Date: Sat, 7 Jan 2006 00:52:00 EST
From: Dayzedff@aol.com
Subject: Irreversible Behavior

There we were, sitting on my bed, just the two of us. He looked so hot
without his shirt on. He was athletic so his muscles were defined in all
the right places and really made me weak. He touched my shoulder.

"I'm glad you brought me here," he said.

"You are?" I asked in reply.

"Yeah, I've wanted this moment to come since I first talked to you."

"What are you saying?"

"Justin, I think I-Justin are you listening to me?  Justin?  Justin!"

His voice changed and took on a female tone.  My eyes opened when I heard
laughter. There I was, in the middle of English, being asked a question by
Mrs. Brown. What happened? Why aren't we in my room anymore? Then I
realized it, I was daydreaming.

"Mr. Ryan, do you know the question or not?" Mrs. Brown demanded.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Brown. I don't think I was paying attention."

"Me neither. Perhaps you should get some sleep at night. You would be more
focused and able to apply yourself. Lauren, could you answer the question
please?"

'What a bitch,' I thought to myself. Who cares. Mrs. Brown didn't mean a
damn thing to me. The only thing that mattered was sitting on the other
side of the classroom. I look over and admire the features I have grown to
desire. His name was Drew. In my opinion, he was the hottest guy in the
school. Okay, maybe not the hottest, but the only one I was interested in.
He was about 6 foot. I would guess that he weighed around 165. His dark
hair, those brown eyes, that smile that can brighten my day in the darkest
times, they were all that made me want him more. He was so sweet to
everyone, no matter who you were. He didn't care. Now that I think of it, I
have never seen the kid make fun of anyone to his or her face. Unlike his
friends, he didn't like hurting people's feelings. He was so nice. And the
fact that he had an awesome body didn't hurt matters. My constant
daydreaming ended at the sound of a bell on the intercom.

"Okay, class," Mrs. Brown said. "Go home and read chapters 4 through 7. We
will discuss what you read tomorrow in class. Have a good day. Mr. Ryan,
may I see you for a moment?"

I was on my way out when I heard this request. I could do nothing but sigh
and turn around to face her.

"Yes, Mrs. Brown?"

"Justin, I am beginning to grow worried with your recent test scores. Now,
at the beginning of the year, you were a stellar student, one of the best
in the class. As of late, I feel that you are not giving all of your
potential."

"I don't know what's wrong. I just can't find the time to read this story
and it's hurting my grade because you quiz us frequently. And I understand
that's not your fault. I should be reading the book more and I will. Now
that winter track has started, my schedule has just been messed up. Once I
get into routine, I'll be able to fit in this book. I promise."

Would she believe me? Of course she would, I have that charm.

"All right. I hope so. You know that once your grade drops below a D,
extracurricular activities are prohibited? You are at a C right now and you
should be concerned. I know I am."

"Thank you. May I leave now?"

She nodded and I walked out of the classroom. I looked for him, but he was
nowhere in sight. I wanted to go back inside and wring Mrs. Brown's neck.
Without much else to do, I decided to give up and walk to fourth period.

Fourth period seemed like it took forever, but soon, I heard the dismissal
bell and that feeling of freedom, even if only for a day, returned to me. I
walked out to the parking lot, towards my car to get my track bag. I
couldn't believe what I saw. There he was. It was Drew. He was parked right
beside my car. Was this fate? Were we meant to be together? I fumbled to
get my keys, feeling the nerves increasing as I got closer to him.

"Hey Drew," I managed to say while searching my pocket for the keys.

"What's up, Justin? You staying after school to lift?" I love the way he
said my name. It made my body quiver.

"No. I have track. And then, right afterwards, I have to go home and start
reading this book. She wants to discuss chapters four through seven
tomorrow and I haven't even begun to read it."

"Good one. Read it, dude. It's actually not that bad of a book, I'm on
chapter 10."

Did I forget to mention that he was smart? He was an over achiever for
sure. I still do not see why he is in our class instead of an honors class,
but I am glad he is not.

"Not everyone is excelled and motivated to do more than they should like
you, Drew," I said in a sarcastic tone. It was fun to make fun of him, but
at the same time, only be joking around about it.

"Shut up, dude, or you will pay."

"I'm shaking."

"You should be," he laughed. He looked down at my new silver Honda Civic
that was given to me by my father the previous night. He smiled that same
smile that made my knees weak. I felt like I was going to fall at that
moment. "Nice ride. Is this your new car?"

"Yes it is. I got it last night. It's sort of a late birthday present."

"Late birthday present indeed. Your birthday was in November, wasn't it?"

"You remembered. Yeah, this is Dad's way of saying sorry for forgetting.
Dish out about twenty thousand dollars and everything will be okay."

"It would be for me. I am just kidding," he said realizing that my father
and I did not have the best relationship.

"I know you were. Hey, I better get going. Coach Spears is going to kill
me. I will talk to you later, Drew."

I hated breaking away from conversation with him, but I knew that I would
be running extra lapse if I didn't.

"All right. See you, J-Dog," he said in his playful manner as he reached in
his trunk and pulled out his workout bag, using the nickname he gave me
last year. I loved it.

As I got into my backseat to reach for my bag, I watched him walk down to
the gym behind the school. It was like a trance that I could not break away
from. He just had this thing about him that hooked me in. He is sort of a
country boy, but has a certain style about him that makes him irresistible
and a total catch. I loved it. I sighed, shut my car door and walked down
to the track.

An hour had passed at practice and we were running lapse because of the
poor sportsmanship at the last practice. There was a fight between two guys
that was totally unnecessary. I'll never understand why typical high school
jocks have to fight with each other over the stupidest things. Drew was
never like that. I felt myself thinking of him again, even with something
that had nothing to do with him. He was hooked on my brain.

As I ran around the track, I saw the girl runners stretching in the grass.
They were looking at me, smiling and talking amongst themselves. Several
waved to me, and being the nice person I am, I waved back. They had no idea
that I had no interest in them at all. I couldn't blame them for looking at
me. I know I'll sound arrogant and full of myself, but I believe that I am
very good looking. Standing at 5'11" and weighing 145 lbs, I had this aura
about me that many male models have. I was always told that I should do
modeling after high school because I would be a catch. I had that model
look. Short brown hair, piercing green eyes, pearly whites and not a
scratch of acne appeared on my face, ever. I was hot stuff if I do say so
myself.

That night, I was going over my notes that I copied for the English quiz I
had to take because I skipped school. I was so sick of this class and I
stared at the book I was supposed to read. How can I read this? I hate this
class and I'm not in the mood to read a stupid book. So instead of sucking
it up and reading the book, I walked over my computer and signed onto AIM.
I looked over my buddy list. I had a lot of people on the list that I had
to narrow it down and categorized them into two groups: girls and guys. I
had a lot more girl friends than guys. Guys at my school, it's not like I
didn't get along with them, but they were always too immature for me to
hold a conversation with them. I couldn't stand hanging out with the guys
and rarely ever did. There were a few that would make jokes and say that I
was gay for always hanging out with the girls, but they had no idea that
they were actually right. There was always one guy friend that I could talk
to all the time. He was at number one in the guy's section. It was Drew.
Several people began IMing me and I would reply back. Then, I was shocked
to see one certain IM box appear on my screen.

DREWyou87: what's up loser

DREWyou87: get any closer to catching up with me in that book?

I smiled every time I would receive an instant message from him. It was
like he wanted to talk to me, not the other way around. I loved it.

JustINtimE87: haha, not really

DREWyou87: get offline and start reading kid

JustINtimeE87: alright dad lol

DREWyou87: hey im just looking out for you

DREWyou87: and your grade

JustINtimE87: well thanks but don't worry about me

JustINtimE87: i'll get it done

DREWyou87: are you excited tomorrow's Friday?

JustINtimE87: soooooooo excited!!!

DREWyou87: any plans?

JustINtimE87: not really...I wanted to go see King Kong this weekend...it's
like everyone has seen it but me, but idk

DREWyou87: not everyone

DREWyou87: I haven't seen it and I want to too

JustINtimE87: then lets go haha

Now when I said that, I was totally joking. I had no intentions or
expectations of going to the movies with Drew. What happened next shocked
the hell out of me.

DREWyou87: what time do you want me to pick you up?

At first, I had to double take and look to see if I was reading right. Did
Drew just ask me when I wanted him to pick me so that we could go to the
movies, together? I was not seeing things. There it was, in words. He was
asking me what time to pick me up. I guess it took a while for me to
answer.

DREWyou87: or not?

JustINtimE87: sorry...umm are we really going to go?

DREWyou87: well if you really don't want to, just say so...I was just
asking cause you said you wanted to go and I want to go see it, but if you
don't want to...

No! I was about to miss up on the greatest opportunity I have ever had in
my life. I have the chance to go to a movie with my crush.

JustINtimE87: no I do want to go

JustINtimE87: how does 8 sound?

DREWyou87: awesome

DREWyou87: we'll talk about it more tomorrow

DREWyou87: I'm going to go now...unlike you I do my homework

DREWyou87: j/k...ttyl

DREWyou87 has just signed off at 9:31 PM.

I stared at my computer screen in shock. I had to pinch myself to see if I
was dreaming. Drew just asked me to go the movies with him.

"I'm not dreaming. This is for real!" I said to myself in pure
ecstasy. "Drew just asked me out on a..."

Suddenly, I realized something that brought my high down. It hit me like a
ton of bricks. I was making such a big deal over going to the movies with a
straight friend. As much as I hated the fact, Drew was straight. Sure he's
never had a girlfriend, but I knew that he was straight. He was only a
silly crush of mine that would never escalate to anything else. It didn't
matter to me. Drew and I were going to the movies tomorrow and I couldn't
be more than happy.