Date: Tue, 3 Jan 2012 01:32:20 -0500 From: Jesse Jesse Subject: Matthew, My Love Epilogue Hey guys. I apologize for the lengthy pause between the last chapter and this final epiloge, but holiday stuff's been keeping me busy. I want to sincerely thank you all for all the wonderful, kind comments and notes you've sent in. I hope you've all enjoyed reading this story as much as I've enjoyed writing it. Hope to start a new project soon. Thanks for all the love and support, Jesse --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Epilogue Summer in Appalachia is a beautiful time. Though we have our fair share of heat, it's not the blistering heat of the "deep south." If we top a day of 90, we're thinking we've "set the woods afire." But especially since I'm an evening kind of guy, the balmy evenings of the summer are my favorite time. How I loved those evenings spent on the front porch of our house, or snuggling in the hammock Matthew had came carrying home one evening, sheepishly smiling. The sun seems to linger in the sky until the last possible moment, almost fighting to disappear behind the mountain ridges in the evenings. The night sounds of the mountains, though sometimes frightening to the newcomer, are a soothing melody to the inhabitants of the ancient slopes. Late evenings and nights are filled with the hoots of owls and the yelp of the coyote and fox. Mid-July to early August brings the "ch-ch-ch" sound of the cicada, known to the mountain people as "katydid." These were the happiest hours Matthew and I had spent together in such a long time. Yet even in this peaceful, blissful time, I couldn't help but feel a bit suspicious. There was definitely something going on. Like clockwork, every other work day Matthew would smile mysteriously, dress, and leave. Each time I made an effort to question him about where he was going, he'd simply kiss me and reply vaguely, "I'll tell you when the time's right." Frustrating as this was, there were other matters weighing on my mind. Try as I might to not think of the future, I couldn't help but give a tiny amount of room to the dread of knowing that in a matter of weeks we'd be parting for college. We'd already sorted the plans of returning on the weekends to our home together, he was headed ETSU while I completed my first two years at the community college, to spend all the time together possible, but I knew it wouldn't be the same. Though I tried my hardest never to show Matthew my worry and the heartache that I already felt, he knew. He seemed to sense it from the moment I stepped into a room. Finally one evening he searched my face with his most piercing gaze and began to question. "Alex, babe, what's wrong? You've been quite all evening, hardly said two words. What's going on?" I tried to laugh. "It's nothing serious. You'd laugh or roll your eyes if I told you." "Then what it is? If it bothers you, it's gonna bother me too. What's wrong?" I stared intently at his worried face. Did I dare tell him? Knowing Matthew the way I did, I was afraid that if he found out I dreaded our separating that much, he'd never leave, and then what? "It's just that I've been thinking ahead, you know, a few weeks down the road." But to my surprise, he didn't respond with solemnity or even a guilty expression, but grinned. His face went from worry to a rather sheepish, guilty grin. "Alex there's something I need to tell you. I'm not exactly sure how you're going to take this, because I've been keeping a secret from you, but please hear me out before you go crazy on me." "Okay, I'm listening, though I'm not so sure about this whole 'secrets' thing." "Well, now just hold on. I've been thinking about these same things for a while now, but hadn't said anything, 'cause I didn't want to get your hopes up. Now, remember me telling you once that I had an uncle who was a welder?" "Yes, but what's that go to do with anything?" "Well, it's got plenty. See, Uncle Tony taught me how to use a stick and mig welder when I was just about ten years old. I just had a kid's interest in what my uncle was doing then, but as I got older I realized that I actually was pretty good at it. Well, I saw uncle Tony a few months back, before you and I were even back together, you know, when I was expecting Scarlett." Though he tried to go on, there was that momentary pause when I saw the pain still lingering in a corner of his heart. "Anyway, Uncle Tony told me that that new big industrial truck manufacturing plant 'Altec' had a program for getting welding certification. Well, I knew with Scarlett on the way that I'd not be going to ETSU and I'd need some kind of income, so I started going to classes at the plant. That's where I've been going." My stomach fell. "Oh Matthew! You mean you're not going to ETSU? That's been your dream, your plan since I've known you. Matthew, please, don't do this just because of me. With a better education, you'll have a better job. I don't want you spending your life in some dirty factory!" "Alex, do you know how much a certified welder makes? Have you ever heard? A certified welder can make $40-50 an hour, as much as $60 in bigger towns and cities! And even with money aside, I like it. I enjoy doing something with my hands. You know me. Can you honestly see me working behind some desk the rest of my life?" "Yes, but Matthew, what about ETSU? You talked about that relentlessly before! I don't want you to lose your dream, just to satisfy me!" There was a long pause as Matthew stared into some distant place or thought that I couldn't see, and when he did speak, his voice was low and serious. "Alex sometimes our dreams can change. A year ago I would've never believed that I would have decided not to go to ETSU. Honestly, yes, it was my dream school. But life changes, Alex. Things don't always work out the way we plan, and especially not the way we want. Look at what I'd planned for my life with Scarlett. Even before my little girl was born, I'd already planned our life, and I certainly wasn't expecting to lose her. And look at us. Just look at what one year has brought to our lives! Look at what pain we both endured, endured because of losing each other. Alex, I said it once before, and I'll say it again. I've lost the two most important people to me in the world once. I may not be able to bring Scarlett back, but I'll be damned if I'll lose you again! You are my world now. Losing someone so important in life has a way of shuffling your priorities. You realize going to a certain college, just because of the name, isn't so important any more. It's the people in your life that are important, it's you!" "I just want you to be happy. I don't want you to do this just for me, only to realize a few years down the road that you're not happy." A small smile crossed his face as he brought me close to his warm body. "Believe it or not, Mr. Duncan, not everything is about you! I've made my choice for myself." The sly tone in his voice made me smile. "Oh really? So the fact that we're not going to be separated after all isn't for my benefit at all?" "No, it's for mine!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ten years! Ten years since that fateful day when my life had changed forever. Had someone told me all those years ago that one day I'd be living with the man of my dreams and fantasies, I would have laughed and told them they were insane, yet here we were. Looking back over those ten years, there were aspects of our life together that had changed, and still there were some things that were just as they'd always been. Though our faces shown men that were quickly approaching thirty, Matthew still wore his boyish grin as he locked gazes with me, my own heart still fluttering just as it did that first time we kissed. Eventually earning a masters degree, and working on a doctorate, I'd wound up teaching at the high school I'd hated all those years ago. It was amazing at how a few years experience in life can change one's perspective so. Once the place of my loathing and own self-belittling, "Principal Duncan" now spent my days encouraging students to hone their skills and knowledge for their own confidence and self-betterment. Matthew was ever the same, coming home each day with a dirty face and his clothes greasy from spending the day working with his chosen tools of trade. Not much had changed in our little hollow of the mountains, including the evenings we spent enjoying each other. Though my treatment and therapy had been successful, I still made special efforts to give him "those looks" to let him, not only hear me say, but see how I loved him. And always his answer was the same, the brilliant smile, a tender kiss, and .............. "I know. I love you too!"