Learning to Fly

I sat there in absolute shock, my jaw dropping almost cartoonishly, completely unsure of how to respond. Jake meanwhile just sat there looking at me, patiently waiting for me to respond as if he had just asked how the weather was outside.

"What, what what?" I replied in an unintentional (though damn good if I do say so myself) Sheila Broflovski impersonation.

"You seem surprised by my question. Am I wrong to believe that you have feelings for Caleb that go beyond mere friendship?" Jake asked about as quizzically as he can.

"No... I mean yes... or no I... what?" I stammered dumbfoundedly.

"Well, based on how you reacted to the idea of Caleb's well-being coming into danger from Weathers, I concluded that he meant more to you than just a friend. You reacted as one would expect from a lover," Jake stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"No... no no no no... I'm not gay. Caleb's not gay either," I refuted.

"Well I never said you were gay. Or Caleb for that matter. You could be a few things. Though I suppose gay would be the most normal conclusion to jump to," Jake said thoughtfully. Though I'm not really sure if he was speaking to me or himself.

"I'm not gay, Jake..." I felt a lump begin to form in my chest as I said that. Honestly, I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince anymore.

"Is the idea that you may like guys, or at least a particular guy, that upsetting? You do not seem to have any issues with me being interested in men. Why do you think it would be an issue if you might?" Jake asked me in what appeared to be his version of curiously.

My mind was racing, so much it almost hurt. I do care about Caleb a lot... Is it more than a friend? Does that make me gay? Bi? Goddammit, why is this so confusing... I thought to myself. And if so, am I that obvious? Have others picked up on it? Is that why Grant made that joke? Was he really being serious?

"Jesse."

The sound of Jake's voice, and the fact he called me "Jesse" for the first time, snapped me out of my runaway train of thought.

"You can talk to me. You know I am not going to judge you one way or the other," he said, giving me a sympathetic look, something I knew now wasn't easy for him to do.

I just looked at him for a moment in silence, my mind near broken trying to comprehend how to handle the situation. Then I felt the tears on my cheeks. And once I did, the emotional dam broke and all my suppressed wishes and fears came pouring out.

"I... I don't know what I am ok?" I said, the words practically choking me as they came out. "I'm so fucking confused Jake! I have these thoughts and feelings towards Caleb that I... that I know aren't normal for a boy to have for another boy." By now the tears are just flowing out of me like a broken faucet. "And I... I don't want to fucking have them but, at the same time I do... I don't want to be different... I don't want my brother to hate me... but I want to be with Caleb... I want to be with him all the damn time... and it fucking hurts when I'm not... And then what if he doesn't feel the same way and... And what if it causes problems between us..." I trailed off, too choked up to say any more.

"Being different is not something to be ashamed of. Unless of course you are a pedophile or serial killer, but I digress. It is ok if you love Caleb. Do not let what other people think matter to you Jesse. Your self-worth is so much more than that. And as for your brother? I can only speculate, but I am quite sure that he has had to make enormous sacrifices to raise you by himself. Someone who is willing to do that will not suddenly stop loving you for being gay. It is simply not logical," Jake told me assuringly.

I sniffled and wiped away some tears before responding, "Maybe you're right, but Jordan is…​ Well, I can give you a hint as to who he votes for."

"Has Jordan ever voiced a negative opinion about gay people before?" Jake asked.

"Well... not that I know of..."

"Did he make any kind of negative comments when the Supreme Court legalized gay marriage?"

"Nothing that I can think of..."

"Does he have any gay coworkers?"

"Yeah I think he does... or, at least, had..."

"And has he ever stated any kind of issues he has working with them?"

"Outside of their work habits, no…​"

"Look, I read a lot of political commentary from people on both sides online and I will say this, a great many of those on the right do not really care about if you are gay. Your brother has his reasons for voting for the way he does. But it sounds like it has nothing to do with some kind of hatred of homosexuals," Jake reasoned.

"I mean, I guess that makes sense... but..."

"Then what are you so afraid of?"

"Because I know those people are out there! And, and Jordan is all I’ve ever had! And if there’s even the chance that he would hate me... Jake I can't lose my only family! You wouldn't understand..." As soon as I said that my eyes opened wide and I looked at Jake. "Jake I'm..."

Jake held up his hand and I stopped talking.

"It is ok. I know what you mean. Despite it being less than ideal, I do have a family and I would also be saddened to lose them, even Zoe. I think I see your fear now. Perhaps you're not afraid so much of being gay. But you're afraid of being anything that, in your mind, could cost you the one person in your life who has always been there.

"I do hope you find out otherwise. But, for the time being at least, I can sympathize with your thought process."

I just sat there, sniffling and trying to process that when Jake moved on.

"Now as for Caleb..."

"What about him?" I asked, wiping my drying tears.

"Do you think he may have feelings for you?"

I sighed before responding, "Fuck... I don't know... I'm clearly not the most `aware' person on earth."

"Well, has he ever done anything to make you suspect his intentions are more than friendly?"

"I guess he never gets tired of being around me maybe? He always seems just as eager as I am to hang out..."

"Has he had any girlfriends?" Jake queried.

"Well, no..."

"Interesting," Jake said with as thoughtful nod. "Anything else?"

"Well? What happened that night?" Jake pressed.

"This stays between us, ok?" I told him as seriously as I could muster.

"Of course this does. Besides, who would I tell anyway?" Jake scoffed in his own way.

"Yeah, guess you're right about that... well, we were in his room playing video games when he asked me if I wanted to watch some porn..."

I looked at Jake, who merely nodded for me to continue.

"Well I agreed, and he started showing me a video..."

"What was the video like?" Jake interrupted me

"Huh? What do you mean?" My face probably showing my level of confusion.

"What kind of porn was it? What did the actors look like?" Jake asked with a rather keen interest.

"Ummm... It was just some standard stuff really... the girl was sucking the guy's dick and yeah..."

"And what did they look like?" Jake asked again.

Why the hell does that matter? Whatever, I'll humor him...

"I dunno. The guy was a typical muscle jock guy, and the girl, like, had short hair and kinda smaller tits, I mean…​what do you want to know?"

"So would you say she looked boyish?"

"…​I mean, yeah, I kinda thought so, too…​"

That caused the normally stoic Jake to raise an eyebrow (dammit, he can do that too!?).

"So the girl was boyish looking? That's very interesting. What happened next?" he asked, completely ignoring my question.

I felt my face begin to get warm as I answered, "He uh... he asked me if my dick was straight or curved. I told him. He told me what his was like and then... hekindaaskedmeifIwantedtosee."

I said that last part so fast I'm not sure I even understood it.

Jake blinked a couple of times and looked at me. I meanwhile was staring at his comforter in order to avoid eye contact.

"Jesse would you mind saying that again? And this time with pronunciation?"

Dammit do I have to?

I sighed and repeated what I had said, "He asked me if I wanted to see his dick.... And I kinda, maybe told him yes..."

I don't think my face could have ever gotten redder. I don't care how understanding Jake may be...

"How did that go?" Clearly, Jake has zero regard for how embarrassed I'm getting telling him this...

"Jesus with all the questions! It didn't `go' ok? We heard his dad come home and it startled us and we lost our nerve," I replied, now a little irritated.

"You seem bothered by my inquiry," Jake stated.

"I mean, yeah. Just a tad," I sighed with some frustration.

"Well I'm sorry then. That was not my intent."

I rubbed my forehead and replied, "Look, it's fine. This is all just weird to me."

"That is a fair way to feel. But in regard to Caleb, it sounds like there may be some interest there from him. But it could be hormone-fueled curiosity too."

I just stared at Jake. All that and that's all he can say? I could have fucking come up with that!

"That... that's all you got? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Well if it makes you feel better, there is definitely a chance," Jake replied. I really couldn't tell if he was fucking with me or not.

"Can we move on from this topic? I really don't wanna talk about Caleb anymore ok?" I asked Jake, almost pleadingly.

"As you wish. So what does it look like?"

"Gah... um... huh... wha?" I'm so fucking eloquent...

"What the fuck did I literally just ask you!?" I nearly shouted, exasperated as shit.

"You asked if we could stop talking about Caleb. I am now asking about your penis," Jake replied as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

I felt myself aging courtesy of stress right then.

"That has to do with Caleb still! You're asking because he did!"

"No, I am asking because I am curious. Though I guess if you had not told me about him asking and you telling him, I would not have thought to bring it up."

"Yeah but..." Jesus Christ I'm not gonna win this. Just let it go Jesse. "Fine, whatever. It curves upwards some. Curiosity satisfied!?"

"Interesting. Mine and Andrew's were both straight." Well I guess he's just gonna volunteer that information... "May I see it?"

So, I know I've said a few times Jake has surprised the absolute hell oughta me, so when I say my eyes shot open in complete surprise, I'm not trying to be redundant. It was an eventful hang out.

"Come again?" I managed to stutter out.

"I would like to see it. I have never seen a curved dick in person before," he asked like it was the most normal thing ever.

"I...don't know if we should..." I'll admit that didn't come out super convincingly.

"Well I will not force you, obviously. But I do not see an issue. We are both guys, and it is my understanding that it is perfectly normal for even two straight guys around our age to compare," he stated as if he was casually conveying a fun fact.

Dear god it's almost like Déjà vu. Am I back at Caleb's house? Well, I mean, you were totally down to see Caleb's dick, Jesse, and it's not like Jake isn't a bad looking guy... Dammit...

I leaned my head back and did that weird thing where you vibrate your lips kinda like a horse. What the hell's that called anyway? Whatever, not important.

"God, I can't believe I'm about to do this..." I muttered to myself, though still loud enough where I knew Jake heard me.

I got on my knees and undid my belt and the button. I paused for a second at the zipper to my jeans, taking a moment to breathe. Then before I could change my mind, I closed my eyes tight and pulled my zipper down and grabbed the sides of my jeans and boxers and pushed them down far enough for my (soft) dick to be exposed.

I kept my eyes closed as I sat there on Jake's bed, my dick exposed to another human being intentionally for the first time since I was a little kid getting bathed by Jordan. I shuddered a little bit as I felt the cool air of the room touch my hairless cock and balls and also from the eyes I knew were studying it.

"It is soft. Also, hairless. I am sure that is a cosmetic choice though," Jake observed.

"No shit it's soft Sherlock! Who could possibly be hard in a situation like this? And yes, I shave. I like how it looks!" I said defensively, finally opening my eyes and shooting Jake a look.

"Well the situation is not bothering me," Jake stated as he got on his knees.

"Jake what are you..." Before I could finish Jake unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them and what I think were briefs down, exposing a pair of somewhat fur-covered thighs and, more importantly, a rock-hard dick that looked to be about eight inches in length and plenty thick, along with two plump, hairy balls and a healthy bush of red pubes.

"That's... uh... That's impressive…​" I gulped as I felt a stirring in my loins.

"It is `bigger than average' from what I understand. I would guess yours to be around five and three quarters length when hard. So slightly bigger than average," Jake somehow determined as he studied my dick some more.

I blushed and looked away, his attention making me more nervous and keeping me soft. Even if I was admittingly turned on by the sight of his package.

"Um... thanks? I guess?"

"Do you need help getting hard so we can confirm, and so I can see your curve?" Jake asked.

"Now what exactly do you mean by `help'?" I asked with a questioning look as I looked back at him.

"Are you willing to trust me?" Jake asked sincerely as he looked me in the eye.

Fuck... I'm about to cross so many lines...

"Yeah," I answered hoarsely.

Jake nodded and slowly reached over with his left hand and took my soft member in it, causing me to inhale sharply.

"Oh man..." I said through a sudden shortness of breath.

Then Jake firmly grasped me and began to tug on it. I began to feel electricity shooting through my body as my dick began to react to the sensation of someone else touching it, hardening rapidly as my inhibitions melted away like ice in the summer heat.

I let out a soft moan as I closed my eyes again and just began to enjoy the sensation of my first ever handjob.

Holy fuck nuggets this feels amazing. I thought. I never imagined letting someone else do it could feel so much better than Mrs. Palm-ela Hand-erson! Yes, I nicknamed my hand for when I jerk off. Go ahead and laugh.

"I see your curve now. Very interesting," Jake stated. Though once again I wasn't sure if he was just speaking aloud or talking to me. This is going to be a recurring thing...

I just responded with an absolutely fucking eloquent "Mhmmmmmmm...." And resumed enjoying his hand.

"Would you like me to stop or keep going?" Jake asked me.

"Oh god yes!" I moaned.

"I am going to assume that means keep going," Jake said with a small smile. "But give me a second. I can make it feel better."

"Huh... hey what!?" I exclaimed as the sensations suddenly stopped.

He paused just long enough to reach over to his nightstand and grab some lotion I somehow didn't notice before and applied a dollop to his hand, rubbing it in before returning to me.

I shuddered as I felt the coolness of the lotion come into contact with my dick, but the odd feeling only lasted a moment before my senses went into hyperdrive as I felt Jake's slickened hand work up and down my shaft, paying special attention to my head and glans.

My eyes rolled back into my head and my mouth fell open slightly, soft moans escaping as I experienced the most amazing feeling I had yet felt. Suddenly I felt my balls tightened and the familiar feeling of pressure building up.

"Ja... Jake!" I got out. "Gon... gonna cum dude!"

In response Jake reached out with his other hand and began feeling up my smooth balls and focused his other hand on working my glans. It was too much for me to handle and before I knew it, I was shooting.

"Ugh…​ ugh... ugh…​" Was the only noise I could make as I literally fired out my load like a goddamn cannon (It was pretty impressive), blasting Jake on his lips, chin and shirt before I began to lose power and the rest shot or drizzled out onto his hand.

I sat there catching my breath as Jake began inspecting my cum like it was a scientific curiosity.

"You shoot a lot. Has it been awhile?"

I blushed a bit and replied, "Yeah it’s been a few days. I haven't been in the mood much lately. Plus that felt amazing! Sorry for getting it all over... DID YOU JUST EAT IT!?" I said the last part in shock as I saw him lick the cum off his lips and swallow.

"Hmm salty. Heavy protein diet I assume?" Jake asked me, not even acknowledging my question or shock.

"Dude. You just ate my cum!"

"Yes and?"

"You ate my cum!" I repeated in disbelief at his casualness.

"I wanted to taste it. I have done it before," Jake informed me in continued casualness.

"So you like... like it?" I asked incredulously.

"I do actually. But I feel that is normal for gay men. Have you never tried yours?" Jake asked, almost as if he was surprised that I might not have.

"I mean... no.... I guess I've thought about it, but I always felt like if I did it would be, I don't know, gay or something, I don't know..." I said looking away as I said the last part, realizing how now more than ever that fear was becoming ridiculous.

Jake took his right pointer finger and wiped some of my cum off his chin and held it out for me. I looked at him, then it, back to him and then back to my cum again before taking my pointer finger and nabbing it off his and slowly putting it into my mouth.

"Huh... not sure what I think of that. It's like salty... I don't even know, '' I said after I'd swallowed.

Jake meanwhile had taken his cum stained shirt off and used it to start cleaning himself up, still hard as a rock though. Seeing this, I suddenly was overcome with urge to feel his as well.

"Hey Jake?"

He paused to look at me.

"Do you... want me to jerk you off?"

"If you are ok with it, sure. But I do not want you to feel obliged to," he responded as he finished wiping his hands off.

I took a deep breath and nodded, "Yeah, I kinda do want to. Plus, maybe it'll help me figure myself out more."

Jake just nodded and reached over and grabbed the lotion, handing it to me. I put a dollop on my right hand and worked it in. I then took another deep breath.

"Well... here it goes."

I slowly reached over and wrapped my hand around the thickest portion of Jake’s dick, about halfway up (down?) the veiny shaft, feeling it pulse and the heat radiating off it. It felt so familiar yet so different compared to my dick. I began to stroke it, admittingly admiring its thickness and length.

"You have a porn star dick dude," I complimented him, partly mesmerized by what I was doing.

"I appreciate it Jesse," came Jake's simple response.

Guess we are on a first name basis now.

I began to pick up speed, trying to find a rhythm and imitate what Jake had done to me. Soon enough I found my groove and actually started getting into it. I even chubbed back up!

I looked up and Jake's face to see his eyes closed behind his glasses (Raise your hand if you’re reading this and totally forgot he had glasses!). His normally stoic face betrayed to the fact he was enjoying the feeling of my hand on his.

Don't ask me what possessed me to do this, maybe it was something being released from the suppressed corners of my mind, but I decided to up the ante and reached out with my other hand and began feeling around Jake's mildly hairy crack for his hole.

Jake's eyes opened in surprise and he looked at me. I nodded to him, hoping to convey I was doing this on purpose. I don't know if he got the message or not, but he went back to enjoying what I was doing to him.

Finally, I found his hole and began to apply some pressure to it, after some initial resistance, felt my finger slip in to the first knuckle, causing Jake to give off the slightest sigh. I pushed in a little more and got to my second knuckle before I started moving my finger around while I jerked him. From there it didn't take long till I noticed Jake's breathing rapidly increase in pace. He didn't say anything, but I knew what was about to happen. But, much to my surprise, the thought of quitting never occurred to me. I wanted to see this through. After about another minute of this, I felt Jake tense up and let out a deep breath as he began to silently cum.

I watched in fascination as ropes of cum shot out of his dick and onto my arm and hand. But instead of being grossed out, I felt an odd sense of pride. I removed my finger from his ass and lifted my other hand to my face, inspecting the rapidly cooling liquid on my hand. Then without even thinking, I stuck my tongue out and tasted some.

"Huh. Yours tastes like glue and peanuts if I had to describe it."

"Jesse. You just ate my cum," Jake deadpanned.

I looked at Jake for a second as the realization of what I just did settled in. But instead of freaking out or something, I just felt... normal?

"Yeah... yeah I did," I said before smiling at him.

Jake actually smiled back at me (very emotional day for him apparently), "See? Not so bad, is it?"

I chuckled and responded, "I guess not. I'm still not ready to say if I'm gay or not, but I guess it's safe to say I'm definitely not straight."

"You will make that determination on your own time. But this was an important step."

"So, I get to be called `Jesse' now? To what do I owe the honor?" I asked.

"I feel like after what we've confided in each other, and the mutual masturbation certainly helped, you are someone of significance in my life. And referring to you by your first name is my way of showing that."

"Well, I'm honored you feel that way dude," I said, giving Jake a warm smile.

Jake gave me a small smile of his own before asking, "By the way, what is Caleb's last name? It bothers me to have to call him by such a personal name."

I let out a small laugh at that before informing him it was "Hollingsworth."

"Good to know. Thank you, Jesse. Well I'm glad you agreed to come over. This has been... nice," Jake told me.

"You know, I am too. This has been good for me dude. Thank you."

"Is this the part where I say, `that's what friends are for'?" Jake joked (asked? I don't know, it's hard to tell with him sometimes).

"It works," I said with a smile. "Hey, so um, nobody heard us, right?" I asked. Suddenly remembering we were not, in fact, alone in the house.

"I doubt it," Jake replied, easing my concerns. "Both my parents are still at work and Zoe is probably stoned out of her mind right now trying to remember how to order a pizza."

I laughed at the that even though I'm pretty sure he was being serious (maybe). The thought of his sister on the couch all dazed and confused trying to figure out how to work an app to order a pizza was pretty amusing.

"So what do your parents do anyway?" I asked as I put my dick away and began buttoning up my jeans while Jake did the same.

"My mother works retail at JCPenney and my father is a plumber. Nothing too fancy, but it gets the bills paid. What does Jordan do?"

"He's a self-taught mechanic. And apparently a really good one. His boss has given him several pay raises and even promoted him to assistant manager to keep from losing him to other shops."

"Interesting. I would not mind picking his brain sometime. I enjoy learning about how things work," Jake said in another instance where I wasn't really sure if he was speaking out loud or to me.

"Well, you're welcome to come over to my place sometime and hang. And while you're there, I'm sure he'd be more than happy to answer any questions you have," I opted to tell him as he got up and went to get a new shirt to wear. Just in case he was talking to me.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah that would be great."

Ok, guess he was just talking out loud...

Jake slipped his new shirt on and came back over to the bed. He sat back down, legs crossed again, and just sat there looking at me. This went on for an awkward moment before I finally asked, "Everything ok there dude?"

"Yes, it is fine. Everything ok with you?" he asked back.

"Um, considering I just had my first sexual experience, yeah I guess it’s going well," I said as I nervously chuckled and rubbed the back of my neck.

"If you need some time to process what happened, I will understand."

I immediately looked back up at Jake.

"No dude, I'm fine, seriously. I'm ok with what happened. I enjoyed it actually. Like I said, I'm pretty sure I'm at least partly into guys. We're good."

God that was the least assuring ramble I think there's ever been...

"Ok good. I enjoy your company. And do not worry. This won’t impact my thoughts towards you. I like you, but not like that. You are too terrible at chess," Jake told me with a sly smile.

"You ass!" I laughed back at him and playfully tossed a pillow. "But thank you for telling me that, obviously if I'm gonna `be gay' I kinda want it to be with, yeah... you know..." I trailed off. But does he want the same thing?

"Jesse, one does not simply `be gay'..."

"Dammit Jake I know! You don't need to get all technical on me!" I said playfully.

"I cannot tell with you sometimes," Jake said flatly (or maybe he's joking? argh!).

"Welcome to my world dude," I shot back, sticking my tongue out in the same way that makes Jordan's eyes roll.

"Duly noted," Jake replied, stoic as usual.

I spent another hour or so hanging with Jake before I decided to head home. I had enjoyed my time there and I'm glad I had become friends with Jake, but I determined I was only going to be able to handle him in limited doses. His bluntness... wears on you.

I got home just as Jordan was firing up the grill and was preparing to throw on some absolutely delicious looking ribeyes. I immediately washed up and began helping Jordan prepare these amazing "garlic rosemary parmesan hasselback potatoes" he makes as a side, telling him about my day as I did (obviously leaving out some of the more private details).

"I'm proud of you bud," Jordan praised me as he came back in carrying our steaks (and holy fuck did they smell out of this world!). "Not a lot of people would take the time to befriend someone with Asperger's, much less hang out with them outside of school. That speaks a lot to your character."

"I mean, Jake's a really good guy. Incredibly blunt, but a good guy. I don't see why you're making such a big deal out of it," I said, blushing at the praise.

"Little things like that are what make the world a better place. Lots of people do big things, and don't get me wrong, the big things are great, but you can do big things for the wrong reasons. People who stop to do the little things in life? They are the people who you know are good at heart," Jordan imparted to me, loading up both our plates with food.

Will he still think that if he ever finds out I like guys? Or will he think I'm some kinda pervert? I know Jake thinks he probably doesn't care but can I risk it? Would he feel different if it's his own brother instead of someone else?

"Earth to Jesse!"

I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at Jordan.

"Huh, yeah?"

"You must have had a deep thought there bud. You didn't even notice me set your food down!" he chuckled.

I immediately looked down at the five-star meal sitting in front of me and my previous thoughts and worries vanished as I grabbed my knife and fork and began to tear into the tender hunk of meat before me, carving out and taking a huge bite.

"Oh my gawd!" I exclaimed with a mouthful of steak. "This is fucking amazing!" I hurried up and swallowed so I could take another bite.

"Glad you like it. I decided to try my own rub idea instead of using store-bought." He paused to take a bite himself, chewing on it with a thoughtful look. "Yep. I won’t even be modest. I nailed it!"

"You’re damn right you did! What did you do to these? Practically orgasmic bro!"

"Oh no I'm not telling you! Your big mouth will tell the whole damn world my secret recipe! Plus, if you know how to make my food, I won't have anything to keep you around!" Jordan replied playfully.

"This is true. Your cooking is the only reason I keep you around. I mean, there might be a few other reasons, but the food? Numero uno!" I joked back as I decided to dig into the potato.

Oh dear god that's good too...

"So how's work been lately?" I asked after several more mouthfuls of food.

"Work has been good. Always something that needs to be fixed. Though I swear to god car manufacturers have their collective heads up their asses with the things they do to their vehicles nowadays," Jordan said with an annoyed look.

"Spivey still as perverted as ever?" I asked with a smile, knowing I'm about to be treated to the latest crazy-ass thing Jordan's boss has said and/or done.

Jordan made an "Oh boy" face then proceeded to fill me in.

"On my lunch break today I had just finished eating and was standing next to him at the front of bay two, we weren't even talking to each other, and he just out of the fucking blue goes in the most casual way you can imagine, `My pussy hurts.' And walks off. Just like that!"

I stared at Jordan in silence for a moment before I cracked and began laughing so hard I damn near fell out of my chair.

"MY PUSSY HURTS!? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?" I asked between fits of teary-eyed laughter.

Jordan began laughing too and replied, "Bro I have no goddamn idea, but it definitely took me a minute to try and process that!"

After a few minutes I was finally able to get my laughter under control and wiped away the tears that had formed. I took another moment to catch my breath and took a drink of water.

"Oh my god," I began as I set my glass down. "That's just amazing. There is sooooooo something wrong with that man but I absolutely love it!"

"You're not wrong. He definitely keeps you on your toes," Jordan chuckled some more and took a drink of his beer. "Anyway, changing gears. Your birthday is Wednesday in case you've forgotten."

Holy shit he's right! I've been so preoccupied with the shitstorm that's my life right now my birthday had completely snuck up on me!

"Yeah it is! Man, it came up fast this year!"

"Well I arranged to have the day off. I was thinking you could take off school and we could go to Six Flags," Jordan smiled at me as he dropped that little surprise nugget.

"HOLY SHIT ARE YOU SERIOUS!?" I screeched in excitement. Best. Brother. Ever!

"As a heart attack bud."

I leapt out of my chair and ran around the table and damn near launched myself into Jordan, almost causing both of us to tumble onto the floor, as I gave him a huge hug.

"Thank you thank you thank you thank you!"

Jordan laughed and hugged my back tightly.

"Of course bud. You deserve it."

"I love you Jordan."

"I love you too Jesse. Always will."

And, at least for that moment, my fears about how he'd feel about me liking guys went away. I had the best brother in the world. And on Wednesday, my 15th birthday, he's taking me to motherfucking Six Flags!

---

See? Sex stuff happens in this story! Just not with who y’all probably wanted it to. But if you'll excuse me, I have a birthday to write up!

Please email me anytime at JesseJamesNiftyEmail@Gmail.com and I'd be more than thrilled to respond to any and all comments, questions and yes, constructive criticism!

 — Jesse