Warning: Si hoc legere scis, nimiam eruditionem habes. I'll explain later.
It's probably okay to read this story though, as long as you understand that eventually it will involve sex between under-aged boys.
Or at least it might if Lucas ever gets his nerve up. But enough already.
In the end Lucas said okay. I want you to know that much in advance.
But he almost said no. He didn't want to go out on the limb again, not with someone he cared about. It would have been easy to rationalize. “Sure, I want sex, but Jedidiah is more important to me than that.” It sounded good, and honestly, it would have been the truth.
Or at least it could have been. He knew what he was hoping for, but if it messed things up with Jedidiah, it wasn't worth it. And if he came out, then he'd be as much as asking, right?
But keeping it hid would be like living a lie, and he could only do that for so long. (Good point.)
He found it a little more difficult to rationalize doing it with Kyle, though, because it wasn't like he was doing it solely for Jedidiah.
But he didn't know if he'd ever be doing it with Jedidiah, now did he? And it wasn't like he was a virgin - and besides, if by chance there was any hope of Jedidiah being the one he was hoping for, well, then he'd tell him everything, but since he didn't know that...
... And if you really thought about it, he WAS doing it for Jedidiah: he was sacrificing himself, that's what he was doing...
So in the end he said okay. It took awhile longer to finally reach that point as his rationalizations became more creative – he would do it with Kyle so he wouldn't feel as much need to do it with Jedidiah, that was decent - but what clinched it was realizing that he was going to be calling the shots. All night! They'd probably end up going to sleep sooner or later, but up until then... well, first he'd...
“Oh good. I don't even know where to start.”
“No wait. I do know!” Lucas cleared his throat and asked, “Trust me?”
“About keeping your end of the bargain?”
“Yeah, I guess you'll have to trust me on that too. And I will, okay? Don't know why it's such a big deal, but I should've already, so I will. Next week. But I'm talking about tonight. You trust me?”
“Yeah... I guess.” So we gonna play games, are we? That might be interesting. So why not? We can play games. ... “Don't guess you'll get too rough. ... Will you?”
Trying to be enigmatic, Lucas smiled faintly. “Probably not. ... So we're on... starting now.” Then he coolly nodded at their waiter on the other side of the room. “Why, yes, I do want a refill. I've been trying to get your attention for ten damn minutes here.”
Then, trying to act like Michael Corleone in The Godfather, Lucas sipped his coffee and said nothing. But he was calmly sizing things up. Or at least that's the impression he was hoping to convey.
“What?” Kyle finally asked.
“Nothing. Just finishing my coffee.” “So maybe I'll be Buford T. Justice, then.”
Lucas sighed and put his cup down. “You got a hard-on?”
“I did, but it took you so long to make your mind up, I've about lost it.”
“But you admit that you were in... a state of arousal? In this restaurant? A public facility? You admit this?”
“... Yeah. It wasn't like anybody saw it, but-”
“Well, good buddy, I am placing your butt under arrest. It's against the law to get aroused in public, don't you know that? So we're going to pay a visit to the station house. We got ways of dealing with people like you. ... And don't you even think about asking for no fancy pants lawyer, `cause that's not how we do things. ... You catch my drift here, boy?”
“I guess so,” said Kyle.
“So let's go,” said Lucas.
Once in their room, Lucas closed the door, made sure it was locked, then remembered the “Do Not Disturb” sign... but finally he guessed everything was set. He was tempted to play with the curtains some more, “But not yet. Later, maybe.” He squared his shoulders.
“In here,” he said curtly, and with that he ushered Kyle into the bathroom. He didn't need to close the door, but out of force of habit, he did. “So how you like our new mirrors?” he wondered.
“I guess they're okay,” Kyle mumbled.
“Good. Good. Glad they meet your approval. Okay, strip.”
It wasn't an unexpected request. If they were going to have sex, he was going to be naked, but even so Kyle was feeling very awkward again. This wasn't like Friday afternoon, not with Lucas casually leaning against the door watching him, it wasn't, and he still didn't like it too much. Undressing in the dark and quickly crawling into bed he could deal with, but this-
“We're not shy, are we?” Lucas smirked, “You'll have to get over that.”
Kyle could still feel the color coming to his face. It had to be done, though. A deal was a deal. He started fumbling with his clothes.
“Get a move on,” said Lucas.
And so finally, Kyle was down to his boxers. He took a deep breath, pushed them down and stepped out of them. In a way, it was a relief to have that all over with.
“Socks,” said Lucas implacably.
Damn it. Kyle knelt down first on one knee, then the other and hurriedly pulled his socks off. If anything, he was even more embarrassed. If you're going to play the game right, it's a help if you can get completely into your role, but in spite of Lucas' act, he wasn't sure what that role was.
Well, that made two of them, because Lucas was making things up as he went along and was still having trouble deciding what he wanted to do first. Kyle made a nice slave, though. He wasn't bad looking, but he wasn't in his adorable class either, and that meant he'd be less inclined to worry about hurting his feelings. A little less, anyway. But he WAS going to fuck him. That was one thing he'd never experienced: he'd been on the receiving end often enough, but he'd never been the pitcher. Not even close, so as far as he was concerned, he was about to take a momentous step. He was almost sure of it.
But he was still nervous. “Okay, hand me your clothes. I don't think you'll be needing them. ... Now, don't you be going anywhere, hear? Be right back.”
“I don't know if I need a rubber or not. Shit! Well... okay, where's my K-Y, damn it? ... Oh, here it is. Will you calm DOWN? Just take some deep breaths and... okay, okay, let's go.”
There was still a tremor in his voice, but he managed to carry it off. “Okay, lean over that counter and spread your legs.”
Kyle swallowed hard, but quickly assumed the position. Or at least he guessed it was the right position, because it had only happened to him once and that was only due to a misunderstanding. It was because of his not knowing what the other guy had in mind before they started, that and being in an isolated location, but his initial impression was that it left a great deal to be desired. Wondering if you're going to be dead once it's over can be distracting.
“You just wouldn't believe the places people try to hide contraband these days. So... When you gonna be getting some hair on your ass, anyway? Sheesh!” Lucas was only saying that, though. He thought Kyle had a very nice ass. It was soft and pliable. Really, it was nice. It was soft and warm and-
“I don't kn- uh!”
There was some resistance at first, but all at once Lucas' middle finger slid in. A bit breathlessly, “Just relax and push back. Got that?” He didn't really sound like Michael Corleone and he also didn't sound like Sheriff Buford T. Justice: mostly he sounded like Lucas Mysinger at age eleven and a half, on the verge of going someplace he'd never been. He hadn't been completely sure until Kyle did start pushing pack, then he knew. He's going to let me! He- IS!
“Boy, you're tight! Hmm. Well, let's see here...” Actually, he had no way of knowing if Kyle was tight or not because he had no prior experience. He could hardly be objective when it came to his own bottom, so he honestly didn't know, but it sounded like something he should say. Because after all, it had been said to him on several occasions.
“Ohh!” said Kyle, a bit breathlessly. (Lucas had located the magic button.) “Oh... I'm about to get... fucked, aren't I?”
“Um... yeah, I think so.” It was hot in there! Kind of slippery and soft... “It's hardly like it's your first time... right?”
“It's... shit... oh boy... it's... um... shit! ... my second.”
“... So... well, the first time... well, how long ago was that?” (He hadn't pulled his finger back out at that point, but he was wondering if he should. Sort of.)
“About...” (Lucas was still rubbing on his prostate, but he was being gentle) ... “a year or... so ago. Oh, shit!”
“So... you want me to?”
“Yes! ... I don't know.”
Lucas sighed, and pulled his finger out. “Well, we got all night. So we can talk about it later, okay?”
“So you're going to quit your county mountie routine and make like you're my shrink or something?”
“Look, Kyle, you start getting petulant, and I'll get room service to send me up some handcuffs and a whip. ... Your butt's still under arrest, so turn around and face me. Hands on top of your head. NOW!”
And so, a bit red-faced, Kyle did so. Because by then he was fully erect. It was just above horizontal, but it was impressive. The circumference didn't look to be much bigger around than Lucas', but the LENGTH...
“Maybe it's just that you expect it to be bigger around. But it has to be more than eight inches. I'm almost sure of it!”
Lucas snickered. “Nice. So I take it that it wasn't a totally horrible experience, then.”
“I know about my prostate, okay? I've poked things up there enough, so I know it can be a good thing, all right? ... So, if you want... I mean, I guess you-”
“Time out, okay? Time. ... The thing is, I haven't ever... well, I haven't ever fucked, okay? So if it's all the same, I'd like for it to last a little while, and right now, it wouldn't. But it can be awesome. Least, that's my opinion. So I'd just as soon you get something out of it too, that okay? You don't mind, do you? ... Now then. Time in again. So... How long is that... well, your dick. How long is it? I'm just curious.”
“I haven't ever measured it.”
“You haven't... you're kidding, right? I mean, why...” (“Room service? Could you please send me up a ruler?”) ... “Well, anyway... Okay. Jerk off. Starting now.”
“But... I... well, I... you want me to-”
“Well, I'll turn my head, then. That all right?”
Kyle sighed. “Oh shit,” he said quietly, but it wasn't too long until his breath started getting a little ragged.
“So,” asked Lucas while keeping his head turned, “getting close?”
“Getting... there... this is getting weirder and weirder, you know that?”
“Well, just let me know when you're almost there, okay?”
“Um... pant pant ... I think-”
“That was quick! I'm proud of you son” - (snicker) - “but hold on a second, all right? Don't be moving it around anymore, just hold on, can you do that?”
“But-”
Then, without warning, Lucas turned and looked. And that's not all he did. He just thought it would be a neat trick to without warning switch roles entirely and the way he looked at it, their weapons needed to be... well, discharged. He didn't want Kyle losing it while he was still trying to get it in, now did he? No, he wanted to draw everything out, it's more enjoyable that way. He wasn't expecting Kyle to last long right at that very moment... but he was expecting him to last a little longer than he did.
Actually, Kyle had been just seconds away: a couple more seconds and it would have been flying up the tube and there would have been no WAY, but as it was, while the signal had been sent, if Lucas could have just waited a minute, Kyle might have been able to maintain. Not for long, but at least for longer than he did. But Lucas didn't do that. No, he just dropped to his knees and said, “Okay, I'll take over. Now let go of it.”
“But-”
“I said, let go.” Lucas' only previous experience with an uncircumcised model was one that he didn't want to dwell on. It wasn't the dick so much as the person it had been attached to. So he didn't want to think too much about it, but he thought Kyle's was interesting. He was wondering if he could sort of push his tongue up under the foreskin. He guessed he probably could, just a little, and he was really looking forward to it. And of course he also wanted to see just how far down he could go. He was fairly sure he could get it all... but at any rate, he knocked Kyle's hand away and it went off. They were both fairly experienced, but they were still shocked. Both of them were. Kyle, because he'd just shot off in Lucas' face... and actually, Lucas was shocked for pretty much the same reason.
He sputtered, “I thought... you... well, couldn't you have... Okay, that does it. I'm getting me a whip. ... I mean, damn!”
Kyle started, “I couldn't-”
“Yeah, well...” Lucas wiped at his face and then grinned tentatively. “I want a redo on that, okay? ... You know, there's a lot! Holy-”
Then he decided that he might as well taste it before it got cold. “Not bad,” he observed. “But anyway... I think I need to be cleaned up a bit. So if you'll be so kind as to undress me, I suppose I'll get into the shower... and you can wash me, okay? That sound all right?”
“Yeah, well, I guess I could clean up a little, too.”
“You just worry about me. ... Once I'm satisfied... I might clean you up... It'll be better that way, probably... so I might... but... well, let's get on with it.”
Making like he was a prince was a good one. Especially when Kyle was on his knees sucking him off. Lucas didn't last very long either, but at least he had it inserted properly. Kyle was good at it and knew exactly what to do. Lucas didn't even have to ask him to finger fuck him while he was at it, he just started doing it.
Then, once recovered and dried off, they crawled into bed and watched TV for awhile. They didn't talk much at first, but there was a good deal of stroking and feeling each other off, so it didn't seem likely that they would be paying attention to the TV for much longer.
But Kyle did say something which at the time only seemed to be in passing.
“Wouldn't it be weird if they had cameras in this room? ... That's happened before, you know. I mean, I've heard about it happening, so you can't ever be too sure it won't happen again sometime. But wouldn't that be weird? You being on camera like that?”
“Well, I sort of doubt if there are going to be any hidden cameras in here. This ain't no adult motel, this is high class. So-”
“You don't blackmail trailer park trash, you do the rich fuckers.”
“Well, okay, fine. But if they're taping us, and we find out, then WE'RE the ones who will be doing the blackmailing, because we're underage. So I might be quiet about it... well, I guess if I didn't even know about it in the first place, then... well, then I wouldn't know about, that's all... no biggie, but anyway-”
“So you're saying that it wouldn't bother you if you knew that some guy in Japan or some place was watching you and getting his rocks off?”
“Well, if I knew about it... I'd want some money. Tons. But other than that, I guess it's better if he likes what he's seeing. Having somebody see me and lose their lunch, well, I wouldn't want to know about that, but if I turn them on, well, cool! ... It's not like I'm ever going to know anything about it, right? So why should it bother me?”
“This might not be so hard after all,” thought Kyle.
Meanwhile, in the mountains of North Carolina, another situation was developing. But since Jedidiah, Kelly and Katon ended up in the same tent – just them and no one else – this shouldn't come as a surprise. The only curious thing about it was that things didn't start getting really and truly interesting until Wednesday night. On the very same night Lucas and Kyle were at it, they were headed in that direction as well, even if they weren't completely aware of it at the time.
But Saturday night, for awhile Jedidiah figured the trip wasn't going to take place anyway. He should have known better, though. Just because Brother Jonas got rear-ended at a stop light in Knoxville and ended up in the hospital was no reason to call it off. Policies are one thing, but money is something else. And Scout trips cost money and not only that, the deposit was non-refundable.
Brother Jonas was their regular Scoutmaster. Well, he was on his way back after having some maintenance done on one of the two vans, when KA-RASH, that particular van was totaled and while Brother Jonas' injuries weren't life-threatening, they were going to incapacitate him for a couple of weeks. Of course Brother Jonas was of the Mormon persuasion. The Mayville LDS church was more than happy to sponsor a Scout troop, but that came with a stipulation: the head Scoutmaster had to be a Mormon. But aside from that, well, in Mayville there weren't all that many Mormons. So they were a bit more ecumenical about things, and that would explain how Clint Weaver, the assistant Scoutmaster (and a fine man, even if he was an Episcopalian), ended up in charge. It was a very ecumenical group. They had Presbyterians, Methodists, two Nazarenes, one Unitarian and some Baptists. And almost all of the Baptists had the ecumenical spirit and weren't prone to telling the Episcopalians, Mormons, Methodists, Presbyterians, Nazarenes and that poor Unitarian boy that they were all going to hell if they didn't change their ways. You try telling a Nazarene he's going straight to Hell, and he'll tell YOU... well, maybe I shouldn't get into that.
But as it turned out, there was a Baptist Eagle Scout and two Baptist Senior Scouts who didn't have that ecumenical spirit. Only they hadn't let on about it, and that would explain how Jedidiah, Kelly and Katon ended up in the same car with them. With one of the vans out of commission, they had to make do as best they could and Richard, being an Eagle Scout, seemed trustworthy enough. And it is true that neither Richard or his two friends said anything about how Mormonism was a false religion, but during that whole trip – two and a half very long hours – Richard insisted on having some Christian talk radio station on. And this station didn't seem to have an ecumenical outlook on things, either. As far as Jedidiah, Kelly and Katon were concerned, it was a lo-ng trip, but if nothing else, they did know where the three Baptists stood on orgies. And that became a very important consideration when they just HAD to pitch their tent right next to theirs.
The BSA frowns on having orgies as well, so their expectations never were all that high, but having Richard, Virgil and Buster in a tent right next to them almost clinched it. It didn't look like they were going to get to do much of anything. Not that they were thinking about anything in particular, but still, you just can't ever tell.
Well, at least the camp wasn't too regimented, so they got a chance to discuss things Tuesday afternoon. They were fishing off by themselves. But not unexpectedly, Katon had something else on his mind.
“I'm tired of this,” he said for about the fifth time, “I haven't even had a nibble yet. So you guys want to... well, you know, like Friday? Um-”
“If you're thinking what I THINK you're thinking about, I don't think it's a very good idea,” interrupted Kelly. “If we got caught... I don't know. Getting sent home, not good. Not good at all.”
“Yeah, he's right,” agreed Jedidiah with great sincerity. Getting sent home would not be a good thing for him, either.
“Well... what about tonight, then?” Katon wasn't ready to give up yet.
“With those... turkeys right next to us? No, I don't think that's a good idea, either.” Kelly really wanted to let loose a string of cuss words in reference to Richard and his two friends, but out of consideration for Jedidiah, he restrained himself. But in case it's been forgotten, Kelly and Katon weren't true Mormons. They went to church because their parents made them go, and while it wasn't the awfullest thing in the world, they still weren't too convinced about it.
In fact, Katon wasn't convinced at all. “Well, once they go to sleep, we could... well, you know-”
“No, it's too big of a risk. Shit, if they caught on, they'd be acting like we were sucking each other off or something.” Kelly paused. It might have sounded like he was closing the door, but as it turned out, he was doing nothing of the sort.
“Hey, Jed,” he finally wondered, “anybody ever... well... like... anybody ever suck... your dick?”
And right then and there Jedidiah started getting stiff, but he just shrugged. Finally he managed, “... What do you mean?”
“Yeah, what DO you mean?” chimed in Katon. He didn't sound judgmental, just curious. Very much so.
Kelly quickly looked around - just to be on the safe side – then lowered his voice and said, “Well, if you guys will promise not to tell anybody...”
“I promise,” said Katon, impatiently, “You promise, Jedidiah?”
“Yeah, sure,” said Jedidiah.
“Well, okay then. Katon knows about this part too. See, right after we moved, nobody was home except us. Me, Katon and Kyle. So me and Katon just happened to be walking past Kyle's room and-”
“I'm not sure if we should tell him about that,” cut in Katon. “And anyway, what's that got to do with... you don't think that... I mean... well, just because those guys in that movie he was watching were... um... well, that don't mean that Kyle...”
But Katon had already let the cat out of the bag and all they could do at that point was to swear that they wouldn't tell anyone else about it.
So to summarize, Kyle thought he was home alone and he also thought his door was locked, but it wasn't and Kelly and Katon, wondering what all those noises were, walked in on Kyle while he was watching a gay porno tape. And he was whacking off. So everybody was very surprised, horrified, mortified and just about anything else you can think of, but after Kyle told them he WAS gay – while leaving out the details – they promised not to say anything to anyone else about it. So their parents were still unaware of Kyle's orientation. And neither of them had ever said anything to anyone else up until Jedidiah entered the picture and Kelly wouldn't have said anything to him either, but then Kyle's pants fell down and of course that eventually led to everybody's hormones acting up.
But at any rate, after catching Kyle in the act, Katon's initial reaction was that he thought it was silly, but Kyle was still his older brother, so he didn't care. And at first, he didn't. He wasn't even curious.
Kelly's initial reaction... well, his first reaction was that it was fairly gross, but afterwards, it varied from gross, to he wasn't ever going to do anything like that himself but Kyle was still his brother, to “I wonder what it feels like?” Only wondering what it felt like made him feel very guilty. Although that could be attributed to what he heard in junior high and he wasn't always at school.
He wouldn't have really said anything to anybody, but one night when it was just him and Kyle... well... He just wanted to know what it felt like, that's all. Just once. That's all, just one time, so he talked Kyle into it. Just one TIME, just to know what it felt like, and he'd never ask again. And that really was it. Just that one time, but finally Kyle blew him and once it was over... they both felt bad. Kelly did like the getting sucked off part, but afterwards, he felt... well, sometimes he felt pretty bad about it. He didn't really have to feel like a low-down snake, you know, but he did. Sometimes.
Because the thing was, now Kelly was thinking that he might be gay, too! He'd been wondering about some of the thoughts that had been popping into his head out of nowhere, but then he had to make fun of Kyle which led to... well, you know, all that other stuff... and not just once, but three times! But jerking another boy off was what gay boys did. Even letting another boy do it to you made you gay. (A few junior high boys said that just jerking yourself off was possibly queer, because you should be getting a girl to do it for you. That's what real men did.)
But junior high misinformation can lead to unexpected results. At junior high age, mutual masturbation isn't uncommon, but being told otherwise led Kelly to the conclusion that he was possibly gay. So believing that about himself, whether it was true or not, could have been fairly catastrophic, only he thought Lucas was cool. And Jedidiah was nice and fun to be around, but they'd both done it as well. So that made them gay, too. So he just wouldn't worry about it so much. It was fun. It felt great! But IF he was gay, or even if he was only going through a phase – he'd read something about that at the library in one of those “what's happening to me” books – well...
It was better than feeling like shit about it. And potentially it was a lot more fun as well.
Katon wasn't as conflicted as Kelly was. Not to mention Lucas and Kyle... and you might as well throw Jedidiah into the mix as well... but even so, he did have one secret and if everybody else was going to start talking...
He'd recently confessed to Kyle that he didn't like girls. But he'd also wondered how you went about jerking off. He'd heard about it, “But how do you do it? Could you show me how?”
He was fibbing. He was lying through his teeth in fact, because he knew exactly how to go about it, but at least he hadn't implied anything that could have been taken as a threat. He was persuasive, though. He was enthusiastic, that's what he was, and this... getting sucked off, well... it didn't sound REAL bad, so maybe...
Kyle was hoping his brothers wouldn't start comparing notes, and if his pants hadn't fallen down Friday afternoon, maybe...
Oh well. It would have happened sooner or later, no matter what.
Kelly didn't bring up the subject of blow jobs thinking about having Kyle do it to all of them, that wasn't it. Even though he could have just said that some guy did it to him once and it felt good. Well, he'd let it slip out, but what he had in mind was maybe they could eventually do each other. Him, Jedidiah and Katon. He was trying to sneak up on it, but he wasn't sure about going first, so he was testing the water. You bring the subject up, then you see if it leads anywhere. And if it led to a good place, maybe later on, Kyle could be initiated as well. And Lucas. Especially Lucas. If he was interested, of course, and after Friday it seemed possible.
So at first Jedidiah was interested. Obviously he didn't know exactly what Kelly was trying to say, but he was interested. Only as more details came out, he started having second thoughts. He wasn't sure if he liked Kelly all that much. Then it began to dawn on him that Kelly felt sort of bad about it, but at the same time... “Now wait a minute. What IS he trying to say?” Saying something without actually saying it doesn't always work out as well as you hope it will.
But still, Jedidiah was gradually getting the picture, or at least he thought he was. Well, number one: He wasn't going first. No. And number two, if by chance Lucas was interested, well, he wanted it to be just between the two of them first. Sex games were fun, and he wasn't ruling that possibility out entirely. He just wanted there to be something more that would be between the two of them and no one else. He didn't know if it was possible to have both the sex games and that special something else; come to think of it, he wasn't even sure what that “other thing” even was...
But no matter what happened this week, once they got back home, he needed to talk to Lucas. And he would, if he could only figure out how to go about it. Darn!
Well, nothing would probably happen this week anyway. And if by chance it did, he still wasn't going first.
Even in July, it can get fairly cool at night in the mountains. About 5,000 feet up, yeah, it can get a bit nippy and it did Wednesday night, down into the forties, in fact. So all three of them decided it would be a good idea if they zipped two sleeping bags together and all of them could get in together and snuggle up close, and that way they'd conserve body heat. It's in the Boy Scout Manual, okay? So they were snuggled up together and while it's possible that this could have led on to something else, it also might not have. Because with them in just their jockey shorts, it felt pretty nice anyway and with those holier-than-thou Baptists in the next tent, it's possible that they could have settled for that and nothing more. I mean, it really felt nice.
But then Katon stage-whispered to Jedidiah, “Hey! I got an idea, let's take our shorts off. You wanna?”
And with a lot of giggling, that's what they did. “Umm! That feels nice!” whispered Katon. “You think so?”
“Yeah,” replied Jedidiah. But they hadn't really done anything else and again, they might not have.
Well, sleeping naked to conserve body heat isn't in the manual – unless you get your clothes soaking wet, in that case, it's probably all right as long as you don't entertain any unmanly thoughts about it – but unfortunately, all at once, Richard was shining his flashlight in their eyes. Maybe he had a listening device installed (or maybe he just happened to be walking by) but at any rate, this didn't look too good. Because the three Scout leaders had all gone to a nearby all-night cafe to discuss... I guess manly things and to get away from all those brats for awhile, leaving Richard and his cohorts in charge and that would explain how Jedidiah, Kelly and Katon ended up tied to a tree. Naked. They started out without their clothes on, so they could just stay like that for awhile, huffed Richard.
“Yeah, right you are about that,” chimed in Buster who was dumb as a stump, “See how you like it!... Hey, Virgil, you got the spray paint?”
Needless to say, Jedidiah and the Jeddrys didn't like it very much.
“We were just trying to stay warm!” protested Kelly.
“Yeah, in the same sleeping bag, I suppose,” scoffed Buster.
“You dumb shit, haven't you ever heard of conserving your body heat? That's all we were doing, you dumb heads!” Obviously Lucas and the Jeddrys were starting to have an influence on Jedidiah. But being tied naked to a big tree in the middle of the night also had a lot to do with his language and that was before Virgil showed up with the spray paint. Virgil and Buster were about to die laughing. They spray painted red targets on their butts, that's what they did, so yup, if you're retarded, that's pretty damn funny.
They intended to leave them out there for about an hour. But that's not what they told them, no, they wanted them to think it was going to be for the rest of the night. Naked, tied to a tree. And it was cold and there were probably bears and wild cats and vampire bats and God only knows what else...
So when Katon finally managed to work his hands free after about ten minutes, they... well, they went back to their tent. I mean, jeez! It was COLD out there. Richard, Virgil Buster and the Scout leaders and the rest of the whole damn troop could all go straight to hell, but they were going to get warm and that meant snuggling up together in that big zipped-together sleeping bag again. So there! But they guessed it might be better if they were fully clothed. Except for one problem.
“We can't put on anything else because we'll get paint all over it, too!” wailed Jedidiah.
“He's right!” said Katon, worriedly.
“Shit, we can't even get into our sleeping bags until it dries,” added Kelly.
“You know, I really hate those dickheads,” hissed Jedidiah. Friday night he'd been uptight when Kelly and Katon kept singing “Losing My Religion”, now not only was he close to losing HIS- “Yeah, I hate those dickheads, too,” said Katon – he was also being a bad influence. Prior to then, Katon hadn't been one to use bad language all that often.
But at any rate, once they got back to their tent, Richard's tent was mysteriously empty, so that took care of the clothes problem, they just helped themselves to whatever they could find. Nothing came close to fitting because Richard and his friends were all on the large side, in fact, all three of them could probably have wedged themselves into a pair of Virgil's pants, but at least until the paint was dry, it was a lot better than being naked. Because they were freezing their stupid butts off, okay?
They would have stayed longer and totally trashed the tent; they would have thrown all their clothes away, smashed their lanterns, broken all their fishing rods and peed on their food supplies, but since they were in a hurry thinking that they were still in trouble whether they deserved to be or not, aside from grabbing some clothes and swiping an air pistol, they decided to leave well enough alone.
“But if any of them try to come in on us again, I'll shoot them!” said Katon, fiercely. The pistol was loaded, because he'd tried it out. PHUTTT! But no one really took him seriously.
Things started getting interesting when Clint and his two assistants returned to camp sooner than Richard expected. Clint was a bit gruff at times, and it occurred to Richard that he probably wouldn't be too pleased if he discovered that they had three naked Scouts tied to a tree. So him and Buster raced off to release them, hoping that they could somehow avoid drawing attention to themselves in the process. Richard had worked out what he was going to say, it was going to be something like, “If you think you've learned your lesson, Clint doesn't need to know anything about it. It'll just be between us, nobody else will ever know. Now, do we have a deal?” Something like that.
But imagine their horror when they discovered that Jedidiah, Kelly, and Katon weren't there anymore. Buster imagined the very worst, that there were by then three naked Boy Scouts with spray-painted bottoms running loose in the woods and they were either going to go right off the side of the mountain or get attacked by a bear... or they'd come back and tell, and knowing Clint, he'd believe them, but no matter what, he guessed it would sound better if he started hollering. “Kelly! Katon! Jedidiah! We were just kidding around! You can come out now! We won't hurt you! We PROMISE!”
And Richard was going, “Uh... Shhh! SHHH! Will you be QUIET?”
But it was too late. “Just what is going ON out here??” yelled Clint.
“Um, I told him we played a prank of them,” stammered Virgil in the background. So at least they had a head start on getting their stories straight.
Buster wailed, “But they're not HERE any more!”
“Well, they probably went back to their tent,” said Ted reasonably. Ted was one of the assistants.
“Oh. Well, I'll go check real quick” said Buster and away he went. He was dumb but fast. He played football. Halfback. And what he was hoping to do was... well, he was going to threaten them. So he thundered up to our heroes' tent, yanked the flap open and... phuttt.
It was a subdued phuttt, but Buster was anything BUT subdued. “They shot me! I've been SHOT!” (In his left thigh. A superficial flesh wound was all it amounted to.)
“Yeah, well, I'll shoot you again if you don't leave us alone! I'll shoot anybody who tries to come in here!” yelled Katon.
Worriedly, Jedidiah said, “Katon, let me have the gun, okay? We're not going to shoot anybody else, okay?”
“The hell we ain't!”
Kelly went, “Uh, Katon-”
Then everybody else showed up, so I'll briefly summarize things again. Or at least I'll try.
First, Clint tried to calm everybody down. Especially the ones holed up in the tent, and before long he got Katon to promise that he wouldn't shoot at anybody else. So far, so good. But of course then he wondered exactly what the problem WAS.
“I'll tell you what's the problem, those dickheads busted in on us and we were sharing a sleeping bag just to stay warm but they were trying to act like we were doing something else when we weren't but they took us out into the woods and tied us to a tree, that's what the problem is!” Jedidiah was still pretty upset.
“Yeah! And they made us take off all our clothes, too!” yelled Katon. That was good!
Richard only got as far as, “We did no-” and then Kelly chimed in. “And they spray painted our butts! And we weren't doing ANYTHING! ... You wanna see?” ... and with that, the flap opened and Kelly mooned everybody out there.
And then it quickly closed again and it started hitting the fan.
Richard, Buster and Virgil certainly deserved it, but even so, it is a simple fact of life nowadays: if a kid says you did something to him, whether you did or not, the adult is going to believe the kid first. And having THREE upset boys saying that, especially if one of them is the nephew of a highly respected psychiatrist... well, that's not good. And to make matters even worse, Richard and company knew they weren't entirely blameless, so it was hard for them be very convincing. You spray paint three kids' bottoms and they're not going to be upset? Yeah, right. And the evidence was right in front of everybody's eyes!
So at any rate, it soon became clear to everyone – even to Buster – that not only were they not going to be bothering anyone else for the duration of the camp-out (biggest reason being that their tent would be next to the Scout leaders' tent which was pretty far away from everybody else's), they also wouldn't be seeking retribution once back in Mayville. Not unless they wanted their smelly butts locked up for a good long while.
But even so, Clint really wanted it all swept under the rug, because all this happened on his watch. And where was he? In town, at an all-night restaurant. Him and the other two adult leaders. Can you see the potential for a lawsuit here? Worse, even?
So that is how from Wednesday night on Jedidiah, Kelly, and Katon had their tent right where it was in the first place, but without any nosy next-door neighbors to worry about. So at night they could conserve their body heat however they wanted to and one thing just led on to another and so on.
Starting with how to remove spray paint off your bottoms. Slathering some butter on the painted areas would make the paint peel right off, said Clint. But um, he'd just toss in a stick in and the boys could take care of that particular job themselves. I mean, you know how it is, right?
Butter. Bare butts. And it had to be done. Oh dear.
Well, not to worry – or at least not right away – because all of them were inexperienced and hadn't really thought much about the possibilities. Not even Jedidiah, although from his earlier experiments with carrots, he did understand the value of using a lubricant. He hadn't ever thought about using butter, though. But honest, taking things on to their logical conclusion during the camp-out... well, it was still a bit too early in the game, so even though the thought did occur to all of them at various times, nobody knew exactly how to mention it without being really weird. Or at least everybody else would probably THINK they were weird for thinking such a thing so they all kept those thoughts inside. At least at first, they did.
(Fortunately – or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it - Kyle's gay porno tape hadn't reached the truly interesting parts when Kelly and Katon walked in on him. And Kyle was never inclined to show those parts to them.)
But there were still some other possibilities.
“We could act this out sometime and it would make a good coming-of-age movie,” remarked Katon.
Kelly shot a warning glance at his little brother, but it was too late. “What do you mean? What's a coming-of-age movie, anyway?” wondered Jedidiah.
Kelly sighed. “Well, you ever see `Stand By Me'? That was a coming-of-age movie. The boys had an adventure and then at the end they understood more about growing up and all, but see-”
“I haven't ever seen it because it's R rated,” interrupted Jedidiah sadly. “I heard it was pretty good, though.”
Katon snickered, “Yeah, but if it had been made over in Europe someplace it would have been even better because they woulda got naked. See, in Europe they're more-”
“Shut up, okay?” Kelly looked slightly worried. What? There's MORE?
“Well, I was just going to say that they're more advanced over there, that's all. I mean, that's what Dr. Sandifer says, ain't it?”
“Who's Dr. Sandifer?” wondered Jedidiah.
Kelly looked at his big-mouthed little brother real hard, then started, “Well, maybe... well, later we might-”
“I think I got some paint on my dick,” giggled Katon.
Not to be outdone, Jedidiah said, “I think maybe I got a splinter in mine.”
So that changed the subject and in the end it worked out pretty good. But then a little later – that very same night, Kelly announced that he'd probably been bitten by a snake. Right there! And it was all swollen up too.
“Well, let me see it, then,” said Jedidiah. So Kelly turned over, and... “Oh my! It's swollen up bad! ... But I think mine is, too! Maybe we ALL got bitten by snakes!”
“We could die, you know?” Kelly sounded... well... sort of hopeful.
“Well, I think I must of got bit before you did even, because mine has been swollen up for a LONG time, so... well, I guess it's been good knowing you”, replied Jedidiah. But of course he was really hoping somebody would try to save his life.
In the next chapter, we will rejoin Lucas and Kyle. Is Lucas really going to try sitting on it? (He's not sure if he is or not. That might be a bit too much at first. Maybe later. Or maybe not. He hasn't made his mind up yet. But he IS going to get it in one way or another. And he'd also like to know exactly how long it is.)
And we will also rejoin the three Scouts again. I mean, not everybody is a chicken shit like Lucas is, so somebody will probably finally decide to go first. Although I'm not sure about the butter yet. And neither are the Scouts.
But who is this Dr. Sandifer and why has he been telling Kelly and Katon about European coming-of-age movies? Could this possibly have anything to do with Kyle's hidden motives?
Well, it might.
Oh, and I almost forgot. “Si hoc legere scis, nimiam eruditionem habes.” Translated, it means “If you can read this, you have too much education.”
I'm remembering now why I hated Latin so much. But I'm fairly sure I know why it's a dead language. Because it SHOULD be dead. Or at least, that's my opinion.
I was tempted to insert another foreign language warning – I mean, you can google all kinds of shit – but at any rate: “Vart tog vägen vägen? Vi åker på en åker!”
That's Swedish, you know. Well, you do now. But it means: “Where did the road go? We are traveling on a field!” You see, I thought in a way it might reflect how things have gone in my story. But I didn't until just now because I think the story is now on track. Symbolically speaking, of course, but it is, right? Mostly?
Please advise. Well, if you really want to. But anyway, be good – within reason – and again, thanks for reading.
jjjanicki@gmail.com