Date: Sat, 13 Jan 2001 23:11:31 -0000 From: Ardveche Subject: New to this State (Part 14) FREE AT LAST! ============= At long last, the final chapter. One last time, I want to thank everyone who has been reading this and my other stories for all their support. This has been the hardest one to write, and I'm not wildly happy with it, but it has to end. I hope you like it. I have nothing more to say, so read on! DISCLAIMER ========== This is a work of fiction; any resemblance to persons living or dead is entirely coincidental. The author asserts all legal and moral rights (copyright (c) 2000 - ardveche@hotmail.com) to this work and you may not copy it or transmit it in any way except in its entirety and with this disclaimer. This story features descriptions of sex between consenting (all over the legal age, at least in my jurisdiction they are) males: - if such material is prohibited in your jurisdiction, please DO NOT READ ON, - if you're under the legal age to read such material, please DO NOT READ ON, - if you don't like, or are offended by such material, please DO NOT READ ON. Now, if everyone who is still here is meant to be here, let's get on with it. All comments are welcome and gratefully received (email them to ardveche@hotmail.com or look me up on MSN Messenger). NEW TO THIS STATE ================= Chapter 14 - Conclusion "Well, see you guys around, okay?" Tyler clapped Curtis on the back, causing him to gasp a little, I've been on the receiving end of those 'friendly' pats and they hurt! But in a good way. "Good luck with your mom, Drew." He added, turning to me and indicating my rapidly purpling face. "You want me to stop by later, or something?" He seemed so concerned, I almost said 'yes'. "No. That's okay, we'll be fine." I smiled at him. "Thanks for coming to the rescue, Tyler. And you, Dan, thanks." "No problem, dude. That's what friends are for, besides, Mike's a total asshole." Dan grinned at us. "Anyway, gotta go, see you all around." And off he trotted, presumably he lived somewhere nearby and didn't need a ride from Tyler. Which was a good thing, as it meant everyone who was left could fit in his car and nobody would have to come with Curtis and me. "That was fun." Curtis said as we headed for the car. "You hated every minute. But thanks for trying." I responded. "Okay, you got me. But they're nice people, I just don't fit in is all." "Give it time." "I will. For you." There was no response I could make to that really. "I'm glad you showed up." I said to Curtis as we slid back into his car. My bruises were coming along nicely by the time we got home and there was no possibility of hiding them from my mother. My mind was racing, trying to come up with some plausible story I could tell that would satisfy her curiosity. I was having no luck. "Yeah, me too. Nobody messes with my boyfriend." He joked but it was clear to both of us that what had just happened represented a very real problem and there wasn't always going to be a Tyler and company around to bail me out. "Except you." I commented wryly. "Exactly. Exclusive rights of property." "Property?" I turned to scowl at him and he waggled his eyebrows at me. I couldn't understand why he was so chipper all of a sudden. "Screw you." "Maybe later. So aren't you going to ask why I came to meet you?" "Because you couldn't stand to spend another minute without me?" I said wearily. "Something like that. Lois and me did some house-hunting today." "What?" I was shocked. Sure we'd all talked about him moving out, but this was ridiculously fast. Only yesterday he'd been complaining about not feeling one hundred percent and here he was telling me he was ready to go. "I think you heard me." He replied evenly, eyes on the road. "So what are you saying?" "I'm saying," He sighed heavily, "that I'm moving into my own place." "I know that, you asshole. I want to know when." "Thursday." And with that one word, my life suddenly seemed so bleak and desolate, I could think of nothing to say. It would mean I had known Curtis for exactly one week - and then he'd be gone. He turned and smiled at me, obviously pleased with himself and this little demonstration of his ability to stand on his own two feet. Then he saw my face and his smile faded. "What's wrong?" His voice radiated concern. "Why Thursday? Why so soon?" I was almost crying - this had come as a real shock to me, even though I had known it had to happen. I was angry with myself for making such an issue of it, but I couldn't seem to control my emotions at all. "Because I don't want to be a burden. And if I had said 'next week' or 'next month' you'd still have said it was too soon." He smiled again, this time gently, perhaps to show that he was flattered by my protestations. He was right, of course, but it still seemed so unfair, things were going much too quickly. "How are you going to pay for it?" "I can get my old job back at the garage, only full time, at least until I find something better. Besides, it's only a small apartment, not exactly a palace, and the roaches'll pay their share." "What about school?" I ignored his attempt at a joke. "What about it?" He shrugged eloquently. "We both know I'm no academic, Drew. If I feel like going back some time in the future, there's always night classes or whatever." "Seems like you've got it all figured out." I made no effort to disguise the anger in my voice and he flinched slightly. "I've done a lot of thinking in the last few days." Another smile. "And this seems the best way - plus I thought we agreed it would be easier to be together if I had my own place?" "You agreed." I answered huffily, gazing out the side window. "You were there too." He reminded me. "And anyway, it's only for a few months. Then you'll be looking for somewhere together. Right?" Now I admit that I hadn't really thought of that. I guess we would at that. School would be over, I'd have to get a summer job until College started, and I would be over eighteen by then - so I could do what I wanted. For the first time, I began to see the silver lining on this particularly obstinate cloud. "I guess." I tried to smile back, and failed. "So, what're you going to tell your mom about that bruise, champ?" He asked, pushing my head playfully with a clenched fist and grinning like an idiot. "I don't know. I'm thinking, maybe, the truth?" What was I saying? "Painful. But maybe for the best?" Why were we both sounding so hesitant? My mom had done so much in the last week to convince me that she wasn't an ogre, but even so it was a daunting prospect, I had no idea how I would get round to the topic. "Yeah." We both lapsed into silence for the rest of the journey. When we finally pulled into the drive I was no closer to having an argument ready for my mom, despite having run about a dozen possible ones through my brain. There was no good way to put it. Why do we have to make this so hard? You'd think I was about to tell her I killed a man, where all I was going to do was say that some guy with a quarter inch of brain took exception to me because I like Curtis. A lot. "Well, here goes." We trooped into the kitchen together. "What on earth happened to you?" My mother demanded immediately, springing from her chair and coming towards us, I fended her off weakly. "I'm fine, mom." "You are not fine, you've been fighting. What happened?" She demanded turning to glare at Curtis. "Um..." He started, his eyes flicking back and forth between my mother and me. I was unable to really offer moral support, so I came to the rescue instead. "Leave Curtis alone, mom, it was nothing to do with him. In fact, he was the one who stopped the fight." I couldn't help but notice that for all her protestations about coming to like the boy, she still assumed any trouble I was in would naturally have stemmed from him. "So who were you fighting?" She grudgingly resumed her seat. "A guy named Mike and a gang of his lowlife friends." I supplied, getting myself a glass of water, more for the sake of something to do than because I was thirsty. "Why?" "Mom, I'd really rather not talk about this." I whined, suddenly unable to go through with it and tell her what had happened - and why! "Tough." There was no way I was getting out of it. "Curtis, would you mind leaving us alone for a minute?" I asked him with a sigh. He looked at me for a moment, a slightly hurt expression on his face, then he smiled, nodded once and skulked from the room. "I'm waiting, Andrew." I pulled a chair back and took a seat opposite my mother at the table, clasping my hands together in front of me. I focused on the pattern of lines and knots in the wood and took a deep breath. When I looked up, my mom's eyes were fixed on me, an impatient look on her face, her lips pursed. Waiting. I began hesitantly. "It's kinda complicated..." "I have time. Talk." "Okay. Well, you know why Curtis and his father had that fight?" This seemed like a good opener, as it dealt with an established fact, Curtis's sexuality, and allowed me to lead into the real meat of the situation. That is, in theory it did. "Yes." "Okay. You have to promise to listen to me, and not get mad, okay?" I was stalling, and we both knew it. "Well, there's this guy, Mike, and he started hassling me this morning at school, but Brian came along and he stopped him. I knew it wasn't over though, he wanted to make his point, so he jumped me after school. Tyler and Curtis came to the rescue. Nothing more to tell." I shrugged, and waited for the inevitable questioning, feeling like a total wuss for not telling her everything. I just couldn't, how do you tell your mother you're gay? "Why was he hassling you? Because Curtis is gay?" "Partly." I sighed heavily. "And?" My mother continued to look straight at me, and I squirmed in my seat under her steady gaze. "You're not going to like it." I mumbled. "Better get it over with then." "And I don't want you to blame Curtis, because it's not his fault." I paused to consider this and decided I was being defensive, before I'd even said anything I was trying to explain it all away. "It's not anyone's 'fault', really." "Andrew, get to the point, I'm not blaming anyone. But you have to admit, there's been nothing but trouble since you met Curtis. And we could do without any more trouble right now." My mother had dealt with my excuses before, and knew left to it I would rattle on about all sorts of inconsequential nonsense rather than tell her what was actually going on. I took a deep breath. "I like Curtis." "I know, Andrew." "No. I don't think you do. I like him a lot." Before my mother could start to talk again, I pressed on. "And Mike saw us together at the lake on Sunday." "And that's why he was hassling you? Because he saw you with Curtis?" I nodded. "And he knows Curtis is gay." She stated it as a fact, and a look of understanding spread across her face. "So you were defending him." "No. He didn't know anything about Curtis." She had got the wrong end of the stick entirely. "Then I don't understand what he has against you." She was getting exasperated. "Andrew, whatever the problem is, please tell me." I balled up my courage, and looking my mother in the eye I tried again. "Mike didn't know anything about Curtis. Until Sunday. When he saw us together." "Together?" "Yes." "What are you telling me, Andrew?" "That I like Curtis." I stated simply, going back to where we had started. It was clear that my mother now knew what I was talking about, but was hoping that there might be some other explanation which would fit what I was dodging around. She put her hands over her face and pushed them slowly up and through her hair. "What did he do to you?" Her voice was even and measured, her emotions struggling to gain control. "Do to me?" I was appalled. "He didn't "do" anything to me! What is wrong with you?" I practically shouted. "Don't speak to me like that!" Tempers were fraying. "Well don't talk about him as though he's some sort of criminal!" "He must have done something, you weren't like this before you met him." She stated flatly, I pushed my chair back angrily and walked away from the table, turning to throw my response back at my mother with as much vehemence as I could muster. "Like this? Yes I was, I just didn't tell you, because I knew you'd react like this. Like it was wrong. Like there was something wrong with me. Well there isn't! And I can't stand it anymore. I can't stand lying and pretending to be something I'm not. I'm perfectly normal. And my feelings for Curtis are perfectly normal too! I love him! And I don't care what you think." There, everything was out in the open, I paused to catch my breath, and the kitchen door opened and Curtis came in. "I heard shouting." He said looking from one of us to the other. "Are you okay?" his attention focused completely on me. "Yes." My voice was barely a whisper, and I realized that tears were running down my face. My fists were clenched so tightly that my fingernails were nearly drawing blood from the palms. Curtis did not look convinced, and ignoring my mother completely, he walked over to me and put a hand on my shoulder. I was shaking, and a look of concern crossed his face. Suddenly, I broke down completely and began to sob great gasping sobs of anguish as I clung to him. Everything else faded out of existence, and for me the universe consisted of a great emptiness with just me and the solid, fixed point that was Curtis. I was led to the table and lowered into a seat. From a million miles away I became aware of my mother's voice saying over and over that she was sorry. She was crying too, and that stunned me, I had never known my mother cry over anything. It wrenched at my heart, that it was me who was causing her tears amid all the other things she had to deal with, I knew it had been a mistake to tell her. My head was swimming in blackness, I couldn't focus and I couldn't catch my breath. The panic lasted for what seemed like forever, but eventually the sensation of Curtis's hand on my back and his voice, strained with concern, centered me and I began to regain control. When I opened my eyes it was to see Curtis and my mother on either side of me and Lois, who had arrived without my knowing it, rummaging through her first aid kit. I motioned them all away from me and said I was okay. "Oh, Andrew. I'm so sorry." My mother's makeup had run from around her eyes, and she looked older than I ever remember. The reassuring warmth of Curtis's hand on my back never moved and I think it was that which gave me the strength to speak. "It's not me you need to tell that." My voice was surprisingly strong. "Drew, it's okay..." Curtis began quietly. "No. She owes you an apology." I cut him off. She had said some pretty hateful things about him and I wanted her to apologize to him. "Andrew's right Curtis." My mother began. "Mrs. Quinn, it's okay, really. You were upset, forget about it." He seemed as ill at ease suddenly as he had that first day when Lois had ordered him to take his shirt off. Despite the seriousness of the situation, I could not restrain a laugh at the memory, and once I had started I found it hard to stop. When I did, tears streaming down my face anew, they were all looking at me oddly, but they all had faint smiles. Once again I had shown myself to be a lunatic, but of the happy kind. "Why don't we all calm down, have a cup of tea, and discuss this like adults?" Lois, the calm voice of reason, began to take charge of the situation. Curtis fussed around me, getting me a handkerchief and making sure I was myself again while the tea was made. Eventually, the four of us were sitting around the table, and a tense silence began. Curtis took my hand beneath the table and gave it a comforting squeeze. My mother watched all of this with an utterly unreadable expression on her face. "Margaret, perhaps you should start?" Lois took a sip of tea and waited. "Curtis..." My mother paused and her gaze flicked to me, then her words came out in a rush. "Andrew's right, I do owe you apology. I said things which should not have been said, which are not true, and for which I hope you can forgive me. I'm sorry." "S'okay. Forget it." Curtis's discomfort with the situation was palpable, he looked down at the table, his hair hanging across his face. I got the feeling that the strong grip on my hand was as much to reassure him as it was me. "Okay. Now, Drew, why don't you go next." Lois continued. "I'm sorry I yelled, mom." "Me too." "Good. Now if we're all friends again, and the shouting is over, perhaps we can continue this discussion without playing the blame game? Hmm?" Lois's tone was light, but it was clear that she had been annoyed, whether by me or by my mother I didn't know. And I suspect it didn't much matter. Nobody answered her. "I'll take silence as assent, then. Now, Drew, you and Curtis have a lot to tell your mother, to bring her up to speed. And, Margaret, I know you're going to have a lot of questions. But let's all try to keep it civilized." She turned and looked expectantly at me. "Curtis and me..." I looked at him for moral support and he favored me with a small smile. "Curtis and me, want to be together." There I had said it. He squeezed my hand more tightly and nodded his agreement, but his gaze only flicked away from mine for a second. "I see." My mother replied. "And you knew about this?" She asked Lois, ignoring the two of us for the time being. This was not how I had expected things to go. "Yes. But it was for Andrew to tell you, not me." Lois sipped her tea primly. "And I'm sure he would, if the fight hadn't forced his hand." "Margaret, don't use that tone." "How long have you felt like this?" My mother pointedly ignored HER mother's rebuke and turned her attention back to me. "Huh? Um, since last Thursday?" It seemed the obvious answer, as that's when I had met him. Then it occurred to me that possibly my mother was asking a different question. "Oh, right, I see. I guess I pretty much always knew, you know?" This was basically the truth, ever since I had sexual thoughts they involved other boys, but I had never acted on any of them until Josh (barring the brush with Aaron). And that was less me acting than it was him, so really the only person I had ever been with was Curtis. Not that that made me in any way unsure of what I wanted. "Why didn't you talk to me?" My mother wanted to know. I sighed, and was about to answer that I had known she would react badly. "That school must have been hell for you. But your father insisted... I'm so sorry, Andrew." I was completely taken aback, I turned to Lois as though she might offer some kind of guidance on how to proceed, and to check that I'd heard what I thought I had. "I told you your mother wasn't a monster." She said and smiled at her daughter and patted her hand. "Oh, thanks a lot, mother!" My mom's head snapped back up and she fixed Lois with a hard gaze. The tone she used was so like the one I use when speaking to her, that I had to laugh. It's true that there's nothing new under the sun. I was treated to a withering look from my mother. "Mom..." I started to say, but didn't know where to go from there. What could I say? "Mom, I love Curtis, and I know it's maybe not your ideal situation, but there's nothing I can do about it. Even if I wanted to, which I don't." I turned to look at my boyfriend, who's eyes still had not left me. "He's the most wonderful person I've ever met, and he means the world to me. And you said yourself I had started to open up as a person since I met him." I love throwing things my mother has said back at her! "That's because, for the first time, I have someone I can talk to about what I'm feeling, and who feels the same way as me. And I want to be with him." I halted my little speech, for lack of anything to say. Curtis's face was a mixture of emotions, practically unreadable, as was my mother's. But he had gone a very deep red. "And you, Curtis, you're not saying much, how do you feel?" Curtis looked suddenly like a deer caught in headlights. Never the most eloquent person, he was being asked to tell his innermost thoughts to all of us. The voice which answered was hesitant, but soon gained confidence as he met my mother's stare and faced her down. "Mrs. Quinn, um, that's pretty much it. Um, yes, I love Drew very much. You have a wonderful person for a son, and I'm lucky to have met him and to have become close to him. He's been wonderful for me, I've never felt so complete as I do with him." "I can see from the way that you look at each other that you have strong feelings for one another, that you care about one another. But, Andrew, you're still very young. Can you be so sure that this is right, this is what you want?" My mother radiated concern. "Yes!" I was emphatic about it. I have never been more sure of anything in my life. She continued to look at me for a long time, but I didn't squirm or look away. Finally she dropped her gaze and sighed, all the strength seemed to go out of her. "Well, this may not be what I would have hoped for. But if you're happy, I guess that's the only thing that matters." She turned her attention away from me. "Curtis, Lois tells me you found an apartment today?" "Yes. I move in Thursday." "Yes, I think that will be for the best. And I also think you two should cool off a little. I don't know what's gone on so far, but I can guess, and until you're both eighteen there's to be no more. Understood?" "Mom!" "No. No 'mom', Andrew. Do you understand? I can't stop you and Curtis being together, and if it's what you really want I'm not going to try, but I can try to make sure that you behave responsibly and don't do anything that could get either one of you into trouble. Now, do you understand?" "I guess." I hung my head. She was right of course, but there was no way that having started my relationship with Curtis I was about to stop now, seventeen or otherwise. "Curtis?" My mother, unhappy with just asking me now turned to him. Curtis nodded his agreement with what she was saying. "Okay, I'm willing to trust you, for now, but no sneaking into one another's rooms. And no romantic assignations at the lake, either! I can't stand looking at both of you covered in bruises!" I gaped for a moment, and then joined in with my mother's laughter. As was her way, she had reached a decision and was now going to continue as though nothing had happened at all. It was hard to believe, but the ordeal of discussing my sexuality with her seemed to be over. For now. "And both of you, for God's sake, when you do decide to ignore me, be careful!" "Mom!" I yelped with very real horror in my voice. "Now why don't you get out of the way and let your grandmother and me prepare dinner." It was not a question, so we both rose and headed for the door. "And, boys? You don't need to hang on to one another all the time, you've made your point." Again Curtis blushed and dropped my hand like it was on fire. Everyone laughed once more and we left the room. "Well, that went pretty smoothly." Curtis finally said as we reached the top of the stairs and entered my room. "I guess." I felt suddenly drained. "What's wrong?" "Nothing. So, tell me more about this apartment of yours." "Well, it's down on Richmond Drive?" I shook my head, after all I had only been in town a week. "It's pretty central, only five minutes from the garage. It's small, just one bedroom, bathroom and then one other room that's like kitchen, dining room and everything in one. It needs a bit of work, but I can do most of it myself. And it's partly furnished, so I won't need that much stuff, I can pick things up as I can afford them." "Sounds great." He was really enthusiastic, but my voice belied my words, and I was aware that I was raining on his parade. "Thanks." "I'm sorry, Curtis. I'm happy that you're happy. And you're right, it will be easier with you having your own place, but I was getting used to having you here. You know, just there whenever I wanted you." "Wanted me, huh?" He grinned. "Stop it." I was in no mood for kidding around. "You know what I mean." "This isn't a big town, Drew. God, you could walk down there in ten minutes. And if you borrow the car, you could be there before you're completely hard!" I laughed despite myself. "I'm not talking about sex." "I know. But it's still true. You know? I'm not leaving the country. And you can come over whenever you like, and if you can't face the arduous journey, there's always the 'phone." He had come over, put his hand on my arm and now he kissed me on the cheek. "I know. It's just like your life is moving on. And I'm still here, waiting for mine to get started. You're getting out on your own, without me. You don't need me." "Of course I do! Do you think I don't want to stay here with you? I do, more than anything, but that can't last forever." "I know, I'm being stupid, but I can't help it. I feel left out." He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him. I allowed him to comfort me, but internally I was berating myself for being so pathetic. Still, it was nice to be held by him, especially after the day I had had, an d to enjoy the warmth of his body and the gentle stroking of his fingers through my hair. I sighed and relaxed into his embrace. "You're not being stupid." He kissed the top of my head, and rested his forehead on my shoulder after whispering, "I think it's sweet," in my ear. We stayed like that for a while, in silence, and I gradually relaxed. It gave me time to sort some things out in my head and to put the day's events into perspective. "I love you." I murmured to his chest. "I know." "Could you be any more smug?" I pushed him away and mock punched him. Suddenly I felt much better, more like my old self. "Hey, you can help me move in Thursday." "Try to stop me. I want to make sure the bed's in a good position!" "After school, though." He grinned. "You'll meet me?" "Sure I will." We lurked in my room and watched some TV until my mother called us back down. Well, to be fair we weren't really watching TV. It was on, but our attention was on each other as we sat at the foot of my bed and kissed one another. It felt so good and I knew, as though I hadn't before, that there was no way we were going to do what my mother wanted and lay off until I turned eighteen. No way on God's good green earth! We had a pleasant dinner, everyone chatted away as though nothing had happened. And although it was strained at times, everyone was at pains to show that they were okay with the situation. Afterwards, as usual, Curtis and I cleaned up the kitchen and when we were finished each got a cup of coffee and headed for the privacy of my room. As we were leaving, though, my mother spoke up. "Andrew, I'm glad we talked today. And I'm glad that you're happy here, and that you met Curtis, and that he makes you happy. It's never going to be easy for the two of you, but you've obviously got a strong bond of love. You're off to a good start, everything else will fall into place. I'm proud of you. Both of you." "Thanks, mom." I hugged my mother tightly and didn't even protest when she ruffled my hair. I felt so close to her then, and so happy that she had accepted who I was. She disentangled herself from me and turned to face my boyfriend, now a full part of our little dysfunctional family. "Curtis, if you need to borrow some money, or if there's anything you need for your new place, you know you just have to ask." "Thanks, Mrs. Q., but I have everything I need already." And so saying, he slid his arm around my waist. THE END ======= Oh, actually, one more thing - for those who are wondering, yes I've written other stories, and they are as follows (because I'm shameless like that)... The Scavenger (Not on Nifty) -- a short essay about a love that was not to be Educating Alex (College) -- my personal favorite New to this State (High School) Copier Guy (Beginnings) The Cavern (Authoritarian) -- pretty extreme and not to everyone's taste (mine included!) They can all be found on http://www.nifty.org in (oddly) the Gay section in the categories listed in brackets. They have also been posted to www.eroticstories.com under my author name (Ardveche) and can be found dotted around the web in diverse places.