Date: Sun, 13 Nov 2011 18:30:28 -0800 From: Jeffrey Venzuela Subject: I Shall Believe - Chapter 16 (Revised) ___________________________________________________________________________ Warning: If you don't tolerate or approve of the gay lifestyle please leave now. This is pure fiction. No one in this story is a real person, living or deceased. Any similarities is just a coincidence. ___________________________________________________________________________ As he drove through the early morning hours to the next town where Jesse had told him he and Ivan were stranded, Michael had plenty of time to think. When he had gotten the call from Ivan's cell phone in the middle of the night he had been surprised but pleased, thinking it was like old times. But the second he had heard Jesse's voice he became worried. Then after Jesse had told him about what had happened, he had become furious. He had almost told Jesse to forget it, but it was Ivan with him so he couldn't abandon him. But he couldn't understand why Ivan would go to a party like that, at least not without taking him and Alex. In the old days he would have insisted that his two best friends come along, but this time he not only went to a party without them, but got high and wasted to boot. Michael knew there was only one person to blame for Ivan's erratic behavior -- Jesse. Michael arrived at the address Jesse had given him. Looking up at the front steps, he saw how Ivan was resting his head on Jesse's shoulder. He bolted out of the car but restrained himself from yelling at Jesse. "Dude, I so owe you one." Jesse said when he recognized Michael walking towards them. Michael didn't even look at Jesse when he said, "This is for Ivan. I wouldn't even have thought of coming here if it weren't for him." He kneeled at Ivan's side and shook him awake. "Hey, buddy." Michael said softly. Ivan groaned sleepily, still not opening his eyes. Jesse snickered at Ivan's reaction. Michael gave him a dirty look and said sarcastically, "I'm glad you find this funny." Jesse raised his hands in surrender. He didn't want to fight with Michael, at least not right now. After all, he was the one who would be giving them a ride home. Michael tried to speak again to Ivan. "Hey, I'm going to carry you on my back. I need you to try hanging on to me, okay?" Ivan nodded his head but still had his eyes closed. It wasn't clear to either Michael or Jesse if Ivan was still asleep or not. Michael crouched in front of Ivan with his back to him. He draped Ivan's arms over his shoulders and picked him onto his back. Jesse watched as Ivan just automatically wrapped his arms around Michael's neck and used his upper back for a pillow. Michael carried Ivan easily towards the car where Jesse opened the door to the backseat. He gently dropped Ivan on the seat and laid him down. "Whose idea was it to go to that party anyway?" Michael asked Jesse who was sitting beside him. Jesse didn't know why but he felt it best to cover for Ivan. "Mine," He said. Michael scoffed and said, "Of course it was. Why did I even ask?" Jesse bit his tongue, reminded himself repeatedly that he needed the ride. Somewhere along the way, he drifted off to sleep. Michael stopped the car when they reached the town square where most of the town's festivities were held. He shook Jesse awake and said, "This is you." Jesse looked around, his eyes still blurry from sleep. "But this isn't where—" Michael cut him off when he firmly said, "You're welcome." Jesse rolled his eyes. "Yeah, thanks." He said in disdain. He was already a few steps from the car when he heard Michael say, "And stay away from Ivan." He turned back towards the car. "What did you say?" He asked, not believing the words he had heard. "I said stay away from Ivan." Michael repeated slowly with a serious look on his face. Jesse chuckled and said, "Yeah, right. Like I take orders from you now." Michael made sure to make it threatening when he said, "I mean it." "I'll leave it to Ivan to make that decision," Jesse said with an equally serious face. He turned around and started walking away. He shook his head with a slight smile on his face. He couldn't believe he had just been threatened like that. Ivan couldn't get up from the bed. He felt like there was a stack of five champion sumo wrestlers on top of him, eating sushi. Why did he have to think about sushi. Just the thought of raw fish made him sick to his stomach. His eyes flew open and he lurched out. The room suddenly started spinning which made it hard to know exactly where he was. But finally he recognized the band posters on the wall and the stereo at the other side of the room. He realized he was at Michael's. Ivan's stomach did a violent somersault and he made his way unsteadily to the bathroom adjoining Michael's room. Upon opening the door, he saw Michael, naked and wet, drying off his hair. Ivan didn't have time to admire his body or even say a word, because he suddenly felt all of his stomach contents rise up. He rushed to the bowl and started throwing up. Once he was done, he felt the hand that was rubbing his back. He looked behind him and saw Michael with the towel just hanging around his neck, leaving all his glory exposed. But his stomach leapt again and he quickly turned back to the bowl and started another round of retching. "I'm that repulsive when naked, huh." Michael joked. Ivan didn't answer, completely distracted by the unpleasant battle going On in his stomach. When it finally seemed like his body was done rejecting everything from his gut, he walked unsteadily to the nearby sink and leaned into it. He took a deep breath, turned on the faucet and rinsed the horrible taste from his mouth. He then washed his face and decided to look at his reflection to see how horrible he must look. Michael was right there behind him staring at the same reflection that looked like hell. "Are you okay, Ivan?" Michael said moving a little closer to Ivan. Not wanting to be quite so close to Michael, he turned around to face him. Immediately he recognized the danger of doing that as he felt his hands brush up against Michael's bare thighs. Ivan raised his hands in the air and said, "I'm sorry but can you cover yourself with that towel or something?" It just came to Michael then that he was still naked. "Oh, yeah. Sorry." He said turning around as he felt his cheeks burn. Ivan slowly walked to Michael's bed and crawled in under the sheet. After a lot of years, he had seen Michael's bare body again. Unfortunately, he didn't have the stomach for it, he thought as he drifted back to sleep. Michael came out of the bathroom now covered with a towel and saw his best friend out cold again on his bed. He went to his dresser and got into some clothes. He had planned to cook breakfast for Ivan right away but considering the obvious turmoil Ivan's stomach was probably still in, he thought he'd give him some more time to sleep it off. He decided to play some soft music on the stereo making sure the volume was low so as not to disturb Ivan. He lay on his bed beside his best friend and thought of random things including his father, school, Alex and Ivan. Before he knew it, he was also asleep. Ivan regained consciousness and the first thing he felt was a pulsing beneath his hand and a familiar scent that he had really missed. It was the scent he smelled of Michael every time he had a dream about him. The scent told him he was in one of those dreams again. But when he opened his eyes and found himself lying on a muscular chest, he looked up and saw Michael, fast asleep. The pulsing beneath his hand was Michael's heart. Ivan smiled and thought how his dreams just kept getting better each time. He sighed contentedly and pushed himself closer to Michael's body, as if it was still possible. Michael who seemed to still be asleep moved his arm and held Ivan against him, securing him as close as possible. Ivan didn't want to ever wake up again. Ivan was still relishing his dream, being alone together with Michael when he started hearing Michael's name being called. Someone must be calling him from reality, Ivan thought. He heard the voice getting louder and louder and all he thought was that he didn't want to wake up from this dream. He closed his eyes tightly and held himself even closer against Michael. Suddenly he heard the door to Michael's room opening and someone said, "Hey, Michael! Want to go out for a quick run?" Ivan opened his eyes and realized he was still in that strange and wonderful dream. He and Michael were still in the same position. Confused, he looked to the door, still not releasing himself from Michael's arm, and saw Jake standing in the room with a surprised look on his face. "Jake? What are you doing in my dream?" Ivan asked, thinking this was the first time that Jake had ever appeared in his dreams. "What are you talking about?" Jake asked back, also confused. Ivan, totally bewildered with the situation, looked back to Michael and saw him opening his eyes. Once Michael opened his eyes, the first person he saw was Ivan. He was about to smile and ask him if he wanted some breakfast when he realized his arm had locked Ivan against his body. "Dude." Michael heard Jake say. Surprised by the way holding Ivan while Jake was suddenly standing in, he immediately jumped up from the bed. Ivan rolled himself to the far side of the bed at the same time. "Jake, what are you doing here?" Michael asked awkwardly from beside the bed. Ivan asked himself what was going on. He still thought he was dreaming but it was beginning to become uncomfortably real. Jake tried not to grin and suppressed himself by clearing his throat. "I was just on my way for a quick run. I just thought I'd drop by here to ask if you want to join me but clearly, you have something else going on so..." Jake drifted off as he looked at Ivan and chuckled nervously. Michael looked at Ivan and his bed and thought how the two of them must have had looked like earlier. "Oh. That." Michael chuckled with a slight hint of nervousness in his voice. "Actually, I picked Ivan up from a party last night and he just crashed here and I just kinda drifted off to sleep beside him earlier." Michael tried to explain. Jake didn't know how to respond so he just went with, "Oh." When Michael didn't seem to have anything else to say, Jake said, "I'll just leave you two then." With that, he left the room. Michael looked at Ivan who was now sitting on the bed and told him he would go ahead downstairs to start cooking breakfast for the two of them. Ivan just nodded, still confused. It hadn't been a dream after all. He just had just been cuddled up to a sleeping Michael and Jake had seen them together in that very position. Ivan let out a deep sigh and plopped himself back on the bed. A while later when the smell of Michael's cooking had reached the room, Ivan decided it was time to go and face Michael to confront the embarrassing moments that had taken place that morning. As he went down the stairs, he heard Oasis playing on the stereo. Michael heard Ivan step into the kitchen. "Good morning!" He greeted. Ivan tried to study Michael but he couldn't detect anything different despite what happened back upstairs. "Good morning." Ivan said softly but with a smile on his face. "Sit down." Michael said and gestured to the table the in the room. As Ivan sat down, Michael brought plates full of eggs, sausages and pancakes. He noticed the strange look on Ivan's face when he saw the food. "Grease helps with the hangover." Michael stated. Ivan shook his head with a look of wonder on his face. "I know but since when did you start cooking?" He asked. Michael smiled with pride. "I've been doing the cooking for myself since Sophia and Mark went back to the city. They took Junior with them by the way." "Wow. That explains why the house is unusually quiet." Ivan remarked. He suddenly remembered how it was at Michael's a few years back. The house was always alive, especially with loud Sophia and playful Junior. Even though there had been only four of them in the family, it had always seemed like it was a full house. "Yeah but I have company more often than not. Jake mostly hangs out here and sometimes even eat his meals here. That's why I cooked a lot this morning. He'll probably drop by here before going back home. I think he even stays here more often than his own place." Michael explained and chuckled at the last sentence. Ivan wasn't that surprised. The two did seem pretty close. "I know what you're talking about. I have the same case with Jesse." Ivan said. Ivan then remembered Jesse. He really didn't know what had happened to him."Where did Jesse go anyway? I was pretty out of it last night." Michael scowled and said, "I dropped him off at the square on the way here. I don't think it's best for you to hang out with him anymore Ivan." He said sincerely. Ivan was surprised to hear that from Michael. "Why not?" He asked. Michael didn't want to point it all out to Ivan but he knew he had to. "He's bad for you. Just look at what happened last night. He took you to that party and got you all wasted but he couldn't even take you home himself. And don't even get me started about what I've been hearing about him." He said. Ivan shook his head, almost disappointed with Michael and said, "What are you talking about? Jesse has been nothing but nice to me. All that other stuff you're hearing, it's just him. It's just Jesse being himself." Michael tried to reason with him. "But Ivan, you should have seen yourself last night. You were a mess, especially this morning!" "Last night was my idea, okay. I told him to take me to that party. Why don't you cut Jesse some slack? He looked out for me all night." Ivan was starting to get mad. Michael was just being so judgmental towards Jesse and he couldn't understand why. Michael's face sobered. "I'm sorry. I just... I just don't trust him with you." Ivan took a deep breath to calm himself. "Michael, I can take care of myself. Why don't you go and take care of Alex instead?" Right after the words came out, Ivan immediately regretted them. Michael detected the bitterness in Ivan's voice and wondered what was going on with him. "What's that supposed to mean?" "Nothing." Ivan uttered, looking down at the table. Michael scoffed. "You can't just put something like that out in the open and then take it back." Ivan nodded and said "You're right. I'm sorry. That was a mistake." He stood up from his chair and added, "This was a mistake." Michael saw something in Ivan that he couldn't understand. "No, Ivan. I'm sorry. I just—" Ivan gestured to the door. "I'm gonna go. Thank you for taking care of me though. It was really nice of you." He said and left. "Ivan!" He tried calling for him but Ivan seemed to refuse to hear him. Michael didn't understand what had just happened. Jesse had just gotten back from retrieving his car from where it had spent the night when he saw Ivan walking alone in the middle of the town. He drove slowly in Ivan's direction until he was beside him. He rolled down the window and said, "So you've been released from the enemy's fortress, huh?" Ivan looked at the moving car beside him and saw it was Jesse. "Hey." He greeted quietly. "I kinda walked out actually." He confessed. Jesse raised an eyebrow, stepped on the brakes and said, "Now that is something I want to hear. Get in the car. I'll take you home." Ivan made his way around the car and sank into the passenger's seat. "Now tell me what happened," said Jesse. When Ivan was done with his story, the two were already in Ivan's kitchen and had just finished breakfast cooked by Ivan. Jesse was silent for a while, digesting the story. Ivan was surprised when he suddenly asked, "So you're really in love with him?" "What? I didn't say that." Ivan blurted out. Jesse shook his head and said, "No, but you didn't have to." Ivan took the opportunity to avoid the conversation by picking up the plates and putting them in the dishwasher. However, Jesse was persistent and followed him to the sink as he washed his hands. "You're in love with him." Jesse stated. "I am not!" Ivan said firmly. "Well, it just sounded like you are when you told me that story and even now when you're trying to deny it." Jesse tried to argue. Ivan looked Jesse straight in the eye and told him, "I don't have feelings for him." Jesse curved his lips downward. "Whatever you say," he said as he went to the living room to watch the DVDs that he had brought. A few minutes into the show, he felt the other side of the couch sink. "What are we watching?" Ivan asked Jesse after he sat down on the couch, seeing all the girls on the screen. "Top Model." Jesse replied with his eyes glued to the set. Ivan stifled a laugh before he asked, "And you're watching this because?" Jesse looked at Ivan, surprised by his question. "Dude, because it's awesome." Ivan chuckled at the disbelief on Jesse's face. "Today you're watching Top Model and tomorrow, going to the Queens' Convention with Randy. One faggity act a day keeps the hot guys away." Ivan quipped. Jesse chuckled along with Ivan. "Where do you come up with this stuff?" He asked. When they heard the doorbell ring, Jesse volunteered to go to the door insisting that Ivan stay to appreciate `one of the wonders of the gay world'. Jesse opened the door with a smile on his face. Once he saw it was Michael, he scowled and called for Ivan. "The boy you don't love is here!" Jesse yelled. Michael looked at Jesse with a confused look on his face and Ivan walked towards the door with the same expression. "What are you talking about?" Ivan asked Jesse. When Ivan saw Michael on the doorstep, he back slapped Jesse's shoulder as he gave him a look. "Ouch!" Jesse complained as he went back to the living room. Ivan noticed Michael looking confused so he tried to explain it in the simplest way possible. "You know, Jesse," He said. Michael just nodded. There was an awkward silence when the two didn't speak. Michael was avoiding Ivan's gaze as he stared at him. "What are you doing here, Michael?" Ivan asked, with a hint of impatience. Michael looked at Ivan and said, "I came here to apologize for earlier." When Ivan didn't say anything, Michael decided to continue. "I..." Michael sighed. "I was listening to Oasis this morning and a song reminded me of you." Ivan noticed the CD in Michael's hand. "You and I, we've always been so close— always depending on each other. You may not have noticed it but I'm the one that depends on you more than you do on me. And I guess I'm just trying to protect you." Ivan thought he already made the point about this earlier. "I can take care of myself." He said. "I know that now." Michael said softly. "And that's what worries me. If you don't need me to look after you anymore, then what am I? How can I return the things you always do for me?" Ivan was about to say that he didn't have to return anything because he had not done anything but Michael stopped him. "You may not need me, Ivan but..." He paused. "I need you. You're the one I always depend on. You're my wonderwall." "Look I'm not good with words and I'm not sure if you even understand me so..." Michael handed Ivan the Oasis album. "Track three," Michael said and started walking away. Ivan watched Michael and knew that he couldn't just leave it like that. "Michael!" He called for him as he jogged towards him. "You're wrong." Ivan said. Michael had a questioning look on his face. Ivan looked at Michael's eyes and said, "I need you too. And now, I need you to accept that Jesse and I have gotten really close. I just can't throw away a friend, especially a good one." Michael was silent at first, taking in what Ivan had said then he smiled gently and nodded. "Okay. Do you mind calling him for me? There's something I've got to say to him." A big smile crossed Ivan's face. He nodded and ran back to the house. A few minutes later, Jesse was outside walking towards Michael. "Dude, you wanted to talk?" Jesse said. Michael walked to meet him and said, "I just want to apologize. Ivan told me that going to the party was his idea and that you looked out for him. It turns out I was wrong about you. I'm sorry." "Well." Jesse smirked, trying to drag out the moment. Michael looked at him expectantly. He rolled his eyes and said, "Okay! You're forgiven." The two boys shook hands and Jesse said lightly, "I still think you're an asshole though." Michael shook his head with a smile and said, "And you're still a jerk. " Meanwhile, through the window, Ivan saw Michael and Jesse shake hands. The two exchanged words and both laughed. Ivan smiled at the sight. Then as his eyes lingered around the scene unfolding in front of him, he saw a familiar jeep slowly passing by and driving the jeep was Andy Pearson. Ivan felt a sense of dread wash over him as his hands started to feel cold and his whole body went numb. He was back. Andy Pearson couldn't be back. ______________________________________________________________________________ What do you think about the lastest chapter? For those who can't recall who Andy Pearson is, he was the boy that was bullying Ivan the year before the started. Ring a bell yet? He was mentioned in Chapters 6 and 7. Thanks again to Mr. Dennis S for editting my work and for those who aren't still members of the facebook readers' page, We have lots of room for you guys. If you want to join, here's the link: http://www.facebook.com/groups/ISBreaders/ Thanks! Keep on reading :)