Date: Wed, 24 Sep 2008 20:52:36 -0400
From: walrus
Subject: the swedish effect, chapter 4

During adolescence, life swears its hatred for you. Consequently, you are
sent on many emotional roller coasters. Whether you are in the front,
middle, or back is decided by fate. On the other hand, whether you are on
the roller coaster at all is decided by you. It's kind of hard to say where
I was on the roller coaster just then, as the white shirt tied around my
leg suppressed the blood that was gushing out of it.

I was not the only person on an emotional rollercoaster, however. As I
watched Rachel and Lily cry into each other's shoulders, and Anna being
held by Alyson, I really started to wonder; what was the point of these
roller coasters? Do they teach us anything, or do they exist merely to
leave us in the wake of depression?

If I had looked into this scene three weeks ago, I would have thought that
it was my mind playing tricks on me. For one, back then, Alister
wouldn't've been able to carry me in his arms like he was now. Back then,
Anna would have rather died than be near Alyson. And finally, if we were
'back then', red caution tape would not be surrounding the school. A SWAT
team would not be rushing in and out of the school. Alister wouldn't've had
to use his shirt as a tourniquet to save my life.

The events that I'm about to explain to you may be the darkest that this
town, or even Oklahoma, will ever experience. Tears will surely escape your
eyes, and hopefully it teaches you a little more about life than you
already know. Tragically, the lessons my friends and I, no, the whole city,
learned from this catastrophe cannot be learnt through any other
cause. Listen closely, for we received another chance; you may not.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

FIVE HOURS EARLIER.

"Hey you." I pretended not to wake up as Matt softly shook me with one
hand. Finally, I decided to cooperate.

"Why's your hand on my stomach?" I asked curiously.

"It wanders."

"Whatever. You just wanted to molest me."

"I wouldn't have to wait until you were sleeping to do that." Wow, I didn't
know whether to think he was being kinky, or a freak. Probably both.

"Okay Michael Jackson. Let me up."

"Yes, your Majesty."

"Ha ha. Are we giving Anna a ride?"

"No, Casper is."

"You're so mean to me."

"It's funny." he smirked. I backhanded his stomach.

"Is that?" I asked.

"No, but what is funny is that I didn't feel it."

"Well, I'd knee you, but then I'd have to pay your hospital bills."

"Hey, that was mean. I only kneed Alister because he was in the
way. Besides, that happened a nearly a month ago; can't y'all just drop
it."

"Nah, I live in the past, you should know that about me by now."

"Well, if I know anything about you, it's that you have a soft tummy."

"Hey! No I don't!" I lifted up my shirt.

"I think you're in denial."

"I think you're full of shit." I retorted, which got me a backhand to the
stomach. Unlike Matt, my abs did not serve as body armor. So, factoring in
Matt's strength VS my.. non-strength, you can understand why I fell to my
knees. And no, there were no hidden reasons, perverts.

"Want some help up?"

"I WANT to crawl back into your bed and wallow around in self misery."

"Aw, did it really hurt that bad?"

"No you... person. I'm just tired. Come on, let's go before I die of
boredom." For the record, it did hurt. I wasn't going to tell him that,
though; what fun would there be if Matt didn't think he could mess around
with me? As the girls, Lily and Rachel, came and got Anna, Matt, and me, I
couldn't feel happier. So let me explain the situation to you; it's been a
month since my friends and I got suspended on totally unfair grounds,
right? Well, soon after that, we'd gotten the principal thrown in jail for
"child abuse", as the judge had labeled it. The only downside of the whole
thing was that Matt's mom had to pay Alister's parents for the hospital
bill.

Nevertheless, Alister had made a full recovery, and although that's great
news, he still wouldn't even talk to us. Thankfully, people stopped
harassing us because of the rib incident, although I didn't blame them;
would YOU mess with a guy who had broken someone's ribs? I wouldn't. It's
still hard though, losing a best friend. The girls were taking it pretty
hard as well, 'cause they'd been Alister's friend too; and let's not forget
Alyson. Each night from then on, I had laid awake, hoping that the next day
everything would change. This day granted that.. just not in the way I had
ever hoped.

First period; Lily and I were bored out of our minds. No, seriously; you
hear kids saying that all the time, but we were literally just staring off
into space. Luckily, I fell asleep, so it went by quickly. I've always
wondered how we students manage to keep a smile on our face throughout the
day. I guess everyone has their reasons; friends, the joy of learning
(cough), or maybe they're just glad to be alive. Whichever it was, I think
I fell in the 'friends' category.

The hours slowly crept by, and eventually it was lunchtime. If you have
never attended a public school, then you won't be able to fully relate to
me when I say that the food was horrible. You know, sometimes I wonder if
the FDA and the school had a plan to kill us off by the end of the
year. Sometimes it's better to just not eat; you may have hunger pains, but
at least you won't get a terrible stomachache.

Unfortunately, Matt and Anna were in the library, apparently looking at
some book for their mom. Why she couldn't go to the public library herself
was beyond me, but she's really cool, so I'll stop talking about her. So
there Rachel, Lily, and I were; just sitting at a booth, eating our 'food'
when a loud sound pierced the room's chatter.

Have you ever sat at the end of a plane, near the engine? If so, you've
probably experienced the feeling where it feels like your ears are full of
water. You know, when you have to shout to hear the person next to you. So,
keeping that in mind, what do you think of when I tell you this: the
cafeteria was in complete pandemonium.

"Code Red! Get inside a secured room NOW!" The secretary, Ms. Jenkins,
yelled over the intercom. Now, I don't claim to be a security specialist,
but I'm pretty sure that announcement just caused more panic. But who am I
to judge? What scared me the most was that I lost Rachel and Lily. Everyone
in the cafeteria was running in complete shock, and I was just being pulled
in. But then something that I could have never foreseen happened; I felt an
extreme piercing pain in my left leg. It was so painful that I actually
felt tears form in my eyes as I fell to the ground. I wish I would've
known; if I had moved just a foot to the side, I could've avoided it.

This guy didn't have anything against me; he just wanted other people to
feel the pain he felt. But why? Who was he? I felt my life flash before my
eyes; what about Matt? He'll have never known how much I.. feel for
him. Was love the right word? I didn't really know at the time. There was
only one way to stay alive, and as hard as it was, I knew I had to do it: I
let myself fall to the ground before the shooter could see me wincing it
pain, and I tried to stay perfectly still with my eyes closed. Yes, I was
faking my death, just as I had faked being asleep that very morning.

The task is a lot harder when you have a bullet stuck in your calf; it
really is. Blood was pouring out, and I felt like I was going to just
collapse right there. Perhaps being unconscious would be better.. no, I
can't think like that; I have to stay with it.

I then heard the cafeteria doors slam. I contemplated whether I should open
my eyes or not, and curiosity got the better of me. Looking around, I
couldn't really see anyone within the vicinity.. until-- CRASH.

Someone had just dropped from the ceiling and on to the table. Looking up,
I couldn't figure out why I hadn't noticed the missing tile from the
ceiling before; someone must have climbed up during the disarray! But what
surprised me more was who had fallen out; Alister.

In case you're getting in over your head, Alister and I weren't friends. We
weren't even acquaintances. It's not like we hated each other,
though. Think of it this way: Do you go to school with someone whom you
have known your whole life, but never associate with them? That's how we
were.

I looked at him with my tear-stricken face. I was shocked at what he did
next; he just laughed. No, really, he just stood there and laughed. I felt
myself start to cry even more; why was he doing this? But then we heard
another set of doors slam. I gasped. Whether it was from the pain in my
leg, or the suspense, I'd never know.

To my surprise, and probably his too, Alister jumped off the table and
landed beside me. What is up with him and Matt having shock absorbing legs?
God. "Alister.." I managed to sputter.

"Come on." he said. I hadn't known how much I had missed that Greek accent
until then. He was moving a lot faster now; was he afraid too? In any case,
he knelt down and gently put one of his arms under my back, and another
under my thighs. I was so glad that he was courteous enough not to grab my
bleeding calf. It was also a rather pleasant experience, in spite of the
situation; Alister was a lot stronger than I thought. Or maybe it was just
the adrenaline, but God did he run.

To our dismay, the cafeteria doors made a loud BANG as he shut them. "Who's
there!?" a frantic voice called out. That voice! It belonged to Lee!  I
suddenly felt a twang of guilt; my friends and I were the type of people
that drove him to this. Although we did not say anything directly to him,
we still talked about him. I wanted to cry just then, but that would've
given us away. "Where are you!?" he yelled to no one in particular,
although he was unbeknowingly talking to us.

Alister ran to a janitor's closet and yanked it open, closed the door
behind him as we got in. It was rather small, and kind of
inconvenient. Alister had to hold me up by keeping one hand and a knee on
my bottom, but I wasn't gonna complain. He seemed to have forgotten his
homophobia for the time being, but only a moron would hold on to their
prejudices in a life or death situation. With the other arm, he held the
storage closet door shut.

"Where are you!?" he repeated. I felt extremely scared, like I was a rat in
a science experiment. Mental note: If I live, I will start a rats' rights
campaign. I started to panic. Don't get me wrong; I was already
panicking. I mean, an insane guy with a gun was looking for me. But there
was just so much blood pouring onto Alister's legs and the floor.

"I'm going to die." I whispered frantically.

"Shh." he said simply. "Text someone."

"Whom??"

"I don't know! Anna or Matt, or Alyson!" he whispered. So I decided I'd
text Matt, but unfortunately for me, he wasn't responding. Then I felt my
heart drop into my stomach; what had happened to Anna and Matt? Alister
shared my emotions; the look on his face was melancholic.

"HALT." I heard a man's rough voice yell.

"DROP YOUR WEAPON!" another one yelled, his voice ringing through the
hallway.

"Aequam memento rebus in arduis servare mentem." Lee said. What was
disturbing was that he sounded tranquil. Latin's a calm sounding language
in itself, but the action that followed wasn't: he shot himself in the
head.

I wasn't able to witness it, for Alister and I were still in the closet
(ha. ha.), but it was something you just knew. Alister let go of the door
and quickly peeled off his shirt, to my pleasure. He didn't waste any time
by wrapping it around my leg as tight as he could tie it. It helped
somewhat, because it put a lot of pressure on the bullet wound, and the
blood stopped gushing everywhere, but I seriously needed a doctor.

Alister must've read my thoughts, because he pushed open the door at that
instant. "HALT!" the same man, that said the same thing to Lee, yelled.

"He needs a doctor; he's been shot." Alister said calmly. It must've looked
pretty awkward; a shirtless guy holding a guy with a bloodied leg. It
probably also didn't help that my arms were around his neck.. why was I
doing this?

I didn't get much time to think about it, because we were lead outside
where everyone else was. "You will need to leave in an ambulance shortly."
one of the SWAT members told me. I just nodded my head.

Looking around, my eyes stumbled upon something that had two negative
aspects to it. First off, that 'thing' was Matt on a stretcher, shirtless,
with an extremely bloody shoulder, much like my leg. So, one bad thing was
that Matt had obviously been shot. The other was that him seeing Alister
carry me shirtless couldn't've helped our "relationship" or whatever we
had. There was no doubt in my mind that Matt would've killed to be the one
who'd saved me, yet Alister just stood there and smiled. What the hell was
his deal, anyway?

Another shocking scene was Alyson hugging Anna, who was crying. There were
parents everywhere, and a few of them were in tears, which gave me a
sickening feeling; Matt and I must have not been the only victims. At that
time, I couldn't wait to get to a hospital and get some pain killers. Don't
get me wrong, Alister knows how to make a guy feel secure, but holy god,
this pain was unimaginable. Tears were STILL in my eyes! Call me a baby if
you want; have you ever been shot?

But the question that was ebbing away at my peace of mind as I was loaded
onto a stretcher and into an ambulance was unbearable to not know the
answer to; why had Lee done this?

"Hey kid," Alister addressed me. Who did he think he was? "Stay safe; I
still gotta pound on ya for putting me through this." he smiled. This was
too weird. I just nodded; what else could I do?

As I, along with Matt and some other students, were rushed to the hospital
in separate vehicles, there was a thought that kept creeping across my
mind: I really missed Matt. I regretted my lustful thoughts about Alister,
and I just couldn't wait to be held in Matt's arms again. Alister may have
saved my life, but there's something about Matt that no one can replace. I
don't know if it's the fact that he has a peculiar accent, or if it's just
because I..I love him. There, that's how I felt. It was embarrassing that
it took fearful thoughts of never seeing him again to make me realize it,
but that's life, and while things may not always be "smooth sailing", they
were gonna be alright.