Date: Sat, 15 Jun 2013 08:51:24 -0700 (PDT) From: Aaron Hull Subject: One or the Other: Chapter Thirty Two - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - This is my first story with chapters that I'll be posting on Nifty. I've written others but decided to share this one first. Other stories I have written are Gavin's Got Game, Hayden's Story, Shawn's Turn, Teddy Bear, and the After Party. You can find the first three here in the high school section and the latter two in the college section, all under the gay category. If you have trouble finding them, I am under the Nifty author section as Aaron Hull so you can also find my stories that way. Warning: My shorter stories contain sex. If you like this story, contact me at wah.stories@yahoo.com. I strongly encourage it. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - After I had coaxed Brennan into doing the dishes, we sat and watched TV while I let Macy work her magic and assemble the herd. The fact that Brennan and I were alone made me feel a little weird. Not weird as in bad but weird as in we were living together as a couple. The fact that his head was laying on my lap as we watched TV didn't really help this thought. "You know how you said the world just wants us to be friends?" Brenna asked me. He looked up to me with his cute hazel eyes. "Yeah." For some reason I ran my hand through his hair. I had no logical reason to do so, I just...it felt right. "I think you're wrong. I think the world is trying to say that this is what love should feel like. I mean we get along, we like to be physically close to each other. It's like we're past the puppy-love phase and we're in the true love phase already. I know that may sound kind of weird but that's how I feel." I couldn't disagree with him. With the other guys I've been around, I'm different that what I normally am, but with Brennan I am as me as I can get. I don't feel like I have to pretend to be interested in something he likes that I don't. We're completely honest with each other and we like it that way. The only thing stopping me from asking him if he'd like to fuck is the whole thing with Mason. "Brennan. I know exactly what you mean. It's just...I do still love Mason. I also love Daniel. I don't think I should just jump into something right now. Maybe when things calm down. And I seriously mean that. You're so adorable and perfect for me, I just...I don't think my heart would be in the right place right now." Brennan sat up. I could tell he was hurt. "I understand." That was all he said. He would normally plead his case and tell me why he should get his way but he didn't. I knew how serious it was at that moment. I grabbed him and pulled him into my arms, I could feel him struggle but I'm somehow stronger than him and held him in place. "Just because I want to be friends doesn't mean I don't like cuddling with friends. Like we said a while back. Being just friends but with non-sexual benefits is just easier and less complicated. Give me some time." He stopped struggling. I felt a tear land on my arm. "Okay." I pulled him closer to me and we just sat there. Him quietly crying and me holding him. Macy was successful in gathering everyone. By one-o'clock, her, Emma, Kurt, Daniel, and Kasey were all at my house. Thankfully by this time Brennan and I were completely okay again. I hated that he wanted more and I wanted to remain where we are, but things just weren't right for now. When Macy walked in, she hugged me immediately, she's the only one of my friends who knows about me and Mason besides Brennan. She was the last to show up so everyone saw the exchange. The other four looked at us with concern. I turned to look at them, knowing I had to tell them what had happened. "Guys..." I started to say. I could feel the tears swelling up. "I'm sorry I've but such a horrible friend. When Mason and I started dating I completely ignored you all. And then this past week I've been an ass and evaded everyone and everything. I just wanted to let you guys know why I've been this way." The tears began to fall. Macy gripped my hand and held on tight. "Mason and I broke up." They all gasped. "He apparently knew that Jordan was the one who attacked me and left me for dead by the dumpsters. When I found out, I immediately ended things with him. I could face you guys because I just knew that you all wouldn't take me back. I've neglected you guys. I didn't deserve to have you guys back in my life." I was barely able to get all of that out. Kurt immediately got up and hugged me. I could feel his tears on my cheek. "I love you so much, dude. No matter how much you ignore me and treat me like shit, I will always love you." He let go a little and looked me in the eyes with a smile on his face. "You're like the brother I wish I had." This got all of us to smile a little. Kurt then held me tighter and we just stood there. Most would think it's awkward that two friends would hug like this but what Kurt and I have is special. Once he stepped away, Emma was hugging me. She was also crying. "I know I haven't been around long but you've made me feel like I've been here for years. After the initial awkwardness, you treated me like a sister. I don't know if I could have survived after the halloween party if it weren't for you and a few others," she turned to quickly smile at Daniel. "Just know that I'll always be there for you like you were there for me. And if you need me to, I'll kick Mason's ass." "Don't worry, Megan already did a number on him." I said, holding back any tears and trying to smile. This sparked the conversation on how Megan was the best bitch in the state. Daniel never got up to hug me, he didn't even say he was sorry for what I was going through. He and Kasey just sat there holding hands. I could tell he wanted to though by the look on his face. Every time Kasey wasn't looking at Daniel, Daniel would give me this knowing look, saying "I would kiss you right now and hold you if I could." I know I should have been mad at him for not saying anything, but I'm not that kind of person. I knew if Daniel did say anything, he would say something he shouldn't have and end up hurting Kasey. I always put my friends before myself. That's just the kind of guy I am. -Mason's perspective- This past week has been hell. I've wanted to call Spencer, but I knew that was out of the question. My mom has been trying to re-assure me that everything would be okay but I just couldn't believe that. I had screwed up big time. Like Spencer said, I ruined him life. "Hey..." standing at my doorway was Lily. Out of all the people in the world, she was the last person I thought would randomly show up. "I told you we were going to hang out one-on-one once didn't I?" She smiled and came in. She sat down on my bed and looked at the TV. I've done nothing but lay in but and wallow in self hatred. The only times I would leave my bed were when I had to go to the bathroom or to grab my daily meal, a sandwich and a handful of chips. I was already eating very little because of the Isabella thing but now it's gotten a lot worse. There are some nights where my stomach while growl and it hurts. I don't move though because most of the times I feel like I deserve this pain. "Why aren't you saying anything?" She asked me. I could tell she was concerned. "It's nothing." "Come on. I've seen the way you act at school. Something has definitely got you down and it's not the Isabella thing. Is everything okay with Spencer?" Just her mentioning his name caused me to tear up. "Oh. Megan and Tyler have kept me in the dark so I didn't say his name to hurt you. Will you please just tell me though?" "I ruined things with Spencer. I knew that Jordan was the one who put Spencer in the hospital and I didn't say anything. Spencer hates me now and there's nothing I can do. When I go to school, I either get called a faggot or a good-for-nothing father. I could normally call Spencer and he'd be able to calm me down, but now I just start to hate myself." "I'm sorry." Lily laid down beside me. We weren't touching, which was kind of weird, but it was better since under these covers I was just in my boxers. "You know you can talk to me if you want. I know we're not dating or anything but it sometimes feels good to talk to someone who isn't your best of friend. You don't have to face any consequences that could hurt anyone close with what you say yet you still get to talk about stuff. It helps me anyways." "Thanks. It means a lot that you'd be willing to listen to my problems." It really did, I honestly felt like I couldn't talk to Canyon or Tyler about this sometimes because I felt like they'd hate me. Of course Tyler knew about all of this because like Megan and Spencer, he and I also got letters from Jordan, telling us that he had told Spencer our little secret. "So, what's on your mind?" "Am I a bad boyfriend?" I already knew the answer but wanted to hear it from someone else. "I mean, I've dated five people in my past. My first girlfriend and I were great but then I came out and that ruined it. My second relationship ended because I convinced him to come out with me and that resulted in him getting beat. My third relationship ended because I wouldn't give her what she wanted. My fourth relationship ended because I was in love with someone else. And my last one ended because I withheld information. All of them ended because of something I did." "I know you want to hear me say you're a bad boyfriend, but I don't think you are. You came out because you wanted to be you. You convinced him to come out because you felt it'd be the best for him. You didn't give her what she wanted because what she wanted wasn't what you wanted. You and Tyler didn't work out because you were already in love and there's nothing anyone could do about that. And you were trying to protect Spencer. Everything you've done has been what you thought would be best. It's not like you were fucking around while in a committed relationship." Her telling me this actually made me feel better. I think I might just put on some pants when she leaves. "Thanks." "No problem." Lily smiled. "Tonight Tyler and I are going out. If you'd like to join, we can get Canyon aboard and just hang out as a group." "Won't Tyler be upset you're canceling your date?" "He probably would be. That's why you're canceling our date. It's revenge for what we did to you a while back." This made me smile a little more. I definitely felt like I could actually get completely dressed now and I wouldn't have to stay in bed all day. I don't think Lily will ever know how much her few words have helped me. She'll never know about this either because then I'd be indebted to her for the rest of my life. "Call and tell him the news. I guess I should get out again." -Spencer's perspective- Since none of my friends can drive, we all decided to walk to the park, which isn't too far from my house but still a good distance. There we were going to play some mini golf. We haven't done that in a long time so we decided it was time to go, even though Kasey did not really want to. Going out with this group of friends felt kind of awkward. Daniel and I had a thing kinda and now he has a boyfriend who is in this group. Brennan and I almost had something but I prevented that. Macy and Kurt broke up and even though they are completely fine it still feels a little awkward for me. And then Emma is now obsessed with her new boyfriend so she rarely pays attention because she's texting him. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends, but since the beginning of the year, everything has changed drastically. I just wish I had some sort of stability in my life. "I bet you guys I can get a hole-in-one on this hole." Kurt bragged. This hole seemed to be the hardest in the course and Kurt's previous scores were a few over par, so this was going to be funny. "I'm sure you can." Kasey said with a slight laugh. Kurt did some math in his head, I think it's the first time he's ever done math actually, and hit the ball with his club. To everyone's surprise, Kurt actually did get a hole-in-one. The look of utter shock on his face was the best part of it though. He started to jump up and down and scream with victory. The way people looked at us made us all laugh. "I'm going to be the next Tiger Woods." Kurt exclaimed. "So you're going to screw a bunch of women and ruin your marriage?" Macy asked. You could sense that deep down she still wants to be with Kurt. "Well duh. What else do you think I meant?" Kurt asked, trying his best to be serious. Macy just rolled her eyes, slapped his arm, and continued onto the next hole, obviously not happy. Brennan rolled his eyes as well and followed after her. "What's wrong with her?" Kurt asked. "She's the one who wanted to break up." "Girls are weird." Emma said. "No matter what you say, you're in the wrong. So when she asks you a question, answer the way you think she wants to hear it. Never be honest unless you want to get your ass handed to you." This made Kasey and Daniel giggle. We then heard a shout from a distance. "Hey Kurt!" It was Eric. He was with a bunch of guys on the basketball team. Kurt's face lit up. "Hey Eric!" Kurt shouted back. My gaydar went off immediately and I wondered if something was going on between the two of them. Eric whispered to his group of friends. They all looked over at us and laughed. I didn't like this. Kurt didn't seem to really notice this. Emma, Daniel, and Kasey did though. "Come on." Daniel said as he turned away from the basketball guys. "We should catch up with Brennan and Macy." Emma, Kasey, and I followed right behind him. "But you guys haven't gone yet?" Kurt was confused. "Just come on." I tried getting Kurt to go. "There's no way we could do as good as you so we just give up." Kurt shrugged his shoulders. "Makes sense to me." The five of us then joined an angered Macy and a calming Brennan. "Is everything okay?" Emma asked, directing this towards Macy. Macy didn't look back at Emma. The way she reacted to hearing Emma's voice reminded me of the hatred between the two after the party. "No. Things at home are just...it sucks, okay?" Emma backed off. "Okay. Sorry for asking." Emma was seriously sorry. She didn't want to ruin her friendship with Macy. It had just gotten to the point where Emma and Macy could hang out on their own and get along very well. I for one knew that Macy's home life wasn't that stellar and I knew that what was going on probably had a lot to do with home. But I also knew that there was something else on her mind. For the rest of the holes, we just fooled around and had fun. The only trouble we had was when the basketball team caught up with us. I could hear the occasional fag comment or something along those lines. I don't know if anyone else heard it but I was for sure Kurt didn't. Kurt had become the biggest pro-gay straight guy I've known. Whenever he hears the f word he gets really pissed and threatens whoever said it. Once we had finished our game, with Brennan coming out on top with 20 over par and me a close second with a 25 over par, when I said we fooled around I literally mean we starting getting high scores, we decided to just sit and relax at one of the many picnic areas at the park. It was nice to be outside in the shade and talk instead of being in someone's house for once. I decided to get to the bottom of the Kurt-Eric thing because it was getting on my nerves. Hearing Eric's conversations with his friends pissed me off. I needed to know if Kurt was the butt of the joke or not. The only one who I think would tell me if my suspicions were true was Daniel. Kurt would get pissed at me if I asked and Daniel would be the only other one who'd know. I texted him this: `Is there something going on between Kurt and Eric? jw' "We all need to find dates. Prom is like three months away and most of us are single." Macy said. She had become herself again after we starting golfing again. Daniel: `Yeah. Did u hear what they were saying too?' "Three months is a long time to find someone to go to prom with, Mace." I told her, everyone laughed. "I know. But we need to find people now so we know we're not taking crazy people in three months. Just look at our histories. We aren't good with finding people." Me: `I did. Are you going to tell Kurt about this? I think he should know.' "I agree with Macy." Emma said. "It seems like people just keep coming and going through the group so we need to find stability." Daniel: `I don't see why he should. He's happy with the way things are.' "Well I think I found my stability." Kasey said as he draped his arms around Daniel. The fact that Kasey had his hands all over my man pissed me off. Daniel smiled at this and just rested his head on Kasey's shoulder. "Dudes. You're gonna make me sick." Kurt covered his mouth and pretended to gag. Kasey just smiled and flipped him off. Me: `Eric is talking shit about gays. Kurt deserves someone better than that.' "I'm going to find me a smoking hot girl and she is going to be a cheerleader and a gymnast and a dance and she'll be smart too." Kurt explained what his dream girl would be like. "If you haven't noticed you're the only straight guy here so you're making the rest of us sick." Kasey said with a laugh. Even though I hate Kasey, he and Kurt seem to get along well, which is something good for the group. Daniel: `I don't understand you. You didn't care whatsoever when you found out Mason was talking shit specifically about you. You even kicked a friend out of your house because she was telling you the truth.' Kurt was thinking of a good response to what Kasey had said, but as he opened his mouth to say something, I got up. I looked directly at Daniel. "Fuck you." I was done with Daniel's shit. One minute he'd be nice and the next he'd find a way to rip my heart out and stomp on it. I turned and left. Everyone was shocked besides Daniel, I think he just realized what he had done. Once I was out of the shade, I began to run. I didn't know where to go. I didn't want to go home and I didn't want to bother Mrs. Garrison so I found myself a quiet place near the park and sat under the tree, hoping that no one could find me. I so bad wanted things to be normal again. I wanted all of us to be happy. I miss Lizzie so fucking much. I miss Mason even more. Every day I think of Trey and wonder why I can't stop thinking about him. He tried to rape me yet I still think about him from time to time. My life was nothing like it used to be. All throughout middle school is was just me, Lizzie, Daniel, and Kurt. We were happy and it was rare that someone else would join us. Now everything changes on a weekly basis and I hate it. I truthfully hate my life. "You okay?" I heard. It sounded like Daniel, but when I turned to look the person in the face, it was Kurt. "No." "What's wrong?" Kurt asked as he plopped down right beside me. He grabbed my head and rested it on his shoulder, against my will, and held my hand. It felt nice. Kurt was rarely like this and I knew that when this Kurt came out that I would truly always have him at my side. "Everything." "You're going to have to say more than one word. We both know I'm stupid." I couldn't help but laugh a little. "You're not stupid." "Good! We got three out of you. Or is it four? do contractions count as one word or two?" I could tell Kurt was trying to make me feel better. And it actually was. "It's just that...nothing is the same anymore. I want things to be normal again. Remember when we were three straight guys and a lesbian? Those days were fun and there was rarely any drama. Now we go through friends faster than Isabella through guys." This made Kurt smile. "I know. Is there a specific reason why you especially got mad at Daniel back there. I could tell that you all were texting each other." I really didn't want to be the one who told Kurt the thing with Eric, I just had to though. "I know about you and Eric." Kurt just sat there quietly. "Daniel didn't have to tell me that though. I could just see it in the way you looked at him when he said hey to you." This time Kurt spoke up. "You heard him calling me a fag, didn't you?" I was utterly shocked by this. "Yeah...but..." "I was hoping that you all wouldn't have heard any of that and I could deal with it on my own later. And don't think I am getting any kind of soft. I plan on beating the shit out of him tonight. We were supposed to have our actual first date." "I'm sorry. Why didn't you tell me that you and Eric had a thing going on?" "I planned on telling you. But it's just...you were busy with that one guy and then after you know what I didn't want to be all `I know you're single again but guess what? I have a boyfriend now!' That would have been fucked up." "I see. I'm so sorry that I've been distant recently. You won't have to worry about that anymore." "Good. I missed my Spency-bear. And just to let you know, I start to question my sexuality when I kissed you in the hospital. Not trying to like screw with your emotions or anything but I really did feel something when I did that. It wasn't as strong as when Macy and I first kissed, but at that moment I could tell that I didn't mind kissing guys." I removed my head from his shoulder and looked at him with a smile. "You're welcome. I'm happy I turned you gay." He then did it again. He leaned in and kissed me. This time it was a lot more...loving. Unlike with the hospital kiss, there was real emotion behind this one. I couldn't help but melt as Kurt and I kissed. He then pulled away. "I'm not gay, dude. I still want pussy." I couldn't help but blurt out. "You know how to ruin a perfect moment, don't you?" This caused him to laugh so hard he nearly cried. "Oh. I love you dude. You make my day." He finally gained his composure and pulled my head back onto his shoulder. "Now you need to tell me exactly what Daniel said to you." "Well I wanted him to tell you that Eric was calling us fags but he got pissed and said that he didn't understand me because Mason did the same thing to me and I ended my friendship with Jessie because she was trying to protect me." I couldn't help but let out a tear. "I like Kasey, but Daniel becomes a real ass when he's around. I can't tell you how many times he's brought up the fact that Macy and I aren't together anymore." "Do you still like her?" "No. I think I love her. It's just...whatever is going on at home is really bothering her. She told me she needs space because of all of it so I just agreed with her so we wouldn't fight." "I'm sorry. Why were you going after Eric then?" "Well back at the halloween party, the two me and Macy had a foursome with was Eric and Hailie. Ever since Eric has been trying to hook up with me because he really enjoyed our one-on-one part. When things with Macy ended I caved because I really wanted attention. Hearing him call me a fag made me realize that I don't really even like him. He's just good at sucking dick." "How can I, a known gay guy, get less action from guys that you, a bi guy who recently discovered he likes guys?" "I don't know. But if...you know...you ever wanna like...we could....just friends though." I could feel Kurt blushing. His offer actually intrigued me. I think it actually would be better to lose my virginity to a friend instead of losing it to someone I think is the man of my dreams but then we break up and I hate myself. "Maybe...just maybe." I could feel Kurt's ego re-entering his body. "Trust me, you wouldn't be disappointed." I couldn't help but giggle. Kurt then stood up and pulled me up with him. He pulled me in close so our foreheads were touching. I thought he was going to kiss me again but all I felt was his breathe. "I do love you, Spencer. You mean to the world to me. As long as we're friends, I'll always be happy. And that's all I'll ever want from you. I don't want us to ever date or anything like that because I don't think either of us could actually commit to each other, since I still love Macy and you already have three guys of your own." He then took me by surprise and kissed me. I swear he likes to catch me off guard. He pulled away and immediately started to walk away, tugging me along. "Come along. We must join the other again." - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Every time I read a story of Nifty, I never read the top part, so just in case you are like me and only read the bottom portion if you liked the story, here is my email again: wah.stories@yahoo.com. If you email me, please state what story you're referring to. Thanks for reading the thirty second chapter of my story. :) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -