Date: Sun, 24 Mar 2024 22:18:59 +0000 (UTC)
From: Don Cornelius <doncornelius69 (at) yahoo.com>
Subject: Heartbeat Chapter 14

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Chapter 14

The advice Mary and Anna gave me was perfect. The Wednesday after we
returned from France, I cracked the script for the first time in days. I
kept thinking about a line, "Pass the grits, please" in a scene, fixated on
it really, and it was like the entire character fell into place for me. I
suddenly got him and I had his voice, soft and easy, almost melodic, with a
beautiful southern lilt. Despite the crushing poverty of their lives, Sam
was decent, honest, and pure. He thought rarely of himself and instead
focused on others. The family didn't have much and what protein was on the
table he was going to make sure went to the younger kids. He would be fine
with grits.

He was the oldest child, the one whose overwhelmed parents depended on to
help with the kids and the grandparents. He'd dropped out of school to work
during the day to help provide for them all. His place was to help them
build their lives.

The character, his backstory, everything...  It came to me in a flood, like
being knocked over and I actually teared up because for the first time
since Gloria told me the story, I felt emotionally connected to the
character. Now, it was so clear to me that his motivation was altruism and
love. Sam wasn't driven by self-abnegation, he wasn't being aesthetic, nor
did he derive pleasure from helping his family do something more than he
would. No, Sam was pure, someone that did things for others without any
expectation of repayment or reward. This was his life and it was beautiful.

I teared up a little thinking about it as we sat down to eat and my mother
asked what was wrong, so I told her about my little epiphany and she looked
cross.

"You read the book?"

I shook my head, "No, ma'am. In fact, you weren't the only one who told me
not to, and I didn't."

"OK, so how did you arrive at this insight?"

"There's a scene where they're at dinner and he asks for the grits after
they've said their prayer before eating. His first instinct was to ask for
the cheapest food on the table so that the people he cared for were sure to
get enough," I actually started to tear up a bit as I told her this. This
character, this man, was an angel in human form and now that I understood
him there was no mystery left. "It's just who Sam is; He's not living for
other people; he's making sure they can live for themselves."

My mom had the strangest look on her face, a mixture of shock and I'm
pretty sure parental pride. I finally had to ask her, "What?"

"It's just... uhm... You nailed it. That's the book. The entire book is
about that, just an ordinary man doing for others..."

"And expecting nothing in return," I finished.

She took a deep breath, "Yeah. That you picked that up from a line is
impressive because that scene in the book goes for page after page."

I just shrugged, "I've probably read that scene 20 times, but this
afternoon is the first time I really understood."

"I can't wait to see this because it's going to be a really good adaptation
if this is the direction you're going."

Zach arrived a few minutes later and I excitedly told him that I'd found
it.

"Found what?" he asked, smirking.

"Sam!"

"Sam?"

"Oh, stop! You know what I'm talking about," I said as I spun on my heel
and started to walk away.

He grabbed, my upper arm, easily pulling me back to collide with him as he
came in for a kiss. As he broke it, I took a second, then opened my eyes to
see him smiling.

"I couldn't resist and I'm very happy for you!"

I smiled, "Thank you!"

Seeing him like this, relaxed and having fun with me, made me extremely
happy as it further reinforced his assurance with me. Our relationship had
only grown deeper and I had to admit, I liked the secure, tough, Zach. He'd
always been this way, but with so much worry and anxiety mixed in, it made
him occasionally nervous and weird. Now, with all that purged, he was
completely the man I'd fallen in love with. He was still so considerate at
times it made my heart ache, but he was just different... more forceful and
there was no attempt to hide his more aggressive side from me. In short, he
was no longer worried about breaking my hand when he shook it. It wasn't
about trusting me, he trusted himself with me.

Zach and I flew to down for the LA premier early Thursday afternoon. Even
getting through the airport was something of a nightmare since people
wanted autographs and selfies while we were trying to get to a plane before
they closed the door.

As we walked down the jetway, I looked over at Zach to see him smiling. He
noticed me and said, "It's OK, babe. This is just how it's going to be."
Then he reached out for my hand.

The studio, given the success we'd enjoyed in Europe and the hype in the
US, had graciously agreed to fly us first class tonight and back tomorrow
evening. It was probably the only nice thing they'd done since the blow up
in Cannes at the press avail. That ended up occupying way too much of my
time, and Jimmys, as every troll homo in the universe came for
me. Thankfully, there were a growing number of people who realized why I
was fighting that line of thinking so desperately and they were
increasingly coming to my defense. I'd done an interview with MSNBC about
it Monday night that went surprisingly well.

Watching Zach now, with people, was also a treat. His more dominant and
assertive side was coming out all over now and it was so fucking sexy. It
reminded me of seeing him on the field during a game when he'd just own the
other team. As people approached us in the airport, he was always close,
just a little wary and completely prepared to act. It was like having a
body guard but he wasn't there to strong arm people away, just ready in
case something went wrong.

We arrived in LA just after 530 and ended up changing in the bathroom at
the airport because traffic was such a mess that we weren't going to be
able to meet Tom at the office first. Instead, we went directly to the
premier, arriving just a tad later than we'd originally planned. Everyone
had told me it was going to be a big event, but it was Jimmy who was the
most accurate and gave me the best advice.

"Start smiling before you get out of the car. Wave, to the press and the
crowd, and if a reporter asks you a question on the carpet that you feel
like answering, go ahead but do not engage on anything stupid. The
flashes..."

"Jimmy, I'm a model. I'm used to cameras!" I replied, laughing just a bit.

"This is different, Tate. Do not look up, keep your eyes level and always
know what the path in front of you looks like in case there's a little
flash blindness. Seriously, man, this is not the same."

Jimmy was right. This made Cannes look like a showing in the suburbs. There
were people and cameras everywhere and Zach, sensing that I was about to
break down, grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I looked up into his eyes and
felt peace descend. After that, I was ready as we walked from the car to
the carpet and chatted just a bit with press while posing for pictures. It
was weird DOING something you'd seen others do and hoping you didn't look
stupid, that you'd appear totally calm and professional, at least
outwardly. This time was going to be rough, I thought as we finally walked
into the theater. Next time will be old hat.

We ran into Tommy as we were walking in and he was all smiles. He gave me a
hug and whispered to me, "This is fucking unbelievable."

Stupidly, I responded. "Which part?"

"You will not believe some of the people who showed up for this."

Zach and I checked in with Tom, who introduced us to some people from the
studio, then we wandered around meeting people. There were celebrities all
over the place and it was, as Tommy said, unbelievable. I was a little
shell shocked, but I felt like I was playing it off and handling things
well. Zach didn't seem to be fazed by any of it, completely calm and ready
for anything. At one point he whispered to me, "You're doing very well,
babe." I looked back at him, smiling, and nodded. To me, it was all a
little much. I knew there would be celebrities here but I had no idea it
would be this big. Despite the positive press and awards from Cannes, I'd
been in a bubble concentrating on finals and preparing for our move. I was
graduating in a week and then I would start Summer Moon almost
immediately. I'd been oblivious to everything for Love Story, except for an
interview Jimmy set up with TMZ which went really well and the MSNBC
interview about my comments at the press avail.

I should have known this would be an event, but I just didn't realize.

We ran into Anna, who wore a wide grin, as we walked around. I couldn't
help but smile back at her.

"You look amazing!" she said, as she gave me a hug.

"Thank you and so do you," I told her. "I also have some good news!"

"Oh really? What?"

I was so excited I felt like I was going to burst as I told her, "I found
Sam!"

Her eyes went wide, "The break worked?"

I laughed, "Any time I have a problem from now on, I'm going to you and
Mary! It worked like a charm. I have the voice, the motivation, how he
moves, everything. I'm ready, Anna. I'm really ready!"

She squealed and hugged me again!

"I'm so happy! I can't wait to get started!"

"Same."

About 30 minutes later they pulled us into the theater and I got to watch
the movie again and realized I was wrong to have ever doubted myself. I
realized I was good not because I was trained well, I was good because I
became the character. There had been some imposter syndrome going on, the
natural outcome of people raving about how well you did and not really
knowing what had happened or how to duplicate it.

Now, I got it. That's why finding Sam meant so much to me. I was never
going to play every part that was put in front of me well. Those I needed
to avoid. I could only do things that spoke to me, that made me feel some
sort of passion.

I heard Zach as he leaned over to whisper in my ear, "Stop thinking about
it and get back into the movie."

I glanced over to see him smiling at me. For the rest of my life, that face
would always be there and the man wearing it would always have a ringside
seat to whatever was going on in my head.

ZACH

When the movie ended, Tate did photos with Davis and Tommy, then we went to
the party where, thankfully, there was actual food. Granted, it was
cocktail food but to a hungry giant like me, ANY food is good when you're
starving.

While I gorged myself, Tate was making the rounds with Davis meeting people
and thanking them for coming. I was glancing at my phone when Jake Hansen
walked up.

"Dude! This all for you?" he asked, gesturing at the platter of hors
d'oeuvres on the table in front of me.

I replied, still chewing on my last, "If you can grab it before I do, it's
yours"

Jake laughed as he pulled up a chair and sat down with me, "These things
can be really tedious. My ex hated them."

"I don't mind. I know it's important and he seems to be having a good time,
just wish we'd been able to eat something before we left San Francisco."

"I keep forgetting you guys aren't local. When are you moving down?"

I shook my head, "We're not. I'm starting Stanford this fall and Tate's
starting at San Jose State. We're going to stay tied down to the Bay."

"That's going to be a problem for him, you know?"

I shrugged, "We're going to be around. He certainly will, though probably
from SJC more than SFO. He's so used to being on planes from modelling that
it'll kind of be fun for him."

"I hope so. I really enjoyed meeting you guys and I was kind of looking
forward to seeing you more often."

"Same, bro," I said, holding my fist out for him to bump. "What did you
think of the movie?"

Jake sat back and sighed, "I know what I want to say, but I don't know how
you're going to react to it."

I smiled, "You're fine, man. Seriously, you're not going to piss me off
unless you say something dumb like you hated it."

Jake laughed, "Not at all. In fact, I liked it FAR more than I thought I
would. To be honest, watching him, it was the first time in my life I've
thought of another man as hot."

I nodded, "He is. It's natural..."

"No, you don't understand. It's the first time..."

"No, BRO, I get it. You don't have to say it."

"It's weird, you know? I've always been straight as an arrow."

"Jake, you're not gay. There's a difference between wanting to fuck someone
because they're beautiful, even a dude, and loving them."

"This is weird, isn't it?"

That was the thing, for me it wasn't. I'd recently had a similar
conversation with a junior on my football team who thought he might be gay
because he jerked off one night thinking about Tate. Last fall, that little
admission would have landed him in the hospital to have his jaw wired
shut. Now, I took it in stride.

"Maybe because we don't know each other that well, but in terms of the
subject, no. You're not even the first straight guy to bring this up
recently and I can only imagine there will be more after this weekend."

He smiled, "Goddamn, son. You're the coolest motherfucker I know."

THAT was saying something coming from a guy whose last movie grossed almost
$300 million.

I smiled back at him, "You say that like you're just now figuring it out."

He sat back in his chair, "Whatever," he replied with a smile. We ended up
chatting a bit more and he asked when we'd be back. I told him for Anna's
party definitely, but with Tate's schedule for Summer Moon and photo
shoots, I didn't think we'd be back much more than that.

"Well, I may have to fly up there and have lunch with you at some point."

That made me pause. This was a guy who honestly wanted a friend and we got
along well enough so he was putting it out there to see if I'd pick it up.

"Man, I'd love that!"

Not long after, Tommy came over and sat down with us, sighing deeply. He
looked over at me, shaking his head.

"I don't know how he does it. He just keeps going, laughing and shaking
hands like he's running for something."

Jake laughed, "That's what he's supposed to be doing. For that matter, so
are you!"

Tommy ducked his head, "Nah, I need a break."

"If you're already folding up under pressure, what are you going to do when
your first really big movie comes out?" Jake asked. It was a legit
question, given the track Tommy was proceeding down.

Tommy shrugged, "I'll deal with it. I just a need a break right now."

The whole thing, if I'm honest, made me really dislike Tommy for the first
time since meeting him. THIS WAS WORK, and Tate treated it that way.

I leaned back in my chair, "Tate keeps going because he knows everyone is
depending on him." I said it in too angry a tone and I could see Tommy's
eyes go wide.

"I'm sorry," he said as he got up. "I wasn't thinking about the bigger
picture."

I nodded back to him, "I didn't mean that how it came out..."

Tommy shook his head, "No, I get it and you don't need to apologize. You're
right and I'm being a jerk." He walked back out and immediately greeted a
couple I didn't recognize.

I looked over at Jake as he cleared his throat, "What?"

"He needed that."

I nodded back, "Yeah, but I think I may have been a little too rough on
him."

Jake shook his head, "Nope. He needed to hear that, just that way. He needs
to know this is a job or he's going to have a very short career."

I laughed, "Well, it's not his career I'm concerned about."

Jake smiled, "Yeah, I got that. Tate's working..."

"...and he's fucking not. I know I'm being kind of cunty about it, but I
watched Tate through the entire production and post. He even prepped for
those stupid TV interviews, took them all seriously, and listened to every
inane criticism that came to him from the publicity people. He was a
machine, he continues to be, and Tommy needs a fucking break? I know he
worked hard, too, but nut the fuck up!"

Jake had a huge smile on his face, "Man, I know we've known each other less
than a week, but DAMN... I really do hope you consider me a friend."

I nodded, "Absolutely."

It felt good. I was making some friends of my own in Tate's world and it
would make things easier on me as his career exploded.

Later, we grabbed something to eat with Tommy, Jake, and Davis. Tate was
absolutely famished, having had exactly one crab puff and a protein shake
since lunch. Tate and Jake were talking about some science fiction book
they'd read that they thought would make a good movie. It didn't take Davis
long to pick up on it.

"Have you picked out a role for yourself?" he asked.

Tate shook his head, "No, there isn't one for me in it."

Jake smiled, "No, you could play Paul."

"But in most of the book he's like 80? No one's going to believe me as an
80-year-old!"

Davis blurted out, "The protagonist is 80?"

Tate nodded, "Well, one of them is. There's also a youngish woman, a
Blatino kid, and a big beefy law enforcement type."

"That would be me," Jake blurted out, then continued, "You could be Roberto
Richardson!"

"Oh, fuck you!"

Which prompted laughter all around, though three of us had no idea what
they were talking about. After dinner, we met Anna at a club which slapped
hard. I didn't have a decent fake yet, but I had Darren's California
license that helped me pass since we actually did look alike, as long as
you didn't look too closely. Tate had the fake he'd paid a lot of money for
in New York and it worked like a champ, as always.

The club was a lot of fun and we got recognized a few times, but for the
most part the crowd was chill. It gave us time to relax and meet some
friends of Anna's and, because my man loved to, dance.

We'd been on the floor for a while and then this song came on that really
got to me. As we danced, I focused on him and actually listened to the
lyrics of the song

What I've learned about love is when you fall, you fly And I'd fall a
thousand times before I'll say goodbye As we stand here at these crossroads
Is it the end of the line Or the start of the rest of our lives?

I saw him looking into my eyes and I could feel myself tear up, as I leaned
into kiss him deeply. I was little blown away by the song and how it made
me feel. I'd never really been touched by music like that, but I FELT that
song. It was me and this was absolutely the start of the rest of our
lives. I wasn't in my head any more. I didn't second guess the things he
did and said and I could read him so well, and he could me, that it's like
we were psychically connected.

As I broke the kiss, I moved by hands lower on his body and pulled him
close to me, feeling him relax and let me hold him. I felt the same way I'd
felt when I first saw his picture in GQ two years before, like anything was
possible. I was strong enough for us both, and there was nothing that would
ever make me let him go.

The next morning, we got up late and had to rush to meet Tom. We were
having breakfast with him, then going to Jimmy's office to meet with him
and Ben. That was the meeting I'd been looking forward to since Ben had
impressed me negotiating his deal for Love Story and Tate described Jimmy
as `the guy you'd expect if pure malevolence had a body and a face'.

I obviously wanted to meet my new bestie!

When we got to the restaurant, Tom was all smiles as he stood up to greet
us. In very hushed tones he told us the presales through midnight last
night, $21 million.

Tates smiled, "That's for how many days forward?" he asked. I was shocked,
I wasn't even thinking about that, just thought those were for the next
day.

"It's week ahead, through next Thursday but the breakdown is overwhelmingly
for the next 24-48 hours."

"Wow. That's better than we expected, right?" Tate asked.

Tom nodded, "It brings us up to a potential opening weekend of $34 million
and that would put us at right around $48 million globally. This time next
week, you'll have probably earned almost $1.7 million from your cut of the
gross."

Tate looked shocked, "That's more than 10 years modelling," he managed to
sputter out.

"Well, I guess we now know the highest and best use of your time," Tom
said, laughing, clearly missing how out of it Tate really was. Tate had
grown up comfortable and he knew his mother would inherit some real wealth
when his grandfather passed, but he'd never thought of making money like
this. He'd depended on himself and his mother often had to insist she be
allowed to do something for him. All of it, every part, stemmed from how
his father treated him and his mother while his was the sole paycheck and
even after his mother had gone back to work. He wasn't like my father; he
was an asshole about money and it was only modelling that had allowed Tate
some freedom. He'd only recently begun to open up about the damage his
dirtbag father had done to him over the years, and I'd been thinking about
taking another trip to Texas.

I looked at Tom and gently shook my head, mouthing BE GENTLE to him, which
he apparently understood.

"Tate, I know this is all a bit of a shock, but you have someone to help
you with money, right?"

"Uh huh," he softly replied, still staring sort of blankly at the table. At
that point the waiter came over and we ordered, Tate blurting out `Eggs
Benedict' a little too loudly which drew attention from nearby
tables. Fortunately, none of them seem compelled to come over and say
anything.

After the waiter left, he looked over at Tom.

"I know you said this was going to be big, but this means it's really big,
right?"

Tom looked at him curiously, "Tate, is it the money that's shocked you or
the size of the audience?"

"The audience," he answered without hesitation.

Tom leaned forward, "It's like agoraphobia. The world seems really big..."

"And everyone knows me."

Tom nodded, "You can handle this, Tate. I know this is a shock, but this is
going to be your life now. You can't hide from it. The world is quickly
getting to know you and they're falling in love."

This was something I'd figured out months ago and honestly thought Tate
understood. Now, it was crystal clear he didn't. He'd legitimately thought
this was going to be a small arthouse movie. It was now going to make,
domestically, more this weekend than he thought it would in its entire run.

He finally looked over at me, his eyes wide and clearly apologetic. It made
me start to tear up because I knew what was coming.

"I'm sorry. You were right and I'm really sorry."

I smiled as my eyes began to water, "Baby, I'm thrilled. You EARNED
this. There is absolutely nothing to be sorry for."

He smiled, "OK..." he replied softly as he used his napkin to wipe away his
tears. Then he straightened up, cleared his throat and looked at Tom.

"Sorry, this was something we talked about before I even went to audition
for the role. He knew it was going to be really big and I was sure it
wasn't."

Tom nodded, "I king of figured that," he replied, smiling. "The kind of
instant success you're walking into will cause some disruptions, but like
Zach said, you earned this and while you can't turn it off, you can turn it
down."

Tate laughed, "Yeah, I'm avoiding social media right now."

"That's good. Don't get overwhelmed, and remember you have a lot of people
around you who love you and are here for you."

Tate sighed, sitting up in the chair, regaining some of his composure.

"We're going to see Ben and Jimmy after breakfast."

Tom smiled, "Good. They're doing a good job for you." And he looked at me,
"And for you."

I know I looked puzzled, "What do you mean?"

"They've already killed some sites who were ripping on your
relationship. Jimmy, I don't know how he did it, but he got one of them
shut completely down."

"About me?" I asked, stupidly. I was having my own moment.

Tom sat back, laughing just a little, "My dude, you're going to play D1
football and you're dating America's newest favorite actor and
heartthrob. Did you expect attention wouldn't find you?"

I heard Tate snort and I said, "What?" as I smiled at him.

"I really am sorry!" he blurted out, laughing.


TATE

Despite my meltdown, breakfast went really well and the food was
amazing. Yes, in fact, a $50 plate of eggs is better than a $10 one. Maybe
not $40 better, but it was better.

I was still dealing emotionally with the fact that things were a lot bigger
than I'd thought and it was coming much faster. While everyone had told me
what to expect, hearing that it was actually doing better did a number on
me because I'd taken everyone's projections and divided them by four. I
wasn't expecting a gross of $100 million, I was thinking $25 million
total. We were going to do more than that just this weekend.

It was a shock. I'm used to people looking at me, but not like this. This
was a whole new level and I needed time to really get myself psyched up for
it so it didn't overwhelm me or, worse, change me. I knew Zach would help
with that, but I didn't want to lean on him that way. I needed to stay me,
it was the only way I could keep him and find the success I wanted for
myself.

Over the few days since we'd returned from France, I'd really begun to
think of acting as my vocation. There was going to be some modelling, but
that was going to change dramatically. I'd have two primary clients because
they could afford me and I'd let Nina pick a smaller one to help out. That
would be it. I'd earn a lot more from it than I ever had, which would make
Nina happy, but I'd put in barely a few weeks of work for those houses each
year.

From now on, I was an actor and I'd have to find a way to make it all work
with school. One thing I was completely certain of was that I would lose
myself in the swirl of it all if I didn't focus on what was important to
me. I couldn't get lost in the success, and praise, for Love Story, I had
to work because I WANTED to nail Summer Moon. I needed to do well the
adaptation of a book that had touched so many.

We said our goodbyes to Tom, then went to Jimmy's office in Century
City. The office itself said a lot about the man. There were pictures all
over the walls in reception and, we'd find out, the conference room. The
man was an extreme sport enthusiast, all that was thankfully lacking was
hunting. This was Jimmy's shop, not Jimmy and company.

We were looking at the pictures when he came out to greet us with a big
smile on his face.

"My man!" he said, taking my offered hand and pulling me to
him. "Congratulations on the premier! The press is absolutely beautiful and
everything is going well on social media, too."

I exhaled, "That's a relief. I was hoping it would be good, but I never
expected this."

"You should have. From what I've heard, you're fucking amazing."

He then turned to Zach and offered his hand, which Zach took, with a big
smile on his face.

"Jimmy, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"You too, Zach."

That meeting was strange. I knew Zach's forearms, and he was flexed, but
Jimmy was completely casual, no hint of distress. Zach was completely at
ease with Jimmy, as Jimmy was with him. Zach was friendly, but it didn't
normally warm up to people this quickly. Had they talked before today?
There'd been no sizing each other up, they both acted like old friends. I
didn't get it and actually wondered if they knew one another previously.

Jimmy led us back to the conference room where Ben was sitting and he got
up to shake my hand, then Zachs and casually mentioned when Zach was ready
for the Combine, he'd be deeeeeelighted to represent him, `you know, keep
it all in the family!'

Zach just laughed as he sat down, telling Ben there was little chance he'd
play pro ball.

"OK," Jimmy said as he sat down. "We're going to start sending you a report
on activity online, just an outline, of metrics and what we're seeing
negative and positive. We're going to do it twice a week initially and
you'll get the first one tonight.

"We've been very aggressive in terms of image management for you both. I
have to compliment you both on your self-awareness, since the pictures
posted of you from France and school..."

Zach stopped him, "School? People have been taking pictures of us at
SCHOOL?"

Jimmy smiled, "They have. Nothing commercial, it's just stuff they're
posting to insta, all of it is tame."

I gulped, "My life as a private person is pretty much over, isn't it?"

Jimmy nodded, "Not completely, but you have to be aware that when you're
out in public there are going to be people taking a picture of you. So far,
they've all been outstanding, not so much as a rubbed nose. Just keep being
yourself and going about your day."

I was cool, "Well, it's nothing we can control, other than what you
do. I'll just have to make sure I blow my nose in private."

"And no urinals, for either of you."

That made me laugh, "Jimmy, what the fuck?"

Jimmy sighed, "On the dark web the going rate for pictures of your cocks is
$10k. That'll go higher as the receipts go up on the movie."

"You're kidding me? You're joking, right?" I asked, innocently.

"No," Jimmy smoothly replied. "Also, you should know that a former hookup
is shopping his story right now."

"Oh, God..."

"Yeah, some guy in New York you hooked up with during fashion week last
year?"

I snorted, "That doesn't narrow it down much, Jimmy." Which made Ben and
Zach both laugh.

"It's a guy named Foster Mortimer. Old east coast money, but apparently
kind of the black sheep of his particular branch of the tree. His number is
$50k and no one has come close to it, yet. After this weekend, he'll get
it."

The name I legit didn't recognize, but then Jimmy pulled up a picture on
the screen on the wall and I suddenly remembered.

"It was a threesome with him and his girlfriend who I knew from working
with Marc Allen," I said with a sigh. "What's he saying?"

"It's some mildly kinky stuff, but nothing too bad. Basically, he's saying
he topped you while you were eating out the girlfriend."

That made me laugh, "Nope. I topped him and made him cum hands free. When I
was done, I made him clean off my dick with his tongue."

"Really? I never would have thought!"

I glanced back at Zach, smiling, then turned back to Jimmy and said, "Yeah,
I'm full of surprises."

Jimmy laughed, "How public do you want this to be?"

I glanced at Zach and he nodded back, "This is all you, babe. I'm here
regardless."

"If I say anything, it's just his word against mine."

"Yeah, but he's being paid. However, any hint of a sex scandal may hurt
future work. It's hard to tell but with this sort of thing, I like to be
really aggressive on the denial side."

Ben spoke up, "Honestly, it's not a problem. It's a two, maybe three, day
story if we make something out of it. However, spiking this might dissuade
others from coming out," he glanced over at Jimmy who nodded, "so if you're
not too embarrassed, I'd be down with correcting the record. What's the
girlfriend going to say?"

"I don't know, but Jas is a badass person and we still talk. I'll reach out
to her."

"OK, then for now we're going forward with real details when we get called
for comment."

"Yeah, I'm not ashamed of my past in any way, Jimmy, and I've had a lot of
fun. I'm not going to run from some bullshit like this."

Jimmy smiled, "I really like working for you, kid!"

The rest of the meeting wasn't nearly as eventful and Zach gave up control
of his social media as well, something Jimmy wanted to do for him. Once
more, it struck me how well they got on. I knew they would hit it off, I'd
told Zach enough about him that he was really thinking of him as a natural
ally. But what I was seeing wasn't that, they were homies now.

By 3, we were back at the airport boarding for our return to SFO. I was
already thinking about how different things would be leaving from San Jose
and honestly looking forward to it. I'd only been through there once but it
had been a nice experience, far less busy and crowded.

As the plane took off, I looked over at Zach who asked "What?"

"You and Jimmy acted like you knew one another. I really thought you'd need
some time to warm up to each other, but it was like an instant connection
right from the moment you first saw each other, and you don't normally do
that."

"Mmhmm... Yeah, we have something in common."

I smiled, "What? Me?"

"No," replied smoothly, "though there is that. An alpha knows an alpha when
he sees one. It's mutual respect, one Man to another."

I just stared at him, then he turned to look at me directly. I saw that
predator look in his eyes and I smiled.

"Don't do that. You know that freaks me out."

"Yeah, just wanted to give you a taste," he said with a wink. "Jimmy's a
warrior and there's nothing we won't do to protect those who are important
to us. That's what I got. You can call it alpha or whatever, but that's who
we are and like sees like. No need to compete, there's just respect."

"Wow, I had no idea," I responded, "Is there anyone else you..."

"Another warrior? No. Ben's as close as anyone's ever gotten, but I knew
when we were sophomores, he was different than me. He's strong as hell,
physically and emotionally, but he's not like me." He looked out of the
portal, "There was one fake," he said, his voice trailing off.

"Who?"

"Joaquin. I honestly thought he was like me. That's what made me fall. It
wasn't Ben and Chels who wrenched me free of him, it was what he did at one
point that finally showed me who he was."

He looked back at me, tears falling from his eyes, and continued, "I love
them so much and they worked so hard, I let them think they were the ones
that finally pulled me back, but they weren't. That last weekend, I saw him
be a coward and the illusion came crashing down. I knew who he was and I
walked away."

"But I thought he manipulated you and played on old insecurities?"

"He did later, but that's how he pulled me in. The rest was keeping me from
truly seeing him. I was stupid and thought I saw it in him, then he twisted
it all up and used me, sinking deeper and deeper. When the illusion was
shattered there was nothing to hold me. It all fell apart. I remember
leaving his place and I punched him hard in the gut, then told him never to
reach out to me again or I'd kill him."

"So, when you told me you handled Joaquin, you meant it. He REALLY
understood what you meant."

Zach nodded, "There's no chance he'd ever come close to you."

I sat there silently, taking all this in. I suspected I was the only one
around him that knew the reason he was so protective of us. We were part of
his tribe. He viewed us all as part of his larger responsibility, the
community around him. His need for justice, to see wrongs righted, suddenly
made so much more sense.

"What? Say something, please?"

"Babe, it's fine." I calmly explained what I'd just realized and he smiled
broadly.

"Yeah," he replied softly. "I should have shared all this with you sooner,
but it's been hard to really explain in a way that doesn't come across
self-serving or aggrandizing. Plus, there's been getting back to who I am
with you in my life."

I leaned over to kiss him, "I understand."

He shifted himself in the seat and looked directly at me, then softly said,
"I need you to know, no matter what, you're my priority. Now, tomorrow,
always."

I smiled back at him and just nodded. I already knew this.

Before Thanksgiving, Zachs meeting with his therapist ended up being an
inflection point in our relationship that I didn't completely understand
until months later. David had told me I needed to be clearer with him and I
had been, but I'd never explained it the way his therapist did that day.

Zach was strong and being with him required some acceptance of
that. Fortunately, it had been mostly easy but those first few months,
until we got past his insecurities, were tough. After, what had developed
within him, was a rock-solid understanding of just how much I'd opened up
to him. I could be indecisive but a big piece of that was just taking time
to think things through. Once I was committed, there would be no turning
back.

I'd made a lot of decisions with regard to Zach, including opening myself
up completely and metaphorically handing him my heart. He'd not really
understood it, or me, until that Tuesday afternoon and even then he was
only scratching the surface regarding how dramatically he could change my
life, for better or worse. I think going to Texas for the trial was when it
all connected in his head. Only then did he realize how much I'd given him
and the power he had. That last statement was an acknowledgment of that,
and a promise that he would never abuse it.

Now everything about him made sense a broader context, especially his
impressive performance today. I also realized something he didn't, that he
was very wrong regarding being my `supporting man'.

He was going to make a much bigger impact in the world than I would,
especially when he started seeing others as part of his tribe and I knew,
without a shadow of a doubt, at some point that would extend to everyone in
a Congressional district and get larger from there.

I sat back in the seat, closed my eyes, and allowed myself to dream about
the future.

ZACH

We got back around 5, then rushed to our respective homes to get ready. We
were graduating in a week and Chels was having a party tonight that there
was no way either of us could miss because of the very real threat of
physical harm. I wasn't too worried about what she'd to do me, but she
could really mess up Tate.

After I got ready, I quickly drove over to pick him up. In a week we'd be
in our own place and I couldn't wait, though he'd be leaving for Louisiana
almost as soon as we got everything unpacked. He would, however, be
returning to OUR place when he was done and that prospect made my chest
warm.

I knew this summer was going to be busy for him and I'd made plans to keep
myself occupied when he'd be away. I was up to 278 and I knew if I kept
working, I could get over 280 by the time we started two a days. I wanted
to pour as much energy as I could into that, and the classes I was taking
this Summer.

My father had given me some solid advice and I decided on the coterminal
program in Electrical Engineering. With some hard work, I'd be graduating
in four and a half years with my bachelors and masters in EE, then on to
law school. It was the path that gave me options, from management at a
semiconductor company to patent litigator to investment banker. It was the
latter I'd begun to think about more and more since it had not only high
earning potential, but it would expose me to a wide variety of interesting
problems where I could shine.

I got to his house a little after 8 and his mother let me in. I went up to
his room to find him toweling dry, just out of the shower.

He looked at me and smiled apologetically, "I started talking to my mom and
I lost track of time. She's all excited about how well the movie is doing."

I laughed, "Don't worry, baby," I told him, crossing over to him and
kissing him softly. "My parents were the same way. They're actually going
to see it tonight with the twins."

"No joke?"

"They're really excited about it. My mom's been dying to see it and so have
the twins. Romance movies aren't really my father's cup of tea, but he's
pretty excited to see his future son in law on the screen."

Tate laughed, "I really hope they like it. I also hope Chelsea doesn't kill
us for being so late."

"She won't. As long as we're there before 10 we're fine."

"Are you hungry? I'm starving," he said.

"Well, you know me, I can always eat." I replied with a smile.

He walked over to me, nude and wrapped his arms around me, and I cupped his
head to give him a kiss that would make him weak. After almost a year
together, I could still make him lose it.

"Take me to Carl's Jr?" he purred out. Only then did I understand as there
was no way, naked, I would tell him no.

I sat and watched him dress, trying desperately not to get too worked
up. It didn't matter what he did, he was gorgeous. Some people are just
like that, everything they do makes them look good. I'd not seen it, but I
had a feeling I'd think he was hot even when he took a shit.

When he was done, he was stunning as always in a white button down and a
pair of jeans. Even dressed simply, he would turn heads and once more made
the point without even trying that I was the luckiest man on the planet.

We talked to his mom briefly and I asked when she was going to see the
movie. She looked at Tate, beaming, "He's taking me to see it tomorrow
afternoon."

"You're going to love it," I told her, gripping Tate's hand just a little
more tightly. This was a big deal for him and for her, and while I had a
pang of jealousy since I wasn't included, I also understood this was
something mother and son needed to do together. While we were family, she
would always play a very important role in Tate's life and I respected
that, and her, enough to know any jealousy here was not only misplaced, it
was stupid.

We ended up eating in the restaurant with two other people while the drive
through was a line around the place. The best part was that we didn't get
noticed, we just sat there eating, him enjoying the food and me, well,
enjoying being with him. Honestly, as much as I complain about Carl's Jr.,
I'd eat every meal there if it made him happy.

The party was another matter entirely. Chels had invited a bunch of people
and it was at a hotel in San Jose. The place was off the hook and they were
apparently empty enough that no one was going to complain. We didn't make
it to elevator before a sophomore Tate knew came up and drunkenly slurred,
"Your movie was awesome!"

The movie, not our graduation, was THE topic of conversation. About 20
people had seen it that afternoon and now, live and in person, the star
walks in.

I went to grab us drinks while his fans mobbed him and ran into Chels.

"You made it! How was LA?"

I groaned, "The after party was fun, but the rest was work."

She rolled her eyes, "Stop, you had a good time."

I shrugged, "I was with him. I could have a good time doing taxes as long
as it was with him."

"I'm going to see the movie tomorrow with the girls, do you want to go?"

I shook my head, "Nah, I've seen it twice now and I want to let some time
pass before I see it again."

Ben walked up at that point and gave me a hug, "Your boy's movie was
AWESOME!"

"Well, go tell him!"

He smiled, "I'm waiting for his adoring fans to clear out." I looked over
to where I'd left him and he looked up, winking at me.

"Speaking of, I need to get him a drink."

Chelsea asked what I wanted and she handed me a beer and made him a bourbon
and club soda.

"Hey, go easy on the bourbon!"

Chels laughed, "Yeah, I guess you don't need to get a sure thing too
liquored up!"

I walked the drinks back over and handed it to him as he told the story
about what he did every day during filming. Very few people had been aware
he was filming a movie when it was going on, Tate was just really well
contained that way. It took people by surprise that he'd done all this and
been at school every day, perfectly normal. Chad Miller, one of the people
who'd been tacky about Tate going to SJS, was really curious about how much
he was going to make and Tate just brushed him off.

"My agent negotiated a percentage of the gross, but I don't really think I
can talk about it." Chad wasn't really satisfied with that answer, but Tate
wasn't giving him any ground. After the crowd broke up a bit, I asked him
about it.

"Why didn't you just tell him? It would have felt good to rub his face in
the fact that you're going to make more off this movie than he'll probably
make before he's 40."

Tate smiled tightly, "He's a bitch. He doesn't deserve to know anything
about our life or work. Wondering about it will kill him far more than
actually knowing because he thinks he's so superior anyway." When he talks
that way, which doesn't happen often, I have an overwhelming desire to get
on my knees blow him!

Ben walked up and gave him a hug, "Tate, you were incredible!"

Tate laughed, "WERE? Oh, you mean in the movie?"

Ben smiled, "Smartass! You've been around Zach too long!"

Tate smiled, "Seriously, thank you for that. I wasn't sure if people would
like it."

"I loved it, man, and I usually don't like romantic movies." He moved in a
little closer to Tate, "So the guy in it with you, he's straight?
Because... I'd REALLY like to hit that."

I started laughing, "VERY straight, hermano! Not on our team, not even our
team adjacent!"

"Damn, dude's a piece of ASSS!"

Tate laughed, "He's actually a pretty nice guy, too, but super straight."

I hadn't told Tate about Tommy's bullshit the night before at the
afterparty because he really loved the guy and I wasn't about to jack that
up for him. We left the party close to 2 and I drove him home, then walked
him to the door to give him an amazing good night kiss.

I drove home to the house I'd live in for another week and went to bed with
a giant smile on my face thinking about the man I loved.

TATE

We decided to go into San Jose to see the movie, thinking that we'd be a
little stealthier, and picked a theater in Saratoga. I was wearing a hoodie
and a ball cap, trying to hide as much as possible, head down and trying to
look ordinary. When I came downstairs, my mother laughed and asked if that
was what I was really wearing.

"Mom, people recognized me in LA at the airport. If I don't at least try to
dress down, someone will before we see the movie and the theater will
afterward. I want this to be time with you, not you and fans."

She sighed, walking over to me and grabbed my hands, "Sorry, sweetheart, I
should have realized and thank you for that. This is going to be a change
hanging out with my son the celebrity!"

I laughed, "Well, as long as you're good, we might get ice cream later, my
treat."

I drove since I was pretty sure no one was going to recognize my Prius
among the 90,000 of them in the South Bay. I was a little nervous because
this was my mom. She was the one who introduced me to the original version
of this movie. Her opinion of how I performed would matter to me more than
any other.

Mom had already purchased tickets online so we walked in and picked up some
popcorn and sodas, something SHE loved. She couldn't watch a movie in a
theater without a bucket of popcorn the size of a stock pot. We were
running about 10 minutes early and sat down, quietly chatting while we ate
the greasiest popcorn known to man.

I noticed a couple of people glancing at us, but none of them came over to
say anything and then the lights went down as the previews started. I
turned my cap backwards and watched myself again. Several times my mother
leaned over and said, "You're so good!" By the end of it, I was beaming
because she liked it.

I forgot to turn my cap around when we left and as we walked out of the
theater, we ran into three guys one of whom had glanced at us before the
movie started.

"That's him! I told you," he told the others who looked more closely at me
and I could see their eyes go wide. I thought, for maybe a second, about
brushing it off but realized it was dumb. I needed to be able to deal with
this head on.

They hurriedly walked over to us and I quickly said, "I'm supposed to be
incognito!" with a smile as I extended my hand.

"OMG you were amazing!" they all blurted out as they shook my hand.

"Thank you," I replied smiling.

"What are you doing HERE of all places?"

"He wanted to take his mother to see the movie he made," my mom replied,
waving.

"That is soooo cool. Can we get a selfie with you?"

I looked over at my mom and she nodded, beaming.

"Sure"

I was surprised one of them had a stick in their pocket and 90 seconds
later they had a picture of us all posted and tagged. We said our good
byes, talked to a few other people on our way to the car, then as soon as I
got in, I texted Jimmy to give him a heads up.

"I want ice cream," my mother calmly said as I started the car.

"That's it? No comment on the movie?"

She laughed, "It was fantastic and you were absolutely brilliant in it. I
was very impressed. Now, I do want I cream."  I smiled and said to my
phone, "OK, Google, where is the closest Baskin Robbins?"  And about 5
minutes later, we were standing in front of the counter deciding on ice
cream. After we were served by the coolest ice cream guy ever, we sat down
and started eating.

"You know this place isn't too far from where we'll be living."

"Oh," she replied, around a mouthfuck of chocolate. "let's drive by on our
way back!"

I smiled, "You're actually excited by the prospect of me leaving, aren't
you?"

She couldn't help but return my smile, "I love you and if you ever need a
place to go, you will always have a key. BUT, yeah, I'm REALLY OK with you
and Zach being together and out of my hair," she finished, laughing.

"Have we been that obnoxious," I asked, innocently.

She shook her head, "Not at all, it's just that it's a constant thing and
there's a lot that I KNOW goes on and I'd like to have that go on somewhere
else. Seriously, I love you both, but I'm happy you'll be in your own
place. Plus..."

"Plus? There's a plus?"

She nodded, "Yeah, I'm going to start dating again and I'm looking forward
to being able to have someone over for dinner without introducing them to
my son before I even know if I like them."

"I get it," I told her, nodding. "So, anyone you're thinking about in
particular?"

"Yep, and when it's time for him to meet you, I promise I will give you the
background. Right now, I'm going to let it be."

"OK, if you don't feel like you need my approval," I said, which made her
laugh.

I noticed two guys had come in and one of them kept looking at us. I could
tell they weren't together by the way they sat at the table and talked; I
assumed they were friends. I hesitated, initially, then thought fuck it and
looked at the one who kept glancing and smiled, nodding. His eyes lit up
and he quietly told his friend what was going on.

The guy looking at me finally walked over, standing about 3 feet away. I
looked up at him and asked "Can I help you?"

He stood there, nervously, "You're Tate Douglas, right?"

"Yes," I replied.

He stuck out his hand, "I really wanted to thank you for what you wrote
about being assaulted. It was the first time since I was that I felt like
someone understood," he said as tears started to fall.

I quickly rose and hugged him. It was just for a moment, but I could feel
him relax as he let go of the tension that had been holding him up. His
friend walked over.

"Joey, are you OK?"

Joey pulled away from me, nodded at his friend, wiped at his eyes, then
smiled at me, "Sorry I'm such a mess!"

I smiled back, my own tears still wet on my cheeks, "No, you're fine and
you're going to make it."

He turned to his friend, "Sorry, Mike."

"It's OK, man." Mike extended his hand to me, "I'm Mike Reeves and it's a
pleasure to meet you. Your story has been a big help for a lot of us who
have been the victims of sexual assault."

"That's exactly what I had hoped it would do. That was the whole reason I
did it."

"Well, thank you for that." He glanced over at my mother and I realized I'd
not introduced her.

"This is my mother, Beverly Edelman," which prompted her to stand and shake
hands with the two men.

"Your son means a lot to many of us," Joey told my mother.

She smiled, nodding, "I think he's pretty great, too!" glancing over at me
and winking.

Mike nodded, "Hope you both have a great weekend," then he grabbed Joey and
they walked back to their table. We sat back down, finished our ice cream
and left. The whole thing had been pretty emotional, but I wasn't freaked
out or feeling weird.

When we got back to the car, my mother hugged me before we got in.

"You OK?" she asked, looking at me appraisingly.

"Yeah, I'm OK. I just found out something I did resonated with exactly the
people I had hoped would get it. I'm shook up, but in a good way."

"I'm really proud of you, sweetheart!" she said, smiling up at me. There
are few things that will ever top that moment.

On the way home, Zach called with an interesting suggestion.

"Why don't I bring food and we stay in tonight?"

I looked over at mom who just smiled.

"That sounds so good, baby!" I replied.

I heard him sigh, "Everything OK?

"Yeah, everything is great. I do have a story for you when you come over."

"Cool... I love you, baby!"