Date: Sat, 15 Jan 2011 14:29:38 EST
From: HnstSkr4@aol.com
Subject: The Journey Begins - Chapter 13

Author's Notes:

Before I get into the Legal stuff, I want to say thanks first to my Editor,
Pete.  He always does a wonderful job.  Second, I want to thank my Readers.
You guys are the best.

Okay, these characters are not meant to resemble any living or dead person.
I make no apology to anyone who is offended by anything in this story.

If you don't agree with the idea of guys being in love, then find something
else to read.

Let me know what you think of the story by emailing me at
_Hnstskr4@aol.com_

Copyright 2009, 2010 by Chuck B.

Chapter 13

Church Blues

It's Sunday.  At my parent's house, I would be taking my shower, doing some
scripture study, and participating in family prayer.  At Sarah's, things
are bit more relaxed.  She doesn't always attend church and Mark never
goes.  Sarah comes up into my room and asks me if I want to want to go.  I
don't know why, but I do want to go.  By now I'm sure that everyone knows
about my gay kiss.  I rush to get ready so we can leave the house on time.
I hate being late.  We finally head out the door and we're headed to the
church building.  As we pull up to the church, I get a whiff of something
foul and, no, I'm not talking about an odor that you physically smell.
Walking into the building feels very strange.  It would be a lot easier to
be here if no one knew about the incident.  The moment of truth is upon me
as we enter the chapel.


All eyes are on me as I walk to where Sarah is leading me.  It must not be
everyday that a gay guy comes to church.

Sarah quietly whispers, "Ignore them!"

I can literally feel their eyes on me.  Some of the guys my age are giving
me evil stares.  Don't these people have something else to do with their
time?  What would happen if I stood up and chastised everyone for their
gossip and backbiting?

I don't think there is a single soul in this meeting who cares one bit for
my feelings.  At the beginning of Sacrament meeting I was nervous and now
I'm a bit annoyed.  No one has approached me, but they all seem to have
something to say.  The men look anxious, the teens look mad and the women
all have this "I'm disappointed" look to their faces.  Right now I'm second
guessing my decision to come to church.  I didn't come to church to be the
subject of everyone's discussion.  I came here to feel the spirit.  It's
just not happening for me today.  I'm truly amazed that with all the
talking behind my back that any of these people can feel the spirit.  I
should have stayed home.  By the way, I didn't take Sacrament.  From his
place on the stand, my dad was watching to see if I would dare take it.  As
we get ready to move from Sacrament to Priesthood, I notice that a lot of
people stop talking when I get close to them. Gee, I wonder who they were
talking about.

One lady in front of me was talking about me.  She flat out said that my
presence at the meeting ruined it.  She could feel the spirit leave when I
walked into the chapel.  Funny, because she is one of the members whose
lips started flapping the minute that Sarah and I arrived.  She saw no need
for me to be here.  I supposedly only came to rub the fact that Dale is in
prison in his family's face.  I thought to myself that Dale is gone because
he made the decision to break the law, as if I would go out of my way to do
that to anyone.  She went on to say that I needed to be excommunicated and
then the ward would be a better place.

At this point, I was tired of hearing her mouth and politely said, "Excuse
me!"

It was like the earth itself moved to let me through.  They gave me plenty
of space to get through.  I really do not get them.  Right now, I want to
bury my face and hide.

I went up by the bishop's office for a drink of water before heading back
to the chapel for Priesthood opening.  As I bowed for my drink, I saw
Dale's family going into my dad's office.  I can only imagine what they're
talking about.  I know for a fact that my name is being dropped.  I wish
that I could be the fly on the wall for this meeting.

Guess I should go to Priesthood meeting.  All the young men, teenagers,
usually sit together.  I went up to sit with them and they immediately
moved up two rows.  I thought they were my friends.  I really thought they
would be more understanding.  Guess, I was wrong.  I just want to be alone.


I don't deserve to be treated this way.  I am going outside to sit.  As I
headed out, I passed my mom in the hallway.  She completely ignored me.  I
paid her no attention as I walked out.  These people have known me since
birth and look at how they treated me.  I thought that by coming to church
I might get some inner peace.  Instead, I get shunned and ignored and made
to feel like crap.  Finally outside, now I can be alone.  Maybe now, I'll
feel some peace.  Looks like Brother White is stepping outside for a minute
too.

Brother White is coming up to me.  Man, I wonder what he's going to say to
me.  He sits down on the grass, suit and all.  He puts out his arms and
hugs me.  It's the first time today that anyone from church has been nice
to me.  Wonder why he did that?

"Erik, I'm sorry for the way that you've been treated today.  No one should
be treated that way by members of the church.  It shouldn't matter who they
are or what they've done.  Everybody should be welcome!  I know what you're
going through."

How does he know what I'm going through?  He's not gay!

"I have a sister who is a lesbian.  She was around your age when she had
her first relationship.  People at church found out about her."

"What happened?" I asked.  I really wanted to know now.

"Well, she got shunned like you did.  She was called a few horrid names.
At least you didn't have to go through that today.  The bishop tried to be
kind, but that was a very thin disguise.  She went on to get
excommunicated.  My sister is one of the nicest people that I know.  She'll
never come back.  I don't blame her for not coming back either.  She still
follows the church's teachings to the best of her ability.  I'm sorry that
you've had to go through this.  If you ever want to come back at least for
Sacrament meeting, I would be honored if you sat with my family."

We stood up and he gave me another hug.  As we finished our hug, I saw my
sister come out of the building.

Sarah came out and walked right up to me.

"Are you alright?"

"No, but I'll be okay!"

"What did Brother White want?"

"We just talked.  Sarah, he's the only person who would talk to me today.

"Really?"

I could see the shock on her face.

"Yeah!  They didn't make me feel very welcome at all."

I guess they need to reread some of the Lord's words.  We didn't stay for
Sunday school.  It was one of the quietest trips home from church that I've
ever had.


When we got to Sarah's home, I went to my room to work on my journal.

"Sarah took me to church today.  I wish that I didn't go this morning.  I
didn't get one smile out of my friends.  My friends in young men's gave me
death stares.  My own dad watched to make sure that I didn't take the
Sacrament.  Only one member of church came up to say anything nice to me.
Brother White told me that I could sit with his family if I wanted to go to
church again.  Apparently, he has a lesbian sister who has been
excommunicated. I was made to feel like I wasn't welcome.  As far as I'm
concerned they can keep their church building."

Mark came into my room with a knock on the door.

"How did church go, bro?"

"Mom totally ignored me and the rest of the members were talking behind my
back and in front of me.  Only one guy was kind to me out of 149 people."

Mark patted on me on the back and then looked at me and said, "Erik, no
offense, but did you really expect your mom to pay any attention after
considering how she treated you yesterday?"

"Guess I was kind of hoping she would wake up."

Mark isn't the type of guy who sugar coats anything.  He is kind of upfront
about stuff.

"So... then I'm in Priesthood opening.  I go and try to sit by the guys my
age and they get up and move.  They don't say anything to me."

"Look buddy, Dale is in prison and you're gay.  Those close-minded idiots
no doubt are afraid that you'll want their micro dicks.  Either that or
they're blaming you for Dale's actions. Pretty ironic isn't it, the whole
church blaming you for someone else's actions?"

Now that he mentions it, it is pretty ironic.  I couldn't control Dale's
actions and I certainly have no clue as to the consequences that he now has
to face.

"Okay, now get this, there is this lady who was talking about me.  She is
standing not even five feet away from me.  She blamed me for ruining the
whole entire Sacrament meeting.  Supposedly, I chased the spirit away from
the meeting.  What do you do you think of that?"

Mark tossed what I said around in his head for a few seconds and then he
spoke.

"Sounds to me like this lady is angry at you over you coming out or the
whole Dale thing and she allowed her anger to ruin the meeting and because
she was angry, she couldn't feel the spirit.  It is all on her, not you."

Mark is right.  It wasn't me who chased the spirit away.  This lady needs
to have her spirit examined.  I should hand her some spirit glue to keep it
from leaving her.  Clearly, she needs it the most.

"The big question is, are you considering going back?"

"No... I don't want to go back.  Would you go back?"

"No... I don't think I would. Why go someplace where I'm not wanted?"

Mark didn't say anything else to me.  He got up and left my room.  As he
was leaving I grabbed my cell phone and called Steve.


I love talking to my guy, so yeah I call him quite a bit.  Just the sound
of his voice can calm me down when I'm having a rough day.  I put my phone
on speakerphone and I lay down on my bed.

"Hey Erik, what's up?"

"Nothing much, just thought I'd let you know how church went today."

"How did it go?"

"It didn't! From the minute that I got there, people were gawking at me and
talking behind my back.  One lady seems to think that I deserve to be
excommunicated.  Apparently, I came to church to rub it in that Dale got
arrested..."

"What?" Steve said in utter disbelief.  "What did you say?"

"I didn't say anything.  Church doesn't seem to be the right place to speak
up, at least not the way I want to speak up.  I... I don't think that I'm
going back to church."

Steve was totally quiet.  I think Steve is confused.

"So they've won?  They need to see that you haven't changed."

"If I do go back to church, I'm only going to Sacrament meeting."

"That is fine with me, it's better than nothing.  Heck, I'll even go with
you."

What did he just say?  Did he just say that he'll go with me?  I guess I
would be more confident.  Still, I don't know if I can go through with it.

"Steve, I just don't know if I can do this?"

I might be a muscle head, but I'm still sensitive.

"Look you blockhead, there isn't "I" there is "us".  We'll face it
together.  I need to run.  I'll be back in a few if you still want to
talk."

"Bye, you hunk!"

With that, I hung up my phone.  Next thing I know, Sarah is at the door.

Seems like Sarah or Mark are always at the door anytime I am struggling
with something.

"Hey buddy, I overheard you talking with Steve.  You may not want to hear
this, but I think Steve is right."

Steve might be right about me needing to be back at church, but why does
this need to be everyone's cause.  Why can't I just be left to make
decisions on my own?

"Sarah, I really don't want to go through with this going back to church
thing."

"I know you're scared, but you don't have to go through this alone.  You
have Mark and me not to mention Steve says he'll go to church with you."

"Sarah, I don't want him getting hurt because of me."

Sarah gave me a hug and then said, "Look, he knows what's at stake,
besides, he loves you.  Let him be there for you."

She smiled and headed for the door.  She turned and paused for a second.

"You know what? I'll even ask Mark to go with us."

"You really think he'll go with us?"

"I don't know.  Something tells me, he'll go."

It would be awesome to have everyone at church in support of me.  I'm
worried that Mark will go off and say something that might hurt someone's
feelings.  At least, I'll have all night to sleep on the day and start a
fresh one tomorrow morning.


In school today, Steve and I agreed that we needed a night to spoil
ourselves, so we planned on going back up to NorthSide Books.  Steve wanted
to spoil me so I went along with it.  I figured, why not?  We shopped like
crazy till I felt like we had bought out the bookstore and then we paid for
the mess of books that we picked up.  As we were checking out, I caught a
glimpse of this guy who just walked in and realized that he was Dale's
brother, Scott.  I didn't say anything to Steve and just tried to stay out
of sight.  I was hoping we could just slip out without Scott noticing me.
It didn't happen like I had hopped.  Scott came right up to me.  At this
point, Steve had noticed that I seemed a little nervous.  By the way, Scott
is Dale's older brother.

"Hey Erik, I'm sorry about what my brother did to you, but you know he
didn't mean to get you kicked out the house."

Steve suddenly stepped up and I could see the subtle change in his face.  I
knew if Scott kept talking that Steve would snap.  I don't want someone
getting hurt, and Steve might just hurt this guy.

"Yeah... I don't think he really thought it through, but he had to know
that if he sent my mom that picture, that she'd react.  What did he think
would happen?"

Scott just shrugged his shoulders.  I don't think he knew how to reply to
my question.  Suddenly, it hit me that I should introduce this guy to my
guy.

"Scott, this is my boyfriend, Steve."

Steve reached out his hand after handing me his bag of books.  I wasn't
sure that Scott would accept the handshake, but he surprised me.

"Hey Steve, I'm sorry about my brother."

"You can't control your brother; just treat my man like you always have."

Scott took a step back away from Steve and me.  I knew what was coming
next.

"Look, I don't agree with what you and Erik are doing.  I don't believe
that we are born gay, and I don't want to argue with you.  I need to run,
see you later."

Scott turned and walked away.  As Scott walked away, Steve took back his
books and headed into the café.  When I followed him into the café, I saw
two people that I recognized too.  I walked right up to them.

"Noah, Isaac, are you guys here with anyone else?"

They had two more chairs available at their table.

"Nope, have a seat, man!"

I sat down and then waved at Steve to join us at the table.

"Who's the cutie?"

"That hot guy is my boyfriend, Steve."

"Cool!"

Noah seemed impressed with Steve.  Isaac was smiling as Steve walked up.  I
hope they're not having nasty thoughts over my boyfriend.  Steve came up to
the empty seat.  Once he sat down, I introduced him to the guys.

"Steve, I want you to meet Noah Perez and Isaac Witt.  Noah is Mark's
brother and Isaac is Noah's life partner.  Guys, this is Steve, my
boyfriend."

"Nice to meet you, Steve!"

They both outstretched their arms towards Steve, who shook their hands.
Steve looked at me and asked me if I've told them about Dale and church
yesterday.  Of course I haven't told them anything about what's happened
over the last week.  So, I buckled down and told them about what's all
happened.

"I don't blame you for not going back to church," Isaac said, as Noah sank
into thought.

"Hey, why don't we all go to your church this Sunday?" Noah asked, not
knowing that we were planning to attend together on Sunday.

"Yeah, we're all going to go to church on Sunday," Steve said, as he high
fived Noah.

"Not only is Steve going to go with me, but Sarah said she's going to talk
with Mark to see if he's up to going with us to church on Sunday."

Noah seemed shocked.

"You mean that Mark is actually going?"

"Well, he has to be asked first, but yeah, I'm hoping he'll agree to
attend."

Noah was beaming.  It won't surprise me at all if Mark agrees to go to
church.

"Hey guys, Isaac and I were planning on having a movie night on
Saturday. Do you want to come?  We're going to be geeky and watch some old
classic horror movies from the 1930's, sort of a monster marathon.  You're
welcome to attend.  Consider this to be your invite.  We're starting it at
6:00 pm."

I looked at Steve and he smiled and then he spoke for both of us.

"We'll be there at 6:00 pm; just make sure that Erik knows how to get
there."

"Cool!"

"We'll see you later!"

Steve and I got up and followed the guys out the door.  We, Steve and I,
ended up back at Sarah's house.  When we got to my house, the phone was
beeping, signaling that there was voicemail.

I picked up the phone and checked for any messages.  It ended up that Dale
had called.

"Steve, Dale called while we were out."

"What does he want?"

"He wants me to come to visitation day and see him."

There is no way that I'm going there.  I just don't see a reason to visit
with him just yet.  I'm not ready to forgive him.

"You should go!" Steve laughed at his comment.  I'm not sure if he was
joking or if was being serious.

"Steve, I'm not ready to forgive him.  I'm okay with going to church, but
there is no way I'm facing him."

Steve patted my back and just looked at my eyes.

"Erik, it's fine with me if you don't want to see him, because I don't even
want to see him right now.  Now, let's enjoy what's left of our evening."

We kicked back and just read to each other from the first chapters of the
books that we picked to read.