Date: Sat, 14 Oct 2000 21:48:08 EDT
From: ballmusic69@hotmail.com
Subject: "That Was Then"--Gay Male--Relationships

 That Was Then, and This?
 October 14, 2000

 This is a story part fact, part fiction, part dream, and part coming to
terms with reality. It tells the story of a continuing gay relationship
told in graphic language. If you are underage or finds this type document
offensive, please exit now and go on to other reading. As this is my first
attempt at writing, your acceptance of criticism is welcomed.  You can
e-mail me at ballmusic69@hotmail.com.

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     I had heard that Lance was home on leave from the army. It had been
five years since I had seen or heard from him. Five years since high
school. Five years since our relationship was over, and I did, so, want to
talk to him now and try to make amends. I called his house and his mother
answered the phone. I asked if Lance was there and she called for him. I
know I only waited 30 seconds for him to pick up the phone, but in my
anxiety, it seemed more like a half hour.
     "Hello?" he answered.
     Hearing his voice again, made my heart sink. I had longed for five
years to hear the voice of my "first love". His voice sounded deeper,
richer, and more mature. I held my breath, not being able to answer him.
     "Hello?" again, he asked.
     "Lance, this is Mark. When did you get in and how long are you
staying?" I rattled off.
     "I got home day before yesterday and I'm only going to be here for a
week before I have to return to base in Italy." he said, in an almost
military manner.
     I took another deep breath before being brave enough to say..."I was
wondering if you could come over and talk, catch up on the old times, the
present, the weather, whatever..."
     Now it was his turn to hesitate. "I dunno", he replied. "I have a lot
of things to do in so little time, here. Things are different, now. You
know, I have a wife and two kids."
     "Yes, I heard you were married. I'm married, too". I said in a half
truth. I couldn't tell him that I was totally gay and was happily linked to
my lover of two years. "Would you be free for about an hour, this
afternoon?" I asked with baited breath. I live about 20 minutes from your
mom's house and I could come by and pick you up."
     Long pause. "How about two o'clock? And you don't have to come by, I'm
using my dad's car. Just tell me how to get there." With his consent to
meet me, I almost dropped the phone. I told him my address and said
goodbye, not being able to put the phone back on its cradle in a nervous
frenzy.
     Brad, my lover, was working until 6:00. This would be the only thing I
had ever kept from him in our two year monogamous relationship. I had never
told him about Lance, and I never would. I loved Brad so deeply, but there
is something about the old adage, "You never get over your 'first love'". I
sat down and found my heart racing. Was Lance coming over to "beat me up"
or just have a "friendly" chat. My mind wandered back through the years,
trying to remember what caused Lance and me to break up. Then it all came
back to me....it was a fight. Lance had hit me because of my jealousy and
suspicions. It was my fault that it had ended. Then I took the time to
recall how it all began.

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 The Beginning.
      Lance and I had known each other since the first grade. He had two
brothers, Kirk, who was four years older and Tim, who was five years
younger than Lance. Our parents had met at a PTA meeting and they all
decided to go to Lance's house afterwards. The two families over the years,
all but became as one. The four of them went everywhere together. I, being
an only child and a "Mama's boy", delighted in having three "brothers".
Lance and I were inseparable through grammar school and junior high, except
for my "private" moments.
      I knew I was gay or at least had feelings for men from the age of
six. I would go to movies and feel warm and found my little peepee would
get hard when I would see the male lead in the movie kiss the pretty
girl. I envied HER, not HIM. Growing up, I discovered the world of books
and read everything I could find. I read many old novels in my mother's
bookcase, including, "Battle Cry" and "Lady Chatterly's Lover". When I was
around 13, I had seen the movie of "Battle Cry" on TV and found myself
getting hard watching Tab Hunter, take off his pants and putting on Dorothy
Malone's husband's bathing suit, which was way too big for him. I knew it
would come off as soon as he got in the water, and Dorothy would get to see
Tab naked. God, I was jealous. Seeing the old re-runs of "Ozzie and
Harriet" and looking at that good looking young, Ricky would get me hard in
an instant. I had started to play with myself and wondered if Ricky did
that too. One day, I played too long and had my first orgasm. I had no idea
what I had done to myself, but I was sure that I must have "ruptured"
myself and decided I must never do it again and maybe the "rupture" would
go away. I dare not tell anyone, for fear they would put me in the
hospital. It was about three months before I ever played with myself
again. I was reading a book about a gay boy in "Giovanni's Room" and
suddenly, I was so excited, I touched myself one time and came instantly. I
was horrified, but God, it felt good. This was the second of many "private
moments" I would have over the next two years. I thought I was the only
person in the world that could do this. How could I explain it to anyone,
even my best friend, Lance.
     One day, when I was 15, I went over to Lance's house. He had broken
his arm in a bicycle accident and was wearing a cast. Our parents were
going to the farmer's market to buy some fresh produce, leaving Lance and
me at his house to watch TV. After about an hour or so, I told Lance I had
to go pee. He said that he did, too. So we went into the bathroom
together. We had peed together in the same toilet many times over the past
nine years...no problem, it was just a "buddy" thing. We unzipped, stood
side and side and let it rip, playfully, "crossing" streams and pretending
we were going to pee on each other. Then Lance, suddenly said, "Man, you're
so much bigger than me.
     "No way", I said, "We've always been the same size", knowing that I
had always noticed his privates, not aware that he had ever looked at me.
     "Wanna measure?". he asked.
     "Sure". I replied. We finishing peeing and he faced me and came
forward, dick in hand and placing his tip next to the start of my shaft in
my pubes. The obvious happened. Our flaccid penises were becoming larger as
they were pressed next to each other. Finally, when they had reached their
capacity, Lance grabbed them both and pressed them tightly together for the
"measure".
     "See, you're about an inch longer than I", he said. I guess maybe a
little. I knew that I was about 7 1/2 inches, but depending on how they fit
side by side, he was at least 7 inches. While his hand squeezed, he pumped
them together a couple of times and asked, "Have you ever "beat off?".
     I was so surprised to hear these words. Had he discovered how to have
"private moments" too. I mean, I wasn't the ONLY one who knew the magic
trick.
     "Once or twice," I lied.
     "Wanna do it now?", he asked nervously. You know what my response
was...a timid, "Sure". The only thing was, he still had them both in his
grip and began working them at the same time.
     God, this was disbelief. My best friend, my "brother", and I were
touching... doing things I had only imagined.  Maybe it was my imagination,
again, but our cocks, seemed to be getting even bigger in the excitement of
the moment. It didn't take long for him to ask, "Are you about ready?". WAS
I????? OH MAN, WAS I.
     We both shot at the same time covering each others pubes, shafts, and
scrotums in a delight of cream. I looked down to see. My was thick and very
white. Lance's was more fluid and cream colored. We couldn't say a word. We
just stood there, looking at each other's manufactured products. He reached
for the toilet paper and started the "clean up". I joined. We were both
trembling in silence. We wiped the best we could. There was still some
shiny residue and the lingering odor of bleach. Finally, he looked up and
asked, "Do you feel guilty?"
     "I don't know," I replied, "I'm just so surprised that you knew how
to do this, too".
     "I have a rubber in my billfold. Ever tried one on?" he asked.
     I never had even seen one. "Sure," I lied, again. He pulled the condom
out of his wallet and began rolling it down my shaft. This was just too
much to believe in one afternoon. I took the rubber off and reciprocated by
putting it on him.
     "Wanna see what it feels like to put it in your mouth?". he asked.
     "Only, if you do the same thing to me." was my response.
     "Okay" he said.
     Slowly, as if going to the guillotine, I sank to my knees and looked
at the rubbered prize....took it in my hand, and very cautiously put it in
my mouth. His eyes closed as he let out a quiet moan. I slid it in as far
as I could, holding my breath, trying not to be ashamed of gagging.....I
relaxed and began a tight suck and moving my head back and forth. I could
still smell the scent of my cum from his pubic hair. I felt him beginning
to pulsate in my mouth and knew he was close to a "second" explosion. He
stopped suddenly and said, "That's enough! Let me do you, some".
     I stood up. He slid the condom off his hard, throbbing, eager member,
and went to his knees to roll it down my shaft. Once, I was "protected", he
gave my cock a hard squeeze and engulfed me in his warm, hot breathing,
mouth. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. NOTHING is my wild fantasy
world of "private moments" could ever believe that this was happening....to
ME, with LANCE....TOGETHER!! I knew I couldn't last long this way without
the "breaking" of the dam and gushing out a flood. So I stopped him. He
stood up and faced me....we still didn't know what was happening, or what
to say to each other.
     Finally, he broke the silence and said, "Do you wanna see what they
taste like, without the rubber?". Guess what my response was?
     We quickly, took our pants all the way off, grabbing and touching each
other's cocks every chance we could, with our newly found "freedoms". He
once again, knelt and put my "naked" dick in his mouth. I thought I would
have a coronary, it felt so marvelous. He took me to the "edge", once
again. I stopped him and we exchanged positions. I licked him all the way
around his shaft before I began my new ritual that I would enjoy the rest
of my life. He tasted so sweet. His cock was so warm. I knew I couldn't get
enough of this. I started a plunging motion, trying to get him down in my
throat. His balls were beginning to contract and I knew it was just a
matter of moments before I would have his man juice inside me and he would
be in my system, my bloodstream, by body...forever. But, he pulled out.
    "Gosh" was all he could say. He waited a minute and said...."How do you
want to finish?".
     "I have an idea", I said. "Lie on the floor and turn opposite to me
and I think we can do each other at the same time." Had I invented the "69"
position? He lay down, and, by golly, it worked. We grabbed each other and
started sucking as hard as we could.
     It was only a couple of minutes, before he asked, "Are you
close?....Let me know when." All I could manage to reply was a garbled "uh
huh" as I kept on working on him. He went back to working on me, and
suddenly he screamed, "That's it! I'm ready! Take it out of your mouth,
quickly!".
     Wild horses couldn't have stopped me. I WANTED HIM. ALL OF HIM. He
began shooting and I swallowed and gagged and swallowed some more,
drinking, what seemed to be a whole cup of the sweetest nectar I had ever
tasted. I knew I was "close" too, so I warned him, not knowing if he wanted
to go as far as I had. He didn't stop. He kept going...letting me shoot my
load into his mouth...down his throat. This was the first day of the rest
of my life.
     As we lay there, trying to get our breath. Not daring to look at each
other, we heard Lance's dad's car drive up. It was total chaos and panic,
trying to reach for the toilet paper, put on our briefs, our trousers, and
run to the living room to sit on the couch before our parents could unload
the car. We made it though, without saying a word....without the time to
discuss what we had just done or experienced...without expressing how we
felt...but there would be time for that later.
     My parents called in the house and asked if I were ready to go home. I
left Lance, sitting on his couch, not even looking back to say "goodbye".
Was I ashamed? Was I in love? What had we just done? Or worse, yet, what
was HE thinking? I trembled in the car, all the way, home. I told my mother
I thought I was catching a cold. So I ate very little dinner and went to
bed and lay in the dark reliving the day and shaking in fear at the idea of
what Lance's reactions would be when I saw him at school tomorrow.

 <<to be continued>