Date: Fri, 1 Jul 2011 14:25:53 -0700 From: Jeffrey Venzuela Subject: I Shall Believe - Chapter 4 (Revised) ___________________________________________________________________________ Warning: If you don't tolerate or approve of the gay lifestyle please leave now. This is pure fiction. No one in this story is a real person, living or deceased. Any similarities is just a coincidence. ___________________________________________________________________________ I Shall Believe Chapter 4 Jesse laughed but Ivan didn't even crack a smile. "You're serious?" "Dead serious." Jesse started walking towards the main building but the other boy followed quickly. "What makes you even think that?" He felt Ivan's hand on his shoulder. He turned around and saw a smirk on his face. "I didn't think. I saw." Ivan smiled even wider as Jesse tried to read him. "I don't know what you're talking about." He said as he resumed walking. One of these days you're going to have to let someone in; his god mother's words echoed in his ears. "Jesse!" He ran to the boy. "Look, I'm sorry." The boy just stared at him, waiting for him to continue. Ivan sighed. "I thought I saw you the other night in an alley downtown. You were..." He looked away after drifting off. "Receiving head." Jesse finished for him. He felt heat crawl all over his face as he shifted on his foot. "Exactly." He looked at Ivan with a strange face. "Yeah. I think I remember." He Grinned before adding, "That was one of the best blow jobs I've ever had! Dude, his tongue makes me go crazy." He laughed at Ivan's shocked face. "What gave me away? Because I'm sure it was pretty dark in there." Ivan looked at the arm that somehow made its way around his shoulders as they walked. "Uhm." He fought the urge to remove Jesse's arm. "Your voice. I recognized it." "Really? So you've been listening to me talk all this time, huh." Ivan rolled his eyes. "Get over yourself. Besides, `dude' was pretty much a dead giveaway." Jesse chuckled. "So how did I get to be friends with the star quarterback's kryptonite? What's with that anyway? The guy just backed away after you told him to." Ivan shook his head laughing. "Definitely not because of your inability to shut up." Jesse went ahead and started walking backwards to face him. "Oh, come on! I want to know." He shrugged. "Sorry. Not today." "Why not?" "Because..." Students around them started hurrying inside as the bell rang. "We're going to be late for class." Everything went as usual in school. When he walked the corridors, he ignored most of the kids and they ignored him. Although, he did nod to some kids who talked to him during classes. Even if it was just to ask him a question about the lecture or pass a note, Ivan appreciated it. At least they didn't avoid him like a leper. He was sitting in his English class when Principal Allen, in her usual crisp suit, called their teacher out of the classroom. She lead Ivan's teacher away with a hand on her waist as they talked quietly. A few minutes later, a man walked into the classroom and held up a finger to hush the students. He paced around the room and once footsteps could be heard from the hallway, he knelt down in front of the door. "Honey what are you—Fuck!" She exclaimed after realizing the man Was holding a small box. He opened the it and revealed a simple yet elegant silver ring. "Will you marry me?" "Yes, fucking yes!" She pulled him up and kissed him. The class made sounds of approval while some laughed. The teacher pulled away from her fiancé. "Oh my god." She turned her face towards her students as he slipped the ring on her finger. "Did I just swear in front of my students?" "Yes!" The chorus was followed by laughter. "I can't believe they're getting married." The girl behind Ivan said to no one in particular. Her words reminded him of when he had used the same words himself a few years back. It had happened during the annual town Halloween party for teenagers. Michael, Alex and Ivan were in middle school but they still insisted on going with Michael's sister, Sophia. She was a high school senior but middle and high school were on the same campus. Since her boyfriend had warned her that he'd be running late, she took them along. He and Michael dressed as angel knights while Alex was a devil. On the way, Sophia kept complaining about the fact that her Virgin Mary costume had gotten mixed up with a finger costume. She thought that being the Virgin Mary would be a perfect irony since her boyfriend had recently gotten her pregnant. "Why didn't you just change your costume?" Alex asked once they were out of the car. "Because Mark told me to leave it as it is since his costume got mixed up too and he's not changing." "Still, ugh." She shivered in disgust. "Don't listen to her Sophie, I still think you look pretty." Ivan tried to reassure her. Michael made gagging sounds which earned a dirty look from his sister. "That's so sweet, Ivan. Maybe you should move into the house with us and be my little brother instead." She slapped Michael's head. "Hey!" He complained. Sophia stopped. "So, how do I look?" She did a twirl then put her hands on her hips which on her finger costume was a crease. "Like a pregnant finger." Alex joked and laughed. Michael started laughing, making his wings look like their flapping. Ivan shrugged. "You look nice to me." So there they were at the corner of the town square, two angels, a devil and a finger. Ivan noticed Sophia fidgeting. "You look so cute." He said. "Ivan, that's very nice of you but I really don't. Okay? I look stupid." She sighed. "Damn it, Mark. You better make up for this." She said to no one in particular. After a few more minutes of waiting, Mark still wasn't anywhere to be seen. "Screw this." Just as she was about to leave from the humiliation of her costume, the music stopped and a spot light pointed directly on her. Her face went red while everyone stared at her. "Fuck you, Mark." She whispered to herself. She heard someone calling her from behind. She turned to look to see her boyfriend as a red box. Before she could even ask what took him so long , he knelt down in front of her and asked her, "Will you marry me?" A love song started playing and the crowd cheered for her to open her boyfriend, the box. She lifted the top off and saw a hula-hoop coated with gold paint resting on the other half of the box just above his waist. She jumped up and down as she screamed yes. Her boyfriend took the golden ring over his head and slipped it on her, a finger. Alex and Michael laughed at the ridiculousness of their costume while Ivan watched quietly with a smile. "Oh my god. I can't believe they're getting married." Alex was talking to her squad and since it was a game day, they wore their uniform. After reminding them not to be late for the pre-game stretches, she saw Michael sitting alone at a table. "Hey. Why aren't you sitting with the rest of the team?" He played with his macaroni and cheese while he talked. "It doesn't matter if I'm not even playing with them tonight." "Coach won't change his mind?" "Not if my grades won't change." "You want me to talk to him?" Michael looked at her. "What's the use? Ivan won't change his mind. You know how stubborn he is." "Actually, I meant the coach." Alex smiled. "Why don't we just hire someone? Like an actual tutor." "I don't want an actual tutor. Ivan's the best. He already knows how to make me learn everything." Alex didn't know how to respond so she changed the subject. "Speaking of Ivan. Have you heard his English teacher got a proposal during class?" "Really?" Alex nodded. "Ivan must have loved that." He smiled with a memory of his own. She laughed. "Of course! Do you remember what happened at your sister's wedding?" Michael remembered it alright. It was probably one of the moments he'd Never forget. They were all sitting together at a table, Alex, Ivan and Michael. The wedding toasts started and Ivan was unusually quiet while Michael shifted helplessly in his seat. "Boring!" He whispered to his best friend who was sitting beside him. Ivan didn't respond, listening intently to the speech by the groom's mother. "Some people would probably look at you two today and say, `What a shame. They're throwing away the rest of their lives.' But you know what? That is why none of them got invited here today." The other guests laughed. "Enough about them. All the people here in this room are here to congratulate you. Not just for getting married but because you two are really lucky. At such an early stage in your lives, you've already found what others desperately search for almost their entire life. True love. So, here's to my redneck of a son, Mark." That brought out another burst of laughter from the crowd. "And of course, to the most beautiful bride I have ever seen." She smiled to Sophia who had her hand over her chest mouthing her thanks. Michael looked at Alex who was flirting with the best man, who's also a senior. He leaned close to Ivan and whispered. "Look at Alex trying to score major cool points." He could hear Ivan sniffling. "Hey, are you okay?" He got up from his seat and crouched down in front of his best friend. Ivan quickly wiped his eyes with his sleeves. "Ivan Benedict Brody, have you been crying?" "No." He avoided Michael's gaze. "Okay. Since when did you start lying?" He nudged his knees. "No, I'm not." "Yes, you are." "No, I'm not, Mikey." He held his shoulders. "Yes, you are Benny!" Ivan still refused to meet his eyes. "You're going to make fun of me." "Look, Mikey. You're my best friend. No matter what you do or say is ever going to change that." That made Ivan look at him. "I can't promise that I won't tease you." Ivan was ready to protest but he added quickly, "But that's just because I love you." He nudged his knees again. "Okay?" Ivan nodded. "And don't tell anyone about the last part or else I'm gonna tell everyone you've been crying." He grinned. "'Kay." "Now, why were you crying?" Ivan smiled sheepishly at him. "C'mon." Ivan took a deep breath raved about the entire wedding. He said he loved it all, the vows, the piano and violin playing in the background and the toasts. "Which is your favorite part?" "Everything!" He giggled. "But if I really have to choose... It'd be... the wedding march." Michael fought it to wrinkle his nose. "Why?" Just as his best friend started talking, Michael saw a faraway look in Ivan's eyes, like he was trying to go back in time or maybe even fast forward to the future. Either way, he was somewhere else. Somewhere that made him happy. "It's just when the bride walks into the church and takes her first step towards the isle. Everyone's watching her, admiring her beauty, her grace. But above everyone, no one looks at her the same way as the groom. He looks at her like she's the only one in the room. And that's what she's doing too, looking at him like no one else does, trying to fight the urge to just run to the altar and profess her love in front of everyone." Ivan sighed deeply and smiled. "I swear wedding is my favorite holiday now." He said with excitement "Uh, I don't think weddings are considered a holiday, Benny." He rolled his eyes. "Of course not! Mikey, don't you think I know that? It may not be a holiday but I know that to the couple, it feels like it is." He didn't understand how Ivan could feel that way over a simple event but he smiled anyway to the fact that it made his best friend happy. "Like Christmas and birthday thrown together?" Ivan's eyes grew big. "Yeah!" Michael laughed. After the reception, Michael told Alex about Ivan's new favorite holiday and they teased him merciless about it. "He used to wear his heart on his sleeve." Alex said as the two of them watched Ivan walked to his usual spot under the oak tree. Jesse appeared and went to sit beside him. "Who's he?" asked Alex. "The bastard who took my spot on the parking lot." Alex laughed. "And you let him get away with it because?" Michael looked at her and then back to the oak tree. "Because Ivan said so." Ivan let the cool wind soothe him as he sat on his usual spot under the oak tree. "Hello friend." Jesse sat beside him. "So are you going to tell me the big mystery about you and the King of the school?" "I will... as soon as you tell me about your little `rendezvous' the other night." He smirked at him. Jesse looked at him and shook his head. "We met at a party that night, got wasted. One thing led to another and then there we were, looking for someplace private." Ivan chuckled. "Really? A dark alley downtown? That's `someplace private' for you?" "Are you kidding me? The darkness, my new little sarcastic friend, is nature's version of privacy." "Says my new wannabe-hippie friend." "Okay, that's it." Jesse sighed. He looked at Ivan with a serious face. "Asshole." Ivan gaped. "Woah! Where did that come from?" Jesse looked away and shrugged. "I just thought it needs to be said." That got Ivan thinking. Was he really? But he decided it was his turn to answer. "We used to be friends. He had a habit of getting himself into fights and I always tell him to just leave it." "You mean Michael?" asked Jesse. Ivan wanted to say, "No. Einstein." But since he was just called an asshole, he decided against it. Instead, he just nodded. "I'm sorry Jesse. It's just that..." He really didn't know how to explain it. He didn't really want to explain it in the first place. "Okay. I'm going to offer you an out, right now. If you can't take me and my sarcastic jokes you can leave now. This is me and I'm not going to apologize for it. I'm pretty much this guy most of the time." "How about other times?" "That guy..." He shrugged. "I guess you won't know unless you stick around with this rotten one." He seemed to think it over. "Deal." A smile crept on Ivan's face. "Cool." "Oh, oh!" Excitement filled Jesse's voice. "Speaking of cool. There's a cool party tonight— "I don't know. That's not really my thing anymore." "C'mon! It will be really fun." He could still see Ivan's doubt. "Plus, there are going to be tons of guys there." Ivan jeered. "Like there will be guys out there interested in us." "No. They're not just going to be interested in us. They're interested to be in us." He laughed at the look of horror that crossed Ivan's face. "Don't you get it? It's a party `with' guys." He could see the realization settling in but Ivan still looked doubtful. He gathered his most serious face before speaking. "Ivan, we've just got friends this morning. Then we just had our first fight a few hours later and made up immediately afterwards. We totally have to celebrate." Ivan laughed. "You make it sound like such a big deal." "It is to me! C'mon!" He considered this. This would be the first time he'll Have an actual friend after the events of last year. Did he really want to pass the opportunity? "Oh god. You give me no choice." Jesse started pouting. Ivan laughed. "Fine! Okay. Just stop that stupid puppy look face." "What can I say? It works every time." Before going to their respective classes, Ivan told him his address and to call before coming over to pick him up. After school, Ivan went to Jean's diner. "Hey, pumpkin. What brings you here?" Jean greeted him with a peck on the cheek. He walked into the other side of the counter and started putting on his apron. "I work here, remember?" Jean laughed as she carried a tray of dishes into the kitchen. "You were before I found out how much of a mess you are." "Jean— "Ivan, go home. You're supposed to be taking it easy." She came back with a washcloth and started wiping the counter. "I'm going to close up by six and I'll cook dinner—real dinner this time—for both of us." "Actually... I kinda have plans tonight." Jean stopped working to look at him. "I'm going to a party." He blurted out. She resumed what she was doing. "I don't know if that's a good idea. You're supposed to take some time off to relax." "Just look at it as my way of blowing off some stress. And, you won't have to close the diner early because I'm not home for you to watch over anyway." "And who are you going with?" "Just some friend." She looked at him. "Michael?" He shook his head. "Alex?" He shook again. "New friend. His name's Jesse." She raised an eyebrow. "New friend, huh." Ivan crinkled his nose. "Ew. It's not like that. He's a total goof." "Hm-mm." "Okay, you're the one who told me to start letting people in." "Hm-mm." Ivan opened his mouth but shook his head as he left. "Whatever." Once he got to the door, she called to him. "Good luck on your date, Pumpkin! Be home before twelve." "No." Ivan threw another shirt on the heap of clothes that were scattered on his bed. This was his first time going to a party exclusively for gay guys and he had no idea what to wear. He didn't want to look desperate but he didn't want to be under dressed either. Jesse hadn't called yet to Ivan's relief because he still needed time to figure out what to wear. He was trying on a red shirt when the doorbell rang. He couldn't believe Jesse didn't even call. He took off the shirt and replaced it with one of the huge shirts he usually wore around the house. He went downstairs and opened the door. "I told you to call me before picking me up!" "Uhm, I thought you made it pretty clear that calling is useless since you don't ever pick up the phone." It was Alex still in her cheerleader uniform. "Yeah, uhm. I was expecting someone else. What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at the game?" Since it was obvious that he wasn't going to let her in, she went to the point. "It really doesn't matter since we're losing. The coach won't let Michael play." "Not my problem." He was about to close the door but she put a hand on the doorframe. "Please, just let me finish." Ivan crossed his arms over his chest. "I heard about your new friend this morning in the parking lot." "So?" "He left that boy alone because you said so." "Yes. What's your point?" Alex shook her head. "Do you even remember that first time you two met? Because I can. I was sitting there beside you on the swings when some kids bullied you. I didn't know you then and we were just in kindergarten so I really didn't know what to do but Michael, he stopped them and started fighting them. He told them to not mess with you ever again. Then all of the sudden you cried and told him you hated him." Alex smiled wistfully. "I remember you saying that Michael wasn't any better than those bullies because he hurt them like they could've hurt you." "I don't get how this matters to the game." Alex made her voice louder to get it through Ivan. "It matters to Michael, Ivan! That day... he said that he didn't want to be those bullies. That you should always remind him to stop if he's nearing to become one." She looked at Ivan softly. "That day on that playground, he swore to you that he'll always listen to you no matter what so that you won't hate him because he wants to be your best friend." She took a deep breath. "He needs you Ivan. And if you don't want to help him, it's fine. I can understand that but you've got to at least talk to him." Ivan was still caught up on the memory that he didn't know what to say. Alex sighed and shrugged. "Well, I tried." She walked away. He was closing the door when she stopped. "I know my friend's still in there somewhere. I miss him." "I miss him too." He nodded before closing the door. He leaned on the door and wiped the tears that escaped from his eyes. There was a knock on the door. He breathed deeply, trying to compose himself before he opened the door. "Party!" ______________________________________________________________________________ Thank you for reading. I really appreciate all the e-mails. if you have some advice and suggestions about the story and my writing, I insist you e-mail me. Keep on reading!