Date: Thu, 31 Aug 2023 19:10:59 +0000 (UTC)
From: Don Cornelius <doncornelius69@yahoo.com>
Subject: Heartbeat, Chapter Nine

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities between the story and reality
are purely coincidental. Please contact the author at doncornelius69 AT
yahoo DOT com. Copyright 2023

Please take a moment to donate to Nifty. Your contributions keep the
archive going. https://donate.nifty.org/

Authors Note – Thank you all for the emails and I am sorry about the
delay in getting this out. Life's been a bit hectic!


Chapter 9

My cousin was a really smart guy, but he was annoying.

He couldn't help that he was socially awkward, but he could help how it
combined horribly with his desire to aggressively punch above his
weight. He wasn't as cute as he thought, and this led him to constantly
harass women with whom he had no chance, completely ignoring those who
actually were interested. Normally, this wouldn't matter much to me since
when we talked, I mostly tuned out his tales of dating woe and I could get
away with it since we were a continent apart. Now, face to face, there was
no way I could play a game while he droned on.

This wasn't the first time we'd spent Christmas together. His mother, mom's
sister, lived about 10 minutes away from my grandfather in West Palm Beach
and we usually spent every other Christmas here. Now, with the divorce,
this would be permanent Christmas. I was really happy we were here even if
it meant having to put up with Jaime and his aspirational dating.

We arrived Thursday afternoon after an almost 6-hour flight that left early
in the morning so we didn't get to Florida too late. I'd napped on the
plane so I was pretty well rested but nothing could have prepared me for
Jaime. He'd often taken me with him to parties when we were younger since I
was a pretty good wingman and tonight wasn't going to be any different
except that we were going to a place in Palm Beach, which would be
saturated with what he called `high value targets', like a dork. The place
was a hangout for the beautiful people, and somehow, he'd scammed his way
in.

Over dinner, he and my grandfather listened patiently while I recapped what
happened with an assist from my mother. That I was disappointed was
impossible to hide. While I knew Derick would have to stand trial for
raping Eddie, he would never be tried for what he did to me, let alone
punished. It wasn't fair and it made me mad. I knew I'd have to deal with
it at some point, I just didn't know when or how it would come out.

After dinner, we left in Jaime's car and tore over to Palm Beach. The club
was, in a word, intense. It reminded me of a place I'd been to in Milan and
I actually recognized some people, including a girl from New York who was
in college and had interned for MarcAllen. When I walked for him the
previous year in New York, she'd been assigned to me and we got along
well. Thankfully, she also seemed to like my cousin.  I let Jaime do his
imitation of a charming student while I had fun with a friend named Anthony
Iannace whom I'd met working for Prada. He was in Palm Beach with a very
wealthy lady friend who was just out of school and pretty cool, despite
obviously being ultra mega rich.

Working in fashion, you get used to being around people who can buy things
like a skyscraper or an island. You `deal' with it, mostly by acting
unimpressed and more than a little annoyed by them. The rich I can deal
with; the UM rich can be real dicks because no one ever tells them no. It's
pure entitlement, a total lack of care for other people, they are all that
matters.

We found a booth populated by underaged and overprivileged kids, then told
them to fuck off. I hadn't seen Anthony in almost a year, since right
before the attack, so we had a lot to catch up on. His girlfriend
recognized me even before Anthony got a chance to introduce us.

"I can't believe he knows you and didn't say anything!" She said, irritated
at his lack of disclosure.

I smiled, "Well, in his defense, I'm like an F level celebrity and he lives
on another continent."

"Oh, do not cut him slack. He keeps up with news in the US."

Then Anthony piped up, "You know, we do have internet access in Turin."

I laughed, "Yeah, but you have to actually use it."

"You're mad over email? I do not read email."

Which was the truth. His agent would text him things or send him crap on
WeChat.

"Not mad, but it would have been nice to know you were in going to be in
the US."

"Yes, but I thought with you in California, it would not have
mattered. What are you doing in Florida?"

"My grandfather," I responded, "lives in West Palm Beach." That elicited
`oohs' from Anthony and Grace. Then she asked what had happened with `the
man who attacked you' and I got really uncomfortable. I told them the bare
bones version, desperate to get past this topic which I was still emotional
about.

Having to pull back the charges had been unsettling and it just happened a
few days before.  I was still raw and even talking about it with family
wasn't comfortable. This was far less so.

Anthony kept pressing for details and I excused myself and calmly went to
find a server, giving Grace time to clue him in. When I returned with
someone, we all decided on a bottle of vodka and some champagne (nothing
like a cocktail of the two for anxiety).

"It's fine if you don't..."

"No, I think it might help but I REALLY want to have a drink or two inside
me before I start the story."

As we waited, Anthony talked about a mutual friend who was going to film a
movie in the spring. He'd run into him at JFK earlier in the week.

"They're still looking for someone to play his lover, and I bet you'd be
perfect," he said, smiling.

I laughed, "There's no way I'm going to play Tommy's lover. I can't believe
someone would cast him as a gay man."

"I think it is less about orientation and more about The Look," Anthony
said, which made me laugh. Tommy Johannsen wasn't like us; he was a sports
model. Our worlds intersected, but they rarely overlapped. He was beefy,
and I don't mean fat. He was smaller than Zach but he was thickly muscled
and good looking. He was also VERY straight, thus my comment about him
playing a gay man.

Grace piped up at that point, "I've seen some of your interviews. I think
you'd be an amazing actor."

I really didn't know how to take that, but decided it was best treated as a
compliment.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, but I made a decision to take the year
off so I'm stuck as a high school student and nothing more until the end of
May."

Anthony smiled deviously, "You're still sticking with the restriction of
your mother?"

"Yeah, Anthony, I am," I replied. "My mom was right. I needed some time. I
wasn't dealing with the attack by working more. I needed help."

"That is fair," he told me. "But know you are missed. There will be people
very happy to see you return."

I decided at that point to launch into the story, thinking I'd push it out
of the way quickly. They were both shocked at how things had turned earlier
in the week.

I shrugged, "It's Texas and it's a very red area where his father is a big
donor. It surprised me but it wasn't unpredictable."

"What are you going to do?" Grace asked.

"I'm going to help out the other guy he raped. He's going to be punished
for what he's done, that much I'm going to see through to the end."

About that time Jaime walked up with Suzanne and, to my considerable
relief, the conversation shifted to random things, from the state of
American fashion vs Italian fashion to which country had the best coffee.

Jaime and Suzanne were having a great time and there was no way Anthony and
Grace were going to drive me back over the bridge (`It's simply not donnne,
you understand'), so I called an Uber and left about 12:15. I was in bed at
1 when I called my other half to say hello. I'd sent him a text earlier to
let him know we'd arrived safely, a stupid thing for me to do since I knew
he was tracking the flight. This call was for me because I needed to see
him.

"HEEEEY!" I heard, but didn't really see him, just the roof of the truck
and then, suddenly, I saw Kim. "How's Florida?"

I laughed, "Not bad. I ran into some people I knew from work while out with
my cousin."

"Ohhh, some work people? What did you guys discuss?" I'd met Kim Tuesday
night at Zachs and was immediately overwhelmed by her. We had a lot in
common and got along really well. The only thing she didn't like was my
modelling. I suspected it was because it made me a target but she didn't
come out and say that.

I laughed, "Gossip mostly... you know, who's doing whom and with what. We
also discussed a mutual who is going to be in a movie."

"What's that about a movie, babe?" I heard Zach ask.

"A friend of mine has been cast in one."

"Oh, that's cool. What are you doing now," he asked.

"Getting ready to go to bed. It's after 1 here. What are you guys doing?"

Now back to Kim, "He's taking me into the city to a club I like. We hung
out with the fam tonight so it's time for a little party!"

I laughed, "Well, have fun and give Zach a kiss for me."

"HEY, hold on! I'll call you in about 10 minutes when we get parked," he
said, loudly.  "OK, babe, I'll wait for you."

I hung up and played with my phone a bit, waiting for him to call. I
thought about what Anthony had said tonight, about Tommy's movie and
realized I actually kind of liked the idea of being in a movie. I sent
Tommy a short email to say congratulations.

As I was doing that, Zach called and I answered with "Hey!"

"Hey? The fuck? You've already forgotten about me?" he asked, with feigned
concern which made me laugh.

"You know it. Where are y'all heading?"

"A bar where some of her friends are going to be in the Haight. I'm
designated driver..."

"I told you I'd order for you!" I heard her say in the back ground.

"Yeah, we'll see," he replied to her, then to me, "So what was the thing
about the movie?"

I sat up a bit in bed, "Anthony, the friend I ran into, told me a mutual
had been cast in a movie. I don't really know much more than that."

"Sounds cool."

"Well, I'm sure it is. I sent an email to congratulate him. I'm sure he'll
tell me all about it when the responds."

"How's Florida?"

I sighed, "Warmer. More humid, but it's nice. Jaime's not as amped up or at
least he wasn't tonight. Oh, and granddaddy made me promise to tell you hi,
so `hi'."

I could hear the smile on his face as he responded, "Tell him hi back,
please!" He and my grandfather had become surprisingly close over
Thanksgiving.

"I will," I yawned out.

"I miss you already," he said.

"I know, I miss you, too. We're going to have to figure this out longer
term."

"Well, I'll go with you and then we can come back and do Christmas with my
family."

I snorted, "So you've figured it all out, have you?"

"Yep. Don't worry about a thing, I'm all over it!"

I could hear noise picking up in the background.

"It sounds like you're there so I'll let you go."

"I love you," he said, his voice making clear the truth of his words. It
made me smile.

"I love you, too."

I fell asleep thinking of him and Kim having a blast together and wishing I
was with them. Not to be a melodramatic teen, but it was hard being apart
during the holidays. I knew we were going to be in Florida for Christmas,
we'd planned that before we left Texas, but it never really connected to me
until we were leaving this morning that I really wanted to stay in
California with him, which conflicted with my very real need to connect
with my extended family.

While I was melancholy, I also realized this was going to be the only
Christmas we'd be apart from now on.

ZACH

Partying with Kim is wild. She's a force nature and she's always on
point. While she was having a good time, there were subtle things I
noticed, like that she refused free drinks and wouldn't leave a drink
unattended. She did have to use the bathroom once and left half a drink on
the table. When we she came back, she started to order another until I
pointed out she had half of one already. She looked at me with a smile and
subtly shook her head, no.

`No. I'm not drinking that because it's not been in my possession the
entire time'.

That's what she was telling me with that shake of the head and I got it
instantly.

A few of her friends complimented me on how I'd grown up and on Tate. One
of them was a woman who made me promise that if there was ever an
opportunity for a woman to join us, we'd call her first.

We got home about 2 and raided the kitchen in a feeding frenzy. Kim made
queso and we gorged on it and chips while watching Gremlins. It was really
nice to be with her. I got along with all my siblings, but Kim and I were
really close and seeing her happy again made me really happy.

"So, you seem pretty sold on Tate," she said, leaning back.

I smiled, "Is this the part where you tell me he hit on you or something?"

"No, you goof, I'm just asking. This thing between the two of you, it's
legit?"

I sighed, "It's as real as it gets. I love him."

She got a little teary, "I'm so glad, Zach! You deserve it."

"What about you?"

She broke into a wide smile, but cast her eyes down.

"What? You can tell me!"

She finally met my eyes, "It's too new. It's a guy I met in a sociology
class and I really like him. We just had The Talk right before Halloween."

"Oh my God, that's why you suddenly had to stay at school for
Thanksgiving?!?"

She giggled a bit, "Yeah, kinda sorta. He doesn't have any family. Parents
died when he was a kid and the grandmother who raised him passed his first
year in school. He didn't have anywhere to go."

"So, you stayed there with him? Why didn't you bring him here, mom would
have loved it."

She sighed, "It's too new for me. He's been through a lot and he knows what
I've been through. We're going easy with each other and it's just too early
for family."

"So where is he now?"

"He is in Cabo with some other folks and I'm flying to him on the 30th."

I laughed, "So that's why you have to leave on the 30th! That's fire!"

"Right? New Years in Cabo!"

"I'm happy for you, but ... am I going to like him?"

She popped a chip into her mouth, "I honestly don't know. I know Tate
will."

"Yeah, but that doesn't count. Tate gets along well with everyone."

"Yes, you'll like him because he loves me."

"Wow. The L word already?"

"He says he actually fell for me during the summer, but that he finally got
the courage to do something about it just this semester."

I thought about my own life and falling for Tate.

"What are you thinking about?"

I smiled, "How I felt meeting Tate for the first time."

She smiled, "Yeah, and I'm falling for him. I'm pretty excited about this
trip. It's the first time we've gone somewhere together."

"Well, bring him home for a long weekend next semester. I'd like to meet
the guy who makes you smile."

"That's sweet. You'll like him, Darren did."

I almost choked on my drink, "Darren's met him?"

"I KNEW that would get you. Yeah, he came for a visit back in November
before Thanksgiving."

I couldn't believe it. We'd talked about Kim when he was here and he never
said a word.

"Well, good to know he can keep a secret should the need arise."

She smiled back at me, nodding, "In his defense, I asked him to. I wanted
to talk to you about it directly."

"Well, I'll give you a pass this time."

We cleaned up the kitchen, the parted to our bedrooms for the night. I was
still feeling good and thought about calling Tate but realized it would
still be really early in the morning there and thought better of it. I sent
him a bursting heart emoji so he'd have something from me when he woke up.

Happily, that prompted him to send me a video that kept me in bed a little
longer than I'd intended when I finally woke up.

TATE

I had some last-minute shopping to do and my grandfather let me use one of
his cars to run to a nearby mall. There was a coat I'd seen at Nordstrom
that would be perfect for my mother. I also thought it would be the perfect
gift for her since we'd been in a hurry to leave the day before and she'd
walked out of the house without even thinking about a coat.

I also needed a reason to get out of the house. Mom was catching up on some
last-minute work stuff and my grandfather was tending to his nonsense. I
was bored and ended up wandering around The Gardens. After Nordstrom, I
also picked up a pull over and some cool shoes for my grandfather. Now, I
was just window shopping and not really paying attention to much of
anything. That's when I realized I was hungry so I stopped for lunch at
Shake Shack.

As I was taking my third bite, my phone went off with a call from Tommy
Johannsen. I stopped for a second, put down the burger, and rejected the
call with a message.

`Lunch. Call you back in 10?'

A few seconds later I got back one word, `Sure'.

I finished eating, not wanting to rush, and then put in my pods to call
Tommy who answered on the second ring.

"Thank you for calling me back!"

"Of course, Tommy! I'm sorry I couldn't catch you when you first called,
but I figured you weren't calling to hear me chew."

He laughed, "Nah, but I would have dealt with it."

"So what's up?" I asked, having a feeling I knew based on my conversation
with Anthony the previous night.

"Well, I talked to Ant," he always referred to Anthony as Ant because he's
a dudebro, "and he mentioned he ran into you last night and told you about
the movie."

Oh, really, I thought to myself.

"Yeah, small world, right? I couldn't believe I'd run into him in Florida
of all places. I sent you an email congratulating you on the movie, didn't
you get it?"

He laughed, "I did. That's why I called Ant to see if he thought the same
thing. How much did he tell you about the movie?"

I sighed as I already knew where this was going and I wanted no part of
it. Sincerely, I wanted to model and be left alone. It was already
uncomfortable being noticed occasionally (like the salesperson at Nordstrom
earlier that day) and I had no idea how I'd deal with it if I was in a
movie that was successful.

"He told me you were cast in one and I thought it was funny since you're
not, you know..."

"Gay?" he responded.

"Yeah. I mean, I know you're not a freak but you're still straight and it's
going to be hard to pull off."

"That's why I need someone I've got some chemistry with; someone I know and
I know I can trust."

"Tommy, that's sweet as hell, but I'm not an actor. I'm just a model and
don't know the first thing about acting."

"No, I know you and I know you can do this with just a little coaching from
the director. Let me send you the script. Just read it and let me know what
you think, OK?"

I groaned, "Tommy, you're killing me, man!"

"Please? I promise you'll be happy you did."

"OK," I said, softly, finally accepting defeat far too easily.

"Bomb.com! I'll send it you right now," he replied excitedly while his
phrasing made me wince.

"I'll read it and let you know," and I hung up, then exhaled deeply. I
hadn't committed to do anything other than read the stupid script and
figured I'd do that over the holiday and then let him down gently the next
week.

I got back to the house about 2 and decided I needed a little nap. It was
Friday and Jaime had already texted about going to a party Suzanne knew
about. I woke up and checked my phone to see an email from Tommy.

I opened the script and quietly started reading. He was right, it was
good. Whoever wrote it really did an amazing job and I felt myself being
sucked in. I was on page 78 when my mother came into the room and told me
dinner would be ready in 15 minutes. That's when I looked at the clock on
the nightstand and realized it was 7. I'd been reading for hours.

"Mom?" I said as she started to walk out.

She turned back to me, and smiled, "Yeah?"

"I'm going to send you something and I want you to read it tonight. I think
it's something good."

"OK, sweetheart."

After dinner I finished the script and forwarded it to my mother. There was
something familiar about the story and I couldn't put my finger on it. We
went to the party which was in a condo in one of the buildings downtown. It
ended up being a lot of fun and far more down to earth than anything on
Palm Beach. Suzanne introduced me to her friends `as THE nicest model she's
ever worked with' and we briefly did a not so tedious Q&A about modeling
that wasn't geared toward how to become one as much as it was just wanting
to hear some funny stories. And I had a lot of those.

The next morning, I got up kind of late to my mother's French toast
casserole, which sounds gross but is really very good. Neither she nor my
grandfather were around so I made myself a plate and sat down to eat at the
table in the kitchen. About 10 minutes later my mother wandered in with her
pad and sat down across from me.

"What's the story with the script you sent me?" she asked.

I swallowed the mouthful I'd been chewing on and responded, "There's a
model I know who has been cast to play Cooper," I told her, referencing one
of the characters in the script. "He was bugging me to read the script and
I finally told him I would."

"That's it? Why forward it to me," she asked, suspicious.

I shrugged, "I don't know, I thought it was a good story and that you'd
like it."

"You were right."

I nodded, "Also, there's something familiar about it that I can't figure it
out."

She sat back in her chair and smiled, "That's because you've never seen it
all the way through."

And suddenly, it dawned on me. "Oh my God, it's Love Story!"

She winked at me, "Yeah. It's a very well written update of it. If the
movie they make out of that script is half as good as the writing, it's
going to be a hit."

"Yeah," I said absently, "I think so, too. I'm going to pass along my
thoughts to Tommy."

"Is that all?"

"Yeah, I just told him I'd read it because he asked me to, presumably
because he wanted my opinion."

She snorted, "Yeah, that's not the whole story..."

I sighed, realizing I should have just been honest with her from go. "He
wants me to play Preston."

"Do you want to?"

I thought for a second, "Yesterday, no."

"And now?" My mom knew me too well.

"After reading it, I'm interested in it. It's a good story and I get why he
sent it to me. He thinks I'd be good in it and so do I."

She leaned onto her elbows as she firmly planted them on the table.

"I think you're right. I'll make you deal. If you can do this without
missing school more than a day a week, I'll allow you to do it."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Why the change of heart on working?" I asked, being one to look the gift
horse in the mouth.

"Because an opportunity like this may not come along again and it's really
perfect for you, almost as if whoever wrote it knew you and had you in mind
for the role. It's also a beautiful story and I think it will make an
incredible movie."

"Ok," I replied, "So what do I do next?"

"Tell your friend you're interested and that he needs to send you contact
information for the producer and director so your agent can reach out."

"Nina can handle this?"

She smiled, "No, but she's getting you an agent who can."

I was shocked, "You already talked to Nina?"

Now it was her turn to shrug, "I took a chance based on an educated guess."

"Which was?"

She laughed, "That I knew my son well enough to know this was something
he'd like to do."

I picked up the phone and texted Tommy.

`OK, I'm in. Please email me contact info for the exec producer and the
director.'

"All done," I said, putting the phone down.

After cleaning up the kitchen, we sat down to watch `Oliver!' My mom got a
call from Nina who was on with my new agent, Ben Rabinowitz. We chatted a
bit and I told him I'd forward the information as soon as I had it from
Tommy.

After the movie I went to get cleaned up and dressed. We were going to my
aunt's house for dinner and before we left, I forwarded the email I got
from Tommy to Ben, my hands shaking just a bit. I knew, deep down, this was
going to be a big deal and I was excited about it because I liked the
script and felt like I could play that part.

Christmas Eve at my aunts was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed the time to
reconnect with my extended family. Jaime kept making me weak drinks since
he was old enough to drink and the adult supervision was very lax. This had
the effect of relaxing me and keeping me from being too anxious. It was
Christmas and I didn't really expect much to happen with Ben.

Christmas Day was at my grandfathers. We unwrapped gifts and then had lunch
around 1:30. After, the kids all got together in the media room and started
a movie one of my younger cousins selected, Big Hero 6. I'd liked it when I
was a kid and was sure the younger kids would as well.

Halfway through my phone shook in my pocket. It was an email from Ben.

"You need to be in LA for a screen test on the 28th. Can you set up or do
you need me to?"

ZACH

Spending the holiday apart ended up being harder on me than I expected. We
were both occupied by our families, as we should have been, but I couldn't
help feeling anxious. I just sensed something was up, though I decided it
was mostly me missing him terribly.

He called the night of Christmas Day and I found out that my uneasiness was
justified.

"Remember that movie I told you a friend was going to be in?" he said, with
just a hint of excitement in his voice.

"Yeah," I replied, hesitantly.

"Well, I read the script and it's actually good. He wants me to play
opposite him, I want to do it, and my mom's OK with it. What do you think?"

I honestly didn't know how to respond. My first thought was `No, I
absolutely don't want you to do that' which I blurted out.

"Oh, OK." He replied softly, clearly not anticipating my response.

"Baby, wait, that's not what I meant. This is your decision."

He cleared his throat and I could tell he was choked up. This hadn't gone
as he'd expected and the excitement was gone from his voice.

"Not entirely. We're together and we have to make decisions about things
that will affect us both together."

I sighed, "We've got a lifetime for that. Right now, this is your decision
and I'm being selfish. I want to keep you to myself," I finished,
overwhelmed suddenly by a tremendous burst of honesty.

"You know I love you, this isn't being insecure, is it?" he asked.

"No, it's not. It's me not wanting to share you. It's stupid because I've
always known you're not with me, I'm with you, but for some reason this
bothers me. It'll pass."

"What do you mean `you're with me'?"

"I don't want to get into it..."

He snorted, "Well, it's too late to avoid it."

I exhaled audibly, "Babe, I realized months ago that the fantasy I had of
taking care of you was puerile because you could take care of yourself. I
also realized I would be along for the ride in our life together. You were
going to lead and do things and I would be there to support you. It wasn't
going to impact what I wanted, but I knew you were going to live a much
bigger life and that I would need to accept that to be with you."

"You've been thinking this for months?"

"Yeah, and I'm OK with it. This is just more sudden than I imagined it
would be."

"But we're together. I had no idea you were thinking that your place was
just to support me. I felt like you wanted to take care of me, but I never
imagined you were feeling this way."

"Oh, you don't need to worry. I want to be with you and part of that is
going to be standing by your side when you do things. This movie is more of
a shock since I thought we'd have more time to just be ourselves."

I could hear him smile over the phone, "You won't have to share me."

"Yeah, I will. I know how this will go, you'll do this thing and we won't
be able to go have dinner without people coming over asking for a selfie or
an autograph."

"I think you're overreacting," he said.

"Tate, think about how..."

"People recognize me occasionally now?"

"Yeah."

"Zach, I know, but I'm telling you it's not going to change because I'm in
some indie movie that'll be seen by like 100 people."

"Tate, quit being glib. It's going to be a lot more than 100 people."

He laughed, "Babe, I'm just trying to make a point that it's not going to
force you to share me."

"I know what you're saying," I told him, "But you're still wrong. I know
you and I know this is going to be a hit."

He paused and I waited, "Are we good," he asked.

"Of course! Tate, I love you. There's nothing you can do to change that. I
may feel a little weird about things occasionally, but loving you is a
constant."

"I need you to say it," he said.

I smiled, "I'm good if this is what you want to do."

"Thank you," he replied.

We spent another 30 minutes talking about things and comparing notes on
Christmas. He also sent me a copy of the script and made me promise to read
it. I also agreed to pick him up at the airport on the 28th when he came
home. By the time we hung up, I felt much better knowing his heart was
still mine. I might have to share the rest of him, but not it.

TATE

The morning of the 28th, my mother and grandfather drove me to the airport
early to catch the flight to LA. I had meetings and a screen test to do,
all worked out and arranged by Ben who was basically a male version of
Nina.

The airport in Fort Lauderdale was extremely busy at 6 am. I'd be landing
in LA around 10 Pacific and someone was going to pick me up there. I was
extremely nervous about this whole trip since it was the first time I'd
done anything like this. Forget the fact that I wanted the role, I'd never
interviewed or tested for a movie and I had no idea what to expect. Ben had
been very barebones in his explanations, just addressing the mechanics of
it all. He was very nice about it, but he was the male version of Nina,
gruff and a dismissive. In his mind, he'd covered the bases well enough and
I'd have to figure out the rest myself which in his opinion was
`naaaaahthing'.

The flight was basically me trying to contain myself. I slept for about an
hour, then read and re-read the script. They wouldn't tell me which scenes
they wanted so I was trying to memorize it as quickly as possible. About
four hours into the flight, somewhere over New Mexico I think, the woman in
the seat next to me asked about the script and my audition.

"How did you know I was auditioning?" I asked, without really thinking it
through.

She smiled, "Well, you're on a nonstop into LA early in the morning and
you're reading what looks like a script with dialog highlighted. I took a
wild guess and landed on `audition'."

I laughed, "Sorry, this is my first time to audition and I'm a little
punchy."

"I'll leave you alone if I can get a selfie with you."

"Sure, but why?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"Because I have a feeling you're going to get the part and when you're a
movie star, I want to be able to tell this story and have proof I'm being
truthful."

I laughed again, "Let's do it."

We took our picture and true to her word, she left me to it and the rest of
the flight passed uneventfully. When got off the plane, I took my phone off
airplane mode and had a text `PLEASE CALL 323-555-1212'. When I called, it
was someone waiting to pick me up. They told me where to go to meet them
and 20 minutes later we were heading to the studio.

When we arrived, I was ushered into an office and offered pastries and
coffee, both of which I took since I was pretty hungry after a six-hour
flight. I chatted with the producer a bit who asked me about my flight to
SFO which was departing at 5 pm and he said there wouldn't a problem
getting me there on time. I'd be alone until my mom came back on the 1st as
she'd decided to spend New Years in West Palm Beach with some of her
friends. I was happy about it and happier still that she trusted me to be
on my own. She was worried about me and I reminded her I'd been
unsupervised on trips for work for years. I knew she felt a pang of
parental responsibility and I also knew she NEEDED some time to unwind and
I was only too happy to let her off the hook on the former.

It goes without saying I was also quite pleased Zach and I would once more
have the run of the house. We'd only been apart about a week, but I'd
missed him terribly. It was like I had this amazing present waiting for me
at home and I was, with each passing day, increasingly excited about the
prospect of playing with it.

About 30 minutes later the director walked in. He was shaggy and unkept in
a meticulous way. This was his second movie to direct and it was a passion
project for him, he told me. He'd started out as a writer and had been
working on this for about 5 years, never actually thinking he'd get it
made, and then he met Tom Hendry, the producer, at a party.

We talked for a while about the script and I realized his vision was close
to what I'd thought, a true love story. He was impressed that I was
familiar with the script and had already thought about how to play the
part.

Not long after, they brought me into a room to do the test. They had
someone from the staff read Tommy's part and we there were two scenes he
wanted me to do. We did the first one straight up and when we were doing
the second, he stopped me and coached me a bit on what his vision was for
the character. I took his direction and we redid it.

After I was done, we went to lunch and then Tom drove me to the airport.

"I have to tell you, we were skeptical when Tommy said he had someone in
mind for Preston. We have two other people who've read for the role, but
when Tommy sent over some of your modelling work, we knew we had to test
you."

"I hope I did well," I responded.

"You did. We'll make the decision in the next few days and let your agent
know."

When I got to the airport, I checked in and quickly called Ben to fill him
on how the day went. I then called my mother with the same news, finding
out she was getting ready to have dinner with `an old friend', which made
me smile.

Before we took off, I texted back and forth with Zach, letting him know
when my flight landed and what time he could come over. The last text was a
cryptic `I have a surprise for you!'

When I landed and turned my phone back on, there was a text from him : call
when you land.

Intensely curious, I did, and was rewarded with his instructions on where
to go so he could pick me up. I had no idea until I got into the truck that
Kim was with him. We went into San Franscisco for dinner and despite being
really tired, I kept up well. They were curious about how things had gone,
so I gave them the broad strokes about the day. Zach was clearly getting
comfortable with the idea of me being in a movie while Kim seemed to
dislike the whole enterprise.

"I really think you should decline it, there's no need for more unnecessary
attention," she declared.

"Kim, I get where you're coming from, but this is something actually I want
to do. It's not just that I know I can do it, I want to do this. It's a
great story and I know it will make an amazing film. I'd really like to be
part of that."

She looked at me and just shook her head as if to say, `you don't see it
now, but you will.'

After, Zach dropped off Kim and he then drove quickly to my house where we
got reacquainted in my bedroom. After, Zach held me as we laid in bed,
talking softly to each other about what we'd been doing and the movie. Zach
was, surprisingly to me given his initial reaction, kind of excited about
the prospect.

"Honestly, I think it's going to be cool. I actually liked the story."

"Are you sure," I asked, turning in his arms to gauge his reaction.

He smiled, then kissed me, "Yeah, I'm fine with it now. I know I was being
stupid and I wasn't thinking it through. This isn't something I get to
decide, this is something you have to do and you deserve the chance. I know
you're going to be great and I just needed to remember what matters."

"Oh? And what is that?"

"That the man I love is happy and he's with me. I don't need anything else
and I don't need to worry about sharing him. We belong to each other and
that's enough."

"Oh, Zach," I said softly, his words and the emotion in them making me feel
amazing as I hugged him tightly and I buried my face in his neck.

We stayed entwined for another 20 minutes before he had to head home. I
didn't put up much of a fight since it had been a long day and I was ready
to sleep in my own bed.

ZACH

Kim and I got up early the morning of the 29th and went to have
breakfast. We decided we needed a little one on one time this AM since I
was going to spend time with Tate and she was heading to Cabo early the
next day. Being together like this was pretty awesome and I hoped that when
school was done, we'd be near one another. I didn't know where Tate wanted
to end up and I had no preference so I decided to ask her.

"Where do you think you'll end up after school?"

"For right now I want to stay in Virginia. Maybe near Georgetown or
Richmond. We've talked about both. Why?"

"Because I was hoping to be closer you, maybe a 4 hour drive rather than a
6 hour flight," I told her.

She smiled, "Zach, nothing would make me happier than to have you two
close, but you haven't even graduated high school yet and you're already
planning your life after college. Much will change over time, just roll
with it."

I grabbed my chest like she'd shot me, "Damn, take it easy on me. I'm just
thinking out loud."

She shook her head, "No, you're not. I know how you are and once you get
stuck on something, getting you off it is a pain in the ass. Don't worry
about it. You and Tate get through school then you can figure out where you
want to go."

The comment was so specific that I was certain I knew who put the idea for
it into her head.

"What did Tate tell you?" I asked, dead serious.

Kim rolled her eyes, "Nothing. He didn't have to; I know how you
are. You're a planner which isn't a bad quality, but when your plan doesn't
work out, you don't adjust easily."

I sat back and realized that Kim had me. She knew me better than anyone and
this disclosure honestly shouldn't have surprised me.

"I'm working on it, if you can believe that," I told her.

"Something Tate demanded?" she asked.

"No, it's all me. Tate doesn't make demands; he loves me too much. He
points out problems and then trusts me deal with them. I don't think he
knows how to demand something."

She stopped eating and just stared at me, "Fuck. I had no idea it was that
serious."

I started to say something but she interrupted me.

"I shouldn't have said that, I know how serious you are about him and
that's not what I meant. What I meant was I had no idea how close the two
of you were. It's much clearer to me now."

I smiled, "Yeah, it's real."

"What brought this on?"

I cleared my throat as I sat back in the chair, and gave her a brief
overview of what happened between us as I ran him over.

"Damn. You are so lucky he loves you."

 "I know. I thought I was going to lose him when we had the talk, that he
was going to tell me, "Hey, this has been fun...". Instead, he talked about
how I'd made him feel and asked me to get some help, to do better. He
didn't want to give up on me, he wanted me to be just a little more
thoughtful."

She smiled, her eyes glistening, "I really did like him, Zach. But now,
after hearing that, I really love him. Please don't let him go."

"I won't," I replied softly. "Life would be really tough for me without
him."

"I'm sure."

I laughed a little as I wiped at my eyes, "You know he can be really bitchy
sometimes! I'm not the only one who needs work!"

She laughed in response, "Yeah, I'm sure he's just terrible!" She then
straightened up a bit. "How are you going to deal with the movie thing?"

I thought for a second, "Well, I've already dealt with it, sort of
badly. Now, I'm adjusted to it and honestly, maybe even a little
excited. Not about the movie, but for him. He wants it and I really think
he'll be amazing."

"Is the script actually good?" she asked.

"Very. It will be hard for it to not be a hit."

She looked tense, "God, it stresses me out even thinking about it."

"You can't let it, Kim. You have to remember that he can make his own
decisions..."

"Sure," she interrupted, "but now he has my brother to think about, too! I
don't want him compromising your safety!"

"He never would and this won't. No matter how successful this movie is,
we'll both be OK. You don't have to worry about us." I hope it would be
enough to shift her from protective older sister back to fun and supportive
older sister.

She shook her head, "I'm not going to fight a battle I can't win. Just be
careful, OK?"

"I will. I promise, and I'll make sure he is as well."

Not long after, we left and went back to the house. We sat down to watch a
movie that both of us fell asleep during. It was Tate's arrival which woke
us up and we began the first of an endless series of card games. I couldn't
have envisioned a better day than the one I had with my family and the man
who'd rapidly become a part of it.

TATE

Zach came over for the weekend after dropping Kim at the airport and he
looked really bummed out. I was expecting a more lascivious version of my
boyfriend and instead got an almost despondent man. I tried not to pepper
him with questions, just asked what he thought was wrong.

"Nothing. There's nothing wrong, I just miss her and when she comes home, I
realize how much I miss her being around all the time. I started to get
anxious yesterday."

"Really? I didn't even notice."

He smiled, "Good, I didn't want anyone to notice. This is just me; I was
like this when you left last week for Florida. I just get a little, I don't
know if I'd call it sad..."

"Melancholy?" I offered.

 "Yeah, that's it. Usually when people leave. I talked to someone about it
and it's pretty normal."

That made me laugh, "Yeah, I think you're very normal. You connect on a
deep emotional level with people you really love. It's natural."

"Oh, thank you, Doctor Tate!" he said, laughing. He then yawned and
stretched, "So what's new about the movie?"

"Nothing. Ben hasn't heard anything and neither have I. I sent Tommy an
email this morning, but no response yet."

"Does Ben think that's a good sign?" he asked.

I laughed, "I asked him that exact question and he texted back," I grabbed
my phone and handed it to him, "Here. You read it."

Zach smiled, "`Sign? What sign? There's nothing. Nothing good, nothing bad,
just nothing.'" He turned to look at me and said, "I can't wait to meet
this guy."

"Well, you may not. I've only been with Nina twice. Once when we first saw
her in Dallas, and again when we had a sort of lunch when I was in New York
for Fashion Week."

"But you were in New York pretty often? You didn't see her more?"

"We were both working."

"That's not strange?"

"Maybe a little, but it works. I know she's doing her job and I don't need
a lot of hand holding. I think she'd be pretty bad at it if she really
tried. I mean, she doesn't even bother with goodbye when she calls."

"Really?"

"No," I said, laughing. "When she's done, the conversation is over and she
hangs up. It was a little strange at first, but now I'm used to it."

At this point, Zach was laughing pretty hard and I realized that was what
he needed.

"I have an idea. We can either spend the day playing video games or we can
go see a movie or some combination of both."

He replied, "What do you want to see?"

I laughed, "Violent Night."

"Oh, come on! You don't really want to see that!"

"Yes, I absolutely do. Then we can go by the store, pick up actual
ingredients, and make dinner together."

He got up, pulling me with him, and hugged me tightly as he said, "That
sounds like an amazing idea."

It was a perfect day for the two of us. The movie was really funny,
including Beverly D'Angelo saying `don't shit in my mouth and tell me it's
chocolate cake'. Zach, despite his initial grumbling, agreed it was pretty
funny.

After, we stopped at Safeway and picked up steaks, potatoes, and greens for
a salad. We spent the next hour prepping and cooking, then sat down to eat
together. It was nice, the perfect end to a day Zach and I both needed. It
gave us a chance to reconnect and remember ourselves.

Later, when we were in bed, he looked over at me with a curious look on his
face.

"What?" I asked.

He broke into a wide grin, "Earlier you said the second time you were with
Nina was during a `sort of lunch'. What does that mean?"

I laughed, "Oh, you would ask about that. It was chicken souvlaki from a
street vendor. I was on my way to get ready for another show and that was
where she wanted to meet. `Best Greek in The City' she said. So, we
ordered, ate, and talked a bit and when we were done, she lit a cigarette
and walked back to her office."

"No shit?"

I looked at him with bugged out eyes, "Do you honestly think I could make
that up?"