Then and Now
Christopher
Macintosh
This story is
the
fictional blog of a contemporary American teenage boy and the fictional
journal
of a teenager from the nineteen-seventies. This is not real and the
characters,
with the exception of any historical or public figures mentioned, are
not real
and any similarity to real individuals is purely coincidental. This
story is a
gay romance and mystery and though sex will be mentioned, there will be
no
explicit or gratuitous descriptions of sexual activity. This is not a
pornographic story. However, if you still feel you will be offended by
the
content, please read no further. I am not a lawyer and I do not play
one on TV,
(nor have I ever stayed at a Holiday Inn Select- apologies to
non-Americans,
LOL), but I seriously doubt that reading this story will violate any
American
laws. I cannot comment on anything legal outside the
You
may assume that any spelling, grammatical, or factual errors are
deliberate, as
these are supposed to be the works of two adolescent males. Yeah,
that's it.
That's the ticket. They're deliberate! Yeah. And, Heather Locklear told
me so. Yeah!
Chapter Ten
Toby's
Excellent Blog- Monday,
August 1, 2005
Listening
to- Rachmaninoff
Mood-
Nervous
So
much has happened. I don’t know where to begin. I
guess with Saturday night.
Letitia, who baby-sits on Saturday nights when Mom and
The Bastard are working at the restaurant, (he’s no longer Fuehrer.
Now, he’s
The Bastard), told me the truth. David was with me when I came home
from his
place.
She went to school with Dad in junior high. The Bastard
is her older brother. She always liked Dad and thought he was sweet, a
little
nerdy, (I can see why), but sweet, (I can see that, too). She never saw
him
again until he was working at the restaurant where he met Mom and The
Bastard.
This is what happened.
Dad and Mom were waiting tables at the same restaurant in
1989 when Dad broke up with his boyfriend. They’d been together for
four years.
Dad was real depressed and Mom and a bunch of the other waiters and
waitresses
used to go out after work to dance at one of the gay clubs in town. One
night,
Mom and Dad were talking and Dad said that his biggest regret about
being gay
was that he couldn’t be a father. Mom said, “Why not? Find a good
lesbian who
wants to have kids.” She was saying it jokingly, but they talked about
it more
and a few weeks later, Mom told him that she wanted a baby, but still
wanted
her freedom. So, they decided to move in together and have a baby.
Well, I was born and Dad was like the perfect father. So
much so, that Mom started getting jealous, even though they weren’t
technically
together. Then, she and The Bastard started getting serious and Mom
told Dad to
move out. He was devastated, but did. Then Bastard married Mom and
wanted me to
be like his son. Well, I never liked him and he thought it was because
of the
influence of Dad. This is where it gets ugly and where I decided I hate
them
both.
Bastard told Dad that he should leave and stay out of my
life permanently because he was a bad influence and might turn me gay.
He said
that if Dad didn’t, he’d have DHS investigate him to see if he was
abusing me!!
Dad!!
He never touched me that way. NEVER! But, Bastard
threatened him and told him that he had to get out of my life or he
would send
the authorities after him. Letitia says that Dad didn’t want me to go
through
the trauma of being investigated and everything, so he left.
Well, yesterday, after Mom and Bastard got back from
church, (they still go to Faithbuilders and Brother Willie still
insists the
Devil has a vendetta against them), I
confronted Mom. She started crying and then begged me to forgive her. I
told
her I hated her for what she did. I swore to her that Dad never did
anything to
me. She said she knew he hadn’t but was afraid he was a bad influence
on me. I
told her the bad influence was Bastard! She nodded, but said she
couldn’t leave
him because he was a good father and husband. I said, “Not to me! Don’t
you
care about me?”
She didn’t say anything.
I left and went to David’s. I spent last night there and
nobody came to check on me. I figure they don’t care now.
Anyway, David and I have figured out what to do. I sent
an PM to JCTinVT asking him if he was my father, but I got a
bounce-back
telling me the account had been closed. David did some more searching
on the
Internet and we are certain now that he’s my Dad. He lives outside
I withdrew all the money I have saved from my account at
the bank and David withdrew his. One of his pals from the team is
driving us to
the bus station tonight. There’s a bus that leaves at 3 AM for
David is the best friend anyone could ever ask for. He
told his coach what he was doing and the coach threatened to kick him
off the
team. David said “Go ahead. This is important.” His coach relented and
gave him
a week. So David is going with me to find my Dad.
I’m scared, but with David’s with me, I’m sure everything
will work out. I don’t know when I’ll get to blog again, so wish us
luck
everyone!
Toby's
Excellent Blog- Wednesday,
August 3, 2005
Man, this has
been an experience. David
and I are in an Internet café in
The bus ride was not too bad. There
were a lot of really weird and scary people on the bus and in the
different bus
stations. Twice, guys tried to pick us up. Well, they tried to pick
David up.
He’s beautiful with that dark curly hair and everything. Anyway, I now
HATE the
smell of busses and bus stations. They all smell like tobacco, body
odor, and
industrial disinfectant. It’s awful! But, I don’t care. We’re almost to
When we got to
Anyway, we’re waiting for the bus to
We get into
Anyway, I’ll let you know what
happens.
Toby’s Excellent
Blog- Thursday, August
4, 2005
Listening
to- Mozart/ The Magic Flute
Mood-
As Happy As I can Be
The
Magic Flute
was my
father’s and my favorite music to listen to when I was a kid, so I
guess you
can figure out what happened.
We
left
The bus came up Highway 7 once we
got into
The bus station is off the main
highway into town near the lake. We turned to the west and went a
couple of
blocks. My hands were shaking. David told me it would be OK and that
we’d get a
cab and then we would be there.
But, as we pulled into the parking
lot, I saw him. It had been three years, but he hadn’t changed at all.
Same
hair, red and nerdy. Same tall frame. Same worried look.
My Dad had come to meet us.
Our eyes met through the window. As
the people started getting off, I couldn’t move. I just kept looking at
him and
he kept looking at me. Finally, David said, “Let’s go, Toby.”
I was shaking so badly when I walked
up the aisle and I could barely walk down the step. Dad came over to
the door
and we both looked at each other, tears in our eyes. And, then… I don’t
remember
much. I know we were hugging and we were both crying. I don’t know how
long we
stood there crying and hugging, but after a while, we stopped. I
introduced him
to David and they hugged and cried for while. He looked at me as he
hugged
David and said, “You’ve turned into such a handsome young man.” Neither
Mom or
Bastard ever said anything like that to me. All they ever did was
ridicule me
for being “fat,” even though I’m not.
Dad had been reading my blog. He
said he was going through the list of blogs on Blogio and saw the title
of mine
and knew, he said he just knew it was me. And, then he wrote to me, but
he was
afraid that I would figure out who he was. So, he cancelled his
account. And,
then Tuesday night, something told him to check it. He said he didn’t
know why,
but he knew something was wrong and he had to check it. He read
everything and
he called Mom and told her that I was on a bus to
We drove to his house. It’s a neat
little place. And, he showed me my room. My room. He said I am going to
live
with him and that he will never let me go back to them and that if they
want to
go to the authorities and make all sorts of wild claims, they can. He
doesn’t
care anymore. He begged me to forgive him for leaving, but he hadn’t
wanted me
to go through what would happen if he stayed and fought them. He
thought it wouldn’t
be as bad for me if he just left. I understand.
My room. It’s where he does his
writing. Yes, his writing. Dad’s an author! His dream has come true! He
has
written a book and it’s been published! It’s under
his pseudonym, Jeffrey Spencer. It’s
about growing up gay in the south and falling in love with another boy
and
getting exposed and how the they almost commit suicide but they run
away and
live happily ever after. It’s not a best
seller, but it sold enough that he can rent this house and not work and
spend
his time writing his new book.
I’m going to go to school here in
We’re going to drive back and take
David home and while we’re there, we will pick up OUR books and the
rest of my things.
We’ll ship what we cant put in the car.
David has been such a good friend. I
will miss him. I love him and he will always be in my heart. In know
I’m not
the one for him, but he will always be in my heart. I told him he
should try to
play football for UVM!
Anyway, that’s it. Dad and David are
great friends. Dad and I are back together.
So, I guess that’s my blog for
today. We’ll have to see what tomorrow brings. And, for the first time
in
years, I’m not afraid of tomorrow!
Thank you for reading my
story, Then and Now. I hope
you enjoyed it and will let me know by writing to me at christopher.macintosh@gmail.com. Thank you and please visit my
blog, as well: Christopher Macintosh.