I hit a writing block, and got distracted by other things.
Here's the latest. Hope it doesn't take me as long to bring out the next
chapter, especially with the ending... <evil grin>
Hearing that you're enjoying the story REALLY makes my day,
so drop me a line. Hearing that you're not enjoying it helps me improve it, so
drop me a line. Even if you just say `Hey, I'm reading it.', you really
encourage me to keep going, so drop email me!
Keep donating to Nifty!
If you like this, you may like my other story:
Nifty Archive: adult-youth/new-reality
Text copyright ©Justin Forfun 2020-2023 All
rights reserved.
This work is fully protected under the United States
Copyright Laws © 17 USC§§ 101, 102(a), 302(a). All rights
reserved. Placing or posting any or all of this story on
any website, or distribution of any of these works in any way (in part or in
whole) without the explicit consent of the author is strictly
prohibited. Any and all copyright infringements will be
prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. With some obvious
exceptions, any names, characters, or incidents are the product of the
author's imagination and all are used fictitiously. Any resemblance
to actual persons living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental,
and no harm or slanderous intent is implied or intended.
DONATE to Nifty! so you can continue to
enjoy my story and the thousands of others!!!!
**************************************************
Connor
"I'm going to have the hired hands finish bringing in
the hay tomorrow. I think it's time all the pups around here get a solid
knowledge of the history and legends of shifters. I've asked Drake to spend the
day in my library with all of you. He can give you some insights you won't find
in the manuscripts." Shamus looked at Connor and Ronin and added, "I called
Otto Bjornberg. He said you boys are welcome to drop by Wednesday morning. He
hinted that you could have lunch with them if you timed it right."
Connor nodded, then
asked, "And when will you and I talk to the other wolf families?"
Shamus explained,
"After dinner last night, Drake suggested that he call those families and let
them know I would be contacting them. He feels that a sudden call from me might
cause them undue stress, and I agree. We'll meet with them when they say they
are ready and not a day before."
Connor nodded his
agreement as he tried to stifle a huge yawn. He had never imagined that driving
a tractor all day could be so tiring, but he realized that he was physically
and mentally exhausted. He picked up Danny and carried the sleepy boy up to the
shower. He washed Danny first, then sent him to bed after watching the boy dry
most of his body. Once Connor was alone, he stood and let the hot water relax
his tired muscles.
Looking down at his
body, he realized how much had changed since he left home. He couldn't believe
that it was just two weeks ago that he had found his first hairs, and now he
had a full bush around his much larger appendage, hair in the center of his
chest, and thick patches under his arms. He also noticed how his chest and abs
were more defined. If nothing else, working on a ranch was going to make him
sexy.
Enjoying the time
alone, he soaped up his hand and started to stroke slowly. His eyes were
closed, and he was really getting into pleasuring himself. With one hand
occupied in well-practiced motions, he was soon using the other to explore
regions of his body he had never explored. With these new sensations, it didn't
take him long to reach his goal. He felt five strong spurts shoot out before
his knees went weak, and he almost fell over.
Connor almost
jumped through the wall when Ronin said, "Damn, dude. Do you always shoot like
that? Mine's still all watery."
Connor tried to
hide his wilting erection as he looked at the wall where he saw Ronin wiping
his finger, gathering what Connor had just shot. He watched as his cousin
rubbed his fingers together, then brought them to his nose and sniffed. Connor
giggled just a bit, then said, "If ya want the whole experience, ya gotta taste
it."
Ronin shivered a
bit as he rinsed his hand off and said, "Thanks, cuz, but I'll leave that to
the girls. But hey, I wasn't trying to spy on you or anything. I just came in
to shower, and you were so into it, I didn't feel right interrupting."
Suddenly, Ronin got a bit shy, then quietly asked, "Does fingering your butt
really feel that good?"
Connor shrugged as
he stepped out of the shower, "That's the first time I've done it, but yeah, it
was amazing. You should try it." He then got an evil grin as he sat on the
closed toilet lid and said, "So now I get to sit here and watch you jerk off?"
Ronin just smirked
as he replied, "Whatever floats your boat, cuz. I know I like girls, but me and
the twins have stroked each other off before. You won't bother me by perving on
my hot bod while I take care of business."
Ronin proceeded to
soap up his own hard member and start enjoying himself. Connor smirked and
shook his head. He then reached in, turned the water to cold, and ran from the
bathroom, giggling like a little kid while Ronin screamed about getting
revenge. Once he was in the bedroom and sure that Ronin wasn't chasing him, Connor
finished drying off. He turned to say something to Danny, only to see the boy
was sound asleep.
Connor was tired,
but his mind kept going back to last night's dinner. He had misjudged Shamus,
and worse, he had embarrassed his great-grandfather in front of the whole
family. Part of him knew that things were fine between them, but in the back of
his mind, he couldn't help but think that Shamus hated him for that. Of course,
his alcoholic mind took this to the `all or nothing' extreme of expecting
Shamus to pack the boy up and ship him back to Colorado. As his mind was
spiraling down this path of self-pity, he heard the shower stop. Ronin would be
coming out soon, and Connor didn't want to have to explain the tears that had
formed, so he stepped into the hall and looked for somewhere private where he
could sulk.
Of the five
bedrooms upstairs, Connor had only seen his and the one the twins were in. He
knew that Katty and Emmet were in the other two, so he went to explore the one
empty room. Inside was a metal framed double bed, a nightstand, a dresser with
a mirror, and a wardrobe. Curiosity got the best of him, and after finding the
drawers of the dresser empty, he turned to the wardrobe. Inside, he found
several suits. Most were in styles that had gone out of fashion decades ago,
covered in dry cleaner's clear plastic. There were also several dresses that
were also decades out of style.
Turning to the
nightstand, Connor found a woman's diary. He resisted the urge to open it,
knowing that what he found would likely be the most intimate thoughts of
Shamus' wife. Behind the diary, he found a half-empty bottle. He had never
heard of the brand, but the color of the liquid told him he had found an old
bottle of whiskey. His theory was confirmed when he opened it and sniffed the
contents.
Immediately his
alcoholic mind said, `YES!! Just a drink or two to take the edge off.'
He took another
sniff, then set the bottle on the nightstand and stared at it. He knew that one
drink would lead to another, then another. No one would know. He needed
something to get rid of the stress, right? He picked up the bottle, then set it
back down. He stood, went to the door, and opened it a crack, listening for any
signs of Ronin or his other cousins. Hearing nothing, he closed the door and
returned to the bedside.
Connor continued
his internal debate as he stared at the bottle. He could do this. Just a drink.
He didn't have to get drunk or even buzzed. Just a drink to help him relax, he
could handle that. As he picked up the bottle, he thought about how Shamus had
looked so proud when Connor was learning to ride horses. How the family at the
ranch had welcomed him with open arms and done everything to make him feel like
he belonged. How Ronin had spent the day teaching him, taking extra time, and
never belittling him for not knowing how to do something.
He took one more
sniff, then put the cap on the bottle and walked from the room. He found Shamus
in his office, working on paperwork. When Shamus saw the bottle in Connor's
hand, he looked concerned but not angry.
Connor set the
bottle on the desk and said, "I got nosey and went exploring. I need to
apologize for that, and I'll take whatever punishment I've earned, but I needed
to come down and show you what I found."
Shamus nodded as he
picked up the bottle and asked, "I'm guessing there's more you need to say?"
Connor studied the
floor in front of the desk for a moment before saying, "I wanted to drink it. I
wanted to just, I guess I just wanted not to feel everything for a while. Then
I realized that I didn't want to drink it. What I wanted was to escape my
feelings. I need to deal with my feelings, not run away from them." His eyes
were filled with tears as he looked up and said, "I need a meeting."
Shamus stood and
came around the desk, wrapping his arms around Connor as the boy's tears fell.
They stood there for a few moments as Connor's slow tears turned into sobs.
Shamus couldn't completely understand the things the boy was saying, but he
heard words like disappointment and guilt and stress and fear. Words he could
personally relate to. When the sobs slowed, he gently lifted Connor's chin so
he could look into his eyes.
"I'm proud of you.
You did the right thing, but I need you to understand that if you had taken a
drink, it wouldn't change how I feel about you." Wiping the tears from the
boy's face, he continued, "Do you want to talk with me or give Jack a call?
We'll find a meeting tomorrow sometime. I should have made that more of a
priority."
Connor took a
shuddering breath and said, "I think I'll call Jack. And it's not your fault
about the meetings. I should've asked."
Shamus smiled as he
replied, "How about we agree that we both should have brought it up, and
neither of us will feel guilty?"
Connor gave a
half-hearted grin as he nodded and pulled out his phone. As he dialed, he
walked out the front door to sit on the porch and talk with his sponsor. As he
opened up to Jack about his close call, the tears again began to flow. Jack sat
silently, letting his young charge share his insecurities. While Jack couldn't
entirely relate to Connor's current position, he could certainly relate to the
associated emotions. Having celebrated his own three-year anniversary, Jack had
an intimate understanding of how the disease of alcoholism twisted your deepest
self-doubts into an overwhelming sense of worthlessness. He knew how, at times,
the slightest insult quickly seemed to be a blanket condemnation and how the
most genuine offers of help and friendship became twisted and distorted into insincere
words that were simply intended to mollify and placate you while the speaker
actually despised you.
An hour later,
Connor walked back into Shamus' office. Shamus was glad to see there were only
dried tears. He knew better than to expect a smile, but he could accept a lack
of sadness for now. It was a victory. Anticipating a long, self-pitying
apology, Shamus spoke before Connor could start.
"After breakfast,
I'm taking you to town. There's a 6 a.m. meeting that I think you might like.
It's not a young person's meeting exactly, but during the school year, it has
several high school kids that attend." Seeing Connor's gaze go to the floor,
Shamus added, "That is, if you still want to go to a meeting. I'll never force
you to go."
Conner quickly
looked up and said, "Oh, no Sir, that's not it. I'm just worried that other
kids from school will see me there."
Shamus grinned as
he replied, "And if they do see you there, they certainly will be worrying that
you see them there, right?"
Connor's face
brightened just a bit, then he nodded. Shamus waved for him to come around the
desk, and when he did, the older man wrapped his arms around the boy, kissed
the top of his head, then pushed him toward the door. "Off to bed with you,
boy. Ronin's worried sick."
Connor hesitated,
then asked, "What do I tell him?"
Shamus gave a
slight shrug, saying, "That's up to you, boy. Everyone on the ranch knows I'm a
drunk. No shame in admitting you have problems, especially to those who love
you."
Connor's mind was
turning those last six words around in his head as he climbed the stairs. Did
Ronin love him? Did Katty? They just met him but, other than a bit of stress
between he and Ronin, everyone had welcomed him with open arms. They already
knew he was gay, and had made a point of making sure he knew it wasn't a
problem. Would they be the same with this? Or would they think less of him. His
alcoholic mind grabbed onto that last thought and fought hard to hang onto it.
As he walked into the bedroom, Ronin's reaction made the decision for him.
"DUDE! What
happened? I searched everywhere up here then I went and asked Shamus. He said I
should leave you alone a while cause you're upset." Suddenly, he looked at the
floor, and in a softer voice asked, "I didn't upset you by catching you, um...
you know."
Connor stepped
forward and put his arms around his cousin, hugging him tight. As he did, he
felt the tears on his shoulder, so he squeezed even tighter as he said, "It
wasn't you, honest, cuz, it's not you at all."
Once they
separated, Connor sat on the bed and told Ronin what had happened. The only
details he left out were the exact words he and Jack had said. When Connor
talked about his fears of the other kids finding out, Ronin promised him that
if anyone said anything bad, he, Emmet, and the twins would `bust them up'. As
they talked, they were both getting more and more sleepy. Their final words,
"Love you, cuz," were said with both of them laying on the bed, on either side
of Danny.
Connor groaned when
he felt Danny climbing out of the bed to rush to the bathroom. He looked over
to see Ronin grinning at him. "What's so funny?"
Ronin shrugged,
then said, "The idea of you being a dad before ever having sex," before he
jumped up and ran to the bathroom.
Connor quickly
joined his cousin and Danny at the bowl, and couldn't help but smile as the boy
giggled about them crossing streams. Danny turned to run, but Connor grabbed
him and made sure he washed his hands before doing the same himself. Then he
threw Danny over his shoulder and carried the giggling boy down the stairs.
The kitchen was
empty, so Connor asked Ronin if he could cook. When the reply was yes, the boys
dug into the task with a passion. Connor was mixing pancake batter while Ronin
was mixing a dozen eggs with salt, pepper, garlic, diced onion, and a splash of
milk. Standing side by side at the stove, they each poured their mixtures into
a pan or onto the griddle, at the same time. Every few seconds, one or the
other would glance back to check on Danny, who was carefully setting the table.
Connor grinned as he heard the boy naming off who was in the house as he
pointed to each plate, making sure he had enough.
Both boys jumped
when they heard the door to the microwave being closed, and looked back to see
Katty starting it to cook bacon. Shortly after that, they heard the thunder of
the twins and Emmet running down the stairs. Connor laughed quietly when he heard
Katty yell at the three of them to, "Get your asses in the bathroom and wash
your hands. I know where they've been!"
While waiting for
the bacon, Katty started the coffeemaker, then pulled down three mugs before
asking, "Connor?"
Without needing to
ask what she meant, he replied, "Yes, please." Katty's reply was to pull
another mug down.
Soon, Shamus came
into the room and smiled at the scene. His smile grew as Katty handed him a mug
of hot coffee, black, like he liked it. Connor and Ronin loaded up platters,
and once they were all gathered around the table, Shamus nodded for everyone to
dig in.
After breakfast,
Katty and the twins cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher while Ronin and
Connor washed and dried the pan and griddle they had used. That done, Shamus
led them all to his office.
As he sat behind
his desk, Connor spoke up. "Before Shamus says whatever he wants to say, I need
to tell you all something."
Shamus' face said
he knew what was coming, and Connor was surprised to see, what he thought was
pride, shining through. Ronin also knew what was coming, and he stepped to
Connor's side, placing his arm around his cousin's shoulder. The others simply
gathered around to listen.
Connor started by
telling his cousins about his first experience with drinking. He went on to
tell them about the times he had passed out at his friend's house, and the many
times he desperately wanted a drink, but couldn't find a way to get one. He was
about to relate the events of last night when he realized he had somewhere to
be. Glancing at the clock, he simply said there was more, but he didn't have
time right now to go into in. Part of him was shocked, and part of him was
relieved, then they all stepped closer to enclose him in a group hug. When that
broke, each of them gave him an individual hug, along with words of
encouragement.
Shamus cleared his
throat and said, "I was just going to say that Connor and I had somewhere to be
this morning, but now, I'll say that we're going to a meeting. The rest of you,
get dressed. About the time Connor and I get back, Drake should be getting
here. He'll probably want access to some books in my library, so if he's here
before we get back, know that he's allowed anything he needs. We'll talk more
at lunch."
With that, he
stood, and they all headed off to get dressed.
As they pulled up
in front of the run down building, the look on Connor's face told Shamus what
the boy thought of the place. More telling was the way Connor was staring at
the group of people sitting at the picnic table, smoking and laughing. Shutting
the engine off, Shamus reached over and put his hand on the boy's shoulder and
asked, "Do you want me to go in with you? Or do you want me to respect your
privacy?"
Connor's gaze
stayed on the group at the table as he asked, "Do you know many of them?"
Shamus nodded as he
said, "Most of them. Why does that matter?"
"Um, I might say
something that might make them think less of our family."
Shamus let out a
laugh as he said, "Son, we're all drunks. None of us is in a place to judge the
other. Remember, what other people think of me is none of my business, right?"
Connor's grin told
the old man that he'd said the right thing. Taking a deep breath, Connor said,
"Come with me. I'm sure I've done enough lately that you need to share too."
That brought on a
full cackle from Shamus, and once he'd settle down, he said, "That's part of
living with someone else, boy. I'd like to think that I'm wise enough to share
without stepping on your toes." Noticing something outside, he pointed and
said, "There's two boys that look to be about your age. I know them, but it
might be better if you go introduce yourself, don't you?"
Connor looked up
and watched as the two teens walked over to the table and greeted the group.
Their body language said that they were entirely comfortable with the adults,
and their smiles said they were in a good mood. After a glance at Shamus,
Connor gripped the door handle for a second, then opened the door and stepped
out.
Sitting in the
truck, Shamus watched as Connor slowly approached the two boys. Of course,
Shamus knew them, and was happy they happened to be here this morning. He
almost wished he had called them last night, but he knew that if Connor ever
learned of that kind of interference, the boy might never trust him again. As
he watched, Connor shook hands with each boy, then tipped his head in the
direction of the pickup, apparently saying that he was family. Before their
conversation got very involved, one of the boys suggested they move a few feet
away, for more privacy, and Shamus saw how much that one intuitive move made
his grandson relax even more. Once he felt the boys were well into their
conversation, he stepped out of the truck and greeted some of his old friends
at the table.
When everyone
started to drift inside for the meeting, Shamus watched as Connor followed his
two new friends through the door. He let a few people go in first, so the boy
didn't think he was hovering, then walked inside. He was happy to see Connor
sitting between the boys, but he was shocked to see the empty seat beside the
boy who waved and pointed, indicating he should sit in it.
Shamus knew the
routine of this meeting, he knew that things were done slightly different in
other places and he wisely explained that to Connor. The other boys listened,
and one thanked him for doing that because he was going to spend a month at his
grandmothers. Knowing that meetings might be different eased some of his
concerns. When the meeting started, Shamus watched as Connor nodded at the
differences. Once the preliminaries were out of the way, this meeting followed
the same pattern of most, and Shamus knew Connor's stress level would be rising.
Finally, the leader
asked, "Do we have anyone visiting who would like to introduce themselves?"
Connor started to
stand but the boy on his left said, "Sit your ass back down. You told me you've
moved here, you're not a visitor." Connor quickly sat back down and turned a
deep shade of red as the rest of the room laughed just a little. Despite the
color of Connor's face, Shamus was glad the boy had done it. It established him
as a friend, and it sent the message to the boy that he was home.
When the leader
asked the next question, he was looking at Connor. "Do we have anyone here for
the first time?"
Connor stood, then
turned and punched the outspoken boy on the shoulder. He turned back to the
room and said, "Hi, I'm Connor, and I'm an alcoholic."
Everyone in the
room replied, "Hi Connor."
Connor smiled, then
said, "Do I tell my story now or how does this meeting do it?"
The leader looked
around the room and knew there were no other newcomers, so he nodded at Connor
and said, "Tell us your story."
Connor proceeded to
tell the 14 strangers, and Shamus, the same things he had told his cousins less
than an hour ago. When he finished with his story, he said, "Since I just moved
here, I need a sponsor, and I need all the phone numbers I can get. I almost
gave all my time up last night, and it scares the shit, er, sorry Granda,
scares the um... ah hell, it scares the shit out of me."
Everyone laughed as
he sat, then the boy on Connor's right stood and said, "Hi, I'm Seth, and I'm
an addict."
"Hi Seth," everyone
said.
"That always seemed
so stupid to me, saying my name every time. All of you watched me grow up.
Hell, I've gotten high with some of your kids, but the truth is, it feels good
to stand up and admit I have a problem. If you'd told me that four months ago I
would'a told you you're nuts.
"Anyway, so yeah,
I'm Seth, and if I don't pick up tonight, tomorrow will be four months. My
sponsor told me not to plan on it, but even if I do pick up tonight, I know I
can stop for another four months. I know that if I pick up, and come back here,
none of you will judge me or make fun of me or say shit like `I knew he was no
good'. Not like I don't say that stuff to myself, you know what it's like.
Still, I know I'm worth something now, I know I can do something, if I want. I
mean, five months ago all I cared about was when and how I was gonna get my
next high. Today, all I care about is how I'm gonna handle school. It scares me
too. I know I can't hang out with the same guys in school or I'll go right back
to the same shit. Now, I have friends that don't use. I have friends that don't
drink. I have hope that I can make a life for myself." He finally paused to
look around the room, blushed, and said, "Well, I'm just rambling, so I'll shut
up. Thanks for letting me share."
When he sat down,
everyone replied, "Thanks for sharing," as Connor put his arm around Seth's
shoulder and whispered something in his ear. Seth quickly nodded and pulled out
his phone.
Shamus did end up
sharing. He talked about how used to wake up in his truck at the bar. How he
used to puke in his yard before falling asleep on the couch because his wife
wouldn't sleep with a drunk. How his son had taken over the finances of the
ranch because his father was drunk so often he couldn't manage it. Then he
talked about waking up, looking forward to the challenges of the day. He talked
about falling asleep with his arms wrapped around his loving wife until the day
she passed away. He talked about how good it felt when his sons and grandsons
came to him for advice. He also talked about the internal struggle he still
fought when they did because his alcoholic mind kept telling him he was no
good. He ended by saying that even though he still fought that struggle, he
always won, and would continue to win with the support of the people in this
room, one day at a time.
Several others
shared, and Shamus watched as Connor listened intently, occasionally nodding
that he could relate to what they said. The meeting ended, like most do, with
everyone standing, joining hands in a circle, and repeating the Serenity Prayer.
"God, grant me the
serenity to
Accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference."
Shamus noticed that
Connor started to say something else before everyone said,
"Keep coming back,
it works if you work it"
Shamus had to wait
for Connor while the boy walked around the room, shaking hands with everyone
and asking for their phone numbers. On the way outside, he asked what Connor
was going to say.
"They made us say
`The Lord's Prayer' at the meetings in that church basement. I never liked it.
AA's not supposed to push any religion and sometimes I felt like I didn't
belong because I didn't believe."
Seth was behind
them, and spoke up with, "At the clubhouse, they don't do that, but the local
church has meetings and they do. That's why me and Tony come here. I agree with
you Connor, but some people find comfort believing in God."
Connor shrugged and
said, "It's fine if they believe, and I'd never argue with anyone about their
religion, but don't force me to say things I don't believe."
They were now
standing by Shamus' truck. Seth and Tony had followed Connor, talking about
school and other random things. As he reached for the door, Connor turned back
and gave each boy a hug. He was glad they didn't react badly, then impulsively
asked, "If you two wanna come out to the ranch some time, maybe we could hang
out. Ride the horses or something." He then quickly turned to Shamus and added,
"If that's ok?"
Shamus nodded, then
said, "Everyone's waiting for us at the house, boy. Let's get going." He then
grinned and asked, "Do you want to drive?"
On the drive home,
Shamus had to keep telling the boy to calm down and focus on his driving
because Connor's mood was the complete opposite of what it had been less than
twelve hours before. When Connor's phone rang, Shamus was glad to see the boy
resisting the temptation to answer it. Feeling sympathy, he hit the green
button on the dash, answering the phone through the built in blue-tooth.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Connor, it's
Seth. I know you're driving so I'll be quick. Me and Tony and a couple other
guys are gonna go swimming down by the seventh avenue bridge later today. Think
you can make it?"
Connor glanced at
Shamus, then said, "I got plans with my family all day, dude, maybe another
time?"
"Sure, no problem,
bro. Drive safe."
Shamus hit the
disconnect as they pulled up behind the house. They got out and started to head
inside when Connor asked, "Whose truck is that, Shamus?"
He was about to
answer when the owner of the truck came out of the house, followed by all of
the cousins and Drake. When Connor saw who it was, his body began to shake. He
felt sudden, sharp pains shooting down both of his arms, and his head felt like
it was exploding. At the last second his mind cleared enough for him to realize
what was happening. He was shifting.
The next thing he
knew, he was looking up at the shocked face of Dakota Two Guns.