Date: Tue, 6 Aug 2002 13:31:14 EDT
From: Writersrealmmm@aol.com
Subject: In Skater's Time 5

In Skater's Time

Chapter 5
The Opened Book

Writersrealmmm@aol.com

	My life was immediately different.  Not only did I feel really
great about the move to California but also about making a different kind
of a friend.  I did worry about Gordo though.  He said so much I didn't
know if it was all true or not.  I also had a bit of a problem with the
kid's age.  I'd never run with anyone younger than me and he was.  Yes,
he'd put some highlights in my life that no one else had done before but he
was the kid that knew too much for his own good.  How did he know so much
so soon in the first place when I didn't know anything?

	When I headed up to the mall each morning it was with the hope of
taking up with Gordo, only this time I was determined to give him some
highlights of his own.  Instead I ended up looking at all the shops and I
never caught sight of him or anyone else that I could talk to.  Lots of
guys walked through the mall with their boards in hand but they were
usually in packs and many had giggly girls under their slim arms.  They
were too busy to notice the new kid.

	By the end of the week I figured Gordo had taken off for parts
unknown.  That's when I went to hang with the early arrivals behind the
mall on one of the small patches of grass.  These boys weren't nearly as
interesting to me as they had been before Gordo showed me the ropes, but a
guy can only take alone for so long, and if Gordo was hardly ever around,
what good was he to me?  It was time to do something else for a while.  I
needed to be around guys.

	The younger guys smoked cigarettes, cursed constantly, and drank
when someone could come up with booze, which was always carried in a brown
paper bag.  They talked about girls they all knew, telling the most
intimate details of any sex act she was rumored to have performed in this
lifetime or any other.  They talked of parties and drugs and orgies where
girls gave guys all they wanted.  They were Gordo's age and younger but
they all seemed so bland and simple compared to him.  Of course most
everyone I knew was bland compared to him.

	The older boys were harder to figure out and that made it harder to
get in with them.  They were around my age but acted way distant pairing
off in a way that cut me off in my attempts to get to know them.  I had
visions of a group know, you know.  Like I'd tell them about myself and
they'd all listen and know me, but they formed these tight little subgroups
and getting into one gave you no invitation into any other subgroup.  It
was more complicated than I imagined it should be.  That didn't stop me
from trying but success didn't come immediately or without the inevitable
screw-ups.

	Progress was slow and I yawned a lot.

						*****

	I saw Gordo twice the following week but he didn't seem too
interested in seeing me.  Both times he was gone before I could catch up
with him.  I thought, perhaps he was in a hurry to get somewhere else.  It
didn't make much sense.  He was the one who always got the ball rolling so
why did he run from me.  I wasn't going to be too harsh about his slippery
escapes since he was the only friend I had and he represented my entire sex
life to date.  I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and hope the next time
he waited up for me.  I was once more left to feel the move to California
had been a mistake.

	One clear bright day in the late afternoon with the young guys
disappearing from the lawn the older guys were straggling in one by one.
The first two sat and talked with me for a minute, asking me if I was still
hanging around, and I explained the bit about relocating and all and me not
really having anywhere to go on account I didn't know anywhere else.
Before we had a chance to discuss it other guys started showing up, and it
was always the same happy hand slaps and giggles and laughs about this
thing or that thing they'd done, escaping discovery after doing it.

	These guys got into a lot more shit than we did back home.  As
immature as the younger guys were I was figuring they were way safer than
these troubled older dudes.  I recognized some of the faces but they were
constantly changing and then I wasn't sure if I'd seen them before or not.
It was just before dark one evening that three tall boys came skating up on
In-lines as I was deciding to leave.  I didn't think a thing of it, just
three more guys for me not to know, but suddenly all that changed when I
heard the names running off one of the boy's lips.

	"Hey Ace.  How you been?  Sup Dart?  Freebee."

	While I hadn't seen John since he gave me the lowdown on some of
the boys, I did remember the name Ace.  This was the guy that was in the
middle of everything John talked about.  If I got to know Ace I was sure
I'd finally be in.

	"Just about perfect, I am.  What's up, dude?"  They slapped hands
and Ace looked around but never noticed me at all.  He seemed... in careful
control.

	Ace was the biggest of the three boys and maybe that's where his
power came from.  He was no doubt the oldest.  His shoulders were broad and
his waist was ample, lacking the swelt and fabulous appearance of most of
the rest of us.  He was quite ordinary except for his size and the size of
his voice, which to be at volume up.  He commanded attention and he got it
from each boy there in one way or another, except for me, who he didn't
seem to see.

	I took time to check out his black Spandex and Ace was more than
ample with a perfect flaccid outline filling out the picture.  It was what
got my attention and held it for several long seconds even though it was
perfectly relaxed near the top of his legs.  He was perhaps ordinary in
every other way but there was more to him than the eye could see.

	Once I dragged my eyes up I noticed that he had thick black hair
and dark eyes.  He loomed over that section of lawn, making small talk with
the boys that had been there all along, while they all looked up at him and
he looked around his parking lot, but never at me.  I was not there and he
knew it.  What was this anyway?  I might seem a little goofy to these
worldly guys but I wasn't invisible.  I wanted to scream out my name, but I
didn't.

	"I'm Dart," he said, sticking out one tan arm to pivot on as he sat
down beside me in spite of my eager eyes that tried to check him out in the
instant I had before he was seated.

	"I'm Z," I said, swallowing hard as I was feeling the warm evening
breeze on my face.  He stretched his lean body out quite close to mine.
I'd only paid attention to Ace and I hadn't seen Dart seeing me.

	"Yeah, I heard ah you," he said, looking around and not at me.
"You're from...  somewhere else, right?"

	He paused in the middle of what he was about to say and changed
course.  Dart looked at me with one long glance.  I mean really looked and
I couldn't help but think he knew exactly what was on my mind.  I thought,
he'd seen me looking at Ace's, but I tried to look at his, maybe that was
it.  That's why he looked at me the way he did.  He knew where my eyes
were.  I wondered how many suspected my interest in Spandex was a bit on
the queer side.

	He didn't say anything else, but I could feel his body heat because
he was so close to me.  Then I caught his scent.  He was sweet and yet
tart.  It was pleasant for my nose and distinctive for my brain.  I'd never
thought about a guy's smell even once before. Maybe it was the breeze
blowing it toward me, but he was so close.

	Dart wasn't as tall and wasn't nearly as wide as Ace.  I'd heard
his name as he tangled fingers with another boy while they laughed, but I
was focusing in on Ace at the time.  He had brown hair but with a reddish
tint near the ends.  I had seen that look on guys when they spent too much
time in the sun.  He was tan but not like Freebee, the third of the new
arrivals.  Freebee was a delicate golden brown and Dart was ruddy rugged
red.  The hair was long, wild looking, and tangled, but he was none of
that, maybe long, but once he was lying down, it was harder to gauge how
long.  I suspect long enough.

	He was no doubt the friendliest of the older boys so far and we'd
only just met.  There was something very very smooth about Dart and I might
have stood off from a guy like him once, but not under these circumstances.
Any friend would be good for me right now.  I was just tired of skating and
doing everything alone.

	He had soft green eyes and an intense expressive face.  He wasn't
nearly as handsome as Freebee, but even with the chipped tooth in the front
of his mouth, there was something very neat looking about this wiry boy.
He too wore the telltale black Spandex.  It was the one thing that kept me
glued to the lawn and the boys I hadn't got to know yet.  Seeing each one
of them in a way I'd never seen the guys back home, though we'd known each
other all our lives.  Spandex made the trip to California worthwhile even
if I never got into another pair.  I had already figured out that guys who
showed themselves off that way had to be eager to do more.

	Freebee stood only slightly behind Ace's shoulder and didn't have
much to say.  Dart looked at him and he drew my eyes to the younger boy.
He had on yellow Spandex and showed off a lean handsome body.  He had the
aforementioned golden tan and his hair was a cross between blond and gold.
He had sensual dark lips that stayed permanently parted to reveal perfect
white teeth.  His eyes were a clear sparkling blue that I could see vividly
from twenty-feet away.  They were opened so wide that I thought I could see
his brain.  His expression revealed nothing about what was on his mind.

	Except for the boys that brought him, Freebee was taller than
anyone else.  He was a bit muscular but it was more natural, and his body
was very nice, even nicer than that when I look back at it.  He was no
older than me, maybe a little younger than Dart, maybe not that old, but
Freebee was enough to turn me queer if I already hadn't made that turn a
bit back down the highway.  He was as lovely as any girl I'd ever seen, or
anyone for that matter.

	"Where'd you say you were from," Dart said, turning his attention
back to me after listening to some of the conversation with Ace.

	"Phoenix," I said as he continued looking at me.

	"Oh, hot spot, dude.  I done Phoenix for a week one day.  You
surf?"

	"I'm from Phoenix, remember," I reminded him.

	"Oh, dude, that don't mean you're dead.  You got to surf."

	"No, in fact I've never been to the ocean.  I've only been here a
few weeks.  I don't like going places alone.  I don't know anyone"

	I threw it out hoping for the best and examining the green eyes
that examined me for what seemed like too long.

	"Man, it makes your peter stand up and your bung hole pucker up.
You got to go surfing, dude.  I mean you're dead if you don't surf.  I
don't hang with no dead dudes, dude."

	"I'd like that."

	"Which do you like best?  The Stand up part or the pucker up part?
I got this hunch you're a stand up kind of a guy there, Z," he said in a
casual way, glancing sideways at me with an easy smile coming to his lips.
His thigh pressed against mine as I used my imagination on him.  Dart was
like a cool breeze and I was already standing up as I lie there next to
him.

	Now, I must confess that I wasn't entirely sure what the hell we
were talking about but it was consistent with a lot of the conversations
I'd had, or not had, since arriving in California.  He was easy to talk to
even though we both knew I had more than a casual interest in the Spandex
they all wore.  It didn't seem to bother him but it still bothered me that
he might think I was gay, even though I was.  It was an old fear that
everyone could tell when looking at me.  I feared I was making no friends
because everyone knew, but if everyone knew, Dart didn't seem to mind.
Maybe he did know and he liked the idea?

	"I'd like to learn to surf," I said, trying not to stare at his
Spandex every time I looked in his direction.

	Once he rolled onto his back and put his hands behind his head to
chat with me, it was next to impossible not to glance down there as he
watched me.  Our faces were like four inches a part but he made no attempt
to separate himself from me.

	"Good!  Good!  I'm taking Gordo next week.  He said you'd be fun to
know.  He's a good guy to know, you know.  Gordo is one of the good guys.
I'm the other.  You met both of us first.  How lucky is that?"

	"You know Gordo?"  I swallowed hard and let my eyes move up to his
eyes.  He was smiling at the interest I had showed in him.  It seemed to
please him.

	"Gordo's cool.  He can be a bit immature at times but he can be fun
too.  He told me all about you.  Says you're like totally cool."

	"He told you?" I said alarmed.

	"What's to tell?  No body has to tell anybody much around here.
You just keep your eyes open and see what you see.  Don't you see things
you like?"

	"I'm not like that.  I wasn't before I came here.  I don't know
Gordo very well.  I don't know anyone.  I've only seen him twice and we
just talked."

	"He seems to know a lot about you.  I've never known him to lie.
Guys do talk in different ways.  Is that what it is?"

		"I don't know," I said, unable to answer the question
without thinking about confessions, admissions, and lingering guilt, and
that damn Spandex, which was spanding big time as we chatted.

	"I see, while he was doing you it was fine and you were that way,
but once it was done, you changed your mind?  You thought you did but you
actually don't?  Is that it?  Lots of that goes around here.  We all take
it where we can get it but that's not what you told him, is it?  You wanted
something from him, I think he said."

	"No!  I don't know.  I don't know what he told you."

	"That's right.  You don't.  He said you needed a friend.  He said
you wanted to be his friend.  He's not sure he's all that good a friend and
he thinks I am, and that's what he told me about you, but I'm thinking
there's more than that since you act like there is.  Is there more, Z?"

	"I want to have someone to hang with.  I mean to do stuff with.  I
mean, hang out.  That's what I want if that's what he told you."

	"Well, we're hanging out, and we're going surfing.  You can come
too if you like.  You look like you're a lot more fun than you say you
are," Dart said, looking at me and pulling down on it while he was watching
my eyes go there to watch his hand.  "A lot more fun from what I can see."

	"I'd like going out with you," I said, sounding simple minded when
I listened to my words.  I was so goofy.  I wasn't fooling anyone.  I
certainly wasn't fooling Dart.

	I knew, if I said anything else it would sound just as goofy as
what I'd already said, so I stopped trying to out fox Dart.  It was more
than evident he knew where my interest lay whether or not it was Gordo that
told him.  It was a done deal before he started talking to me about it.  Of
course he already had the answers and simply made up the questions as he
went along.

	"He told me that too," he said, pulling down on himself again and
this time he helped me stare at it.  "You'll both enjoy yourselves."

	I didn't know what the fuck I meant.  Gordo told him!  Shit!  He'd
think I wanted to....  Even if I did, I didn't want him thinking I did.
I'd wanted to for a long time but I hadn't yet.  I should have known
Gordo's mouth would get me in trouble.

	"He does talk a lot," I said.  "I like him fine to hang out with,
but him not running his mouth about it would be cool too."

	"Z, he wants to help, okay.  He likes you.  He wants you to get
what you want and that's where I come in.  He's just not sure he's what you
need.  He's got problems and doesn't want you in the middle of them.
That's all he told me."

	"He does?  I like him fine.  What kind of problems?"

	"It's a long story and if he wants to tell you it's fine.  It's not
for me to say," he said, looking skyward.

	"He's nice to me.  Nobody else even talks to me.  They look at me
like I'm a geek."  I looked around as I spoke.

	"Gordo what you like?  I mean young like him?"

	"Yes! No! I don't know what I like.  I never been around guys like
you guys.  I feel stupid trying not to sound stupid in front of you.  I
don't know anything except I want to know."

	"He knows a lot about a lot but he ain't got a lot if you know what
I mean."

	"And you do?" I said curtly as he pulled on it for me.

	"What you see is what you get," he said proudly, admiring himself.
"Me, I like my girlfriend more, you see.  Gordo's entertaining if he wants
to be and that's cool.  I'm fine with that if he catches me in-between.
I'm way easy, you know.  I like most stuff.  What's not to like, huh?"

	"In-between?"

	"Him and the real deal.  My girl works odd hours.  If someone
catches me at the right time, I can get with that.  Maybe I should have
said he's young and I'm not.  And then the question is, did you like him
because he was young or because he was there?  And does a girlfriend make a
difference to you.  My girlfriend, not yours?  That's what I should be
asking, maybe."

	"Mostly he was there," I answered without hesitation, letting his
eyes look deep into mine where he could find my interest.  I finally got
one right.  He liked that answer.  He smiled warmly at me.

	"Cool," was the reply, letting the word roll over his tongue and it
ran on after he had finished with it.  His lips were uneven and sexy as
hell.

	Suddenly I understood the language.  Without him ever using the
words I knew what he was asking me.  My heart jumped and my face grew hot
as my eyes lingered in his as his knee bent and firmly touched my thigh.
There was an electric charge that transferred from him to me and I wondered
how he did that.  I was lucky I wasn't wearing Spandex.

	The deal had been struck.  I was on standby along with Gordo for
when his girlfriend wasn't available.  What that meant or why Gordo thought
Dart was more qualified than he was, I didn't know, but I was going to go
along with the deal until I found out.  It was far better than any other
offer I'd gotten.

	I looked at his knee and how it rested on my bare thigh, following
up from the knee until I was looking at his crotch.  Just as I was about to
look back up at his face, and while thinking how outrageously lucky I was
to be there with him, I found myself the center of attention.  The boss had
worked his way around to me.  What timing!

	"Who's this," Ace asked Dart as his eyes worked me over.

	"Gordo's buddy," he said, leaving me to cringe over their
knowledge.

	Did Ace know all about me and Gordo too?

	"Oh yeah.  Gordo's such a wimp some times," Ace said.  "Your Q
right."

	"Z actually."

	"You're too rough, Ace," Dart protested.  "You scare him.  He's
okay."

	"Am I rough, Freebee?" Ace asked.  "I'm a pussy cat, aren't I?"

	"No, you're not rough," Freebee answered, moving back up to Ace's
shoulder to help him look down on me.  I felt like a biology experiment and
they could quite figure out what I was.

	"See, I'm not rough.  He keeps coming around.  He must like
whatever it is he's coming around for."

	"He's a kid.  He's curious.  He wants what he wants," Dart said.

	"He doesn't seem to mind you all that much," Ace said.

	"I don't ask for anything.  He is what he is.  He's a nice kid.  He
likes me.  That's cool."

	"Yeah, well, he don't need to come over if he feels that way," Ace
said dismissive.  "I never asked him to come over.  It's his idea.  He
makes a mess he's got to clean it up is all."

	You could see that Dart and Ace had an easy alliance in spite of
words that sometimes seemed harsh.  They disagreed on something but that's
all it was.  Ace propped his foot up on the curb between Dart's calves.  No
one noticed but me.

	"It just seems you could be nicer if you wanted.  Why not tell him
not to come over if he doesn't like what goes on."

	"It's availability, my boy.  Gordo likes availability.  He wants
what he wants when he wants it, and I, being the... pussy cat that I am,
let him have what he wants at those times. Sometimes in return, I want what
I want, and therein must lies the problem.  He never says anything to me.
He never complains about it.  I think he's yanking your big strong chain so
you'll feel good, Dart.  Gordo knows exactly what he's doing at all times."

	There were some laughs and a couple of the other guys agreed.  I
wasn't sure exactly what this conversation was about.  I did think back on
a few of the things Gordo had said about guys wanting things he didn't want
to give up.  This seemed consistent with some of what Ace said.  It didn't
tell me much except that Gordo got around and he didn't hesitate getting me
to go in the woods with him as quick as the subject came up, not to mention
our trip up to Pat's so he could get his done.

	Now there were stories from Dart & Ace, and Freebee had to fit in
there somewhere.  Nobody that looked like Freebee, didn't not fit in
anywhere he damn well pleased.  He was what I thought a California boy was,
when I lived in Phoenix.

	Dart didn't have any of that.  His arms were too long, his face
seemed ill conceived, and in spite of all that unruly hair one of his ears
showed up anyway.  His eyes were either too close together or too far a
part, I couldn't which, and his eye brow never stopped, one joining the
other without making any attempt to make room for his nose, which seemed
small considering he had big pouting lips and a heavy chin.  When you
looked at one of those ears, or at how full his lips were, or how near or
far each eye was from the other, it seemed awkwardly done, maybe a rush job
at the end of the day.  Only once you put it all together and that chipped
tooth smile was on you, the heat rose up, starting at that space between
your legs, mine anyway.

	Once you found his eyes on you, well, it didn't matter which was
nearer or further away from you or each other.  It was altogether quite
pleasing and exciting, and I haven't begun to describe his Spandex and how
he filled it.  No, what Dart had, had nothing to do with beauty and
everything to do with desire.  I was smart enough to know the difference.

	Ace forgot about me and ended up talking to yet another boy around
on the other side of the lawn.  I had been noticed, and that was fine.  I
felt sure what I really wanted to find out would come from Dart.  For all
that Ace was he wasn't someone I would trust if it weren't the last
possible option.  He was familiar with and considerate to most of the boys,
but overall I thought he was too much when a little less might do.

	"You any good with that thing?" Dart asked while I was considering
other things.

	"My board?" I said after taking time to analyze the question.

	"Yeah, I don't ask questions like that about a guys other skills.
Lighten up, will you.  We'll find out about that later on... if you want
that is."

	"I will?  Okay!  I'm as good as anyone as far as my board is
concerned."  We were running into language problems again but I winged it
and waited and followed the clues.

	"Can you keep up with In-Lines?"

	"Haven't had any trouble so far," I said.

	"My girl isn't home until late.  I can show you around some.  If
you want?  I got time."

	"She's not?  You do?

	"These guys'll be bullshittin' each other until the mall cops run
them off here.  I can only take so much of that."

	"You lead the way.  I'll keep up."

	He was up and skating before I finished my words.  As I hit my
board he yelled, "Later, Ace," but never looked back.

	I propelled myself along, staying close to him as we flew.  He
wasn't quite as spastic as Gordo, but he was every bit as fast.