Yesterday, as Nick had already had a shower at home, and we were watching TV, in no time – as it always happens ...sigh – his dad was home to pick him up and he was gone again.
Gee, I miss him so much and now it's Saturday morning and I woke up so late, geez... in a minute it'll be lunchtime.
I guess that's what happens when I've been so close to Nick every day, every weekend and he was so available, and addictive, and our passion... well, it's all been so `passionate', so `sticky and sweet'... and today he's not available, he can't be with me... they say it's for good, for us to miss each other, and resolve this missing feeling with lots of passionate love afterwards, but for now, I only miss him.
I mean, I can't even dream about it is not having Nick in my life, as for the day, I could go to the park... but it would be better with Nick, for as to animatedly chat all the way. I could go to the mall, but everything I see and like I'll remember Nick, and think I wish he was here to choose with me. I could be home, but it'll be tedious without Nick, on the other hand, if he were here *blush*...
When I realized I was lazily holding the phone against my chest. "No, Peter, you can't call Nick, he's with his family, doing his business, don't be ridiculous, drop this phone back in place." I was mentally kicking myself.
"Mmm... it so can't be a boring Saturday, I mean, c'mon, it's weekend, and it's a sunny weekend!" I was thinking to myself.
"What about Chris, what should be doing right now?! I was thinking to myself..." I know, what a sudden change of train of thought... I guess that what you get when you're doing absolutely nothing!
"Wouldn't I be disturbing... or interfering?" I was thinking. "Nooo, I mean, he wanted to hang out and invited me and insisted all week long... after he came over for us to finish our science project..." I continued thinking. "Mmm.. so I should invite him home, right? No, I don't think so, I mean, I just said [thought] he was here last Tuesday... we should do something else... but what? Ah, I should call him to know if he's home in first place." I was thinking.
"Do I have his number?" I was thinking. "Oh, I do. He insisted on giving me his number, he wrote it on my notebook with his writing `in case we needed to communicate because of the science project, you never know' yes, these were the words he used."
As soon as I dialed I thought "don't be stupid, he shouldn't be home, I mean, he's part of the cool kids... he should be hooking up, or in one of the girls place making out or..." geez, I know all horny thoughts... but it's Nick's fault either for being here a lot getting me used to it or for not being here right now as I'm kinda horny lol.
"Hello?" they replied on the other side.
"Is Chris there?" I asked.
"Peeeter!? Ahem... I mean, hey, Peter, what's up?" he said.
I giggled and he giggled at the same time, dunno why...
"Mmm... hi, yeah..." I just replied.
And there was a silence. I thought "shit, you said you wouldn't invite him home but you don't know where you'll invite him... normal people think that first and only then they dial... however too late".
"So..." we said at the same time.
"Oh, you first." I replied.
"No, you first." he replied me.
"Er... is your father ok?" I asked.
"Yeah, why? Did you mom asked you to call me to know about him?" he asked back.
Like I said before, mom works in Chris father's office, in downtown.
"Nooo, it's not that". I replied. Gee, if it keeps going like this mom will end up fired because... because I'm horny and Nick's not here and... what a kid I am! Gee!. Say something! But not only `something'... `something' not related with other people not to create confusion...
"Ah, the science project!" I exclaimed.
"But... isn't it finished already? We concluded it last Tuesday..." Chris trailed off.
"Yeah... I mean, no... I mean... there are things missing..." I quickly replied, maybe a little too quickly. Gee, Peter, finish this call soon. I don't even know why you called in first place!
"Missing? Like what?" Chris asked.
Gee, he was being so polite with this nonsense conversation I've started. Is he the same person? Did a lightning bolt hit his head? Oh no... it was me, I hit him on the nose just the other day... giggle... and he's being so polite on the phone... and gee, his voice is beautiful on the phone, just noticed it now.
"Er... not `missing missing' you know? I... I thought we could improve it, that's it improve it!" I finished the sentence.
"Like how? What do you suggest, Peter?" he inquired.
Great, Peter, the project is finished `what do you suggest?' I was mentally kicking myself. He giggled on the other side... Great I was being made fun now... but I kinda deserve it... and well, I didn't feel bad, like being made fun of... actually I chuckled back.
"Dinosaurs!" I exclaimed.
"Huh?" he inquired.
"Don't you like dinosaurs? Don't you think they're fun... like cool?!" I asked.
"Yeah... sure... but what does it have to do with our science project?" he asked.
"It's a volcano, right? And it has trees around it, right?" I was saying and he was only saying `aham' on the other side.
"So, I thought we should buy some dinosaurs to put close to the trees, you know?" I concluded.
"Ah, I see. But where can we buy it?" he asked me.
"We could go downtown to look for it. What do you say?" I invited him.
"Cool!" he replied and I could `see' him smiling through the phone.
Actually it was a lot of fun. We ended up going to some toy stores, we bought three mini dinosaurs to put around the volcano model, in the project and we stopped at the parlor.
We were having so much fun I ended up inviting Chris to go home. We decided to go walking the way home.
As we were walking on the way home and the cold breeze hit us, Chris has extremely straight hair, don't know the color exactly, I wouldn't say brown nor red, it was something copper like and the breeze would mess all of it and it would fall exactly at the same position, afterwards. And he has very green eyes and a thin shaped nose... to be honest, when he wasn't trying to be a jerk he was so sympathetic and at the moment he was very beautiful.
"You live close to school. It saves you a great deal of a problem, huh." Chris was commenting.
"Yeah, it saves some time." I replied.
"Look, there's a house for sale." Chris pointed out. It was the house across from home, just on the side of the street.
"I didn't notice it. They should've put the ad there just a couple of days ago." I said. Maybe it was because I'm always so intoxicated with Nick's presence after school and anticipating so much what comes next *blush* when we are approaching home and that ad should be there like for one month and I didn't see it lol.
"Come in". I said as we arrived.
"Excuse me." Chris said and stepped in.
"Do you want some water, juice...?" I asked him.
"Let's go upstairs to `re-finish' our project." I said with a chuckle. Chris just chucked and followed me.
He was sitting on my bed, looking all around and not looking at anything, like `looking at the blank', at the same time, you know.
"It must be hard for you to have so high grades, be a good student, and practice at the football team..." I was commenting while I was settling the project on my desk. But, as Chris was `looking at the blank space' I guess he wasn't listening to me.
"Chris?" I insisted.
"It's difficult..." he started after a pause. "It's not being easy this year, with the guys and there's a lot of homework... and actually, since last season we haven't been doing fine... maybe a lot of it is my failure..." he was saying.
"Hey, I don't think it is true." I replied.
"Well, actually it is... as you said yourself the other day... everybody say that ball I missed during the last game, last season, and the `given touchdown' I missed on the game before that..." he trailed off and shrugged.
`Oops Peter, gr-eat. Change subject!' I mentally kicked myself.
"But I'm sure your dad is proud of you." I continued, to mend the subject.
"Yeah... I guess." he shrugged and looked at the floor.
Gee, a `yes' never sounded so much like a `no'. Well, from what mom says from work, Mr. Dubois is a typical businessman, "he's very strict and direct but deep down he's a good person" in her words. It mustn't be the easiest father to please... far from it I guess...
"But your mother must be very proud... I mean, every mom would love to have her kid at the football team and with a straight-A result during classes". I giggled and smiled at him.
"Actually, mom passed away last year." he replied and looked at me – gee, very green eyes, really... people say some people's eye `change color in accordance with their emotions'... well, this shade of green should a `sad one'. He shrugged and looked at his side for a moment. I don't know whether it was a sad look or a `not belonging one'. Something in his eyes said he felt like he couldn't comment naturally about his mother like the other kids... I don't know whether he felt sad or just kinda ashamed for not having a mother to talk about... probably both.
As he looked at the floor again, he let the toy dinosaurs he was holding in his hands fall on the floor. As he managed a quick reflex to catch them, they ended up right behind my bed.
I must say under the bed wasn't the tidiest place in my room. Actually it had some boxes and notebooks.
"Hey, sorry, my bad. Where is it?" he said as he kneeled beside the bed and put his head under the bed.
"There are some boxes here, let me help you looking for it." I said.
"Got it, got it." he said and was holding the toy in his hand.
I kinda pulled him by the arm and when I realized I was kneeling upon him, both of us on the floor.
"There's some dust on your hair... let me" I said with a smile, and lightly took two or three grains of dust out of his straight cooper locks, close to his face and his ear.
Gee, his green eyes, Peter, you shouldn't be looking so much, so close.
I guess it was because of what he was saying before, I felt an urge to hug him tight, right there and I was already kneeling upon his torso, and I couldn't stop looking right into his eyes.
"Peter... I..." he started.
"I gotta go..." he said and looked to his side, averting his gaze from my eyes. "I better get going." he said, never losing eye contact with the... wall, beside us.
"Ah, okay, sorry." I said, getting up and giving him some room for him to stand up and we went downstairs, for me to open the door for him.
At least, I forgot the urge to call Nick all the weekend long because it wasn't right, he was with his family, or his errands... whatever, I just shouldn't be pestering. But, actually, I wasn't worried about Nick...
I was watching some mellow songs during a Westlife concert on TV as I was thinking about all of it.
"It's Chris preferred band, too." I mentally smiled to myself as I was watching it, alone, at the living room.
"Hey, I missed you." I said to Nick, above a whisper.
"I miss you too." he whispered back.
Gee, his white smile, his peach fuzz cheeks, his cute nose, all with the morning light reflecting and his shining eyes.
"I always get excited when we go to this kind of school trip, you know." Nick was saying.
"Yeah, when we go to the big city..." I completed.
"Do you remember, the last school trip?" he said.
"Yeah... it's when we met each other." I said and giggled. It was some time ago... I mean, not so much, but time passes by so fast... and still I don't know why I was blushing and had to avert my gaze.
"Let's head to the bus. We need to get good seats!" I exclaimed.
"You're kind of in a thinking mood today, aren't you?" Nick asked.
"Nah, I guess it's just your impression." I replied as we were at the city museum looking at and old sculpture.
"Yeah, it's all so impressive..." Nick replied with a smile. He's so cute, what's not to adore?!
"This view..." I was telling Nick as we were at the museum corridor, at the upper floor, following the teacher and the other students. "the square out there... all the squares here in the big city... they're all so immense, the buildings... the people are `different', you know." Nick only nodded.
"Do you think one day... next year, for instance, we should be living here if we get to choose a college here in the capital?" I was partially inquiring Nick, part inquiring myself, actually.
He only shrugged and smiled again at me.
And we stopped in front of a great sculpture... it was a figure of an emperor... or a king... it should be something from Egypt, or Persia... I wasn't really paying attention to the guide's explanation.
"A few things are so mighty in the past, but then.. They pass... Do they really vanish?" I had this question with this feeling inside of my heart.
**Do you guys think I should write about Peter in College? Let me know ; ) **