Learning to Fly

I got off the bus Tuesday in a crappy mood (and you thought I was gonna skip ahead to my birthday didn't you?). Despite accepting the fact I care about Caleb as more than a friend, I still was keeping my distance. You already know the primary reason, plus now I had to figure out how I was gonna handle my feelings towards him while around him. I mean, I'm a teenager, these are United fucking Nations level issues in my mind! Don't @ me...

Oh, and speaking of Willie, he decided to pick today to remind he's still out there like I'd somehow forget after what he's already done.

It was nothing physical thank god but apparently he made it a point to cross paths with me in the hallways in between periods, lackeys in tow, and plant fear seeds like Jake had warned me he would.

"Hey there white boy!" he said with a cheerful voice that masked the sadist underneath. "It's been a hot minute since we've hung out. I'm starting to miss my good friend Jesse!"

He said the last part as he continued past me, looking back just enough to show an evil smirk while his friends chuckled. I just kept my head down and hurried to my next class as flashbacks to the previous run-ins ran through my mind, my breathing becoming more rapid; a cold sweat began to form on my brow as fear ran through my body.

I made it to my chemistry class and quickly sat down, silently waiting for the class to start so I could hope for a distraction.

"Jesse are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost."

I looked up and towards the sound of the voice. It was Coach Eubanks, asking from behind his desk as a few of the other students in the room turned to look at me.

I'm sure whatever pale complexion I was sporting at the moment vanished as I felt my face flush from the attention.

"Yeah... I'm fine Coach. Just haven't been feeling the greatest today I guess."

"Do you need to go see the nurse?" he asked as he began to reach for a pass.

My eyes widened a little. "No, no. I'm good. I've uh... been feeling better as the day has gone on." Go out by myself into shark infested waters!? Oh, hell no!

Coach Eubanks looked at me as if he was debating whether or not to just make me go, but fortunately he just set the hall pass down and resumed whatever it was he was doing on his computer before class started.

The whole rest of the day I spent looking over my shoulder, wondering if Willie was going to do something. I completely refused to leave any of my classes for any reason other than the mandatory changing of the classes (granted, it wasn't like I was being told to for any other reason). Fortunately my bladder and colon didn't betray me at all and the only time I had to piss was right before gym so I was able to use the locker room bathroom while everyone was still in there changing into their gym clothes, offering me protection against any incursion by Willie.

I had to walk past the showers to reach the bathroom, the first time I had done so since my last physical encounter with Willie. I immediately felt a coldness overcome me and I shuddered, the memory of me lying on the tile floor in pain, the cold water of the shower falling onto me, rushing back.

I don't think I'll ever be able to go back in there...

I managed to make it through Coach Lester's ideas of "fun" without much trouble. We mostly did exercises and shit with a partner that Coach assigned for us. I was partnered up with a heavy-set Mexican kid named Edwin. This worked out very well because I know for a fact that Caleb had been dying to talk to me all day, I had seen it on his face the few times I glanced at him in our earlier classes and he obviously knows my birthday is tomorrow. And he would have used this as a perfect excuse to say something to me.

So I spent gym pathetically performing several sets of various exercises such as crunches, pushups and the like, being told how pathetically I was performing them, and then watching as Edwin performed them better and being told that Edwin was performing them better. I don't know what I did to deserve Coach Lester's contempt, because it's not like I was the only sorry-ass excuse for an athlete in here, but that asshat really did not like me.

When Coach Lester finally blew his whistle and announced it was time to change and get ready for the buses, I hurried to the locker room to change as quickly as humanly possible. I just really wanted to get in and out before Caleb tried to say something to me.

I felt it was probably just going to be something simple, like happy birthday, but after all this time of pushing him away (a couple weeks is a long time for us ok?), I was afraid if he did I might get super emotional and cause a very embarrassing and hard to explain scene in the middle of the locker room.

I finished changing to my school clothes and hitting myself up with some body spray so I would be decent enough to sit next to on the bus if it was a full house today for whatever reason, and hurriedly made my way out of the locker room and to the buses just as the final bell for school went off.

I headed outside and quickly located bus 69 (Yes, I really rode bus 69; you have no idea how happy this made me) and got on, taking my usual seat about halfway down the bus on the right by the window. I leaned up against it, relieved I had made through the day without Willie attacking me. As I waited for the bus to fill up, I began to casually people watch. It was oddly fascinating watching the other students scurry about, going to whatever bus would take them to their destination. Others were meeting up with friends, chatting away about any number of things. One particular group of girls all seemed very excited about something.

Wonder what's got them all pumped up. I pondered idly.

Finally, after about 10 minutes or so, the driver shut the doors to the bus and began the drive home.

When I got home, I was surprised to see Jordan was already home as well. He didn't usually get off early unless it was Saturday, and since he had told me at dinner Saturday night that work had been busy lately, I didn't suspect it was because he had nothing to do.

Man I really hope this has something to do with my birthday tomorrow. I sighed to myself as I walked up to my house. I honestly couldn't think of anything I did to get in trouble, and I really didn't need anything or anyone else to shit on me today, so I figured/hoped that had to be it.

"Jordan I'm home!" I shouted out as I entered and shut the door, drooping my backpack and kicking off my shoes.

"Hey bud!" I heard him call out from his bedroom. "I'll be right out!"

Well he seems to be in a good mood. Looks like I didn't fuck up somehow.

I headed into the kitchen and grabbed an RC Cola (Jordan's favorite soda) from the fridge and began sipping on it as I watched Jordan walk out of his bedroom and into the living room.

"You're home early. Get fired?" I joked, looking to improve my aforementioned crappy mood.

"Yep! Totally fired. I cross wired the flux capacitor on a customer's DeLorean. Made a big `poof' and the car, customer and half the shop ended up somewhere back in the Cretaceous Period. And since insurance doesn't cover people and things lost to time travel, they were forced to let me go." Jordan had a huge smile on his face as he said that, but he still said it so seriously you could almost believe he wasn't kidding around.

I laughed and replied, "Sounds like you had an eventful day. Meanwhile, I've been informed I'm pathetic at exercise."

"Is this what my tax dollars are being spent on? I could have told you that!" Jordan playfully rubbed my hair as he walked past me to grab an RC himself.

"Hey now!" I exclaimed with a laugh. "You're supposed to lie and tell me I'm amazing at everything!"

Jordan took a drink of his soda and scoffed, "You know damn well I don't subscribe to that hippie-liberal bullshit parenting!"

"You know, you're not exactly Mr. Tough-love. I've gotten you to give into me numerous times!" I playfully stuck my tongue out at him, causing Jordan to give me his patented eye roll.

"Only because you're such an awesome little brother and you deserve it. But circling back, I got off early today because I figured since we are going to Six Flags tomorrow it would make more sense to have your birthday dinner and cake as well as do your presents tonight since we will probably be exhausted after spending a whole day riding roller coasters," Jordan explained.

"Presents a day early? Oh, I am so onboard with this idea!" I said excitedly. Today has taken a wonderful turn for the better!

"I thought you'd feel that way," Jordan said with a knowing smile. "Now go shower! You smell like sweat and Fiji body spray!"

This caused me to giggle and playfully lift up my arm and take a whiff. "Ah! The wonderful smell of failed attempts at exercise!"

"Get!" Jordan playfully commanded as he pointed up the staircase.

I laughed some more as I hurried up the stairs, hanging a left in the game room into my bathroom. I turned on the hot water and stripped while I waited for it to reach temperature. Once I determined it had, I hopped in and let out a relaxed sigh as the warm water cascaded over me.

"Ahhhhhhhh... that's it."

I reached up onto my shower caddy, grabbed my shampoo and began to wash my hair (and in case you're wondering, yes, my shampoo and bodywash are Old Spice Fiji too. What? I like a uniform scent dammit!). Once I felt satisfied my hair was clean, I gave it a good rinse and reached for my body wash and bath sponge... Was that the doorbell? Probably just something being delivered. Like more presents!

Anyway, I began lathering up my body, making sure to pay extra attention to certain areas because... well you know why.

After enjoying my thorough "washing", I rinsed off my body, shut off the water and hopped out, grabbing my super soft cotton towel and dried myself off. I decided since I wasn't going anywhere tonight, I'd just throw on a t shirt and some pajama pants instead of putting the clothes I wore to school back on. So, after applying some fresh deodorant I wrapped my towel around my waist, gathered up my clothes, and headed to my room.

I opened my door and walked in, dropping my clothes in my hamper and prepared to remove my towel.

"Hey Jesse."

So I'd love to say I whipped around and performed some badass kung fu move on who said that. But we all know I didn't. Instead I shrieked like a girl because I was startled as fuck. I actually almost dropped my towel. It was definitely not my finest moment...

Once I had confirmed I was not gonna have a heart attack, I turned to my doorway and saw Caleb standing there with this look that said he wanted to be serious but was trying with every ounce of self-control he had to not bust out laughing. Spoiler alert, he laughed.

"CALEB!" I yelled. "WHAT IN THE EVER-LOVING FUCK DUDE!?"

"I'm sorry!" he said as he continued laughing. "I didn't actually mean to scare you! But I guess I probably coulda knocked or something."

"You’re damn right you could have! Christ! My heart is still racing!" I scolded as I placed my hand on my chest and felt the rapid beats. "What are you doing here anyway?" To that question Caleb's face got serious.

"Well, your brother called me a couple of days ago and told me what he was doing for your birthday and that I should come over today after school..."

"JORDAN..." I began to call out, cutting Caleb off.

"YOU TWO WILL KISS AND MAKE UP OR SO HELP ME GOD SIX FLAGS IS OFF!" Jordan cut me off as he shouted back up at me.

Ok. Gauntlet thrown down apparently...

"Well the `Fuhrer' has spoken," I said focusing back on Caleb.

"Just an FYI, we only have to do the make-up part. Unless you wanna kiss," Caleb said jokingly. But God if only...

"Caleb..." I began before he held his hand up to get me to stop.

"Please let me go first Jesse," he asked softly.

"I was actually gonna ask if I could get dressed first..." I said with an awkward chuckle.

Caleb's eyes widened as he remembered I was still just in a towel.

"Oh shit! Yeah! Go ahead!" Was that encouragement? No, don't do that to yourself Jesse.

"Ummm... did you plan on watching?" I asked (hoped). Jesse what did I just --

Stfu me! I'm gonna dream!

Caleb, on his part, had an oddly delayed response. Like he wanted to say... Ok, logical me is back in charge. He's not. Probably.

"Uh... right. I guess just holler when you're no longer nakey?"

I had to giggle at his childish wording. "Yeah. As soon as I'm no longer `nakey'."

Caleb giggled too as he stepped out and shut the door behind him. I quickly went over to my dresser and pulled out a t-shirt and my pajama bottoms and put them on (and yes, I went commando) before calling Caleb back in.

"Ok dude. You can say what you need to now," I told him as he reentered the room.

Caleb took a deep breath and looked me in the eye, taking a moment to formulate his thoughts and words.

"Jesse look, I'm so sorry ok?" he began. "I know that something is going on, you can't convince me otherwise, but you asked me to leave it and I promised I would, but I didn't. And I threatened to go to your brother when I told you I wouldn't... You have a right to be pissed at me for that. But for the last two weeks you've completely pushed me away!" Tears were now beginning to form in his eyes. "That was fucking uncalled for dude! Best friends don't do that to each other!" He paused briefly to wipe away some of the tears as they began to travel down his face. "It hurt like fuck Jesse and I've missed you like crazy! And I have a right to be mad at you over that!"

"Caleb I..."

"I'm not done yet," he interrupted. "But I don't want to be mad at you. All I want is my best friend in the whole damn world back. So can we... can we just please do that Jesse?" he pleaded through his tears.

My heart broke right then. Sometimes, you do things you hate to protect someone you... oh fuck it, someone you love. And for two fucking weeks I had tried to remain strong and push him away to keep him safe without being able to tell him why. But I couldn’t…​ I couldn't do it anymore. Not with him there, standing in front of me in tears, begging me to be his friend again...

Next thing either of us knew I had my arms wrapped around Caleb, giving him the biggest hug I've probably ever given him, my tears now joining his as my guilt over how I've treated him overwhelmed me.

"Caleb, I'm the one who's sorry. All you did was try to be the best friend anyone could ever ask for. And I treated you like shit for it. You didn't deserve that at all. But I need you to trust me when I say that there was a reason. It's probably a shitty one, but I have one. But, I can't tell you what it is or why ok? I promise I will eventually, but I just can't right now," I apologized off my ass, my tears probably soaking the collar of his Polo.

I felt his arms wrap around me as he embraced me tightly, even nuzzling me slightly.

"I don't like it. But I'll trust you. For now, at least. But if I find you covered with bruises again, I'm not staying silent Jesse. I can't see you like that again. I won't see you like that again," he told me firmly, I could feel the tears still rolling down his cheeks.

"Ok," I replied.

"Ok. Good. Now promise me something."

"Whatever you want man," I told him.

"I promise Caleb. Never again. Best friends for fucking life?" I asked with a smile at the end.

"Best friends for fucking life," Caleb replied with a smile I could hear in his voice.

We pulled apart just enough to be able to look into each other's eyes and smile. And in that moment, the world felt a little better. Me and Caleb were alright.

The moment continued to linger on. And as it did, I could feel my lips being drawn inexorably towards his, the whole world seemingly slowing down around us as it seemed like his lips might be doing the same.

I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna kiss him. Nothings gonna ruin this...

"OK IT'S BEEN QUIET UP THERE FOR A MINUTE NOW YOU TWO GOOD?"

Worst. Fucking. Brother. Ever.

The moment, whether real or imagined, vanished instantly as me and Caleb broke apart. And I was left to wonder if I had maybe missed my chance.

"YEAH JORDAN. WE'RE GOOD!" I shouted back down to him with a hint of frustration as I looked at Caleb and we both laughed nervously.

"Soooooo... I guess Six Flags is still on tomorrow..." Caleb said, trying to end the awkwardness.

"Wait, are you going with us?" I asked him.

"Yep! When Jordan called me the other day, he invited me to go with you guys. Talked to my mom and got her ok to take the day off school and everything!" Caleb explained excitedly.

"Fuck yeah dude! Oh my God, tomorrow just got even better!" I gave Caleb a huge grin as I did a fist pump.

"I know, I'm so excited! Texas Giant here we come!" Caleb said, matching my grin.

Suddenly an idea popped into my head. "Dude, you so need to spend the night!"

"Actually, I kinda already brought my stuff over to do that. I guess I refused to believe tonight would end in anyway other than us being friends again," Caleb revealed as he smiled shyly and rubbed the back of his neck.

Dammit if that didn't make my heart flutter...

"It couldn't have dude," I replied with a shy smile of my own. "Well, how about we go downstairs and harass Jordan some?"

"Ladies first!" Caleb said with his dorky ass grin as he mockingly held open my bedroom door like he was some kind of gentleman.

"Damn right!" I shot back, sticking my tongue out as I walked right past him.

Caleb giggled at me as he followed me down the stairs and into the kitchen where Jordan was busy waltzing around, clearly in his element as he gathered ingredients to make my birthday dinner.

"Whatcha making me?" I asked.

"Chicken parm you taste so good!" Jordan sang out the catchy jingle from the old Peyton Manning Nationwide commercials.

Ok, he's back to being the best brother ever now (I'm easy, ok?). Chicken parmesan is my absolute favorite meal ever. And Jordan, being the amazing chef that he is, makes it from scratch. And the homemade red wine sauce he covers it and the noodle with? God almighty...

"And should I assume there's an ice cream cake in the freezer?" I asked hopefully.

"Do Catholic priests like little boys?" Jordan jokingly asked back.

"Ummmm... I'd really hope not," Caleb interjected.

"Hmm, fair point. But yes, of course there's an ice cream cake in the freezer. What do you think this is, amateur hour?"

"Awesomesauce. Now more importantly, where are my presents!?" I teasingly demanded to know.

Jordan laughed and shook his head. "Always focused on what matters I see! Hold on let me go get it."

With that Jordan left the kitchen and walked to his bedroom, opening the door and disappearing inside, closing it behind him. After a couple of moments, he shouted out,

"Ok I'm coming back out. Eyes closed! Caleb that means you too!"

"Oooohhhh! A surprise!" Caleb grinned as he wiggled his eyebrows.

"Jordan will never get tired of surprising me with gifts. It's like I'm still seven! But hey, he fucking loves it," I laughed, partly at that and partly at Caleb for the eyebrow wiggle.

We both shut our eyes and waited. I could hear Jordan open his door and come walking back out and into the kitchen. I sat there, patiently waiting for Jordan to tell me to open my eyes when suddenly I feel something warm and wet lick my face.

My eyes shot open in surprise and staring me in the face was the cutest fucking yellow lab puppy I've ever seen.

"OH MY GOD A PUPPY!" I yelled out excitedly.

"What the what!?" I heard Caleb exclaim next to me, but I was too focused on the little fur baby in front of me to pay him much attention.

"Happy early birthday bud," Jordan smiled warmly.

I immediately took the puppy out of Jordan's hands as it excitedly began to bark at me and lick me all over, causing me to laugh.

"Holy shit dude that dog is so cute I'm seriously considering jacking it!" Caleb said jokingly (I think).

"You try that and you die!" I warned him, not taking my eyes off the puppy. I then began talking to my puppy in a baby voice,

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy! I'm gonna spoil you so rotten. You're gonna be my best friend now!"

"What the hell dude!? I'm standing right here!?" Caleb said like he's hurt, but I could see out of the corner of my eye he was totally smiling.

"Eh, get over it," I playfully told him.

"So what are you gonna name him?" Jordan asked as he resumed preparing dinner.

"Hmmmm..." I pause a moment to think about it. "Phillip H. Bontemps…​ Junior," I declared.

Jordan stopped what he's doing and looks at me incredulously before asking, "Phillip H. Bontemps Jr? Why?"

"Because he looks like a Phillip H. Bontemps and he's a puppers," I say simply as I cradle my baby. Ok so I admit, maybe Jordan treating me like a seven-year-old thing might not be totally off base...

"Does the H even stand for anything?" Jordan asked.

I thought for a second and replied, "Herbert."

Jordan just smirked and shook his head and teasingly said, "Aright, you keep the pup, I’ll eat the parm. At least the chicken is thankful I did something for it."

The rest of the evening went awesome. Me and Caleb went into the backyard and played with Phillip until dinner was ready and we all sat down to enjoy the delicious meal Jordan cooked up followed by the tradition of singing happy birthday and some ice cream cake, my pup adorably whining from the sudden lack of attention while we did.

I opened a few more smaller gifts from Jordan as well as from Caleb and his family and afterwards we hurried upstairs to play video games until bedtime (Jordan said we could stay up till midnight tonight instead of my normal 10:30 bedtime since we weren't going to school tomorrow) with little Phillip, already attached to me at the hip, in tow. Just saying, it was freaking adorable watching him work his tiny puppy legs and body up the stairs.

We fired up Call of Duty and got online, not surprised in the least to see Grant was already online. After sending him an invite to join a match with us and him saying he's happy me and Caleb are hanging again, we spent the rest of our night before bed trash talking and dominating people online.

When the time finally came, we said our goodnights to Grant (who apparently doesn't have a bedtime or a need to sleep…​I seriously almost never hear of him sleeping. If he hadn't spent the night, I would probably be convinced he never does) and went to the bathroom to brush our teeth and take turns going to the bathroom before bed.

I placed a super sleepy Phillip (ugh! Is there anything about him that's not totes adorbs!?) on a spare pillow in front of my bed and I hopped onto my usual side of the bed, having discarded my shirt but still wearing my pajama pants because, well, no boxers. Caleb though stripped down to his briefs as usual and turned off the lights before he hopped onto the other side of my bed and snuggled up under the covers.

"So 15 tomorrow," he said looking up at the ceiling.

"Yep! Just..." I paused to look at my alarm clock, "three minutes away!"

"Do you almost feel any wiser and more mature?" Caleb asked with a giggle.

I looked over at him in the darkness, "My dear Mr. Hollingsworth, as you will one day hopefully find out, as one ages, wisdom and maturity begin to flow from them and onto the world," I said in my mock Patrick Stewart as Professor X voice.

Caleb busted out laughing. "Clearly that's a negative!" playfully shoving my shoulder at the end.

I laughed as well. "Yeah I think we both are cursed to be a tad bit immature for the rest of our lives."

I saw Caleb nod in agreement before leaning up to look over at my alarm clock.

"Aaaaannnnnndddddddd... Midnight! Happy birthday Jesse!"

Ah look, they are friends again haha. Next week, we go to Six Flags!

Please email me anytime at JesseJamesNiftyEmail@Gmail.com and I'd be more than thrilled to respond to any and all comments, questions and yes, constructive criticism!

 — Jesse