Date: Thu, 3 Apr 2008 16:12:59 -0700 (PDT) From: poeticjustice_14@yahoo.com Subject: My Boys: Chapter One. Wow, falling in love was a very strange thing for me. I'm not sure if it was because of how old I was or just whom it was with but I know it happened. First off, my name is Alex and I'm 17 years old. I have hazel eyes, mousy brown hair that I normally keep slightly shaggy, I'm about 5'10 and about 165 pounds, with super white perfect teeth, a cute little baby face that has gotten plenty of looks from girls and guys alike. Anyway, on pretty much every Sunday my family normally congregates at my great grandfathers house for dinner, which normally consists of football outside, maybe some kickball, a little hanging out and playing video games in one of the spare bedrooms and definitely pigging out on great food! After I had my 2nd helping of desert, I decided to go into a bedroom all by myself so I could lie down. My tummy was so full I could barely walk! Anyway, upon entering the bedroom, I pretty much threw myself on the bed and closed my eyes. I felt so warm and comfortable; it felt as the bed was swallowing me in its soft, warm, fluffiness. I closed my eyes and enjoyed my quiet surroundings. No screaming kids, no one laughing, no forks and places making that horrible noise when you scrape them together. I was in heaven! That is until the door slightly creaked open. In the doorway stood my 15-year-old third cousin, Tanner, the boy who had been my incest eye candy ever since we were a little younger. See, I knew I was different when I was younger but I thought that it would change. I like girls but I like guys too, okay, well I like guys a lot. I had fooled around with some guys from school but nothing too serious and I had of course fooled around with some girls. I quickly found out that guys were better at everything that involved foreplay. Tanner is about my height but a little skinnier but way more athletic. Every time he is around, my cock jumps in my jeans. His blue eyes would just gleam at me and make me want to ravish him right there. His dark brown hair that looked like it was perfectly razored and it just made him look even cuter with his perfect baby face. I had never seen him without a shirt on but I knew that his tummy pooched out and his nipples were quite large. I think I'm too analytical but I think it pays off when I'm alone in my room. His ass, oh my god! His ass looked so perfect whenever I would look at it. I always love it when he wears sweat pants or gym shorts because it makes his ass look more desirable. He quietly walked over to the bed that I was so comfortable in and gently shook me, "You asleep?" The sound of his voice just got me turned on. "No, I was just lying here." I looked up at him and he was smiling. He had just gotten his braces off and his teeth were perfect. "Oh, well we're about to go play some football." He showed me the football he had in his left hand. "Noooo!" I grunted hiding my face into the bed. "Dude! Why not? You pussy!" He laughed and gently sat down on the bed. "I just ate and I'm really not in the mood for a football game! Last time we played you totally took me down!" I gave him an evil look at that point. "God you're such a wuss! Get up and lets play!" He quickly jumped off the bed and stood up. "Ngggh!" I gently rose up off the bed and stood facing him, "No!" "Shew! Well, we won't have enough players then." He looked a little disappointed but when I say "NO!" I normally mean it. "Sorry dude, just not in a football playing mood today." I shoved my hands in my pockets and then looked in the mirror directly behind him. His ass looked very yummy today. "Well, I'll just like, not play or something. We'll hang out." He smiled at me again. "Play if you want to man, just get someone to be all time quarterback or something." I quickly shifted myself so that my semi wasn't so visible. "Nah, you look kind of bored, so we'll be bored together." Just then I noticed him look down at my crotch region. I looked at him for a second not sure what he was doing. "Hey! I'm up here." I quickly adjusted myself so that my cock was running down the side of my leg a little more. He quickly snapped out of the gaze, "Oh uh...sorry, I must have zoned out or something." His face was getting very red. "Suuure..." I let one of my eyebrows rise to show that I didn't totally believe him. "Well, uh, um...I'm going to give the football to Coty, I'll be right back." He quickly turned around and walked out, which gave me enough time to go relieve my bladder and maybe get rid of the serious semi that I had going. As soon as I came out of the bathroom, he was sitting on the side of the bed playing with his cell phone. Tanner looked up at me and just smiled as I walked in front of him. "So, what are we doing? Did you bring your X-box?" I put my hands in my pockets and fiddled with my limp member. He put his cell phone away quickly and spoke, "Um, yeah but I think someone else is playing it, do you just wanna watch TV or something, if you want to that is. We haven't hung out in a while and I thought we could just chill or something." Tanner and I had never really spent that much time together. Granted we would hang out whenever we got the chance and we always talked at school but I never knew that he actually would want to "chill" with me. "Sure, if you want. Do you want me to close the door?" I quickly walked over to the white door and began to shut it. "Yeah." He smiled and reached over to grab the remote. He flipped on the TV and lay down on his tummy. At this point I started to lock the door. "Uh, why are you locking the door?" He looked away from the TV for a minute. "I don't know, I just thought that you might not want anyone barging in here. I'll unlock it if you want..." I waited for a reply. God! He looked so cute lying on the bed. "Nah, come on." "Okay..." I smiled at him and made my way to the other side of the bed and plopped down. I looked down at my hands and began to fidget quite a bit. "You seem nervous, you okay?" He put a hand on my back and gave me one of those "I think you're weird" smiles. "Yeah...just feeling a little funny." I gave a retarded smirk and just glared at the television. "I know this is kind of weird but do you think that you could give me a massage? I'm kinda sore from baseball practice." My heart leaped at this question. I have given him a couple of massages before but I had never actually felt this way. I know I had boned up a few times but I never had these weird butterflies. "Uh, um, sure...I guess I could do that for ya." I quickly maneuvered my legs so that they were positioned Indian style. I gently placed my fingers on his back and pressed into his sore muscles. His loud moan told me that I was doing it right. I quickly went to the small of his back and then back up to his neck. My fingers worked and worked as I looked at his bubbly ass. Yet again, I felt my cock start to rise. I continued to the bottom of his back where it met his ass and massaged there for a minute. He giggled a bit and just pushed his hips into the bed. I felt all of the blood rush to my face as I massaged his athletic backside. Wow, I had never felt this way before. I was getting cold chills but I was hot as hell! The butterflies were getting worse and it felt like I might throw up at any minute. I looked down at his face to see that his eyes were staring up at me and a little smile had spread across his face. He placed his hand on my back again and gently rubbed. Our position was pretty awkward because I was sitting Indian style while he was lying down and my knees were poking him in the ribs. Needless to say my legs were getting very crampy. "Hey, is it okay if you sit up so I can massage you better? My legs are killing me." I stopped for a second. "Yeah it's fine." With that, he gently repositioned himself. My aching legs were now stretched out beside his and he was sitting between my legs. I noticed that this might not be the best position if someone were to just happen to walk in. I wanted to change the position again but I didn't want to ruin the moment. I could now smell the sweet scent of his hair, his laundry detergent, pretty much everything! I was in heaven but at the same time I felt bad. As soon as I started touching him, he shifted again but this time he laid back completely and put his head on my shoulder. I was in shock! I wanted to say something so bad but I could barely swallow, let alone speak! I managed a low whimper but he just looked at me and smiled. He took my hands and put them on his tummy and I almost passed out. I felt his tummy for the first time and I just closed my eyes. I finally snapped out of it and decided that I should make the next move. I gently wrapped my arms around him further and held him close. I looked down at him and he was looking back up at me, smiling. His blue eyes, ohhh his blue eyes were gleaming. I started gently rubbing his sides. He smiled again and then shifted up a little more, his eyes still looking into mine. For some reason, it looked as if his face were getting closer to mine. I wasn't sure if it was just me or if it was actually coming true! I tried to look away but I couldn't. Just then I felt his soft lips gently touch mine and I closed my eyes. I felt his lips gently open and I let mine do the same. His lips tasted so sweet and they were so warm on mine. We ended it with a very low smack. His head went right back to my shoulder. "Oh shit! I just kissed my cousin!" I thought. I was panicky but I was on top of the world at the same time. It was time to speak up. "T-tanner, um, what just happened?" My voice had gotten pretty hoarse. He looked at me and smiled again, "This..." with that he leaned up and kissed me again but this time it was longer. His eyes were still closed when he pulled away but when he opened them, he looked kind of dreamy. Wow, I never realized how much I wanted to do that. I wanted to taste him again so I decided to go for it. I gently put my hand on his face and positioned his face back toward mine and I kissed him again. I moved my hands back up to his tummy and started to rub gently as we kissed. His hands quickly embraced mine and grasped at them, our fingers finally starting to entwine. I felt his warm tongue slowly enter my mouth, at first I was shocked and I wanted him to take it out but I realized how much I liked it being in there, as weird as it sounds. Our kiss finally ended with us just looking into each other's eyes. I definitely couldn't say anything and I really didn't expect him to be able to say anything. Our hands were still entwined and I still felt as if my face were getting ready to explode. I bit my lip and looked away. "I, um, I think I had better go." Tanner looked like he was going to cry. I had no clue what to do! I gently pulled my hands away from his this time. "Okay..." I was hoarse and it was all I could muster. My heart sank as I watched him gently get up from our comfortable position. He looked at me and turned around. "Ta-Tanner, don't go." My voice was trembling and I felt so scared of what had just happened. Guilt had nestled at the pit of my stomach where the butterflies once were. Through the light from the television, I could see that his face was flushed and I could see him nibbling away at his bottom lip, then it quivered "GET UP!" My thoughts yelled at me, "GO GET HIM! DON'T LET HIM LEAVE!" My stomach was rolling as I scooted off of the bed. The next thing I knew I was standing in front of him. "Alex, I'm sorry." The poor guy let his head drop and I heard him sniffle a bit. He turned and started to leave but I grabbed him and pulled him into me. "Why?" I put my fingers under his chin and lifted his head up. He tried to look away but I pulled his face back toward mine. "I just kissed you..." "Yeah and I kissed you back." I let my hand fall away from his chin only to grab his hand again. With that, I gently kissed his soft, boy-like cheeks. His arms extended and they embraced me. His soft body collapsed against mine, so I let mine do the same. Those butterflies were back again, thank god! "So what does this mean?" I asked him as I rubbed his back. "It, uh" He hesitated, "It means that I'm in love with my cousin." I felt his body tremble. I felt my heart leap, how could it be love? I had never been in love before! I had a few girls fall in love with me, which sounds really cocky but it's true! Love was something that I had never really wanted to experience. I had seen it ruin too many things in life, one being the death of one of my good friends, and the destruction of my mother and father's marriage. My throat was clogged again, "I-is that even possible?" I couldn't believe I had said that. I wanted to say "I love you too" but I was now a "kissing cousin" and that freaked me out. "I think it is..." This now comfortable position was now becoming a death grip situation. Tanner's stronghold on me only got stronger and tighter but I found it to be quite comforting. "Tanner, I'm not sure what love is and I don't really want to be in love." I felt my heart sink as these words escaped my lips. I felt a violent shudder surge throughout his body. "But you kissed me..." He looked up at me, tears flowing down his cheeks. My stomach was definitely hurting now. "Tanner, we're cousins. We can't love each other." I let go of him and walked over to the bed and sat down. I resorted to putting my head in my hands. I heard him walk over to me and I felt a hand on my shoulder. A warm feeling came over my body as Tanner wrapped his arms around me and hugged me. "Alex, we can make it work. I really do love you." His warm breath flowed into my ear and gave me cold chills as he whispered. His words penetrated me like knives. It hurt that I couldn't tell him that I loved him. We had known each other all of our lives and I had always wanted something like this to happen but I didn't know how to react. Love is such a big word and not meaning it could mean dire consequences. His soft hands gently moved my hands from my face and replaced them with his fingers, entwining them. His soft gaze, so understanding yet so full of passion, were wandering about my eyes, trying to get a small glimpse of hope. "Alex, look at me." He took one of his hands and made me look him in the eyes, "If I can't have you then I don't want anyone." A small tear escaped his eyes, which in return made me get hit by a pang of guilt. His hands went back to the back of my neck and pulled me forward for a kiss. "Tanner..." was all I could say before he kissed me. Again and again, our lips met. I was finally on top of him between his legs with my arms beside of his head. His tongue gently probed mine with each sensual kiss. His hands rubbed down my back and made their way up my shirt as our lips smacked together. He broke our kiss for a second, "Alex, uh, will you make love to me?" His eyes gazed into mine with complete love and complete trust. I felt my already hard cock get even harder, "Tanner, I think that's taking it too far..." What was I saying? Of course I wanted to make love to him! My conscious was fucking things up for me biiiig time! "There is no other person I want to do this with and I know you want it to." Oh boy was he right! He had a great way with words, words that hurt basically. I felt his left hand move off of my back only to move under us so he could gently push it into my jeans. I gasped as I felt his warm hand grab my cock, which had snaked its way down my leg. His eyes widened as he felt my 7-inch cock. I'm also very thick which helped my cock fit perfectly in his hand. I felt his lips against mine and then I felt his tongue protrude into my mouth. I moaned as his hand squeezed my cock. I had to break away, "Tanner, we can't do it here." I tried to roll off of him. He had other plans. He quickly rolled over top of me and straddled me, "You know you want it Alex." His lips touched mine again. His aggressive actions were kind of scaring me. I finally got a little more assertive and pushed him off of me onto the bed, his eyes full of confusion. I quickly stood up, my cock making a large tent in my jeans, "Dude seriously, I don't want to do this right now." My face was red from all the "sexiness." The kid was pretty much begging me to fuck him but I couldn't. I wasn't exactly a virgin when it came to guys or girls. I didn't even know if I liked guys more or girls more. My normal brain was telling me to get the hell out of there before I did something that I regretted but of course the other brain told me to find a warm, wet, tight cave to put him in. "Alex, please?" His little red lips pouted out which made me want to jump on him and make sweet, sweet love to his cute ass. My cock was straining even harder in my jeans. "Tanner, it's not right. I can't do it..." I just stared at the floor; I couldn't even look at him. His pause told me that he was pretty much pissed but what was I to do? I didn't feel right in this situation. He's MY cousin! I'm not some kind of pervert that has sex with his family...but this seemed different. I couldn't really comprehend anything else so I just let him go. I finally stood up, my legs felt like jello and my head pounded like I had got drunk the night before. I turned off the television and walked out into the hallway, almost getting hit by one of the many baby cousins that were running around. Everything was blurry and I could tell that my face was very red, so I just decided to go home. Making my way down the stairs to find my Mom could have been a lot less difficult, everyone wanted to talk to me but I just smiled, walked away and nodded until I found her. "Mom..." She ignored me as she talked to her sister that had flown in from Florida. "MOM! I'm leaving..." The roar of my family just got a little louder and it was kind of pissing me off, I saw Tanner eyeing me as he ate another piece of pie...he looked very blank. Finally, I just decided to do something that would definitely catch her attention. I cupped my hand, pulled it behind me and smacked her straight on the ass. Her figure, which I might add is very nice for a thirty-five year old, leaped forward. "What the he..." Before she could finish, I just spoke...being as rude as I could. "I'm leaving, I don't feel good." Her face was red with embarrassment as many of my aunts, uncles and even Tanner started to laugh a little. See, my Mom and my Dad are pretty wealthy and I pretty much always get what I want, when I want it. They married their sophomore year of college and had me when they were juniors. My mom graduated with her PH.D and became a pediatrician and my dad became a lawyer...so you can just imagine how happy I am on my birthday and Christmas. Anyway, I just walked out of my great grandfather's house and made my way to my car, my baby. A 2007, Red Dodge Neon, which I got for my birthday this year. I had already broken in the backseat as well as the hood and the front seat. I sound like a whore but it was with the same guy and the same girl but not at the same time. One my way home, I couldn't help but think of what Tanner was wanting out of me. It seemed so odd and out of the ordinary of him. I actually always thought he was straight because he had girls flocking all over him and he has always been a player. Maybe he was just curious but all I wanted to do was go home and go to bed. I live about seven or so miles from my great grandpas ranch house, so it's not too unbearable. The scenery is pretty nice...it's just that I wasn't in the mood to admire it. Finally, I reached my nice subdivision and pulled into the driveway. I watched carefully as I pulled into my garage, cut off the engine, and made my way into my basement, up the first flight of stairs, then the second and the third. I pretty much had the whole third floor to myself. I had wanted the basement but my dad needed one part of it to be his office and my mom wanted part of it to be her workout room...but whatever. Collapsing on my bed, I could only think about the way Tanner had reacted to me not wanting to have sex with him. Maybe it was the fact that he wanted me to tell him that I loved him...but I couldn't. Gah! It was so damn weird just the way he had wanted it so badly. Fuck it, I thought. I'll just sleep and I'll deal with it some other time. With that, I closed my eyes and studied my eyelids until the morning. I slowly made my way into the school, pretty much grunting with every step. For some reason, I was very tired and felt really drained. "The day will be over soon..." I mumbled as I checked my reflection in the glass door. Just for detail purposes, I was wearing a red polo that fit kind of tight and jeans that were straight leg and kind of dark. My hair was looking kind of messy but it still looked pretty good. Anyway, I crept down the hallway saying hi to many of the people that walked passed me. Keeping my head down as I walked, I didn't notice that I was coming up to Tanner and his group of friends. The first thing I noticed was that he had his arms wrapped around this really pretty blonde, Kenzie, I think is her name. She was chatting away with all of her friends as Tanner just looked at me and smiled. The next thing I saw was Tanner's best friend, Grant, just looking at the ground pitifully. The boy is GOREGEOUS; short wavy brown hair, a body much like Tanners but with darker skin, green eyes, and a cute little bubble butt. His smile got a little wider as I approached his little group of friends so I just decided to talk to them. "Hey Tanner..." I watched as his cheeks turned a little crimson and he quickly released his girlfriend. "Why'd you leave so quick yesterday?" Grant quickly looked up and saw us talking and then his cheeks flushed a little, what the fuck was going on I thought. "I got sick..." I couldn't help but notice that MY cheeks were getting red and I never got embarrassed! "Oh, well that sucks. You should have stayed." He let his eyes wonder to my crotch area and gulped. It didn't help that his girlfriend's ass was right on his crotch. I noticed her look startled for a moment but then she looked back and smiled at him. I couldn't help but giggle a little bit. "Yeah, but I'm gonna go and..." I paused for a second as I noticed Grant doing the same thing, "Do some things for my English class...uhum." I grabbed the shoulder straps of my backpack, turned and walked away slowly. Noticing the butterflies as I walked away, I got a little scared. I DID have feelings for my cousin and I felt so disgusting. As I entered my Advanced English class, I couldn't help but think of Tanner being wrapped up in my arms. The thoughts of us holding hands, gently kissing, nuzzling our noses and I even pictured us having sex. I gently gave my cock a gentle squeeze because it had snaked its way down my leg. Oh boyyy, I thought. Finally, the day was over and I was tired as hell. Completing two tests, a research paper and a lab report can be pretty stressful on a teen but oh well. I quickly said goodbye to all the friends that I could and started to make my way out of the building. Rounding a corner, I was face-to-face with Tanner. The impact wasn't too bad but we both fell on our asses. "Ahh, shit!" I exclaimed as my ass-bone hit the floor. I expected Tanner to be in the same position but he was standing perfectly. "You okay?" He offered me his hand, which I quickly obliged to take. "...Yeah...thanks for that." My response was pretty meek. "Sorry, I'm glad I ran into you though." I was now back on my feet and staring him dead in the eye. Those eyes would make anyone's heart melt. "My ass isn't happy about you running into me..." Without knowing, I had found myself rubbing my ass, which was throbbing in pain. Tanner let out a small giggle, "I was wondering...um, can you take me home? I forgot that we don't have baseball practice today." I felt my stomach pang with excitement. "Yeah!" I noticed how excited I had sounded. His eyes lit up though and it was really cute. "Thanks a bunch, I forgot my cell too so I can't call Mom." He was smiling from ear to ear. He looked so adorable. His tummy was pooching out a little in the grey shirt he was wearing and the jeans fit perfect, showing off his cute thighs. He looked kind of tired but of course that made me want to just wrap him up in my arms even more. "Well, should we go now?" I felt slightly awkward because I noticed that I had been staring at him. His face started turning crimson again and he started to fidget quite a bit. He quickly grabbed his backpack and started out the door. I couldn't help but watch his bubble butt wobble as we made our way out to my car. "I'm sorry about yesterday..." The words suddenly filled my ears. He had no reason to be sorry, I was the one that should've been apologizing but I like playing hard to get I guess. I swallowed hard before I began to speak, "I-it's okay, it was just sort of weird." My hands trembled as I stuck my key in the ignition (no pun intended). "I meant almost everything I said though, except for the part about if I can't have you then I don't want anyone. I think I exaggerated a little bit" A small smirked molded his lips. I felt a lot calmer about everything than I had the previous night but I was still afraid of loving a family member like that, "Well, I meant everything too. I don't think I can love you like that." Again, my stomach sank as the words fell from my lips. "But you admit that you're gay though, right?" Again, he felt the need to smile. "No, not completely. I like girls too, Tanner. I'm just like you." My focus on the road was hindered. "If you were like me then you would be gay. I'm just dating Kenzie so everyone will think I'm straight." "Well, that's cool I guess." Wow, is there a gay gene or something? Tanner had propped up his elbow on the panel of the door and was staring out the window. He looked really cute and it was hard not to stare at him. He was perfect to me and I didn't exactly understand why. Just the way his eyes glistened in the sunlight made my tummy tingle. "Why can't you accept the fact that we need to be together?" Tanner's voice suddenly broke my concentration. "Wh-what are you talking about? I don't want to be with you." I felt myself getting angry for no reason what so ever, "Can't you accept the fact that I don't want anything to do with you like that?" My voice was getting louder and my face was growing red. I felt tears start to invade my eyes. I didn't notice that Tanner was staring at me in confusion with his mouth dropped open. "I-I..." He couldn't even get a word in. "SHUT UP! Listen to me! I don't want anything like that with you! Stop trying to seduce me and shit because that's how you are. I've heard about all the shit you pulled with Kenzie." Actually I had never heard anything about him and Kenzie but it felt right to say at the time. "Josh, I'm sorry! I didn't think you would react like that..." His voice was cracking and I had realized how bad I had reacted. "Shut the fuck up..." GOD! Why couldn't I just shut the fuck up? I had no idea why I was yelling at him but I just kind of exploded. He sat back in the seat and I heard him sniffle a couple of times before I pulled into his driveway. I wanted to apologize but all I could muster was a cough before he got out of the car slowly and stared at the ground as he walked up the pathway to his house. Words can't describe how bad I felt. If only you could have seen his face and the way he was biting his lip as he fought back his urge to cry. As soon as I started to drive away, I felt as if my stomach were going to explode. I zoned out and suddenly it seemed as if someone else took over the car because I couldn't remember anything when I pulled into my driveway. Walking into my house I didn't want to face anyone, but of course that wouldn't be a problem seeing as my parents were both at work and wouldn't be home until later that night. It was a good thing that no one could see me because my face was blood red, my temper was high and I felt like punching through a wall. I had never been so upset before in my life. I felt something inside of me turn and then I felt the tears stream down my face. "You fucking dumbass!" I screamed out at myself, "You know you fucking love him! Accept it!" I couldn't help but cry and sob as I screamed at myself. Hearing it from my mouth just made it worse. I couldn't believe that I was admitting to loving my cousin. I collapsed on my bed and sobbed into my pillow. I am so glad no one was home because I was crying VERY loud. "Fuck..." was all I could muster as I made my way into my bathroom after about an hour of crying. I knew what I had to do... As I pulled into Tanner's driveway, the butterflies in my stomach had gotten much worse. I had refixed my hair, put on some really good smelling cologne and had decided that I needed to tell him everything. Nervously, I stumbled to the front door, rang the doorbell and waited for an answer. Tanner's mom, Jennifer, was beautiful. Short blonde hair, tall, in good shape. I know where Tanner got his good looks. It was really cool because my mom and his mom work together at the hospital. "Hey Josh, I guess Tanner was expecting you?" She was all smiles. I tried my best to act normal, "Actually no, I just decided to stop by for a minute." I had hoped I wasn't being too rude. "Well okay, he's in his room. I'm leaving so you two behave!" They had recently moved and the house smelled so good. Like with all things are new, it just had a distinctive smell. I made my way up the stairs, slowly I might add. I heard some commotion coming from inside the room but I figured that the television was on a little too loud. I turned the doorknob, pushed and slowly stepped in the room just in case he had decided to throw something at me. I felt my heart sink as I watched someone else on top of Tanner slowly kissing him. The brown wavy haired guy was on top of him and slowly kissing him, passionately, the way I should be kissing him. I didn't mean to make any noise and I thought I could leave without disturbing anything but I backed into the door, causing it to shut violently. When I saw who it was, I was in complete shock. It was Grant! I had no idea that he was gay at all! He had girls hanging all over him too. "HOLY SHIT!" I heard him yell as he fell off of the bed. "J-Josh what're you doing here?" Tanner scrambled to put his jeans and his shirt back on. "I...I..." No words would come out, only stuttering. My heart was broken and it had to be broken by Tanner's best friend. I could barely comprehend what was going on. I didn't WANT to comprehend. I felt the tears start to flow and I just opened the door and walked out. My chest felt like it was caving in. I guess I deserve it though, I was the biggest asshole to him ever and maybe Grant could give him more of what he needed and what he wanted. I made my way down the steps as fast as I could and I kept hearing my name but I wasn't sure if I wanted him to chase after me or if he actually was. I finally made it out to my car when I felt a hand pull me back and spin me around. "What the fuck Josh?" I couldn't look at him... "I-I, gotta go..." I tried to turn around but his grip was too hard on my shoulder. "No you don't, talk to me." His voice was soft and he even sounded forgiving. I still didn't want to face him though. "I came to tell you that I love you..." I blurted out and then started toward my car again. He was too fast and he grabbed my shoulder and spun me around again. "After what all you said in the car, you tell me that you love me now?" His voice was getting shaky again. "Yeah, when I got home I realized that I was afraid and scared and I wanted to be with you even if you are my cousin." My face was growing hot. He licked his lips and smiled, a tear ran down his cheek, "All the things you said hurt pretty bad, especially when you told me to shut the fuck up." "I didn't mea-." Was all I could get out before he started to talk. "I've already forgiven you." He got as close as possible before he slowly leaned in and kissed me. My hands immediately found his face as my lips slowly parted to meet his. Suddenly, I saw a huge flash of light and a huge pain in my tummy, something I had never felt before. I heard him groan once and then I followed. We slowly backed away from one another. That kiss wasn't like the one we shared while we were at my great grandpas house. This one was way more affectionate and it felt a lot different. "Wow..." was all he could say. "Uh...Grant...uh...here." Man, I had never felt so stupid. Tanner smiled at my incompetent statement, "Let's go inside and I'll explain, okay?" He reached for my hand and grabbed it, slowly pulling me back inside and upstairs to his room. Grant was sitting on the bed with his arms crossed watching television. "Hey Josh, sorry about freaking out like that." "It's okay," I quickly turned to Tanner, "What's going on?" Tanner sighed, "Sit down and we'll both explain." This is my second story so I hope you all enjoy it. Comments are welcome. Poeticjustice_14@yahoo.com for any feedback.