WARNING:

This is a story of friendship, commitment, love and trust. It is not a sex story. However, this story deals with love between male teenagers. If you are offended by stories involving love between two teenage boys, please do not read this story. There may be some sex scenes in this story; however, sex is not the main theme. If you are under age 18 or 21 or it is illegal to read this story where you live, don't read it. Reproducing this story for distribution without the owner's permission is a violation of that copyright.

Author's Message: Happy New Year and may this be the best year of your life!

Sam (sam_lakes@hotmail.com)

Chapter 18

We had a great time that day. We spent nearly half the day visiting art galleries. Had dinner out and returned home about ten pm and went straight to our room.

Sven picked up the picture of me riding Merribear.

"You want to know, don't you?" I said with a bit of sadness in my voice.

"Only when you want to tell me."

I patted the bed and he came over and lay down beside me. I rested my head on his chest as his arm gave me a hug and he kissed the top of my head.

"I knew that Sam was dying. He never told me but why would he go to such lengths about the bank and all...he knew I would probably have to go stay with those horrible people and he knew I wouldn't stay and so he gave me a way out."

"Finally, a month before he died he told me he didn't have long to live," I paused, "you have to understand he was all I had. I needed time to accept what he had told me I needed someone I could trust and there was no one. I told him I was going to the wilderness to think. That was the only way I could think of dealing with the news so I went. I had planned to just live out there until I died and I nearly did. If it hadn't been for the photographer I would be dead."

"I never told anyone this especially not Sam but I really intended to die because I was so scared of being alone without Sam and I thought if there were a heaven then Sam and I could be there together forever - except Sam didn't believe in heaven. Anyway, I arrive back at Dawson's meadow and a day later Merribear tipped up bigger than ever. It was very hot so I stripped and she tore my clothes to pieces – well to be honest we play tug-o-war with them. I didn't care I wasn't going back to civilization. One day towards late afternoon we sat by the lake, I told her all my troubles, I cried, and she had never seen me cry from sadness. She did her best to comfort me – licking my face and all." I giggle. "She ended up pushing me into the ice cold lake. Talk about cold! Boy did I stop crying and then I started laughing and splashing her and she'd roar back at me. You'd never think a bear could do that but she got me out of my doldrums. I climbed back up out of the water and we simply sat there for about ten minutes with me leaning into her – a bare boy and his bear...little did we know that the photographer had captured everything. She got up to go forge for food. That's when I got on her back and that photo was taken..."

I lay there with my head on Sven's chest. Why are some things in my life so emotional? I sighed feeling now I had to get through this.

"The next thing I knew I was sitting on my butt. Merribear stood up and I slid off. There before us was a huge grizzly bear. He did not like me being there and he charged - but Merribear challenged him, she was so small compared to him. I knew she was doing it to protect me and give me time to get away...one swing of his mighty paw and he broke her neck...I went bezerk...I didn't even hear the gunshot as I picked up a large stick and bashed the hell out of the bear's head. He fell forward dead from the bullet wound through his heart. I just kept on bashing and bashing and bashing and screaming obscenities at him. I was covered in his blood and my own. I think all the hate I had ever had came out of me at that moment. The photographer came up to me I turned and screamed at him, "Shoot me! KILL ME!" and then I collapsed on to Merribear and cried and yell and alternated between being angry with Merribear for tying to protect me and for dying and leaving me alone and pleading with the photographer to end my life. I was hysterical and totally out of it."

"He picked me up and the next thing I knew I was struggling to keep from drowning in the ice water of the lake. He was trying to drown me! He pulled me out of the water with me gasping for air and simply said, "It's not your time to die, little one."

"He was an Indian nature photographer called Silent Eagle. He explained that Merribear had given her life for me – something - something that never happens - a bear giving it's life for a human. He said somehow our spirits had come together and now she was a part of me and I owed her a good life and he had just proven that I was to live a long and successful life. I spent the rest of the week with him and then return to Sam. Sam said that the Indian was right I was a very special person. Two weeks after I return home I got that picture and gave it to Sam. It was a Saturday and I had a tournament for fencing. Sam had someone pick me up because he was feeling a little under the weather. It was the state junior championship and he didn't want me to miss it so I went and I won. I was the state champion in the junior class! When I got home I ran up to his room yelling "I won! Sam, I won!" There..." I looked up at Sven, my bottom lip quivered and I barley got out that there was no answer, before I buried my face into Sven's chest - crying.

"He never knew, Sven, he never knew that I won," I cried.

"Babe, I don't believe that. I know he knew and that completed his life. And just like the bear is part of you so is Sam. You're so quick to defend your loves, your friends with no concern about your own well being and so many times from what you've told me about Sam I see Sam's spirit in you – kindness and caring of others. You are special."

I shook my head `no' and Sven slapped me alongside of my head. I was shocked for a second.

"Never invalidate my best friend, my love, my mate for life! Do you hear me?" he smiled.

I smiled – he was right.

I kissed him and said "Thanks." We lay there for a while in silence.

"There's something else I wanted to tell you," I said as I rolled over on top of him and looked into his beautiful blue eyes, "You know when I went to the café to tell you I was leaving Paris?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, if you hadn't come running after me I was planning on going back and asking you to go with me." He smiled and we kissed. I could feel him getting hard, I was too, and all too soon it was over and we slept.

One of the things Sven and I had discussed was where we would live once we got back to Paris and it was decided that we would live in his apartment. We would each invest our money in creating our own gallery for our art and other's as time went on and we became famous.

We also decided that we would no longer live off our respective parents but we had to make it on our own as any married couple would. On returning to Paris the first thing we did was go see our friends Alex and Ian. We hadn't told them yet that we were a couple although they knew Sven had been a constant companion to me since we left Paris.

Sven had written them both several times and usually to mention a new boyfriend I was toying with.

Our entrance into the café left no question in their minds if we were a couple. We stood at the entrance with Sven in back of me, his arms wrapped around my waist kissing me gently on the neck. Ian was talking to Alex and standing in a way to prevent Alex from seeing us, besides his attention was on Ian. I yell out in English, "Gar-con, sil vous plate! We need to use your bed!"

"Sven! Dawson!" erupted our two friends as they hurried over to give us hugs.

It was a joyous reunion.

"So, you two are an item," Ian stated more than asked.

"Yes, for life! When I'm eighteen we are going to do it officially but in the meantime we are going to take our vows of commitment and I was wondering if perhaps you and Alex would be our best men?"

"Absolutely! But only if you can be our best men, you know like a double ceremony." Alex gave Ian a bit of a surprised look but then Ian got this innocent look and added, "That is what you'd like Alex right?" Alex just melted you could actually see it!

"What ever you want, my love, " he said quietly. Alex looked at Sven and I and said, "You know I could never say no to this guy and we've been thinking of doing the same thing but never could think of who to asked to be our best men - no one was perfect enough, but you guys are. It's so damn good to see you again and together. And not to change the subject but Ian's novel is going to be published and an American company is going to do a cartoon series on Count Fleacula!"

"Wow! That's fantasic! Dude I knew you were the best," I cheered. Ian blushed.

"So, how long are you going to be in Paris?" asked Ian.

"Well, for good, I guess," answered Sven, "We're going to open a gallery for Dawson's art and my sculptures."

We talked about the idea and suddenly I asked Alex if he wanted to be apart of it too with his photography and before I knew it we all decided that Ian would read his poetry and read his stories and serve coffee and turn it into a place where all artists could meet and promote themselves.

We were having a great time planning and finding all the haps from when we left. I had a burning question but I was scared I guess of Sven's reaction to it. I shouldn't have worried because he looked at me and smiled like he knew what I had been thinking.

"So, how's Dieter?" he asked and that brought a silence. Alex's face turned solemn. Ian's look also changed.

"Geez guys, he didn't die, did he?" I asked almost kidding. But their sudden change in attitude was so marked.

"He might as well have," said Alex sadly, "He's into drugs I think - he all but ignores us we sort of had words to say about it."

"Yeah, I was none to happy either and I gave him a few choice words too. He's not the same Dieter you knew." I guess my face showed what I was feeling one word `guilty'. I had never given him a second chance and I never explain to him why I was really leaving. I was just making him wrong for what he'd done to me and blew it way out of proportion. "Dawson, it wasn't your fault – you tried to get him to get rid of that poor excuse for a human – Andrew."

I simply nodded. But I knew better. Sven gave my hand a gentle squeeze and changed the subject.

I think there is some sort of meta-physical being who gets his jollies out of throwing me into situations I'd rather not have to be in because within the hour who walks into the café but Dieter and Andrew. Alex and Ian both stared in disbelief as the two entered. I turned to see what they were staring at and there was Dieter and Andrew. Our eyes locked on each other for a second and he started to leave but Andrew stopped him.

Being the offensive person he was Andrew lead them over to our table. "Can we join you?" he asked me.

"Only because Dieter is with you and I still have some respect for him," I replied.

"Well, Sven, I see you finally got yourself a boyfriend or are you still pretending he's still your brother."

I started to lash out but Sven stopped me, "He's just being his normal asshole self."

I excused myself to go to the rest room and while I was standing pissing in the urinal Dieter came in and joined me. He looked down and then back at me, "It's definitely gotten bigger."

"I'm sixteen now it makes a difference. Dieter why do you hang with that guy? You're so much better than him, you deserve someone better."

"Because I'm still in love with you, Dawson. I know you love Sven, I guess in a way I always knew there was someone else. You are the best and if I can't have you then it doesn't matter." Dieter took out a couple of pills from his pocket and tossed them down his throat.

"Those are drugs!" I said.

He smiled, "Yeah, I call them Dawson pain killers. Why do I hang with Andrew? Cuz he keeps me in happy pills! Or whatever I need and I give him sex and money" he laughed.

"Dieter, you've got to stop this!"

"What do you care?"

"I care. I care a lot and I always will...just like I'll probably always love you..." Dieter's face went pale and his eyes rolled upwards. He staggered and fell on towards me and I barely caught him.

The only thing I could think of was to make him vomit, I rammed my finger down his throat, and he gagged a few times before he started vomiting. I kept him vomiting until there was nothing else coming up and he was moaning. Sven came in and saw the mess.

"Drugs. Can you clean him up? I think he'll survive. I have something to attend to."

Sven took over and I grabbed up the two pills from the vomit and stormed out of the restroom. I grabbed an empty wine bottle from a table as I made my way to the table where Andrew was sitting with Ian and Alex.

"Oh, shit!" said Ian as he saw the look on my face, which caused Andrew to turn to look at me. Too late and too slow was his reaction as I hit him on the side of the cheek with enough force to knock him off the chair. I threw the two vomit cover pills at him.

As I stood over him with the bottle in my hand I said coldly and viciously, "If you ever come within a mile of Dieter, if you so much as call him or write him or communicate to him again I will come after you and you will wish you were dead when I finish with you. I suggest you leave Paris and for that matter France. Do you understand me?"

Cowardly he nodded and crawled away out of my reach before he stood and left.

"Jesus! Dawson what was that all about?" asked Ian.

"He's been feeding Dieter with drugs and he nearly died," I said as I turn to rush back to the restroom and they followed.

Sven was holding Dieter as he cried. Dieter looked at me and cried, "You should have let me die." I squatted down reached over, put my hand over his mouth, and closed off his air by pinching his nose. He began to struggle for air and to fight for air until he knocked my hand away.

I gently took his head and made him look at me. "You see it's not your time to die. I think you have some of the spirit of the bear in you." I leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead gently. "I'm going to get you through this - correction we all are all going to get you through this. We all love you and we are not going to let you walk out of our lives. It was a one-way street into our hearts and there is no way out."

We took Dieter with us to Sven's apartment. That whole night we all talked, cried, and talked some more. I think we all bared our souls to each other. I think I cried the most because I had never really realized the positive effect I had on the others they all seemed to think like Sven – I was their catalyst and what they never knew was how much of a catalyst they were to me and my life. I arrived an abused, lost kid and they gave me what I needed more than anything else – attention, acceptance, friendship and love.

I liked being the center of attention if you hadn't guessed, sword fighting and dancing in public and putting my own little shows, even my art. It wasn't like I demanded to be the center of attention all the time nor was I one of these self-centered people that had to have his own way. I wasn't a prima donna. Or was I? I was lost in my own thoughts when I realized everyone was looking at me.

"Are you alright, my love?" asked Sven

I blushed. "Hun?" he asked.

"Yeah...I'm fine...Am I a prima donna?" I asked quietly.

"A whot?!" exclaimed Ian.

"You know totally self-centered person? A prima Donna."

"Blimey, what kind of question is that? Honestly, Dawson I should smack you along side of your head!

"Why?"

"Cuz, matey, you're sitting there invalidating yourself or something."

"Yeah, you are!" said Dieter with a smile, "I should bop you too, you've done it to me enough times."

"Yeah, but..."

Whack! Sven bopped me on the back of my head.

"Ow!" I turned and glared at Sven for a split second but he had such a cute look on his face I smiled. God I love him!

"But I wasn't invalidating myself. I was thinking I like being the center of attention, you know sword fighting, dancing and singing and ..."

"So! Dawson, if you were a prima Donna you be doing to point of never letting us be ourselves, but you always seem to time you outbursts perfectly when, when things start getting boring. And that's what I love so much about you – it's not obnoxious. To me it's always like you are sharing one of the most beautiful parts of you," voiced Alex.

"Don't ever stop sharing yourself," said Dieter softly and everyone agreed.

"I will never forget when I first heard you sing..." said Dieter.

"Oh, god!" I cringed.

"I should have known at that moment that your true love was Sven," he laughed.

"Ya, me too, but I was so embarrassed," giggled Sven.

"And I was too full of myself to see," said Dieter.

"Come on Dawson, sing it to Sven again," pleaded Ian.

"Yes, do it! It's was so cute when you did that to Sven," added Alex.

I looked back at Sven and he nodded. We both got up, I put on my very used PSB CD, and as the song Nervously began so did I.

"A nervous boy in several ways,

I never knew the world could operate this way

I was nervous when you stopped to speak

and the world came crashing around my feet

we don't talk of love we're much too shy

but nervously we wonder when and why" I sang along with the music. What surprised everyone was Sven and I were acting our parts of being really shy.

Then Sven did something, which surprised even me, he began to sing in a beautiful but soft voice.

"A nervous boy in spite of which

I never thought I could tremble as much as this

Your flashing eyes and sudden smiles are never quite at ease and neither am I
Oh, we'll talk about it all some night
but nervously we never get it right
from the start I approved of you
Right from the moment you turned to face me
A nervous boy from another town
With a nervous laugh and a constant traded frown
I spoke too fast watchful eyes of a recent past
And some nostalgic supplies."

And finally we both sang the last bit of the song.

"We don't talk of love
Were much too shy
But nervously we wonder when and
Smile knowing why I approved of you,
Right from the moment you turned to face me
A nervous boy."

As the music ended we step into our bedroom and closed the door. Sven gave me most passionate kiss after which I yell through the door, "Dieter, you get the couch. You other two – go home. We're, uh, tired and we're going to bed." Of course I didn't add after we make mad passionate love.

****

Luck must have been with us because two weeks later Sven and I found our gallery and above the gallery was a three-bedroom apartment. It was Sven who suggested that we get the apartment seeing as we were almost always with each other and especially since Dieter was never out of one of us's sight, which he told us he hated, but I don't think that was true. After we moved in we invited Claude over for dinner, which I cooked much to everyone surprise.

After dinner we sat around and Dieter asked, "Dawson, what is the spirit of the bear?"

Sven looked at me cautiously. I smiled and went over and sat on his lap just in case and began to relate the story occasionally getting little hugs from Sven.

"Dawson, that is a most incredible story. What an imagination you have!"

"Yes, Daw, that's a neat story," commented Dieter who had recently started calling me Daw.

"Well, it is true."

"Yeah, right!" exclaimed Alex and Ian.

Sven smiled and excused himself and returned with my picture behind his back, "So, who would like to place a bet on the authenticity of Dawson's story?" No one spoke up because it was written all over Sven's face that he knew something that they didn't know. He handled the picture to Ian whose mouth dropped open, "Gawd blimey, Dawson, you are something else."

I owe my life to the gang but mainly Dawson. So many times I wanted to give up and so many times he was there for me. Their gallery was really taking shape, I help clean and move things around, but I felt left out I was not a photographer like Alex, or painter or sculptor or writer. I was just a model and had no real part in the gallery and one evening they were all chatting about the gallery, Ian and Dawson were arguing about the content of the brochure. I just felt left out so I went off to my room.

Dawson is so cool and he reads me like a book. He knocked on my door and waited for me to tell him to come in.

"Okay, what's up?"

"Nothing."

"Good Alex needs your help deciding what pictures of his to display. So, don't sit in here like you're not a part of the gallery cuz you are – you are twenty percent of it, so stop feeling sorry for yourself and get you lazy ass out here."

Alex handed me a stack of photos to go through and put the potentials in one stack and the non-potentials in another. After going through about a hundred photographs I came to one I could not stop looking at. I was of Dawson painting; he was standing there in his jean cutoffs and no shirt. God! He was so beautiful and he had this intense look on his face, which made the whole photo look intense and incredibly sexy.

It was an incredible photo. "Alex," I said in a whisper as I stared at the photo. My mind was suddenly traveling at light speed. I had this idea about a poster and started excitedly telling Alex about it and the next thing I knew everyone was gathered around listening to me and as I described the poster and how I thought it should be laid out Daw was drawing out a rough sketch of it and in the end an hour later we had it all laid out.

"Your cuz is a genius!" Dawson said to Alex.

"Damn, true!" said Sven.

Daw looked at me and giggled followed by a line I'd always given him, "Gee, every time I think I got you pegged, you up and surprise me! Dieter, believe it you are a genius! So, this poster is your baby, in fact the whole promotion is your baby."

TBC