A gay bar. A fucking gay bar. All four of us were eighteen, but it felt over the top. Surely you had to move out of your parents house before you could do something like this. It felt like the bouncer should have asked for more than just ID - maybe an electricity bill, or a rental agreement.
My mom had made me give her Louis' number too, which was a bit weird, but I'd told her I was just going to a restaurant and that Ellie would be there as well. I'd asked Ellie to cover for me, because my mom would probably phone her first. Ellie had been very annoyed at not being invited along, but when we'd explained to her that it was Nick's plan, and he'd be there, she got a bit more forgiving. Relieved, even.
"This was a bad idea," I said to Louis.
"Of course. It was Nick's." He winced, and I laughed. "Sorry. Melissa's a bad influence."
We were waiting for Eric and Nick to get our drinks. Eric had told the three of us to sit, and that someone should just help him carry them back once he'd ordered. We were sitting right across the room from the bar, and he was in full view. But Nick had, blessedly, gotten up to follow him around like a puppy. Which Louis and I didn't really mind.
"I can't believe we're here." I said.
"I know. We should be studying."
"Or literally anything else." I smirked. "You major nerd."
He just laughed.
"At least we can talk here." The music wasn't too bad in this particular section, and we might have been forced to speak slightly louder, but we could still hear each other. Not that hearing Nick more was universally a good thing, but I could talk to Louis.
"Yeah, it's nice that the dancefloor's a few rooms away." Louis nodded.
The place was called Hello, Sailor - which I thought was kind of hilarious - and it was a pretty cool, if slightly cramped, place just off the waterfront. It seemed like it had been a house once, or a small hotel, just at the edge of the city. The space was split up by multiple tiny doorways. You'd have to rub against strangers a lot of the time to move through the place - an intentional feature, I assumed.
"I really don't want to hook up with anyone." I frowned.
Things had definitely fizzled out with Jamie, and I'd been pretty much the horniest I'd ever been in my life. The thing with him had started relatively soon after my breakup with Eric, and after that had ended, I was suddenly staring down the longest period of celibacy I'd gone through this year. Nick had been hinting that Louis and I should find guys while we chatted in my car on our drive into the city, so it was at the front of my mind.
But there was no way I was going to try and make out with a stranger in a bar. Least of all in front of Eric and his new boyfriend. That didn't feel like winning. Unless the guy I found was an absolute god, I suppose. Even then, I'd half-heartedly volunteered to be the designated driver, so I wouldn't be drinking. That was hardly the recipe for me having the confidence to talk to and kiss attractive strangers.
"Yeah, me neither." Of course Louis would say that.
He could easily have found someone though, if he'd wanted to. He looked amazing - he'd been at my house before we left, so we'd both been styled by Ellie, who'd made the two of us promise we'd take her to a gay bar one day. So long as Nick wasn't there. Louis had also worn his contact lenses for the occasion, and between the lack of glasses and Ellie's expertise, he almost looked like a different person.
I was reminded of Marc, who I'd had a crush on, and used to hang out with a lot. Louis kind of had the same colouring - brown hair, brown eyes - and a light sort of tan that seemed to stay the same, year round. It was why I'd avoided talking too much to Louis before stuff with Eric had happened. He and Marc could have been brothers. But Louis would have been the smarter one. And probably the better looking one, too.
His features were sharper, his lips a bit fuller, his eyes a bit more lively and intelligent. I'd never explained a joke to Louis, the way I had to sometimes with Marc. I could make a Lord of the Rings reference, or a philosophy-based pun, and I could always tell Louis had gotten it. A corner of his mouth would turn up, a dimple would appear, and his eyes would glint with amusement. You could tell he wasn't just pretending to understand.
He nodded over at Eric and Nick. "They seem to want to."
I blinked. I'd mildly zoned out for a second. "Want to what?"
Eric was chatting to the bartender, and Nick was reaching over the counter to play with the guy's necklace. The bartenders here wore only tiny pairs of navy shorts with white stripes at the hems. Sailor theme, but as gratuitously sexy as possible. No one seemed to be complaining, though.
The one that Eric and Nick had been talking to was pretty much the archetype of what most of them looked like. Buff, smooth chested and lightly tattooed. Derek - I knew the guy, and I'd finally remembered his name - had a bit of barbed wire inked around his upper arm, and if I was remembering properly, a tribal pattern on his left shoulder blade. Edgy.
"Hook up with someone. Together. Eric's told you they're open, right?"
"Right." I shifted. "Yeah. It came up. I didn't have Eric pegged as the poly type."
Louis grimaced. "He's not. It's a Nick thing. We had a whole... discussion about it."
"Does it get tiring, being everyone's life coach?" I grinned.
"Nah." He shoved me gently with his shoulder. "Eric's more exhausting than you. Being your life coach is easy."
"Thank you." I beamed. "They're wasting their time with that bartender though."
"You think?"
"Yeah, he's straight."
He laughed and narrowed his eyes. "And how would you know?"
"I suppose I can't be one hundred percent sure." I laughed. "But he's married to a woman, and they seem happy. I used to do karate with him. He says he flirts with any gay guy that looks rich because then he gets good tips."
"Wow. Aren't you worried about him recognising you?"
"Not really. It's been a year since I quit, and he's pretty self-centred, so he might not even remember me. Anyway, there's got to be zero overlap in our social circles. He's like thirty."
"Yikes. Is this his full-time job?"
"He calls himself a DJ." I smirked. "So yes, probably."
Louis laughed, and Nick and Eric came back with our drinks - non-alcoholic for me, sadly. I was going to have to tolerate Nick while completely sober. It wasn't so bad at first. Nick seemed to need to drink to open up, so he only started getting talkative once the first drinks were done. Maybe I was distracted, but he wasn't being as annoying as the first night we'd met him - but that was possibly a low bar.
Besides, it was my first time at a gay bar, which meant something. While it had the unfortunate affliction of being a bar, I was all on board for the gay part. Even if I didn't really want to pick up a stranger, it was nice to see guys kissing and flirting. Not worrying about what people around them thought. And the bartenders, in their little outfits, were pretty damn cute.
And for company I had Louis. For good company, anyway. Eric seemed a bit sullen, and Nick was getting chattier with each drink, but at least Louis and I could have an entertaining conversation on our own, and give each other knowing glances when Nick said something cringeworthy. There was an annoying moment when Louis insisted on buying the next round, after Eric had bought three already, and he'd left me alone with the others while he went to the bar.
"Look at Louis, being a playa." Nick drew out the last word.
I shifted my gaze to Louis, feeling a vague pang of annoyance at Nick. Louis was at the bar waiting for our drinks, but the guy next to him had struck up a conversation, and the two of them were smiling and calmly talking. Derek put the drinks down on the counter, so I got up to help Louis carry them back.
"I have to go." Louis stammered to the guy at the bar as I walked up.
I smiled and nodded at him as Louis passed me drinks, but neither of us said anything. The guy was cute. Dark hair, pretty face, nice body. He didn't look that smart, and he gave me a fairly grumpy look, so who knew if he'd be a good match for Louis. But I suppose that wasn't always the point if you were picking up someone in a bar. He was attractive, which I suppose is what mattered.
"See you around later then." He smirked at Louis.
"Nice," I said as we wove our way back across the room.
"Oh, that was nothing." Louis shook his head slightly. "He just thought he recognised me from somewhere, but we worked out that he couldn't have."
I raised my eyebrows. "I think that might have been a pickup line."
"What?" He blushed. "No, come on. I sincerely doubt it."
I just shrugged, and laughed a little.
"Okay, shut up." He nodded at Nick and Eric. "I'm not talking about it with them."
"Fine." I bit my lip.
We sat down, and handed them their drinks.
"So..." Nick wiggled suggestively on his seat. "What was that about?"
"Nothing." Louis went bright red.
"Come on, what did he say?" Eric asked.
"He was a Jehovah's Witness," I said quickly. "He wanted to know if we'd heard the good news."
"And we had," Louis smiled at me. "Two for one special on tequila shots."
Eric and I laughed.
"You guys are weird." Nick said.
"You like it." Eric said, grabbing him around the waist.
He pouted. "Hmmmm, maybe."
Nick leaned in and started making out with Eric. I looked at Louis and rolled my eyes. He quietly laughed.
"Okay, enough of that." Eric pushed Nick off. "I want to have my drink."
Nick brushed his hair aside calmly, but I wondered if I'd caught a hint of a dark look flashing across his eyes.
The conversation that night wasn't great. Nick seemed frustrated that we just wanted to sit around and talk instead of dancing, and it took Eric quite a while and quite a few drinks to warm up and start acting normally. Even once it got going, Louis, Eric and I chatted like usual, but sometimes Nick would drop in a non-sequitur and plunge us into an awkward silence.
Eric also kept being anti-PDA with Nick, which was really odd, considering where we were. I suppose it would have been annoying to bring Louis and I out somewhere just so we could sit there and watch him make-out with his new boyfriend, so maybe he was aware of that. It was still really awkward to keep seeing Nick paw at him and be constantly brushed off. Hard to watch, but impossible to look away.
Louis and I were mainlining our drinks the whole time, which had its effect on him. Unlike me, he was actually drinking alcohol. We both had a habit of nervously sipping our way through painful lapses in the conversation, and there were plenty of them. Louis, at least, got to loosen up and enjoy the evening more. I stopped following the conversation. Most of it seemed to be Nick focusing his energy on telling Louis to go find that guy from the bar. It wasn't really going anywhere.
"I don't want to hook up with someone. I'm perfectly happy focusing on school, thank you." Louis laughed, but I could see the muscles in his jaw tightening.
"FINE." Nick scoffed dramatically. "What about Jason then? Who are we wrapping him around?"
"Jay's fine too." Louis frowned at Nick. "He has a secret lover."
Eric's eyes flicked over at me. I gave Louis an annoyed look, and he grimaced.
"WHAT secret lover?" Nick laughed.
"Louis' drunk. He doesn't know what he's talking about." I shoved him playfully.
"I am." To illustrate the point, he'd swayed after I'd pushed him, and then collapsed back onto the couch. "Maybe I heard Jay wrong. Maybe he got a new cover. For his phone or something."
"Yeah." I nodded. "I have a new phone cover."
"You don't use a phone cover." Eric said.
"I told you, it's a SECRET cover," Louis said. Eric and I laughed.
"You guys are weird." Nick frowned, but then perked up. "We should dance."
"Oh, Jay and Louis don't really dance." Eric said.
"I'll dance if Jay does." Louis smirked up at me.
"Nope." I crossed my arms.
"Oh, COME ON." Nick walked up to me, and grabbed my arm. I tensed. "PLEASE, Jason. For me. I'll make sure a cute guy kisses you."
"Nick-" Eric began, but I cut him off.
"Fine, I'll go." I looked at Nick. "But if you try to make me kiss someone I'll throw you through a window."
"Yes!" Nick said, and spun around, weaving through the crowd. Eric shot me an apologetic glance, and took off after him.
"Called your bluff." I smirked at Louis.
"I know. Damn, guess I have to dance now." He smiled, and we got up. "Sorry about the secret lover thing. I was trying to get him off your back, but that was a bad choice."
"I don't know what you're talking about." I grinned. "But please don't tell people about the things I do in private with my phone."
He laughed, and grabbed my arm as we wove our way through the rooms to the dancefloor.
Dancing, as it turned out, wasn't terrible. I'd never really enjoyed it, but Louis was there, so I wasn't the only one shuffling awkwardly on the floor. Nick was ridiculous, but kind of fun. What he lacked in actual ability he made up for in pure joy. I suspected that eventually I'd need to take a break, to think of new things to do with my arms, if nothing else. But I wasn't having the worst time.
The primary advantage, of course, was that the music on the dancefloor was so loud you had to shout in someone's ear to get them to hear you. The segmented rooms had made conversation possible, so long as you were two or three doors away from the speakers. But here, it was deafening, which meant we didn't have to talk to Nick. I could begin to see why some people might consider the noise of a dancefloor pleasant.
A guy showed up and started dancing with our little four-man band, and when the light hit his face I was sure it was the one Louis had been talking to at the bar. He smiled at Louis, and shouted something in his ear, but I couldn't hear it over the music. Louis shouted a response, and looked over at me nervously. I gave him the thumbs up, and he shrugged. We kept dancing.
Eventually, it became clear - to everyone - that this guy was really into Louis. He was dancing in close, putting his arms around him, and they shouted things into each other's ears. Louis was blushing furiously, and not looking directly at him. I smiled at Eric, and he mouthed 'Good for him' at me. I nodded and kept dancing.
A cute guy with tanned skin and an artful piling of black, curly hair popped out of the crowd and hugged Nick. Nick laughed, and pulled him round to Eric and shouted in both their ears. They shook hands awkwardly.
Nick leaned over and shouted something in the new guy's ear. He looked over at me, smiled, and then shouted something back. Nick grinned, and grabbed the guy by his arm and dragged him over to me. Nick grabbed my arm too, and sort of shoved us together, and then just backed away, still dancing. I gave my new dance partner an awkward smile.
"Hi, I'm Tyler." He shouted over the music.
"I'm Jay." I shouted back.
"Nick says your name's Jason."
"Yeah, it is. But everyone calls me Jay."
My eyes flicked to Louis. I couldn't wait to laugh with him later about the fact that Nick had just tried to force his friend on me. But Louis looked more than a little uncomfortable, and I wondered if anything was wrong. His guy seemed cute, so I didn't know why he had an expression on his face like he'd rather be anywhere else. Maybe he was just feeling self-conscious because he didn't want to mess it up.
"My ex's name was Jason." Tyler grimaced. "Not a good guy."
I tried to be sympathetic, but I'd always hated it when people called me by my full first name. It wasn't exactly a great way of winning me over. "Oh, sorry to hear that."
"You could make it up to me." Tyler leaned in, clearly doing his best to shout seductively into my ear. It did not work.
"Yeah, I don't feel guilty about whatever your ex did, man." I leaned away, and clapped him on the shoulder. 'Man'? I didn't quite know why I was talking like Jamie. It had probably been a good thing that we'd stopped hanging out so much. Next thing I knew, I'd be winking at everyone all the time.
Tyler just laughed loudly, maybe a little nervously, and kept dancing. I turned away from him slightly. It wasn't that I didn't find him attractive. Maybe it was because he was Nick's friend, so I felt we were already off on the wrong foot. Or maybe it was his weird attempt at a line that blamed me for his ex's behaviour, because we happened to share a name I barely even used.
But it was probably just that I was suddenly very worried about Louis, who by all means should have been enjoying himself, but looked kind of miserable. It had gotten to a crisis point. I could see the guy's hungry expression, as he looked directly at Louis and moved his head towards him, going in for a kiss.
But Louis flinched - he actually, visibly flinched - turning his head away. Second later, he'd disentangled himself from the guy's arms, and marched out the room. The guy looked annoyed, but then shrugged and carried on dancing with us.
"I need to go check on my friend." I shouted at Tyler, and followed after Louis.
The cold night air made my skin tingle as I stepped outside and spotted Louis sitting on a padded bench next to the entrance. I lowered myself down next to him.
"You okay?" I asked.
"Yeah, I'm just-" He sighed. "I don't know. Sorry."
"Sorry?"
"For causing a scene, and being weird. I just wasn't into it, and I didn't know how to... extract myself from the situation gracefully."
"Listen, if it's a choice between making a scene or kissing a guy you don't want to kiss, you make a scene, okay?"
"Yeah, okay." He smiled. "Thanks."
"No problem."
"I think I'm going to try and catch an Uber home." He crossed his arms and buried his head in them.
"Don't be ridiculous. If you're leaving, I'm leaving."
He turned his head to face me and grimaced. "I don't want to ruin your night."
"A night that involves Nick and zero alcohol?" I raised my eyebrows.
"Yeah." He nodded. "It's your first time at a gay bar. And that friend of Nick's was pretty cute, right?"
"Tyler?" I scoffed. "Fuck that guy. He wanted me to blow him because I have the same name as his ex."
He laughed softly. "What?"
"Okay, I think he was trying to be cute or something. But it was awkward and just... No. Not interested." I nudged him. "Besides, I'm trying to make good choices now. How could anybody who's friends with Nick be a good choice?"
He shook his head, smiling. "That's a little unfair, but I get your point."
"I'll let the happy couple know we're going. Don't run away or anything, or I'll freak out and call the police."
"Okay, I promise."
I grabbed him in a quick hug and got up. Once I got back inside, I noticed with a wry sense of amusement that Louis's rejected suitor - whatever the hell his name was - had started making out with Tyler. Eric and Nick had moved to the edge of the dance floor. Maybe I was imagining it, but Eric looked kind of tired, and Nick seemed almost unhappy.
I nodded to the doorway, and they followed me into a quieter room. "Louis and I are going home now."
"Oh boo." Nick crossed his arms and pouted.
"You guys okay with catching an Uber?" I asked.
"Or..." Nick said. "We can all just go back to Eric's place. No one's home, so we can drink and hangout in the hot tub or whatever."
Eric frowned, then shrugged. "Uh, yeah. I guess that's fine. Unless that's like... weird for you or something."
It felt like a challenge. The last thing I really wanted to do was to hang out somewhere more private with Eric and Nick. But the way he'd put that... I had to show Eric, again, that I didn't care. Especially since I'd realised that I did care, at least a bit. I still didn't want him back. But every time it seemed like he was pitying me, I felt an annoying twinge of rage. It was right up there with lust, in the list of things which derailed my ability to make good decisions.
"Sure, why not?" I shrugged, as if it was all the same to me.
Louis was still sitting where I'd left him. I held out my hand, and he gratefully grabbed it and pulled himself up. The four of us walked back in silence to my car.
"Do you want to come back with us to my house, Louis?" Eric asked. "We're going to keep drinking and hang out in the hot tub. You can stay over in one of the guest rooms."
"No, I can't. Sorry," Louis said. "I've got to do something with my mom tomorrow."
"We'll just take you home then." I tried to keep the disappointment out of my voice.
I'd been somehow hoping he would have come with us, but he was clearly having an off night. The last thing I wanted to do was try and pressure him into hanging out more with Nick, of all people. It did mean I was on my own with those two, though. Which wasn't ideal, but it seemed too late to back out.
When we got to Louis' house, I turned the car off and walked with him to the gate. I gave him a hug as it started to open. He put his arms around me and squeezed back tightly, putting his head on my shoulder.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"Yeah." He pulled out of the hug, nodding. "What's that you're always saying? 'I hate it when people ask me that'?"
I laughed. "Yeah, well. I'm a mess, and you should not emulate me."
"You're not a mess. You're the best." He grinned. "And yeah, I'm okay. Worry about yourself - you've got a long night ahead of you, hanging out with those too."
I looked back to the car. I'd thought they'd be making out, but Eric had climbed into the front seat, and it didn't look like they were even talking.
"Oh god, what have I done?" I groaned, and Louis chuckled.
The gate started to close, but he quickly dashed over and triggered the sensor, and it rolled to a stop. "Okay, I should really head in, or my mom is going to come out here and yell at me."
"Good night."
"Good luck." He smirked.
I rolled my eyes, smiling, and got back in the car. It seemed like they'd been quiet for a while, and I immediately felt uncomfortable.
Eric cleared his throat as we got back on the road. "Jay, you can stay in the guest room if you want."
"Thanks, but I think I'll just walk home afterwards. It's not far."
"You can leave your car in the driveway if you want to drink." He shrugged.
"Um, thanks, but I was thinking I'd just drop you guys off, park at home and then walk over. My mom won't check on me that way."
He nodded. "Oh, that's a good idea. We'll walk with you."
"Do we really have to walk?" Nick groaned irritably.
"Fine." Eric shrugged. "Let's drop Nick off at my house, and then I'll walk back with you."
"No, it's okay." Nick leaned forward into the space between us, bracing himself on the backrests. "I'll walk with you guys."
We lapsed into another silence after that, and Nick flopped back into his seat. I turned on the radio, so at least we had music for the drive home. Once we'd gotten out of the car, Nick seemed really determined to fill the silence, so though the walk was short, he'd still managed to get in a good half-dozen non-sequiturs on the way. By the time we'd arrived at Eric's house, I was glad I'd be able to start drinking.
We grabbed a bottle of tequila from the bar, and Eric went to the kitchen to retrieve some lemons and a salt shaker. Then we headed to the hot-tub that sat just outside Eric's room. He and I had never really used it when we'd been dating, so it was kind of nice to get to, at least once. And after the two tequila shots I'd had before we'd gotten in finally took effect, even Nick seemed like remotely bearable company.
"Nick, watch this." Eric handed me a shot of tequila. "Drink it."
I brought the shot to my lips and downed it, letting out a satisfied sigh.
"See? No flinching." Eric said, chuckling.
"Fuck, that's terrifying." Nick laughed. "Are you even human?"
"It's fine. It's just tequila. Nothing to be a baby about." Honestly, I kind of liked the taste. It was bitter and it burned, sure, but if you were drinking good stuff - and, of course, Eric's family had the good stuff - then it was fine. Nice, even.
They both took their shots, flinched, and rushed for the lemons and salt.
I laughed. "Weak."
"I want to see you do it again." Nick handed me another shot.
"Fine." I shrugged, and threw it back.
"Again, again," Nick chanted, giggled, and poured me another.
I laughed, and drank.
"Enough, Nick." Eric said, grabbing the bottle and putting it down. Nick pouted, and I tried to ignore the awkward tension between the two of them.
The hot tub was amazing. You could hear the sea from the little garden where it was situated, and it was sheltered enough that the cold wind didn't ruin the warmth too much. Steam floated gently off the surface, and between the humidity drifting against my skin and the fiery warmth of the liquor inside me, it almost felt like I was floating through a dream.
Nick and Eric both had pretty nice bodies, too, so I was even enjoying the view. I'd definitely had enough tequila to no longer feel too self-conscious about looking. It was a pretty stark contrast - Eric had always been kind of bulky and pale, while Nick was swarthy and wiry. I knew both of them worked out a lot, and it showed - they both had very defined muscles, even if Eric's were bigger. Not quite the show of the bartenders without the matching uniforms, but it wasn't bad.
I was missing Louis quite a lot. Even with alcohol in my system, and the pleasant, relaxing atmosphere of the hot tub. Without him, all I had was my awkward accord with my ex, and my even worse fresh-acquaintance with his new boyfriend. I probably wouldn't have had a great time anyway, given the situation, but Louis being there would have made it much more bearable.
"So Jay," Eric said, leaning back. "What's that stuff about a secret lover?"
I tilted my chin up and smiled. "No comment."
"So there is a guy?" Nick asked.
"It's fine, if Jay feels weird about it, he doesn't have to tell me."
There was that word again. Weird. Jay feels weird. I wondered if he was doing it strategically, because every time he said that, I just wanted to do stupid shit to 'win' the breakup.
"There is a guy."
'There was a guy' would have been more accurate, but I was working towards a goal here, even if I wasn't quite sure what. Jamie was still maintaining radio silence, but I couldn't quite rule out that he'd get back to me in the future. So what I'd actually said had seemed true enough. Even though I'd be incredibly unlikely, at this point, to want to do anything with him again. I was done with guys who didn't know what they wanted. Or telling myself that, anyway.
"Is it Louis?" Nick asked.
"What? No." As if Louis needed my bullshit in his life. "It's a guy from school."
"SERIOUSLY?" Nick splashed gleefully. "Who?"
"I can't tell you."
"Booo." He laughed.
Eric looked up at me sharply. "Is it Jamie?"
I was too relaxed to react fast enough to give anything away, and luckily Nick spared me the trouble of responding by immediately letting out a loud snort.
"Jamie? Jamie Thomas? Don't be fucking ridiculous." He chuckled. "Jamie's got a new girl every week. I mean, YUM. But no way he's doing stuff with Jason."
Eric shrugged.
"Why would you even think of Jamie? How do you even know him?" Nick poked him in the ribs.
"He came to Jamie's birthday party with me." I smirked. "He got jealous. Thought he was flirting."
Nick frowned at me. "Flirting? Why?"
"He winked at Jay." Eric shrugged.
"Oh god." Nick rolled his eyes. "Jamie winks at everyone and everything. Girls, guys, ancient librarians, fire hydrants. He's got like... a sexy twitch. He can't help it."
"Whatever." Eric sank into the water. "Forget I brought it up."
"Done!" Nick turned to me, beaming. "I want to hear more about Jason's hookups with his secret lover anyway. How are they?"
"Good." I nodded, laughing. "A little weird."
"Why?" Eric asked.
"He never wants to kiss me." I glanced at Eric, wondering if I should clarify. "Even though we've sucked each other's dicks."
"Sounds like a straight guy." Nick said. "Fuck, that's so hot."
"He's not straight if they're blowing each other." Eric said sceptically.
"Whatever." Nick said dismissively. "Blowjobs and no kissing is still a straight guy, in my opinion. It's not like you topped him. Right, Jason?"
I blushed.
Nick looked overjoyed. "Oh my GOD, what? You fucked him? Seriously?"
"Yeah, okay." I sighed. "Just once though."
"Wow." Eric gave me a strange look.
"Did you like it?" Nick asked.
"Yeah." I shrugged. "It was good. It was hot."
"Did he like it?"
"Yeah." I blushed again. But something in me knew this was making Eric uncomfortable, and really wanted that, so I carried on. "He came without touching his dick."
"Holy fuck, that's amazing. I wish Eric could do that to me." He laughed.
"Hey!" Eric looked horrified.
"Sorry." Nick shrugged and smiled.
"So you guys do that?" I asked. Bad idea, but oh well. The alcohol in my system wanted to know.
"Oh yeah, all the time." Nick said. "Eric's got a nice dick. You know that."
"We should have more shots." Eric said, a little loudly, and grabbed the bottle again to begin pouring.
I couldn't tell if I was winning or not, so I consulted more tequila about it. When Eric didn't get up to pour another round after a few minutes, I grabbed the bottle and took a swig directly from it, causing Eric to frown and Nick to whoop.
"I'm uncomfortable." Nick smiled, and his hands slipped down to his waist. He wiggled his way out of his swimming shorts, pulling them out of the water triumphantly.
"What are you doing?" Eric sounded horrified. "Put your shorts back on."
"No." Nick flashed us a mischievous grin, dropping them on the floor next to the hot tub. "You guys should take off yours."
"No. No way. Absolutely not." Eric looked over at me.
The whole situation had begun to strike me as vaguely funny, and Eric's discomfort was just delightful. Patronising ass. I kind of wanted to ask him if we were making things too 'weird' for him. That, and I'd had enough tequila that being naked around these two hot guys didn't seem like such a terrible idea. I took another swig, and set the bottle back down on the table behind me.
Settling back into the water, I reached in and pulled my shorts down around my ankles, wriggling out of them and grabbing hold. I lifted them out of the water and, making eye contact with Eric, dumped them on the ground next to Nick's.
"Yes! Jason's the best." Nick laughed and shifted up next to me, sliding his arm around my shoulders. "Come on, Eric."
"Yeah, come on. Eric." I put a strong emphasis on his name, and grinned broadly.
"Fine." He stood up to tug his shorts down, his semi-erect dick bouncing out free for a few seconds before he stepped out of them and sank down beneath the bubbles again.
Nick had moved his hand up to my shoulder, and was sort of gently massaging it. It felt really nice. Usually I'd tense up if someone I didn't like was touching me, but I guess I had left that reflex behind around the time I'd started drinking directly from the bottle.
Plus, for all his shortcomings, Nick was... not unattractive. His big brown eyes were staring directly into mine, his slick, black hair tumbling over them whenever the breeze ruffled it. I could feel his bare hip pressed up against mine, which only got me thinking about the other things our shorts were no longer covering.
"You have such nice eyes. So green. I don't think I know anyone else with green eyes." He smiled at Eric. "Doesn't Jason have pretty eyes?"
"Yeah," Eric said softly. "Jay's eyes are amazing."
"So amazing." Nick leaned forward and kissed me.
It should have been a shock, but it wasn't. Or, at least, the part of my brain that was shocked was no longer actively participating in the evening. I just let it happen. He was a good kisser, and he had nice, full lips. But he was a smoker, so his mouth tasted like an ashtray, but minty. Menthol cigarettes. Of course. I chuckled.
"What?" He pulled away.
"Nothing." I looked over at Eric. "Nothing at all."
I felt like I could read various emotions in his face - surprise, annoyance, anxiety, jealousy. But above all of that, I could tell he was incredibly turned on. I'd seen that look many times, and the other flickers of emotion on his face weren't winning the battle.
I don't know why I did it. Maybe I'd had too many tequila shots. Maybe I thought I was still winning. Maybe I liked that Eric was watching, horny and conflicted, and I wanted to put on a show for him.
Or maybe it was just that Nick was a hot guy, with a body and face that more than made up for his personality, and I hadn't kissed someone really attractive since Eric. So I threaded my arm around the back of his neck, and pulled him in for another kiss.
I picked up more subtle tastes underneath the cigarettes this time. Lemon, tequila, maybe a bit of salt too. He really was a very good kisser, and my tastebuds eventually adjusted to the ashy bitterness with its hint of mint.
"Eric never mentioned your eyes." Nick said, pulling away with a mischievous grin. "But he did mention some of your other... features."
His other arm swung around in the water to grab my dick, which was already hard. I groaned and closed my eyes, feeling him stroke me under the bubbling surface. I heard a sloshing nearby, and looked up to see Eric had moved to sit right next to me on my other side.
"Is this okay?" He put his hand gently on my back.
I didn't say anything. I just looked into his eyes and nodded. He smiled, and leaned in to kiss me.
The sensation was almost overwhelming - Nick's hand stroking up and down my shaft, while Eric's lips were on mine, his tongue in my mouth. I usually worried about not cumming too quickly, but that seemed like a minor concern compared to how I felt at that moment. I thought I might spontaneously combust.
Eric ran his hand along my chest as we kissed, and Nick watched us with rapt attention as he pumped away at my cock. I wanted to explore both of them, so I ran either hand down each of their torsos, coming to rest on their dicks. I wrapped my hands around them, causing them both to groan. They actually felt similarly sized, and I thought of something and started to chuckle again.
"What is it now?" Nick sounded slightly exasperated.
"Sorry." I pulled away from Eric, who was smiling. "I just remembered a joke about a guy who dreamed he was skiing."
Eric laughed. I don't know if he knew what I was referring to. Not that it mattered. Everything suddenly felt surreal.
Nick just rolled his eyes. "No more tequila for you."
"Should we go inside?" Eric asked.
"Yes." Nick jumped up eagerly.
Nick hopped out of the tub, his erection eagerly pointing the way to the room, and I followed him, feeling uncharacteristically nonchalant about mine. Eric began to deal with the hot tub and the stuff we'd brought outside, as Nick grabbed my hand and led me inside.
He sort of pushed me onto the bed - requiring some cooperation on my part, because he wasn't a big guy, and if I'd resisted even slightly, I wouldn't have budged. I flopped down, and he climbed on top of me, grinding his hips against mine and rubbing our dicks together.
Eric stepped inside and stood there for a few seconds, stroking himself and watching the two of us. Nick reached out his hand, and Eric took it, allowing himself to be pulled down onto the bed next to me.
Eric ran his hand slowly up my arm and across my shoulder, and when it got to my neck he pulled me into another kiss. Nick pushed himself off of me, and I ran my hand along Eric's arm and back while we made out.
I gasped as I felt Nick's mouth inhale my cock. He'd positioned himself over Eric's lap, and he was sucking me off while Eric tugged idly at his cock. He'd occasionally groan, and I felt it reverberate from my crotch up through my body.
Eric pulled away from me, and shuffled backwards out from underneath Nick, rolling away onto the bed. I lost track of what he was doing after that. It was too hard to pay attention to him when Nick was bobbing up and down my shaft, sending an electric tingle through my body with each motion.
But then Eric popped up again, and I almost gasped at the sight of him just shoving his face in Nick's waiting ass. Nick must have appreciated the effort, because he pushed himself down as far as he could go on my cock and gave a low, satisfied groan, which drew a similar noise out of me.
Nick then continued to bob up and down on my cock, while I sat there watching Eric rim his boyfriend. I began to wonder if tequila could cause hallucinations, because it was getting hard to believe this was happening. It never even occurred to me to worry about what I was doing. It felt too good.
"Are you going to do that all night?" Nick asked, letting my dick slip out of his mouth and turning back to Eric. "Or are you going to fuck me?"
Eric didn't say anything, he just grinned at me and stood up, giving Nick's ass a playful slap as he stepped away from the bed. I laughed softly, and he came around to the side table and pulled a condom out of the drawer, which he proceeded to put on and apply lube to - all while staring directly at me. He stepped back around behind Nick, and slicked up Nick's hole before lining his dick up and sliding right in.
Nick grunted deeply when he did, but he kept bobbing up and down on my cock without pausing. Eric began to thrust in and out of him with a slow and steady rhythm, which gradually increased until both of them were covered in a slight sheen of sweat. Something like guilt or worry tugged at the edge of my mind, but Nick was enthusiastic, and that was distracting. Whatever the feeling had been, it was gone again, very quickly.
He groaned and grunted as Eric gyrated against him. Nick wasn't as good at sucking dick as his boyfriend. Maybe he wasn't even as good as Jamie, who had at least been doing it long enough to figure out what I liked. But his vocalisations were amazingly effective, and every sound pushed me further and further. It was a miracle I hadn't come yet. Maybe a tequila-based miracle.
My skin felt like it was on fire, and the whole thing seemed like some sort of fever dream. Drunk or not, I was on my way to cumming. But then Nick stopped, pulling off of my dick, and resting his head in my lap as Eric continued to rail him, occasionally emitting a guttural moan or sharp exhalation.
"I think," Nick said, between heavy pants. "Jason should have a turn."
Eric grinned at me, and nodded to the side table. I extracted myself from Nick, who stayed in position, with Eric pumping in and out of him. I grabbed a condom and rolled it on, and stepped up to Eric. He grabbed the bottle of lube, without pausing his motion, and he squeezed some into his hand and then began to rub it on my cock. I groaned.
He pulled out of Nick, and rolled away onto the bed. I contemplated, for a second, whether I was really going to do this. But my erection was raging, and Nick's hole was pink, wet, and inviting. My brain was swimming, and not in much of a mood to think about anything too much. Positioning myself behind him, I grabbed his hips and slid right in.
I didn't bother trying to work up to a rhythm. I just immediately started going at the pace Eric had set. Nick didn't seem to mind, whimpering every time my dick bottomed out in him. Eric had laid down on the bed, just next to us, and he'd taken the condom off and was stroking his cock, watching us with rapt attention. Nick pulled up his head and looked across at him.
"Hang on." He reached back his hand to stop my thrusting.
I slowed, stopped and slipped out of him as he pulled away from me. He clambered on top of Eric, and then turned around, biting his lip and nodding me over.
I carefully climbed up behind him, my legs grazing Eric's as I lined myself up again and pushed my dick back into Nick's hole. He groaned and collapsed on Eric, who let out an amused chuckle.
I leant forward as I got back into a rhythm. Eric's arm snaked around the back of my neck and pulled me in for a kiss. Nick was panting heavily, and whimpering into Eric's ear.
"Oh god. Oh god, Eric, I'm..."
I felt his body tighten underneath me, and I felt his hole spasming around my dick. My own climax was quickly approaching, and I pulled away from kissing Eric and looked into his eyes. I could tell by the look on his face that he was close too. I'd seen him get like that so many times. It was almost as if Nick wasn't there between us. Like he didn't exist at all.
When Eric grunted in that familiar way, it was too much for me. It had been a while since I'd touched a guy, and images rushed through my head. All the times I'd been with Eric. All the times I'd been with Jamie, too. The guilty feeling resurfaced. What was I doing? Should I have been letting my hormones tell me what to do, again? It was far too late, though.
I felt myself tense up, and unload in the condom. It felt like tiny flames roiling across my skin. I kept still for a minute after the sensation faded, awkwardly propped up above them, and then rolled off and shuffled to the far side of the bed. Nick flopped down off of Eric a few seconds later. Eric closed his eyes, and just lay there, covered in their cum.
"Wow." Nick was panting and looking up at me. "Fucking intense."
"Yeah." I nodded.
The two of us wandered outside and grabbed our shorts from where we'd left them on the deck. We pulled them on and sat down on the two metal chairs next to the table. Nick grabbed a pack of cigarettes that had been lying there, and tipped one out. I grinned. Menthol. Just like I'd thought. I poured myself a shot of tequila to sip on, and looked into the room. Eric didn't seem to be following us out here any time soon.
"He's always so sleepy after sex." Nick flicked the lighter, and held the small flame to the tip of the cigarette in his mouth.
I made sure to seat myself upwind. "I know."
"Right." He nodded, and studied me seriously for a second through the cloud of smoke he exhaled. "I kind of wanted to thank you."
"For what?"
"You've been so nice to me."
I blinked. "Have I?"
"Yes, you have." He took a drag. "You and Louis. Although this was definitely nicer than anything Louis ever did for me." He chuckled. "Eric told me he was very kind, but you were better to me than I think I deserved. I was so surprised when you said yes to coming to the bar with us."
"Oh." I didn't actually know how to respond.
I'd seriously considered saying no, and I'd been so reluctant to deal with Nick that even my desire to prove how fine I was to Eric hadn't been enough. But Louis had told me he'd already been roped into it, and I didn't want to abandon him to the fate of being a third wheel. Especially not with Nick involved. Nick thanking me like this suddenly made me feel really guilty about that.
"I'm not for everyone. I know that." He smiled sadly. "Besides, I'm not an idiot - I know how that movie night went."
I grimaced. "I don't think it was about you, really."
"Whatever. Like... I know this thing with Eric has a time limit, anyway. High school relationships don't last. I can deal with friend drama for the rest of the year, if I have to." He took a deep pull on his cigarette. "God, I can't wait for university."
"Yeah, same."
He looked over at me and grinned. "You know, I was always so intimidated by you."
"What?" I laughed. "Why?"
"You're sort of very... I don't know. Prickly, sometimes. I just remember that time in English where Marc heckled your presentation, and you made that joke about him wanting to fuck his own mother or something. And everyone laughed so hard. Mrs. A actually had to scream to get us all to shut up."
"Oh, right." I blushed. I'd done a report on Greek tragedies, and it was just after I'd figured out Marc was straight. "I was... going through some stuff."
"I think it was like the first time I'd really noticed you, so it just kind of became what I thought of you. Jason's a quiet guy, but don't piss him off." He chuckled. "When Eric told me you were his ex, I was terrified. I totally thought you'd hate me, and be like... a massive bitch about it. And then the way he talked about you... I was just really worried you wouldn't like me."
"Did Eric say I was mean or something?"
"No, nothing like that." He took another drag. "I think it was just that he made it sound like I HAD to impress you, you know?"
"Not really." I shrugged. "Were you trying to impress me?"
"A little."
"You didn't have to. I've always found you fairly impressive."
His eyes widened. "Seriously? Why?"
"Your art, and the set pieces for the play. You're really talented. I could never do stuff like that."
"Thanks." He smiled broadly. "Maybe I could show you my studio sometimes. It's pretty cool."
"Yeah, okay."
"Candace is your sister, right?" He asked. I nodded and he grinned. "She actually really helped me a lot when she was still around at school, you know."
"Oh, was she your mentor in that program?"
"Yep."
Candy had complained about the extra workload that year, but she'd ended up having a lot of fun. They'd even bought each other gifts at the end. It had been kind of sweet. I'd completely forgotten that her 'mentee' had been Nick, though.
"She never got paid for making stuff though, not in high school."
Nick snorted. "Please! I've only gotten paid twice." He waved his hand, sending a snake of smoke twirling in the air. "Plus, it was next to nothing. Barely covered my material costs. I was just kind of trying to seem important when I said that."
"You know, you don't need to try so hard to get people to like you."
"Yeah." He grinned wryly. "It kind of doesn't work, anyway."
"Maybe it's a little bit counterproductive." I tried to keep my tone neutral.
"Dick." He laughed.
"So, with the Marc thing." I wanted to fill the emerging silence, but I also kind of wanted to know what he thought. "Do you think other people think of me like that?"
"I don't know." he shrugged. "Lea does, but I think she finds it hot. She kind of wants your D."
"What?" I laughed. "Seriously? She's barely ever spoken to me."
"Duh. She's terrified. It's what does it for her. She's kind of messed up." He smiled.
That worried me. I barely remembered even doing it, but it had left such a big impression on Nick. And on Lea, too. Marc and I had drifted apart after I had stopped making so much extra effort to spend time with him. At least, that's what I'd thought. Maybe he just didn't want to hang out with the guy who'd embarrassed him so severely in front of a whole class.
"But she's like... totally obsessed." Nick continued. "She'd freak the fuck out if she knew what we'd just done."
He saw the look on my face.
"Oh, calm down, I'm not going to tell anyone. I'm not even out to any of my friends."
"Really?" I would have thought the whole appeal of befriending a group of girls was that you could come out to them fairly easily.
"Yeah. I mean, I think they all know, but we don't really talk about it. Tiff walked in on me blowing a guy once, and I'm not sure who she's told."
"Oh, shit."
"Yeah, it's bad. Plus, her and I aren't really friends, so it's like this thing she has over me now."
"Oh, I thought you and Tiffany were actually pretty close."
He looked horrified. "What? Why?"
"I don't know." I shrugged. "You sound very similar. Use a lot of the same words."
"Oh. That." He sighed. "I was um... She's always like... confident and cool."
"You were TRYING to talk like her?"
"Yeah..." He grimaced painfully. "Another one of those counterproductive things?"
"Yep." I grinned at him and shook my head.
"Noted."
I just smiled, and stifled a yawn.
He set his cigarette down in the ashtray. "You tired?"
"Yeah. I should probably get going. Tell Eric I said goodbye?"
"Sure." He waved. "By Jason."
I cleared my throat. "You can call me Jay."
"I kind of prefer Jason."
"I really don't."
"Oh, sorry." He looked a little taken aback. "I kind of thought it was like a nickname, and it'd be too familiar-"
"More familiar than what we..." I nodded back towards the bedroom.
He laughed. "No, I guess not. Okay, then. Goodnight, JAY."
"Night, Nick."
I grabbed my shirt and made my way back home. Half formed thoughts flitted through my mind on the way there, but nothing coalesced into anything I could make real sense of. Tired as I was, it felt important to have a shower. I was sweaty, and probably needed to rinse off the club, the hot tub, the sex, and Nick's smoke anyway. But I'd kind of been hoping that it would make me feel like a better person.
It didn't, and I was grateful the steam of the shower had clouded the mirror, so I didn't have to look at my reflection on my way out. I threw myself down on my bed, and passed out, slipping into an unpleasant dream where I was yelling at Marc, but then he turned into Leah, and Leah turned into Nick, and the whole time, Eric watched me from the sidelines, his icy blue eyes never blinking.
&color=03a154&style=for-the-badge&logo=google-chat&logoColor=white)
&color=125F9E&style=for-the-badge&logo=vercel&logoColor=white)
