Date: Wed, 23 Aug 2000 06:51:18 +0100 From: Ardveche Subject: New To This State (Part 3) AS PROMISED... ============== ..the third part of this story. When we left young Drew at the end of the last part, he was being shown to his next class by Tyler, sorry there was nothing racy in the last part, but I am trying to introduce the characters that will feature throughout the story and kind of had to do it that way. Call it artistic prerogative, or whatever. I thought this part would be produced more quickly than the last one, but 'twas not to be. I am beginning to regret writing in the first person to begin with as there are episodes in the lives of Tyler and Reid that I would like to introduce - not to mention the other characters that I want to introduce later on. So there is every possibility that this story will be hastily concluded and then re-written in novel form rather than being posted in instalments. But that's the way the cookie crumbles, right? Anyway, for now, here's a longer than usual part 3 (really what would have been parts 3 to 5, I think) and I'm sorry about the three strangely missing words (and my inability to tell the difference between spelling and sleeping) in the last part! DISCLAIMER ========== This is a work of fiction; any resemblance to persons living or dead is entirely coincidental. The author asserts all legal and moral rights (copyright (c) 2000 - ardveche@hotmail.com) to this work and you may not copy it or transmit it in any way except in its entirety and with this disclaimer. This story features descriptions of sex between consenting (all over the legal age, at least in my jurisdiction they are) males: - if such material is prohibited in your jurisdiction, please DO NOT READ ON, - if you're under the legal age to read such material, please DO NOT READ ON, - if you don't like, or are offended by such material, please DO NOT READ ON. Now, if everyone who is still here is meant to be here, let's get on with it. All comments are welcome and gratefully received (email them to ardveche@hotmail.com). NEW TO THIS STATE ================= Chapter 3 -- My New Buddies And so we made our way out of the cafeteria. Tyler never took his hand off my shoulder the whole way across the room as we threaded through the tables. Not that I was complaining, if pretty much anyone else had done that I would, but I was willing to make an exception in his case. His grip was firm, but not painful, just a friendly 'hand on the shoulder of a buddy' kind of grip. "So you any good at math?" he asked as we emerged into the hallway and he finally removed his hand. "Um, I'm okay I guess, it was about the only class I wasn't flunking at my old school." I offered him my patented Quinn lop-sided grin and he smiled back and gave a short laugh. "Cool, you can sit with me." Could I? Well, just this once, I guess, if he absolutely insisted. We stopped by his locker and he liberated his math books and we proceeded along the blue lines to room M6 where Mrs. Kennedy was waiting for us. "Ah, Tyler, good afternoon. And you must be, um, Andrew Quinn?" This last was to me as she checked my name on a sheet of paper on his desk. Principal Blackburn must have got ahead of the paperwork over lunch. "Um, yes ma'am." "How polite! Well take a seat Andrew, and if you have any questions just ask." So I trotted to the back of the class after Tyler and took the seat in the row next to him, this was going to be a pretty enjoyable class, I had a feeling. Tyler introduced me to the girl sitting in front of me. "Hey, Tomski! This is Drew, he's new. Tomski's vice-president of the student council." "Charmingly done as ever, Tyler, darling. Hi, Drew, I'm Kate, only Tyler uses my last name, for reasons of his own. How are you liking it so far?" "Pleased to meet you, um, Kate, it's not bad, for a school! chemistry was a pain though." I'm not that good at describing girls, I sort of don't notice them (I mean, presumably they have features by which they can be told apart - but they just don't interest me) and I never had any female friends, going to an all boys school. Kate was pleasant enough looking, I guess, not ugly or anything, had reddish blond hair and a nice smile and she seemed like a real nice person. "Oh? Who'd you get stuck with?" She seemed genuinely interested in my answer which sort of unnerved me. Everyone I'd met so far had been really nice, but I had the feeling that nobody was paying much attention to my answers. You know, using the time while I was speaking to think about lunch, or dates, or what to say next. But she looked right at me, intently, like she was trying to work out what made me tick. I figured I might have problems with her, you know, letting her down gently and protecting my little secret. "Dr. Bates?" "Ha! Psycho, lucky you!" "Yeah. And I was sitting next to this guy who slept the whole time." "Curtis Reid? Yeah, he does that. Can't figure him out." As the class proceeded, Tyler leant across from time to time to identify various people in the room as they spoke. It soon became clear that I was sitting in the sphere of coolness. Everyone more than three places away from Tyler he described as losers or geeks and usually couldn't even tell me their names, unless they were 'total losers', in which case they seemed to enjoy a special status of their own. We were going over stuff I had already covered, so I was able to focus almost entirely on him and spent a lot of the class just staring into his eyes and nodding sagely. It was clear why he was no good at math, he wasn't listening to a word Mrs. Kennedy was saying - but who am I to talk? As each hand went up and Tyler imparted his editorial, Kate would chide him and add a few more facts for me. "That's Chris someone, total loser, chess club." Tyler would say. "Tyler, you’re awful! That's Chris Coleman. He's a fantastic pianist too, and an IQ of like 200. He was in grade school with us? He lives like two streets over from you? He's really sweet." Kate would put in without turning round to face us. "Sure, whatever." You see how the conversation went? Every so often Mrs. Kennedy would shoot us a black look and we'd all respond with winning smiles and a suddenly renewed (if short lived) interest in our books. It wasn't that he was a bad person, or cruel or anything, it's just that these people weren't part of his world and he didn't care. He didn't bear them any ill will. Listen to me, I'd known the guy for less than two hours and already I'm defending him. Well, could you blame me? It seemed like no time at all until the bell rang and we were all gathering our stuff to head on to the next phase of our education. I patted at my pockets, as I looked for my now badly crumpled schedule to find out where I was supposed to be next. "Study Hall, same as me." Kate supplied while I was still searching. "The schedules are all pretty straight forward, you're a Group D, I'm a Group C, so while you have chemistry I have biology. So I guess Kate was pretty smart too, either that or she had a real thing for schedules. "C'mon, I'll walk with you." "Um, okay, thanks." "See you guys later." Tyler clapped me on the back, "There are some weights that won't lift themselves." "Get a life, Tyler." Kate called to his retreating back. "Drew, meet you by door three, 'kay? You two have fun now!" He called back turning round and walking backwards with a big grin on his face, he raised his eyebrows suggestively and backed straight into some kid knocking binders and books all over the hall. Amazingly the other kid apologized to him and he was gone round the corner before I could answer. Tyler was clearly the kind of person who was used to people falling in with his plans and doing things his way. Fair enough. "Jeez." I said, by way of self defense and to allay any suggestion that I was interested in Kate. "Relax, Drew. Tyler's brain isn't very big so other organs have to pitch in to help with his thinking." We both laughed and made our way to the school library for the last hour of the day. Kate greeted the librarian by name and led me to a table away from the others, somewhere in the American Lit section, explaining that one of the perks of being on the Council was increased freedom from supervision. "So what extra-curricular stuff you getting involved with?" Kate asked, pulling a bag of M&Ms out and offering some to me. I took a handful and started to sort them into little piles according to color, which she watched with fascination. I had one fewer yellow one than the other colors so she added one for me. "Thanks. I don't really know yet." I said. "All a bit much, huh? To take in in one day, I mean?" "Yeah, kinda. It's a lot different to my old school." "You mean because we have ... girls?" She paused and looked left and right before she said the last word in a kind of hushed tone. Then she laughed out loud, and I flushed red and looked down at my M&Ms. "I'm kidding, sorry." "It's okay." "So what are you into? Sports? Music? Drama? Journalism maybe? Hey, how about chess club" She joked. "Yeah, that'd impress Tyler." I had said it before I realized what I was doing and instantly regretted it as she cocked her head at me and gave me a long stare. "Screw Tyler." She finally said. Gladly, I thought. "He's a nice guy, I love him to bits, but basically he's just a dumb jock, who cares what he thinks? You should do whatever you want to, not what he thinks is cool. Don't let him turn you into another of his little acolytes." Too late! "I'm not much of a joiner-in, to tell you the truth. I played sports at my old school, but mostly 'cause I had to." I tried to get away from the awkward subject of Tyler. "Must've been hell, an all boy's school. I can't imagine being in an all girl's school. I'd go mad." "It wasn't so bad." I replied, and in truth it wasn't, it was all a question of perspective really. I ate all the green M&Ms in one. "I wonder what a psychologist would make of your M&M herding?" She asked. "That I'm obsessive compulsive, probably." I'm not really, I just always liked sorting things by colors. Always have. My shirts are arranged chromatically, as my Crayolas always were when I was a kid. It's the only thing that I'm in anyway obsessive about, colors, well that and my wardrobe, which isn't really a separate thing if you think about it. I gazed out the window, and the silence stretched out for minutes. It wasn't an awkward silence or anything, we just didn't have anything much to say. I guess it was about then I knew we were going to be good friends, you know? When you can just be with someone and not feel you have to be talking all the time or doing stuff, that's pretty cool. "So hanging with the jock-squad after school, huh?" "Yeah, Tyler invited everyone round to his place." There were a few figures out by the bleachers, smoking. A little cluster of them, mostly wearing black, they looked pretty pathetic out there, you know like office workers do huddled by the door to their building? Rain or shine, smoking away. In case you hadn't guessed, I don't smoke. A little way of from them, lying on his back on a low wall with his knees drawn up a bit was the guy from my chemistry class, who I now knew was Curtis. I watched him as he lazily raised one hand to his mouth and took a draw from his cigarette. "Curtis Reid." Kate stated following my gaze. "He's cute, isn't he?" "Haven't seen his face properly." I replied. Fuck. What had I just done? What had I just said? Had I just outed myself to a total stranger? Could I get out of this? Was there anything else I could pretend I'd said instead? Could I claim not to have heard the question properly? Could I feign an epileptic fit and get carried out of the library? Maybe hadn't spoken out loud at all, maybe just thought it? Maybe if I concentrated real hard I could just wink out of existence. And maybe the moon really is made of cheese. I turned slowly to face her, she was smiling kindly at me. "I mean, I don't know." "How did you survive an all boy's school, Drew?" "Listen..." "Drew." She stopped me. "Don't worry about it, I don't care, and I'm not going to tell anyone. I think it's kinda cool, and you look like you could use someone to talk to about it, and I know more about boys than most people you could pick!" "Really? I mean, really you don't care?" "Not at all, my brother's gay too." "Shh!" I looked sharply around to make sure nobody had overheard us. "I never told anybody before." "That's obvious." "It is?" "Sure it is. You're a classic closet case. But the way you were looking at Tyler pretty much gave you away." "It did?" I know I wasn't contributing too much to this discussion, but I was horrified by the idea that people might be able to tell just by looking at me. That was scary. "Oh, don't sweat it. Most people wouldn't be able to tell, I just know what to look for." She patted my hand to reassure me. It didn't work. One day. I hadn't even managed it through one day and already this had happened. Fuck. Did I say that already? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. There, not that it makes me feel any better. "How can it be that obvious?" I wanted to know, and to tell the truth I pretty much whined the question in an 'oh, cruel world' sort of way. "It isn't, really. I swear to you, to anyone else, you would pass for 100% believably heterosexual. Though I think it's a tragedy that society makes you have to try to." Well I agree, of course I do, but that's hardly the issue here, is it? "You're not going to tell anyone, are you?" The thought of being openly held up for inspection scared me to death, the idea of everyone knowing and looking at me and talking about me. And then a more horrible thought even than that struck me. "You wouldn't tell Tyler?" "No! Of course I won't. 'Hey, Tyler, Drew has a huge crush on you', c'mon how likely am I to do that." "I don't know." "Oh, thanks a lot!" I guess that last answer was the wrong one, but really, I had only known her for the shortest time. "Sorry." "It's okay." She smiled again. "I know it isn't easy, especially at our age. But you know, you could talk to Don Scott, the Guidance Counselor, he could put you in touch with youth support groups and things." "What? Like 'Faggots Anonymous'? Hi, I'm Andrew, and I'm gay! I think not." "It's not at all like that. It might make it easier, you know to meet other people in the same situation and help each other deal with it, you might even meet some nice boy, and it's all confidential." "I couldn't." Though if I might meet a nice boy... "Okay, it's not for everyone. Tell you what, why don't I get you all the pamphlets and stuff and you can read them and see what you think?" "You'd do that?" "Sure I would, I saw my brother go through this when he was our age and it was hell for him. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Maybe you should talk to him?" "Um...Thanks, but maybe that's not such a good idea. Can we just, you know, change the subject?" "If you like, but I just want you to know that you're not alone with this." "Thanks. So, how about this weather?" I tried the hale and hearty tone and a big fake grin that even provoked a laugh from her. The awkward moment passed and we talked about nothing much for the rest of the hour, teachers, school, what there was to do in town, usual teenager stuff. Just before the bell rang, she tore a corner from a page in her notebook and wrote her name and number on it for me. "Just in case you want to talk, okay?" "Thanks, Kate. Really, I mean it." I put the paper in my shirt pocket. "No problem, I hate to see another creature suffer, especially if it's cute and has big brown eyes. And you're secret is totally safe with me, girl scouts honor!" She grinned at me and I smiled back, this had been one hell of a first day and no mistake. "C'mon, I'll walk with you. I could stand to bask in Tyler's radiance a little more myself." "He's not hard on the eyes." This was, I think, the first time I had commented on another man's appearance to anybody in my life. It felt amazingly liberating to do it, the only worry was that if I let my guard down at all it would soon become habit. I didn't want to end up all camp and effeminate, critiquing and bitching about every guy who walked past me. I hate that. We joined the throng of kids in the hall and headed for the agreed rendezvous point, her hand on my arm as we walked. It felt pretty good to be walking like that with someone who knew my secret and who was totally unfazed by it and accepted me completely for what I was. Maybe California really was more liberal than the rest of the country? I began to think that maybe, just maybe, I could be myself here, or more myself than I'd been up until now. We turned a corner, and through the glass doors I could see Tyler and some of the guys loitering on the steps and horsing around waiting for me. For me. That was pretty cool too, these were nice people, I had landed on my feet. "What's behind door number three." Said a voice, which I quickly realized was my own. At that moment, Tyler looked back into the school and saw me and Kate approaching, he arched his eyebrows at me again, and I remembered that Kate's hand was still on my arm. She must've felt me stiffen slightly and removed it immediately. We exited into the warm afternoon sun. "Well, I'll leave you boys to your macho rituals." Kate said and started down the steps, "too much testosterone gives me a headache. See you tomorrow." We watched her depart. "You dog!" Tyler punched my arm. "I leave this guy alone for an hour and look what happens!" He addressed the group who all made appreciative noises, "fast work, my man!" "It's not like that." I began to protest. Tyler threw an arm round my shoulders and mussed my hair with his other hand. Like I said, normally I hate that, but I'd be lying if I said my resistance here was more than token. "Sure it's not, killer!" He laughed. I decided to let it drop, there was no point in protesting further, and in a way it was sort of helpful to have him think that Kate and me had hit it off. Unless he was a closet case too. Damn. Catch 22. How do I let him know I'm interested without him knowing I'm interested? A tough one. "Where the fuck is David?" His voice cut into my thoughts and he let go of me. "Why don't you 'phone your mom while we wait for that fuckup?" He handed me his cell phone, a small sleek silvery affair. I opened the flip and had started to dial before I realized it was my Pennsylvania number. I had absolutely no idea what Lois's number was. Why should I? We only got here yesterday and I had no reason to call. "Um, Tyler, I don't know my number. How dumb is that? But you know, I only got here yesterday." "Outstanding!" He grinned at me. "Maybe I should just go home, and maybe meet you guys later?" "I live way the hell out of town, dude. You drive?" "My mom has the car." At that moment, David arrived on the steps. "Well, we're heading there now. So it's your call, come with or go home." Gee thanks, Tyler, make my life easier. "I should go home, my mom'd be real worried if I didn't show or call. And since I can't call..." I trailed off. "'kay, too bad, another day, yeah?" And Tyler started off down the steps followed by his little posse of jocks. David hesitated for a minute, then clapped me on the shoulder, shrugged and with a quiet 'later', followed them. I stood there watching them go, I felt like shit. The old me would have said 'fuck it' and gone after them, but I had that promise to myself to think about. That I was going to be the best son possible. This was going to be a tough one to live up to. I wanted to go, I really did, and like Tyler other organs of mine were doing the thinking here, but I clamped down on them and turned towards the road and home. I had only been trekking up the hill for a couple of seconds when realization dawned on me. I had paid no attention whatever to the route my mom had taken to get here this morning. Things were going from bad to worse. I knew where I lived well enough, but I had no idea where it was in relation to where I was, and I didn't know the number to call. And even if I did, I didn't have a 'phone to call from. Fuck. So what now? I guess all I could do was keep going up the hill and hope I either saw a familiar landmark or somebody I could ask for directions. Like Tyler said, out-fucking-standing! So on I slogged, when I reached the top, both direction looked equally promising. So I did a quick mental coin-toss and picked right. Off I went, past rows of identical houses set in identical gardens. Along a road flanked by identical fences on one side and identical trees on the other. Nothing about this road looked familiar. An old Ford went past as I about faced and decided to try my luck with the left turning instead. Back along I trudged to the top of the hill, crossed the road and set off once more. This time I passed a small white church which looked vaguely familiar and I began to feel a bit more upbeat. But it wasn't to last long, nothing else in the street rang any bells. I heard another car approaching and decided to try flagging it down to ask the driver for directions. I turned, and the car slowed to a halt before I could even raise my hand. It was the one that had passed me on the other street. Great, I was in California for two days and already I was about to be murdered. Could this day get worse? I took a step closer, and the new angle allowed me to see in through the windshield, but it still took a moment to recognize the driver. Curtis Reid, the enigmatic (read, rude) guy from my chemistry class. The one Kate thought was cute. I walked towards the car, and when I drew level, bent down to address him through the side window. "You look lost." He stated it as a fact, leaning his forearms on the steering wheel and gazing out the windshield at the road ahead. "Um, yeah, kinda. It's real dumb, but all these streets look the same and I'm, um, well, I'm not sure where I live." "That's suburbia for you." He still hadn't made eye-contact and his voice retained the fat, toneless, uninterested quality it had earlier in the day. I wasn't sure if he was stopping to help me, or just because he was interested to see what I'd do next. "I guess. So, um, do you think you could help me?" "Get in." "Thanks." I complied immediately and slipped inside the car quickly before he could change his mind. I couldn't see him very clearly still, the way the sun was shining and we both sat in silence for a few moments. "You gotta tell me where you're going, or we'll never get there." He finally said, drawing himself upright and placing both hands on the wheel, he still didn't look at me. I felt a fool, but I also felt deeply uncomfortable, like I was really putting him out. "Listen, if it's a problem..." I started to say. "Just tell me where you live." He cut me off before I could go any further, and in a way I was relieved. To be honest, I could live with putting him out so long as I got home before midnight! "Um, sure, it's on Chestnut Street." He snorted at that and muttered something that sounded a lot like 'figures', but I decided to let it lie as he started the car and did a quick U-turn to head back down the hill I had just walked up. Either he knew a shortcut, or I was totally off beam in my recollection. Oh well. I never had much of a sense of direction, I used to get lost in our garden. Maybe not quite, but you get the idea. Suddenly painted lines seemed like a much better idea than they had that morning. The rest of the journey passed in total silence until we pulled into a familiar street, and I could see the house. "Which one?" The suddenness of his voice startled me. "Um, that one, with the sort of tower?" Why was so much of what I said today, stuff I absolutely knew, coming out as a question? I'm not usually this timid, I swear, maybe it was just the newness of everything? More self-psychotherapy. Maybe I should buy a book? We pulled up into the drive, my mom's car wasn't there. Well, if nothing else I was brought up well, so I asked him in, knowing full well that he'd say no, if he managed to be that polite! "Thanks a lot, man! I was sooo lost. Listen, would you like to come in for, um, a drink or something?" He turned slowly round to face me and looked at me for a long moment in silence, I started to feel really awkward, like I'd propositioned him or something. I was about to say 'never mind' and bolt when he seemed to relax a little and replied. "Thanks." Well, that wasn't what I'd expected, but I had asked, so I guess I had to go through with it. I can't say I much relished the prospect, conversation with this guy was a real uphill struggle, but I did owe him for the ride home. So I nodded at him, opened the car door and stepped out. He got out the other aide and stretched a little before reaching up and pushing his dirty-blond hair up and out of his eyes. I caught a flash of green eyes and noticed that his sleeve was missing a button, so the cuff was flapping around in the light breeze. I stood by the car like a fool looking at him, waiting for him to move and reflecting on just how right Kate had been. He was very cute, why hadn't I noticed this before? "Um, this way." I finally said as he looked over at me quizzically. He had a few freckles across the bridge of his nose, and his face was nicely tanned (especially compared to my east-coast pallor) and regularly shaped. Very cute, like I said. He followed me up the path to the front door and into the kitchen. I quickly stuck my head into the conservatory to see if there was anyone else in. There didn't appear to be. "Lois!" I called up the stairs, but there was no reply. "Um what would you like, we have..." I pulled open the refrigerator door and did a quick inventory for him. "Coke's fine." I handed him a can and took one for myself. "Thanks." We popped the cans open simultaneously and each took a stool at the island in the middle of the kitchen. There was another long awkward silence and then we both started to speak together. "So where..." He started. "So how did..." I started. We both stopped and then both started to say "you first" at the same time. This struck me as funny and I cracked up, he didn't laugh aloud, but did favor me with a broad smile, which made his face look even more handsome. "After you." I finally managed to say. "It wasn't important." He said and then stopped. I thought that the conversation was over again, but he went on. "I was just going to ask where you were from." "Pennsylvania. But my mom was born right here, this is my Grandma's house." "I warned you about that, young man!" Lois's voice came from the back door where she had just come in carrying a basket of fruit. "Lois. Hey, this is Curtis." He looked over at me sharply, I realized that he had never told me his first name and must now think that I'd been asking questions about him. "Uh, hello. " He said to her and then, presumably thinking more was required added "Ma'am." "Aren't you just adorable?" Lois was as straight to the point with him as with everyone else. She looked him up and down appraisingly as she plonked the basked down on the counter, Curtis flushed and looked away from her at me, with a silent appeal in his eyes. "Lo-isss!" I said again. I had the feeling I'd be doing that a lot. "Lois will do, now take your shirt off, Curtis." "What?!" We both said at the same time. "Oh, if I was twenty years younger it'd be for what you two are thinking! Give me the shirt, I'm going to put a button on that sleeve." Curtis looked blank for a moment, then raised his arm to look at the cuff and laughed. "There's no need..." He was about to protest, and who could blame him? I bet he hadn't bargained on this when he'd stopped to help me home! "Certainly there is, the least I can do to repay you for giving AN-Drew a ride home. After all it is only his first day, it was very good of you." She stressed the first two letters of my name, presumably as pay-back for the earlier 'Grandma'. "Now while Drew makes me a cup of tea, I'll get my sewing kit and I expect that shirt to be off when I get back. You can keep everything else on." She joked as she left the room, but we both distinctly heard her add, "For now." "Jeez, I'm so sorry about that. If it's any consolation she does it to everyone." I tried a sort of apologetic smile at him. What a great first impression to make. "Your grandmother's quite something." Curtis finally said and snorted a laugh. "I like her." With that he stood up and shucked his shirt off his shoulders. Underneath he wore a plain white T-shirt that was too baggy for me to be able to tell anything much about his build, but I could see that his arms were both tanned and pretty muscular - well, more so than mine, again! "I wouldn't want to get on her bad side." "Tell me about it!" I agreed as I hunted for the tea. The ice appeared to be broken, and all it had taken was the mutual horror of the embarrassed teenage male when confronted by an elderly female relative. "I heard that." Lois reappeared with sewing kit in hand and proceeded to up-end a jar of buttons on the countertop in the hunt for one that matched. I watched her for a few moments sorting through the heap and checking likely candidates against the ones on the shirt before I took pity on her. I flicked the front of the shirt over to show her where there were two spare button sewn to the inside. "Well, look at that. What will they think of next." "The elderly." I sighed and got a withering look for my troubles. "So, Curtis, tell me a little about yourself." Lois said as she started to thread a needle. "Um, what sort of thing?" He looked troubled. "Anything you like." "Um..." "Well, start with how you met this reprobate?" She indicated me with a jerk of her head. "And work up to what you dream about, what you're passionate about. What makes you tick? Anything really." From the look he gave me, he'd been expecting something more along the lines of 'what do your parents do?' Lois concentrated on her sewing though and missed the panic on his face. "Um, well I met, Andrew, Drew, in chemistry class sort of." "But he wasn't feeling too sociable then." I chipped in and got another black look, but this one from Curtis. I was kind of enjoying his discomfiture, I know that's bad, but there you go he had been pretty off that morning. "Um, no. Well. And then I saw him on the street looking lost and gave him a lift. That's about it really." "Chance encounter. Always the best beginning." Lois muttered. "Go on." "Um, I was on my way to this place I go sometimes." He paused to lick his lips and take a big gulp of his coke, his gaze fixed on the progress of the repair on his shirt. I think if he could have, he'd just have grabbed it and bolted, he was not enjoying this. "I, um, I go up there to practice. Guitar. I'm not in a band or anything, I just like to, you know, for myself." "What sort of music do you like?" "Um, most things, I guess. Anything with good acoustic guitar, then I can try to work it out and play it." "You taught yourself?" "Um, yeah, I guess." "Very well done. I'll have to hear you play sometime. There." She held up the now fully be-buttoned shirt and he took it gratefully. "And now, I think I've probably tormented you boys enough, if the look on your face is anything to go by, so I'll go back out to my flowers. Drew, why don't you ask Curtis to stay for dinner?" "Oh no, I couldn't, you've been generous enough already." He protested. "Excellent, so that's settled then. Why don't you two amuse yourselves until Drew's mother gets back? I think it's marvelous that Drew's making new friends, and such polite ones, so easily." Curtis looked at me, helplessly, and I shrugged at him. "Okay, thanks, Mrs., um, Lois?" "My pleasure." She left us alone in the kitchen and headed back out to the garden. I sat quietly until the back door closed behind her and then risked a look at Curtis. "Sorry about that. You don't have to stay, you know, if you have stuff to do, or whatever." Half of me very much wanted him to stay and I watched closely as he put his shirt back on, a look of concentration on his face. "No, that's okay. I'm in no real hurry to go home." He gave me a wry sort of half smile and then turned away. "If it's okay with you? I mean, I was pretty rude this morning, I can see why you might not want me to..." "Don't worry about it." I dismissed the apology, if that's what it was. "So, um..." "Yeah. Um, want to see the rest of the house?" "Sure." He stood up, relieved to be doing anything but be interrogated by Lois. I was surprised she'd let him off with so few questions, maybe she just sensed how much he hated to talk about himself? I showed him all around the first floor and then took him upstairs to my new room. "This is bigger than my whole house." He said as he stepped into the attic room. There was something in his voice that I couldn't identify, not jealousy or anything. But maybe a sort of sadness? I don't know, maybe it was just my imagination. I had no idea how to respond to a comment like that, so I treated it like a wild exaggeration and just snorted. He wandered over to my impressive, if I do say so myself, CD collection and ran his finger along the spines. "Listen, I'm real sorry about this morning, Drew." He said, turning in my direction, but not looking me in the eye. "Look, I'm not used to this, okay? I keep to myself at school, I don't bother anyone and they don't bother me. I just prefer to be left alone." What would psychologists say about the use of so many words like 'listen', I wonder? "So why'd you stop to give me a ride?" I was curious now. "I don't know. It was like, well..." He just trailed off. "Oh, right, I see." I said ironically. He wandered over to the 'tower' part of the room and gazed out the window. "I don't fit in there, right?" "Do you try?" I couldn't resist asking him that. "I guess maybe not. But, look, when I saw you on the road? And you were, like, so obviously lost?" "Yes?" "Well, I don't know. It was like I identified with you, I guess. You know? Like you being new? You're a misfit too. Sort of." "So you like, pitied me?" "No, not like that. Just, I know what it's like to be stuck on your own with nobody to help you, okay? Story of my life. Ha!" He turned back to the window. "I see." "Do you?" "Not really. I don't get why you are so cold at school, you seem like a nice guy, so why do you seal yourself off?" I really wanted to know, but he just looked at me for a long time and finally gave me a total non-answer. "It's a long story." "So, I'm listening." "And I'm going to pour my woes out to you, right?" He snorted again. "If you want to talk, I want to listen." I surprised myself with the tone of my voice, it was totally sincere. Amazingly, I did want to listen and, if I could, help him. For all we'd only known each other for the shortest time and said practically nothing to one another I liked him and wanted to be his friend. "I shouldn't be here. I ought to go." "You're free to leave. I can't stop you. But you do have to go through the garden to get to your car, and Lois is out there!" I joked, trying to lighten the mood which had suddenly become so tense. He looked at me for a moment, his face totally expressionless and then he exploded into laughter and had to sit down on my bed until he recovered. I guess, although it wasn't that funny, it was the right thing to say at that moment. He flopped back on my bed, with his arms stretched above his head and heaved in a great breath which he slowly let out before he turned his head sideways to look at me. "So?" I asked. "You're a good guy, Drew. And I'm a jerk. I'm sorry, okay?" "Okay." He turned his head away and stared up at the ceiling again. I noticed that as he'd flopped back, his T-shirt had pulled up out of his back jeans and I could now see the waistband of his shorts and the thinnest sliver of his belly, which like his arms was nicely tanned. I gazed at him in silence, he seemed in no mood to talk and I was quite happy to wait until he was - I had other things on my mind. "You know Tyler'll drop you in a minute if he finds out." He said suddenly. "Finds out what? That I talked to you?" "That too, but I meant that you're gay." "What?" For fuck's sake, did everyone around here see straight through me? "The fuck are you talking about? What makes you think I'm gay?" I thought that my response this time was more convincing than it had been with Kate in the library. He turned his face towards me again. "Look me in the eye and tell me you're not." "I..." Suddenly that which sounded so damned easy was proving impossible. Under his cool, steady, green gaze I found I couldn't actually deny it. "I knew it. If you weren't gay you would have punched me by now, not just sat there asking dumb questions. Real heteros deny it, buddy, they don't ask 'what makes you think that?', as a rule." He swung himself up into a sitting position so his legs were over the foot of the bed and he was looking straight at me. "Jesus Christ." I breathed. "I don't need this crap." "I think you do. You should stop hiding. Open up." "Oh, advice from you? And you're so fucking qualified to tell me how to behave. That's some kind of ego you've got there, you're a fucking sociopath. And a hypocrite." "That's fair." He said mildly. "For fuck's sake, fight back. Don't just take it." If he was going to keep this up, I was going to start feeling pretty foolish for shouting at him. "No, you're right. Physician heal thyself." He replied. "What the fuck is happening to me today?" I asked the ceiling, or any kindly power there might be above it. "What is WRONG with me??" Suddenly I wanted to cry, and there was nothing I could do to stop it, the tears began to run down my cheeks. "Hey! Nothing's wrong with you." Before I could react, he was across the room and had wrapped his arms around me. "Lemme go!" I said, struggling feebly in his grip. "Not a chance." He said hugging me to him. "Oh fuck!" I wailed and then I buried my face against his shoulder and gave in to the tears. I cried my eyes out and it went on, like, forever. He never moved or let go, just stood there quietly holding me and murmuring stuff like 'it's okay' every so often. After what felt like an hour, but can only have been about five minutes, he started to stroke the back of my head and neck gently and rock me slightly. God it felt good just to be held like that, so right to have someone strong and sure looking after me. How could anything that felt so good possibly be wrong? I totally forgot that he was a perfect stranger, the second perfect stranger to have uncovered my secret in the space of hours. I began to snuffle as the tears ran their course. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" I asked his shoulder quietly. "Nothing. If there's something wrong with you, then it's wrong with me too. And there's nothing wrong with me." And so saying he kissed the top of my head. Well, if the tears had been about to end, that pretty much stopped them totally. I took a step back from him and looked at him, partly in shock and partly with totally new eyes. "What did you just say?" And then another thought followed it, and I gave voice to it too. "What did you just DO??" "You know perfectly well what I said. And I DID this." And this time he kissed me on the lips. Just a light, short, kiss but it made my knees buckle. He caught my arms and held me upright with a quiet laugh. "Yeah, I have that effect on people." He smiled wryly down at me. "Want to sit down? Or do you want to go splash cold water on your face?" "God, I must look awful. I'm so sorry, Curtis." "Why?" "For breaking down like that. What a doofus." "Don't worry about it. I quite liked your vulnerable side." He smiled at me. "But that was a car in the drive so I think you'd better make yourself beautiful again." That made him the second person (relatives not included) to call me beautiful in the space of a week. The second male person. The second male person to call ME beautiful and to show interest in me. Sexually. As in, with sex. My thoughts were pretty disordered, the one thing I was sure of was that my mother could not see me looking like this. So I went through to the bathroom and splashed water on my face. Somewhere I had eye drops so I rummaged around for those and finally found them, squirting liberally into both eyes. I blinked like a mole in the sudden daylight and shook my head back and forth. "What DO you look like?" Said an amused voice from the doorway. Curtis was standing watching me, leaning against the door-frame with his arms crossed over his chest and that (wonderful/irritating) half smile on his lips. "You tell me. Could you tell I'd been crying?" "Well, your eyes are still a little red, but I don't think anyone'll notice and they'll be fine in a few minutes." "How can you be so calm?" I couldn't believe he was being so damned calm. Had he been here during the last half hour? Well, yes, he had, but it didn't seem to have affected him like it had affected me. "'Cause I've been ready for this since chemistry class." "What?" "I wanted you as soon as you walked in. But I sort of figured you wouldn't be interested in me, you know, not in with the jocks, from the wrong side of the tracks, that sort of thing." He looked down at his feet and there was a real awkwardness. "You just seemed so totally everything I'm not, so self confident and smart and rich and just the kind of guy that thinks I'm some sort of freak. That's the real reason I was so weird in class." "So what made you change your mind?" "I don't know if I have yet." Well, that wasn't the answer I had expected. "What? Didn't you just kiss me? Twice." "Yes. But even though you're a really nice guy I can see you not wanting to be around someone like me, the Tylers and the Davids of this world wouldn't approve. Of me, as a friend, never mind as a boyfriend. I don't fit." The worst thing is he was right. "You are so wrong." I told him. "Am I?" "Yes!" I was as emphatic as I could be, and I saw that he was about to call me on my lie when a voice from the foot of the stairs ended the conversation. "Andrew!" My mother's voice filtered up to us. I looked at him, with pleading in my eyes. For what, I'm not totally sure, I just new that a lot depended on what he did next. "Andrew?" "You should answer her. We can talk more after dinner." He told me with a slight smile and then added, "If you want to." I nodded. "Up here, mom!" I called without taking my eyes off his face, he turned away and went back over to my CDs and selected one and we had a typical bland exchange as between two friends. "Music?" "Sure." "Cool." "What?" "Savage Garden." "Okay." "Affirmation?" "Suits me." He slid the CD into my stereo and pressed play, adjusting the volume to a level where conversation would still be possible. It was a telling choice of track 'I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality' and all, but before I could pass comment my mother came into the room. "How was school, honey?" She asked immediately and then noticed Curtis perched on he bed. "Oh. I'm sorry, Lois didn't say there was anyone else here. Hello, I'm Andrew's mother." "Um, hi, Mrs. Quinn. Nice to meet you." Guess he was paying attention to a point in chemistry class then. "Mom this is Curtis, a friend from school." "Oh wonderful! Are you staying for dinner, Curtis?" "Well, um, Lois asked me to. If that's okay? Maybe I should let you have a family meal together." "No that's fine. I'm just glad Andrew's making friends so quickly." "Mo-o-om!" "Sorry. Well it's lovely to meet you Curtis. We'll be eating very soon, I'll call you boys, okay?" "Okay." We said together. "I'll leave you to it." She looked at me oddly and then glanced at Curtis, frowned slightly and left the room without another word. I'm sure nobody else would have noticed it, but I knew that she knew that something had been going on before she arrived. I glanced over at Curtis and saw what I was now sure she had seen too. "Shit. Your shirt's wet." "So?" "So, I have red eyes, you have a wet shirt. It doesn't take a genius to spot the connection, does it?" And I knew my mother was not a fool. "You're imagining things. There could be any number of reasons why my shirt is wet, and it's only slightly anyway, she probably didn't even notice." "Maybe." But I was not convinced. I would find out pretty much immediately after he left if she had noticed anything, so I'd better come up with something over dinner to explain it all. Or maybe I really was worrying about nothing. I went over to sit on the bed next to him. Not because I desperately wanted to, but because there was only one chair in the room as yet and that over at the far side by my PC. Being so close to him was a bonus too. He smiled sadly at me again and slid his arm round my waist. I breathed in deeply and felt my stomach lurch slightly, it felt so good. "I don't know what to make of you, Pennsylvania." He said quietly as he rested his forehead against my shoulder. "I really don't." We sat in silence like that and listened to a couple more tracks until my mother's voice again drifted up the stairs, telling us it was time to feed. Suddenly I was ravenous, and though I didn't want him to let go of me I knew we had to go downstairs. "C'mon, before she sends a search party." I stood up and he followed suit. "Is this going to be painful?" He asked. "Lois?" I chuckled. "Yeah." "You'll be fine." And this time I kissed him, just on the cheek, but it seemed to reassure him and he smiled at me and indicated I should go first. When we got downstairs we were put to work setting the table while my mother and Lois finished up in the kitchen and then the four of us sat down to a delicious meal. Conversation was pretty stilted over dinner, my mother was obviously constrained in telling me about her day with Curtis being there and I was loathe to talk too much about my day also. So Lois made up for us all and rattled on about her day instead, and how well her vegetables were coming along, how the cat's pregnancy was progressing and pretty much anything that came into her head. I do that too, you know, when everyone else is silent you talk to fill the gaps. She was pretty funny and nobody minded that she monopolized the conversation, I think we were all glad of the chance to just switch off and deal with our own thoughts. I sneaked occasional glances over at Curtis, but he seemed absorbed either in shuffling food around his plate or listening politely to Lois and he barely looked in my direction. "Curtis, why don't you help me clear up? Let Andrew and his mother catch up with one another and then you boys can go off and do whatever it is young boys do these days." Said Lois pushing herself up from her place and gathering up the plates. I choked on my glass of water, but nobody remarked on it. "Okay, sure." Curtis replied but he sounded less happy about it than he probably hoped to. I could sympathize, if she started hassling him again! So I was left alone with my mother. "So how was your day?" I asked. "Pretty good, we have a lawyer now. Suzanne Chambers, I was at law school with her. And she thinks she might know of an opening with a friend, just as a secretary, but it's better than nothing and I can look for something else from there." "But you're way too qualified for that." "Beggars can't be choosers, honey." "We're not beggars." "No. But your grandmother isn't made of money, I have to contribute something to our upkeep here. She won't let me pay any rent, but there's food and bills and things, although I'll need most of the money to pay Suzanne. It's not ideal, but it'll have to do for now." "I guess. I could get something as well, like I said." "And Like I said, no. Concentrate on school. Speaking of which, how was it?" "It was fine, I met plenty of cool people and I think I'm going to like it better there than the old place." I gave her a potted summary of the day's events, the (heavily) edited highlights, sort of thing. "Some of the teachers are a bit weird, but that's hardly news." "No, I suppose not." There was a long pause, and I could tell there was something more on her mind. "Your new friend seems a little, well, odd." "He's just quiet." "No kidding, he hardly said three words during dinner." I shrugged, what else could I do. I think it's fair to say that mothers will almost never approve of their children's friends. Just as well she didn't know the whole story of what had gone on in this very building that day, she'd have had heart failure or something. "You have to get to know him. He loosens up a bit." There came a peal of laughter from the direction of the kitchen, accompanied by the lower rumble of Curtis's laughter. "See, Lois likes him." "Hmm, where's he from? What do his parents do?" "I don't know. What difference does it make?" "None at all, of course." "But?" "There is no but." "Sure, mom. C'mon I know you better than that, what's the problem." "Nothing, there's just something about him that makes me a little uneasy. I don't know what it is. Something guarded." "so his folks don't have money, that doesn't make him a bad person, or a criminal or anything." I responded hotly. "Oh, Andrew! That's not fair. That's not at all what I'm saying. I was just saying that I got the feeling he was hiding something, that there was something he wasn't saying." "You just said yourself he hardly spoke, I guess there was a lot he wasn't saying." "Don't be smart. You know what I mean." "Whatever. Look you just met him, give him a chance." "I am. I'm just telling you to be careful." "Fine. Noted. Maybe I should get references from people before I decide whether or not to be friends with them, huh?" "I said not to be smart." She scolded, I was kind of over-reacting, but after what had gone on upstairs, I was keen to defend him. "Let's just drop it, okay?" "Suits me." "Don't be like that Andrew. Please. It's been a long day, I'm sorry." "Me too. Sorry." "I'm sure you'll do the right thing, I just don't want you falling in with a bad crowd here. I'm concerned about your grades, even if you're not." "Okay, mom, change the record. I already said I'd try harder." "I know." I was spared further torture by the return of Lois and Curtis. "This boy stacks a dishwasher like a pro." Lois announced to us. "I barely had to lift a finger. So talent as well as looks." Curtis blushed again and shuffled uncomfortably. "Mother! Don't embarrass the poor boy." My mom only narrowly beat me to the protest. "Now sit down and talk to me, and you boys go and amuse yourselves." "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Lois called after us and when I turned round to give her my most withering look she winked at me and it spoiled the effect totally. Back up in my room we both sort of stood and looked at one another for a while without saying anything. It was Curtis who broke the silence. "Hey, what time is it?" "Um, about nine, I think." I turned to check my alarm clock, I was pretty close. "Um, ten minutes past." "I oughta go pretty soon, then." "Yeah?" "'Fraid so." "Oh." "I don't think your mom would approve of me spending the night, buddy." He grinned at me and punched me playfully on the shoulder. I reflected briefly on how changed the Curtis before me was from the surly 'Reid' of my chemistry class. And he said he didn't know what to make of me? Ha! "No, I guess not." Which was a real shame, because right about then I could seriously have stood to have him stay all night, even if all he did was hold me like before. Though, I would not be complaining if more than that happened. "But I thought we were going to talk?" "It'll have to wait for another time. Sorry." "Well can I call you?" "NO!" He was so emphatic about this that I was quite taken aback and didn't know what to say next, he looked at me and his face softened a bit. "Sorry, no, I don't give my phone number out, my dad doesn't like people calling the house. Sorry." He shrugged to show that it wasn't his rule. "Okay, well can we talk after school tomorrow?" "Can't, I have to work. Meet me at the bleachers at lunch, yeah?" "Um, yeah, I guess I could do that." I smiled at him. "'kay. Well, I should shoot. But I'll see you then." "Okay." "Well. I'll go then." "So you said." "Yeah." He paused and looked at me with his head on one side. "Can I kiss you again?" "You didn't ask the last time." "That was different." "I guess." "So can I?" I just nodded and he stepped forward and slid one arm round my waist drawing me towards him. As our lips met, I could tell straight away that he was right, this was very different to the last time. This was a kiss! We held it for what at the time seemed like ages, but as soon as he drew back seemed like far too little time. "Thanks." I breathed and he laughed at me. "I'll see you tomorrow." We went back downstairs and he said goodbye to Lois and my mom and thanked them for their hospitality. I watched him walk to his car and pull out of the drive. He blinked the lights once at me and then he was gone down the road. Tomorrow couldn't come soon enough for my liking. I went back inside and went to get myself a glass of water in the kitchen, for some reason my mouth had gone very dry. As I was standing by the sink, Lois entered and came up behind me, putting her hand on the small of my back. "I like your new friend, even if your mother doesn't." "Thanks, Lois." I said as she walked back out of the kitchen. "He's a real cutie, don't let him get away." She left me by the sink pondering the meaning of those words. Like they were in any way open to interpretation. Maybe I should just wear a big sign around my neck? Still, so far everyone who had seen through me was on my side, so maybe it wasn't so very bad. Only time would tell. I made my way upstairs to my room and after a half-hearted attempt at straightening up some of my stuff and beautifying my personal space, I slipped into bed. I fell asleep stroking myself slowly and with a picture of Curtis in my mind. To Be Continued... ==================