Learning to Fly

It had been a couple of weeks since my birthday. School was going rather well actually, and I was maintaining my proud status of being a rock solid "B" student. In that time frame Willie had left me and, as far as I knew, Jake alone. Partly due to the fact we each made sure we never went out into the hallways or bathrooms during class time, always holding business until passing period and only using the busiest restrooms. It also helped the wrestling was heating up, definitely occupying his time.

Homecoming was also coming up and was all the talk of the school. I swear everywhere you looked there were posters and banners advertising it, as if the daily P.A. wasn't enough to remind us about our goddamn "Lion Pride". And yes, that was a stupid damn pun the cheesiest teachers always enjoyed using. God if you could just see the eyerolls I'd give...

"Alright dudes!" Grant announced over the noise of the cafeteria as he sat down at our usual table with whatever the school opted to pass off as a BBQ rib sandwich. "I'm gonna do it today!"

"Do what today?" Caleb asked with this adorable confused look on his face.

"I'm gonna ask Rhett Anderson out to the homecoming dance Friday!" Grant answered before taking a bite of his French fries.

"Oh so your still gonna actually do it?" I asked a little surprised. "Honestly, I thought you were gonna chicken out dude."

"Nope not this time! I'm actually following through. I'm done with wishing I was the guy with the girl. Instead I'm gonna be the guy with the girl!" he declared, absolutely beaming with confidence.

Yeah, he's really feeling like he could do anything right now. Well, that is a good thing and all. But, god, I hope this doesn't crash and burn... but then again, look at him! He's as happy as little Phillip is when I get home from school and let him out of his kennel!

"Shouldn't you have asked her out already? I feel like someone like that should already have a date," Caleb asked/told Grant as he took a sip of his Mt. Dew.

"Oh shit! Your right! Fuck, I'm probably too late! Dammit I'm an idiot!" Grant bemoaned as his confidence vanished in an instant, replaced with anguish.

"Ok hold on now!" I interjected. "Maybe no one has had the balls to ask her out yet and she's still free!" Fuck I hope so... I really want to see Grant get a win here.

A look of hope quickly appeared on Grant’s face. "Yeah... Yeah! I bet you’re right Jesse!" (Please don't actually bet on me being right. Like, ever.)

"Ok well assuming that's the case, when and how are you going to ask her?" Caleb asked, now taking a bite of corn.

"Well check this out! We have chemistry together right? And we just started a new class assignment that requires partners. And the teacher totally paired us up for an assignment!" he told us giddily. God he really does remind me of Phillip right now... I missed my puppy ok?

"Oh, so you can ask her during class while she's holding a beaker full of god-knows-what kinda dangerous chemicals?" Caleb teased.

"Hey now it couldn't go that bad! Right?" he asked as he began to ponder the potential outcomes.

"Dude I'm teasing! I'm sure it'll go great!" Caleb encouraged him, getting a smile out of Grant.

"Hey really quick though, is your assignment about turning acids into basics and back again?" I asked. "Because that's what we are doing in my Chemistry class but we aren't doing anything involving partners."

"Yeah that's exactly what we are doing! Mrs. Dietz-Watson is really big into group and partner stuff," Grant answered, explaining why my learning experience was so much lamer than his.

"Huh ok then. But anyway, yeah man! Good luck with that! I'm rooting for you!" I enthusiastically told my friend as I offered him a fist bump, which he happily returned.

"Thanks Jesse! Anyway, I know you're not going to the dance, but what about you Caleb?"

Caleb, who had been busy trying to determine post-bite if his BBQ rib sandwich was indeed edible, looked up at Grant with a complete deer-in-the-headlights look on his face.

"Me what?" he asked after apparently determining the sandwich was edible enough.

"Are you going to ask anyone to the dance?" Grant clarified for him.

Caleb took another bite of his sandwich (Brave, well, more like dumb, soul) and thought for a minute before swallowing and giving his answer.

"Well, there are definitely some cute girls in my classes I could totally ask (goddammit Caleb... always ruining my fantasies. Ugh), but I want my first high school dance to be stress free ya know? I don't really want to have to worry about taking someone to it and have to keep them company (Damn right Caleb!). I'd rather just go with my friends and just enjoy myself."

Wait... what friends is he talking about? Oh, hell no...

"So Jesse you’re gonna be my plus one right?" Caleb asked, looking at me expectantly as he took another bite.

I looked at him in disbelief, wondering who he thought I suddenly was. But when it was clear he was serious, I sighed and replied,

"Dude, Grant literally just said I wasn't going."

"Oh, did he? I missed that. Well sorry Grant but you were misinformed!" Caleb told him.

"Uhhhh......" Grant began, clearly puzzled. "I got that info from Jesse. As in, the Jesse sitting right next to me," he said as he pointed at me.

"Oh well then that's old news. He's totally going." Caleb apparently decided for me.

"Ok what the hell dude!?" I exclaimed. "Are you just ignoring my say in this!?"

"I don't see why you wouldn't go," Caleb stated, as if he doesn't know a damn thing about me.

I just blinked at him, absolutely dumbstruck by that comment, before shaking my head and responding, "Ok, um, first of all, I don't dance. So going to a dance makes no sense. Second, in case you've forgotten, I'm socially awkward as hell. I will absolutely be the kid who stands off to the side of everything, keeping to himself and avoiding eye contact with anyone. And third of all..." I paused for a minute to think while Caleb and Grant waited to hear my third reason. "Ok, so I don't have a third of all. But the first two are plenty!"

"Ugh, Jesse come on! You're in high school now! It's time you started coming out of your shell and showing other people how awesome you are!" Caleb encouraged.

"Other people can suck a dick! I like being an unknown!" I argued back. Grant meanwhile was just quietly eating his food, watching in fascination as we went back and forth.

"Well doesn't mean you can't occasionally do something other than hunker down and play video games all night! Come on, I promise you it'll be great!" he said with a toothy grin.

I rolled my eyes to that and replied, "You can make no such promise. And hunkering down and playing video games all night is exactly what I'm going to do!"

"Not this Friday night!" he declared, clearly not understanding I do have a say this.

"Caleb," I sighed as I rubbed my temples. "I'm not going to the dance. It's not my scene. You go and have fun. You're the social butterfly and you'll have plenty of people to hang with. People love you dude. You’re already friendly with half the damn school!"

"Yeah but..."

"No buts!" I cut him off. "You go to the dance like you want and I'll maybe invite Jake over and play video games."

"Jake? The kid from the bathroom?" Caleb asked, his face scrunching up as he recalled him, causing me to roll my eyes in annoyance (Like seriously? The "kid from the bathroom"?) and Grant to look at both of us quizzically.

"Yes. My friend Jake who I happened to meet in the bathroom," I answered, giving Caleb a look to warn him not to say anything else.

"Jake who?" Grant asked, clearly lost.

"Jake..." Fuck. What is his last name!? "I, uh, actually don't know his last name." I felt my cheeks warm as I said that. How in the hell did I never ask his last name?

"What classes is he in?" Grant asked.

"Well he's actually a sophomore, so he wouldn't have any with us. But he's got curly red hair, glasses, freckles and is in Chess club," I described, figuring that would narrow him down enough.

I saw Grant’s face contort slightly as he went through his memory banks, trying to determine if he knew of him.

"Wait... I think I know who you're talking about. That sounds like a kid named Jake Romick. You remember my friend Dominique? He's in Chess club and has mentioned him. Said he's a bit "quirky" and I think he said there's a rumor he's gay?"

My eyes opened a bit in surprise. Obviously, I knew about Jake’s autism and he straight up admitted when we first met he was gay, but for as much as he insists he's invisible around the school, clearly some facts about him are out there. Guess no one is ever as invisible as they think.

Caleb's attention, however, had most definitely been grabbed and he was now extremely interested.

"Wait did you say he's gay? Jesse did you know this?" he asked with extreme curiosity, bordering almost with alarm, turning his focus to me.

"Um... why do you care? Is that a problem if he is?" I asked, completely unsure of where this was going and starting to get a little worried, causing my heart to race a little.

"No! I wouldn't care!" he said quickly. "It's just, ya know... just curious if you did know and, like, if things were cool between you guys..." he incoherently rambled. Completely losing me as to his point and making me feel all kinds of confusing emotions inside.

"Well I said it was a rumor..." Grant began, clearly as lost as I was, before Caleb quickly picked back up.

"Yeah, yeah I know! I was just wondering is all..." he continued rambling, clearly getting flustered.

What the fuck is this? Does he have a problem with it? Does he just not like Jake for some reason? I wondered, my gut wrenching in fear and a bit of anger.

"Caleb if he is, I wouldn't care. And I really hope you wouldn't either. He's my friend just like you are and that's all that matters," I told him, giving him a questioning look.

"Ok, so, you and Jake are all, like, `cool' then? I mean, that's good! No `funny business' or anything from him though right?"

"Um, excuse me?" I asked in disbelief, my irritation at Caleb building. "Funny business? What funny business?"

Caleb looked at me, trying to put whatever thoughts he was having into words. I looked back at him, waiting for a response. I could feel my frustration building inside me as my fears about my feelings towards Caleb altering our friendship bubbled up. I hoped to god this was just some weird, awkward one-time thing and not an indication that Caleb had some insecurities about gay people.

Caleb then sighed, unable to formulate whatever was going through his head.

"Look, I don't know where this is going. I don't have a problem with Jake possibly being gay ok? Just, I don't know, I was surprised when Grant said there was a rumor and I piqued my curiosity. Sorry..."

We all sat there in an awkward silence before Grant did us all a favor and spoke up,

"Sooooooo... I guess I'll be seeing you at the dance then Caleb?"

"Yeah man. Definitely!" Caleb confirmed, visibly relieved for the subject change. "But I still want you to go dude," he added, looking at me.

Just imagine me smashing my head repeatedly into a brick wall.

"Dude did you just forget everything we already argued about!?" I asked incredulously. And after that weird as fuck thing that just happened too!?

"No. But Grant is probably going with a hot girl, so he's gonna be preoccupied with her and yeah, I have other friends that'll probably be there, but they aren't my best friend!" he resumed arguing.

"Caleb I don't wanna fucking go..."

"Just one dance," he said holding up a finger, cutting me off. "Just go to this one dance and if you don't have a good time I swear I’ll never ask again. Please dude? I really think if you go and give it a real chance you'll have a great time," he pleaded.

I let out a long sigh and rubbed my face. He's never gonna drop this and I really don't wanna fucking fight with him. I HATE fucking fighting with him.

"Goddammit if I do this you SWEAR you'll never ask me to go to another one as long as we live?" I asked him as seriously as I could.

"Cross my heart and hope to die!" Caleb said as he broke out into the grin he always makes when he gets his way with me and placed one hand over his heart and the other in the air.

"Fine I'll fucking go. But the second I determine it sucks as bad as I know it will, I'm out. Got it?"

"Deal," Caleb said as the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch.

Sonuvabitch. I barely even got to eat...

I went home without Caleb after school. We were fine, he just had a dentist appointment he couldn't beg his way out of.

I unlocked the front door and did my usual routine and let Phillip out to do his business, or whatever business he still had since he peed in his kennel. I cleaned it up and then headed into the kitchen to grab as soda and some Doritos. Once I grabbed my snacking items, I let Phillip back in and made my way into the family room with my loyal companion in tow and plopped down into Jordan's recliner and turned on the T.V.

Wonder what he was watching last. SportsCenter or a cooking show. I wondered as the cable box powered up and my pup hopped into the chair with me and snuggled up in my lap.

Cooking. I answered myself as the end of an On-Demand episode of The Pioneer Woman came on.

I changed over to live T.V. and began channel surfing, casually popping powdery, cheesy deliciousness into my mouth as I did, before eventually settling on a re-run of River Monsters.

I spent the next 20 minutes snacking and wondering why the show’s host, Jeremy Wade, was even bothering with this particular "River Monster" when everyone he talked to was telling him exactly where to find the damn fish only for him to go fishing somewhere not even remotely close to where he was told to go.

"What the hell is this idiot doing?" I asked no one as I shook my head.

Suddenly my phone began to ring. I dug it out of my pocket to see it was Grant calling me.

"Hey man, what’s up?" I answered.

"She said yes!" he practically shouted into the phone, causing me to briefly pull my phone away to preserve my eardrum.

"Wait, Rhett said yes? She's going to go as your date to the dance!?" I asked excitedly.

"Yeah man! We were working on our chemistry assignment and I asked her if she was looking forward to the Homecoming Dance. She told me she was, and she was planning on going with her friends. So I asked if maybe she wouldn't want to go with me right? And she said she'd love too! I can't freaking believe it!" he told me as I could hear his smile through the phone.

I was so happy for him. Grant's a great guy and he totally deserved this. And I totally made sure I told him this, to which he thanked me profusely.

"So, is this like, a one-time thing? Or are you guys going out?" I asked.

"I mean I hope so, she seems really awesome and not to mention hot as hell!"

"Well if she's smart she will totally want this to not be a one-time thing man."

I heard Grant laugh before replying, "Well I guess we shall see. But hey, at the very least I'm getting to take her to a dance. That's a huge win in my book!"

Now it was my turn to chuckle. "Totally dude, hey I'll talk to you tomorrow though ok? I'm gonna play with Phillip some."

"No problem man talk to you tomorrow! Later!"

I hung up the phone and shoved it back into my pocket. By this time Phillip was sitting up and looking at me with his furry little head cocked to the side panting away. I smiled at him and began to scratch him a little before I lifted him up and set him on the ground so I could get out of the chair and fetch his favorite toy, a stuffed duck I affectionately referred to as Mr. Quackers.

Upon seeing me grab it, Phillip began barking excitedly. I tossed the toy across the room and sat down as I watched as Phillip took off after it, grabbing it, and bringing it back to me. When I tried to take it from him, he bit down harder and playfully growled at me as we began a game of tug-of-war, as we always did when our playtime included Mr. Quackers. Eventually though, I wrestled the duck away from him and let our game devolve into keep away as he excitedly climbed all over me, barking and licking away as he tried to get his toy back from me before I tossed it again, starting the game all over again.

This went on for almost an hour before we both got tired out. I let him keep Mr. Quackers and I got up to throw away my soda can and put the bag of chips away before returning to the recliner to resume watching T.V. until Jordan got home around 6:20.

I heard the front door open, so I looked over and down the short hallway to where Jordan was now standing.

"Hey bro! How was work?"

"It was work. Nothing unusual to report today," he replied as he kicked off his Dockers, or as I like to call them, old man shoes.

"Oh? No Spivey stories today?"

Jordan smiled and rolled his eyes at the mention of his perverted boss.

"No not today. He was tame."

"Ah! Damn! I was looking forward to hearing something!" I giggled.

"I'm sure," he replied laughing. "So what about your day bud?"

"My day was normal. Went, did, left. Agreed to go to a school dance. Say what's for dinner?" I asked the last part quickly, hoping I had succeeded in glossing over the school dance part.

"Hold on now. Did I just hear you say you're going to a school dance?" Jordan asked in disbelief.

"Hmm? What? I don't know what you're talking about. Must be getting old and hearing things," I said looking away.

"Oh no. That is most definitely not the case."

"Fine. Caleb forced me to go to the Homecoming Dance with him."

Jordan just looked at me like I was a stranger.

"So, you, Jesse, agreed to go to a school dance."

"Only because Caleb agreed that when I determine I'm not enjoying myself he will never, ever ask me to go to another one," I explained.

Jordan raised his eyebrow at me and asked, "And you believed that?"

"I... I don't have a good response for that." I replied, for some reason just now realizing Caleb would inevitably, conveniently forget that deal the next time he wanted to drag me somewhere.

Jordan just smirked at me as he headed into the kitchen to get started on dinner. I really hate how well he knows us...

"And to answer your other question, how do country fried stuffed pork chops sound?" he asked as he started pulling stuff out.

"When do I ever say no anything you make? Seriously?" I asked him.

"Valid point!" he replied as I watched him crack a couple eggs into a bowl and begin mixing flour and an assortment of spices and seasonings into another. "So when's the dance?"

"Friday night. Caleb has yet to provide me the details. But we will be meeting Grant there." I left out the part of him having a date to avoid any potential awkward conversations about me looking for a date.

"Sounds fun. I'm glad you’re going. You really should socialize more instead of hunkering down and playing video games every weekend so people can see how awesome you are." He told me as he heated up oil in a skillet and began battering the boneless chops.

My god do him and Caleb secretly coordinate against me!?

"I like being an unknown dammit!" I argued for the second time today.

"Yeah yeah. Now do me a favor and make some cornbread stuffing."

I headed into the kitchen and pulled the box out of the pantry and began boiling some water in a pot, adding a stick of butter. Once the water began boiling and the butter melted, I added the stuffing mix and let it do its thing while Jordan continued to fry up the pork chops.

"Well since I'm assuming the dance will take place after the Homecoming football game, I'll be more than happy to take you and Caleb if you want," Jordan offered.

"I'll let Caleb know you offered. I'm sure he will be glad you're taking us." Glad? More like thrilled.

"Just let him know I will be picking you guys up no later than midnight," he informed me. Hey, fine by me!

Jordan finished putting our dinner together as I texted Caleb to let him know Jordan had offered to take us and pick us up and that we could stay no later than midnight. No shock, he was thrilled.

The rest of the week went by quickly, despite me dreading Friday. Grant had called Caleb shortly after he called me and told him the awesome news about Rhett, and Caleb was visibly excited for him at lunch the next day. Not that I wasn't, but I don't care how unreasonable it is for me to not like seeing Caleb excited about girl related things, I didn't like seeing it.

Caleb rode home with me after school on Friday so we could hang out and play with Phillip and video games before we went to the dance. Caleb tried talking me into going to the game, but I was able to shut that down fortunately.

Jordan brought home Whataburger for dinner (If you haven't had Whataburger before, your life is incomplete. And to all you Californians out there? Fuck In-N-Out.), which we all devoured happily before me and Caleb headed back upstairs to take turns showering and resume playing video games for a couple more hours. Finally, at about 8:00, me and Caleb changed into clothes more appropriate for a dance (and yes, Jordan forced me to, since apparently jeans and a Bill Murray t-shirt weren't dance appropriate). We both put on button-up long sleeve shirts, mine dark blue and Caleb's black, and a pair of dress jeans and headed downstairs where Jordan was waiting to take us to the dance.

The dance was being held at a place near downtown McKinney called The Cotton Mill. Which, as the name suggests, was an old cotton mill that had a large main room the city had cleaned up and made acceptable to hold large dances in. Honestly, it was kinda cool.

Jordan dropped us off, telling Caleb to make sure I have a good time and for me to make sure Caleb doesn't have too good of a time, and reminding us that he will be back at midnight to pick us up.

Once he drove off, we headed inside to see the place already had a surprising number of students already there. We checked in at the front and walked into the main area. Basically, it was a large, rectangular open room with a DJ set up against the eastern wall, and a closely guarded refreshment table set up against western wall. The entrance to the bathrooms were located on the northern side of the room, close to where it met the western wall.

"Hey look!" Caleb said excitedly as I finished checking out the place, pointing over near the refreshment table. "There's Grant over there!"

I followed his finger to where he was pointing and saw Grant getting a couple of drinks. He was dressed in a black dress shirt and pants with a red bow tie, looking pretty damn sharp. We quickly headed over and greeted him.

"So where's your girl?" Caleb asked after our round of hellos.

"She ran to the bathroom really quick. Wanted to go before a line develops."

"Well that makes sense. I went before we came so I should hopefully be good for a while," I said as I grabbed a Coke off the table and took a sip. Yes, I realize what I just did there.

"Well hey there! You must be Grant's friends!" I heard a girl's voice with an Arkansas accent say. I quickly recognized it as Rhett's from the class we share together.

She walked up to us in a really nice cream-colored dress that left the shoulders bare, her hair done up in a bun with a few strands purposely left hanging in front. She had a rose pinned to the front of her dress, just above and to the left of her breasts. _I bet Grant got that for her. If so, nice move dude... _

"Hi there!" Caleb said with a friendly wave. "I'm Caleb! It's awesome to meet you!" I don't get how he can be so sociable...

"Well hello there Caleb! It’s awesome to meet you!" she said back with a friendly smile. "And hey!" she exclaimed as he looked and pointed at me. "You're Jesse Koenig, right? From Mr. Herrera's geography class?"

I blushed and smiled nervously. "Yeah. I sit a couple of desks over from you I think."

"Well it’s great to see you outside of class!" she smiled warmly at me, causing me to blush some more.

"Looks like Jesse gets nervous around a hot girl!" Caleb teased me, causing me to threaten to punch his dumb face. That got a laugh from everyone.

"Oh!" Grant suddenly said. "I like this song! Wanna dance, Rhett?" he asked his date as "It Ain't Me" by Kygo started playing.

"Heck yeah I do!" she agreed excitedly as they both headed out to the dance floor.

I watched as they both started to get into the song, Grant clearly had no rhythm (Not that I was judging), as his jerky dance moves revealed. Rhett meanwhile definitely was the opposite because that girl was getting down. And much to my delight, she didn't in the least care that Grant couldn't.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to look at Caleb.

"Let's go join them dude!" he asked excitedly as he started to head out onto the floor himself. When he realized though I wasn't following him he stopped and turned to look back at me questioningly.

"I'm good Caleb. I don't dance. Like, at all. I’ll just make sure there are drinks handy for you guys when you get thirsty," I told him.

"Come on Jesse, no one will care if you can't dance. I mean, look at Grant!" he said with a chuckle as he gestured towards our friend.

I looked back at Grant. Honestly, I have no idea what you would call what he was doing, but I don't think it was dancing. But, to his credit, he didn't care and was having an absolute blast.

"Caleb I'm seriously ok not dancing. Go and have fun. I’ll be here," I urged him on. Caleb gave me a look like he really wanted to say something else, but he just sighed in resignation of my stubbornness on this issue and went out to join Grant and Rhett on the dance floor.

I took another sip of my drink as I watched them. Caleb quickly found his groove, and while he wasn't as good as Rhett, he was way better than Grant was or I would have been. It was nice watching him too, he looked so good out there moving to the beat. I could easily have spent all night watching him. Or at least until midnight. Maybe this won’t be so terrible after all?

"Hey Jesse!"

The sound of someone calling my name immediately distracted me from watching my secret crush and I looked in the direction of its source to see Grant's friend Dominique walking up.

So I'll pause for background info here. Dominique was a short skinny black kid with glasses who honestly looked like a mini Steve Urkel (Yeah, so, I watch a lot of old sitcoms on Nick at Nite. What? They are funny!) and had the high pitched, nasally voice to match. Him and Grant were gaming buddies and while we weren't super close friends or anything, we knew each other and were friendly.

"Hey Dom!" I replied with a friendly smile. So more background info, ever since the original Gears of War came out he's liked to go by `Dom', like the games protagonist Marcus Fenix's best friend. "What are you doing here? I didn't expect to see you here."

"Normally this wouldn't be my scene. But I came to check out Grant's date. Damn she's fine!" he said as he smiled and nodded towards her.

"Yeah. Definitely hot," I agreed. Hey, I said before, I'm not blind...

"What are you doing here man?" he asked me in turn.

"Caleb dragged me. Promised if I went, he'd never bother me about going to one of these stupid things again. But I guess it’s nice to support Grant too." And maybe watch Caleb dance. I'll just leave that little tidbit to myself though.

Dom gave a knowing laugh. "Yeah, we will see how long that promise lasts."

Ugh. Goddammit how was I the only one who actually bought that?

"Well, anyways, how's your older sister enjoying college? Porsha right?" I asked as I took another sip of my coke.

"She's doing alright. Says so far it’s not a whole lot different than high school. Which sounds stupid as fuck, but whatever I guess," he replied with a shrug.

"What school did she get into again?"

"Sam Houston State, over in Huntsville."

"Oh nice! So you gonna go join them on the dance floor?" I asked, gesturing over to our friends.

"Nah. I’ll hang back and wait for them to finish. Besides I have something more fun to do."

I looked at him curiously as he opened up the jacket he was wearing just enough to reveal a flask stuffed into a pocket.

"Holy shit dude how did you sneak that in here!?" I asked in a hushed tone.

"Bro it was easy. The teachers at the door aren't checking out a freshman for alcohol!" he said quietly with a laugh. "So, wanna make this dance actually bearable?"

"Dude if I drink whatever that is Jordan will know as soon as he picks me up and I'll be so dead!"

"Ah come on man! Live a little! My sis said her and her friends did this all the time!"

"And that means what to me exactly?"

Dom rolled his eyes at me and replied, "Dude don't be a pussy. Just try one drink."

Man this is such a bad idea, but I've always wanted to try alcohol...

"What kind is it?" I asked hesitantly.

"Crown Royal, it mixes really well with Coke. So, you gonna try some?"

Dammit I know I'm gonna get in trouble somehow for this, but... YOLO!

"Ok, give me some." I told Dom as I held my Coke can out after confirming the teacher in charge of guarding the refreshments inexplicably abandoned their post.

Dom discreetly looked around to make sure no teachers were watching as well. Once he felt sure they weren't, he quickly unscrewed the lid to his flask and poured some whiskey into my can before stuffing the flask back into his jacket.

I looked around nervously, I guess in my mind I wanted to verify (again) no one had seen us, or at least no one who would care. Once I was (completely) satisfied, I lifted my can up to my nose and took a quick sniff. It definitely smelled different, though I'm not sure like what exactly. I quickly took one last look around and took a drink.

"Goddamn!" I exclaimed, though not too loudly, as the drink burned my throat going down.

"Well?"

"Well what?" I asked after a couple of coughs. Fuck that's not pleasant. Why do people drink this shit?

"Well what does it taste like?" he asked.

"You don't already know!? What the hell dude!?" I hissed, giving him a bit of a glare.

"I've had alcohol before! Just not that one!" he said defensively. "So what did it taste like?"

I shook my head in a bit of annoyance before I slowly took a small sip and swished it around in my mouth some to try and discern the flavor.

"I guess like Coke mixed with... caramel and some almond maybe?" I said after some thought.

"Well I guess it's my turn to try then," Dom decided as he grabbed a can of Coke off the refreshment table and took a big gulp before discreetly adding the liquor. He then took a swig of his mixed drink, swishing it around as well before swallowing.

"Aaaaaahhhhhh... That's good. Cheers!" he said with a smile as he lifted his can up to mine.

I looked at it briefly before I realized what he was doing. I smiled back and tapped the bottom of my can to his and we both took another drink. This time though I was expecting the burn in my throat so it wasn't as bad this time.

"See man? Not that bad at all! Just stick with me and we will have a good time!"

I nodded my head and continued taking small drinks, each one getting easier to swallow. Before long, my can was empty and I was feeling oddly warm inside. I quickly grabbed another can of Coke and drank some to make room for more Crown, which Dom was happy to pour me.

As I worked my way through the can, I began to feel more and more at ease and the warmth I felt became more pronounced. Before I knew it, my social awkwardness had basically vanished and I was feeling rather giddy and bold.

"Dom... dude... dis stuff makes me feel fuckin' good man!" I said with a huge grin.

"That's the gift of alcohol my man!" he told me with an equally big grin as we both grabbed another can of coke and discreetly mixed in more whiskey.

So, I'm not exactly sure where I was on the "under the influence" scale, but I was definitely tipsy. I began to look around the room, it was getting way more crowded as people from the game began showing up. But after some scanning I spotted my friends out on the dance floor still having a blast. With all the liquid courage I had just been ingesting I was now determined to go be with them... no no, that's a lie. I wanted to be with Caleb. Let's just be honest about that.

Without saying a word to Dom, I headed out onto the dance floor, drink still in hand. I'm not entirely certain how I made it out to them without running into people, but I guess my determination outweighed my tipsiness.

"Hey!" I said excitedly.

Caleb turned to look at me and about did a double take he was so shocked to see me.

"Jesse I thought you didn't want to..."

"I wanna dance with you," I said, possibly emphasizing the you. Honestly I can't remember if I did or not. I was feeling way too good to notice.

Caleb was definitely taken aback by that, but I think in a good way. Because he did smile, even if he did look unsure.

"Ok who are you and what have you done with my best friend?" he asked, cocking his head slightly.

I giggled at that. "Let's just say I'm feelin' really good right now!" And boy was I.

Caleb looked at me funny, he clearly knew something was off, but didn't know what. I guess though he decided to just enjoy the fact I was joining him (And by extant, Grant and Rhett), because he just resumed dancing.

I took another drink and began to start my attempt at dancing. I'm sure I looked like a colossal idiot, but right now the whiskey had me not caring and as far as I was concerned, I was actually having fun. I clearly must have looked like it too, because Caleb broke out into a massive grin upon seeing me, while Grant and Rhett cheered for me, causing me to blush deeply despite the liquor.

For the next hour or so (That's according to Caleb) we were all out there dancing it up. The DJ was clearly on point because everyone on the dancefloor was feeling the beats he was playing. I finished my drink at some point and the can proceeded to vanish from my hand (to this day I still have no idea when or how) but the effects of the alcohol stayed with me. Fortunately for me, no one caught on to the fact I was drunk, apparently they all chalked up my terrible dancing to me just being a terrible dancer. Which is true I guess. Though the fact I was so goddamn cheerful should have been a sign...

"I'm glad you joined us out here!" I remember Caleb saying to me over the noise of the dancefloor, making me feel all giddy. "I really like seeing you having a good time!"

"I really just like seeing you!" I responded without thinking.

As soon as the words left my mouth though I froze. I wasn't that tipsy where I didn't realize what I had just said.

"Uh... uh... what I mean... um, that came out wrong..." I stuttered as my face went crimson and I immediately began looking for the nearest place to go hide and die.

"What was that?" Caleb asked me. I could hear the confusion in his voice.

Oh god I fucked up. I remember thinking, mortified. I can't be here I need to go.

I quickly did an about-face and bolted off the dancefloor as fast as I could, not caring who I bumped into as I heard Caleb shout after me to wait. There was absolutely no way though I could face him, I kept pushing my way past people and finally made my out where I bumped into Dom, who apparently was still drinking near the refreshment table.

"Jezzie! What uuuup!?" he said, slurring his words. "You don' loo' so goo', man!"

"Bathroom! Where's the bathroom again?" I asked, having forgotten its location. From what I can remember, my thought process was that I could just hide in there until Caleb forgot what I said.

Dom just pointed in the direction of the restrooms and I took off towards it. Refusing to look around, hoping that if I didn't see Caleb anywhere, he wouldn't see me (Yeah I know, drunk logic ok?). I made it to the men's room and rounded the corner to head inside there where several people inside either using it or waiting to use it. I managed to maneuver my way to the stalls and tried the first one, hoping it was empty, only to find it locked.

"Hey, this be fuckin' occupied!" came a voice I knew all too well.

I slowly looked down to the bottom of the stall door and saw a familiar pair of Air Jordan's.

Willie.

I felt my heart stop and I began to tremble with terror as all the blood drained from my face.

"Oh god no," I said under my breath as I slowly began to back away. "He's fucking here." I couldn't believe I never considered running into him here. How could I have been so stupid? I thought as I backed up until I bumped into the wall by the entrance, still trembling in absolute terror as my tormentor sat just behind that stall door.

"Hey kid you alright?" some random upperclassman asked me as he finished washing his hands.

I didn't answer him. I couldn't. My breathing had become heavy and rapid paced and I broke out in a cold sweat. My heart had now began racing so fast I thought it might explode. Then suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder and I flinched in terror, cowering and putting my arms up as if I was about to be assaulted.

"Jesse it's me Grant! Jesus Christ are you ok!?"

I looked up with terror filled eyes to see Grant standing over me, a severe look of concern across his face.

"I... I need to go. Somewhere away from here," I stammered out as began to try and make my way out of the bathroom. I moved too fast though and I lost my balance, nearly falling on my face. I was saved though by the upperclassman who managed to catch me.

"Yo man is this kid alright?" he asked Grant as the other people in the bathroom stared at me, causing my social awkwardness to return with a vengeance.

"I don't know what's wrong with him! Can you just help me get him outside so he can get some air?"

Apparently, the stranger agreed and helped escort my out of the bathroom while I stared at the ground, still shaking. They started to take me outside when Caleb and Rhett ran up to us.

"What the hell is wrong with Jesse!?" Caleb asked, his voice full of alarm.

"I don't know dude I went to check the restrooms like you asked and I found him looking like he had seen a ghost or something and when I touched him he flinched like I had hit him! When he saw it was me he just said he had to get away from here but he just kinda stumbled forward. This guy here caught him and was helping me take him outside," Grant explained.

"Man I appreciate your help but we got him from here," I heard Caleb tell the guy.

"Dude he looks like he needs some serious help. I should get a teacher," he began.

"No its ok really! He's just sometimes doesn't handle big crowds well and must have had a panic attack. He just needs some air while I call his brother," Caleb told him.

Meanwhile all that was racing through my mind was the thought I needed to leave before Willie saw me and hurt me.

I guess what Caleb said was convincing enough because the upperclassman walked off, though not before taking another good look at me. Caleb then immediately then replaced him at my side and began escorting my uncoordinated ass out of the building, telling me softly that everything was ok now while Rhett and Grant repeated Caleb's story to any teachers that stopped to ask if I was okay.

Once we made it outside and to the parking lot we came to a stop. My breathing still rapid, my heart racing, suddenly I felt incredibly dizzy and fell to my hands and knees. Caleb quickly handed his phone to Grant and told him to call Jordan while he dropped to his knees, gently placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Jesse," he said softly. "Jesse its ok. I'm here. Everything is going to be ok."

I looked up at him for a moment, our eyes locking. I could see the concern in his just as I was sure he could see the terror in mine. Then I threw up.

"Oh sheeit he is not alright!" I heard Rhett say, though her tone suggested it was out of concern for me as opposed to any kind of disgust at seeing me puke.

"Oh damn! Mr. Koenig he just puked all over himself and I think Caleb," I heard Grant say to my brother over the phone. "Yeah, yeah we are in the parking lot. Don't worry we won't let anything happen to him. See you soon sir."

I was now adding horrified to my list of emotions. I had just thrown up and I could feel it and smell it on my chin and on my forearms. And I could easily see it had gotten on parts of Caleb's jeans. I couldn't bring myself to look up. My shame was too much and I had reached an emotional breaking point, everything I was feeling had become too much to handle, so much so that I started to cry. I wasn't even sure what kind of tears they were, all I knew was that they had to come out. So I sat there on my knees, a puddle of vomit in front of me and bits on me and Caleb, tears pouring down my face as I quietly sobbed.

Caleb though didn't back away in disgust from the vomit or say anything about me breaking down like some kind of emotional baby. He just leaned in and wrapped his arms around, pulling me into an embrace. Rocking me back and forth, telling me everything would be ok.

We stayed like that for I don't even know how long, while my tears finally stopped, Caleb never stopping comforting me, while Grant and Rhett made sure block any passerby's views of me while keeping an eye out for Jordan. Finally, I heard the sound of car breaks on the gravel parking lot as a vehicle came to a stop, followed by a door opening.

"How is he?" I heard Jordan ask as he walked up to us.

"I think he's doing better. He stopped crying at least," Grant told him as he gave me a look of concern.

Jordan looked at me and walked over. As he slowly crouched down to my level Caleb finally broke the embrace he had me in, allowing Jordan to reach out to gently pat me on my back like he used to do when I was little and got scared, like during a bad thunderstorm.

"Hey there bud," he said soothingly to me before asking Caleb, "Do you know what happened?" Never at any point taking his caring eyes off me.

"I don't. He came out onto the dance floor randomly and started dancing with us for like an hour. Then he just bolted. Grant found him in the bathroom looking scared out of his mind. Then we took him out here and he threw up and started crying. Maybe a panic attack?" Caleb suggested, leaving out the part about what I said to him.

"Possibly, but I've smelled enough drunken vomit to know when someone's been drinking," Jordan said as I looked away out of shame, fresh tears began to trickle down my cheeks.

"Oh my god he was drinking!? I'm so sorry Jordan I don't know how that happened! It must have been before he joined us on the dancefloor. I shouldn't have left him alone..." Caleb began apologizing before Jordan cut him off.

"Caleb it’s not your fault. I don't blame you in the slightest ok? We can worry about how he got it later. First let's get him home. Jesse?" I briefly glanced at him before looking away again. "I'm not mad ok? I promise. But we need to get you into the truck. Can you stand up?"

I sniffled and gave him a nod and began to stand, but I guess in my emotional state I was still a bit lightheaded and I lost my balance. Jordan though quickly steadied me.

"It's ok if you can't. I can carry you." And without even waiting for me to give a response (Though I'm not sure I was even thinking of giving one honestly), Jordan effortlessly lifted me up and carried me to his truck.

"Caleb open up the door would you?" Jordan asked.

Caleb quietly did as he was asked and watched as Jordan gently placed me in the backseat, buckling me in.

"Ok he's secure now. Caleb please sit next to him and watch him. If he looks like he's about to throw up again try and get the window and help hold him while he does what he has to do," My brother instructed as Caleb nodded in understanding before he walked around to the other side of the truck and got in, scooting over so he was right next to me.

Jordan then walked over and thanked Grant for his helping to take care of me while introducing himself to Rhett before doing the same. Once he had finished, he got into the truck himself and began driving us home.

I'm pretty sure I passed out on the drive home because I don't remember a damn thing about it. The next thing I knew we were in our driveway and Jordan was lifting me out of the backseat and carrying me inside.

Once there he sat me down on the counter next to the sink and turned the water on before grabbing some soap and a washcloth.

"Caleb you go clean up in Jesse's bathroom. I'm going to get him out of this shirt and wipe him down where he puked on himself and then get him some water," Jordan told Caleb.

"Ok," Caleb said softly as he gave me an anxious look, apparently not wanting to leave my side. But nevertheless, he headed upstairs to my bathroom to get out of his soiled jeans and clean up.

Once he had disappeared, Jordan handed me a bottle of Gatorade from the fridge and ordered me to drink the clear colored sports drink as he began unbuttoning my shirt. Once he had succeeded, he went and threw it into the washing machine while I continued to sip on the Gatorade. When he returned, he wet the washcloth with warm water and some soap and began cleaning up my forearms where I had gotten puke on them, the warmth of the wet, soapy cloth soothing me.

"Jesse, I know I told you I'm not mad at you. That's true. But I am disappointed in you. I'd expect this kind of stunt from Caleb, and for that matter the fact he wasn’t involved astounds me. What were you thinking though, drinking at a school dance?" he asked me calmly, but sternly.

"I... I don't know. I just thought it would make the dance bearable..." I told him in a raspy voice, my throat sore, as I remembered my basic reasoning for doing it and opting to go with this story instead of the longer, more complicated truth.

"Where did you get it? Because I know you didn't bring it," he asked as he began wiping up my chin.

I hesitated before answering, I didn't want to rat Dom out and get him in trouble. Yeah, he gave me the stuff, but I chose to drink it.

"Well?"

"I, ugh, got it from someone I know," I said lamely.

"And this person is?" Jordan pushed.

"Can I please not tell? I don't want them to get in trouble for me being a dumbass," I said honestly.

Jordan sighed as he finished cleaning me up. "Fine. You don't have to tell me that. I suppose you're right anyway. I want you to finish your Gatorade now. Once you're done you're going to bed. I don't care that it’s early for you. I'm going to let Caleb stay the night because I know something else bothered you tonight and you need the company."

My eyes opened wide in surprise as he deduced that. But before I could say anything he continued, "I'm your older brother and effectively your parent. I've been taking care of you for about a decade now. I know things. Even things you may not know about yourself."

I just looked him in the eyes, not knowing what to say to that. And what did he mean by that last part?

Jordan then wrapped me in his muscular arms and hugged me gently. I slowly wrapped mine around him and hugged back as I began to feel a major headache come on. I doubted it was from the alcohol though. Too early. Probably from the emotional stress I was in and from throwing up.

"You were an idiot tonight, regardless of whatever else happened. When you wanna talk about I'm here. Now get some sleep. I’ll decide your punishment in the morning."

"Ok," I replied softly as we broke our embrace. Jordan affectionately rubbed my hair and gave me a warm smile as I gave him a small smile back. He then reached behind me and grabbed my toothbrush and toothpaste, handing it to me.

"I thought ahead. Might wanna brush your teeth before you go upstairs. Puke breath sucks for everyone," he chuckled. "In case Caleb is still using the bathroom, you can go ahead and leave them down here. I’ll put them back later."

I thanked him for his foresight (my brother really is amazing), and then slowly slid off the counter and turned to face the sink. I turned on the water and brushed my teeth before I made my way upstairs and to my room. I walked in, took off my jeans, turned out the lights and climbed into bed. I laid there for a few minutes not really thinking about anything before I heard my bedroom door open as Caleb quietly entered. I watched him as he made his way around to his customary side of the bed and slipped in underneath the covers.

We both laid there in silence for a couple minutes before I felt Caleb moving around and next thing I knew he was laying on his side, facing me. I didn't even have a thought other than to snuggle up into him. I didn't care why I did it or if he was gay or how it even made me look to do it. I needed to be close to him right then. I felt safe. Caleb, for his part, simply began to hold me again. Albeit with only one arm.

"You ok dude?" he asked me as he looked me in the eyes, concern still filling them.

"Yeah," I said quietly. "I'm ok now." Which was true. Besides the headache, I was doing a lot better.

"Is it because you really like to see me?" Caleb asked.

My eyes opened with a bit of panic as I remembered what started all of this, and I tried to pull away. Oh god, I thought, He did fucking hear what I said to him. Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck...

Caleb though held me tighter, refusing to let me go or break eye contact with me.

"I really like to see you too Jesse. I mean I really like to see you. Even when I'm mad at you I like to see you. And I've been wanting to tell you that for a while now. Even before I knew I wanted to."

The look on my face went from panic to confusion as I stared back at him, trying to understand what he meant by that.

"Caleb, what..." I started to say before I was silenced by Caleb pressing his lips against mine.

It finally happened! Hope the wait was worth it!

Hey everyone, I would like to take a moment at the request of one of my biggest fans to remind anyone who may be dealing with depression that no matter how bad things may seem, it WILL get better. Reach out, there are always more people than you could possibly know who love and care about you. Suicide is never the answer.

Please email me anytime at JesseJamesNiftyEmail@Gmail.com and I’ll always take the time to talk to you if you just need someone to listen.

 — Love, Jesse