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I can't even tell you how long Ricky and I spent kissing and rubbing and touching one another in his bedroom. It felt like a whole lifetime. My whole body felt more relaxed than it had ever been before in my life. I mean...honestly...you're never aware of how much sexual tension affects you and keeps you on edge until you share a mutual orgasm with someone that you're really 'bonkers' over and are laying there by his side in bed. It's like...Nirvana. I'd be willing to doubt that no pill, no narcotic, no extended amount of meditation or religious experience, could touch the pure joy and unspeakable joy that comes with just...fucking someone you really REALLY wanted to fuck! Hahaha! Sorry. Sad, but true!
How many people get to say that in their lives? Not many, I'm betting. I certainly never thought that I'd be one of them.
I knew that I'd have to leave soon...but that doesn't mean that it didn't break my heart. now, please understand...I may be a teenager, but I've never been one of those people that ever thought that we weren't conscious enough to at least have a basic understanding of what sex was and what it means. And yet...for the first time, I found myself confused about all of this. I didn't want to say anything and ruin the afterglow of my passionate moments spent here in Ricky's room...but as I turned my head to peek over at him a few times, still impressed with how utterly gorgeous he was...I found myself stuck between my common sense and my mostly irrational emotions. Was this...like...just a crazy sexual interlude to put behind us and think back on fondly at a later date? Or...was this, like...a commitment that we were making to one another right now? To maybe be...you know...together?
That was a question that I never thought I'd ask myself before today. Maybe this is one of those things you just have to learn the hard way, growing up.
Who knows?
We both eventually had to get up out of his bed and start looking for whatever clothes that we had scrambled all around on his bedroom floor. But, even though I expected this to be a 'one time' kind of thing, Ricky kept leaning in to kiss me on the lips. He kept telling me how cute I was. And even though he put those silky soccer shorts back on...I could still see him poking out with a suckable erection that I craved to have back in my mouth again. The only thing stopping me was the idea that I didn't want to look needy. The last thing I needed was for Ricky to think I turned into some kind of a cock hungry pervert that was willing to become a slave to my sexual addiction.
I mean...I probably was. And if not...for Ricky Sweeten, I certainly wouldn't mind being one...
But, for right now, I wasn't. I still wanted to appear to be...like...cool, in his eyes. Just in case he thought that I was no longer in my right mind.
Once I was fully dressed, the pressure to be 'normal' started to weigh heavily on my shoulders again. Do I show...interest? So we could do this some more? I would LOVE to do this some more! A LOT more! Or...should I, maybe, hold back a little bit. I mean...Ricky still likes girls, even if he's willing to step outside of his boundaries every now and then. He might take this the wrong way if he thinks that I'm getting...'attached', or whatever. I could screw this all up by presuming too much if I'm not careful.
Ugh! How dare me feel this way! I was so happy ten minutes ago!
It was a weird experience going back to his front door, ready to go home...knowing that I could still taste his boyish fluids every time I ran my tongue over my teeth or the roof of my mouth. Then again...it was kind of sexy too. Ricky and I kept having this, like...'naughty' eye contact. Something silent to say, 'we're trying to be normal...but we both know better, don't we?' Hehehe! Which, what can I say...secrets are sexy too!
Trying to make a joke out of what just happened in his bedroom, humor being my only defense against the awkwardness of walking away from our first gay virgin experience without having it seem weird...I said, "Well...I guess that could definitely be classified as intellectually stimulating, couldn't it? Hehehe!"
But Ricky surprised me by kissing me again on the lips. Saying, "No...that was FUN!" And that made me blush so hard! Omigod...he's more than I ever could have asked for. I know that he noticed me getting all weird about it, because he said, "Hehehe, you are so unbelievably cute. You know that?"
I sighed, "Really....dude...you're killing me with compliments like that."
"So? Hehehe!" He said.
"SO...you should probably stop before I end up getting totally hooked on you." I grinned.
"And that would be a bad thing, because...why?"
Ricky actually smiled at me, and I have to admit to feeling a bit intimidated. So my only lame answer to him was, "Whatever...hehehe..." I wasn't going to fall into that trap. Not if I could help it.
I was getting ready to leave and go back home before my mom decided to get all paranoid and start thinking about what I might be up to with the sexiest boy in the neighborhood, in his house...all alone. Hehehe, NOT a conversation that I would want to have with her any time soon. Believe me. But as I was getting ready to leave, Ricky softly called out my name. "Jamie?"
"Yeah?"
"I...I really did like having you come over and stuff today." He said.
"Yeah. Me too. And the ice cream was cool too." I told him.
"Well, sure...yeah, the ice cream and all..." He started, "But...all the, like...'everything'. I liked that too. You know what I mean?"
My face turning an even deeper shade of red, I was hesitant...but agreed. Hehehe! "I liked it too. I mean...like, well...yeah. I'll shut up now."
"You don't have to." Ricky said.
"Nah. I prolly should. But...thanks." I told him. "Today was great." Then, after thinking about it, I said, "Except for the part where...like...I totally squirted you in the face with my...you know...'stuff'."
"Didn't bother me much." He smiled. And DAMMIT, he's got to stop using that cute dimple of his as a weapon against me! "I thought that part was fun too." I turned my gaze away from him, still a bit humiliated by the whole thing, but Ricky was quick to ask, "Look...ummm...you don't feel, like...used or anything, do you? Because, that was totally never my intention."
"Used?" I asked. But, once I thought about it, I said, "Oh! No! No way, dude!"
"Because I would feel bad if you thought I was just trying to get off, or whatever."
"Well, I mean, I was too. So..." Wait! That came out wrong! Arrrghhh! "No, I mean, I just had a good time. Just like you did. Right?"
He gave me a sexy grin. "Yeah. A good time."
Trying to put my humor shield up, I said, "Well...it looks like we've both got a really wild story to tell now, don't we? Hehehe!" But the second the words left my mouth, I realized how friggin' TERRIBLE it was for me to say something like that! My brain basically kicked me right in the ass for even suggesting such a thing, and immediately went into course correction mode! "I mean...NOT that I was planning to tell anybody about...you know. Because I wouldn't. I swear. Like, I promise with all my heart, Ricky...I'll never tell anybody about today, ok? Just...just in case you were worried about it."
Ricky just smiled, and surprised me with another quick kiss on the lips. And he said, "You know...I don't think I am. Worried about it, I mean. Not in the least. I'm thinking that anybody looking at how super cute you are would definitely understand. So, you know...like...it is what it is. Heh..."
"Ricky...! Hehehe!" I blushed.
"WHAT??? You are! I mean it. C'mon, you can't keep me from telling you that you're cute when you're cute!"
We both snickered quietly to ourselves, but when his eyes met mine again...I leaned in to place a lingering kiss on his dreamy lips while caressing the side of his face. This whole situation was full of so much 'wow', you know?
"Thank you..." I said. And Ricky moved in to smother me with another flurry of kisses that I actually had to back away from as I was laughing at his passionate assault. "This is so crazy to me."
Ricky said, "It's crazy for me too. But...maybe we can spend some time being crazy together for a while. Like...soon."
"How do you mean?" I asked.
"Well, I mean...my dad's gonna be gone this upcoming Saturday. Maybe...you wanna come over again?"
Suddenly, it felt as though my heart was full of concrete. Weighing it down until its rapid and unnaturally beat was being pulled down into the pit of my stomach. Nervously, I gasped out loud before softly whispering, "All day Saturday...."
Damn you, Silas!!!
"All day what now?" Ricky asked.
But I just did my best to swallow my emotions and my excitement, gently squeaking, "Nothing. Nevermind. I mean...yeah, that could be cool. This coming weekend?"
"Definitely. just come by and ring the doorbell. K?" He said. "I'll be here."
It's hard for my brain to process this. Like...is this a real thing? I almost want to force myself to believe that that this is some kind of elaborate hoax. But...Ricky would have to go pretty hard core for us to have sucked each other's dicks just for the sake of a random prank. That seems a little excessive to me. But my brain and my heart were both having a major conflict at that moment, both of them in denial of what the other side was trying to prove as being the truth. So...I left it all up to the risk of getting a few cool moments in before I, ultimately, got rejected in the long run.
"Ok, soooo...Saturday, then?" I asked, timidly.
"Yeah. Saturday. Come on by." He smiled, that magic dimple driving me crazy all over again.
"Ok..." I sighed, and he gave me a hug. Like....a really cool, long lasting hug. And that's when I asked him, "Ummm...do you mind if I just...like...ummm..." And I just grabbed both of his taut, firm, ass cheeks with both hands, squeezing the ripe globes tightly while placing soft kisses on his neck. "Omigod, that feels so hot..." I said.
Ricky giggled with delight. "Ummm, okaaay...whatever makes you happy."
"THIS! This, right here! This makes me happy, hehehe!"
I finally let go of that fine peach of teen boy ass and backed away from him again, trying to fix my erect bulge so that walking back to my house wouldn't be such a clumsy effort. And Ricky said, "I'm glad you came over."
Omigod, he's so CUTE! "Yeah. Me too."
"Say hi to your friend, Silas, for me when you get a chance."
Oh wow, I had almost forgot about that part. With a grin, I said, "No. I won't be doing that at all. In fact, I think I'm going to have to work really hard to keep him from looking at you the way he does from now on. Hehehe!"
"Why? He can look if he wants to." He smirked.
"No. Trust me...he can't." And I actually surprised myself by saying, "You don't want me getting all jealous and weird on you, do you?"
But he simply responded with, "There's nothing to be jealous or weird about. I'm not planning on going anywhere. Are you?"
My heart leapt up into my throat, but I kept my calm. I shook my head. "Nope. Not unless you tell me to get lost."
"Hehehe, well, then you have nothing to worry about." He said, and gave me another quick peck on the lips before opening his front door for me. "Now...go ahead. Get lost."
I laughed, and kissed him on the cheek one last time. "K. Bye..."
"Saturday, right?" He asked.
"Yeah. Saturday." I sighed, and tried to balance myself as I walked away from his door and tried to navigate through this new, highly intense, version of reality that I was being exposed to for the first time as I made my way back to my house.
I felt so wobbly in the legs. The whole time, I was like...'Did that just happen? Did I just have a legitimate sexual escapade with the hottest straight boy in the whole neighborhood?' An even bigger question was...is the door really open for us to do it again? I mean, exactly how many free 'ice cream sundae' coupons do I have left as far as this whole sex thing goes? Because this, in reality, shouldn't be happening. I mean, this is like a full blown hetero-heist going on here! There's no way that this is normal.
Ricky Sweeten actually exploded in my friggin' MOUTH! It was just like...ten minutes ago! How fucking HOT is that???
I just...I can't stop being overwhelmed by the very idea of it all.
Ok...so...Saturday. I've got to start watching WAY more porn! I just want to be ready, you know? Oh man....I already want some more. I wonder how long he'll be alone at home. Maybe after lunch, I can go back over for a while. Or maybe my mom will vacate the premises and I can call him up and have him come back over to my house. Or maybe...we can start having sleepovers or something! Holy shit...that would be so hot, me and Ricky having sleepovers! Staying up until everybody goes to sleep, and they we climb in bed together and try to be quiet while we make love over and over again until the sun comes up. Sighhhh...yeah. That sounds like Heaven to me.
For the rest of the night, I didn't even realize that I was smiling so much until my mother asked me what the heck was going on to put me in such a glorious mood all of a sudden. Hehehe, maybe I was a bit distant with my unbelievable surge of joy, and when you feel this 'perfect'...it's kind of hard to hide it from the people who know you best. But I really was trying to tone things down a bit, if for no other reason than I knew I'd be much better off if she didn't spend too much time thinking about the fact that I spent a good deal of time over at the house of the hottest boy in the neighborhood. I mean...let's not put ourselves into a position where I need to explain why I left his house feeling like I was floating away on cloud nine, you know?
But...once I made it through dinner and went back up to my room, closing the door and returning to my private time? Omigod, did I ever feel like FREAKING OUT!!!
I smiled until my cheeks hurt and the muscles in my face began to cramp up. I rolled back and forth on my bed, holding my pillow tight as memories of Ricky's cute smile and sexy body kept replaying over and over in my mind. His mouth on me. My mouth on his. The taste of his genuine kiss, and the weight of his body on top of me...thrusting his slender hips against me. The spongy feel of his incredible ass in my hands. Oh WOW!!! I lost count of the number of times that I jacked off thinking about him that night. I, literally, kept squirting until I started to feel a bit ashamed of myself for doing it so much. And then I did three MORE times after that!
God...I want him to fuck me soooo DEEP!
Ahem...sorry. I tend to get carried away when it comes to Ricky. Can't help it.
Hehehe, he's...'pretty'.
The next morning I woke up wondering if I had hallucinated the whole thing. I, honestly, did. I was almost scared to open my eyes, for fear that my most erotic dream ever would come to an end...and I'd have to go back to being alone and watching boys like Ricky Sweeten from across a crowded room again. But, when I checked my phone...one of the first things that I do every morning, before I even go to the bathroom...there was a short message from Ricky waiting for me. Saying, "I had an awesome time yesterday, Jamie. I hope you did too. Can't wait for Saturday! Talk to you soon! (Kiss!)" Awwww, he sent me a kiss! That's beyond adorable!
This is the part where I try to balance my emotions out again. It's hard to really know what, or how much, I can expect from this. Believe me, I have absolutely NO problem with Ricky and I using each other to experiment and get off whenever we're feeling frisky! I could do that all day! But...well, I mean...he's not my boyfriend, is he? I wouldn't have a problem with that either. It's just...
Well, Ricky thinks I'm cute. And you already know how obsessive I am over how gorgeous he is to me. And maybe we both share a common interest in other boys. And maybe we get along, personality wise. It's easy for us to keep a fun conversation going. And we make each other laugh too...which is a good thing. But...that doesn't make us a couple.
Or does it? I don't know. I'm brand new at this sort of thing.
I would be truly blessed if I could just fall head over heels in love with Ricky and trust that we could have one of those special Disney prince and princess 'happily ever after' endings...but my fear of possibly getting hurt or rejected in the end kept me from giving my emotions the green light to get overly involved in something that might just end up being a weekend fling at best.
Just saying...
My phone rang, and I saw Silas' name come up. "Hello?"
"What the fuck do you MEAN, 'hello'???" He said. "You've been ghosting me for a day and a half, and then you're just gonna answer your phone like that shit didn't just happen?"
"What? I was busy yesterday. Gimmee a break!" I giggled.
"Busy doing what?" Then Silas gasped. "Omigod! Did you get to see Ricky with his shirt off???" Hehehe, if only he knew.
"You're talking crazy. Shut up." I said.
"I'm coming over. I wanna hang out. Besides, my mom is on one of her psycho 'the entire house needs cleaning' kicks. And it's only a matter of time before she starts giving me a bunch of bullshit chores to do. I need an immediate evac before she gets me all sweaty and dirty and shit."
"Yeah. That's cool. Come on over. I'm not going anywhere." I told him.
"Sweet! See you in ten!" Silas said, already getting himself together to escape the hell of household burdens.
Hehehe, there's definitely a part of me that wants to TOTALLY brag about what happened with me and Ricky yesterday, but...I mean...should I tell him?
It's kind of sexy...having it be our intense little 'secret', you know?