Date: Mon, 18 May 2009 16:28:07 -0400
From: hardreader2000@aol.com
Subject: I Thought I Knew - Chapter 18 - Part 1

Chapter 18 -- Part I
From Billy's viewpoint

I had really fucked up everything. I had lost Jess as my best bud and
Justin as my boyfriend. That sure happened quick. We were boyfriends for
like three hours.

I was going out of my fucking mind as I holed up in my room. There was no
one that I could turn to. At first I tossed around a bunch of crazy
ideas. Trying to blame Justin because he brought the dildo. Trying to blame
Jess because he'd been my best bud all those years and never told me any of
this shit about him being gay. He'd known a lot of shit - like how he was
able to suck his own cock. He'd known it for years and never told me. And
now I was supposed to be OK with it? Well, I wasn't.

But in the end, I knew there was no one to blame but myself.

I had spent the whole day at home. I couldn't possibly have gone to school
and faced Jess, or risked running into Justin. I had absolutely no idea
what might happen if I did. It was a long day with a lot of time to
think. Maybe too much time. I tried to take my mind off it watching guys
jack off and stuff on XTube, but you can only watch headless guys jack off
so many times and you're ready for something new.

I went to JUB and read some stories. They distracted me from my personal
misery. Some of the stories were pure sex and got me pretty hard for a
while. Other stories didn't sound so different than mine. Of course, all
the stories had fairytale endings, if they bothered to end at all.

I spent a lot of time reading and fantasizing over one really fucking hot
story that was stroking my mind. So good. So engrossing. So hot I couldn't
stop reading. It was like I'd climbed in the shower with these two
guys. The story was Shower With My Brother's Friend by bjboy8807. bjboy8807
has got a really cute picture of himself on his home page. About my
age. From San Antonio. And he loves giving head. A guy who can write like
that can give me head anytime, I thought as I started to read again. My
hard eight inches was wrapped in my palm and ready for action.

I read: . . . he slowly kissed his way down my neck, onto my chest, making
a short stop at my right nipple to gently lick it with the tip of his
tongue, which gave me goose bumps all over, he thought that was cute and
kept moving down. His tongue slid its way down my abs and to my belly
button, which he again stopped at, but then quickly moved down to the main
attraction, my now extremely hard cock, which now showed a drop of pre-cum
at the tip.

I looked down at my own raging cock. There was more than a drop of pre-cum
flowing from my piss slit. I was leaking big time. I continued reading and
stroking.

I read: He gently licked his way to the head of my dick and licked the
small drops of pre-cum away. "Oh, I've been waiting to taste you again
since our shower together," he said. He devoured my cock. All the way down
his throat it went. He took special care to circle my head with his tongue,
a sensation that drove me crazy. It was amazing the tricks he knew.

I slumped down in my chair. My cock pointing up at me. I started to mimic
every action blowjob boy was describing. Imagining it was blowjob boy
himself. Here with me. Dark eyes. Fantastic swimmer's body. Just like I
love. Those soft lips. Down between my legs. My hand went to my nuts as I
read . . .

I read: He would knead my balls in his hands, and bob his head up and down,
and every time I thought I was gonna blow, he'd stop. After fifteen or so
minutes of this amazing blow-job, he pulled me out of his mouth and started
moving back up to my face, he kissed me again. "Justin I want to feel you
inside of me," he said. "Well lay down and get ready," I told him.

That's what I so wanted to say to my Justin. Justin I want to feel you
inside of me. My mind was a blur of characters. I wanted to be Justin
wanting to be fucked. I wanted to be Chris so ready to fuck Justin. I
wanted to be bjboy, the one calling the shots. Moving the players. Closer
together. More in love. And in lust. Justin, Chris, me, Justin, blowjob
boy. We were all interchangeable in my mind. In a tangle of lust and desire
that drew us together. My cock was aching. My roiling cum building up.

I read: He lay on his back and I spread his legs apart. "I've never done
this before, so be gentle," he said with a worried look on his face. I lay
on top of him and kissed him on the lips. "I'll be as gentle as you like."
He smiled and his white teeth smiled. I kissed my way down his amazing
body. I stopped at his cock and kissed it right on the head, and Chris let
out a soft moan. I brought my face to his firm ass and spread his cheeks
apart and plowed my face into it. I swirled my tongue softly around his
tight button, and he moaned loudly.

I was so hot. I had to take my hand off my throbbing cock. I sat there
dabbing a finger in my oozing pre-cum. Tasting it. Dreaming of
Justin. Dreaming of blowjob boy in Texas. My own life a fantasy gone so
wrong. My own cock aching to correct it.

I read: I softly started to make my way into his hole. The more I pushed
with my tongue the louder his moans would become. "Oh, God! Justin that
feels amazing. Mmmmmm." Chris' moans made me so hot that I wanted nothing
more than to be inside of him. Once my tongue had done all that it could
do, I traded it for my finger.

My hand was back to my cock. My need was incredible. I had to have
Justin. I'd been edging too long. As my orgasm built, I started to skim:

. . . He gasped, and I could feel his hole tighten on my finger, but he
soon relaxed. . . . I kissed him on the lips and took my fingers from his
hole . . . "I've jerked off every night thinking about you." . . . I lubed
up my cock and his hole and put my head up to his hole. I looked him in the
eye and he nodded. I slowly started to push my cock into him. The head
popped in and Chris closed his eyes, and took in a deep breath, I could
feel him tighten . . .. he opened his eyes again and looked at me, and
again nodded. I slowly pushed farther and farther in until I could feel his
ass pushed up against me and I knew I was all the way in. . . . ass
tightened around my cock. It was the most amazing sensation I had ever
felt. . . . slowly . . . in and out of his ass . . . I started to fuck
Chris harder and harder . . . Chris would grind up against me. We moaned
together. The sounds of our lovemaking filling the room.

My nuts tightened. My chest tightened. I closed my eyes and saw blowjob boy
as if he were in the room with me. Making love. I saw Justin. I saw each of
them and all of them. Fucking their happy brains out. I wanted to wait. To
cum with Chris and Justin and blowjob boy. Too late.

My cum surged through my nuts and shaft. It erupted from my cockhead with
such sensation that my brain was on fire. My guts in knots. I came. And I
came. And I came. My warm cum flooding into my lap. My cock throbbing with
each load. My hand sliding up and down my cum-slicked shaft. Then only a
single finger running up and down the underside of my cock shaft. I love
that feel. I love it the best when it's Justin's tongue. Gentle massage to
the backside of my cockhead. Right where it meets my cock shaft. Right
where it feels so exquisite. At last, my cum flow reduced to a slow
dribble. My body slumped in my chair. I read one last bit of Shower With My
Brother's Friend as the aftershocks of my cum ebbed. I slowly scooped up
and ate my still-warm cum.

I read: "Come on, Justin. Fill me up, fill my tight ass up with your cum!"
I gave his ass two more good pounds and then I forced my cock all the way
in him and my cock exploded. "Ooooooooooooohhh, fuck!" I filled his ass
with my cum. . . . Chris exploded all over both of us . . . he was cumming
like crazy. My orgasm was too much and I collapsed on top of him. . . . we
both lay there breathing hard, in a pool of cum.

I, too, was breathless. Spent. Laying there in a pool of cum. My
cum. Alone. But at last I could drift off to sleep.

I awoke about 9 p.m. and somehow managed to hold off calling Justin until
almost 9:30. When I finally did call and he realized it was me, he just
said, "So what do you want?" in a tone that was none too friendly.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I've thought about it all fucking night and
all day and I should have something better to say, but that's all I can
think of. I'll never do anything like that again. I'm so sorry." I may have
been crying. I'm not really sure. Finally I stopped talking and listened to
the silence at the other end. I could hear music in the background, but
Justin said nothing.

"Are you there?" I asked as my mind flashed back to the story I had been
reading earlier. I wanted us to be like Chris and Justin. I wanted my
Justin to say to me . . . to say what he had said before. I love you. I
wanted to say those same words to him.

There was a long pause and then Justin said, "I shouldn't have even
answered the phone when I saw it was you calling. And I won't answer it
again. . . . No, wait. Here's the deal: I'll answer calls from you if Jess
tells me that it's OK. That you two are best friends again. That you've
made everything right. Until then, you can just sit home and fuck
yourself. I don't even want to see you."

He hung up. I just sat there holding the phone, not knowing what to do
next. Fantasy and reality. Lust and love. If only they could be more the
same. Less trouble. Less pain.

I know I cried then. And, as you probably have guessed, I'm not a guy who
cries.

If I wanted Justin, even as just a friend . . . and I fucking wanted Justin
in the worst way . . . I had to call Jess. But that was just too hard for
me to do. Instead, I sat in my room and felt sorry for myself, blamed
myself, told myself there hadn't been any other way.

But when I stopped running my mind round and round all my fucking excuses,
I was left with nothing but the image of Jess' face. His face staring into
mine. His tears as I plunged that big black dildo in and out of Justin's
ass until Justin came and then I came, too. No matter how good that cum had
felt, there was no pleasure in my memory from that moment now. The look on
Jess' face as he had watched that. What must he think of me? He would never
talk to me again. Never look at me again.

I couldn't even imagine how I could face him. Passing him in the halls at
school. Sitting in classes with him. At swim practice. In the showers. How
could I? How could I have ever thought it was a good idea to trick him into
walking in on Justin and me?

As I sorted all this shit out, I told myself often enough that I didn't
know exactly what Jess would see. But I had to admit to myself that I knew
he would see something. Something that would hurt him deeply. Hurt him so
deeply that I would never have to talk to him about Justin and me being
boyfriends. About Jess and me being . . . what?

God, what a fucking mess I had created.

The weekend passed as I moped about the house, mostly staying to my room,
my computer and my bed. On Monday I stayed home from school again. My
mother was really getting concerned and wanted me to see a doctor. I told
her I was getting better. I was just really tired, but getting better each
day. I knew I couldn't stay home another day. It was time to face the
music.

I needed a plan and I didn't have one. I needed to know the right words to
tell Jess and I didn't have a clue. I really wanted to ask Justin what I
should say, but I knew he'd never talk to me. Not about that. Not about
anything.

And then in desperation, I picked up the phone and called Jess. I didn't
know if he'd answer my call or not. I could hear his mom calling him to the
phone. I waited. A long time.

Then I heard a faint and almost frail Jess say, "What do you want, Billy? I
have nothing to say to you."

"I know I have no right to ask, but I want to see you tonight. Saying I'm
sorry doesn't cut it. I know that. I need to prove to you that I can be
your friend again and I don't think I can do that over the phone. Please,
Jess, give me just this one chance."

Continued tomorrow . . .

AUTHOR'S NOTES: The exerpts from "Shower With My Brother's Friend", Chapter
3, were used with permission of the author bjboy8807. I highly recommend
that anyone who has not read this story do so immediately. It can be found
at JustUsBoys.com. If you have read it already, read it again. I did.

The names and some other identifying information in this story have been
changed to conceal the identities of the characters described. The
copyright for this story is held by Hardreader. The story may not be
reprinted or distributed elsewhere without the permission of the author. I
would love to receive comments on this story from readers. Has the story
caught your imagination? Has the sex been getting you off?  Do you have any
questions I can answer? Email me at hardreader2000@aol.com