Hey guys, 

Wow! What a response! Anyway, keep writing me, it encourages me to continue writing.

Sam Lakes 
 

sam_lakes@hotmail.com

I guess it's my turn for me to say how great it is to watch Charlie sleep. Which is one thing about being a ghost - you don't have to sleep, eat, shit, piss, or fart! And I don't have to worry about BO or halitosis. Now I'm sure you're wondering how in the world I'm writing this story, huh? 

Well, duh! I'm a ghostwriter! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Gotcha! Ha-ha-ha! 'Course as a ghost I can't die to do anything because I'm already dead. The worst part is the 'living' tend to ignore you completely. Even that kid in the movie who said he could see dead people - he can't. Luckily, the author of this story, Sam Lakes, can see me and hear me. Well he can now anyway and that's what's important cuz otherwise you'd never know my side of this story. 

Well, if you want to know how Sam Lakes became aware of me, continue reading; if that bores you then go read another story. Just be very aware that I am a ghost, a gay teen ghost, and I might just come and give you your worst nightmare! Like all your gay friends suddenly become hetero bigots! I got a wicked sense of humor!

Ghosts like messing with the living - I think it's part of our nature - well, mine anyway. Come to think about it, I used to like to mess around with the living when I was living, particularly with Charlie. 

Well, it all started about two weeks ago, which was about two months after my death. As I say, time has very little meaning when you're looking at forever. It took about a month for Charlie and me to sort of get used to my new state of being. What a month that was! 

Charlie changed high schools. He decided that going to our high school was too much for him to deal with. I called him a wimp; he got pissed and told me to fuck off; so I left. Again I thought I was only gone for an hour or two. Nope, I was gone for a day. Needless to say he was back in my room with my dad's gun, only he was so distraught about everything. The clip was missing, thank God Mom had unloaded the gun and hidden the bullets, Charlie knows next to nothing about guns other than people who intend to kill use them.

He pulled the trigger. I giggled because the quizzical look on his face was priceless. He threw the gun at me. It went right through me and crashed into the wall behind me.

"Why are you doing this again, Charlie?" I asked.

"You left. I thought you'd left for good," he cried.

"If the roles were reversed, you-me, me-you, would you have gone for good?

"No."

"Don't do it again, Charlie."

"You don't know what it's like for me!"

"And you don't know what it's like for me! I'm the one that died! I didn't have a choice! I don't know why I stepped in front of that bullet! Maybe it was an accident, but you have no idea what it's like not to be able to feel someone, really feel them; to hold them in your arms. Playing with your hair is a pleasant sensation, but it pales when compared to a kiss, not a passionate kiss, just a simple kiss on the cheek." I knew my ghostly tears were visible, I wanted to stop and just cry but I had to let him know what I was going through.

"I want so much to kiss you, but I can't, or to feel the warmth of our bodies together; what you've been missing I've missed a thousand times more! I chose to stay to come back and to keep out of that birth-death cycle because I love you and having made that decision it is now impossible, I think, to reverse it until in your heart you are willing for me to be free to continue what is natural. So Charlie, it really fucking pisses me off, that you are so damn wrapped up in your own self-pity that you would choose to end our life because of it! That you would trap me here in this state possibly forever! Think about it!"

"I'm sorry, I just thought you'd left me, I don't want to li..."

"BULLSHIT!" I screamed, "Charlie! You have everything to live for! You're so good looking, you're rich, you're smart, but even if you were the ugliest, poorest, stupidest person on the planet you have the most precious thing in the universe - life!"

He sat on my bed looking at me, not saying anything, just looking and puzzling with his own thoughts. Finally after a while I saw a faint smile appear, then disappear.

"What if I can never let go of you?"

"Then I'll always be with you."

"What if I die accidentally?"

"I don't know."

He looked at me sadly, then looked down, "I'll try." I could see his bottom lip trembling. "I'll try to let go." This was not working out the way I wanted it to.

"Charlie, it's not that I want to leave, I don't." Now I was crying. "I just don't want you to ever leave me by taking your life. I-I just...can't...be all that I was and that hurts me...there's so much I miss...there's so much I can't give you physically..." Now who was wallowing in his own self-pity?

I looked up at Charlie through his tears; he held up his hand, half laughing and crying, "Well, Mr. Hand and Mr. Penis used to manage quite well before I met you. I just felt like it was cheating on you to let them get together again." He cocked his head to the side in a most sexy look and smile. He wiped his nose on his sleeve. Which sort of ruined the Hallmark Moment!
 

I really love Charlie, but I sort of feel trapped by his love for me. I had to do something. I had to make contact with someone. Because I was clearly confused and I needed someone I could talk to that would understand; someone Charlie liked and trusted. That someone was Sam. Jordan was cool, but Sam...Charlie adores Sam and it was clear that the feeling was mutual from a brotherly point of view. 

I had tried to contact Jordan once since dying but wasn't too successful. 

Maybe with them being together I can succeed. The two of them were at Sam's home in the family room watching TV. Well, the TV was on, but nobody was watching it. They were making out on the couch. Watching them was better than watching TV. Sam looked up and around towards me. I waved, but he didn't see me.

"Whassup?" asked Jordan.

"Oh, nothing..." replied Sam and recommenced their snogging. Sam's hands worked Jordan's shirt up, baring Jordan's chest as he started to work on his nipples and I could tell where he was going with this. For some reason I laughed. Sam stopped. Looked over in my direction, but he still didn't see me.

"What's wrong, Sam?" asked Jordan.

"I get the feeling somebody's watching me or like Mom or Dad is going to walk in any second from now."

"Wanna go upstairs?"

"Yes," said Sam as he got up.

"Can I follow you?" I asked.

"Duh, of course!" replied Sam.

"Duh, of course, what?" asked Jordan.

"You can follow me," replied Sam.

"I am," said Jordan.

"I've always wanted to say this, Sam, you have a really sexy butt," I said.

"Excuse me but you said I had a sexy butt this morning," giggled Sam.

"Well, you do," said Jordan.

I almost started laughing cuz I realized Sam could hear me and thought I was Jordan. I guess I just love messing with the living. "Do you think we could invite somebody over to watch us have sex?" I asked.

"What!" said Sam, turning to face Jordan.

"Huh? What, what?" replied Jordan.

"Can't believe you'd even think that!" said Sam.

"Think what? That you have a cute ass?" replied Jordan.

"No! That you'd want to invite somebody over to watch us have sex!" said Sam.

"What! I never said that, much less thought it!" argued Jordan.

"No, I heard you!" argued Sam.

"Well, it was your mind playing tricks or wishful thinking," argued Jordan.

"Wishful thinking? What exactly do you mean by that?"

"Well, it wasn't me who acted like a bitch in heat every time Charlie came around!"

"You're not going to start that again! And who was it that was always raving about Paul? Come on, tell me you never fantasized about him!"

"Wow! You guys fantasized about Charlie and me? Wow!" I said.

The two looked at me in disbelief and their mouths dropped open, then they turned, looked at each other, then back to me.

"Sam, do you see what I think I see?" asked Jordan in a whispered voice.

"Paul?" responded Sam almost inaudibly. 

Jordan nodded.

"Uh, you guys aren't mad at me for messin' wija, huh?" I asked. They shook their heads 'no'. "Sam, what Jordan said is true, even Charlie noticed it." Sam blushed. "You love him, don't you?"

"No!" replied Sam.

"Oh, give me a break Sam," said Jordan, "If the conditions were right you'd be all over that boy!"

Sam cracked a smile. "That's not going to happen!" protested Sam, "He's not interested in me like that."

"But if he was?" asked Jordan.

Sam sighed, "It won't happen, but if it did...I don't know. Jordan, I love you and you know that. I think it's just infatuation."

Jordan leaned over kissed Sam, "I know." Jordan giggled, "I just like messing with ya!" They kissed again, but with more passion.

"Hey! Guys! Yoohoo, fellows!" I said.

"Sam, let's make love, Paul can watch. It'll be a little kinky, but what the heck!"

"Ooooo, yeah. I mean he did suggest it!" They started making out!

"All right, I'm sorry! I only came here cuz I have a serious problem!"

The two just looked at me and smiled. "Gotcha!" said Sam.

"So, what's the prob, ghostly dude?" asked Sam.

"Charlie...I love him so much and he loves me. I decided not to leave him because I know he needs me now. We both knew you guys liked us a lot, but to us you guys are like our brothers. Charlie said that he knew Sam wanted more than friendship, but he looked at Sam as being his older brother and he just wasn't into incest." I smiled, "And Jordan, I love you too, but as a brother. I really miss both of you...anyway nature tells me I must do the birth-death cycle. It's like life is the ultimate VR game and I just want to get back into the game and play it again. You have no idea how boring death is. I've told Charlie that I will be here as long as he needs me until he lets me go...but he has to do it on his own determination, with no guilt or sorrow and with happiness in his heart."

"The other thing, the longer we are together like this the stronger our reality becomes on our two different planes of existence. Eventually, neither of will be able to distinguish any difference, which is okay for us but not for our two worlds. Charlie will be thought of as insane and so will I. And the last thing is I'll never age. I will forever be 17. Everybody's dream is to never age. But it's now my worst nightmare."

"So, what can we do?" asked Jordan.

"Get him to fall in love with someone. I can help some, but not a lot because you see I don't want to let go of him." I began to cry. "I-I love him so much...I-I think...it's best...I can't expect him to sacrifice his life for me and this insane situation. I-I want him to have a happy life. Only-only knowing he's free of me can I feel free to leave and let nature take its course."

"Paul," Sam said, "I, we, will help."

So, that's how Sam can see me. By the way I had a great Halloween, but that's another story...boo!