Jamie's snoring was no softer after a few hours of sleep, and it seemed unlikely it would stop soon. It hadn't kept me from getting to sleep, or staying that way, but it became a problem after I woke up.
I'd gotten out of bed to go to the bathroom as the sun started peeking around the edges of the curtains, and I usually would have fallen back into a light doze after that, since it wasn't a school day. But, loud as Jamie was being, it seemed like that wasn't an option. I was aimlessly browsing the internet on my phone, when a message from Ellie came through.
I looked across at the couch, and the lump under the covers that was Jamie. He was just lying there - in his underwear, probably nursing a hangover. That was going to be a weird interaction that I had no desire to start. I didn't really have a script for that sort of thing.
Jamie's phone began to buzz, and he groaned. His hand reached out to grab it and answer. His voice came out in an annoyed, groggy croak. "What?"
He looked over at me, and I lazily waved, propping myself up on my elbow. I could hear hints of what must have been a very energetic monologue from Ellie, and Jamie didn't offer many responses, just rubbing his eyes and wincing occasionally.
"I was just going to go home... No... Well, okay, if Jay's fine with it."
"I am." It was getting quite late in the morning already, and I'd already been lying there for a while, unsure what to do about him. At least Ellie being there would break up the day nicely, and make things feel less awkward. And the weather was ideal for swimming - probably one of the last warm days we'd have for a while, once winter started setting in.
"Okay, fine." He put down the phone, and looked over at me, narrowing his eyes. "Traitor."
"Sorry." I grinned, and pushed myself out of bed. "She was insistent."
"Yeah, that's Ellie." He sighed. "My clothes are pretty gross, aren't they?"
"Yep. I actually had some thoughts about that." I went over to my closet and grabbed some old swimming trunks, tossing them to him.
"Do I get a shirt?"
"Maybe later. Might be better to deal with your old clothes first." It only occurred to me after I'd said it that I probably should have just given him one. I was over my crush, but Jamie looked good shirtless - maybe a bit too good. But if we were going to be swimming anyway, it occurred to me that I might as well desensitise myself to his amazing body early in the day.
I went to my kitchen counter and started making a tea for myself while he wriggled under the covers and eventually emerged wearing the swimming trunks. When he walked up to me, I tried not to stare too much at his chest - to stop my eyes from drifting down his toned pecs and onwards to his perfectly flat stomach, with the lightest dusting of hair. I was only mildly successful.
"I don't have coffee. But I can offer you tea or hot chocolate, if you want."
"Nah, I'm good. Can I have more water?" He yawned and stretched, causing the lithe muscles of his arms to flex in the most annoyingly pleasing way.
I cleared my throat. "Yeah, sure. Just any of the bottles in the fridge is fine."
"Thanks." He leaned down and opened the fridge, and I caught myself watching the play of the muscles of his back as he reached in and out.
Feeling suddenly annoyed at myself, I deliberately focused my attention back on making the tea. It was kind of sleazy to be checking Jamie out like this anyway, but more than that, I was just getting tired of cute guys with great bodies turning my brain into sap. I fished the teabag out of my cup, threw it away, and added the milk. Then I left the tea on the counter.
"Come on," I said curtly, heading over to the glass door and opening it.
He took a gulp of water, and set the bottle down on the table before walking over to join me. "Whatsup?"
"Grab that." I indicated the plastic bag that contained his puke-spattered shoes and clothes.
He delicately lifted the bundle up. "Fucking gross."
"Yep. Follow me." I stepped back inside, and led him through the door that led into the main house, which went via the laundry room at the back of the garage. I grabbed the detergent and fabric softener from the cabinet where we kept them, and put the appropriate amount in the machine, turning the dial to the right setting.
"Okay, I'm going to leave the room while you do that. Because that seems like a you-problem." I gestured at his clothes. "Put those in there, and push that start button."
"Cool."
"Then just bring the shoes outside, and we'll hose them down."
"Gotcha."
I cleared some space around the storm-drain outside, and set the hose up. Jamie came out a few minutes later and tumbled the shoes out onto the ground. While he bunched up the bag and went to throw it away, I blasted them with high water pressure, trying to get them from every angle. When he got back, I paused, and let him inspect them.
"Okay, we're good." He nodded.
I let him figure out where to hang them, and quickly went to unlock the gate for when Ellie showed up. Then I made my way back into my room, grabbed some swimming shorts, and went into my bathroom to change. I washed my face and put on some deodorant, but resisted the urge to fiddle with my hair.
By the time I'd grabbed my tea and made my way outside again, Ellie was there, sitting at the metal table with Jamie. She was dressed in a long, flowy sarong and had a large floppy hat with a dark pair of sunglasses. It looked like a thoroughly planned outfit, to be honest - it made me fairly sure that her holiday itinerary had always involved lounging around my pool.
"Morning Jay." She beamed cheerfully as I sat down with them. "I'm just hearing about Jamie's glamorous and oh-so-surprising evening."
"Morning." I grinned. Jamie already looked exhausted.
She turned her attention back to him. "Are you going to try to patch things up with her?"
"Hah, no." Jamie glanced over at me. "That's probably not an option now."
"Why?"
"Just a feeling I got."
"Okay," Ellie shrugged. "Should we go swimming?"
"That's it?" Jamie asked. "You're not going to give me a hard time about it?"
"Jamie." She sighed. "If I picked apart all your poor life choices, we'd be graduating already. From university."
"Ouch."
"Yeah, well.... I'm getting in the pool." She reached into a large satchel that was hanging off her chair and pulled something out. "Here's sunblock if you guys need it."
Ellie stripped down to her bikini, carefully folding the sarong and placing it and the sunglasses back in her bag, and setting the hat down delicately on the table. Jamie and I both took a bit of sunblock and covered our shoulders and faces, while Ellie made her way into the water.
"It's so cold!" she shouted.
"Yeah, it's not really summer any more." I stepped up to the edge. "It was chilly out here last night. But it'll warm up."
I braced myself and waded in, flinching as the cold reached ever higher on my legs. Once the waterline got to my thighs, I took a deep breath and plunged forward, earning an undignified squeak from Ellie as a few droplets of water flew in her direction. She didn't really have time to direct her anger at me, because a few seconds later Jamie took a running jump and dived in with a huge splash.
"I really had something more relaxing in mind." She glared at Jamie darkly when he resurfaced, brushing back a strand of her now-damp hair.
"Well then you shouldn't hang out with guys." He grinned.
"If only I had other options." She turned around slowly in the water to face him. "So, tell me what happened with Megan."
"I thought that was too good to be true. Here comes the grilling."
"I'm not grilling you. I just want to know." Ellie shrugged. "Caitlyn was there. I suppose I could just ask her for her version, if you don't want to tell me. That's always fun."
"Fine!" He splashed a bit of water in her direction, but she laughed and dodged back just in time. He slowly started walking her through his night, and ended up giving her a slightly more coherent and detailed summary of the evening than the one he'd given me earlier. I suppose it helped that he was sober now.
For her part, Ellie didn't get judgemental or sarcastic - she just let him finish, with a contemplative look on her face. "At least you didn't get punched in the face."
"I know, right?" Jamie said with a broad smile. "I have a nice face."
Ellie rolled her eyes, and turned to me. "Should we eat? It's nearly lunchtime."
"We could order a pizza."
"You're always ordering pizzas. I'm so tired of pizza." She sighed.
"There's a grill out here." Jamie shrugged. "We could do hamburgers or kebabs or something."
"That seems fun," Ellie said. "Jay?"
"Yeah, I guess. We'll need to go grocery shopping though."
"Okay, let's do it!" Ellie said excitedly. "I'm going to get out. Jamie, look away."
"Why?"
"If you must know, my nipples are probably on full display, and I don't want you staring at them."
"Oh," Jamie quickly turned around. "But why didn't you want Jay to turn around too?"
Ellie and I laughed.
"What?" He asked.
"Nothing." I grinned, and swam over to Jamie, turning to face away from Ellie with him.
She grabbed her bag off the chair and went into the bathroom to change, while Jamie and I finished drying off. I grabbed a shirt from my closet for him to wear to the shops, and tossed it at him. While we were waiting for Ellie, he and I went through to the laundry room to grab his wet clothes out of the washing machine and toss them into the dryer. I paused, once they were in. "Do you think these are safe to machine dry?"
"How the hell should I know?"
"Well, I guess we'll see." I pressed the button and the machine rumbled to life.
Jamie and Ellie made their way towards my car, and I grabbed my phone on my way out. I saw that I had a message from Louis, so I quickly typed out my response while I closed doors behind me and headed out to the street.
Ellie was leaning casually against the passenger side door when I got there. I grinned, and handed my keys to Jamie, hopping in the back. It was kind of nice being driven to places again, and it's not like I wanted to control the music anyway. I was happy to sit in the back, as if I had a chauffeur. Jamie was also a good driver, and I was perfectly comfortable letting him drive my car. And we were about the same height, so he never adjusted my seat or mirrors.
We parked and made our way into the shops, which was a calm and lazy activity. Or at least it had been, until Ellie - a few steps ahead of us - went around the corner into the next aisle, immediately stopped, and walked back towards us, a horrified look on her face.
"Oh shit!" she hissed, grabbing our arms to stop us, her eyes wide.
"What?" I asked.
"It's Gary."
"That Gary?" I manoeuvred myself to the end of the aisle, so that I could casually glance discreetly through the gaps in the shelves.
"Yeah." Ellie bit her lip.
I peeked through the gap, and saw the guy she was talking about. Dark hair, great body, dressed like a skater, in baggy shorts and a loose tank top. Kind of cute, but I couldn't say that in front of Jamie. Go Ellie, though.
"Go talk to him," Jamie said.
"Don't be insane." Ellie looked into the silvery, reflective side of a box of coffee capsules. "I'm not even wearing makeup. And I have pool-hair."
"Pool hair?" I asked.
"It's a thing."
"You look fine." Jamie said.
"Fine?" She raised an eyebrow.
I turned to face her. "You look great. Summery. Casual."
"Really?"
"Yes. Go talk to him."
"Okay." She quickly adjusted her hair and examined her face in her improvised coffee-box mirror. "Okay. You guys go to the meat aisle, and I'll come find you."
"Why?" Jamie asked.
"Just go." She hissed. "I'm not walking up to Gary with two random guys in my wake."
"Wow. Your friendship means a lot to me too." I said, and Jamie snickered.
"You know what I mean." She took a deep breath, and then adopted a very casual pose - much more calm and collected than she'd been a second ago - before striding away from us around the corner. I looked through the gap again, and saw her approach the guy and start talking.
"Come on." I chuckled, heading back down the aisle we'd just come from.
"Cool." Jamie shrugged. "Wait, I want to grab an energy drink. I'll meet you there in a sec."
"Okay."
He handed me the basket, and I slowly made my way to the meat aisle. I had another vaguely nostalgic moment, like the one I'd had the night before, remembering how the two of them had dragged me to Caitlyn's party and then ditched me within a half-hour. This, at least, was a much better place to be on my own.
I turned the corner into the meat aisle - it was a Monday morning, so the shop was relatively quiet. There was only one other person there - a girl, with curly blonde hair. As I approached, she looked up at me, and I felt a shock run through me as I recognised her face. It was Jessica.
If I thought I'd been surprised, it probably paled in comparison to her reaction. Her eyes went wide, and her face drained of colour. She didn't say anything to me - we were still too far apart - but she turned away from me and in a few seconds, she'd paced down to the other side of the aisle and disappeared around the corner.
I froze, wondering if I'd done anything weird as I saw her. That reaction seemed a bit extreme, given that she and I hadn't even really talked since the whole thing with her kissing Eric happened. I certainly didn't feel like I had said anything bad enough to make her outright flee from me in public.
I heard footsteps behind me, and turned to see Jamie, energy drink in-hand.
He nodded to me as he approached. "So what's up with you and Ellie lately?"
"What do you mean?" I frowned, my mind still mostly on Jess's weird reaction to seeing me.
"I don't know. You're both acting different. Are you guys like dating or something?"
I tilted my head. "You think that we're dating, and I'm sending her off to flirt with other guys?"
"Oh, shit. Right. My bad." He laughed. "Maybe you guys are poly or something. I don't know."
I smiled and shook my head. "We're not dating. Why would you think that?"
"I don't know." He shrugged. "The nipple thing, earlier. She's also been talking about you a lot lately."
"Really? What has she said?"
"Uh, just stuff like 'I'm looking after Jay' or telling me to 'Be nice to Jay'."
I groaned. "Ugh, that's so fucking patronising."
"Yep. That's Ellie." He smiled. "So, something up with you?"
"No," I said automatically, then corrected myself, remembering that I had already told him the day before that something was going on with me. "Well, yes, but it's nothing serious. I don't really want to talk about it."
"Ah, okay." He went quiet, and we began to walk along the fridges in silence, trying to settle on what we'd be getting for today's lunch. Neither of us made any suggestions to the other.
It wasn't long before Ellie came around the corner, her footfalls a lot heavier than usual, her brow slightly furrowed. "You guys still haven't decided on anything?"
"Nope. How'd it go?" Jamie asked.
"Fine. None of your business." She glanced at me, and then back to Jamie. "We need a basting sauce. Please go and get one. Just barbecue flavour is fine."
"But-"
"Now, Jamie." She gave him a pointed stare.
"Jesus, fine." He set off.
When he'd gotten around the corner, Ellie turned to me. "He's here with Jess."
"Gary?"
"Yes!" She stomped her foot. "What the hell? Does she plan to go through every guy someone else is interested in, until everyone hates her?"
"Well, calm down. Did they look like they were dating?"
She sighed. "I don't know... Not really. But she looked odd. Like she'd seen a ghost."
"We ran into each other a few minutes ago."
"Oh my. What'd you say to her?"
"Nothing." I shrugged. "She just saw me and basically ran."
"Ugh. Well, whatever. I'm so tired of her. Come on - let's choose some meat and get the hell out of here." Ellie wasn't the kind of person who dithered over choices, so picking up the rest of our list wasn't hard.
She seemed to be in a bad mood, and that really improved the efficiency of her decision-making. Jamie rejoined us, and soon we'd gotten everything we needed, checked out and climbed back into the car to head home. The trip was fairly quiet without Ellie's chatter.
Once I'd dragged out the bag of charcoal and some firelighters, and set all the meat out on a dish, Jamie happily took over, setting up and lighting the fire. The three of us sat with our feet in the pool, watching it catch. When it looked ready, Jamie got up to start cooking. I was a little annoyed - every guy thinks he's the only one who knows how to grill. But I didn't say anything, because I was more grateful than irritated - it wasn't like I wanted to do any of the work.
Ellie and I continued to sit around and lazily chat. At one point, she was contemplating Jamie's back as he worked the grill. "I'm kind of into it when he takes charge."
"Really? I kind of prefer it when he goes with the flow." I settled back, grinning across at her. "So Jamie's in, Gary's out?"
"Yeah, I'm not getting involved with the constantly evolving disaster that is Jamie, thanks. I love him as a friend, but that boy has no idea what he wants," she said in a low voice. Then she groaned in frustration. "But I'm not even sure about Gary now. What the hell was he doing there with Jess, anyway?"
"No idea."
"Sorry. I know it sucks to mention her, after all that stuff with-"
"I'm seriously fine."
"Right." She sighed. "I just... What happened with Eric was shitty. Shitty of him, of course, and I know Gary isn't necessarily Eric, but now we sort of know she's the kind of girl who'd kiss someone else's boyfriend without a second thought. And that makes me worry, you know?"
The topic wasn't making me feel great. I nodded glumly. "I do."
"Sorry." She flinched, seeing my expression. "I shouldn't really be bringing up Eric and Jess right now. I won't say one more word about them." She looked up, and I followed her gaze to see Jamie was moving towards us.
"One more word about who?"
"None of your business." Ellie smiled pleasantly.
"Fine." Jamie scratched the back of his neck, and gestured over at the grill with the pair of tongs he was holding. "Anyway, food's ready."
"Great." I got up, and held out my hand to help Ellie.
We'd gone a bit overboard while shopping, so there was a lot more food than we needed for just the three of us. Jenny - my younger stepsister - was also home for the school holidays, so I went inside to tell her she could join us, and she shyly came out, grabbed a few things and went back inside.
My mom arrived a bit later as well, having picked up the twins from daycare. They enthusiastically ate and then rushed off to go get changed to swim - they weren't going to let us have all the fun. After the arduous process of squeezing the wriggling toddlers into their swimming costumes, dousing them in sunscreen and putting flotation armbands on them, my mom gratefully left us to babysit and retreated to her room.
Jamie and Ellie kept the kids very entertained. He'd stand by the side of the pool, and throw them in when they asked him to, eliciting excited screams and giggles. Ellie would wade around with them and listen to whatever stories they wanted to tell her. Dot told Ellie she looked like a princess, and I almost laughed at how much Ellie's face lit up at that.
I mostly just watched to make sure nothing too dangerous happened, but I never got worried. It was just very fun and wholesome, and I didn't have to think about anything else. Des got tired first, leaving his sister to chat more with Ellie, so he could go watch TV, but then eventually Dot got bored and wanted to join him. After the twins left, I offered Jamie and Ellie drinks, and we sat around the table, chatting aimlessly.
"Okay, I should get going." Ellie said, seizing on a lull in the conversation.
"Lame." Jamie said. "It's not even dark yet."
"I need to talk to someone."
"Who?" Jamie asked.
"None of your business."
"Who do you need to talk to?" I looked up at Ellie, smirking.
She grinned at me. "I'll tell you later."
"You guys suck." Jamie shook his head, but smiled anyway. Ellie let herself out, and I got another round of beers for the two of us once she was gone.
"Gary, right? He's the one she's going to talk to." He took the beer from me.
I shrugged. "Probably, but I don't know. She'll tell me about it later."
"And you won't tell me?"
"Nope." I grinned.
"Why was she so mad after talking to him?" He leaned forward.
"Can't tell you that either."
He sighed. "I hope Ellie is this good at keeping your secrets."
"Trust me, she is." I smiled broadly.
"Well, that's good." He leaned back. "What are you up to now? Want me to take off?"
"No, I'm not doing anything, really." I shrugged. "I'll probably just play video games or something if you leave. So we could just do that anyway, if you want to hang out."
"Okay, cool. Just kick me out when you're tired of me then."
"Will do."
His company was actually very enjoyable - especially now that he had a shirt on, and I could focus a bit better. Not having to deal with constant reminders of Eric, and always being asked how I was doing - which had been happening with Ellie, Louis and Melissa - was also very refreshing. I could deal with it when I felt like dealing with it, and just enjoy my rare break from school in the meantime.
The fact that he'd also just been broken up with - much more recently than I had - was also oddly comforting. He didn't seem to be letting it get to him - he was out here, with us, having a fun day. I wanted to do the same. We finished our beers with the chatter staying on very casual topics, but when I'd gotten back from throwing the bottles away, he was giving me a searching look.
"I'm a good guy, right?"
"Yeah," I said, laughing at the sudden pivot of the conversation. "I'd say you're good. Why?"
"I just feel like you're not telling me about some secret you have with Ellie because you think I might judge you. Or tell someone. Or something."
"I guess I'm a little worried about that, yeah." I shrugged.
"Come on, you can tell me. I won't tell anyone and I won't judge you. I promise."
"I just really don't know how to talk about it."
"Fine," he said. "Can I have three guesses then?"
I smiled, and wondered if he'd land on the truth. I prepared myself to bluff if he did. "Sure."
"Okay. I don't actually have too many ideas, so I'll use my first guess to just make extra sure. So here it is: You and Ellie actually ARE in some sort of modern, open relationship."
"Nope." I crossed my arms, grinning smugly.
"Okay. So this is not my main guess, but I'll throw it out there. You're having a secret relationship with a teacher, and you don't want her to go to jail."
"Definitely not." I was about to ask him which teacher, but then it occurred to me that I probably didn't want to know which one of them Jamie thought would be okay with having sex with a student. Knowing Jamie and his group of friends, one of them might even have had firsthand experience.
"Okay. My last guess is you're sleeping with some other guy's girlfriend."
I laughed out loud at that one. I supposed his guesses were all good things to have been keeping secret, but somehow the idea of myself as some sort of girlfriend-stealing ladies-man struck me as the most funny of the three.
"I don't know, you seem a bit defensive on that one. I think I'm on to something. Besides," He said slyly. "Who's Jessica then? And Eric."
"What?" Oh, fuck.
"Ellie said something about 'Jessica' and 'Eric', I think." He grimaced. "Sorry. I wasn't trying to listen in on you guys, but I just overheard it."
Three or four beers in, I was very relaxed, and probably not at the pinnacle of my decision-making abilities. But Jamie did seem like a good guy, and more than anything, I was tired of tiptoeing around it. I obviously didn't want yet another person to pity me, and ask me how I was feeling all the time. But if anyone could know about what had happened with Eric and not do that, it was probably Jamie. It suddenly seemed like it could be a really good idea to just tell him.
I exhaled deeply. "Eric is my ex-boyfriend."
"Hah, fuck off." He grinned, and looked at my expression, at which point his face got more serious. "Oh shit. Really?"
"Yeah."
"So... you're gay."
"Yes."
"Wow." He leaned back. "Man, I had no idea."
I shrugged, and took another sip of my drink. It felt less stressful now. There was plenty of time to panic about whether he'd tell everyone at school later. I was feeling a bit reckless, anyway, and it wouldn't be a problem for a couple of weeks.
"God, I just want to ask a million questions." He laughed. "But I don't want to be offensive."
"That's a good instinct," I said. "Go with that. You've already found out plenty."
"True, true." He nodded. "So... when did you guys break up?"
"Just over a week ago."
"Oh, shit man. I'm sorry." he said. "That sucks."
I just shrugged.
"At least we can commiserate, right?" he said.
"Right."
"So... you don't want to talk about it?"
"Nope."
"I get that." He shook his head. "I think I'm fine about this Megan thing, but like... It definitely sucks. And I kind of just want everyone to not mention it, you know?"
"I really do."
"I won't tell anyone." His tone went serious again. "About you... being into guys."
"Thanks," I said. "I'm still mostly not telling anyone."
He nodded. "Sun's going down. It's going to get too cold to sit outside."
"Let's go inside then. We can play Tomb Raider or something - if you don't want to go home yet."
"Yeah, why not?"
He grabbed another couple of beers out of my fridge, and we sat down on my couch. I fired up the game, and we started taking turns, passing the controller back and forth for a while. We didn't really talk much, and just quietly focused on the game.
The day had turned out really nice - uncomplicated and casual, just effortlessly hanging out with friends. And now Jamie knew I was gay too, and that hadn't seemed to go badly. He'd pretty quickly gotten over any sense of shock, and he hadn't made it weird yet.
"So did Eric, like, ever... suck you off?" he asked, while it was my turn.
I'd just taken a sip from my beer, and it felt more like luck than anything else that I didn't choke on it, and spray beer everywhere. "That's a little fucking personal, don't you think?"
He smirked. "Hey, I'm just making conversation. I'd tell you about Megan's blowjobs."
"Ugh, no thanks." I turned back to focus on the game.
"I hear gay guys do it much better than girls. Think that's true?"
I frowned. "How the hell would I know? I've been blown by literally zero girls."
"Was he good at it though?"
"Jesus Jamie. Fine." I sighed deeply. "Yes, okay, he was good. But I'm not getting those blowjobs any more. So can we drop it, please?"
"Right. That's fair." He chuckled. "Sorry."
Jamie went quiet after that, and I was a bit worried that I'd pissed him off by being too defensive. I know a lot of guys didn't have hangups talking to their friends about sex, but it still felt kind of weird to me that Jamie knew. But when I handed the controller back to him, he took it from me with a mischievous grin.
"So." He started playing, but then quickly glanced across at me. "Did you ever blow him?"
"Are we still doing this?"
"I could talk about Megan sucking me off. She never tried to shield her teeth. Half of the time it was like she was trying to bite my cock off."
"Holy shit." I laughed at the thought, despite my strong desire to not keep talking about this.
"And she had those long nails... handjobs made it feel like I was putting it in one of those medieval torture cage things."
"Iron maidens. Those weren't real."
"They're real - I've lived it."
That drew a particularly big laugh from me, but no reply.
"So anyway," he continued, "Did you suck his dick?"
"I already told you he sucked mine." I scoffed. "Do you think I'd be rude?"
He laughed softly. "Did you like it?"
Part of me really didn't want to sit here pontificating on the joys of sucking dick to a straight guy. But part of me also just didn't care any more. It was the sort of thing that I couldn't talk about with Louis, who would blush and get awkward, or Ellie, who - god forbid - might gleefully participate in such a conversation.
"Yeah, okay, I liked it."
"Huh. Wild." He kept his eyes on the screen. "What's so great about it?"
"I don't know.... should we really be talking about this?"
"What, like a priest is going to pop out of your laundry basket and shout at us?" He turned to me and grinned. "I'm just wondering. Megan hated it. Or pretended to, or something. Just tell me what you like about it. I won't get grossed out. Promise."
"Okay, fine. I liked the musky smell, and the taste was... a turn on. And I kind of like that his dick would change."
"Like a transformer? Did his dick change into a cappuccino machine?"
"No, you goddamn weirdo." I grinned, shaking my head. "He... got harder when I sucked him, and softer after he came. That sort of thing."
"Ah, right. Did you like the taste of his cum too?"
"So many fucking questions." I laughed. "If you're that curious why don't you just suck my dick, and figure it out yourself."
I'd intended it as a joke - a way of shutting the conversation down - but as the silence stretched on for a few heartbeats longer than I thought it should, I began to wonder if I'd just messed up, and taken it too far. The possibility of something like this happening was exactly why I hadn't wanted to talk about it in the first place.
But then Jamie laughed, and I suddenly wasn't sure that the awkward pause had even happened. Maybe I was just being a bit paranoid - telling him had kind of been a big step, and there was a chance I was just anticipating stress unnecessarily. I did that a lot. But I decided to reel it in anyway, just in case I was actually making him uncomfortable.
We went back to the much safer conversation of navigating the video game. I kept glancing at him to make sure he wasn't freaking out, and I thought I caught him looking at me a couple of times while I was taking my turn at the game. I was on edge - still a little bit worried that I'd weirded him out - and I wasn't playing as well as I could have.
"Theoretically," he began slowly, while I was in the middle of navigating a series of obstacles in the game that had been killing us for a while.
"Yeah?" I thought he was about to offer some input on what was happening on the screen.
"If I did want to see what it was like to suck a guy off, and you let me blow you... That would be like a win-win, right?"
"What?" I fumbled the jump I was trying to make, and Lara Croft plummeted to her untimely death.
He calmly took the controller from me, and began his turn. "I'm just saying that I'd get to find out stuff, and you'd get to cum. Win-win, right?"
"Uh... Right." I pushed myself back on the couch and crossed my arms, fairly sure he was joking.
"And since you're not rude, I'd get a blowjob back, right?" he said calmly. He clearly was taking to the topic much more casually than I was - while successfully navigating a series of obstacles in the game. I didn't know what to make of it. It felt like a trap.
"I guess." I cleared my throat. "Theoretically."
"And you'd like that too, since you like sucking dick, so the whole thing is like Win-win-win-win."
"That's a lot of wins." My mouth was dry.
"Yeah, four wins." He turned his head towards me slightly, smirking. "Theoretically."
"Of course."
My gaze snapped back to the screen. I didn't know if he was joking, or fucking with me in some twisted way. But I was hard as a rock, and very uncomfortable, since I didn't feel like I could adjust myself in front of him without it being very clear what I was doing. So I watched the game, and tried to think about anything else. Nothing came to mind.
"I need a break." He paused the game, and set down the controller. My eyes followed him as he stood up, and I couldn't help but glance at the sliver of skin that revealed itself at the bottom of his shirt as he stretched. I looked away, and didn't quite register his movement until he was standing right in front of me, staring down.
He winked. "Maybe I should try something new."
My brain stalled - I was still trying to process what he'd been saying, and my thoughts were all over the place. But there was no mistaking the warmth of his hand on my knee as he braced himself while he kneeled on the floor in front of me, or the whiff of chlorine and charcoal smoke that drifted off of him as he moved his head forward.
His hand slid gently upwards along my inner thigh, forcing my legs open - meeting no resistance from my muscles, which didn't seem to be under my control any more - and sending ripples of shock roiling up my body as his fingers worked their way under my shorts. He smirked. "Looks like you could use some help down here, anyway."
I nodded - mechanically, involuntary - as he reached up to my waistband and slowly untied the drawstring. Once it came loose, he tugged at my swimming shorts and my hips lifted up, as if of their own accord, and he pulled them away, letting the drop on the floor next to him. My erection sprung out, bobbing near his chin, causing him to smirk.
He fixed me with his pale green eyes while he reached out to wrap my shaft in his hand. I gasped, and he let out a deep breath which hit my skin in a wave of unexpected heat. He began to pump with his hand, grinning up at me. "Nice. I've never touched another guy's dick before. I can sort of see why you like it."
I groaned, closed my eyes and tilted my head back. Shock warred inside me with the sensations that Jamie was drawing from me with the friction of his hand and the warmth of his body pressed against my thighs. I half expected to open my eyes and to have imagined the whole thing, but he was still there when I looked back down.
Jamie Thomas - of all people - between my knees, giving me a mischievous grin and shrugging. "Here we go, I guess."
His face darted forward, and before I'd even had time for another thought, the head of my dick was making its way past his lips, sliding along his tongue, and colliding with the back of his throat.
"Fuck." I let out a loud moan, my breath now coming out in heavy, gasping rounds.
His eyes flicked up to me, glinting with something. Amusement? Satisfaction? Either way, he carried on, getting into a rhythm that kept causing my brain to jump around and latch onto random details - the tanned hue of the skin on his neck, or the muscles tensing in his arm as he braced himself against me.
Another groan escaped me, maybe - at that point I couldn't be sure I had ever stopped. Reaching out my hand, I tentatively threaded it through his short, golden hair, and held his head lightly, following along with his motions as he bobbed up and down on my dick.
The hand he'd had wrapped around my dick dropped down to his waist, where he reached inside his shorts and pulled out his own erection, which he began to pump at furiously. He moaned his pleasure, a humming vibration which reverberated through my crotch, pulsing up and down my whole body.
Involuntarily, my fingers tightened in his hair, and the muscles of my arm tensed, forcing him down further onto my shaft. He gagged loudly, and the sound caused me to loosen my grip immediately, as he pulled away, sputtering slightly.
"Too deep," he gasped.
"Shit, sorry."
"It's okay." He was still energetically pumping away at his own dick, and after a few breaths he dived back forwards and took my entire length in his mouth again.
He immediately got back into a rhythm, which he slowly began to speed up, and up, and up. I was gasping for air, my breaths coming in quick, shallow bursts, as I felt waves of pleasure wash over me, and that familiar pressure building. "Fuck, Jamie, I'm going to cum."
He didn't even look over at me - he just gave me a thumbs up, and increased his speed, yet again. With every raising and lowering of his head I inched closer and closer, and then I was there, moaning so loud it was almost a scream, feeling myself erupt.
He sputtered slightly, but kept his mouth wrapped around me. I saw his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed, and a trickle of my cum ran down from the corner of his lips, forming a drop at the base of his chin. At first, he didn't let go of my increasingly sensitive dick while he continued to pump at himself, eventually pulling back and breathlessly moaning.
"Fuck." His whole body tensed, and I looked down to his dick to see ropes of cum shoot out and splatter my shin, foot and the floor. He shuddered, gasped, and a few last dribbles ran out. He let out a shaky laugh, and looked down at my foot. "Sorry about that."
I nodded. My mind was now a lot clearer, unsurprisingly, but the whole thing felt surreal - sitting here naked from the waist down, with my foot in a puddle of cum, while he kneeled between my legs. I cleared my throat. "Um... there are towels in the bathroom."
"Right, sure." He hopped up, and tucked his softening penis back into his shorts, marching away from me.
I heard the tap run for a couple of seconds, and a few moments later he'd returned with a towel, which he helpfully used to clean my shin and foot. His face was clean, and his hair was wet at the edges. He finished off mopping me up by lifting my leg, and wiping the bottom of my foot.
"My bad." I think he was referring to the mess, but I wasn't sure.
"No problem." I tried to act as casually as I could.
He grabbed my shorts from where he'd tossed them on the floor, and handed them to me. I wriggled into them, while he went to sit down on the couch again and picked up the controller. He got right back into the game, and I watched him play, unsure if I should say anything.
Eventually, the silence grew unbearable, and I just sputtered out the question that was at the top of my mind. "Are you okay?"
I was vaguely annoyed at myself for asking that. Making sure Jamie wasn't going to freak out seemed like a good priority, but the question reminded me of how Eric had been after our first time together. Besides, it wasn't what I was really curious about. What I really wanted to know was why the hell he'd just done that. But I hadn't even begun to figure out how to approach that particular topic.
"Yep. I'm crushing it now. Haven't died once. Good thing I took a break." He turned to me and winked.
Well, fuck. That wasn't exactly anywhere near the response I'd been expecting. I went quiet again, trying to focus on the screen. It didn't work out for me - I caught myself frequently glancing over at him. He started up a casual chat about the game eventually, and even though I was only offering monosyllabic responses, he kept going. Of the two of us, if anyone was freaking out about what had happened, it was me - not Jamie.
"This feels like a good stopping point." He paused the game, putting the controller down and turning to face me. "I should probably go home."
I blinked. "Oh, okay."
We retrieved his clothes from the tumble dryer, and he very unselfconsciously got changed back into them in front of me, although he did face away when he took off his shorts. I sat down at my desk to wait for him to finish, my mind still racing and chaotic. By the time I'd walked him out to the side gate when his Uber arrived, I'd almost convinced myself that I'd just been sitting there on the couch hallucinating the whole thing.
"I'll let you know later this week." He winked. "You know, when I want that blowjob you owe me."
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