Date: Sat, 27 Mar 2010 03:04:37 -0500 From: Joseph Biggers Subject: The King of Nihil, Chapter 1 This story is entirely fictional. No Characters in this story are meant to portray, nor are based on, any real people, Living or Dead. This story portrays homosexual (male/male) sex and love in a graphic way. *"The King of Nihil"* Chapter 1 When I was child, everything was still complicated, but altogether more simple than it has been. Until I was about eighteen my biggest fears were that someone would find me out, discover me for who I really was. It seems funny now that this idea would have ever crossed my mind. With the weight of the world on my shoulders I could wish for nothing more than to be that child, back in those simple, less complicated days. I was born with intelligence, born of beauty, but above all I was born into rite. My mother and my father, Queen and King of their separate and each others lands, my grandparents on both sides, Sovereigns of their lands, myself born by god and chosen as exalted among all others. But we will dive into all of this much later, since now, we are talking about me as a child. I was somewhere about eleven or twelvish when I knew there was no going back to normalcy. I was losing the fight and the person I wanted to be, I was disgusted with what I was becoming. I was the King's son, a prince if you will, how inappropriate that I had those desires. How mischievous of me, how deviant I was to begin to stray from a traditional path into one that carried a major stigma, lots of fear. Realistically I could not control myself. I was attracted to several of the boys I was in school with and could not control what I desired. So from ages twelve to fifteen I lived in hiding, in my own private exile, a personal Hell. I lived in fear for so much of my young life that it made the difference in me when I began High School. My father decided it best if he sent me to Academia de Ángel para el dotado , which in English is called, "The Angelo Academy for the Gifted." This would be the first turn of many turns in my life of several turns. I was sixteen, he was seventeen, and his name was Joshua. In my advanced Literature Studies class we we're given a free choice assignment. Of course all of the details were supposed to be hidden from us as to what the overall project would be but we were given the first part and that was to choose a book we never read and begin reading it. As a matter of impression, I chose "Le Comte de Monte Cristo" in it's original French Language and periodical format. The classroom desks we're set up in a horseshoe shape with two rows centering around the teacher's desk. I sat on the end of one and Joshua sat right in front of me. The year was only two weeks in but I began to become infatuated with him. He was tall and lanky but still carried himself with assurance. He had dark brown hair that was accented with random locks of light brown that were natural, not dyed. His eyes were a light caramel brown and his skin was of the tan and olive tone as the majority of our peoples'. His face was not chiseled, but somehow sculpted with perfection and I would get lost staring at it, if even only from behind and to the side. The back of his shirts collar perfectly met with his neck which had a few peach hairs on it and met with a perfect back hair line. The way Joshua adjusted his tie gave me goosebumps as the collar either tightened or loosened at his will. The first day of class I would read about Edmond Dantes, but imagine him appearing as Joshua, an attractive energetic being whom anyone could fall in love with. Days and then weeks had passed, Edmond was already middle aged and no longer looked like Joshua, but Joshua still held my every interest. I almost think it got to the point where it was obvious, if not to him than to someone else in the class, at least the teacher. I just could not help myself, I could not look away, though for dignity sake I should have. It was on a rainy day, old Dantes was questioning whether or not he was doing the right thing and Joshua seemed too lost in thought to read his choice. I was too lost in Joshua to read mine. Joshua had a nice pen, entirely black colored with a fine tip. He constantly played with his pen but on this day he sat a bit to the side in my full view. He constantly fumbled the pen in and out of his mouth. I became entranced watching his full smooth lips open and close around the small pen, then watching him shake it back and forth in his mouth. After awhile of this his skills began to grow and he used no hands. He curled his lips, inwards and outwards to guide the pen from one end of his mouth to the other as he began to read his story. For ten minutes I watched him do this knowing I would have something to go to sleep with that night. The class bell caught me by surprise and broke my concentration of Joshua's side profile. I reached for my bag on the floor and grabbed for my books to put them inside of it. Looking back at Joshua he had all of his stuff in hand but he had turned around to stare directly at me. My eyes locked with his for a few moments and then went back to the pen in his mouth to which he slowly took out and held in his hand. I stared back at his eyes and was almost terrified of the look he gave me. He knew that I watched him, he knew why I watched him "Marcus!" Dancy called my name from the classroom doorway still in the hall. Darcy was my newest friend since coming to this school. The Astrug's were friends of my families however I met Darcy independently. She was a short girl, and is a short woman. She has curly medium brown hair that goes past her shoulders, wears glasses and is almost the same age as myself. I am not sure how close we are, or ever were, but I know that when it comes to those you can claim as friends and those that are only around for the status of being your friend she is definitely one of the people I can count on. "What was that all about?" She asked in reference to the cold, dark stare Joshua had just given me. "We had a disagreement in discussion, hey did you get the invitation to..." "Don't change the subject, I am not that naive!" Darcy interrupted me. I stopped for a moment debating whether or not I should lie to her. "He caught me staring at him," I told the truth. Darcy stopped dead in her tracks than said, "Staring staring or STARING?" She always had this over the top way of speaking. She made sure to accentuate every word to ensure that it's meaning was fully taken. "STARING," I responded, lightly mocking her speech. "Maybe you should say something," she contributed as we continued to walk. "Say what, Hi you know me as the Prince of Kandsland, wanna come over and play hide the teacup?" "No! You know what I mean Marcus." "I know, I just don't think someone in my position really has the ability to..." "Excuses, excuses." "When I am King, you know you cannot interrupt me right?" I asked her jokingly. I am royal by both of my parents however by my father I have an older brother Francisco, and an Older sister, Cassandra whom is Princess Heiress of this country. The Prince and Princess are actually my far older half brother and sister. Their mother, Queen Jasmine died of cancer years before my parents met. So long story short, outside of some catastrophic unthinkable event, I will never ascend the throne of Kandsland. My mother however, is Heiress apparent of the throne of Holland, her father being King Karl VII of Holland. I, being my mother's direct heir, am second in line to the Dutch Crown. Since the day I was born I have been torn between two homes two worlds. For as long as I can remember I have been forced to be two different people, inclusive of everything from the sex I was attracted to, to the people I would some day lead. The coin always has two sides, but if you throw it the right way, you might just manage to get a heads up. "Well Your Highness, please accept my apology and find a punishment that is suitable for my misdeed." Darcy joked. "I have no idea what to do." I admitted as we reached my next class. "What can you do, really?" Darcy asked. I thought for a few moments then said, "Claim that I was deep in thought and didn't realize that I was staring at him." We both sat for a few more moments, looks of skepticism framed both of our faces. "I think that would hurt more than help," Darcy added. "What do you mean?" "Maybe if you just ignore it and don't say anything to him then it will just go away, I mean you could only hurt the situation if you recognize it." Everything she said made sense, however I still continued my day with the nagging fear that he has already told someone. The following day I psyched myself up to face him again. I knew what I was looking at, he knew what I was looking at, he knew that I knew what he was looking at. Those lips. Those soft full beautiful lips. I spent my first two classes thinking of different scenarios where I would respond to any question he might ask or infer towards. I was so scared. "Mrs. Lopez said you don't have a partner," Joshua said to me as I read over the quarterly assignment. I did not know what to say at first, I sat completely dumbfounded like an idiot I was completely caught by surprise, speechless. "Do you have a partner?" Joshua asked. I paused for a moment, I did not understand why he chose me. "No!" I quickly manged to force from the depths of my chest. "Well...what do you think?" Joshua continued to inquire. "Oh of course!" I quickly responded. It's not that I was not a popular kid, other people were just extremely intimidated when it came to approaching me in these types of situations. "What are you reading?" Joshua asked. "Count of Monte Cristo," I responded "This says Comte...oh!" Joshua said while making the cutest of "i see" faces. He probably though I was weird, worse yet lame. When given a difficult assignment, why would anyone opt to make things harder on themselves? Should I have told him I can speak read and write french as well as a Frenchman? Should I explain anything at all? "No, it's okay, I'm not judging you," Joshua attempted to assure me. "I did not say you were," I responded to him in kind of a stern voice. "I can see it on your face." There was a silent pause in our short conversation. I picked up the assignment to review the details. We were supposed to read the entire story of our choice, but then we had to sell it as if it were our own script for a movie. It was up to us to negotiate with our partner, which was the better of the two stories to "present" as a script. We even had to make at least ten story boards for this script. Thankfully we did not have to write the script itself. "Do you have time to work on this outside of school?" I boldly asked Joshua, kind of biting my tongue immediately after. After all, I'm sure it was kind of weird to stare at someone like that. It would be weird if he did spend time with someone who is as weird as that. "I can't today, or tomorrow, how about Saturday?" He responded. "I can do that." "Good." I paced the floor for several hours Saturday morning, having woken up very early for not having any obligations. I had to make sure that everything was perfect but I didn't want it to look like I did anything in preparation for Joshua's visit. Normally I was someone whom was used to being catered too, waited on, or prepared for, so it was rare that I felt this kind of nervousness. I loved and hated the uneasy feeling at the same time, it was exhilarating. It was a beautiful day, so I set everything up to work on our project in the back yard by the pool. "I'm tired of this." Joshua announced after a few hours of working on our project. "As am I." I agreed. "I'll be right back in a minute." I went into the house and grabbed a bottle of Wine and two glasses. This wasn't too deviant, I mean it is kind of customary for teenaged children to drink wine with their parents, that type of thing. So what was the harm in this? "I've never had wine." Joshua admitted as I poured his glass. I was actually kind of astonished by this since I always imagined him to be the bad boy type. "Seriously?" I questioned. "Well, uh, my parents are kind of devout." he said, "There are a lot of things I've never done." "Like what?" I asked him taking my first drink. He ignored my question and took his first drink of wine. "It's disgusting," he stated evaluating the glass as if looking to see if something were floating in it. "You get used to it." "I guess so," he said right before taking several big drinks. "Whoa, whoa! Don't over do it." "Oh I can handle my liquor, I just never had wine." I watched him top off the glass. Those lips caught me again, their enigmatic softness caressed the glass so delicately. I wanted to feel them pressed against mine. "I've never kissed before." I boldly admitted before realizing how horribly timed and out of place this comment was. Awkward! "Você Alteza, seu convidado e você mesmo estarão comendo o comensal em casa hoje à noite?" Miguel, my head of house asked if we were going to be eating dinner in. "Nenhum Miguel, nós seremos finos, você e sua equipe de funcionários pode descolar para o descanso da noite." I let him know we would be alright and to send the wait staff home for the night. "Obrigado, e tenha uma noite maravilhosa." He bade me good night. "Miguel before you go, can you have Michael come here?" I asked him. " Você Alteza," Miguel nodded at me before walking back towards the house. I gave Michael Phillip, the head of my security strict instructions that Joshua and I were not to be bothered for the remainder of the evening. Joshua and I drank a little bit more, talking mostly about dumb things at school. I pretty much forgot that I lusted for him as I began to get into our conversation, until... "Let's swim," Joshua suggested. At first I was taken by surprise. Was I actually going to be able to see him in shorts. Than a scary thought occurred, he was going to see me in shorts. "Or not?" He questioned. "I have several extra pairs of shorts if you want I could..." I stopped talking due to being entranced. Joshua instantly shed both of his shirts and began undoing his belt. His chest was bare and there was just enough definition and tone in all of his muscles. The tan color of his neck, face, and arms seemed to be universal throughout his body. The idea of seeing him naked instantly excited me but he stopped at the pair of blue boxers he was wearing than dove into the pool. I stood at the edge, still fully clothed and watched him come up for a breath of air. "Shorts are unnecessary," he yelled from the water. "Are you coming?" Instantly I followed suit and shed my shirt my shoes and then my shorts so that I was only standing in my boxer briefs. I think this might have been the most naked anyone had seen me in a very long time. I felt vulnerable, uneasy, scared. I jumped into the pool and felt relieved that I was under the cover of water, kind of. "Who else lives here with you?" Joshua asked. "No one." "You live alone?" "Me and three of the Royal Staff." "Seriously?" I nodded. "Wow, must be nice." I thought about it for a moment before thinking out loud, "It has it's disadvantages." "Like what, freedom, privacy, the fact that you can do whatever you want." He argued. "I have never been free to do whatever I want. My life is under a microscope." I laughed at his comment. He dove under water and swam across the pool to the other side. I loved the way his hair covered his eyes when he first broke the surface of the water. He was so hot when he brushed it back and opened his eyes, already looking at me, intently. "I can do whatever I want," He said with a mischievous grin on his face. I knew what that face meant, but I did not want to think it. I guess I was afraid it would go away the moment I did. "Like what?" I questioned him. He dove under water again and swam closer to me so that when he came up our faces we're only six inches apart. I could feel the warmth of his heavy breathing on my cold wet face as he caught his breath. Without saying another word he put his hands on my shoulders and kissed me on the lips. Not open mouthed, not prolonged. It was a simple short touch of his soft full lips to mine, it felt better than anything. It felt like love, though I knew it was not, nor did I think it could ever be. "Now you can't say you've never kissed anyone." He smugly remarked. I did not know how to react, no idea what to do. It was the first time anyone has ever touched me in this manner and my god it was another guy. Should I run away to my room in fear, should I pounce on him like a lion. I was being ripped in half in such a short period of time. "What if I could say I had only kissed one time?" I asked him, deciding I knew what I wanted. This time he reached under water and grabbed me by my upper waist to move me closer to him. He turned his head to the side and this time he opened his mouth. Not much, just a little bit, just enough for the tip of his tongue to meet with mine. I do not know how but somehow we went from being in the middle of the pool to the very edge. My back was to the wall and my hands behind my head holding on to it as we were in the deep end. He reinforced my grip of the wall by clutching his hands onto mine. This time his tender embrace had become aggressive as he and I we're letting go of formalities and kissed as if we would never be able to do it again. I remember this kiss very well, as to this date, only one other kiss has topped it. Upstairs in my master bathroom we stood facing each other. I opened the glass door to the shower and turned on the hot and cold water. Without speaking and at once, we both took off our underwear and stepped in. I never expected my first time experimenting would go this far. His naked body was magnificent, perfect and uh, shaved and trimmed. As we stepped in the shower, I became the aggressor. I pushed him against the wall opposite the shower heads and continued to kiss him, ran my hands through his wet hair, touched his lips with the tips of my fingers. Our anatomy pressed against each other as did our stomachs and chest. "Can I touch you?" I whispered into his ear before sucking on his neck. He nodded his head and I grabbed on to his most personal parts. At first it was kind of an exploratory type of thing and I more or less was just careful not to hurt him. He began to push into my hand so I quickly took the hint and started working over him in a rhythm. He reached his right hand out and did the same to me. We stood perfectly apart to allow for room to work with yet with our left arms we stood in an embrace around each others necks, with periodic head kisses, neck sucking and ear biting. I was in complete awe at how good this felt, I never imagined. He worked me faster and faster and I began to mimic his moves. It was coming soon so I lifted my mouth from the front of his neck to look him in the eyes. He tilted his head forward to do the same. Those beautiful light brown eyes squinted and curved in ecstasy as he let out a noise and I felt warmth on my stomach. I was soon to follow but as I did it I put my tongue in his mouth one last time. Three years later I was well into my first year at university as a freshman. I was sure of who I was and it was no secret to those in my family. My parents took it very well and surprisingly did not take the delicate situation to a negative level. They reassured me that it was okay to be this person and reminded me that I worked hard, was extremely intelligent, and had nothing to fear but fear itself. They had an attitude towards the press that said we would cross that bridge when we got there however I can guarantee that both of their advisers already had plans A, B, and C worked out should my homosexuality become publicized. I had been much further groomed for the Throne of Holland and had been officially confirmed as Heir apparent, The future Dutch King. Although I lived and was raised mostly in Kandsland, you must understand that I love Holland as much as I love Kandsland. The people of that nation had no quarrels about me being half-bred, their only concern was that this was my rite by birth. The King and Queen of Holland we're the only grandparents I knew due to my fathers parents' dying before I was born, I spent every summer in The Hague since I was nine. "Where are we going tonight?" Darcy asked me on the phone as I was being driven back to my house. Darcy and I managed to get accepted to the same university, or should I say our parents power and money got accepted to the same university. "Well..." I started. "Uh oh, are you bailing on me?" "No, not at all. "Then why are you so apprehensive?" "I was thinking today, I know we were going to do the formal dinner thing with Heather but I kind of just want to skip formalities, and go out, incognito of course." I explained. "Where?" Darcy Asked. I don't know call Heather and see if she is up for it. Heather Rengier is a French Fashion designer whom is staying the winter in Kandsland. She is an honest person and Darcy and I quickly took to her. She grew up poor but has extreme independent wealth and has more skeletons to hide from the press than I do. She has never been a question of loyalty. Darcy and Heather showed up at my house wearing simple black dresses. Heather wore a hat that slightly covered her face with her hair covering most of everything else that is invisible, Darcy only wore the black dress, as she is not someone that is easily recognizable. I dressed in an all black suit, and sunglasses. Going out in disguise was the only way we could really have a good time, but it was a lot of work. First I had the closest cook to my age and two of my maids dress in similar attire. Then I sent them home early with a ride in my sedan to make it look like they were Heather, Darcy, and Myself. Kind of a decoy to get the press to follow them before we actually left. We all took our sunglasses off and I put on a cooks overcoat as Darcy and Heather put on maids overcoats. We blended in with seven of the houses wait staff and I drove us, including Michael of course, in a mid sized sedan of moderate taste. The entire thing worked as planned and we arrived at LAC, a kind of quiet night club in downtown. We came in the side VIP entrance and I said hello to the doorman so he knew who we were but to keep his mouth shut. Once inside Darcy and Heather hit the bar, I headed for the bathroom mirror to make sure I was not too noticeable. Michael followed me and washed his hands as an act. Being pleased with myself I turned for the door to join my friends. As I reached for the handle the door flew open, smashing into my hand and I stepped back a few steps. Immediately as if with intuition, Michael stepped between me and the person who walked in and he stood ready to attack my would be assailant. "OI am so sorry," the voice pleaded. "It's okay," I replied with head looking down at my cradled hand so that he would not see my face. The situation was very awkward, me the injured, then some strange guy who stood between us. "Michael let us go." I quickly said to put him at ease. After those words left my mouth I looked above the rim of my needless sunglasses to see, for the first time, the most beautiful person in this world. As quickly as I saw him I looked away. Michael followed me from the bathroom and I went out to the table Darcy and Heather we're at. I sat for a minute or two and waited, not sharing in my companions' conversation. I sat in my corner, sipping my drink, waiting for him to come out. When he did I watched him go straight to the bar as it appeared he was at the club alone. He seemed familiar, as if I've know him all along. His back was to me, but again I felt weird as I was able to watch his face through a mirror behind the bar. "What do you think Marcus?" Heather asked. "Sorry Heather, je ne prêtais pas l'attention," I explained that I was not paying attention, speaking in her native tongue in hopes of selling my sincerity. "What are you looking at?" Heather asked trying to focus her attention across the room in the direction I was gazing, but could not find the guy with his back to us. "Darcy, where do we know him from?" I asked her, not moving my gaze. Darcy rose up a bit in her seat to see who I was talking about. "Him in the green polo?" She questioned in disbelief. "Yes, the one at the bar." "He goes to university with us, his name is Jonas something or another, you know one of those protestors that's always whining about how everything is just terrible," she explained, obviously already feeling the effects of the alcohol. I watched him for a little bit, but did not stare, just from the corner of my eyes. This night I saw two guys approach him at that bar, they appeared to try to hit on him to which he had an embarrassing smile and seemed to have declined their advancements. Probably for the better since they looked kind of scuzzy and he looked so clean. He sat alone the entire night, and we left before him due to the pain and swelling in my thumb not going away. On the way home Michael drove, I called my personal assistant to request to have a private doctor come to my house and look at my right thumb. After about ten minutes of examination he declared it broken and gave me a minor spint to wear. This was not that big of a deal, however the following morning my Father's head of house released a statement stating I injured my finger during a polo match that morning. The following Monday I found myself at school trying to seek out this Jonas person, and I did not have to look too hard. He and two other people had a booth set up in the middle of the commons and I instantly approached it. "Hello," I greeted them and pretended to look at the sign below their stand. "Hi," the three of them greeted me at once, certainly and without doubt knowing who I was. "Did you come to donate something to the relief for the Tsunami in New Guinea?" Jonas asked me. I talked to him for a few moments, pretending to not know much about what was going on in the other hemisphere. Just enough to gain his attention. I had to think further, beyond this moment if I wanted to get to know him and a simple donation would not do. "Is there anything I can do to help?" I asked him. It became immediately obvious that he was the better person than I. I did not really want to help, as much as I wanted to know him. "Of course, I mean, how far are you wanting to go?" "I can help you for the rest of this week." "Okay." "Okay." There was a silent pause in the conversation making things awkward but I was never one to be silent for long. "What time should I be here tomorrow?" I asked Jonas. "When is your last class?" "It ends at two pm." "Two would be great." "Okay." "Okay." With that I turned to walk away. "Oh wait," I said stopping myself, "By the way, my name is Marcus Maldonado." "I know." There was another awkward moment where I was still in a stance ready to walk away and he did not say anything right away. "I'm Jonas Maren." "It has been a pleasure to meet you Jonas, I look forward to tomorrow," I advised him in the blunt direct way I have always spoken. "Likewise," Jonas added. "Okay." "Okay." Enough "okays" I walked away and felt quite smitten already. Days turned into weeks and I immediately began spending a lot of time with Jonas. He was very intellectual and was very passionate about the things he loved as much as he was about the things he hated. He was a real person, and so could I be when around him. We had no classes together but left school almost every day with each other. We had never discussed our obvious mutual attraction for one another, and for a long time we did not act on it. It would take the world as we knew it to end before we ever touched each other. It was a cool September morning when catastrophic events in the United States sent the world into turmoil and fear. We watched it on the news and saw as the first building came down. With that moment I took Jonas' hand in mine and held it on my leg, he never flinched. "Your highness, due to recent events your father and grandfather have requested we take you somewhere safe." Michael Phillips demanded as he walked into the room. "Where to?" I asked. "He just wants us in the sky as soon as possible." "Fine, Jonas is coming with us." As soon as myself and Jonas left my house for the Sedan several reporters began taking pictures and shouting questions from the gate. I let Jonas slide in to the left side and I got in on the right. As soon as we departed the compound, local law enforcement served as an extra escort as did that National Armory. The camera flickering was stronger than I have ever known it. "Is everything okay? Are we okay?" I asked Michael. "Yes," he quickly responded. I was more scared by the way the convoy raced through the city streets with sirens and lights and all. I was afraid someone would not see us coming and we would hurt them, or worse yet kill someone. "Michael, há alguma maneira que nós pudermos retardar um pouco?" I asked if we could slow down. "No!" Was his response. Noticing that Jonas had not said one word to me since we left the house, I asked him softly are you okay?" He did not answer, he only asked, "Can you hold my hand again?" I complied. We reached a small airport and boarded a nine passenger private jet. Five minutes after we arrived, another convoy also arrived. I saw from the window, my sister's son, The Prince Jordan, whom at the time was ten years of age. "Wait here a minute I will be right back." I said to Jonas. As I rose to my feet Michael stood with me. I all but ran to the door to meet my nephew who was almost in tears due to his fear. "Marcus," Jordan called and ran up the jet stairs to hug me. "Jordan, that is my friend Jonas, Michael is going to take you to sit by him and get your seat belt on okay. Jordan nodded his head. "Liam stay behind a moment," I demanded of my nephews person security guard. I waited until I was certain that Jordan was out of earshot. "Why is my nephew so upset, you are supposed to protect him?" I demanded. "Your highness, his nanny was not in and we did not have any one to tend to..." "Damn the nanny, your purpose is to protect every aspect of his person and right now the only thing I have seen you capable of is scaring him half to death." "Sua Alteza..." "I say this as an uncle, and only as an uncle. I do not ever again want to see my nephew this scared in your presence, this is understood without argument, without another word." With that I returned to my seat and the jet taxied to take off. That afternoon we landed in Kandslands capital, to reunite with our entire family. I introduced Jonas as a close friend and confidant to which the family, my parents included, greeted him with warmth. We were dismissed after dinner as children are so that my parents, their advisers, and my sister could discuss matters of state. "Today has been an incredible day," Jonas remarked as we rode the elevator up to the third floor of the Palace. "It's been terrible," I added. "No, I'm not really talking about that, I'm talking about your family." "How so?" "Well it's not every day that you get to meet people of such vast power and get to go in the Granite Palace." "It is for me," I quickly said. To this I think Jonas took slight offense but he did not say anything. "There is my sister's room, and my older brothers. The one to the left at the end of the hall is my fathers, but the Royal Suite has been vacant and sealed since my Grandfather's death." I explained the layout of the top floor. "Why is that?" Jonas questioned. "I think that even after all these years, and with all of his power, my father is still afraid of his father." I further explained. "This is my room you could stay with me tonight." Upon walking in I think it might have surprised Jonas with how simple it was. The bedroom of a future King only had one room with a big walk in closet that had a private bath inside. "Is this not what you expected?" I asked him. "No, it's fine, I mean, it's basic but it's still much nicer than anything I've ever had." Jonas said while looking around from floor to ceiling. We both took separate showers and then we sat in front of the TV watching the news and aftermath of the attack in the US that morning. After about thirty minutes there was a knock at my door. "ALEX!" I stated with excitement and embraced him. "When did you arrive?" "I just got in, the King and Queen send their love." My brother stated about my grandparents. "Come in, I want you to meet someone." Alex walked in the room and Jonas immediately stood to his feet. This is Jonas Maren, a very good friend of mine, Jonas, this is my younger brother Alex." I introduced them to each other. "Where is Christina?" I asked him, "how is she doing?" "Well we broke up three months ago, so I hope she's miserable. Apparently you don't watch the news as I see that is all you are doing now." I felt extremely guilty that moment. I realized that it been since our sister Cassandra's birthday that we last saw each other, six months ago. "Can we change it to something else?" Jonas asked me. "Let's go have a drink instead." I suggested. The three of us took the elevator down to the bar on the first floor and each of us ordered a strong alcoholic drink. Jonas spoke with ease to the prince, as if they have been friends all along. I was happy to see that he would get along just fine with my family which was a strange thing to want since so far we've only gone as far as holding hands. My bed was huge, big enough for both of us to lye comfortably in without touching each other. We both lied awake for a few minutes, starting at the top of the canopy. "What do you think will be different tomorrow?" Jonas asked. I pondered this question for a moment and gauging from what the news had said I responded with one word, "security." "Security, are you scared what will happen to you and maybe your family?" "No, no Jonas I am not, I just know that security, from every aspect is going to be far more overblown than it already is." I whispered upwards to the dark. "I'm scared," he whispered back. I thought for a moment, and then the ringing noise silence that brings rang loudly in my ears. Almost too loud to bare. Carefully I moved closer to Jonas and he moved closer to me. I put my left arm around his side to the front of his chest. He turned his back to cuddle into me and I kept my hand where it was to feel his heart beating, my face in the back of his head which smelled of the shampoo that I use. "Marcus," Jonas whispered. "Jonas," I replied. "I love you." "I love you." The following evening we flew back to university. My father thought it best if that Kandslandic people as well as the world saw us moving on with life and getting back to normalcy. Before we left Jonas got to experience a moment in history. Our entire family, the Prime Minister as well as other cabinet members crowded the King's Offices for a telephone call. My father called the American president to let him know that his family, his government and his people we're behind the United States and if there was anything that we could do to help we would find it our humane duty to help our friends in their time of need. It was a hard moment, and I didn't even have to talk, I just had to be present. That night Jonas and myself parted with plans to meet the following day. We planned a night in and watched a few movies. It was always best in these types of situations that we fly under the radar. Both of us were a little bit drunk and I think that is what got rid of the bashfulness and prude behavior. There is so much that happened with us this night, we kissed for the first time and it would be the best kiss I ever had. Another first, was, that I made love to a man for the first time, and it was great. In respect for Jonas, and what we had together, I will live the rest to your imagination and just admit, that it probably was the most important turning point of my life. "Sua Alteza, sua mãe está chamando para você." Michael stated through the intercom that my mother was on the phone. "Send it through, I'll take it in here," I said back through the intercom, "Obrigado, Michael." I thanked him. "Mother," I greeted the queen. "Mijn Zoon." she greeted me back. "How are you?" "I am fine aside from the reason I am calling you." She replied. "What is it?" "How close have you gotten with this Jonas boy?" I paused for a moment wondering if I was comfortable enough discussing this with her. I looked at him to ensure he was still tangled in the bed spreads, completely asleep. "Ik denk ik in liefde met hem zou kunnen vallen." I told her I thought I was falling in love with him, in a language I knew he could not understand. "Marcus, I do not want to be the one to tell you this, but you can not go any further, you must end this immediately." "WHY?" "Your father demands it, and there is no reasoning with this, no way around it." "This does not make sense, Mother." " Mijn Zoon, you have to understand that this relationship is impossible and cannot be allowed to be continued." "Moeder ik in een wereld waar niets onmogelijk is, waarom leeft u zegt dit aan me?" I again demanded to know what was going on, why she was telling me this. "Mijn zoon zal zijn stem niet aan me opheffen, zal hij doen aangezien hij wordt verteld." She pretty much said that I was being disrespectful and that I should do what I was told. With that she hung up. I was astounded to think that my parents could be so closed minded. I was surprised to know that they were okay with who I was as long as I did not act on it. I was in disbelief that despite how happy I was with Jonas, this was not taken into consideration. Love is a great thing and it is such a shame when it is shadowed by hate. A week went by with no communication from my family. Unexpectedly one day a convoy of cars pulled up to the house, this motorcade was bigger than mine yet held the kandsland flags on the front of the hood. It was too small of an event to be my father or mother and I just heard that they were in Brazil on a State Visit. My sister Cassandra's head of security stepped out of the front seat of the main car and immediately I knew this was not going to be an easy visit. "Father just wants you to understand that he does not hate who you are Marcus, there is just so much more involved than meets the eye." She pleaded after taking a sip of her tea. "Cassie, there has always been, and there always will be more than meets the eye, and if he can not get over this now, I have no chance at leading a happy life." "and believe me when I say dear brother, it is not our parents intention to make you unhappy." "Then what are their intentions? What am I supposed to do, hide, lie, never live?" "Your life is and will always be your own Marcus, this is just something I am asking you to do, honor our parents, our family, our ancestors without question." You must understand, that when my mother and sister demanded my obedience, there was never a question of my personal freedom. I had none. "This is so important for a father to tell his son without ever saying a word to him," I commented on the fact that my father still had as of yet to speak for himself. The Princess Heiress stayed the night that night at my house. The following morning she visited a local Childrens Hospital to provide them with a Royal Grant to build a new wing. I attended with her but as always stayed in the background. "But none of this makes sense," Jonas pleaded with me. "It's not me, it's my family, they wont allow it." "Do you always do what your family says? If only you could understand what it is I feel for you Marcus, you would not say these things to me." "If only you could understand Jonas, I have absolutely no say in the matter." We stood their for a moment on the back porch, the wind slight picked up and tussled his hair in front of his eyes to which he quickly moved out of the way. "I could probably love you, more than any being could love another, but in a different world, maybe a different time, this would be more than just my favorite dream." "I love you Jonas." "I love you Marcus." We stood for a bit longer holding each other, I could still feel the anguish and the heat rising off of him. It hurt me to hurt him so much, and still does every time I think about it to this day. "It is funny, how the best and worse nights of my life have been spent with the same person," I said, lifting his hands to my mouth and kissing them. *EMAIL QUESTIONS/COMMENTS TO josephbiggers@gmail.com*