Learning to Fly

The rest of the weekend wasn't super eventful (at least compared to Friday night), woke up Saturday and ate breakfast followed by some swimming in Caleb's pool (I kept a shirt on as usual; Normally it's just because I'm too lazy to deal with sunscreen, but this time I was also trying to hide the bruise from Willie's kick) and then more gaming. Sunday we spent over at my house, watching football with Jordan. During this, I got to enjoy listening to him and Caleb scream obscenities at the TV like somehow the player who, and I quote, "Fucking couldn't hit the fucking broadside of a fucking barn if he was fucking standing next to it!" could hear their displeasure with how he was playing. We won if you're wondering. So much love.

Caleb did act a little funny though. It wasn't super bad, but I would occasionally catch him giving me weird looks that he would always try and cover up by either looking away or giving me a smile whenever I'd look at him. I wasn't sure if it had to do with what almost happened Friday night or what did happen Friday afternoon (or both), but something was on his mind and sooner or later I knew he'd bring it up.

Monday and Tuesday went by pretty standardly, which meant no sign of Willie or his apparent lackeys. I did see Jake in the halls a few times and made sure to say hi to him, which apparently surprised him. Guess the whole invisible thing really isn't an exaggeration. Humpday (Love that GEICO camel!) was not standard. In fact, it fucking sucked.

It all started with me running late to gym courtesy of an ill-timed call of nature. As I mentioned before, Coach Lester is a massive dick and felt that since I couldn't show up on time, I could make up for it after gym by staying late.

"I was 5 minutes late because I had to take a crap! This is so unfair! You're gonna make me miss the bus!" I protested rather unsuccessfully.

"Boy, you need to learn to take care of business on your own time. And if you talk back to me one more time, I'll make you stay late tomorrow too," he replied with a gruff tone, sounding just like the massive dick he is.

Well I quickly shut up and begrudgingly accepted my fate because it clearly could get worse. Caleb wasn't happy at all, but I successfully talked him out of verbally assaulting Coach Lester. Was not easy, believe me.

So, following a whole period of dodgeball (which I actually enjoyed, got to peg Caleb with my balls!), I watched as Caleb and everyone else left the gym to go change and catch the buses leaving me alone with Coach Lester.

"Ok boy. Let's get this over with so I can get out of here."

You motherfucker! So you can get out of here!?

He pointed at the white line where "the paint", as they call it in basketball, began and I started walking over.

"No walking on my court boy!" he said, voice raising in slight irritation.

"Yes sir," I responded back as I quickly jogged to where he wanted me. For the record, it's the school’s fucking court. Not yours, jackass.

"Alright, this is your first offense. So even though I don't like your attitude," I'm going to kick this mofo somewhere in his goddamn fat rolls, "I'm going to go easy on you. 15 suicides and you can leave."

I hate this man. I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him.

For those that don't know my hell, suicides consist of running to multiple progressively distant lines, within a set, as fast as you can. I had to do this to four different lines 15 times. I am not an athlete and I hate cardio.

Coach Lester blew his whistle and I began. The first two actually weren't too bad but things quickly deteriorated from there. This shit was fucking exhausting and again, I'm not an athlete. And just because he wanted to make it extra fun, Coach Lester made sure to "encourage me" along the way.

"Goddammit boy this is pathetic! Hurry your ass up! I have places to be!"

I'm going to throw up. And then I'm going to kill him. I'll work out how after I throw up.

By the 11th suicide I was effectively dead and was sweating worse than a whore in church (great line by the way). I'm pretty sure I at some point I must have turned into a zombie and was utilizing their unexplainable motor skills because I have no fucking idea how I was able to keep my legs moving. I honestly have no idea how long it took, but I eventually either must have done all 15 or I was that infuriating to watch that he couldn't take it anymore, because Coach Lester told me my "pathetic ass" could stop.

I immediately fell to my knees in exhaustion, gasping for air and so tired I didn't even want to raise my arms to wipe the flood of sweat off my forehead.

Fuck how do athletes do this shit? It's just not right.

"Jesus stop being dramatic boy. Get off your ass and get to the locker room. You've held me up long enough."

Let's just say the angry, psychotic thoughts that went through my head at that moment aren't suitable for print.

I somehow dug deep inside myself and summoned the inner strength necessary to drag my ass up off the ground and zombie walked to the double doors that opened up to the athletic hallways. I then managed to dig even deeper and found the strength to open them and, ever so gracefully, did some kinda walk/fall combo thing into the hallway and right into the arms of Caleb!

"Dude you look like you've never experienced cardio a day in your life!" he said with a small chuckle as he helped me stay propped up.

I gave him a dirty(ish) look and replied, "In my pants there is a dick. Choke on it."

Caleb gave an amused grin to that. "Nah I'm good. But ask me again after you've showered and maybe I'll have a different answer." He finished that remark with a wink as he began helping me walk down the hallway.

_Dear god I'm exhausted but don't even give me that thought. I can't hide a boner in these athletic shorts!-

"Don't tempt me. But more importantly, why are you here still?" I asked, breath slowly returning to me.

"You seriously think I was gonna go home without my bestie while he's being punished by the world's biggest douche?" he answered, feigning hurt.

"Well... fuck I'm exhausted... you're a better friend than me. (Total lie) Phew! I didn't know the heart could beat this fucking fast! How are you getting home then?"

"I called my mom and told her you screwed up for once," he playfully teased me. "She will be here pretty soon to pick us up."

"Thank Jesus. I honestly had no idea how I was gonna get home. I doubt Jordan could have left work early today," I replied thankfully as we entered the locker room.

I sat down on the bench in front of my locker and peeled my sweat-soaked shirt off and let out a sigh.

Good god it feels good to sit.

"You need any help changing?"

That got my attention. I turned to look at Caleb who had an adorably cheeky face right now, and wondered how serious that offer could possibly be. The twisted side of me really wanted to find out, but the rational side of me realized this was so not the time or place.

"You know I actually do appreciate the offer," this got Caleb's attention, "But I'll be good. I just need a minute and probably a rinse in those showers."

I swear to god Caleb showed the briefest look of disappointment on his face before responding, "Ah, ok dude. Well I'll just chill here in case you do need anything."

Dammit, he's such a sweetheart sometimes isn't he? But I knew I'd get such an erection if he stayed.

"It's all good, dude. How about you head out and meet your mom. There's like, no reception in here and you don't want her calling away and freaking out because you aren't answering." I mean, that all is true.

Caleb quickly pondered this and agreed I was right (see?), telling me he would meet me out front of the school in about 20 minutes.

As soon as I heard him exit the locker room I slowly stood up, much to my exhausted muscles' dismay. I was able though to shuck my athletic shorts and boxers and made my way to the shower area so I could rinse all this goddamn sweat off me.

I turned on one of the heads towards the back of the shower room, just out of sight of the open entryway so I wouldn't be giving an unintentional show to anyone who might wander in, and waited for the water to get to temperature.

"Perfect," I said to myself as the water warmed just enough to be soothing but still cool enough to be refreshing.

I stepped into my little artificial rainfall and relaxed, just standing there for a few minutes and enjoying the feeling of not moving.

I looked to my right and on the wall observed what looked like soap dispensers. After determining through a very scientific process that these were clearly meant to be used for the cleaning of the body, I put a good amount on my right hand and casually lathered up my body.

I mean, if I'm already here. And quite frankly, I fucking deserve this right now.

I had gotten my face and chest washed up pretty good and was working on my happy fun time area, casually enjoying the happy fun feelings it was giving me, when I suddenly felt an unexplainable coldness. Like there was an ominous presence in the room with me. I tried to shake it off and just assumed my exhausted body was merely having a weird reaction to the soothing waters but couldn't.

"Caleb?" I called out tentatively. "Are you in here?"

"Nah white boy I ain't Caleb."

The shower instantly felt ice cold, and the semi I had had shrunk so much I'm pretty sure it turned into a vagina.

I slowly turned my head, hoping I was wrong but knowing I wasn't, and saw Willie Weathers leaning against entryway to the showers, arms crossed and smiling sadistically at me. Like a cat who had a mouse cornered. To use the phrase "white as a ghost" would have been like saying I had a good tan right now.

"Look at what we have here. A lost white boy playin' with himself in public after hours. Man, if you ain't a fag you definitely a perv. I guess I'll have to decide which is worse," he said as he took as step towards me.

In all my life, I had never really understood how someone could be frozen in fear. I always assumed it was something made up for dramatic effect in stories. And that if someone was in real danger, their survival instincts would kick in. But in that moment? I learned exactly what it meant.

"I was... I was j-just wash... washing..." I began stuttering before Willie cut me off.

"White boy I don't care what you was doin' at first after that sad little workout Coach put you through. I care about what you was doin' now," he said, heavily emphasizing the "now".

He came to stop right in front of me, just out of the spray of the water, towering over me with malicious intent. He then reached his arm out and my instincts finally kicked in. I flinched, badly I'm sure. But he never touched me. Instead, he reached around and past me and turned the water off.

"There, that's better. Don't want that fair skin of yours to get all pruny." He smiled with a sick, mock concern.

I looked up at him, unsure what to think right then, when suddenly he drilled me in my chest and my back exploded in pain as I was forced against the wall. My cry of pain muffled as his other hand covered my mouth at the same time.

"Ah ah ah. None of that white boy. I am gonna have to teach you a lesson in pain tolerance so you can enjoy all the fun we gonna have this year!" he said with a kind of joy no human should have.

He popped me in the chest again, hard enough to make me lose my muffled breath. He then "allowed" me to fall to my knees, desperately gasping for air. Once I had, he kicked me in my side, in the exact same spot he kicked me Friday.

"Man you clumsy! Looks like you slipped in the shower!"

I fell onto my other side, caught between still trying to regain my breath and crying out in pain, eyes burning with tears. To make things even worse, Willie began laughing at me, adding humiliation as the perverted cherry on top of everything.

"You feel that white boy? That's what it's like to be my bitch. Your faggot-ass friend Jake be knowin'. And just a friendly reminder, ain't no help comin'. Coach wouldn't dare say or do anything that would cost him his star wrestler, especially for your pathetic ass."

He then pushed on my ass with the bottom of his shoe for emphasis.

"There also are ZERO cameras in here, in the athletic hall or at the exits outside. So as far as the rest of the world cares, I ain't even here. So if you were as fucking dumb as you look, it's your word against mine. A fucking nobody versus the school god. And I got plenty of people who will give me an alibi. Now look at me."

I looked up at him through tear-blurred vision.

"You slipped in here if anyone does decide to care about your ass for some reason. You a goddamn klutz. You understand me?"

"Y-yeah..." I croaked out.

Willie then reached down and firmly grasped me by my hair.

"Now that's how to be a good little bitch. Man, you learn fast white boy! I like you! But just gotta do one last thang to show you your place."

He then spit on my face and shoved me to the ground before standing up and admired his work. Once he was satisfied, he reached over to the wall and turned the shower back on, cold water hitting my body and causing me to jerk painfully in shock.

"Looks like you missed some soap. See? I'm a great guy when you get to know me."

He let out another laugh and turned to leave before pausing a moment, causing me to brace for one final impact just like in our last encounter. But this one was infinitely worse.

"Oh, I almost forgot! About this Caleb boy you was calling for earlier? That your boyfriend, fag? Hmm? Well maybe I'll just keep an eye out for him. Maybe introduce myself. Any friend of Jesse's is a friend of mine."

Oh god no. Not Caleb. He can't go after him too. I don't even fucking care that he somehow knows my fucking name! I can't let Caleb be dragged into this no matter the cost.

"No... leave him alone please..." I begged. "I won't tell anyone anything other than I slipped or any other story you want me to tell I swear. Just please... please leave him alone."

"Keep being that reasonable and I don't see why we can't come to an understanding." A second later he added, "Li'l bitch."

He then gave me one last sadistic smile and left the showers, and a moment later I heard the exit at the back of the locker room open and shut.

Once I knew I was alone, I dragged myself up and slowly made my way to my locker, pain shooting through my body. I managed to seat myself on the bench and was able to reach into my open locker and get my boxers and the shorts I wore to school on, gingerly putting them on. I paused to rub the tears out of my eyes.

"I won't let that monster hurt Caleb," I said to myself as I silently sobbed. "I got myself into this. I can survive it. But, whatever it takes, I can't let Caleb get involved. Whatever that means for me…​ it'll be worth it."

"OH MY GOD JESSE!"

I was so startled I damn near fell off the bench.

Fuck I need to pay more attention. I thought as I immediately began to be inspected all over by Caleb, tears of concern falling down his face.

"Jesse what the fuck happened to you!? You've got a huge assred mark on your side and back. And don't you dare fucking lie to me!" he said as he gently, but firmly, grabbed my shoulders and looked me in the eye.

He can't know, Jesse. If you don't lie to him, he will get hurt or worse.

"I uh... slipped in the shower. Hit my back pretty good. Guess I hit my side too and aggravated it from the other day..." I could feel my gut wrench as lied into Caleb's eyes.

Caleb clearly didn't believe me and the hurt in his eyes was unmistakable.

Steel your fucking resolve Jesse... Goddammit you gotta keep him safe.

"Jesse... please... I'm your best friend... Something happened, and it wasn't a fucking slip," Caleb was truly crying now; I think for the first time in my life I knew what heartbreak was. Like a knife being twisted around in your heart.

"Caleb... please... don't cry... I'm ok... just help me get my shirt on... please?" I practically begged. It took every ounce of my willpower and then some to not break down myself.

Caleb sniffled and rubbed his nose, just nodding as he grabbed my shirt out of the locker and helped me as I gingerly slipped it on. I then slowly stood up, wincing in pain from my back as Caleb looked at me as if his own heart was breaking.

"Jesse..."

"Caleb no! I'm fine! It was an accident ok?" I said far harsher than I meant.

Caleb was clearly taken aback and hurt, but he held his tongue. I looked away as a tear cracked my façade and rolled down my cheek, the emotional stress of this entire ordeal beginning to overwhelm me. I quickly wiped it away and grabbed my backpack before turning and silently leaving, Caleb right behind me.

I’ll spare you the painfully awkward details of the car ride home. But I was able to convince Mrs. Hollingsworth I slipped, and Caleb had just overreacted to seeing my soon-to-be bruise when she saw me gingerly enter her brand-new Cadillac Escalade and Caleb's puffy eyes. Granted I was also helped out by the fact her phone was being blown up by potential clients. Caleb for his part silently stared out the dark tinted windows, refusing to look at me. Can't say I blamed him...

Mrs. Hollingsworth dropped me off in front of my house and drove off. I assumed Caleb was too upset to say bye or anything. I reached into my pocket to fish out my house key when I felt a gentle touch on my shoulder.

Fuck he got out too...

"Caleb..."

He quickly cut me off, "Jesse listen! Please let me stay with you. At least that. I can't go home knowing there's something up with you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I l…​ uh care about you too much dude. You're basically my brother!"

I could see the fresh tears starting to build in his eyes as the thoughts began to race through my mind,

And I'm just like a brother? Is that how I feel about him? No, now's not the time for this shit.

"K," came my soft reply as I turned and walked up to my door and unlocked it, dropping my backpack and kicking off my shoes before heading straight to the couch. I pulled my phone out and began streaming music to the TV. "Praying" by Kesha came on first.

Yeah, no.

I changed songs and exhaled. Fuck that was a little too close to home. Caleb quietly sat down next to me, pulling his knees into him and resting his chin on top.

"Can I play something?" he asked quietly.

I nodded and handed him my phone. He scrolled through my music library before settling on Hurt by Johnny Cash.

Damnit. I know what he's doing...

"Caleb if you want to say something just say it. Don't hide behind a song, that's so not you..."

"Well it sure as shit isn't like you to lie to me!" he snapped, surprising me. "This is twice now in less than a week. I know something more than a slip happened today. And I know there's more to what happened Friday. And if you won't fucking tell me I'll find that Jake kid and get him to tell me..."

"You will do no such thing!" I demanded, anger starting to build. "You promised you'd leave that alone!"

"Well maybe I don't care what I promised! Especially if your gonna straight up lie to me!" he argued back, voice rising.

"I'm not lying to you! Nothing happened either time and if you find Jake he will tell you the same thing!"

"That's not the same as telling me it's the truth!" Caleb asserted, looking me in the eye and making me squirm a bit.

Fuck I hate that he can be so perceptive sometimes...

"Caleb just stop. I. Am. Fine."

"YOU'RE NOT FUCKING FINE!" Caleb yelled, taking me aback slightly. "I know you too fucking well Jesse! Goddammit, why don't you trust me? You know what? Fuck it then! If you won't talk to me then you can talk to Jordan when he gets home..."

"GET OUT!" I screamed, shocking Caleb into wide eyed surprise and silence.

"Jesse you can't..." he began softly after a moment of uncomfortable silence.

"Caleb get out! I can't deal with you anymore right now. Especially if you're going to keep harassing me about nothing and threaten me with my brother!" I demanded angrily.

Fresh tears began to fall down Caleb's cheeks as he slowly stood and collected his things. He opened the door and took on last look at me as I angrily pointed out, wanting to say something more but unable to find the words. He defeatedly turned and left, slamming the door behind him.

As soon as I saw him make it down the walkway and head off home I finally broke down, tears pouring down my face for a multitude of reasons as I bawled my goddamn eyes out. School was now going to be a personal hell that I couldn’t escape or even tell anyone about, and I was having to shun the one person I cared for the most, a person I was having feelings for that I knew I shouldn't.

"Whatever it takes." I said between sobs and gritted teeth. "Whatever it fucking takes."

Well, yeah. Sorry to get all depressing there readers. Also, sorry this was delayed getting out. But better late than never and chapter 6 should be out on time!

Please email me anytime at JesseJamesNiftyEmail@Gmail.com and I'd be more than thrilled to respond to any and all comments, questions and yes, constructive criticism!

 — Jesse