Phase 5

 

My brother is full of shit."

The men in white are from that company. It's the one all over the news. They are staring me down and it's kind of aggressive in a way.

I'm lucky Gato is at the door to have my back.

"Yeah he saw us hug each other and now he thinks we're going through the phase," Gato explains to the visitors, "Ain't no big deal. No one needs to be getting tested."

"We insist," is what we hear back.

"I don't want to do it," I state.

Gato hears that and that's all he needs to hear, "You heard my best friend. So I must "insist" you get the fuck off of the lawn."

"Do you have something to hide?" the men in white state.

They all look at me. At that moment Gato is looking at me too. He seems confused that I'm pushing back so much but I realize Gato wasn't the type to have me looking awkward in peace. He takes a step in front of me blocking their view of me.

And with a stern voice, he gives them a look, "We are turning down the tests. You have a problem you can arrest us..."

The two men look at Gato in a shaky way. Gato was a pretty boy, but he was a pretty boy with pretty big muscles. And he can quickly turn intimidating if he wanted to be. It's rare to see him get like that though. By nature, he was a lover and not a fighter.

"We'll come back with the police," the one guy says.

He has this really smug look on his face as though I was the one who came knocking on his door. Both of them are looking at me with these suspicious looks. Looks I don't like. They get in their van and drive away but honestly, it just makes all this feel even more awkward.

As soon as they leave Gato is staring at me with the same look that they used. Of he wouldn't question me in front of anyone else.

"Why didn't you just take the test?" Gato asks.

"Why would I----Juan Martin is a fuckin idiot. He didn't see anything happen this morning."

"I know. You're right. It's just----it would have been easier if you just took it," Gato explains.

He's looking for an answer circling around me like a buzzard. I feel so uncomfortable. How do you tell your best friend that lately you've been having sexual feelings for him? This friendship meant more to me than any relationship I had with anyone else. Something like this would ruin it.

I'm struggling and all of a sudden I realize it's coming off pretty bad by me not having an answer for him.

So I just sigh.

"Gato----please..."

It's rare he gave me a pass for something he wanted to know. It's rare he lets something go. In all these years of us building a friendship, Gato always felt his business was my business. I realize now that maybe I shouldn't have said something because almost immediately a look of worry builds up on Gato's face.

I think he's going to push back but he just nods, "Ok, I understand..."

This was beyond rare for him to say something like that.

"You do?"

"Listen this Phase or whatever is a lot of people. I think everyone is dealing with it in a different way. Whatever process you're using to deal with it, just realize that I am right behind your right shoulder. Never too far. I always got your back."

"I know that Gato," I state, "I know."

He was never too far. Matter of fact he was sleeping in my room.

Maybe that was the problem.

~

"We would like to let everyone now that the Family Attachment Movement or F.A.M is at the back of the congregation. As most of you have heard it is now law to get tested for the Phase Virus..."

"They are officially in every public building," Sara Sofia mutters.

We look towards the back. Three desks have been set up with men in white suits. People in white looking around anxiously to try to get people tested for the Phase Virus.

"It's getting worse," I tell Sara Sofia.

We are at church. It's weird because there is a confessional booth at our church but I'd much rather talk to Sara Sofia. One place a lot of people in the community goes was Edges. But that was usually on Fridays and Saturdays. The other place a bunch of people went was Church.

Sara Sofia nods, "I think I've gotten tested at least 4 times. What number are you on?"

I shake my head.

Sara Sofia looks concerned, "JD..."

"Shh..."

Not too far from us, I see Gato. He is sitting with Nina. They look like that beautiful couple. I would feel bad about the fact that Nina wasn't loyal to Gato but I knew damn well Gato wasn't loyal back. So a part of me felt like maybe they've both met their match. So why say something to Gato about that?

Sara Sofia leans in, "At least tell me you aren't showing symptoms still..."

I take a deep breath, "I can't get him out of my head."

We both knew I was talking about Gato.

"Like physically?"

I nod, "It's getting pretty bad."

Sara Sofia is the only one I can trust with this. Juan Martin literally almost got me taken out. He literally almost got me fired because of it.

"Maybe you should go and get tested," she tells me, "Supposedly they are saying there is a treatment for it."

I sigh a little bit, "Sara----I don't like medication."

"Somethings you can't pray away," my sister tells me, "I mean it's either take pills or..."

She doesn't say what the other option is. We all knew the other option. We knew it first hand. Mama wasn't in church. She hadn't left the house. Everywhere we went people asked about her. My mother had so much life. She had so many friends in the neighborhood. Now she had become a ghost of herself. It was heartbreak. My father was out there getting plowed by some guy and my mother was miserable.

That's what the Phase did.

That was the other option...

"Listen, I need you to keep him away from me," I explain, "Until I figure this out."

"Gato?" she asks, "How am I supposed to do that? He lives with us now..."

"I don't know...but please..."

Sara Sofia nods but I know she feels uncomfortable with it. I needed to get tested. I knew that. It's at the end of church and as normal Gato is trying to chase me down.

"Hey JD, JD...you want to go to brunch with us?" Gato asks.

Just at that moment, I see Nina, "Yeah. I definitely want JD coming."

I don't trust Nina and I damn sure don't trust myself with Gato.

"I'm not feeling too well..."

"What? You look fine boy come on. You're getting in the car."

That's when Sara Sofia comes out of nowhere throwing her arm over me, "No. He kept talking about throwing up. He needs to go to the Urgent Care...right away."

"You were throwing up?" Gato asks walking over to me at that moment.

"Yeah," I sigh, "It was horrible."

I look over at my sister. We both were raised not to lie but the truth was Gato was pushy. He wasn't the type to just let something go and it was going to take both of us to get over on a lie with Gato.

That's when Gato looks really concerned, "I'm taking you to the hospital..."

"Gato---he's fine----" Sara Sofia interrupts, "You should go have brunch with your girlfriend."

"She'll be OK," he states.

I don't think Nina was expecting that. I can tell by how her face shuffles up a little bit as though concerned but she doesn't actually say anything to challenge Gato. He's made up his mind and knowing Gato that was a hard thing to change.

That's when we are interrupted, "I can take him."

We turn at that moment. It's actually Elias. I'm surprised when I see him standing there.

"We didn't ask for help," Gato offers.

Elias forces a smile, "I'm going past the pharmacy anyway. Plus I had to talk to JD about something."

"What do you have to talk to us about?" Gato asks.

"I said JD..."

Gato doesn't like this. He looks at me and shakes his head. Normally I would have followed Gato's lead. Gato didn't want me talking to Elias then I wouldn't talk to Elias. It was always easy. It was always simple. Except for today. Today I had come to the acknowledgment that I needed to avoid Gato. I needed to stay as far away from his as possible.

So I smile and take a step towards Elias, "Actually I'll just go with Elias. See you tomorrow."

Gato doesn't say anything as I walk away. I think he's kind of surprised. Honestly, I think he's kind of bothered. He sees me walking away with Elias and he's just staring the whole time, probably pissed that I just embarrassed him.

~

"I don't have to actually go to the doctor," I state.

Elias laughs, "I know..."

The car ride is clearly going nowhere. He's probably just circling around the block a few times and taking me home.

"How'd you know?"

"We've known each other forever," Elias explains to me, "Just because you and Gato have grown so close doesn't mean you aren't close to anyone else. I look at you as one of my best friends. Did you know that?"

I pause for a minute. Elias and I were always really cool, I would say. We didn't talk on the phone a lot or anything like that but he was always around. He was always supportive.

So maybe that's why I shrug, "I can see that."

"And I need you..."

"Huh?"

"At the shop, I mean," he explains, "I need you back. You're the best worker I have."

"Listen I can train new people if you want, I can----"

"I want you," he states.

This time he says it more aggressively and more assertively. He wants to make sure I don't keep pushing back in the way that I do.

"Gato."

"Fine, I'll bring Gato back, if that means I can have you around," he states.

I pause. I did need the money. Sure I could find another job around here but I actually cared about working for Elias. I wanted to see Edges prosper. I believed in his vision.

"Why me?" I ask.

"What?"

"Why do you need me around so much?"

Elias shrugs, "I think you're always positive. Smart. Attractive. Kind. I know that Gato stole that money to start your restaurant..."

"Elias..."

"It's OK. I'm cool with him having it. My father was an idiot for not helping to support you. I want to help you with that. Come back to Edges and be my mentor. Give me three months and I'll personally help you build out your restaurant."

He believed in me. Hearing Elias comes alive and says that to me sends shivers down my spine. I smile feeling like there was actually someone on my side. Knowing that changed everything.

I'm so happy that I lean over and hug him. I hug him hard.

While hugging him I just stop and whisper, "There's one more thing..."

"What is it?"

"You had F.A.M at the restaurant. I don't feel comfortable with them being there."

He raises an eyebrow, "Have you gotten tested?"

I shake my head, "That's the point."

I am afraid he's going to ask me why I'm afraid to be around the F.A.M. I'm scared he's going to ask me if I've had symptoms. Instead of doing that though he just nods.

"To have you back with me, I'd do anything," Elias explains, "They are gone."

I smile, "Thanks, Elias."

"Anything to see you smile."

It gets awkward. I hadn't noticed it but we are in a parking lot. It's a private parking lot. It's dark. Almost pitch black actually. Elias looks over at me. He's staring at my lips as though observing a smile. Seeing him staring as long as he did makes my smile sort of fade a little bit.

"We waiting for something or-----"

"Just kind of wanted some time alone," Elias explains, "Some time away from Gato. For once."

"It's kind of quiet."

Quiet and awkward. We're just sitting in the car. Elias hears me say it's kind of quiet. Maybe that's why he picks up his phones, connects to Bluetooth and starts playing music. The kind of music that starts playing is what surprises me.

The sounds of Imagine by Arianna Grande start strumming over the radios. Elias leans his car back and clothes his eyes. I stare over at him. There are sweat beads trickling down his chest. He opens up his shirt a little bit. It's hot in the car, but I watch him swallow his spit and know the sweat is coming from another place. He's nervous.

I stare at the dashboard trying my best to play cool, but every few seconds I'm looking back over Elias. What is he doing? Why is he not talking?

"I didn't get tested either," he whispers.

It's a strange thing for him to say at a moment like this. It's a strange revelation. Why agree to have F.A.M bring people to your restaurant if you weren't going to get tested yourself? Then I remember Olivia. She was usually in charge of things like that.

"Do you think it's real?" he asks.

"There is some virus going around turning people gay?" he asks, and laughs a little bit, "Freaky idea right. I wonder how that even works. You like girls and then one day you what? Look at some boy. Some beautiful attractive boy with nice...soft...lips that you just want to kiss."

I shrug, "Pretty much."

"What happens next?" he asks.

"What do you mean?"

He turns towards me, squinting, "What happens next? After you find yourself attractive. I guess you act on it? Huh? You find different ways to be alone with him. You wear your best cologne. You go out of your way."

He smelled good. I hadn't noticed it before. What I don't notice either is Elias turning to me. His eyes pressing up against me.

"I should get back to the house. Gato is probably there by now."

"Fuck Gato."

"Elias?"

"No, fuck him," Elias responds, "Why do you always bring him up?"

"He's my best friend."

"No, he's not," Elias explains, "I am. I've always been that for you..."

He is sounding kind of aggressive in the way that he says it.

"Elias you been drinking?"

I hadn't noticed it either but I turn around and notice the empty bottle in the backseat of his car. Had he gone to church like that? Seeing him now with his eyes hanging low I can see that I couldn't smell the alcohol underneath a hidden smell of mints. Knowing that he was drunk brought this into a whole different perspective.

"Just a little bit," he states, "I was nervous about this."

"This? What is this?"

"This is me telling you that I'm in love with you," Elias explains, "This is me telling you that I was the one who was always there for you. I was the one who you belong with."

Just at that moment Elias reaches over and grabs me. I don't expect it. I don't expect him to slip his tongue down my throat. I don't expect him to press his fingers up against dick. He holds it firmly and I feel his tongue moving from my lips to the side of my neck. At first, it feels good but I fight it. I push him away as hard as I can.

"I'm not with that man..." I state.

Elias shakes his head, "Yo calm down..."

"Elias I'm not gay."

He doesn't care, "Yo relax. You don't know how strong my feelings are for you. They came out of nowhere. I just want to make you feel good. As good as you make me feel."

Elias was attractive. That wasn't the problem. The problem wasn't that I wasn't feeling gay feelings. The problem was something else.

Something deep inside.

"Elias...I may be going into the phase too but..."

"Good then----"

"But I'm only interested in Gato right now..."

That's when I feel it.

A slap. A hard slap across my face.

When the sting comes out of nowhere I can almost feel my body react in shock. I grab my cheek. Elias is looking at me in this analytical way. He's trying to see how I would react to the slap almost before he reacts. Honestly, I'm bothered.

"Yo bro---you just fucking hit me," I state.

"I'm sorry to listen---come here... I apologize," he states, "It's just pissing me off that you always talk about Gato. Gato isn't man enough for you. Not like I am. Ask him. Ask him about that one time when we were kids----"

"What are you talking about Elias?"

"The one time he likes to pretend didn't happen. The one time where I held him down...and fucked him while he squirmed and tried to pull away..."

My heart races at that moment realizing this is what Elias did to Gato. All of a sudden I just feel this heated sensation all around me. Elias did this to Gato. He fucking RAPED Gato!

I reach for the door handle. I try to get out.

"Let me out."

That's when I feel him grabbing for my pants. He's grabbing for my ass. His fingers are literally digging into my pants trying to get to my asshole. Before I know it we're fighting. I'm hitting him in the face and he's hitting me back. Punching me over and over.

"STOP IT, ELIAS," I'm screaming.

The voice gets blended away. He's not going to stop it. He's going to keep going.

He was forcing himself on me.

"You belong to me," he says aggressively, "You hear me? Your ass in mine..."

 

 

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