Date: Wed, 27 May 2009 10:40:57 -0400
From: hardreader2000@aol.com
Subject: I Thought I Knew Chapter 19

Chapter 19
From Jess' viewpoint

When the phone rang Monday night, somehow I knew it was Billy before my mom
told me. I had been dreading and hoping for that call since Sunday
afternoon. Almost 30 hours.

I'd already spent way too much time hating Billy. When Justin told me Billy
had planned to have me walk in on the two of them fucking, or whatever, I
thought I'd never forgive Billy. How could I?

The only thing that eased the pain was that Justin was so good to me. Even
tender. I wanted to believe that he might learn to love me someday, even
though I knew he was still way too hung up on Billy to spend much time
thinking about me. At least for now. I was certain that the reason he
wouldn't go further with me Friday night, you know, cum on me the way I
asked him, was that he still hoped that he and Billy . . . Well, he and
Billy would do something. Get back together? Be lovers? Something like
that.

At first it was another reason to feel rejected. Another reason to hate
Billy. I couldn't have Billy. And even though Billy and Justin were busted
up, I couldn't have Justin either. All because of Billy.

Then Sunday I realized I couldn't drag all this pain and anger around with
me. I knew I had to let it go. And the only way I could think to do that
was to accept things as they were. I couldn't change them.

That meant I couldn't change Billy and what he had done to me. I couldn't
make Justin want to . . . whatever that was we were about to do. I couldn't
stop being gay. And I couldn't turn back time.

What was done was done. Some of it – most of it actually – was
great. I had a lifetime of wonderful times with Billy and just a brief
moment of absolute pain. My history with Billy was what it was.

So when the phone rang Monday night, it was hard and painful to say I'd
talk to Billy face to face. But to say no to him was to deny the past. And
the past was the only thing I was certain about. It was the best part of my
life.

Thank god I said yes to him. That kiss with Billy Monday night was almost
everything I had ever hoped for from him. He was as close to me as he had
ever been. Not just sexually, but truly close. It told me everything I
needed to know. I had been right to say yes to Billy. He hadn't been
bullshitting me. He wanted to prove he could still be my best friend. So
far he was well on his way to proving it.

And what about that woody he sprang when he was hugging me before he
left. I couldn't help but notice that. So I could turn Billy on! I liked
that. And I had to wonder where that might lead us. That put a smile on my
face.

But first I had to get some sleep and start focusing on school again. I'd
been accepted to college, but if I didn't graduate, who knew what my future
would hold.

Tuesday at school was a trip. I don't think I'd ever seen Billy so
happy. Word had spread fast that he and Kate were history. And when the
guys saw the shit-eating grin plastered on Billy's face that morning, they
all assumed he'd dumped Kate for a new girl who must be screwing him
royally. Billy was all high-fives and back slapping and jumping around like
a wild man.

Apparently Ellie hadn't said anything to anyone, because no one seemed to
know that I'd broken it off with her. She was out sick or something, I
guess. I never saw her all day. Just as well.

A couple of the guys asked me what was up with Billy. Was it true he had a
new girl? Is that why he'd dumped Kate? Is that why he'd been so . . . so
invisible recently?

"I think he's got someone new, but you'd have to ask him. He hasn't
actually told me that himself. But I think he's hopeful," I said, trying to
be clever. To help Billy out a little, I added, "Another school, I
think. It could be he's seeing somebody who doesn't go here." Now that gave
him some skating room if he wanted it.

I didn't see Justin until lunch, when he walked into the cafeteria. I was
sitting next to Billy and I could tell we both saw him walk in. I wondered
what Billy would do. Would he acknowledge him like a friend? Show a subtle
sign that they were . . . I was having so much trouble with that word
. . . sign that they were boyfriends?

But no. Nothing had changed. I saw Justin give a slight nod toward our
table. I knew it was for Billy, but it could have been for anyone, even
someone at a table behind ours. If Billy acknowledged him, I didn't see
it. I don't know how Justin felt, but it sent a twinge of pain through
me. Left me a little sad. For Justin. And for Billy.

Billy was busy denying he had a new girlfriend. But he said No in a way
that everyone listening thought surely meant Yes. He was playing it just
right. At least with the guys.

That evening Billy was sitting in my room just as he had so many nights
before. We talked about just about everything. But somehow no matter what
we started talking about, the subject always ended up being Justin. It was
all Billy could think about. Justin and Saturday night.

But that was OK. Billy wasn't just talking about another guy. He was asking
my advice. He was turning to his best friend to help him do this right.

Sure I was jealous and sometimes I probably got a little short with
him. But it was fun watching Billy try to figure everything out. What did
Justin have planned for Saturday? What should he wear? Should he tell his
folks he wouldn't be home that night? That he was staying over at a
friend's house or something like that? The questions were endless and our
attempts to puzzle answers seemed just as endless.

And then there were the sex questions. Did Justin expect to fuck Billy? If
he did, should Billy let him? What if Justin wanted Billy to fuck him?
Should he? What if . . . I couldn't focus on what these questions actually
meant. I didn't dare visualize what it would look like. How it would
feel. My mind treated it as pure information. Possibilities. That way I
didn't get all worked up over what might really be happening between Justin
and Billy. That just might make me crazy.

As the evening wore on, Billy told me every word that had passed between
the two of them Monday night. All the while, he was trying to get me to
tell him everything Justin had said to me. And me to Justin. At one point,
to try to at least deflect the conversation, if not change it, I asked,
"Are you really not going to jerk off all week?"

"Sure. I've got to. I mean, I've got not to . . . or whatever," Billy
said. "Justin did it for the twins. I can do it."

"The twins was for only three days as I recall the story. And Justin said
he almost went crazy. So assuming you didn't jerk off after you talked to
Justin last night, that would be about five days without cumming. Get
real. What's the longest you've ever gone without getting off? I don't mean
as a little kid, but since the days when you used to come over here and
we'd jack off sitting side by side right here on this bed at least once a
day?"

God, just saying that brought back memories.

"Maybe 12 hours. . . . No. When I had appendicitis I think I might have
gone more than a day cuz I couldn't figure out how to jack off in the
hospital," Billy said

"So how did you jerk off in the hospital," I asked.

But it was like I wasn't really there. Billy just went on talking about
Justin. "Justin said I shouldn't, so I won't. Five days won't kill me, but
it may make me crazy having all this cum backed up in my nuts. It's already
making me horny as hell. I feel like I could squirt my brains right out of
my dick tonight. But on Saturday, I know whose gonna get all my pent-up
love juice. When I finally cum, Justin better have a lifeboat handy. It's
gonna be a cum flood. So should I try to fuck him first, or . . . ?"

I was almost at wits end with the sex talk. I finally said to Billy, "What
do you want to do? Just tell me. Do you want to . . . to do it with him? Do
you want him to . . . to do it to you?"

"If I knew the answer to that, we wouldn't be having this discussion, would
we?" Billy said in return.

"Billy, it's not that hard. Do you want to or don't you?"

"It depends."

"On what. Just tell me what it depends on," I asked.

"It all depends on what happens first. Is he gonna be like he was when he
came to my house. All soft and gentle and sexy . . . Sorry, Jess. I didn't
mean to bring that up. But if he's like that, he can do whatever he wants
to me and I hope to hell he wants me to do it to him, too."

"Then you have your answer," I said.

"What is it?"

"It depends," I said. "Discussion closed." He left not long after that. For
the record, I don't think we got any studying done.

The days passed. Wednesday just like Tuesday. Thursday like Wednesday
. . . Except for Billy. Every day he got hornier and hornier. I think he
was sporting a big ol' hard-on every time I saw him from Wednesday morning
on. He took to wearing his shirttails out to hide it. But I knew. And I
think the guys knew, too.

They just thought it was his new girlfriend. Only Justin and Billy and I
knew any different.

Each evening, Billy came to my room and we talked and said we were going to
study.

Despite the one-sidedness of the conversations, I have to admit, I was
really enjoying having Billy back in my life. Since part of his deal with
Justin was that they were not to get together until the appointed time
Saturday night, I had Billy to myself. Sort of.

That first night I think he called Justin five times from my room. But
Justin wasn't chatty and wouldn't answer any of his questions about what he
had planned. Each call only left Billy feeling more pent up. And hornier.

Finally Friday night came and Billy and I were sitting on the end of my bed
talking like we had so many nights before. Billy could only talk of
sex. Getting off. Justin. Jacking off. Justin. Blow jobs. Justin. How much
his cock ached for some action. How he didn't know if he was going to make
it until tomorrow night.

He'd get talking and before long he'd have his hand on his hard cock toying
with himself. Then he'd realize what he was doing and pull it away.

After he had left, I didn't start studying. Instead I sat there on the end
of my bed thinking back to the days when Billy and I used to sit side by
side and jerk ourselves off. Ever since that first time it had been the
same. I lay back on my bed and closed my eyes, remembering what that had
been like. It seemed like it was just yesterday. I could smell Billy in the
room. Feel his presence. His warmth.

Suddenly I sat bolt upright. My hard cock in my hand. I remembered with
complete clarity the last time Billy and I had sat side by side on my bed
jerking off. I could see it all as though I had stepped out of myself and
filmed the whole thing. It felt like it had been hours ago. Not years.

That last time when we were still kids. We'd sat side by side. Me with my
eight-incher in my hand. Hard, hot and sensitive as hell. My fingers
caressed it and made it generate such sensations that my whole body
vibrated to the needs of my throbbing cock. Stroking my cock impatiently
the way you do when you're just a kid and don't know any better. My jeans
were down around my ankles. I'd pulled the front of my T-shirt up and over
my head. I always shot my cum pretty far. I didn't want to have to explain
to my mom what that sticky stuff was all over my T-shirt.

I remember looking down and admiring my abs. Not a six-pack yet. But
looking pretty good for the skinny kid I was. I was tan and with my pants
pulled down you could see the tan lines.

I was completely attuned to the boy next to me. Billy and his big cock. His
lust unleashed on his throbbing cock. I remember looking over to check out
Billy's tan lines. About like mine. And his dick, too. His had a little
more arch to it. Mine was straighter. I remember wondering about
that. Which was better? Which was right? Which felt better as you stroked
up and down? I have to admit I was wondering what it would feel like to
hold Billy's cock. Stroke it. Have him stroke mine.

He saw me looking and I saw him watching me watching him. We were stroking
in perfect unison. Both doing a real number on our dicks. We were getting
close. I let out a little grunt as the pressures started to build in my
nuts.

Billy turned his head to look straight at me and I looked straight back. We
often watched each other as we jacked our meat. Studying each other's
techniques. Learning more and more about the fine art of getting our
cum. Our minds were like directly wired to each other. His pleasure was my
pleasure and my pleasure was his.

Without ever saying a word, we were telling each other everything we knew
about jacking off. Popping our nut. Whacking our meat. It was what we
did. How we learned. But we never stared at each other. Not face to
face. Eye to eye. Not while we were beating off.

But this time we were. Billy smiled at me, like he knew something I
didn't. I smiled back, but wasn't sure why. Wasn't sure what was up.

Then it happened. He reached over with his free hand and pushed my hand
from my cock. Replacing it with his own. I remember the searing warmth of
his fingers on my cock. He wasn't stroking it. He was just holding
it. Firmly. Toward the base of my shaft. But all the while looking right in
my eyes. He had just answered all my questions.

My breath caught in my chest. Nothing like this had happened before and
nothing had prepared me for the sensations running through my cock, my
nuts, my gut, my brain. Billy just smiled. My cock was on fire with the
feelings. His hand on my cock was nothing like my own hand jacking me. His
was like that of a god. Or a demon. Sensations radiated from it. Into
me. My cock throbbed and swelled in response to his touch. He'd brought my
cock to life as it had never been before.

He wasn't jacking my meat. Or his meat, either. Just sitting there holding
both our cocks. So simple. So complex. One cock in each hand. And
smiling. Billy's devilish smile.

He nodded once. A sign to me? A question? A request for my approval?

I wasn't completely sure, but I nodded back. Just one nod of the head. Down
and back. That's all it took.

Billy's hand started sliding up and down my cock. I immediately realized
that his hand was slippery. More slippery than mine. His pre-cum. He had so
much each time we stroked.

His hand was coated with his pre-cum as he slid it the full length of my
hard, straining cock shaft. It was incredible. Each stroke was accentuated
as the edge of his index finger brushing the flared edge of my swollen
cockhead. Each stroke accentuated at the other end as his little finger,
curled around my straining cock, pushed into my pubes. Right down to the
base of my cock. Causing my nuts to rock between my splayed legs.

I wasn't watching his hand, but the sensations were so strong that I could
perfectly visualize what was happening. I'm not sure how long this went on,
but for more than a minute. Then we were both getting close again.

My nuts were pulling up. I could feel the tension building somewhere
between my asshole and my balls. My cum was already on the move. "I'm gonna
cum," I said very quietly to Billy.

He didn't say a word, but removed his hand from my shaft. Wiped his palm
across his own piss slit, gathering more of his slippery pre-jizz as he
did.

He returned his hand to my throbbing cock. I could feel the blood flowing
into it. It felt enormous. Out of all proportion and weight. A huge, aching
cock jutting out in front of me. My cock. Swelling. Burning up from within.

Billy's hand was no longer on my shaft, but was wrapped around my
cockhead. Twisting back and forth. Creating a friction that was so
painful. So exquisite. So electric. I knew I would blow a huge load in no
time at all.

I could tell Billy was giving himself as good as he gave. I finally looked
down and saw his fantastic cock. Swollen to its full glory. Rigid. Red. It
looked angry. Menacing. Yet so inviting. So thrilling. So alive. It's lips
swollen from the hot action. Clear ooze flowing freely from them. The
cockhead and shaft gleaming with his pre-cum lube.

As I looked from Billy's cock to mine and back again, I heard a soft rap at
my bedroom door. "Jess. Billy. Can I come in?"

My heart stopped. Billy's hands froze where they were. One wrapped around
his engorged cockhead. The other around mine.

The door was locked. We always locked the door.

She turned the knob.

My jeans around my ankles. My shirt up behind my neck, my cock jutting up
from my lap. Billy's hand wrapped around it. There was nothing ambiguous
about what was happening. Nothing we could say. Nothing we could do.

It seemed as though all three of us -- Billy, his mom and me -- remained
frozen in silence for eternity.

Thank god the latch was in place as my mother twisted the doorknob one more
time. I summoned all the composure I could and mumbled. "In a minute. We're
in . . . in the middle of something . . . important. Come back in a
minute."

"OK" she said with uncertainty in her voice. I heard her footsteps as she
walked away. I realized I hadn't said `please.' I always said `please' to
my mom. But not this time.

Then, Billy began to swivel his hand around my cockhead. And around his. I
should have pushed it away. I should have said No. But I didn't. It was too
late for that. My legs stiffened and a guttural sound caught in my
throat. My sperm was rising and there was no stopping it.

I felt my cum gush in a torrent from my cock lips, splashing against my
chest. My chin. Billy pulled hard on my cock as his body spasmed and he
began to cum as well. I looked down at his spewing cock as cum flowed over
his hand. So much cum. So fragrant. So much thicker and creamier than
mine. As I looked at it, time seemed to freeze.

Then time surged forward again as a load of my stringy hot cum splattered
Billy's cheek. He kept swiveling on my cock. Jerking it here and there as
cum load after cum load was unleashed like never before. My cum was
everywhere.

I looked up. The door was still closed. My mother was gone. Had she really
been there? Did she know what we were doing? What Billy was doing? To us?
Together?

I was terrified and confused as my cum finally slowed to a dribble and I
was at last able to catch my breath.

Billy stood up. His manly cock still mostly hard. Covered in cum. He looked
so proud holding his big sticky cock in his hand. Cum was dripping off his
fingers to the floor in globs. More cum had pooled in his pubes. He pulled
up his jeans and tucked his cum-soaked cock inside. Then he grabbed his
still-swollen cock in his hand through his jeans and adjusted it. Where his
fingers had grabbed his shaft, I could now see cum soaking through the
denim fabric. It outlined his cock perfectly.

I stood and pulled on my own jeans. Pulled my shirt back over my head and
let it cover my mammoth cum on my chest as best it could. I pulled up my
jeans. Fastened them and sat back down.

Another rap at my door. My mom again. "Jess? Billy?"

I went over to open the door, realizing our cum was obvious on the hardwood
floor. On Billy's crotch. Probably soaking through my shirt and jeans. The
smell was obvious, too.

"What are you boys up to now," she asked as she stuck her head in surveying
us and the room.

I shrugged and Billy mumbled, "Nothin' really."

All she said was, "I think it's time for Billy to go home now."

Billy left. Not a word was said. We never jerked off together again. Not
until I told him I was gay.

As I sat on my bed, I tried to think back. This memory seemed too
vivid. Why had I never remembered this before? Had I dreamed it? Was it
real? Or imagined? And if it was real, what was real? What imagined? Had he
jerked me off? Had my mother really come to the door? Had she seen us
soaked in our own cum after we . . .?

It didn't seem possible, but the memory – never in my head before –
was now undeniable. It was part of my past. True or not, I could not shake
this memory. Had he really been the first to reach out? To show his true
orientation? Had we both realized what we were? Had we buried all sense of
ourselves? To hide the shame of being caught by my mother?

I had to ask Billy. But I couldn't. Not now. Not with all that was
happening. I would have to wait.

To Be Continued . . .

AUTHOR'S NOTES: The names and some other identifying information in this
story have been changed to conceal the identities of the characters
described. The copyright for this story is held by Hardreader. The story
may not be reprinted or distributed elsewhere without the permission of the
author. I would love to receive comments on this story from readers. Has
the story caught your imagination? Has the sex been getting you off?  Do
you have any questions I can answer? Email me at hardreader2000@aol.com