Thanks for joining me for part five of "Losing To Win". This story is mainly about two high school dudes learning about love, life, and coming to terms with being gay. If you are turned off by this, please don't read on. If you are under 18 (or 21 in some areas), please don't read on. This story is a work of fiction. All similarities are strictly coincidental. All rights reserved. No unauthorized duplication is permitted.

Special thanks goes out to the whole gang on the #niftywriters IRC channel. Also thanks to Ryan, Jay, and John for guiding me along with this series. And, as always, thanks to my "bro", Matt. And now on with the show.
 
 

So there we were. Two uncertain high school boys in each other's arms, holding onto each other for dear life. What Josh didn't know was that I needed him just as much as he needed me. So much was uncertain in my life right now. I could just throw my hands up in the air and say forget it! But, at the same time, I didn't want to.

"Steve," he finally said.

"Hmm?" I asked.

"I hate to break up this tender moment, but my mom will be home soon. So, I think we should, uh, get out of bed before she arrives," he said.

I looked down at him. "She doesn't know?"

"No, she doesn't," he answered.

I let go of him and he got up off the bed. I stayed there for a moment, just watching his small body walk away. He looked so adorable. For a nerd, he knew how to dress, which is one of the reasons I didn't understand why he was picked on so much. He was wearing a long-sleeved Abercrombe shirt with cargo pants that hugged that cute fuckin' ass. I sighed. He turned around and smiled.

"What?"

"You look fuckin' hot, bro," I said.

"I do?"

"Yeah, you do. You really should wear contacts, bud. Your blue eyes are phenomenal," I said.

"Contacts? I've always worn glasses since I was like four. They're just a part of me."

"Oh," I replied, getting up off the bed. I stretched as I looked at my new boy. He looked at me and smiled.

"You are incredible," Josh said, coming over and wrapping his arms around me. I hugged him and gave him a kiss on the lips.

I looked the radio clock next to his bed. "Well, it's about nine. I should be heading home, bro. I gotta get up early tomorrow."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I gotta deliver papers in the morning. I have a paper route," I explained.

"Okay. Well, I was wondering if by any chance you were free tomorrow night?" he asked.

I thought about it. "I may just be free. What did you have in mind?"

"I don't know. Maybe a movie or something?"

"I'll let you know tomorrow. Oh, wait dude," I said, grabbing a sheet of paper off his desk and a pen. "Look, here's my number. Don't be afraid to call it."

"Really?"

"Well, don't call past ten on a school night. But please, don't be afraid to call me," I said, handing over my number.

"Wow, thanks," he said.

"Uh, can I have yours too?" I asked.

"Oh yeah," he said, writing his number down too. He tore off the bottom half of the paper where he wrote it and gave it to me.

"Cool!" I answered. I wrapped my arms around hm again and said, "Good night, bud."

"Good night, Steve," he said, resting his head on my chest.

I left after that and went back home. I felt like an enormous weight had been lifted off me. I really did feel bad about what happened that one night and I wanted to make it up to him. Though I didn't know what was going to happen next, I knew that I really enjoyed being around him. Years of being a jock around all those stupid guys can really play tricks on you. At the same time, I was always looking for a way out to be different. It can be tiring after a while. To be honest, after being with Josh tonight, I felt like I had just been going through the motions all this time. Something new came alive tonight and I was liking it a lot.

But, then again, I knew I had to face my friends again tomorrow and that was going to be a tough battle. So, I decided right then and there that I was going to have to lead two lives. A socially acceptable one and the one I wanted. After I got home, I went straight upstairs to my room . I was worn out and tired. However, there was a part of me that was ready and awake.

As soon as I was in bed, I grabbed my cock and started stroking it slowly. It felt so fucking good. Images of Josh popped into my head instantaneously. I saw his beautiful face and body, naked before my eyes. I saw his boyish body, smooth as the day he was born. I looked down at my hard seven inch cock. I was oozing with precum. For the first time in my life, I rubbed some of my finger and put it up to my mouth. I imagined it was Josh's precum instead and sucked on my finger. I reached down to my balls, gently squeezing them. I let out a quiet moan. I could see him going down on me, licking my balls. I ran my hand through his hair as he licked my balls up to my shaft.

God, it felt so good. I imagined him climbing on top of me, pressing his hot body up against mine. I reached up and started playing with my left nipple. Oh, fuck, Josh, suck my dick. I started stroking my cock faster and harder, and reached down with my other hand and pulled on my low hanging balls.

I felt sweat falling down my face as I pounded my meat. I precum a lot whenever I beat off, and it almost made of a natural kind of lube. My hand traveled down to my asshole which it sometimes did when I beat off. I started lightly tracing it, and gently pressing into it.

"Aw, yeah," I whispered. I imagined Josh between my legs, with his tongue up against my ass. I knew what it felt like since Jill had done it once or twice. She didn't like it but she knew it drove me up a wall. I felt that familiar feeling rising up, and I knew it wouldn't be much longer.

I couldn't take it any longer and I went crazy. I just kept having these images of Josh flashing through my mind. I beat my meat and I started trembling. I couldn't help letting out a cry as the first orgasmic wave shot through my whole body. The load shot up and over my head landing on the pillow. The second shot landed on my chest. All the while, I was shaking and convulsing from the intense pressure that was being released.

I just laid there, spread out on my bed, breathing hard. "Fuck," I whispered. I got curious as how to my load tasted, something I never did before. I had cum on my left hand and licked my index finger. It didn't taste that bad, actually. I proceeded to lick the rest of the cum off my hand and then I scooped up some that landed on my chest. Fuck, I liked it! I liked my own cum. God, I was turning queer.
 

The next day was a busy one for me. I didn't see Josh at all today, but strangely, he was on my mind all day! I couldn't get him out of my mind. It was almost annoying. Every time he would pop in my head, another part of my body would pop up. I started also noticing that I was checking out other guys as well. Something I suppose I've always done, but never even really noticed it. I just assumed it was sizing up another guy in comparison to me. But, no, I was actually checking out other guys. Luckily, it seemed that the dudes I checked out weren't the jock-type at all. I guess because I had been surrounded with them all my life, I really didn't care for them. However, the little guys, they just did it for me. It was quite freaky. All I could think of is seeing Josh in the evening tonight. That's the only thing that was on my mind. And I was looking forward to it. I actually was looking forward to it.

I met up with Joe at the end of the school day, like I normally did. He was always the first to arrive and then he was followed by Jill. I pulled Joe aside before Jill got there.

"Bud, I'm going crazy. Am I gay?" I asked him, softly.

"Huh?"

"I can't get that fuckin' kid out of my head. I've been checkin' out other dudes too. Am I gay?"

Joe looked at me as if I WERE crazy. "Woah, Steve. I don't know anything about that. You are what you are. Besides, I don't think you want to discuss that here, man."

"Yeah, I know..." Just then, I felt some soft arms wrapping around my waist. This was the last thing I needed today.

"Jill!" I exclaimed, trying to act excited.

We kissed on the lips. Instinctively, I looked around to see if anyone was looking at us. Guess who was?

I broke the kiss and turned to look at Josh. His expressions said it all. He turned red, gave me a glare, and turned the other way as he walked by.

Oh, shit, I thought to myself. What did I do now?

"Steve?" I heard Jill's voice distant in the background.

I was still watching him as he walked away, looking miserable.

"Steve? Are you all right?" she asked again.

"Huh?" I said, swiftly turning my attention towards her again.

"Uh, yeah," I said, turning back around to my locker.

"So, are we going to do what we had planned to do tonight?" she asked.

I turned back around and looked at her with a blank face.

"Remember?" she asked. "You were going to take me out to eat?"

I gave no reaction whatsoever. I just looked at her with a blank face.

"Well, obviously not," she said, looking a little annoyed herself. "Well, we had plans to go out to eat, babe."

"Oh," I said. Shit, I thought to myself. What about Josh?

I threw my books in the locker and closed it. I needed to get away fast. But I couldn't break the date with Jill. She looked so disappointed that I had forgotten. I couldn't let her down. I knew I was taking her home, as I usually do. Joe went along for the ride as well.

"Well, then, I guess we're going to dinner," I said, throwing my back pack on my back and we all started to walk towards the nearest exit.
 

We all jumped in my car and headed home.

"Is anything wrong, Steve?" Jill asked, taking a hold of my hand.

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Joe gave a sympathetic look at me. He was no help.

"Nah, I think I'm just tired," I said. "I'm okay. How was your day?"

"Ugh, Mr. McShane is driving me crazy!" she said.

Ah yes, I had him two years ago for World Cultures. He was a pain. "Yeah, he is a bit overwhelming. What's he got you doing now?"

"Writing a five page report and we've got a test on the day it's due, which is tomorrow. On top of that, he's got us doing this stupid on going research project that's due at the end of the quarter."

"Man, that sucks," Joe said from the back seat.

"I know," she said. "Steve, are you sure you're all right? You look awfully tense."

"Why don't you just put out for him, Jill? That'll relieve his tension!" Joe quipped.

I glared at Joe in the mirror. He just smiled. Jill turned around and said, "Not any time soon."

I could definitely tell Jill was sensing there was something wrong with me. I didn't know what to do at this point. I knew it would happen. Jill would come home with me after I dropped Joe off and then we'd do whatever and then go out to dinner. All the while I was thinking, what about Josh?
 

I dropped off Joe at his house and then it was just Jill and I on our way back to my house. As soon as we got inside, she took my hand and led me into the living room. We both sat down. I looked at the girl who I thought was the girl of my dreams two years ago. Until recently, I thought she was. I looked at the same beautiful face which had behind it a beautiful person as well. I thought she turned me on. She did in the past.

"Okay, babe, what's going on?" she asked.

"Nothing, Jill. I'm just a little tired. Nothing's going on."

"I can tell there's something going on in that complex mind of yours. I can always tell, you know," she said.

"Yeah, I know. You can read me like a book," I said, putting my arm around her waist, pulling her in.

"So, then what's wrong?"

"Nothing I can't handle myself," I said. I should've known better than to take the conversation this direction.

She pulled away from me. "Steve, I'm worried about you. For the past week, you haven't been the same. Won't you please tell me what's bothering you? You never call me anymore unless I call you. You won't kiss me as much as you used to. You forgot about our plans tonight. What's happening?"

I suddenly got very annoyed. "Nothing," I said flatly. I got up off the couch and turned to look at her. "Look, it's nothing. I can handle it myself."

She gave me her unhappy look. God I hated that look. I knew she could be very persistent. For a young chick, she had everything together. That's what I liked about her. But now, her persistence was annoying.

"Well, if you don't want to tell me, that's fine. I'll find out eventually. Look, there is a rumor going around in school about you. I chose not to believe it at first, but I don't know anymore. Are you seeing someone else?"

"WHAT?" I exclaimed for several reasons. "What? No! Absolutely not."

She looked hurt at my reaction. "Well, why can't you tell me then?"

"I just can't!" I yelled.

She got up off the couch and my eyes followed hers. "Steve, I'm here for you. Just like you were there for me all those times during my parent's divorce. I want us to be able to share things with each other. Our good times and troubles. So, please, tell me just what's bothering you."

I just couldn't do it. I would break her heart, and I couldn't do it. I wasn't sure of myself. I didn't want to lose her.

"Jill, I...."

"You what?"

"Nothing."

She grabbed her bag and started walking for the door. "I guess I misjudged our relationship, Steve. I thought we could tell each other anything."

"Not this," I said, before I could stop myself.

She was not happy at my response. "Fine, Steve. I guess I'll go home then. When you're ready to open up to me, after all, we have been together for two years now, then come to me all right?"

I just looked up at her, ashamed of my existence. I couldn't say a word.

She said nothing and walked out the door.

I sat on the couch for a few moments to take in what I had just done. I just hurt the best thing that ever came into my life. I was taking her for granted and by not wanting to hurt her, I hurt her nonetheless. Nothing I could do was right. Nothing!

I groaned and headed up to my room where I saw a piece of paper on my desk. I looked at the handwriting, realizing it was Josh's. His phone number. He was the cause of all my problems! He truly fucked up my life for good. I had a right to be angry at him. I dialed his number, not knowing what I was going to say. .

"Hello?" the voice on the other end said.

"Yeah, is Josh there?" I asked.

"Yeah, this is he."

"Josh, it's Steve," I said.

There was a long silence. "What do you want?" he asked.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked.

"Dude, I saw you in the hallway today at school...."

"Yeah, so?" I said, not in the mood for any of anyone's bullshit.

"I was wrong. I can't handle it...."

"Handle what? Seeing me kiss my girlfriend?"

"Seeing you WITH your girlfriend..."

"Aw, fuck, man. I said that I wasn't going to be able to break up with her for you. What the fuck did you expect?"

"I don't know, but not that," he answered quickly.

"Fuck you, Josh. Fuck everyone, fuck no one. Fuck the whole god damn planet for all I care!" I yelled. I was steaming.

"Fuck you too, Steve. And fuck me for thinking that you were different. Fuck me for believing what you said....."

"What I said? What the fuck did I say?" I yelled into the phone.

"Fuck you, Steve. You're a lying sack of shit. To me and your poor girlfriend."

Click.

That fucker hung up on me, I thought to myself. I had so much rage in me that I punched the wall. Why the fuck was I letting this get to me? What did he have that made me feel this way? Who the hell was he to say that to me?

I didn't even think of what to do next. I just did it. I went out the door, walked right over to Josh's house, and rang the door bell. I saw the front door open behind the screen door and I opened it up. Josh was about to close the door when I blocked it with my hand.

"What the fuck do you want?" he asked.

"Can I come in?" I asked, calming down.

"No, what do you want?" he asked.

"I came over here because...." I said, suddenly losing all my anger. His voice strangely had a relaxing effect on me.

"Well?" he asked.

"Because....I....I....uh...."

He opened the door wide and appeared before me. God he was handsome.

"Because I wanted to see you," I said, softly.

His face softened up and he looked surprised to hear me say that. "Josh, please. I'm sorry about what I said on the phone. Please, I need to talk to someone. I just pissed off my girlfriend. I don't know who I am anymore."

His small frame was overshadowed by mine. He backed up and let me in his house. He closed the front door behind me. I grabbed him and threw my arms around him, hugging him so hard and tight. He looked up at me and I picked him up. I pressed my lips against his and kissed him, long and hard. Finally, I set him down and we both walked silently to the family room.

He sat down and patted the spot next to him. I slumped down beside him. Then he reached around me and pulled me into him. I cuddled up next to him, surprised that it actually worked and felt good. He slowly ran his hand through my short brown hair. He kissed me on the forehead and just held on to me.

"I'm glad you came anyway," he softly said.

"So am I. I've been waiting all day to do this," I said. "Sounds crazy doesn't it?"

"No, not really. I have too."

I couldn't believe that I, Mr. Strong Jock, was actually feeling safe and secure in little wimp's arms. But there I was, enjoying every second with his arms around me. He was soft and warm, but strong too. It seemed crazy for anyone including me to believe, but there I was. In this state, everything made sense to me. The world was gone, it was just he and I. Together.

The comfortable silence was broken by Josh who asked, "So, when you kissed her, did you feel anything?"

He always knew how to directly approach a subject, whether it be physics or my life.

I drew in a long breath. "Not as much as I feel kissing you, bro," I answered.

"Really?" he asked, looking down at me.

I shook my head yes. He leaned down to kiss me on the lips. I met him halfway. He soon turned in such a way that now he was directly on top of me. He was grinding his dick into my stomach. I thought I had just imagined it before, but it felt like he was pretty big. I couldn't resist and I grabbed it. I traced the outline of it through his jeans and it felt huge. I wanted to see it. I had to have it.

"Dude, whip it out, man," I said, in a hoarse voice.

"What?" he asked, stopping all of his motions.

"Come on, let me see what you got," I said.

"Okay..." he said, getting up off me. He unbuttoned his jeans and undid the zipper. He pulled them down and he was left standing there in his boxer briefs. Fuck did he look hot.

"Take off your shirt, dude," I said. I wanted to see this boy naked. Just as I had in my mind last night.

He seemed to hesitate now.

"Come on, bro. Please. I want to see you. You've got nothing to be ashamed about. To me, you can't get much hotter than you already are. Anything more will make you hotter to me."

He looked at me again and smiled. He whipped off his shirt and there he was, standing before me, only in his boxers briefs. His cock was rock hard in them and I could see the tip poking out of the waist band. He stroked it once. He was beautiful. Smooth skin all around, except his legs. He had light definition, which was a surprise to me. I never realized before what the male body could do to me.

I sat up and then got up. I walked over to him, running my rough, big hand down his smooth chest. I looked down at him and he had his eyes closed. My hand kept running down his smooth stomach, down to his big cock. I never thought I'd be doing this, but at the moment, it didn't matter to me at all. I reached underneath the back of his waist band and felt his smooth, hard ass. He wrapped his arms around me, and grinded his cock into me.

"God, you feel good," I said. He then reached under my shirt and started feeling my smooth, built chest. He played with one nipple and he seemed to go wild after feeling my pecs. He lifted up my shirt and I raised my arms. He practically tore it off and immediately went down on my chest, his tongue brushing up against my nipple.

But I had other plans. I stopped him and gently led him down to the couch again. I kissed him deeply. Our tongues fighting each other, as we felt every inch on our bodies. I got up and I gently began to pull his underwear off. He looked at me with anticipation. I grinned up at him as I grabbed a hold of his cock and started stroking it. This was his moment and I wanted to do the best job I possibly could do.

The next thing I did surprised the hell out of me. I wanted to suck his cock. I just had to have it in my mouth, and taste it. I looked at it. I knelt down in front of him and I swooped down and started licking the tip of it with my tongue. He moaned, quite loudly in fact, as his whole body shivered. I licked it again, same reaction. I then decided, ah, what the hell and I took it all in my mouth. He grabbed onto the back of my head and said, "Oh fuck!"

I then started sucking up and down on his cock, not know what the hell I was doing.

"Ow! Man, watch the teeth!" he exclaimed.

I looked up at him. "I'm sorry, bro. This is my first time."

I went back down on him, this time paying more attention to what was going on in my mouth. I took my time not to scruff his cock with my teeth again. I licked down his shaft, down to his balls. It was a different kind of scent. Not one I was used to, but it was erotic nonetheless. His hair was dark red down around his balls. His cock was huge for his size. Probably about the same length as mine and just as thick. And mine was about 7.5 inches. I couldn't believe a boy this size could have a cock that size. I put his cock back in my mouth and started sucking on it again. He let out some pretty loud moans.

"God it's been so long, Steve. Aw, that feels good, bro. Keep on going," was all he said.

I knew how much I enjoyed my balls being played with when I was getting a blow job, so I reached up with my hand and started pulling lightly on his balls. I felt them rise up next to his body so quickly. I knew he was about to cum. I got up off his cock and started stroking it.

"Steve, I'm gonna shoot," he moaned. I watched him as semen came out of the tip of his cock. He wasn't much of a shooter, but he sure did dribble. He had a giant pool of cum all over my fingers and his stomach by the time he was done.

I put my hand up to my mouth and licked some of his seed off my fingers.

"Not bad," I said.

He looked at me, worn out from the orgasm and smiled. "Thanks."
 
 
 

After five parts of this story, I figure that there had better be sex in the story. So i gave you two short scenes. The boys will be back soon as more of the continuing story of "Losing To Win" is written. Thanks to all who have responded in the past about my writing. I really do appreciate it. I am always open to comments and suggestions from readers. Please send them to NEPhillyBoy76@aol.com Thanks!