Date: Tue, 17 Nov 2009 13:15:54 -0600
From: Samuel Nightingale <dagdaserver@gmail.com>
Subject: Truly Madly Deeply (The Way It Should've Been)

Truly Madly Deeply
(The way it should have happened)
By Sam Nightingale


Prologue

	This story, unfortunately, is NOT true. The actual story does not
have such a happy ending. If you would like to read what really happened,
follow this link: /nifty/gay/highschool/truly-madly-deeply. I wrote this
story as a therapeutic way to deal with the pain of what actually did
happen.


I
Deep Green

	I had always searched for a pair of eyes that could peer into the
depths of my soul. I was so happy on the day I found those eyes.

	It all started two years ago this October 30. I was 16. It was a
beautiful fall day. The leaves were turning to match the month. A deep,
golden orange.
	My friend Willow and I were both Celtic Pagans. She had a Welsh
accent, while mine was a light Irish brogue. She had invited me over for a
sleepover and we would celebrate Ancestor Night (known to Christians as
Halloween) together. We both lived close to my school but in different
neighborhoods. When leaving school, there was a particular part of the
street you had to cross to go to either way. One way would lead to Willow's
house. The other would lead to my house. Every day for the past year and a
half, I would walk in the direction of my house. However, on this
particular day, I went towards her house.
	Willow was currently in college, working for her law degree. She
was in town to visit her mother and brother, both of whom I had never
met. She had short brown hair and powder blue eyes. Her curves were long
and sweeping. She always wore bright colors.
	I entered her house and marveled at how grand it was. The walls
were the same color as her eyes. The carpets were white with a sofa, facing
the front door, to match. To the right of the sofa was a powder blue
armchair at a 45-degree angle towards the sofa. To the left was a kitchen
with a window to look in. A spider plant rested on the window's sill. About
two feet down from the window was an open doorway leading into the
kitchen. About five feet down from the doorway was a corridor whose
entrance was exactly parallel to the front door. The corridor had three
doors in a triangle pattern. The single door was on the left and the two
other doors were on the right. All three were closed. At the very end of
the corridor was a door that led to the back yard. Back there was where one
would find a F¾rie Ring (a sacred ring of mushrooms used to do spellwork
in). It was here Willow and I would celebrate the sacred holiday. Directly
across from the window looking into the kitchen was a window looking out
the side of the house. Gossamer drapes were drawn across it. About 12 feet
down from this was a stairway leading up to the second story. Finally, to
the right, in front of the sofa, was a plasma TV on a black TV stand with
glass doors and a stereo.
	As I stepped in, willow introduced me to her mother, Carol. Also
Celtic Pagan with a Welsh accent. Her mother had the same sweeping curves,
but her hair was blond and her eyes were a deep, captivating green. She
also seemed to like bright colors.
	Therefore, I said, as I shook Carol's hand, "You have beautiful
eyes, Mrs. Nightingale."
	She responded, "Thank you. And please, call me Carol."
	I smiled. "Okay, Carol."
	Willow then turned to me, "Would you like a drink?"
	I nodded. "Whiskey sour."
	As Willow stepped into the kitchen, Carol said, "Well, I'm going to
pick up Jordan. Be back soon."
	Willow and I said goodbye to her. Willow stepped out of the kitchen
and gave me my drink. Willow had mixed herself a melontini.
	Willow's family owned a small but very successful distillery and
vineyard. Therefore, their house was always stocked with the best vodkas,
whiskeys, rums, spiced rums, wines, sparkling wines and beers. As I slowly
sipped my drink, I began to feel the resulting buzz. I could tell from
Willow's changed personality that she was, as well.
	As she was mixing a second round, I heard the car door slam. A few
moments later, the front door opened. What it opened to reveal, stole my
breath from me. Standing next to Carol was her 13-year-old son,
Jordan. Willow had described him to me. However, I did not picture him as
magnificent as he stood before me that day. He wore a natural tan. His
beautiful white blond hair grew down to his jaw. His eyes were such a deep
green that I feared I might drown in them. He wore a black sweater and blue
jeans. As I laid eyes on him, however, my mind began to remove those
clothes. I quickly blocked these thoughts as Willow handed me my drink and
introduced me to Jordan after he had removed his shoes. "Sam, this is my
brother, Jordan."
	I stood, bowed my head and placed my hand over my heart. A pagan
greeting. "It's a pleasure. Willow has told me much about you."
	Jordan smiled perfectly with sparkling white teeth and returned my
greeting. "It's nice to meet you, as well." His voiceÑalso WelshÑwas
heavenly. Like the bells of the Notre Dame Cathedral. "I have also heard
much about you from my sister."
	Jordan was one head shorter than I was.
	Willow had once more entered the kitchen. She returned with a flute
glass of sparkling red wine and handed it to Jordan. He sipped it
slowly. As his hand grasped the stem, I noticed how delicate and beautiful
his hands were.
	All of us sat and watched TV for a while. I was sitting on the left
side of the sofa as you face it. Willow was next to me. Her mother was next
to her. Jordan sat in the armchair.
	Jordan finished his first glass of wine and requested another. I
offered to pour it for him. As I took the glass from him, my hand brushed
lightly against his. I paused at how silky soft and smooth it was.
	Jordan looked at me quizzically as I stared at my own fingers. "Is
something wrong?"
	I looked up at him. "Hmmm? Uh...no. Nothing's wrong."
	He gestured to the flute glass. "Then could I get my wine?"
	I looked at the glass. "Oh. Of course."
	I ventured into the kitchen and set the glass down to the right of
the sink on the polished gray marble countertop. I walked over to the white
icebox and opened it. Inside were several foodstuffs. I pulled out an
opaque green bottle. I closed the icebox and walked over to the counter. I
pulled the cork out of the bottleÑthe bottle making a slight pop. I looked
out the window above the sink into the side yard. Then I poured the
drink. As I finished pouring and was pushing the cork back down into the
bottle, I looked to my left out the window that looked into the front
yard. I put the bottle back in the icebox and closed the door. I walked
back into the living room and handed Jordan his drink. He smiled at me and
said, "Thank you, Sam."
	I nodded and sat back down.
	As the evening wore on, the room began to empty. First Carol
retired down the corridor. Followed by Jordan going upstairs.
	As we heard his door close, Willow asked, "So what do you think of
my family?"
	I smiled. "Very... nice."
	She nodded. "Good. Ready of bed?"
	I nodded and we traversed upstairs. The upstairs was just a
corridor with three doors in the opposite pattern as the corridor
downstairs. The first door on the left was a bathroom. Jordan's
bathroom. The second door was Willow's bedroom. With its own full bath. The
singular door on the right was Jordan's room. I would be sleeping in
Willow's room. We went into her room where we changed and climbed into her
queen-sized bed with more than enough room for both of us. Willow's room
had yellow walls with white carpeting. Slightly askew from the foot of the
bed was her desk with a vanity mirror above it. Her bedspread was white and
printed with flowers. Above her bed was a picture of sunflowers in a
watering can. A picture I have inquired about but have received only vague
explanations that have left me more confused than I was before. To the
right of the bed as you face the foot was a window with the same gossamer
curtains as the window downstairs. However, this window had a white bench
in front of it.
	I fell into a gentle slumber. My dreams were, unsurprisingly to me,
of Jordan.
	By this point, you might be wondering where the Nightingale father
was. Well, his parents are divorced. Eric was an Irish Catholic while Carol
was a Celtic Pagan. Eric became everything but physically abusive. Luckily,
Carol was strong enough to see the abuse and kick him out. He now lives one
state over. Now, let's continue with the story.


II
Only Hope

	Music is such a large part of my life. I love to sing and listen to
it. The only problem is I am not instrumentally endowed. Therefore, when I
do sing it is typically acappella.

	I awoke the next morning to find the bed with just myself in
it. Willow was not present. I decided to eat some breakfast then to
shower. As I entered the kitchen, I found a note sitting on the
counter. Without touching it, I read it.

	Dear,
	Sam,
		Mom and I went to the store to get some groceries. We'll be
back soon. Jordan did not want to come. Please watch him while are
gone. Thank you in advance.  Love, Willow

	P.S.
	When we come back, please make us your special omelets. Thanks.

	Of course, I didn't mind watching Jordan. I had watched children
before. From newborns to tweens. Of course, Jordan was 13. Technically,
that made him a teenager. According to the old pagan laws, he was also
considered an adult.
	Furthermore, I was going to make my special omelets. Even though my
passion is in writing, I do have a soft spot for cooking. I went back
upstairs to shower in Jordan's bathroom. Jordan's bathroom was small. As
you entered, to the right of you was the shower. It had a maroon
curtain. The sink was in front of you with a white porcelain countertop. A
vanity mirror was above this. To the left of the sink was a small closet
for the toiletries. To the right of the sinkÑbetween the sink and the
showerÑwas the chamber pot. The floor was white tile to match the sink and
the whitewash walls.
	Now, one habit that I cannot help is that I sing in the shower. I
have been told I do it well, but whether or not that was true is moot. I
enjoy it. I do it. I decided to sing a song from one of my favorite
movies. Only Hope from A Walk to Remember. For the reader's interest, I
will print the lyrics here. Feel free to skip them, as they do not add
anything to the current story.

There's a song that's inside of my soul.  It's the one that I've tried to
write over and over again.  I'm awake in the infinite cold, But you sing to
me over and over again.

So, I lay my head back down, And I lift my hands and pray, To be only
yours.  I pray to be only yours.  I know now, you're my only hope.

Sing to me the song of the stars, Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and
laughing again.  When it feels like my dreams are so far, Sing to me of the
plans that you have for me over again.

So, I lay my head back down, And I lift my hands and pray, To be only
yours.  I pray to be only yours.  I know now, you're my only hope.

I give you my destiny.  I'm giving you al of me.  I want your symphony,
Singing in all that I am, At the top of my lungs.  I'm giving it back.

So, I lay my head back down, And I lift my hands and pray, To be only
yours.  I pray to be only yours.  I pray to be only yours.  I know now,
you're my only hope.

	I finished showering and pulled back the curtain. As I pulled the
curtain away, it revealed Jordan. He was just sitting on the chamber pot
lid, staring at me with his deep green eyes. For bed, he had decided to
wear a blue t-shirt and black shorts.
	I quickly pulled the shower curtain back in front of me. "Jordan!
What are you doing in here?"
	"I woke up and heard you singing. I couldn't hear you very well, so
I came in here. It was beautiful. I've never heard anyone sing like that
before. You know, you don't have to hide behind the shower curtain. We are
both boys after all."
	I removed the curtain. "Yes. I suppose you are right."
	However, as soon as I stepped out of the shower, my penis began to
harden. I quickly grabbed a towel and turned away from Jordan. As I dried
myself, I suddenly felt a slight pinch on my right buttock. Forgetting
about my hardon, I turned to Jordan. He just looked at me, smiling
perfectly all the while.
	I asked, "Why did you do that?"
	He shrugged. "Felt like it. You know, you have a very cute butt,
Sam."
	Taken slightly aback, I cautiously ventured a question that would
change the course of my life in more ways than I could ever have possibly
imagined, "Jordan...are you...attracted...to me?"
	In answer, he stood, walked over to me, threw his arms around my
neck and kissed me so softly I thought it might never have happened. His
lips were so silky soft. As he pulled away, he gave the verbal answer to my
question, "Yes. Very."
	I was obviously speechless.
	Jordan turned, walked a few steps away and then turned back to
me. "Willow talked so much about you and your caring, giving nature. The
more she spoke of you, the more I realized that...I loved you."
	My mind was reeling as it tried to process what had occurred in the
last five minutes. "You...love me?"
	"Very much, Sam. And I know you feel the same way about me."
	"You do?"
	"Please, Sam. I saw your face when you first saw me. You were
spellbound. Then you jumped at the chance to refill my flute glass. And
your pause at when you took the glass and your hand lightly touched mine."
	I remained silent.
	"I knew that I wanted to kiss you; that much I've accomplished. But
I want more from you..."
	I knew what he wanted, but I had to be sure. Therefore, I
tentatively asked, "And that is...?"
	Jordan walked back over to me and whispered so quietly I wasn't
sure he said it, "Make love to me, Sam. Please."
	I knew that he would make this request, but I was so taken aback, I
had to sit down. Jordan squatted down next to me.
	Two voices churned in my head. One yelled, `Don't do it! He is too
young! Think of what this will do to him! Think of the consequences for
both of you!" The other voice was the rebuttalÑa much gentler voice, "He
wants this. And so do you. He loves you. And you love him."
	The latter began to grow louder and louder. Soon it grew loud
enough to drown out the former. I found that both Jordan and the voice were
right. I did love him. Why, I couldn't tell you. But I did.
	I turned to JordanÑhis deep-green eyes waiting patientlyÑand
whispered one single word, "Okay."


III
A Deep-Green Ocean

	Remember those eyes that I almost drowned in? Today I let that
happen.

	I slowly stood. Taking the lead, Jordan gently wrapped his silky
soft hand around mine and led me across the hall to his bedroom. Though we
were the only two in the house, habit caused him to close the
door. Jordan's room had a bay window opposite the door. A crank to open it
rested on its sill. The walls themselves were painted blue. The carpet was
white. The bed was perpendicular to the door and covered with generic white
sheets. A night table rested on the side of the bed closest to the
door. Upon it was a bottle of sweet pea lotion and an analog clock. Against
the right wall was a dresser, next to which on the side of the room with
the window was a two door closet.
	I sat down on the bed. Jordan's body was perfect: a smooth chest,
with two tiny, soft pink nipples centered on either side. A torso that
dropped softly down to where the body tapers to the crotchÑa nice sharp
"V." A Speedo shaped tan line. His uncut penis fully engorged. His smooth
scrotum holding those two small orbs. I turned him around so that I could
take in all of him. His butt had two small dimples on either cheek. He
turned back around and began to approach me. I stopped him and gestured for
him to lye next to me. I had fantasized about my first time for years. I
knew exactly how I wanted it to happen. I first had to know my lover's
body. As Jordan lay next to me, I closed my eyes and ran my hands over
every square inch of his naked body. Every bump, every hollow, every hole,
every crevice became mine and mine alone. And Just as I expected, the rest
of his body was as soft as his hands. As my own hands reached his face, I
opened my eyes. Jordan's face glowed with beauty. I leaned down and kissed
him softly. As I sat back up, I grabbed the bottle of lotion on his night
table. I spread it on my penis and set it beside us on the bed. I
positioned myself between Jordan's legs. I gently lifted his legs, exposing
his virgin hole. Then I slowly and gently entered him. His body tensed
slightly as I pushed deeper. As my body met his, I leaned down and
whispered, "Are you all right? Am I hurting you?"
	He smiled. "You could never hurt me, Sam."
	With that, I began to thrust. A world I had never known was opened
up to me. His bodyÑsofter than silkÑrubbed against mine as he moaned in
pure ecstasy. His fingernails dug into my skin, drawing rivers of blood
down my back. Sweat filled with the sweet aroma of youth erupted from his
pores. I inhaled this sweet ecstasy, so that the world and its evils could
not touch it. Our hands clasped, the sound of them colliding tore through
space and time. With my tongue I caressed the purity of his skin. With my
lips I stole his breath. His soul was revealed to me, and I could see his
motives, his limits, his deepest secrets. I released my soul to him and
they became one. No longer were we two separate entities, but one singular
being, united by pure love. As the hands of love grasped us, I could feel
the purity of this boy fading. I could see the old Jordan dying, being
replaced by something entirely different. A new Jordan. This was something
I had never seen or felt or heard. I did not want it to end, but I knew
that it must. I could feel it racing nearer and nearer. I tried to hold
back, but eventually, he accepted into him that which would drown the rest
of his purity and innocence. That which would drown any that was left of
the old Jordan, leaving something entirely different behind. Jordan's hands
entangled themselves in my hair and his body tensed as his back lifted off
the bed. He let it down with a mighty crack as all that was left of him
faded, and he released the very last ounce of himself.
	I collapsed on the bed to the right of Jordan. Our chests heaved as
breath escaped in gusts from our lips.
	I looked over at the boy whose innocence I had so easily
taken. "Jordan...are you okay?"
	He returned my gaze. A deep glow radiated from his entire being. "I
feel... I have never felt so...heavenly."
	"Neither have I."
	"Sam...?"
	"Yes."
	"Will you hold me?"
	I smiled. "Of course, my love."
	I opened my arms to him and he crawled into them. I wrapped my arms
around him. His body felt warm, soft and comforting.
	"I love you, Sammie," I heard him whisper.
	"I love you, too"
	About three seconds later, Jordan's breathing slowed and became
steady. He was asleep. As I listened to the sound of my lover's breathing,
I realized that I, too, was quite exhausted. I looked at his bedside
clockÑ10:00hrs. As I watched the second hand tick slowly around the clock
face, my eyes began to droop. I fell into a gentle slumber.

	I stand in a verdant field dressed in a white satin robe. There is
a lake a few yards ahead of me. The entire valley is surrounded by trees. A
glen. I know this place. It's...
	"Welcome to paradise, my son."
	I turn to the voice. A woman strides out of the forest behind
me. She has beautiful white hair and sapphire blue eyes. She, too, wears a
white satin robe. But at her side is a gleaming white sword. Sprites and
small dragons dance about the shining crown that she wears upon her head.
	I kneel to the queen of the Celtic Pantheon. "Lady Danu."
	She gently places her hand on my shoulder. "You need not kneel to
me here, my son. This is your home. I am your guest."
	I stand. "Lady Danu, am I dead?"
	She smiles. "Far from it, my son. This is a vision."
	"Of what?"
	"Of what awaits you after death. Jordan is seeing his paradise as
well. My daughter Rhiannon is attending to him."
	"Why am I seeing this?"
	"When such strong love between two people is finally united, it has
the potential to unlock the part of the mind, the soul and the heart that
opens the gateway to this place. Both you and Jordan have done so."
	Her face turns from joyous to grave. "But now you must be careful."
	"Of what?"
	"This is not the only gateway opened by your love. There are things
that will try to destroy your love. Creatures. D¾mons."
	"That feed on destruction, right?"
	She nods. "That is all I can say."
	She turns and walks back into the forest.
	A voice from far away draws nearer and nearer, "Sam...Sam...Wake up,
Sam...Sam, wake up."

	I jolted back into reality. I was back in Jordan's room. He was
looking at me. Trying to wake me.
	"Jordan. Why did you wake me? I was..."
	He smiled. "In paradise."
	I nodded and returned his smile.
	"I woke you because my mom and sister are back."
	We both scrambled to get up. I could hear Willow calling for us as
Jordan got dressed.
	"Shite," I cursed.
	Jordan paused in dressing and looked at me. "What?"
	"My clothes are in the bathroom."
	"Shite. I'll go down and cover for you."
	I nodded. Jordan finished dressing and went downstairs. I snuck
across the hall into the bathroom. I dressed quickly and went downstairs.
	"Hey, Sam," Willow said as I entered the kitchen. "I'm heating up
the skillet."
	 "Okay," I said. "Where's Carol?"
	"Bathroom." She turned to Jordan. "By the way, little brother, your
shirt's on inside out."
	Jordan and I both froze for a fraction of a second. Jordan took it
in stride. "Huh. I wonder how that happened. Oh, well. C'est la vie."
Jordan quickly removed his shirt and turned it the correct way. As the
skillet heated up, I began to make my omelets. Carol returned to the
kitchen, and we exchanged pleasantries. I served breakfast.
	The day passed normally into evening. Willow and I excused
ourselves as we went to her F¾rie Circle. A few yards away from the F¾rie
Circle was the pool. The clear night sky reflected in the still waters. As
we stepped into its safe boundaries and began to set the altar, Willow
asked, "So how was it?"
	Not sure what she meant, I asked, "How was what?"
	"Duh. The sex."
	"You mean with you, right?"
	"No. I mean Jordan."
	I was not as shocked as you might think. "How diÑ"
	"Please Sam," she interrupted, "I could see the signs. Jordan's
messy hair. His inside out shirt. The way you looked at him when you came
into the kitchen. Plus, the way you acted around him last night. Did you
have the vision?"
	I nodded.
	"Good."
	I frowned. "You're not mad?"
	"Mad? I'm thrilled. You both had the vision." She answered my
question before I asked it, "I already talked to Jordan. I'm glad you both
had the vision."
	"You're not going to tell, are you?"
	She smiled. "Don't worry. You're obvious secret is safe with me."
	I smiled as we stepped into the center of the circle. "So have you
had your vision?"
	She nodded.
	"With whom?"
	Willow nervously cleared her throat. "You."
	Now, I was shocked. "Me?"
	She nodded. "You were so sweet that I fell in love with you. I knew
you were gay as soon as I met you, but I couldn't help my feelings. That's
why I offered to be your...test. I knew you would give me the vision."
	"Who was your guide?"
	"Lord Dagda."
	I nodded and we began the ritual.
	We finished the ritual and cleaned up, putting everything back in
what used to be the garden shed. Now, the Nightingales used it as a storage
shed for their Magickal items. We traversed inside the house and went
straight upstairs. I stopped at Jordan's door, fingering the knob.
	I heard Willow open her door. "Night, Sam."
	I looked from the doorknob to her. "'Night."
	She slipped inside her room and closed the door.
	I opened Jordan's door and entered his room. The light of the full
moon was shining through the window, casting a glow about the room and
bathing Jordan in silver water. He had tried to wait up for me but had
fallen asleep. He was laid spread eagle on his bed, wearing nothing but a
pair of navy blue briefs. His naked chest moved up and down lightly. I
stripped naked, crept over to the bed and straddled Jordan's hips. I leaned
down and kissed him softly. After a moment's time, I felt him kissing
back. I felt his tongue press lightly against my lips. I opened my mouth,
allowing it entrance; it slid smoothly over mine.
	I broke the kiss and stared into eyes as deep as the sea.
	Jordan smiled. "Hi, baby."
	I felt my heart melt. No one had ever called me baby before.
	I smiled back. "Hi."
	I crawled back. I slipped Jordan's briefs down his slender thighs
and off. His body glowed in the silver of the moonlight. I grabbed the
lotion and spread it on Jordan's penis. I straddled his hips once more and
slipped him inside me. The two of us remained frozen for a few
minutes. Then I began to ride him. After a few minutes, I felt Jordan
thrusting his hips into me. Soon, I felt Jordan fill me. The feeling was
enough to push me over the edge. I collapsed to the right of him. Without
him even asking, I took him into my arms.
	"I love you, Sammie."
	"I love you, too."
	After a few minutes, he fell asleep. For some reason, I couldn't
take my eyes off him. Before I knew it, the sun broke through the window
and gently caressed Jordan's naked body. His green eyes opened and looked
up at me. He smiled. "Morning, Sammie."
	"Morning, love."
	He kissed me. "I can't believe I'm waking up next to you."
	I hugged him tight. "Neither can I."
	He smelled strongly of the events of last night. "We should go
shower."
	We stood and crossed the hallÑnaked. I turned on the water and we
stood under its flowÑarms wrapped around each other. I faced Jordan away
from me and gently pressed him against the wall. I entered himÑthe water
acting as a lubricant. After a while, it ended once more. We finished
showering and snuck back across the hall. We laid down on his bed. Jordan
was lying on his stomach. After an hour or so, I sat up and reached for the
bottle of lotion. I felt Jordan's soft hand grab my wrist. I looked back at
him, and he was shaking his head.
	"Are you sure," I asked.
	"Yes."
	I smiled. "Okay, but you must do the same for me."
	He smiled back. "Of course."
	I straddled Jordan's thighs. I felt a small amount of resistance,
then I slipped inside of him. As my body met his, I leaned down and
whispered, "Are you alright. Does it hurt?"
	"A little. But it's a good pain...because it's you."
	Boy, did he know the right places to touchÑboth emotionally and
physically. I began to thrust. It was difficult for us both at first, but
eventually his muscles relaxed and we both fell into our usual pattern of
sexual noises: grunts, gasps, moans, sighs and the occasional swear. All
too soon, it ended and I held Jordan in my arms once more.
	"I love you, Sammie."
	"I love you, too."
	We both fell asleep.

	Again I stand in the verdant field. Lady Danu stands next to me.
	"I can see that it is going well."
	I smile. "Oh, Lady Danu, I have never been happier. Thank you for
sending me such a wonderful gift."
	She returns my smile. "You are welcome, my son. But you must be
careful. There are already forces at work that will try to take this
happiness away from you. When the time comes that they will strike, I may
not be able to stop it."
	I nod.


IV
I Want To Hold Your Hand

	I loved to hold Jordan's hand. I never wanted to let it go.

	Jordan awoke me with a soft kiss. "Morning, baby."
	"Hi."
	Jordan kissed me again and pressed his tongue against my lips. I
allowed it in. After a few minutes of tongue wrestling, I rolled over onto
my stomach. Jordan positioned himself and pushed himself inside of me. It
was difficult for us both at first, but eventually my muscles relaxed and
we fell into our usual pattern of sexual noises. Soon I felt Jordan fill me
and I felt the sticky warm sensation between myself and the bed. Luckily,
Willow did the laundry. I rolled back over and took Jordan into my arms. We
laid there for a long time.
	I awoke to a knock at the door and a, "Sam, it's Willow."
	"Just a moment," I called.
	I quickly dressed and opened the door. "Yeah."
	"Wakey Wakey, eggs and bakey. Of course, you'll be making the eggs
and bakey."
	I closed the door and woke up Jordan. "Get dressed, baby."
	He dressed and we went downstairs. We entered the kitchen. Willow
was preparing the ingredients for breakfast. Carol was not present. I asked
Willow where she was.
	"She's changing. They are having some trouble at the factory. She
has to go in."
	Jordan wrapped his arms around my waist, pulled me in close and
kissed me. "So what do you want to do today, love."
	I wanted to go out with Jordan. Leave the house. Flaunt our
love. "Let's go to the park."
	"That sounds wonderful."
	Jordan let go of me, and I turned to Willow. "WillowÑ"
	"Absolutely." She tossed me the keys to her car. While I didn't
have my license, I was an excellent driver. I pocketed her keys.
	Carol rushed into the kitchen. She was still pinning up her
hair. "Sorry, kids. I've go to run. Crisis at the factory. I'll be back as
soon as I can."
	Then she was gone. I made the rest of us breakfast and we ate in
the living room. As we finished, I took everyone's plates in the kitchen,
rinsed them off and put them in the dishwasher. I went back into the living
room and pulled Willow's keys out of my pocket. "Shall we."
	Jordan stood and we walked out the door together.
	Willow's car was gorgeous and expensive. A roll-top red Ferrari
with genuine Italian leather seats and a CD changer in the trunk. We got in
and I turned it on. Jewel began playing on the CD player and I turned it
up. I put the top down and pulled out of the drive. I drove us down to
Hayworth Park.
	As we got out of the car and began walking towards the river,
Jordan's fingers interlaced with mine. I stopped walking.
	Jordan turned to me. "Sammie, what's wrong?"
	"Oh, nothing. It's stupid. Come on." I started walking.
	Jordan didn't move. "Please tell me, baby."
	I turned to him. "I just love the feeling I get when you hold my
hand like that."
	He smiled. "Then I promise I will never let go of your hand."
	We walked over to one of the benches and sat down. Jordan's hand
never let go of mine.


V
A Sea Of Emotion

	I have seen Jordan's eyes filled with the warmth of love, the fires
of rage and the clouds of sorrow. But I took comfort in the fact that I
could always bring the warmth of love back into them.

	Jordan and I sat on the bench for hours. Until sunset. Now, it
matters not where you go, but you will always run into those who are
prejudice against your love. That person for me was Randy Yulgar. He was
the epitome of social prejudice's. He was racist, sexist, homophobic,
ageist plus a whole plethora of other prejudices. No one liked him. Except
for his girlfriend Cassie. Which was a shame, because she was such a sweet
girl. However, I knew why she liked him. He was pretty. He had long brown
hair, soft blue eyes and freckles.
	I didn't even notice he was there until he came up behind us and
said, "Hey, fags. How we doing?"
	I didn't turn around. I kept Jordan from looking at him. "Go away,
Randy. I don't bother you when you are with Cassie."
	"Yes. But the difference is that when I am with Cassie, I am not
doing anything wrong."
	Jordan let go of my hand, stood and turned to Randy. I could see
the fires of rage in his eyes. It scared me. And I could see a small amount
of fear in Randy's face as well.
	"You think what we are doing is wrong when you stand there and
judge us. Judgment is wrong as well. So don't you come over here, pitching
some bull-shite about doing something wrong. Now get the fuck out of my
face before I pound yours in."
	Randy turned and walked away. I turned Jordan to meÑthe fires of
rage doused by sorrow and tears. The green of his eyes seemed to have
faded. I hugged him close and said nothing. He wept silently into my
chest. Soon, his sobs faded. He looked at meÑhis eyes as green as everÑand
smiled.
	"I love you, Sammie."
	"I love you, too."
	We interlaced our fingers and started to walk back to Willow's
car. As we were passing the little white gazebo in the park, Jordan tripped
and fell into the cala lily bed that grew around it. I helped him out. "Are
you okay?"
	Jordan laughed. "I'm fine."
	We got back to the house and went inside. Carol and Willow were in
the living room listening to music.
	We sat down.
	"Sam," Willow said, "I picked up some clothes for you if you want
to stay a few more days."
	"Thanks, hon."
	Willow smiled.
	After a few songs, Savage Garden's "Truly Madly Deeply" began to
play. Both Jordan and I said, "I love that song."
	We looked at each other and knew that we had our own song.
	Soon, it was time for bed. We went upstairs and started making
out. We stripped naked and I laid on top of Jordan, my tongue exploring his
mouth. Jordan pulled away.
	"Sam..."
	"Yes, my love."
	"Can I...uh..."
	"Can you what?"
	He gently touched my penis and then his lips.
	"Is that what you want?"
	"It is."
	"Then of course you can."
	I rolled over onto my back. Jordan positioned himself between my
legs and took me into his mouth. His lips glided gently over the surface of
my penisÑhis tongue massaging the sensitive underside. Gasps and moans
poured from my mouth as saliva dripped from his. My fingers enmeshed
themselves in Jordan's hair. I felt my orgasm approaching. Subconsciously,
I pushed Jordan's head all the way down as I emptied myself into his
throat. Without missing a beat, Jordan took it all in. He crawled into my
armsÑhis sweat smelled of flowers. Cala lilies.
	"I love you, Sammie."
	"I love you, too."
	We fell asleep.
 	I awoke the next morning. Jordan was still asleep. I decided to
return the favor of last night. I slipped out of Jordan's arms and oriented
myself so that we were crotch-to-face. I began to massage Jordan's
penis. As soon as the first moan escaped his lips, I took him into my
mouthÑcausing him to moan even louder. I began to slide my lips up and
down. A few seconds later, I felt Jordan doing the same to me. This was the
most amazing sensation I had ever felt. Never had the two of us been as
connected as we were right now. As with every time with Jordan, it ended
too soon. Again, I held Jordan in my arms.
	"I love you, Sammie."
	"I love you, too."
	We fell asleep.

	Again I am called to the glen.
	"Lady Danu, why do you keep bringing me here?"
	"To warn you, Sam. The forces of evil are getting closer to you and
Jordan. Something terrible is going to happen. And soon. Please be
careful."
	"I will try M'Lady. I will try."


VI
Romance and Passion

	I love romance. You could say I have a passion for it. The two go
hand in hand. Passion usually accompanies romance. That's one of the
attractive qualities of romance. However, I would probably still love
romance even if its mate was not passion.

	Jordan and I had been dating for quite a while. For our one-month
anniversary, I wanted to do something special for him. Something he'd never
forget. I found out that there was a Savage Garden concert coming to
town. I saved up enough money for seats and bought two tickets.
	But I wanted to do more. I knew what it was, too. A few nights
before the concert, I talked to Willow to help me out. She agreed.
	I surprised Jordan with the tickets the night before the show. He
was so excited that we ended up having sex. No matter how many times, how
many different ways we did it, sex with Jordan never lost its passion.
	Willow dropped us off at the concert hall. We found our seats and
sat down. When the band played our song, I wanted to take Jordan then and
there. Unfortunately, we were in a public setting. Besides, I wanted to
save it for later that night.
	The concert ended. Willow picked us up and took us back to her
house. I silently led Jordan up to his room. I gestured for him to go
first. He turned the knob and entered. His eyes filled with wonder. Thrown
about the room were lily petals. His favorite flower. Mine, too. Lying on
the bed was a bouquet of various lily breeds. Lighting the room were dozens
of blue candles. His favorite color. He turned to me. "Sam...this
is...amazing."
	"Well, I put a lot of thought into it."
	He strode over to me and kissed me softly. He then walked over to
the bed, picked up the bouquet, inhaled its aroma and set the bouquet on
his night table. Jordan stripped naked, and I followed suit. We laid down
on the bed, andÑour bodies entwined, rolling around on the lily petalsÑwe
made sweet, soft and, of course, passionate love.


VII
Forgiveness

	Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to give. Especially when
you have been hurt very badly by the one asking for it. But there is one
force that can destroy all others. That force is love. For, love is lord of
heaven and earth.

	I tried to spend as much time with Jordan as I could, which was
actually quite often. The fact that Willow knew helped a lot. Of course, we
didn't want to spend every day together. We did have our own lives to live.
	I loved it when he called me Sammie. There was this special way he
would say my name that would make my heart melt in an instant. I could
never say no to him after he said my name in that special wayÑno matter
what he asked of me. A night after I had seen Jordan, I got a call from
him.
	"Hi, baby. What's up?"
	"Sam, I'm sick. Influenza. I don't think we should get together for
a while."
	"Awww. Poor baby. Do you need anything? Do you want me to come
over?"
	"No. I don't want you to get sick, too."
	"You sure?"
	"Yeah."
	"Okay. Love you. Bye."
	I cradled the phone.
	I sat down and turned on the TV. I couldn't stop thinking about
Jordan. I decided to go over anyway. Before I went, I made a pot of my very
own chicken noodle soup. Campbell's¨ can't hold a candle to what I
make. But don't ask. It's a secret. I put the soup in some Tupperware and
left for Willow's houseÑshe had gone back to college a few weeks earlier. I
opened the door and immediately noticed something was off. It was
quiet. Too quiet. Carol wasn't there. Sure, she supported her whole family,
but she was the boss. I was sure her distillery and vineyard would've been
fine for a day or two without her. Regardless, I didn't make too much
noiseÑin case Jordan was resting. I put the soup in the fridge and took off
my jacket, as it was November. I tossed my jacket on the sofa and quietly
crept up the stairs. Jordan's door was closed, as I expected it to be. I
quietly turned the knob and opened the door. What was revealed to me
shocked me so badly that I stood frozen. Jordan's head was bobbing up and
down on the dick of another boy. Stephen Conner. A brilliant boy who took
his smarts to the streets and became a juvenile delinquent. And even though
I hate to admit it, he was very hot.
	As Jordan realized I was there, he stood. "Sam. Wh-what are you
doing here?"
	I croaked out, "Jordan, how...could you?"
	He walked over to me. "Sam IÑ"
	I slapped him across the face. "How could you do this to me,
Jordan?! I thought you loved me!"
	"I did. I do."
	"Bull shite! If you did, you wouldn't be sucking the dick of this
degenerate lowlife."
	Conner interjected. "So the gloves come off."
	I turned to him. "You stay out of this, you snake."
	I turned back to Jordan. "And you. Don't you dare speak to me ever
again!"
	I stormed out.
	As soon as I got home, I went right to my room and wept for
hours. Once all the tears were gone, I extricated myself from my room and
watched TV with Mom in the living room. A fall rain rolled in. Jordan took
my words to heart. He did not attempt to call me. Mom went to bed as I
continued to watch TV. As I was watching Scrubs, I heard the faintest knock
at my door. At first, I wasn't sure I heard it. Then I heard it again and
knew it was for real. I stood and opened the door. There, kneeling on my
stoop was Jordan. His clothes soaked from the rain. His hair matted to his
head.
	"P-p-p-please, S-S-Sam," he begged. "F-forgive me."
	I stood there for a moment, contemplating my next
move. Reluctantly, I gave in. I grabbed him roughly by the arm and pulled
him inside. "Get in here."
	"Are you daft," I said once he was inside. "You'll catch your death
out there."
	As he entered the light, I could see that his soft lips were
cracked and tinged blue. His hands were shaking violently.
	I pointed to the sofa. "Sit."
	He did. I went to my room and grabbed my blanket. On the way back I
grabbed a towel from the bathroom. I wrapped my blanket around him and
dried off his head. I put the towel back in the bathroom. I then went into
the kitchen and heated water for tea. Once the water was heated, I poured
two cups of Nighttime Tea. I walked back into the living room. I tried to
give Jordan his cup, but his hands were shaking too violently to hold onto
it. I set his cup down on the end table and took him into my arms. As his
shivers faded, all my sorrow, anger and fears melted away. The last of his
shivers subsided and I let him go.
	He looked at me with soft green eyes. "Sam, IÑ"
	I interrupted him this time with a soft kiss. "It is all right,
Jordan. I forgive you."
	"I promise I will never hurt you like that again. Or any other
way."
	I kissed him again and handed him his tea. We drank in silence. As
midnight rolled around, I could tell that Jordan was fatigued. I helped him
to my bedroom and called Carol to tell her he was there and that he was
fine.

	I told you that love was strong. Besides, Conner is a serpent. He
destroys people's lives by charming them and bringing them down. Exactly
what Danu warned me about. At least, that's what I thought.


VIII
The Proposal

      Since the story from here on out is not true, the chapters will no
longer have an introduction.

	It was December 19, a cold, snowy day. It was after school. Willow
and I were at my house.
	She asked me a question that always comes up when we're alone, "So,
how's Jordan?"
	I gave the same answer, "Amazing," but this time I added a little
more. I reached into the drawer of my night table and pulled out a small,
blue felt ring box.
	"I have something for him."
	Willow opened the ring box. Though I couldn't see what was inside,
I already knew. A sterling silver ring with beautiful Celtic knotwork
wrapped around the band.
	Willow looked from the ring to me. "Oh, my god, Sam. This is
beautiful. How in the world..."
	"Did I afford it?"
	She nodded.
	"I saved for weeks to get it. I hope he says yes."
	"Oh, of course he will. He loves you with all his heart. How are
you going to do it?"
	"The little white gazebo at Hayworth Park."
	"That's perfect. Especially this time of year with all the
snow. He's getting out of school soon. Shall we?" She stood.
	I followed suit. We got in her car, and I decided to drive. We were
headed towards the part of the street you had to cross to go either way
when her mobile phone rang. She answered. It was her friend Kristine.
	As I approached the crosswalk, I noticed Stephen Conner harassing
Jordan. I pulled into the drive that leads up to Jordan's school and got
out of the car. "Jordan!" He turned to meÑtears in his eyes.
	"Sam!"
	He ran over to me and pulled me into a tight embrace. "Take me
home."
	I looked over at Conner. He had his arms crossed and was staring at
us, glowering. As I laid eyes on him, my blood boiled. I looked into
Jordan's beautiful eyes that had been dimmed by the tears. "Get in the
car. I'll be back in a moment."
	"Sam..."
	"It's alright. Trust me."
	He nodded and let go of me. I walked over to Conner. I grabbed him
by the shirt, pulled him in close and growled through gritted teeth, "If
you ever harass me or my boyfriend ever again, I will bring you down, and I
will bring you down hard." In one motion, I let go of his shirt and shoved
him away from me. I turned and walked away. As I approached the car, I
heard an angry scream. I ducked as a fist flew over my head. I kicked back
hitting Conner in the lower chest. His legs buckled and he fell to his
knees. I then turned and kicked upward, hitting him in the nose. He fell
back. As Conner lay on the ground, holding his most likely broken nose I
stood over him, clicked my tongue, shook my head and said, "I took Irish
martial arts. And I graduated at the top of my Krav Maga class. I warned
you I'd bring you down."
	I walked over to the car and got in. Willow had already got in the
driver seat and started home. Jordan stared at me, wide-eyed and
open-mouthed.
	"What?"
	"Sam...how did...I didn't...how did..."
	I kissed him softly. "I wanted to take classes just in case. The
first lesson you learn in any martial arts is not to engage someone in a
fight. Only use it for self defense."
	Jordan smiled, slipped his arm around my waist and rested his head
on my shoulder. I slipped my arm around his shoulders and rested my head on
his head.
	We reached the house and went inside. Jordan sat on the couch as
Willow went into the kitchen. I followed her. As willow stood at the
counter mixing the drinks, I said, "Willow, I can't wait to ask Jordan. I
want to do it now."
	"Are you sure?"
	"Yes."
	"Okay. I'll make an excuse and give you both some privacy."
	"Thanks."
	She smiled and handed me a whiskey sour. We walked into the living
room and willow handed Jordan a kamikazeÑvodka mixed with blue raspberry.
	"Well," Willow said, "I'm kind of tired. I think I'll go take a
nap."
	Both Jordan and I nodded. Willow went upstairs to her room. I sat
down on the couch and I took Jordan into my arms. After a while, I said,
"Jordan, there's something I want to ask you."
	He pulled away and looked at me. "Okay. What is it?"
	"Just let me get it out all out before you say anything."
	Jordan swallowed nervously. "Okay."
	I took Jordan's soft hands in mine and looked lovingly into his
beautiful eyes. "Jordan, I love you so very much. I never want to be apart
from you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So..." I reached into
my pocket, pulled out the ring box and opened it. "...will you marry me?"
	Jordan's eyes sparkled with wonder as he looked at the
ring. "Sam...I..." He looked from the ring to me and smiled. "Of course I
will." He took the ring out of the box and looked at it. "You got it
engraved. `I love you more with every breath.'"
	Jordan slipped the ring onto his finger. "A perfect fit."
	Jordan kissed me softly. "I love you, too, Sam. So very much."
	Jordan reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring box that
looked exactly like mine. "I have one for you, too." He opened the
box. Inside was a ring with an emerald centered in several much smaller
emeralds. "It's also engraved."
	I took out the ring and looked at the inside of the band. `I want
to live like this forever.' I slipped the ring onto my finger and kissed
Jordan again. Jordan laid down on the couch And rested his head on my
lap. After a while, I said, "You know we're going to have to tell your
mom. And mine."
	Jordan sat back up. "Yeah. That's true. That's not going to be
easy."
	I placed my hand on the side of Jordan's face. "With you by my
side, I can do anything."
	"As can I...how do you think they'll react?"
	"Well, your mom already knows your gay. Mine doesn't. This probably
won't be as big a deal for your mom as it will be for mine. But my mom will
be okay after a while."
	Jordan nodded.
	After a few minutes, I heard Willow shout from the top of the
stairs, "How's it going?"
	I smiled and shouted back, "You can come down now."
	Willow came down the stairs and sat in the armchair. "So, how'd it
go?"
	Both Jordan and I held up our hands, showing Willow the rings. She
let out a squeal of glee. "This is great. You know you're going have to
tell mom."
	I nodded. "Yeah. We went over that. The sooner the better. In
fact..." I looked at Jordan, "...my mom's at home right now."
	Jordan nodded. "Okay."
	I held out my hand and willow placed her keys in it. "We'll be back
soon."



IX
An Uncomfortable Situation

	We went out and got in the car. I turned on the engine and drove
over to my house. I parked on the street because Willow's car would scrape
against the driveway when I backed out. We sat in silence for awhile.
	Jordan broke the silence. "The sooner the better."
	I nodded and we got out of the car. We ascended the stairs and went
inside. Mom was on the couch watching TV. "Hey, Mom."
	"Hey." She looked at Jordan. "Who's he?"
	"His name is Jordan. He's Willow's brother."
	They said hi to each other.
	We stood silent for a second. I cleared my throat. "Mom, I need to
talk to you."
	"Okay." She turned off the TV.
	I sat down on the couch and Jordan sat between us.
	"Mom, Jordan and I...we're...I'm." I took a second and gathered my
thoughts. "Jordan and I are engaged. I'm gay."
	She didn't say anything.
	"Now. I know you need some time to process, so I'm going to spend
the night at Willow's. Just give me a call when you're all done."
	Jordan and I stood and moved towards the door. As we were about to
step out, I turned back and said, "Oh, and we had sex."
	I stepped outside, closed the door and shuddered. "Well, that went
as I expected."
	Jordan turned to me. "Is that a good thing?"
	"I hope so."
	We went down to the car and went back to Willow's. As we went
inside, I saw Willow sitting in the armchair and Carol sitting on the
couch. They were listening to music. We all exchanged pleasantries.
	I then turned to Jordan. "Jordan, can I see you in the kitchen?"
	"Sure."
	We both went into kitchen. I turned to him. "Are you going to tell
you mom now?"
	He nodded. "The sooner the better."
	Without another word, we went into the living room, and Jordan sat
on the couch and I sat between him and his mom. Carol could tell that
something was up. She turned off the stereo. "Okay. What's going on?"
	Jordan began, "Well, mom, I have a boyfriend. And I want to marry
him."
	Carol's face lit up. "Really? Who is he? Do I know him?"
	As Jordan spoke his fingers slowly interlaced with my own. "Well,
he's very sweet. I love him very much. Um...Oh, he's also from the UK. And
he's a Celt."
	I could see Carol's mind attempting to connect the dots. Then she
noticed Jordan was holding my hand, and I could literally hear the `click'
as everything came together. "Oh...oh, my god. This is...wonderful."
	"Really," Jordan asked.
	"Yes. I mean, to be perfectly honest, I never really though of you
two as a couple, but I am happy for you both. Have you two...consummated your
relationship?"
	Jordan giggled. "Like rabbits."
	The small amount of tension in the air was broken by all of us
breaking out in laughter. Carol turned the stereo back on and we listened
to music for a while.
	About an hour later, the phone rang. It was my mom. I drove back
over to my house by myself, and we talked for several hours about various
things. After we both felt everything was all out in the open and resolved,
I drove back over to Willow's. As I went in, everyone still listening to
music, Jordan stood, walked over to me and kissed me softly. "How'd it go,
baby?"
	"Better than I expected."
	He smiled. "Good."
	I smiled back and put my arms around Jordan's waist. "Want to go to
bed?"
	"You bet."
	I took Jordan's hand and began leading him upstairs. "'Night all."
	We went into his room and stripped naked. I pulled Jordan in close
and kissed him passionatelyÑexploring his mouth with my tongue. As we laid
down on the bed, I said, "It's kind of nice that everyone knows now. No
more sneaking around or having to worry about getting caught."
	"Yeah. It is."
	I was afraid that pointing out that everyone knew about us, our sex
would be less passionate, but I was very wrong. It was more passionate, a
fact that made me most content.
	We both fell asleep.

	Once more, I stand in the glenÑLady Danu beside me.
	"You did it. You prevented the tragedy."
	"How?"
	"Simplest explanation is the Butterfly Effect."
	"You mean I changed one small thing, and that prevented the
greatest tragedy of my life?"
	"Exactly."
	"Huh...the universe is so...queer."
	"That it is."
	"Will something like this ever happen again?"
	"You never know."
	"Will you warn me?"
	"I will try."
	I nodded.


X
Moving In

	I awoke the next morning without Jordan's soft body in my
arms. Soon I heard the muffled sound of the shower running and muffled
singing and figured that's where he must be. I decided to join him. I put
on my shorts and opened the door a crack. I peeked out and made sure that
neither Carol nor Willow was coming. I then walked across the hall and
entered Jordan's tiny bathroom. I could here Jordan singing "May It Be."
Now, Jordan may have been a wonderful lover and an avid dancer, but he was
entirely tone-deaf. He couldn't carry a tune to save his life. But, gods
bless him, he tried. I stood for a moment, listening.
	I then took off my shorts and pulled back the shower curtain,
startling Jordan slightly. "Hello, love."
	"Hi. Come on in."
	I took off my ring and stepped into the shower and stood under the
water flow, Jordan in my arms. As I stood there, I noticed how much Jordan
had changed over the last few months. He had grown several inches taller,
making him only about an inch shorter than me; a fact that I liked, because
it made it easier to kiss him when standing. Furthermore, he had started to
sprout hair under his arms and in his pubic area. I had, of course,
expected this and was wondering when it was going to happen. I only thought
about this for a few moments before my mind automatically drifted to the
fact that I was in the shower holding the boy I so dearly loved in my
arms. And I never wanted to let him go.
	"I love you so much, Jordan."
	"I love you too, Sammie."
	"...I want to live with you."
	He pulled away and looked at me. "What?"
	"Aye. I was thinking about it last night. We're madly in love with
each other. We're engaged. We should live under the same roof, too."
	Jordan smiled. "I would love that."
	"You would?"
	"Aye. Actually, the thought had occurred to me, too."
	I kissed Jordan passionately and pressed into him.
	He broke the kiss. "Sam, wait."
	"What's wrong, baby?"
	"Nothing. We just don't have time. Mom is taking us out to lunch."
	"Oh. Okay."
	We finished showering and went back to Jordan's room to get
dressed?slipping our rings back on as we left the bathroom.
	As we got dressed, I asked, "So, when are you going to tell your
mom?"
	Jordan finished dressing. "Probably before we leave."
	I nodded.
	I finished dressing and went down to the kitchen.
	Willow and carol were already there. We all exchanged pleasantries.
	Jordan turned to his mom. "Mom, can I talk to you for a minute."
	"Sure, hon."
	Carol and Jordan exited into the living room. I sat down at the
kitchen table.
	"What's going on," Willow asked.
	I smiled at her. "You'll see."
	After a few minutes, Jordan and Carol came back in. Without
warning, Carol pulled me into an embrace so tight, I couldn't breathe.
	"Carol," I rasped, "you're crushing my lungs."
	Carol released me. "Sorry, hon."
	Willow broke in, "Would someone please tell me what's going on."
	I turned to her. "I'm going to live here."
	"You're moving in?"
	"Aye."
	"Oh, my god. This is amazing. I can't believe you're going to be
living here."
	"Alright," Carol said, "let's go eat."
	We left for lunch. That night I went home and told my mom I was
moving in with Jordan.


XI Fire!

	I didn't actually need to bring that much to Jordan's house when I
moved in. All I really needed was my books, clothes, music and Jordan
wanted me to bring my stereo to keep in his room. I kept my books in a
closet downstairs used just for books. Jordan's closet and dresser were
large enough to accommodate his and my clothes. I kept my music in his
nightstand , and my stereo went on top of his dresser.
	Once everything was moved in, we laid in his bed, taking it all in.
	"Well," I said, "what do you think, love?"
	Jordan looked up at me. "I love it." He kissed me. "And I love
you."
	"I love you, too."
	I yawned, which was shortly followed by a yawn from Jordan.
	I said, "We should go to bed. We had a long day."
	Jordan nodded. He adjusted himself a little in my arms and we both
fell asleep.
	I was startled awake by a loud thump. However, before I had time to
assess anything, I felt a sharp pain on the back of my head and blacked
out.
	I awoke the next morning in a slight daze. I had a pounding
headache. I got out of bed and looked around the room. Something was wrong
but I couldn't figure out what it was, my head hurt too much. There was a
bat on the floor. The window was open. There were small drops of blood
leading from the bed to the open window. Then, like a brick wall, it hit
me. Jordan was missing. I started to panic. Then I took a breath and calmed
myself. I taught myself to do this a long time ago. I learned quickly that
panicking in an emergency gets nothing done. I first assessed the immediate
situation. Jordan and I were alone in the house. Willows Ferrari was in the
shop, so Carol was driving her to the place where lawyers take their Bar
Exams. Jordan was missing and there were signs of a struggle. I followed
the blood drops to the window and looked down. I couldn't see much form
outside, so I went downstairs and outside. I went to the spot under
Jordan's window. I saw indents in the grass from feet and the imprints of a
ladder. Someone had definitely broken in last night. Then I noticed the
indent of a body in the grass. Jordan had been dropped out the window. I
squatted down and looked more closely at the grass. I saw more blood
drops. I looked over at the pool. I knew that's where I should look first,
but I was afraid of what I would find. I carefully approached the pool. I
reached the edge and saw nothing but still waters. Thank goodness. I went
back to the blood trail. It was very tiny. Almost unnoticeable. I saw that
the drops pointed towards the small patch of trees behind Jordan's house. I
followed the blood trail, checking now and then to make sure it was still
there. When I reached the trees, the blood trail ended at a path in the
forest. I walked a few feet in and checked the path for signs. There were
more blood drops and signs that something large and heavy had been dragged
through the woods. I kept walking for what seemed like forever. Suddenly, I
broke into a clearing. Lying in the middle of it was Jordan's naked body,
crumpled into a dirty, bloody heap. Strewn all about the clearing were his
clothes. I quickly walked over to him. I made sure he was still
breathing. He was but barely. I carefully rolled him over as he groaned in
pain.
	Tears welled in my eyes. "Jordan, can you hear me."
	He lay still.
	"Jordan, please say something."
	Still nothing.
	I thumped my fist on the ground. "Goddamn it, Jordan, don't do this
to me!"
	Jordan groaned. He opened his mouth and tried to say something, but
it was so quiet I didn't hear. I put my ear close to his mouth and he
whispered, "...Conner..." Then he passed out.
	Conner. I should've known. Only he would do something like this to
my baby.
	I placed my hand on the side of Jordan's face. "I promise he will
pay for what he did to you."
	Now, I had to get Jordan to the hospital. I didn't have a mobile
and neither did Jordan. I didn't want to leave him to go in search for
help. Then I heard voices just beyond the undergrowth.
	I turned towards them. "Hello! Is someone there! Please! I need
help!"
	From out of the brush stepped Marcy and her friend Cho Lang. Marcy
was a girl who lived down the street from Jordan. Cho was her best friend.
	"Sam," Marcy said, "what's goÑ"
	She saw Jordan's body. "Oh, my god. What happened?"
	"Too much to explain. Do you have your mobile with you?"
	"Yes."
	She dug in her purse, pulled out her mobile and handed it to me. I
quickly dialed 911. As soon as I hung up, I turned to Cho. "Cho, would you
stand outside the trees and show them the way?"
	She nodded. She walked down the path out of the forest. Marcy and I
stood over Jordan, unable to take our eyes off him.
	"Sam, what happened," she asked.
	"I moved in with him. We were sleeping last night when I was
awakened by a loud thump. As soon as I sat up in bed, I felt a sharp pain
on the back of my head. I blacked out. When I woke up this morning, he was
gone. I followed a small trail of blood out here and found him like this."
	"Do you know who did it?"
	"Aye. It was Conner."
	She nodded.
	It seemed like forever before Cho and the paramedics stepped
through the underbrush. Marcy and I stepped aside. One of the paramedics
bent down and examined Jordan. A police officer asked me questions, writing
down what I said.
	"Hi. My name is Cheryl." She had short black hair under her police
cap. Brown eyes. A cute button nose. She looked too young to be an
officer. Only about 24, 25 years old.
	"Hi," I said.
	"What is your name?"
	"Sam Nightingale."
	"How do you know Jordan?"
	"I'm his fiancee."
	"Do you or Jordan have any enemies? Someone who might want to hurt
you?"
	If I told her it was Conner, they'd arrest him before I got to
him. I couldn't let that happen. "None that I can think of.
	"Okay. I know this might be hard, but I need you to tell me every
little tiny detail of what happened. No matter how insignificant it may
seem."
	I nodded.
	"Just start form the beginning."
	"Well, I had recently moved in with Jordan. We were sleeping in his
bed last night when I was awakened by a loud thump. As soon as I sat up, I
felt a sharp pain on the back of my head. I blacked outÑ"
	"Hang on."
	She turned to one of the paramedics. "Judy, could you come over
here."
	They were wheeling Jordan out of the clearing as Judy walked over
to me. Judy had a thick batch of freckles and frizzy red hair tied in a
braid.
	"Yes."
	"I think Sam, here, may have been hit in the head. Could you give
him a once over?"
	Judy began to gently examine my head. "How's his memory?"
	"Pretty fair I'd say."
	She touched a spot near the back of my head and I winced at the
pain. She parted the hair there and stayed still for a few moments.
	Then she stepped back. "There's quite a large bump there, but I
don't think he has a concussion." She walked away.
	"Okay," Cheryl said, "continue."
	"Where was I?"
	"You blacked out..."
	"Right. I blacked out. I woke up when it was morning. I knew that
Jordan's mom and sister were out of town. There were signs of a
struggle. Though they were very subtle signs. There was a bat on the floor
near my side of the bed. There was a small trail of blood drops leading
from Jordan's side to the window. I went over to the window and looked
out. I couldn't see anything from there, so I went downstairs and outside
to under Jordan's window. I saw the imprints of feet. There were imprints
of a ladder that had been propped up against the window and also an imprint
of a body. Jordan had been dropped out the window. I examined the grass and
found more blood drops. There was a pool in the backyard, so I walked over
to that first and looked in. I didn't find anything. I walked back over to
the window and examined the grass again. I saw that the blood trail lead
off into the forest. I followed it and found Jordan in this clearing. Then
I heard Marcy and Cho and called for help. They stepped through the
underbrush. I used Marcy's mobile to call 911."
	"Is that everything?"
	"I believe so. Yes."
	Cheryl wrote down one more thing. Then she looked up at me. "Thank
you. Do you need a ride to the hospital?"
	I nodded.
	"The ambulance has already left, but I can take you up there."
	"Thank you."
	I followed Cheryl out of the forest to her patrol car. She opened
the passenger door for me and I got in. She got in the drivers seat and
started the car. She started driving towards Midlands Hospital. The ride
was silent most of the way there.
	Cheryl finally broke the silence, "Sam, I'm really sorry this
happened."
	"Thank you."
	"Are you sure there is no one who holds a grudge against you?"
	"No one that I know of."
	"Think carefully, Sam."
	"There isn't anyone."
	"Okay. It's okay. Hopefully, we'll find DNA of whoever did this to
Jordan somewhere on his person."
	It was then I realized something important. I know that Conner had
raped Jordan. His semen would most likely still be inside Jordan's anal
cavity. Also some pubic hair may have been transferred from Conner to
Jordan. Furthermore, Conner had been arrested several times before. He was
definitely in the system. If I wanted vengeance for what he did to
Jordan. I had to hurry. I knew where Conner and his friends hung
out. Unfortunately, it was a ways away from the hospital. I wasn't sure how
I was going to get there. As we approached the hospital, I realized there
was only one thing I could do. Cheryl pulled up to the emergency room
entrance.
	I turned to her. "I know who did it."
	"Tell me."
	"Stephen Conner."
	Cheryl smiled. "I'm glad you told me, Sam. I've arrested many
people for vigilante justice."
	I got out of the car and turned to Cheryl. "If you can get an
arrest warrant, you can find him at Washington Park in Olde Town."
	"Well, if they find Conner's DNA on his person, then I can get an
arrest warrant."
	"I know he raped Jordan. They'll find it."
	Cheryl nodded. I closed the door, and she drove away. I walked into
the hospital and up to the front desk.
	The receptionist looked up from her paperwork and smiled. "Hi. May
I help you?"
	"I'm here to see Jordan Nightingale."
	She turned to the computer. "What's your name?"
	"Sam."
	She typed something into the computer. "One moment."
	She turned to the phone, picked up the receiver, put it to her ear
and dialed. After a few rings, someone answered. "Hello,
Dr. Schlesinger...Yes...I have a Sam here to see Jordan
Nightingale...Yes...Alright...Thank you."
	She hung up the receiver and looked up at me. "If you'll have a
seat, she'll be right out."
	"Okay."
	I sat down on one of the chairs and anxiously waited. After a
while, the doors opened. A middle aged, heavyset woman emerged. She was
wearing granny glasses, a red shirt and a lab coat. She walked over to
me. "Are you Sam?"
	I stood. "Aye."
	"I'm Dr. Schlesinger."
	"Is Jordan okay?"
	"Well, Sam, Jordan was raped."
	"I know."
	"How do you know?"
	"I know who did this to him. He's been arrested several times for
statutory rape among other things."
	"I also work for the local CSI, and I ran the semen we found in
Jordan's anal cavity through the database. We found traces of DNA that
wasn't in the system. Most likely yours. No surprises there. The majority
of it was Stephen Michael Conner."
	"That's what I thought. Have you told the police?"
	"Yes. They put out an APB ."
	"I know where he's most likely to be."
	"Where?" She pulled a two-way radio out of her lab-coat.
	"Washington park in Olde Town."
	She pushed the connect button. "This is Dr. Laura Schlesinger
CSI. I have a report that Stephen Michael Conner is at Washington Park in
Olde Town."
	"Roger that doctor. Thank you."
	I heard a click then, "This is to any available units in the Olde
Town area. I have an arrest warrant for Stephen Michael Conner. I need
immediate dispatch to Washington Park. RepeatÑ"
	Dr. Schlesinger clicked off her radio and put it back in her
coat. "Now, Jordan also has a bruised pelvis. Thankfully, that is the
extent of his injuries."
	"What about STD's?"
	"Nope."
	"Can I see him now?"
	"Of course. Follow me."
	She turned and walked into the ER. "He was sleeping last time I was
in there. But he may be awake now."
	We reached Jordan's room.
	Dr. Schlesinger turned to me. "Do you need anything else?"
	"No."
	Dr. Schlesinger walked away.
	I turned to the door and opened it. Jordan was sitting up in bed
watching TV. He turned to the door as it opened. "Sam!"
	I ran over to him, kissed him and hugged him tightly. "I'm so
sorry, baby. Are you okay?"
	"Now that you're here."
	I let go of him and sat down on the edge of the bed. "They're
looking for Conner."
	"Good."
	"Do you want to talk about it? Or is it too soon?"
	"I think I can talk about it."
	"I just want to know what happened."
	"Well, I woke up and someone had their hand over my mouth. There
was also a knife on my throat. I did what they told me to and got out of
bed. I walked over to the window and someone pushed me out the window. I
fell to the ground and felt a sharp pain in my side. Probably when I
bruised my pelvis. Then they forced me into the woods where Conner was
waiting. He told me to strip. I didn't move. He pulled out a knife and
said, `Strip or I'll cut you.' So I took off my clothes. He told me to lie
down on my stomach. And..." tears welled in Jordan's eyes. "He raped me."
	"Did it hurt?"
	"Not physically. But it did emotionally."
	"Aye. Being raped is a very traumatic."
	"That's not what hurt me."
	"What was it?"
	Jordan placed his hand on top of mine. "I am yours, Sam. And only
yours. By doing what he did to me, Conner stole that from you."
	I moved closer to him and looked deep into his eyes. "What we have,
no one can take from us. The bonds between us cannot be broken. The rivers
of love that flow through us run too deep and too strong for anyone to take
from them. We are one, and we will forever be one. Conner has taken nothing
from us. All he has done is commit a horrific crime. And he will be
punished for it."
	He kissed me.
	"That was lovely."
	Jordan and I turned to the doorway.
	"Cheryl," I said. "What are you doing here?"
	She walked into the room. "I'm off duty. I wanted to come by and
see how things were going."
	"Wow," I said, "that's very kind of you."
	"I also wanted to tell you that they arrested Conner. They want you
both to testify."
	"I will," I said.
	"I will, too," Jordan said. "I want to see that sniveling snake
sent to prison."
	"Well," Cheryl said, "that may not happen. Unless you two have a
good lawyer."
	Jordan and I both looked at each other. I think we got the same
idea.
	I asked, "Has she passed the National Bar Exam?"
	"She hasn't taken it yet. She will next week."
	"You have a good lawyer," Cheryl asked.
	"The best," I said. "According to her professors. She graduated two
years earlier than everyone else."
	Cheryl's mouth hit the floor. "Two years. She must be good. Who is
she?"
	"My sister," Jordan said. "She's already taken the Bar Exam. She
takes the National next week."
	Cheryl looked as though she was speechless. "Wow. Is she planning
on taking the newly instated International Bar Exam?"
	"Probably," Jordan said.
	"Well, with how backed up the system is, she'll have time to take
and pass the exam before Conner's court date. I have to go, now. Bye."
	Cheryl walked out of the room.
	The next day, Jordan was released from the hospital. Willow came
back home after she passed the National Bar Exam. She agreed to represent
Jordan in court. Conner's court date was set for March 23rd.


XII
Justice

	Carol, Jordan, Willow and I stood outside the court room. Jordan,
Willow and I were all dressed in pant-suits; Carol was dressed in a
business dress. None of us wanted to go inside the courthouse.
	"We can do this," Willow said.
	At that, we all went inside and into the courtroom. Conner was
already there with his lawyerÑa tall, skinny white guy. He turned to us as
we took our seats. "Hello, Sam. How are you?"
	I sat silent, seething.
	"No answer? How about you, Jordan."
	I stood and quickly crossed the room. I came face to face with
Conner. "You are lucky the police got to you before I did. You don't want
to know what I was planning on doing to you."
	I felt Willow place her hand on my shoulder. "Come on, Sam."
	I walked back over to our table and sat down.
	"Sam," Willow said, "you have to be careful. Anything you do can
and will be used against you."
	"I know. I'm sorry. It just makes me so mad."
	"I know. It makes me mad, too. But we have to keep our selves calm,
okay?"
	"Aye. Okay."
	The bailiff, a large black man, spoke over the room, "All rise. The
honorable Judge Constance Palex presiding."
	The judge entered the room and sat down on the bench. "Please be
seated. Court is now in session."
	The judge looked over the case file. "The case of the state versus
Stephen Michael Conner."
	Over the next few hours, several witnesses were called to the
stand, including Jordan and I, reiterating the events of that night. There
were also Conner's past victims and some of his family and friends. And
also Marcy and Cho. A lot of objections were thrown as Conner's lawyer,
most were sustained. Willow, however, was able to sidestep these
objections.
	Willow was standing in the middle of the room. "I call my final
witness, Conner's sister, Cheryl Rochelle Conner."
	At the back of the room, a woman whom I recognized stood up. The
officer who drove me to the hospital. Willow swore her in. Cheryl took her
place on the stand.
	"Ms. Conner," Willow began, "would you please sate for the record
your full name?"
	"Cheryl Rochelle Conner."
	"Would you please tell the court what happened on the afternoon of
January 4th of this year?"
	"I got a call telling me to go to the Nightingale residence. A
young Asian girl by the name of Cho Lang lead me and the paramedics into
the forest where we found Jordan's ravaged body. The paramedics brought him
to the hospital. I drove his Fiancee Sam to the hospital. He told me
that the crime was committed by Stephen Michael Conner. I was off duty
before they arrested. Though I took it upon myself to tell Sam and Jordan
that he was arrested."
	"You mean you went up to the hospital, off duty, to report that
Conner had been arrested?"
	"Yes."
	"Why?"
	"I felt guilty."
	"Why?"
	"Because Conner is my brother."
	Willow turned to the judge. "Your Honor, if you will indulge me, I
would like to ask Cheryl a personal question that seems irrelevant at the
moment, but I can assure you it is."
	"I'll allow it."
	Willow turned back to Cheryl. "Cheryl, hypothetically, if you
arrested Conner, would you follow the law to its full extent?"
	"Yes."
	"Even though Conner is your brother?"
	"Yes."
	"Do you love your brother, Cheryl?"
	"Yes."
	"Then why not help him escape the confines of the law?"
	"Because I am an officer of the law. And I love him. I know that if
he cannot find help outside of prison, then the best place would be inside
of one."
	"So, even though you would never be on this jury, would you vote
guilty for this case?"
	Cheryl hesitated for a moment. "Yes."
	Willow smiled. "Thank you, Cheryl. Unless the defense has any
questions, you may step down."
	Cheryl regained her seat. As I watched her walk back, I caught a
glimpse of Conner's lawyer. He was perspiring. He was nervous. He damn well
should be nervous. Willow was shredding him to pieces. I smirked.
	"Does the defense have any more witnesses to call," the judge
asked.
	Conner's lawyer stood. "No Your Honor."
	"Would the jury please go to the jury room and make their final
decision."
	The jury filed out of the room for an intense half hour. They filed
back into the room.
	The judge turned to them. "Has the jury reached a decision?"
	"We have your honor."
	The jury passed the small piece of paper to the bailiff who passed
it to the judge.
	The judge read the decision. "Would the jury please read the
decision for the record?"
	"We the jury find Stephen Michael Conner guilty of statutory rape."
	The courtroom was silent.
	The judge made her ruling. "Stephen, since this crime is an
addition to the many more that you have committed, it is my decisions that
you will spend the rest of your life in prison or until you are deemed a
fit member of your society. Court is adjourned."
	I hugged Jordan. "We did it, baby. Now, we can rest easy, knowing
that Conner is behind bars for life."
	Jordan kissed me and we went home.


XIII
The First and Only Fight

	When Jordan and I got home, we went up to his bedroom. I kissed him
passionately and pressed into him. As soon as my body came into contact
with his, however, he pulled away. "Sam, wait."
	"What's wrong?"
	"Well, it's just with all the stress this day has put on me, I'm
just tired. I think I need to rest."
	"Okay. I'm going to go downstairs."
	Jordan lay down in the bed. "Okay, love."
	I left Jordan's room and closed the door.
	This wasn't the first time this had happen. It seemed to happen
more and more frequently lately. I think what happened to Jordan,
traumatized him more than he let on. Although, even he may not know how
much it affected him. This was something that neither I nor his family
could help him with. I had to talk to Willow and Carol about this to decide
the best course of action. I walked down the hall to Willow's room and
knocked. Jason answered the door.
	"Hi, Jason," I said.
	"Hey, Sam. What's up?"
	"Well, I kind of need to talk to Willow."
	"Oh, sure. Hang on."
	He turned as he closed the door. Jason was Willow's current
boyfriend. However, I had a feeling that they were going to get
married. She met him at the facility where the Bar Exam is given. Yes, he,
too, is a lawyer. And an American.
	After a few minutes, Willow opened the door. "Sam, what's wrong?"
	"Well, I need to talk to you and Carol in private."
	"Okay."
	Willow stepped out in her pink silk bathrobe. She followed me
downstairs. Carol was already in the living room watching TV.
	"Carol," I said, "I need to talk to you and Willow."
	Carol turned off the TV. "What's wrong, hon?"
	I pointed to the kitchen door. "Let's go into the kitchen."
	The three of us went into the kitchen and sat down.
	I cleared my throat. "I am worried about Jordan. I think that what
happened to him traumatized him more than he lets on. He may not even
realize it himself."
	"What led you to believe this," Willow asked.
	"Well," I continued, "every time I try to...start something with him,
he makes some excuse to avoid it. I didn't notice it at first, because it
was rare and it had happened a few times before the incident. He just
didn't feel like it, and I sometimes didn't feel like it either. But
lately, it's been happening more and more frequently."
	"How frequently would you say it's been happening," Carol asked.
	"Well," I answered, "to be perfectly honest, we haven't had sex in
three weeks. Almost a month."
	"Huh," Willow said. "That is odd."
	"Maybe," Carol said, "you're just loosing the passion that was once
there. It happens."
	"That can't be it," Willow said.
	"How do you know," Carol asked.
	"Well," Willow answered, "I sleep across the hall from them, and
when they make love, the walls come tumbling down."
	I smiled. "Aye. That's true. To be quite honest, I think he needs
to see a therapist."
	"Hey guys. What's going on?"
	We turned to the kitchen door and saw Jordan standing there.
	"Hi, honey," I said.
	"Hi." Jordan stepped into the kitchen. "What are you all talking
about?"
	I answered, "Well...love...we were...talking...about...well you."
	"What about me?"
	I pointed to one of the chairs. "Have a seat."
	Jordan sat down next to me.
	"You see," I continued, "ever since the Conner incident, you have
been acting differently."
	He pulled back from me. "No, I haven't."
	"I didn't think you were aware of it."
	Tears brimmed in my eyes. "We're not as close as we used to be. You
won't even let me hold your hand. You were right about Conner, he stole
something from us. I want it back. I want that spark between us to be lit
again. This is why I hope you'll listen when I say that we all think you
should go see a therapist."
	Jordan upstarted. "What! How dare you say such a thing! I can't
believe you would say that, Sam!"
	He stormed out as he said. "I'm going to my room! No one talk to
me!" He turned to me and said through gritted teeth, "Especially you, Sam!"
	Carol, Willow and I all stared at the doorway in shock and awe.
	"I don't believe it," I said. "That's the first time he's ever
talked to me like that."
	"Sam," Willow said, "I think this may be more serious than we first
thought."
	"Yeah," I said. "I think I'll go and try talking to him."
	I left the kitchen and went upstairs. I quietly opened Jordan's
door. Jordan was lying on his bed, facing away from me.
	"Jordan," I said.
	"Go away."
	I stepped into Jordan's room and closed the door. I sat down on the
bed and placed my hand on Jordan's shoulder. I felt him tense slightly
under my touch.
	"Jordan," I said, "I love you."
	Jordan sat up. "Hold me."
	I took Jordan into my arms. He placed his head on my shoulder and
wept. I held him in this poignant embrace for an eternity. He had stopped
crying for a while, but he never pulled away. He just sat quietly.
	Eventually, a whisper escaped his lips. "I'm sorry, Sam."
	I kissed the top of his head. "It's okay, baby. We'll get through
this."
	He pulled away and looked at me. "I love you so much."
	"I love you, too."



XIV The First Session

	A few days later, Jordan had his first therapy session with a woman
named Dr. Joni Brunsen. Her office has the standard psychiatrist
office. Diplomas hang on the walls. The black leather couch is comfy. She
is wearing a grey skirt and reading glasses. A yellow legal pad sits on her
lap, a freshly sharpened yellow #2 pencil poised above it.
	Jordan stammered for a couple seconds before Dr. Brunsen stopped
him. "I know that sometimes these sessions can be hard. Just take your time
and start from the beginning."
	Jordan then began to tell the story of what Conner had done to
him. Jordan finished his story and sat silent.
	"And this has affected your love life?"
	Jordan nods.
	"Well, I can assure you that these feelings are quite normal after
such a traumatic event. Sam," she looks over at me, "it may take time for
Jordan to get close to you again. Just remember that he loves you very
much. Now, let's discuss some things we can do to help you both."
	"Okay," I say.
	"Start small. Maybe just holding hands for a while. After that, try
soft kisses. Nothing too passionate, but just pecks on the lips or
cheek. Then try more passionate kissing. Then maybe some intimate touching
with clothes on. Next try removing articles of clothing and sitting
together that way for a while. As you proceed to complete nudity, keep
kissing and touching each other in a loving way. Eventually, you'll get to
make love again."
	Jordan and I left her office and went home. The ride home was
quiet. Neither of us wanted to say anything. As I pulled onto the freeway,
I felt Jordan take my hand. We exchanged smiles and continued home.



XV Miracles

	"We're home," I called as we walked in the door.
	"In here," I heard willow call from the kitchen. Jordan and I
walked into the kitchen. Both Carol and Willow were sitting at the kitchen
table. Both were smiling broadly.
	"What's going on," I asked.
	"Well," Willow said, "I, uh...I have some news."
	"What is it," I asked."
	"Well...I'm pregnant."
	"You're pregnant," Jordan and I said simultaneously.
	"Yes. Jason and I are going to have a baby."
	"Are you sure," Jordan asked.
	"Well, it's what my gynecologist said."
	Jordan and I sat down.
	"This is so...wow," I said. "There are no words."
	"I'm so happy for you, Willow," Jordan said.
	"Yeah," I said. "Me, too. Have you told Jason yet?"
	Willow shook her head. "No. He's still at work. I'm going to tell
him tonight."
	"Okay," I said.
	"Hey," Willow said, "how was your session."
	"Well," I answered, "she basically said to take it slow. As long as
we work at it, we'll get there."
	Jordan and I spent the day at home. Night fell, and we went to bed
without making love. The next day, we all celebrated Willow's announcement
by going out to eat.
	Over the next nine months, Willow slowly began to develop a baby
bump that fully grew into a pregnant tummy. Jordan's birthday passed, he
turned 14. My birthday had passed in December.
	On September 8, Jordan and I were lying in bed, we'd still yet to
make love, when I awoke to a knock at the door. I opened the door. Standing
there was Jason.
	"Hey, Jason. What's going on?"
	I knew what he was talking about. "Okay. I'll wake Jordan."
	Jason nodded and turned to go and wake up Carol.
	I walked over to the bed and gently shook Jordan. "Jordan, wake
up."
	He moaned sleepily.
      "Wake up." I shook him again.
	Jordan rolled over and yawned. "Sam? What is it?"
	"Willow's in labor."
	Jordan sat up. "What?"
	"Willow's having her baby. We have to go."
	"Okay.
	Jordan stood. We got our shoes on and went downstairs. We met the
others at the door. Without a word, we all piled in Carol's minivan.
	We reached the hospital and took Willow inside. She was checked
into a room. Jordan and I waited in the waiting room. I stood by the big
bay window looking out into the night. Jordan sat in the chairs facing away
from the window. It was a quarter after 21:00hrs.
	Jordan turned towards me. "I can't believe Willow's having her
baby."
	I turned to him. "Me, either."
	"I hope she's not in labor to long."
	I nodded.
	As if the fates heard, Carol came out into the waiting room. "The
baby's crowning. Willow wants you guys in there."
	We followed Carol to Willow's delivery room. As we stepped in,
Willow was sitting up, straining to push the baby out. Her gynecologist,
Dr. Phalange, was sitting at the end of the bed, ready to "catch" the baby
as it came out.
	"Okay, Willow," Dr. Phalange said, "push."
	Willow pushed again. Dr. Phalange counted to 10. Willow stopped
pushing.
	"Okay, Willow, one more push. You can do it."
	Willow pushed one more time. All of a sudden, a small cry entered
the room as a hush fell over the rest of it. Dr. Phalange held up a tiny
little pink creature and said, "It's a boy."
	"Oh," Willow exclaimed. "He's beautiful."
	Dr. Phalange handed the baby to a nurse and said, "They're just
going to clean him up. Then you can see him."
	The nurse wiped off the baby, wrapped him up and handed him to
Willow.
	"Oh, my god," she said. "I never thought I could love anything so
much. I promise that I will always be there to protect you from the world."
	"So," Dr. Phalange said, "so we have a name."
	Willow turned to me. "Actually, I was wondering if I could name him
Sam."
	"You want to name him after me," I asked.
	Willow nodded. "If it's all right with you."
	"I would be honored."
	Willow smiled.
	I felt Jordan place his hand on my shoulder.
	I turned to him. "Yes?"
	"Can I talk to you for a minute? In private."
	"Sure." I was a little concerned.
	I followed Jordan out of the maternity ward to the ward for the
permanent patients. As we walked down the hallway, Jordan kept peeking in
rooms. Eventually he found one and we went inside. The room was empty.
	I turned to Jordan. "Jordan, what's go? "
	Before I could finish my sentence, Jordan's lips locked onto
mine. I felt his tongue dart into my mouth as he pressed his body into
me. I pushed him away.
	"What're you doing," I asked.
	"I'm sorry, Sam. But I'm ready, now."
	"What do you mean you're ready?"
	"I think I've gotten over what Conner did to me. I know I have. I
want to make love again."
	I took Jordan's hand. "Jordan, you don't know how happy this makes
me. However, I don't feel right about having sex in a hospital. And
besides, don't you want to celebrate this in our own bed?"
	Jordan smiled. "Yeah. You're right. We should wait."
	Jordan and I walked back to the delivery room.
	"Hey," Carol said. "You guys ready to go home?"
	"Yes," Jordan and I said simultaneously.
	"Well, okay."
	Carol turned to Willow. "Willow, dear, we're going to go home. I'll
come pick you and Jason up tomorrow."
	Willow nodded. "Okay."
	The three of us went out to Carol's van. She took us home.
	"Well," Carol said as we walked in the door, "I'm going to bed."
	Jordan and I said goodnight to her as she went to her room. We then
went up to our room. Before I knew what was happening, we were on Jordan's
bed making love. It was wonderful. I hadn't felt Jordan's soft body against
me in so long. That night, I fell asleep with Jordan in my arms.



XVI Reborn

	The next morning, I awoke to the feeling of Jordan's lips against
mine. I returned his kiss.
	"Morning, love," he said as he gazed lovingly at me.
	"Morning."
	"Sam, last night was amazing."
	I nodded. "It really was. So, you're definitely over it?"
	"Well, not completely, but I don't think I'll ever move completely
past it. However, I know that I am definitely over it enough to make love
to you again."
	I smiled. "Good."
	I kissed him again.
	Jordan and I dressed and went downstairs into the kitchen. As we
went in, we saw Carol, Jason, Willow and Sam Jr. at the table.
	"Morning, all," I said as Jordan and I sat down.
	"You two had sex," Willow said.
	"Is it that obvious," I asked.
	"Please," Willow said, "you could see it from space."
	I nodded. "Okay. So, how's little Sam doing?"
	"Well," Willow said, "so far so good."
	I stood and walked over to her. "Can I hold him?"
	"Sure."
	Willow handed him to me and o hefted his light body in my arms.
	"Wow," I said. "He's so tiny."
	After a few minutes, I hand Sam back to Willow.
	I turned to Jordan. "We should get going to our session."
	Jordan nods.
	We make our way to the front door, and I grab Willow's keys out of
the bowl. We went out to the car and drove to Dr. Brunsen's office.
	"So," Dr. Brunsen said as we sat down on her sofa, "how are things
going?"
	"Well," I answer, "we had sex last night."
	"You did? That's great. You two are making real progress. Are there
any other issues you two need to work out?"
	"No," I answer.
	"Well then, there is not much else you need my help with. Just if
you regress, please come and see me."
	"So, we're don," Jordan asks.
	"Yep."
	We stand. I hold out my hand. "Thank you, Doctor."
	Dr. Brunsen shakes my hand. "You are welcome. And since you were
only here for a few minutes, this sessions on me."
	"Thanks," I say.
	We leave her office.
	"So," Jordan asks as we walk out to the car, "what do you want to
do today?"
	"Movie?"
	"Sure."
	"Lunch first?"
	"Okay."
	"Chinese?"
	"Alright."
	We got in the car and drove out to Jade Palace. I ordered hot
braised chicken with no rice, I'm allergic, and Jordan ordered orange
chicken. We sat down and talked about random things. Eventually, we touched
on the subject of Willow's baby.
	"You know," I said, "Willow doesn't seem like the kind of girl
who'd want a baby."
	"She didn't. However, I think after carrying it for nine months,
she decided she wanted to keep it."
	"That makes sense."
	We finished eating and drove out to the theatre.
	"So what do you want to see," I asked.
	"Something scary."
	"How about (pending)."
	"Okay."
	Jordan bought us tickets and we went to the specific theatre. I
felt Jordan squeeze my hand during the scary parts. I can't remember, but
I'm sure I did the same to him. The movie ended and we went home.
	As we walked in the door, we saw Carol sitting on the couch
nervously pleating the edge of her dress.
	"Mom," Jordan said, "what's wrong?"
	Carol hesitated before answering, "Conner stopped by today."
	"Stephen came here," I exclaimed. "He's out!?"
	Carol nodded. "Apparently so."
	"What did he want?"
	"He wanted to talk to the two of you."
	"Well," I said, "that's too bad. There's no way I'm putting my baby
in danger by brining him around Conner ever again."
	"I want to see him. " Jordan said it so quietly, I wasn't sure I
heard him.
	"What?"
	"I want to see him."
	"What!? Why!?"
	He looked up at me. "There are some things that need to be said."
	I sighed. "Okay, but I'm going with you."
	"I want you to come with me."
	"Good."
	Carol then said, "He said he'd wait at the park until 21:00
hrs. It's 20:30 now. You'd better hurry."
	I nodded, and Jordan and I left without saying a word. We silently
drove to the park. As I pulled into a space, I could see Conner sitting on
one of the benches. Jordan and I got out of the car. Conner stood as we
approached him. We walked up to him.
	"I-I'm glad you both came. I know that you are probably both mad at
me, however I hope that you'll hear me out."
	We stood in silence.
	Conner continued. "While I was in prison, I learned a lot. I know
how horrible what I did must have been for you. Especially you Jordan. I
know that I can never make up for what I did. The best I can do is tell you
that I am truly sorry that I did that to you. I feel very guilty about it."
	I spoke up. "You should feel guilty! Do you know how much anguish
you've caused both Jordan and myself! Jordan was traumatized by what you
did! I couldn't even touch him without him freaking out! I couldn't kiss
him! I couldn't hold him! I made love to him last night for the first time
in almost a year! I can't believe you expect us to forgive you! There is no
fucking way? "
	I felt a gentle hand fall onto my shoulder. I turned to look into
Jordan's deep green eyes.
	"Sam," he said, "I think you might be overreacting."
	"What do you mean?"
	"Do the gods not teach us to forgive those who trespass against
us."
	"Aye. They do. But that doesn't?"
	"Love, Conner may have done something wrong, but he knows what he's
done is not right. Even though it was horrible what he did, I am prepared
to forgive him."
	"You're going to forgive him?"
	"Aye. What is past is past. All that matters now is the
future. Don't you think?"
	I took a moment to process what Jordan had just said. I sighed. "I
suppose you are right. We should move past this."
	"So," Conner said, "I am forgiven?"
	"Aye," Jordan and I said simultaneously.
	"Thank God. I am so glad. If you two are ever looking for me, I
moved back in with my parents."
	Conner turned and walked away.
	"Well," Jordan said, "what do you say we go home, open a bottle of
champagne and take a bath?"
	"Mmmm. That sounds nice."
	We walked back to the car and went home.



XVII I Will Always Love You

	As Jordan and I walked in the door, the house was dark and
quiet. Everyone was in bed.
	I whispered to Jordan, "You go get the bath ready. I'll go get the
champagne."
	"Okay."
	Jordan went upstairs and I went into the kitchen. A few seconds
later, I heard the running water as the tub filled. I opened the fridge and
pulled out a clear glass bottle of bubbling ruby liquid. I went to the
cabinet to the top left of the sink and took out two champagne flutes. I
gave Jordan a few minutes to get everything ready. As I heard the water
shut off, I made my way to the stairs and went up.
      I walked to bathroom door and quietly shouted, "Jordan, my hands are
full, will you open the door?"
	"Hang on just a minute."
	A few seconds later, Jordan opened the door. Jordan had completely
changed the atmosphere of the bathroom. The lights were turned off. Candles
rested on the sink. A radio sat in the linen closet, playing Enya. The
bubbling bath smelled of jasmine and chamomile. Jordan was sitting naked on
the lip of the tub.
	"Wow," I said, "you can certainly do a lot in a few minutes."
	"Thanks."
	I set the champagne and glasses down on the toilet took off my
ring, maneuvered around Jordan and slid into the warm, soapy water. I
dipped down below the water, wetting the rest of me. I came back up and
leaned back against the wall. Jordan got in after me, sitting between my
legs. He dipped down below the water and came back up, his soft hair matted
to his head and face. I popped open the champagne bottle and poured us each
a glass. I handed Jordan his glass. We each took a sip. I sat in silence
for a while, enjoying the feeling of my lover's body against me.
	"Jordan...," I said.
	"Aye?"
	"You know that I love you very much, right?"
	"Aye..."
	"And you know that I will always love you, right?"
	Jordan sat up and turned to look at me. "Of course I know
that. What brought this on?"
	"I am not quite sure. I just had to be sure you knew just how much
I love you. You mean more to me than life itself. I would do anything for
you. I can't imagine my life without you."
	Jordan smiled warmly, settled back in, and I wrapped my arms around
him.
	"I feel the same way, Sammie."
	There was another few moments of silence before Jordan said, "Let's
make love."
	"Okay."
	And we did. I moved father down in the tub. Jordan sat on top of me
and slipped me inside of him. Making love with Jordan was as amazing now as
it was the first time. After we made love, I held Jordan tenderly in my
arms.
	"I can't believe how much I love you," I said.
	"Me neither," Jordan said.
	I yawned. "We should get to bed soon."
	Jordan nodded. We finished bathing and got out. I helped Jordan
clean up the bathroom. We picked up our clothes, snuck across the hall and
climbed into bed. I fell asleep with Jordan's soft body in my arms.



XVIII The Final Truth

	The next morning, Jordan awoke me with a soft kiss.
	"Morning, love," he said.
	"Morning. Sleep well?"
	"I did."
	"Good."
	"Now I have something I want to ask, and we are not going anywhere
until I get answers."
	"Okay," I said nervously.
	"Do you remember those questions you asked me last night about your
love for me?"
	"Aye."
	"Why did you ask me those questions?"
	"I told you. I?"
	"No. That's not the reason. At least not the only one. Now, come
one, Sam. Tell me what's on your mind. You should be able to tell me
anything."
	"Alright. There is something that I've always wanted to tell you,
but I was always too afraid."
	"Afraid of what?"
	"That you'd be mad at me. Maybe not feel the same about me."
	Jordan looked hurt. "Sam. I can't believe you'd ever think that. I
will always love you. No matter what. Whatever it is you did, even it is
something bad, it won't change how I feel about you. Now, what is it?"
	"Well, you know that you were my first, right?"
	"Aye."
	"Well, technically, that's not true."
	Jordan was taken aback slightly. "What do you mean?"
	"I had sex with one other person before you."
	"What? Why did you not tell me? Who was it?"
	I hesitated for a moment. "Willow."
	"My sister." Jordan sat up. "Why?"
	I sat next to him. "It was before I met you. It was a time when I
was really confused. I wasn't sure who I was. I had to be sure. She offered
to...test me. It was terrible. Then when I made love to you that first time,
the world opened before my eyes. I fell deeply in love with you that same
day. I knew we were meant to be together. I love you, Jordan. And no one
else."
	He sat silent.
	"Jordan?"
	No response.
	I placed my hand on his thigh and began to slide it upward.
	He pushed my hand away. "Don't."
	"What's wrong?"
	He looked at me, sorrow dimming his beautiful eyes. "How could you
not tell me this? You should have told me right away."
	"What about Willow? She didn't tell you."
	"It doesn't matter if she didn't tell me as much as you not telling
me. This is a big deal. I always thought I was your first?"
	"But you were my first. Jordan, Willow is a wonderful woman, but
she doesn't count as my first. You do. She was a meaningless fling. You
were my true first."
	I take him into my arms. "That's why I asked you that question. I
had to be sure that you know that I love you no matter what. Just because
you were not my actual first, doesn't mean you weren't my first. I love
you. And you know that."
	Jordan pulled away and looked at me, a warm smile on his
face. "Aye. I know that. This is just such a shock."
	"I knew it would be. But it doesn't matter. I love you."
	"I love you, too. Now, let's have sex."
	And we did.
	At 11:00hrs we went downstairs. Everyone was in the kitchen. Jordan
sat down at the table, and I walked over to Willow.
	I leaned down and whispered, "Does Jason know about us?"
	"Aye. Why?"
	I walked over to a seat and sat next to Jorda. "I told Jordan about
us this morning."
	"Really," Willow said. "I was wondering when you were going to tell
him the truth."
	"Well," Jordan said, "last night he asked me a strange question. He
asked if I knew he loved me, and he would always love me. I asked him why
he asked such a strange question. He said he didn't know. This morning I
again asked him why he asked me those questions. He told me that he had sex
with you before me."
	"How'd that make you feel," Jason asked as he say down with a cup
of coffee.
	"A little shocked, but it's okay. I still love him."
	He kissed me softly. I got up and poured myself a cup of coffee. I
sat down and poured Irish creme in my coffee. We all sat around the
table talking about nothing specific.



XIX
Wedding Day

      Over the next two years, I watched as little Sam turned two. My
relationship with Jordan grew. Then the day finally came when we were
finally able to marry. For our third anniversary, Carol surprised us with
tickets to Killarney, Ireland. Jordan hired a wedding planner to help us
plan our wedding. A year later, on our fourth anniversary (I was 20 and
Jordan was 17), we all flew to Killarney where Jordan and I were married
under a pentacle-shaped arch made of lilies. Jordan and I stayed in
Killarney for our honeymoon, enjoying the Celtic regions, the snowcapped
mountains and the shimmering blue lakes. It was then we decided to move
back to our homeland.



Epilogue

	The entire Nightingale family, including my mom, all now live in
the mountains of Killarney. Jordan and I live in a two story and house and
are raising a beautiful baby boy named Jack. I started the Coven of Danu
and am now a High Priest. I could not be happier than I am right now. I
thank the gods every day for the wonderful gifts they have bestowed upon
me. My life is perfect.