Date: Thu, 11 Aug 2011 21:38:30 -0700 From: Jeffrey Venzuela Subject: I Shall Believe - Chapter 9 ___________________________________________________________________________ Warning: If you don't tolerate or approve of the gay lifestyle please leave now. This is pure fiction. No one in this story is a real person, living or deceased. Any similarities is just a coincidence. ___________________________________________________________________________ Chapter 9 Ivan was deep in thought during the drive to Alex. He felt bad about his response to Michael's apology about not being there for him when his mother died. All Ivan had done was nod because he didn't really wanted to lead Michael on to believing that he had truly forgiven him because he really wasn't sure yet. However, he was sure that he wanted to be there for Michael during his whole grieving. Ivan arrived at Alex's house and knocked on the door. He waited for a minute before knocking again. "Alex?" He called. No one answered so he tried the door knob. The door opened so he went in. The lights were on but there was no sign of Alex or her mother, Beth. The house was quiet. "Alex?" Ivan called again as he ascended the stairs. He followed the hallway to what he could remember as Beth's room. It was at the end of the hallway. Ivan stood in front of the door, ready to knock, when it opened. Ivan saw a surprised Alex wearing a simple black dress. She was carrying three empty liquor bottles and the reek of cigarette smoke filled the air. "Ivan." She said after she regained her composure. "What are you doing here?" Ivan stared at the bottles in her hands. "I came to get you." "Oh." Alex said as she followed Ivan's gaze to her hands. "I'll just bring these downstairs." "Do you need help?" Ivan asked. Alex smiled. "Thanks. I can handle it." She passed by Ivan and descended the stairs. Ivan stared at the open room in front him and couldn't help but be curious. He took a few steps towards the room and found it a mess. Furniture was scattered across the room. The only thing that seemed to be in place was the bed. But lying on it was Beth, unconscious with her legs dangling over the side of it. There were ashes and an ashtray at the foot of the bed which must have fallen from the bed to the floor along with the disheveled sheets. "I found her like that after I took a shower." Alex said walking in and seeing Ivan looking at her mother. "I thought she was out of the house since her room was locked. Then after I changed, I heard the lampshade crashing. I looked all over for the duplicate but I couldn't find it anywhere. Then I found it a while ago inside the freezer." "The freezer?" Ivan asked to check if he had heard her correctly. Alex scoffed. "Yeah. The last time she hid it in a box of cereal." She said and shook her head. Ivan gave her a sympathetic smile. "As you can see I still have my hands full." Alex gestured around the room. "Just tell Michael I can't make it." Somehow, Ivan didn't want it to be that way. "No." He said. Alex looked at him as he struggled to find a way around the situation. "I'll help you clean up and then we can go." Alex shook her head as she sat on the bed beside her unconscious mother. "I can't, Ivan. I just can't leave her like this." Alex stared at her mother. "Who knows what she'll do once she wakes up. " Ivan nodded in understanding but still tried to think of a solution. "Maybe I can stay and watch her while you're at Michael's. Think that would work?" "Yes but are you sure? Don't you want to be there for Michael?" Alex asked. "Yeah but you didn't have the opportunity to be with him last night or any time earlier today." Ivan said sincerely. Alex smiled at him gratefully. "Thanks. I really want to be there for him today considering I wasn't at the hospital with him last night." "I know." Ivan smiled back. "I'm sorry about all this mess." Alex gestured around the room. "It's okay. I'll take care of it." Ivan said as he nodded. "Now go." He smiled gently. "Thank you." Alex said and left the room. Ivan took a deep breath and examined the wreck of a bed room. He first went to open the windows and pull the curtains to the side. He then picked up the night stand lying on the floor. "Ivan?" Alex called from the door. Ivan turned to face her. "I really am thankful for this." Ivan nodded. "And I just wanted to say I'm sorry— for everything." He nodded again. Alex didn't fail to notice that Ivan only nodded at her but she decided that a nod was good enough, at least for the time being. Jean arrived at Michael's house a little early and looked around for Ivan. She was greeted by Sophia to whom she solemnly gave her condolences. Jean saw Michael walk into the room and approached him. She started by saying how sorry she was then asked where Ivan was. "He just went to get Alex. They'll be here soon." He answered. Jean wondered why Ivan had to pick her up but refrained from asking Michael. "So the three musketeers are back in the fight now?" Jean quipped. Michael exhaled deeply. "I sure hope so." Both of them stood in the living room staring at the door waiting for the two to arrive. "Would you like to have a drink?" David Jr. asked Jean. Jean smiled to the little boy. "Sure, Pumpkin. A glass of water would be nice." The boy wrinkled his forehead and looked at Michael. "Why did she call me a pumpkin? I'm a boy." Michael and Jean couldn't help but laugh. "Buddy, that's just a name she likes to call young boys, just like Kiddo." His eyes went out of focus as he absorbed the information. "So you're like what, the mother pumpkin?" Jean tried to stifle her laugh. "I think she wants her water now Junior." Michael told the boy. "That boy is something." Jean commented as she smiled. Michael agreed. "Oh, look. There's Alex." Jean said as she saw Alex enter the room. Michael followed her gaze and saw Alex. She looked beautiful in her black dress. She gracefully walked towards them and hugged them. "Where's Ivan?" Michael asked as they separated. "How's your mom?" He added. "You know, the usual. Ivan volunteered to stay with mother while I stay here with you for the rest of the afternoon." Alex answered. "Is Beth okay?" Jean inquired as she heard the conversation. "She passed out after a little drinking." Alex said in a low voice. "And how much is little?" Jean asked. Alex looked down. "Three bottles of vodka." "Jesus." Jean whispered to herself. Michael looked alarmed as well. Alex explained how she didn't think that all of the bottles were consumed just that day because the other two were much colder than the one near her on the bed. Jean searched her purse for her car keys and said, "I'll go and check on her to make sure she's fine." "She's fine, really." Alex said. "This isn't the first time this has happened." Jean nodded but said, "Still, I'm going to make sure she's fine." She left the room. Alex turned to Michael. "Michael, I'm sorry. This was supposed to be about your dad but my mother—" "It's okay." He assured her. "We all have our problems." Alex smiled at her meekly. Sophia entered the room and announced for everyone to gather around so the activity could begin. At Alex's house, Ivan was still cleaning Beth's room. Beth hadn't even stirred despite the noise of the vacuum cleaner that Ivanhad used a while ago. Ivan was on his way downstairs when he saw Jean through the window, walking towards the house. Ivan went and opened the door. "How is she?" Jean asked. "She's still asleep." Ivan replied as he went back on his way to return the vacuum to the basement. When Ivan returned, Jean was already arranging the furniture in Beth's room. "How's Michael doing?" He asked her. "I think he's going to be okay." She answered. "Why don't you go back there and check on him yourself." "I just can't leave Alex's mother here alone." He reasoned. "Pumpkin, that's what I came here for." She said with a smile. "Michael needs you to be there." "He's already got Alex." Ivan tried to smile. "I'm sure he'll be okay." "Do you want me to tickle you down and drag you all the way to the door?" Jean feigned a cruel face. Ivan giggled. "Okay, okay. Just let me help you put this room back together first." Jean grinned. "Deal." The two worked together on moving things back and forth, trying to decide where the various pieces of furniture were really placed. "So when do you plan on telling him what you feel?" Jean asked Ivan as they carried a desk to the space between the windows. "I don't know what you're talking about." Ivan said. "Oh, don't pull that on me." She said after putting down the table on the side of the room across the bed. "You've been in love with him since you two boys met." She added. "I was never in love with him. Never have, never will. We're just friends." Ivan replied. "And he already has Alex." "Let's take Alex out from the picture for a while. Would you go after him?" "It'd be useless. He's straight. He's my straight best friend. Going after him would just ruin our friendship." He explained. "So you still consider him your best friend then?" Jean asked. "I don't know," was Ivan's short answer. "What's with all the questions anyway?" "Nothing. Just want to make time fly by faster." She reasoned. "So are you in love with him?" "I already told you—" "Yes or no?" There was a long pause before Ivan answered. "No. He's my best friend and he's straight and he has a girlfriend." Jean held her hands out. "Whatever you say." Both heard a groan coming from the bed. They looked and saw Beth was still asleep. The two stared at her until she started snoring. Jean was the first who broke out in laughter but soon was joined by Ivan. Back in Michael's house, people were already sharing their favorite memories Of David Gilner. Each person would stand in front of everyone in the living room and share his or her story. After a co-worker from the office told his story about David lending him money for his mother's emergency surgery after having a heart attack, Sophia volunteered to go next. "Hi." Sophia smiled, already on the verge of crying. "First of all, I just want to say thank you for joining our family today. Dad insisted this is what he wanted so here we are Dad." She laughed softly. "Dad and I were close. All of us, his children, were really close to him." She gestured to her two younger brothers who smiled at her. "But my father and I always had a special bond. I was his little girl." She paused after her voice broke and she wiped a few stray tears. "My favorite memory... was very hard to choose because the truth is every memory I have of my father is my favorite." She exhaled deeply. "But this is what I want to share with all of you. "During my senior year, I got pregnant with my boyfriend Mark, who is now my husband. One night during dinner, I finally told him that I was pregnant. He put his knife and fork down, stood up and left the room. I started crying but then he came back into the room with our phone in his hand. "He told me to call Mark and tell to come over for dessert. Of course, I was scared he might hurt him, I mean Mark did get me pregnant and we were still in high school. He told me to trust him so I did. Mark arrived and we all sat on the dinner table silently eating his home made chocolate ice cream. "After everyone was done, he asked Michael to leave and watch baby Junior while we talk. Then dad talked to us kindly. He asked us what our plans were and what we wanted to do. He didn't push us into doing anything. He was just there, listening to us. Then a few months later, Mark proposed to me and then we told Dad we were getting married. "He congratulated us and told us that we had his support no matter what. On the morning of our wedding, he sat me down on my bed and had this very serious look on his face. I thought he would ask me to call off the wedding but instead, he asked me if he could give me away. I let out a little chuckle of relief and said, `Of course'. He hugged me and said that I would soon be Mark's wife but I'd always be his little girl." Sophia sniffled as she wiped her tears with a napkin. Mark went on her side and rubbed her back to soothe her. "To Dad." She said raising her glass. "To David." The people toasted. "Excuse me. I just need some air." Michael said as he loosened up the tie he was wearing. "Michael..." Alex said going after him but Sophia stopped her. "I think it's best for him to be alone for a while." She smiled at Alex. Alex just nodded. "How about you share your favorite memory of Dad?" "Okay." Alex smiled at her before looking back to the door where Michael had gone. Upon arriving outside the Gilners', Ivan immediately saw Michael sitting on the porch steps. He slowly approached the boy who was staring off in another direction. He looked deep in thought as the setting sun and the trees surrounding the house created shadows over his face. "Hey, what are you doing out here by yourself?" Ivan asked. Michael looked up to him. "I just needed some air." The boy said quietly, averting his eyes to nowhere in particular. "What, did they run out of air inside?" Ivan laughed softly at his own joke. "It's just..." Michael paused to gather his thoughts then turned his face to Ivan. "Hearing everyone talk about their memories with dad, it's too much for me." Ivan nodded and asked. "Have you shared your favorite memory of Dave?" Michael shook his head. "I don't think I want to." "Why not?" Ivan inquired. "Because I'm afraid saying it out loud will make the memory fade faster." He explained. "It won't. Trust me." He assured him. "And besides, if it did. There'll be what, 15 people from today to remind you of the memory. I'm sure they'll be happy to help you remember." Michael nodded. "So you think you think can do it?" Ivan asked and he nodded. "What?" Ivan asked as he noticed Michael grinning widely at him. His face grew serious as he answered Ivan. "It's just I've missed you and your pep talks." Ivan gave him an appreciative smile. "Michael." The two boys turned their heads to see Alex approaching them. "Hey Ivan. How's mother?" "Jean's watching her but she was still out of it when I left." Alex nodded as she looked between the two boys. "And the room's good as it was before. Jean helped me clean." Ivan added. Alex sighed. "I'm really sorry Ivan that you had to do that." "It's fine." Ivan said sincerely. "Thank you." She hugged him and said, "I've miss you so much." Ivan smiled and nodded after they separated. "Is it okay if I go? I really have to check on mother myself." Alex turned to Michael. "Yeah. It's okay." Alex hugged Michael and kissed his cheek. "I'm really sorry about your dad." She said holding his face. Michael nodded and hugged her. Ivan, thinking that it was best to leave them a moment to themselves, went into the house. Jean noticed from the window of Beth's room that it was already dark outside. She sat on a chair beside the bed and put a cup of coffee and some aspirin on the night stand. She was staring at Beth's sleeping figure when she stirred. Beth groaned before speaking. "What are you doing here? Where's Alex?" "I'm here to make sure you're okay while Alex has gone to Michael's." She answered. "Oh, right. Dave died." She sat up and took two aspirin from the table and downed them with coffee. "First Rose then David. I wonder when will my time be." "That's a little too selfish don't you think." Jean said a little louder. Beth scoffed. "Rose died on a car accident. David died from cancer. You'll what, drown yourself in alcohol?" Beth smirked and raised her eyebrows. "That's the plan." Jean couldn't help but get mad. "Are you listening to yourself? Getting drunk a few Friday nights while you babysat Ivan, Michael and Alex years ago was one thing, but this? Beth, you have a daughter that needs you." "Yeah, a daughter that William left me for." Jean shook her head. "Don't you dare judge me. You don't know what it feels like to be knocked up and dumped like yesterday's paper." Beth said, her voice rising. "Oh I'm sorry. I was only left by multiple guys because I can't give them a baby." Jean said sharply. "Everyone has their own problems Beth. But you, you need to move on. You're complaining about something that happened seventeen years ago and your daughter is the one who's suffering." "That girl is not suffering. She receives more money from her ass of a father than I do." It was Jean's turn to scoff. "Is this what it's all about, money? Why don't you try and buy a little less alcohol and be a little more of a mother?" "Why don't you try and talk less and pray for a miracle baby more?" Jean stood up abruptly and raised her hands. "That's it. I'm not going to argue with your alcoholic ass anymore." Jean walked out the door. "Don't be so pissed honey. Try adopting!" Beth shouted. She was surprised when Jean went back by the door just to give her the finger. "Bitch!" Beth shouted again. As Jean stormed towards the door, she came across Alex. "Jean, I just wanted to say—" Jean smiled and said, "You're welcome." Then her angry expression came back. "Good luck with your mother." Michael stood in front of everyone, feeling really awkward as they waited for him to share his story. He looked at all the expectant faces and among them was Ivan who smiled at him reassuringly. He concentrated on Ivan's face, took a deep breath and started. "Like my sister said a while ago, it was very hard to choose the best memory of dad because to me, everyday with him was the best day I had with him. However, I think this is the one that really stands out for me. It was my first game as quarterback and I was really nervous. I can remember my dad patting me on the back saying, `You'll do great son.' Every time that day from this house all the way to the school, he kept on patting me and reassuring me that I'd do great. Before the game started, I made sure I knew where he sat so if ever something actually great happened, I'd be able to see his reaction. It was a very tough game and I was really struggling until I took a look at dad watching from the bleachers. I decided that I'd give it my all just to see him be proud of me. "I ran my fastest and played my hardest and eventually, I scored my first touchdown. Then before I could even look at my father, I could already hear him screaming at the top of his lungs. `That's my son. That's my son.' He kept on yelling to the point that others' on the bleachers were already staring at him but he didn't care. Neither did I because in that one moment, I felt I truly deserved to be his son." Michael blinked to stop his tears and realized he had his eyes on Ivan during his entire speech. Michael grinned as he saw Ivan wipe some tears from his face. "To dad." He toasted. "To David." The others raised their glasses. Michael walked to Ivan's side, threw his arm around Ivan's shoulder and whispered. "I forgot how much of a softie you are Benny." He grinned. "Well Mikey, I never forgot how much of a socially awkward person you are." Ivan replied with a smile. ______________________________________________________________________________ Thank you again for reading my story and a special thanks to Dennis S, my editor. This might sound a little ambitious but I'm thinking of starting a facebook page for this story. What do you guys think? Should I start a group or a page where you guys could post your opinions? Anyway, thanks again. Keep reading!