Learning to Fly

So yeah, I've come to the conclusion I am going to take the next 10 minutes of my life (And as it so happens, English) to believe there is a god and ask him to make it so that A) there are mandatory showers after gym, and B) that we must take one after today.

Does this make me sound lustful and desperate? Hell yes it does. Do I care? The fuck no.

Then I had a thought. A small one but one that if correct would shatter my hopes and dreams. What if we didn't share lockers in gym!?

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was (nearly) hyperventilating!

Ok, I'm not actually that pathetic. But I do kinda want that to be a "thing". Anyone with a pair of eyes can objectively say Caleb's hot. I mean just look at him.... Ok scratch that so maybe you can't actually see him but still, just trust me on this. Bieber (before he decided to look like a full blown lesbian), Efron, hell the Sprouse twins ain’t got shit on him. Seriously. If I am gay (Again, I'm still unsure where I fall.), then I would be a twink loving twink as they say in the porn industry (Please don't ask how I know that) and if I'm not gay... well then I know how to appreciate my fellow man dammit!

Sooooo anywaaaayyy, back to English! The teacher, Mrs. Price (who I'm loving; she's old and is a master of sarcastic humor. Oh, and she has ferrets. So awesome), was just finishing telling us about her husband, Mr. Parker (She didn't take his last name if you're wondering) and how he is a substitute teacher around the school and is (according to the intel Caleb has gathered) insanely popular with the students and we all will eventually meet him.

The bell finally rang and me and Caleb headed out the door and towards gym. I decided to use this time to see if Caleb had gathered information on the shower... situation.

"So dude, what's the school’s policy on showers?" I asked as nonchalantly as I could, hopefully not revealing any of the excitement the thought secretly gave me.

"Huh?" came his confused response as he looked at me funnily. Then it seemed to dawn on him.

"Oh like do we have to take showers after gym? I've been hearing if you have it during the day it’s encouraged but not mandatory. But since we are the last period of the day though we definitely don't have to."

My heart sank a little. No getting to see what Caleb's packing compared to me. …​Damn, that was a gay thought if there ever was one.

"Why?" he suddenly asked as a sly smile crept onto his face. "Scared that other people will see your junk?"

The comment, harmless enough as it really was, immediately caused me to get a bit defensive.

"NO! Wait, I mean, doesn't bother me! We're all guys, right?"

Apparently Caleb found my reaction rather amusing (not that unusual when I make a dork out of myself, which, if you're paying attention, is a definite trend) and laughed. "Yeah, I know, I'm just teasing ya Jess."

"I know that!" I responded, attempting to save face, with a smile and an elbow to his arm.

"Hey watch it!" He laughed again and pushed me on my arm in retaliation.

We both shared a smile, but I could swear there was something else in his eyes than just playfulness. …​Eh, wishful thinking, I guess.

Right, then. On to gym!

Well here is the wrap-up on gym. We run, exercise, play sports, we do at least have to change in the locker room beforehand (#win) and Coach Lester is a massive dick. He is a huge Hawaiian dude who (you guessed it) coaches the football and wrestling team and is head athletic director. And did I mention a massive dick? I'm going to hate him.

More good news though is that my locker is only a couple down and across from Caleb, so I'll be able to steal glances of him. Hell yes. Curiosity can be satisfied (#nohomo).

Also since this was the last period of the day, as Mel Gibson once overdramatically cried at the end of Braveheart, FREEEEEEDOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!

As I headed down the athletic hallway and stopped by the vending machine to grab a soda, I heard the distinct sound of running feet and turned just in time to see Caleb catch up to me.

"Hey dude!" he beamed, seeming slightly out of breath.

"Hey what's up?" I beamed back. "Why so out of breath?"

"Oh, I just ran here from the locker room after I finished taking a piss. I wanted to catch you before you left me! Could have waited, you dick!"

I don't care if this has happened numerous times before; him wanting to catch me still made me all giddy inside. Didn't know what it meant. But I didn't care.

"Oh? Why's that? Couldn't stand to be without me already?" I teased (hoped).

He rolled his eyes at that but still kept his smile. "Oh you know it dude! But are you wanting to come over to my casa or your casa after school?"

"Well Jordan did text me and say he would be picking me — so really, us — up today so he could hear how the first day of high school went."

"So your place then?"

I pondered this for a moment before replying, "How about we see if we can con Jordan into a Slushee and then your place?"

Caleb's eyes lit up at the suggestion. "This idea pleases me."

"Dude I know you too well." I said with a smug grin.

We began to idly chit chat about our day, specifically about the parts we didn't share. Basic stuff like what we thought of our teachers, what friends we had in what classes and if we liked our schedule overall when Caleb asked me something that caught me completely off-guard.

"So, any hot girls in your classes?"

The question hit me hard, forget just off-guard.

"Uh…​ what? Girls? I uh... I don't know I guess?" I stuttered a response. Where in the fuck did that question come from? We’ve never actually talked about girls before.

Which by the way, is just now dawning on me that that's probably the weird thing. But more immediately, why was he asking me this now!?

"Really? You didn't notice if there are any?" Caleb asked with a questioning look.

Fuck what do I say? Seriously where in the hell is this coming from!?

"Yeah I guess I was just more focused on knowing what my classes are gonna be like. I mean why? Did you or something?" I asked, knowing that his probable answer was likely going to be something I secretly didn't want to hear.

"I don't know, just thought I'd ask. You've never mentioned girls before, so I was curious if you had seen any you thought were hot or something. I mean I saw a couple..."

There it was. Gut punch. My heart felt ripped out in that moment. If I had any doubts I'd been crushing on Caleb deep down, well, it was kinda hard to ignore it now.

"Well I didn't, ok? And what do you mean I haven't mentioned anything before? You sure as shit haven't either!" I replied probably (well, definitely) harsher than I should have.

Caleb was clearly taken aback by my little outburst, but it didn't take him long to retaliate.

"What the hell dude!? I'm just asking a question! You don't need to get all pissy with me!" His eyes narrowed in an annoyed way as his voice started to raise slightly.

"Well you don't need to start a damn inquisition on me out of the blue!"

At this point I was starting to get a little emotional. I always do when I'm bothered or upset by something. Especially when it involves Caleb. I could literally feel tears starting to build in my ducts but there was no fucking way I was gonna let them loose on the first day of high school in a crowded hallway.

"I'm not! It was just a question!" Caleb said, his voice rising a little more in his frustration and confusion, causing a couple of kids nearby to glance over at us.

Yeah fuck that. In no way on god's green earth am I gonna be part of a scene. I already have social awkwardness. I'm not getting a reputation on my first day of high school.

"Dude forget this! I'm gonna go find Jordan."

I turned around and quickly walked off, leaving a visibly annoyed and very confused Caleb behind me. He tried to call after me, but I ignored him and just kept walking away before I let my emotions get the better of me. I know it was just a stupid question, but why ask me that now? After a whole year of us being almost inseparable and never bringing up girls even once? Out of fucking nowhere, too?

I let out a sigh as I got outside. What the fuck is wrong with me? I thought. He didn't deserve that. Just because I'm the weirdo who possibly likes dick and his best friend more than he should doesn't mean I should have gotten so defensive. Dammit…​ now I gotta apologize later.

But it really stung hearing that question. And now I had to sort out all this shit myself. I wasn't ready to tell Jordan yet because I didn't know how he would feel. I know he loves me, but he did vote for the current President... And can you ever tell your straight best friend you're pretty sure you like him more than a friend?

"Fuck," I muttered. "This better not be a sign of how high school is gonna be for me. I hate how emotional I get over stupid shit sometimes."

And I especially hate how emotional I get over Caleb.

Just then I heard a honk. I looked up and saw Jordan waiting for me in the line of cars in front of the school. I hurried over to him and quickly jumped in the backseat and looked out the window, trying to avoid the line of questions that I knew were about to come.

"Ok bud, what's wrong. You got in the back seat, didn't say hi and I don't see Caleb anywhere." Jordan asked as he began to drive out of the pickup line.

I sighed before responding, "It's just really stupid ok? He asked a question and I was caught off guard by it and responded like a child. Can we please leave it at that?"

Jordan raised an eyebrow at me through the rearview mirror (Ugh I really hate how he can do that).

"Fine I'll leave it. But I gotta say you guys fight over some stupid shit sometimes. You're like an old married couple I swear."

That comment immediately caught my attention and I turned towards my brother.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Jordan glanced back at me briefly through the rearview mirror with a look that instantly warned me to not even think about getting an attitude before replying,

"You and Caleb fight each other over petty things sometimes. It's what happens when you spend so much time with someone. Hence the term `like an old married couple'."

"What are you saying I spend too much time with Caleb?" I asked, careful not to make it sound like I had an attitude.

"No. I'm just saying that because you do spend so much time together you guys sometimes fight over nothing. Just an observation. It'll happen again just like it's happened before."

Maybe that's why he asked me the question. I thought as I went back to looking out the window. We spend so much time together he may be wanting to low key establish he's not gay just in case.

The thought really bothered me, but I had to consider it. Even if Caleb doesn't have any feelings towards me that are more than platonic, I will always want him as a friend.

I sat there in silence before Jordan asked me how the rest of my day went. I opted to humor him to get my mind off my previous thoughts and let that occupy the rest of the ride home.

So, we got home without Jordan asking me any more questions about Caleb which was nice. But `questions' being the key word there.

"Well I'm going to go start figuring out dinner. I'm planning on dinner for three." He not so subtly told me as we walked into the kitchen and I started up the staircase.

I just nodded back without saying anything and went upstairs to my bedroom, throwing my backpack onto the leather office chair I had across from my queen sized bed. I paused and looked at it for a second, for some reason it was bothering me that I couldn’t remember where I got it.

Jordan gave that to me after he got it for free from... from, I have no idea where the hell he got it. Huh, I'll actually have to ask about that later if I remember. …​Eh, who am I kidding? I probably won't.

I laid down on my bed (Which by the way, was super comfy. Memory foam. Best non birthday/Christmas gift ever!) and pulled my phone out and looked at my screen saver, which was a picture of me and Caleb at my birthday last year.

Jordan had surprised me with three tickets to go see Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers live at the American Airlines Center in Dallas. See, as a kid I heard Tom Petty's music all the time growing up because Jordan loves him. So, naturally, I learned to love him too. Caleb isn't a huge Tom Petty fan, he's big into The Goo Goo Dolls, but he does enjoy a lot of music and was absolutely stoked to go with us. We had only been friends for a few months at that point, but he was already a part of our family. Jordan said it would have been wrong to not take him. We had such an amazing time that night. We even went to Dick's Last Resort for dinner! (For those that don't know, it's a restaurant in Dallas were the waiters are supposed to be absolute asses to you and they give you big white paper hats with offensive things about you written on them. Best restaurant ever.)

But the best part of the night was at the end of the show when Petty started singing "Learning to Fly," me and Jordan's absolute favorite song ever (though while Jordan sometimes switches it up to Wildflowers, it's usually the former). Everyone in the building, it seemed, pulled out their phones and turned on their flashlight so they could wave them to the song. And you bet your ass we did too.

I remember looking over at Caleb, amazed at how my favorite song could sound even more amazing live. He smiled that smile of his at me and put his arm around my shoulder and held his phone up and began to sway to the beat with me as I put my arm around his shoulder and did the same.

"Learning to fly," everyone in the crowd sang out.

"And coming down is the hardest thing"

"Learning to fly," we all sang out again as Petty and his bandmates broke out into a brief, but beautiful, instrumental only jam. And then, when Petty resumed singing, Caleb showed me something about him I hadn't learned yet when he began to sing along in perfect harmony in an absolutely beautiful singing voice,

At this point the whole crowd started singing along too:

"But I ain’t got wings But coming down is the hardest thing"

As the crowd took over the song, Petty just smiled visibly from the stage and responded to the crowd with ad-libbed lyrics,

"Yeah, that’s right"

"I’m learning to fly but I ain’t got wings"

"I’ll tell you one thing, baby, I’m gonna learn to fly"

"Coming down is the hardest thing"

"Yeah, and fly over my troubles, fly over my worries"

"I’m learning to fly but I ain’t got wings"

"Fly up high in the blue sky, lookin' down on the world below"

"Coming down is the hardest thing"

"Yeah, above all my worries, and over my troubles"

"I’m learning to fly but I ain’t got wings"

"Yes, it is, yes it will, gonna work, fly"

"Coming down"

"Baby, that’s the hardest thing"

The whole place erupted in cheers as the song came to a soulful close, Petty thanking everyone profusely. I turned to Caleb in amazement, "Dude!? You can fuckin' sing!?"

He smiled sheepishly and scratched the nape of his neck before responding, "Yeah a little, I guess. I kinda do it from time to time. Just thought this being your favorite song and all, I would... I don't know... try and make it a little extra memorable?"

I quickly gave him the biggest hug I've ever given anyone, surprising Jordan who was standing right next to us, not giving a damn who saw or what they thought.

"Thank you dude! You've totally ruined this song for me because it'll never be as good as it was just now, but thank you so much!"

Caleb snorted a dismissive laugh (SUPER fucking adorable by the way!) and returned the hug, "Of course dude. Thank you for inviting me. And thank you for being my friend."

We both looked into each other's eyes and smiled after he said that, causing my heart to swell up and my eyes to get a little misty. And it was in that moment I knew everything changed for me.

"Ok you guys this is a Kodak moment if I've ever seen one!" Jordan exclaimed over the noise of the crowd.

Me and Caleb both giggled and put our arms around each other's shoulders just like during the song and smiled as Jordan snapped a picture of us on his phone. It was a perfect ending to a perfect night.

As I finished recalling the memory and the song stopped playing on my phone (oh yeah, I started playing the live version of the song on my phone. God, I love that song), I heard a knock on my door.

I sighed before responding, "Jordan, I'm going to call him and apologize. You don't need to harass me about it."

The door started to open and I sighed again before sitting up, "Jordan, serious..."

But, to my surprise, it wasn't Jordan in my doorway but Caleb.

"Hey," he said nervously.

"Hey man. I was actually about to call..." I began before he cut me off.

"I figured. I was going to call myself, but I decided I'd rather do it in person. You know, bigger man and all that crap." He said with a small smirk.

This caused me to chuckle before responding, "Yeah you keep telling yourself you're the bigger man. We will settle that in the gym showers." I added my own sly wink at the end.

Caleb smiled and rolled his eyes.

"You just can't wait to be embarrassed by me can you Jesse James?"

"Can't be any more embarrassed than I know you are by your middle name Caleb Ashley." I stuck my tongue out at the end for what was in my immature mind for dramatic effect.

Caleb groaned but was smiling nevertheless.

"God, I hate my parents for a lot of things but that takes the cake. But anyway, are we cool dude?"

"Yeah man of course. I'm sorry for blowing up earlier for no reason." I said as I got off my bed and walked over to him.

"I'll forgive you this time." He replied before flashing his smile and hugged me.

"You'll forgive me next time too dork." I said playfully as I hugged back. I felt a rush of warmth through my body, something that only happens when Caleb does this.

"Soooooo..." Caleb began as we broke our embrace, "When he let me in, Jordan said he was expecting me for dinner. What's on the menu?"

"You didn't ask him? As much as you love his cooking, I'm shocked you didn't ask him that, first thing!"

"Dude he's such a good cook. All my parents do is order that healthy organic take out crap or just make it themselves. I hate it so much!" he whined like an adorable little puppy. (Is that weird to think about your friend? Whatever, he totally puppy-whined.)

"Well I can't argue with that!" I laughed. "Let's go find out."

We both hurried downstairs and into the kitchen to see Jordan working his culinary magic on something... meaty.

"Hey Jordan! What you making us tonight?"

Jordan quickly stopped whatever he was doing to that ground beef in his hands and spun around holding it with a shit eating grin that instantly told me he was about to say something incredibly corny.

"Well, it looks like meat. But it could be cake. So, it must be meatcake!"

Jesus Christ help his soul.

Caleb though busted out laughing, he never gets tired of that stupid joke.

"Fuck yeah! I love your meatcake!"

"See Jesse? People appreciate my talents!" Jordan said cheekily.

"I appreciate your cooking! Just not your corny-ass jokes you say every time you make meatloaf!"

"Meatcake." Both Caleb and Jordan `corrected' me in perfect unison as they looked at each other with that bizarre look of understanding they have when they both gang up on me.

"I hate both of you." I deadpanned.

"Like hell!" Caleb exclaimed while making his face super fucking adorable. "You love us!"

I narrowed my eyes at him before replying, "It varies throughout the day."

Jordan laughed, "Whatever bud. Dinner will be ready at 6ish. I'll be making mac and cheese and green beans to go with the... Caleb what's the appropriate name for it?"

"MEATCAKE!" He said in a rather loud sing-song voice, sporting an extra bright smile.

Jordan gave me another shit-eating grin as I rolled my eyes with only slight (ok, a bunch) exaggeration.

"That's my man!" he said happily as him and Caleb air fived.

"I can't be around you two anymore!" I declared as I threw my hands up playfully and walked out of the kitchen and back upstairs, listening to Jordan laugh and Caleb shout out for me to wait for him.

Well that's a wrap on chapter dos! Jesse definitely lets his emotions get the better of him, and Caleb being a bit hot headed doesn't make for the best mix. If you've never listened to the Live Cover version of Learning to Fly I highly encourage it. Absolutely beautiful song. Thank you so much for reading and be sure to tune in next time as Jesse meets his archenemy!

R.I.P. Tom Petty 10/20/1950 — 10/2/2017. You're among the Wildflowers now.

Please email me anytime at JesseJamesNiftyEmail@gmail.com and I'd be more than thrilled to respond to any and all comments, questions and yes, constructive criticism!