Date: Tue, 13 Dec 2011 02:53:05 -0500 From: Jesse Jesse Subject: Matthew, My Love Pt 16 Hey guys. Sorry it's taken so long for me to post another chapter. I so appreciate all the kind words and thoughts about the story. It's exciting to check my email every day and see who's said what about their characters. I can't help but be amused at the split of oppinions between "I love Matthew" and "I love Drew." Whether you believe me or not, your comments and emails are actually helping me write this story. I'd like to set a little something strait regarding an email I got. This is a FICTIONAL story, with only some characters based on real people. None of the events have actually happened, at least not to me. I had an email sent saying that "the story was way too raw and painful," that it brought up memories of a real-life situation in this person's life. I am sorry for anything that may have upset you, but I have to write this story as I feel/believe it in my head. A lot of you have commented on how "raw" and sad it can be at times. The story is purposely written in that manner! Unfortunately, love doesn't always have a happy ending! But, hint-hint, if you'll just stick around a little longer, (yes, there's a few more chapters) I've got something in mind that's not gonna be expected. I don't wanna give anything away, because I don't wanna build anticipation and then someone be disappointed when it's not what they expect! LOL......Thanks again for all the kind words, and hope you keep enjoying the reading as much as I keep enjoying the writing! ----------------------------------------------------------------- I stood grounded to the frozen ground beneath, stunned as I watched Drew's back disappear up the bleachers and into the night. Leaving. No! He couldn't be leaving me! Please, no! I wondered if sleep would ever come to me that night. Tossing and turning, I spent the night mentally kicking myself for lashing out in such a way. How stupid I'd been! What an utter ass I'd been! Here this wonderful guy had loved me so, treated me like royalty, and I'd turned so quickly toward him. I hadn't even bothered to find out the whole story about his uncle's transfer, or why he wanted Drew to be in Tennessee before. All I'd done was hurl as many cruel words at him as I could think of. Truth be told, the more I thought the whole night through again, the more I was amazed at my own selfishness and cruelty. I'd spent the whole night worrying about Matthew and his slutty girlfriend, not really paying that much attention to Drew until it was too late. And when he had told me about leaving, I'd not shown sadness or heartache. What an utter asshole I'd been! There was no way around it. I'd have to try and find him tomorrow and make things up with him. And with that resolution of making things right, I rolled over and tried once more to sleep...Where was I? I wasn't at home, yet this place seemed familiar, comforting. So where was "this place?" ... "Don't you remember? This is our place." A smiling face came into view, those two blue eyes sparkling brilliantly, the sandy blonde hairy just as messily tossed about as ever.. "Surely you remember our place?" "I do, but what am I doing here?" "You belong here. Don't you see that?" "No! I love Drew now!" "Yes, I know you love Drew, but you never truly stopped loving me, did you?"... "I...I...I don't love you." "Then why am I in your dreams?" The next morning I found an envelope taped to my locker: Alex, I didn't know if I'd see you again, so I wanted leave you with this. I'm sorry about last night. I'm sorry about the whole situation. I guess I had it coming, with you being so upset with me. I should've told you before now, but I just couldn't bring myself to. Uncle Tom found out about us. When I tell you this, you're going to be so hurt at me, but I'd never told him about us being together. Please forgive me for this, but I'm afraid you just don't know my uncle. See, that's why I'm leaving. I couldn't bring myself to tell you last night, but when Uncle Tom found out about us, he went crazy, said he wanted me away from you. That's why he's moving before the year's over. Alex, I wish you the very best in life. I wish I could say that I'd write or call, but Uncle Tom's already berserk, much less if he found out we were still talking. He'd kill me. I want you to know that I really do love you. You've loved me for just me. I've never felt like I had to be anybody that I wasn't, or that I had to take somebody else's place. I have a confession to make. When we first started dating, I was afraid you'd compare me to Matthew. Guess that's silly now, huh? I want to apologize to you, too, about what I said about you and Matthew. I know, even though you love me so, you'll always have a place in your heart for him. I'm sorry for bringing that up. That was acting like an ass, on my part. I apologize for being so mean. Please forgive me. I love you, Alex, and I hope you have a wonderful life, Drew So that's what it was! Drew's uncle had found out about us. Drew's uncle had been a source of mystery to me before. I'd never seen the man. Drew had never asked me over to his house. I'd mentioned it a couple of times, just seeing what his room looked like or something, but each time he'd carefully avoided giving me and answer, just pretending not to hear. But what was so bad about his uncle? Could he really be that bad of a person? I had to talk to Drew! The only problem was, where was he? When I finally found Drew, I receive a more than welcoming greeting. "Drew...DREW!" That got his attention. "What is it Alex?" His face was stony, showing nothing. I mentally kicked myself again, my mind muttering, "what`d you expect?"..."I...I...look Drew, I just wanted to apologize for last night. I know I acted like a complete jackass. I didn't even bother asking why your uncle was transferring or anything. I..." "Look, Alex, I really don't have time to talk right now. Could we do this some other time?" ... "Uh, sure, how about this evening?" ... "Who's this Drew?" Unbeknownst to me, a huge oversized man had appeared behind me. "Uncle Tom, this is Alex." The man's fat face contorted. "Oh, so you're `Alex,' are you? Well, you better make good of the time you have left with Drew, because he'll not be around much later for you to corrupt!" "Uncle Tom, please. Not here." The large man bristled, his eyes staring daggers at his nephew. "Not another word out of you! All right. You wanna `talk,' then we'll talk. You come by the house in just a little while after school, and we'll set this whole thing strait!" And with his barking finished, the round man marched down the school corridor. "Look, Alex, you don't have to apologize to me. Please listen to me, and don't come this evening! You'll regret it if you do." There was a look of worry in Drew's eyes, but was it worry for himself or me? The rest of the day slogged by at its normal pace, seeming to be an endless advanced literature class. Finally three o'clock came, and with butterflies in my stomach, I made my way toward Drew's house. I was, by no means, wanting to cause trouble or family problems, but I needed Drew to know I was sorry. I'd not gotten to really talk with him while at school, save for our interrupted meeting in the hall. I needed desperately for him to know that I was sorry! The doorbell was answered on the first ring, as if someone were standing at the door waiting for my arrival. "Well, come in `Alex.' We've been looking forward to your visit." Drew's uncle Tom smiled a revoltingly nasty smile as I squeezed past him through the door. "This way!" He jabbed a pudgy finger toward an adjacent room. The sight that filled my eyes made me want to cry on the spot. Drew sat on the sofa, a fresh red hand print on his cheek, slumped in seeming defeat. "Sit!" Doing as I was told, I positioned myself between Drew and his uncle. I couldn't explain it, but I felt the sudden need to protect Drew. "So, you're the famous Alex. Well, Alex, I've heard my fair share of you." I tried to act casual, as if his over-dramatized tone of voice gave me no intention of how I already knew he felt about me. "Well, I hope it's been good things you've heard about me." I tried to laugh carelessly. A knee made contact with mine. As I turned toward Drew, I saw it. The most minute movement of his head shaking, trying his most desperate attempt at telling me to be silent. It seemed as though Tom couldn't wait, however, to truly breach what our "discussion" was about. "It's not been good! It's been anything but good!" His booming voice seemed to shake the chandelier overhead, Drew cringing all the while. "Don't you try to play dumb with me, boy! You know damn well why you're here! You're the little male slut who's been running around with every hormone-crazed horny young guy in the school! Don't you think people know about you, know about what you do to their children? You mixed up that poor Letterman boy, filling his head with a bunch of fucking shit, and now he's going to be a father, at seventeen no less!" I couldn't explain the sudden courage that I felt. I came from seemingly out of nowhere. "Excuse me, Tom, but that's really no concern of yours. Matthew and I had a great relationship together, but I don't see how that has anything to do with Drew."...I didn't know it was possible for a man's face to turn so violent a shade of red. "NONE OF MY BUSINESS! WHY, YOU INSOLENT LITTLE PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT! HOW DARE YOU COME INTO MY HOME AND TELL ME WHAT IS AND ISN'T MY BUSINESS!"... "Let me tell you something, boy. It damn well is my business. Drew and Matthew were best friends for most of their lives. Now, because of you, they're both fucked up royally, both think they're queer as a two dollar bill! I may not be able to control Matthew Letterman's life, but when it come's to Drew's, I sure as hell can! You stupid little slut! How dare you..." But I'd had enough. All of my life I'd taken people's shit, playing puppy dog and rolling over while people trampled on how I felt. Not again! "SHUT UP! JUST SHUP UP!..." Uncle Tom fell silent, a look of confusion on his face. Had this been the first time anyone had spoken back to him? Whether it was or not, I saw my chance and grabbed it. "All right, you obese son of a bitch! I've listened to what you've had to say to me, so now it's your turn. You want to act all high-and-mighty to me, like you're some kind of saint, sitting up on your snowy-white pedestal, when anyone else in the room could see how cruel you are towards Drew! Do you think I'm blind? Do you honestly think I'm not capable of realizing that he didn't have that bruise when he left school? It's a little more than coincidence that he just happened to get a hand-shaped bruise on him after he came home! How dare you try to criticize me, especially based on rumors you've heard! I'd never seen you before in my life, never even heard you name! Where do you get off jumping down my throat? Yes, Matthew is expecting a baby, but in case you never took "sex-ed," it take's more than two guys to have a kid! He might have stuck it up my ass, but he didn't make me the first pregnant boy! If Matthew's got someone pregnant, that's his business and not mine. I have nothing to do with that! Now, that being said, I love your nephew. Yes, that's right! I said I love him! You're too hypocritical in your own preaching, though, jumping down my throat while you abuse your own family, to see that! Now, I have no intention of ever seeing you again, but if I take a notion to see Drew before you leave, I'll damn well see him! You can take that to the bank! Before you stuck your fucking fat ass into the picture, all I wanted to do was apologize to him anyway! Now, I may not be able to control what you do to him after you leave, but I sure as hell can now. I'm going to be watching him, whether we continue our relationship or not, and if I see one strange mark on him, one red spot, I'll report you to Social Services so fast it'll make your stupid, fat head swim!...Have a most gratifying day...Bastard!" "Alex, Alex!" Drew! What was he doing here? I had went home and sobbed, half expecting to hear of Drew being in the hospital or something the next morning. "Drew! What are you doing here?" "I still go to school here...at least for a few more days. Look, Alex, I've not got much time. I just wanted to thank you. I've wanted to tell my uncle off for years, but never had the balls. It was nice to see someone put him in his place!" A blush crept over my face, but I found myself chuckling anyway. "I'm really sorry about that. Guess I just, kinda lost my cool. Did I cause you more trouble?" "No! He's hardly said two words since you left. I think he's still in shock!" "Look Drew, I really am sorry about the other night at the dance. I acted like a complete asshole. Please forgive me! I'd love for us to try to stay together, even if it's through phone calls. I know a lot of times long-distance relationships don't work out, but I'd love to try. I love you!" Two muscular arms crushed me in a hug. "And I love you! But Alex...I think we both know this wouldn't work out. I mean, you're going to one college, and I'm going to another. That's like 200 miles apart! Even if we tried, we couldn't drive back and forth to see each other! And what kind of relationship is that anyway?" "Drew, please don't talk like that. We can make this work!"... "Alex, I need to tell you something, something that I think we've both known but never admitted...I know you're still in love with Matthew."...My heart stopped. I could've been knocked over with a feather. "Drew! Drew, please don't kid about stuff like that!" "Alex, baby, don't try to deny it. Way down deep, we both know it's true! If you didn't love him, you wouldn't have been so upset when he came walking in with that slut the other night. Or if you didn't love him, I wouldn't find myself being so jealous all the time!" "I didn't know you were jealous!" "I've always been jealous of you two! Oh, I've never admitted it, but I've always been jealous of the special love you two had...Look, Alex, I'm not saying this trying to be mean or spiteful, but we both know, at least if we're honest with each other, that you still love him, and I get that! I really do! So instead of us dragging this out and trying to make something work that's never going to, why not let's just part on good terms and remember each other in a good way? Let's remember each other for the love we had together." And with that, Drew bent his supple lips to mine for one last kiss, turning and leaving my mind thoroughly blown and my heart shattered as tears coursed down my cheeks.