Then and Now
Christopher
Macintosh
This story is
the
fictional blog of a contemporary American teenage boy and the fictional
journal
of a teenager from the nineteen-seventies. This is not real and the
characters,
with the exception of any historical or public figures mentioned, are
not real
and any similarity to real individuals is purely coincidental. This
story is a
gay romance and mystery and though sex will be mentioned, there will be
no
explicit or gratuitous descriptions of sexual activity. This is not a
pornographic story. However, if you still feel you will be offended by
the
content, please read no further. I am not a lawyer and I do not play
one on TV,
(nor have I ever stayed at a Holiday Inn Select- apologies to
non-Americans,
LOL), but I seriously doubt that reading this story will violate any
American
laws. I cannot comment on anything legal outside the
You
may assume that any spelling, grammatical, or factual errors are
deliberate, as
these are supposed to be the works of two adolescent males. Yeah,
that's it.
That's the ticket. They're deliberate! Yeah. And, Heather Locklear told
me so. Yeah!
Chapter Four
Toby's
Excellent Blog- Wednesday,
July 20, 2005
Listening
to-Beck/ Girl
Mood-
Blown away!
I woke
up yesterday morning with the sound of the Mayflower moving van pulling
up in
front of the house behind us. I was pretty irritated because I had
stayed up
late reading 1984. I read the whole book and was pretty blown
away.
Actually, I should have said that three big things happened. 1984
was awesome. It totally blew me away. When I read about Big Brother and
how
they were able to watch everything the people did and control
everything the
people knew about news and history by changing all the newspapers and
books,
it's just like what's happening today. The government can monitor
everything
you do on the Internet. The Patriot Act lets them know every book you
check
out. The Pentagon is putting together this huge database with every
credit card
transaction you make, everytime you use an EasyPass on the turnpike,
evey cell
phone call you make. I mean, its scary as hell. I mentioned it to
Fuehrer this
morning at breakfast and he said, "Well, if you don't break the law,
you
don't have anything to worry about." What a dipstick. How effing stupid
can you get. But, that's the way everyone in the country is getting.
They don't
care how the government invades their privacy as long they think
they're safe.
Well,
anyway, I kind of got off track. So, the moving van was pulling up to
the house
behind us. So, I got up and showered and dressed and ate and went out
to check
it out. And, there he was.
I have a
friend.
I have a
friend.
I have a
friend.
He was
standing on the balcony watching the movers carry in some boxes. He was
so
beautiful in the morning sun. He has this kind of tanned skin, well it
would
look tanned even if it wasn't. And, this thick curly hair that hangs
over his
ears and down to his collar. He has a grin that just makes your heart
want to
explode. Dude, I chubbed just standing there.
He
waived and then disappeared inside the french doors on the balcony. The
movers
were bringing in a piano as he slipped out the front door and came up
to me. He
was still in cargos and a tee and sandals. He has big brown eyes that I
could
stare at all day and I guess I was because he said, "Helloooo" like I
had been spacing. I was embarrassed as hell, but he laughed.
We
introduced ourselves. David Rosen. His mom is Sarah Rosen. I know about
her.
She's famous around here. She had several paintings in the Museum and
all the
rich people in town buy her stuff. She designed the Summerfest poster
last year
and the Shakespeare in the Garden poster this year. He didn't mention
any of
that, but I already knew it. He took me inside and showed me around.
The house
is cool, totally Art Deco and they're fixing it with totally Art Deco
furniture
and stuff. His mother says she's doing minimalist deco, whatever that
is, but I
think I understand it's like totally uncluttered- like not lots of
stuff. No
carpet, hardwood floors, stuff like that. Anyway, his mother was way
cool and when I told her about all my books and stuff, she seemed
pretty
impressed. David was, too! David was impressed. He asked to see them.
So I
brought him to the house and showed him. Mom acted like she didn't give
a damn,
as always. I told him to ignore her and he giggled. It was so cute.
He
almost screamed when he saw my room. He loved it! I couldn't tear him
away from
the books. He said I had some really valuable stuff. He said his mom
could sell
some of my books for hundreds of dollars. I had no idea. I'm glad Mom
and
Fuehrer don't know!
He loved
my Dad's classic science fiction. I have books from the forties and
fifties
before Dad was born. Some of it was his dad's stuff, like A.
E. Van
Vogt, and Robert Heinlein, and Isaac Asimov, and Arthur C. Clark. David
went
ballistic. And, he loved the history. I have all of Will Durant's
history and
David couldn't believe it.
I had so
much fun. Mom even did something very un-Mom-like and made sandwiches
for us. I
about died when she made ham and cheese, because David is Jewish, but
he said
they aren't practicing Jews. He said they are secular Jews. Mom asked
if that
meant they didn't believe in God and David said no, but that he didn't
think
God intervened in life much. Mom didn't say anything much after that.
She just
got that usual look she gets when she's trying to be polite to people
she looks
down on. It was great. We both grinned at each other a lot.
Then,
David showed me his stuff. The movers had brought most of it in and I
helped
him unpack. He had some kewl books, too. But, he builds model ships,
like
sailing ships, and he had like a dozen. And, he plays the violin. I
used to
play the violin. Dad had me taking violin lessons from when I was seven
until
he left when I was eleven. I had a children's size, a three-quarter
violin.
David says he will help me and I can pick it up again. He doesn't think
it
would be a problem. It's probably too late for me to get into Orchestra
this
year, but next year I probably can. He is so kewl.
Then, he
gave me a heart attack. He opened a box and pulled out his sports
trophies. In
addition to being a reader, an intellectual, and a musician who loves
classical
and romantic music, David Rosen is a jock. I could have died. He's the
quarterback of the Junior Varsity football team for Southside. I looked
at him
like he was crazy and he laughed his ass off.
"It's
OK," he said. "I'm not an asshole. I'm still a good guy."
I was
like, "Football? Why? It's so stupid."
David
explained that it really isn't and that quarterback actually takes some
brains.
You have to be smart, you have to calculate trajectories, you have to
think
quickly, and you have to be a leader. And, he's right.
I had to
go home for dinner and then to go to effing Faithbuilders later, so I
didn't
get to see David tonight. BUT I HAVE A FRIEND!!! AND HE DOESN'T THINK
I'M A
DORK OR A LOSER!!!!
One
quick story before I go on. At dinner tonight, I mentioned that David
is
quarterback for Southside. I thought that Fuehrer would like that and
wouldn’t
make fun of him or put him down the way I figured he would since he was
my
friend. But, he was like, “A Jew? Playing football? A Jew football
player?
That’s rich.”
If I
could have taken a bat to his face right then, I would have. What a
dick. What
a total, complete, syphilis and gonorrhea covered dick!
Tonight,
when I got to Faithbuilders, Rebel was there but he came in after I did
and
even though there were lots of empty seats around me, he sat over in
the corner
near some other guys, even though he ignored them and I ignored him.
Oh, well.
I guess I really effed up last week.
Then,
when we got home, I immediately went to my room, opened the door and I
could
see David's window from my door. I watched him walk past it a couple of
times
without his shirt on and I got hard like instantly. He doesn't look
like a
jock, even if he is the QB, but he definitely has muscles and a chest,
but not
like they scream out at you. He doesn't have any hair on his chest, but
he has
some under his arms, not a lot. He looked so effing beautiful and hot.
I
immediately got naked and turned off the light and coruched on the
floor at the
door and watched him walk by a couple more times while I spanked. I
know you
probably think I'm a perv already and this just made you sure of it,
but I have
to be totally honest in this. I want to lay in bed and love David
Rosen. He is
the most beautiful, the most wonderful, the most perfect guy I have
ever known.
Cept for Dad, but that's different.
Anyway,
after I was done perving on David, I put on my shorts and got on my bed
and
read Cyrano de Bergerac. OMG! What an effing kewl play! I read
the intro
which was written in the 20's about this guy who said kids waited for
weeks to
get their copies of the play because boys loved to read stuff like this
back
then. Man, I can't see anyone at Central, and I'm sure Southside will
be the
same way, I can't see any guys my age getting off on something like Cyrano
de Bergerac, unless it's a video game and you can hack people to
death with
organs and body parts flying all over the place and blood spurting
everywhere
and the winner getting to screw his whore as a reward.
Cyrano
is so kewl. You really have to pay attention cause its written like
a poem
the way Shakespeare writes, cept it was written in the 1890's.There's a
scene
in Act Two when Cyrano had insulted the Comte de Guiche, a powerful and
influential
soldier and one of his friends says to him that he shouldn't try to
antagonize
all the people who could help him as a writer and a soldier and
Cyrano's like,
"You want me to crawl up some great man like vine? Eat a toad every
morning? Crawl in the dust? I am too proud to be a parasite! To utter
my own
words! To cock my hat the way I want! I stand alone!"
Now I
know why Dad wanted me to read this. Now I know why Dad loved it. And,
when
Cyrano dies in the garden of the convent after Roxanne realizes it was
Cyrano
who loved her all those years and Cyrano who wrote the love letters and
made
the speeches and not Christian. Oh, man, what an ending. It was so... I
don't
know what to say. Nothing I can say would be good enough. Its like the
greatest
thing I have ever read!
So, I'm
at the library this afternoon writing about the greatest day of my life
and
David's at football practice and I can hardly wait till after dinner so
I can
talk to him and tell him all about Cyrano. I know he'll love it
just
like I do. I know it. I can see that David has a soul like mine. David
loves
beauty and courage and I know he will understand.
Toby’s Excellent
Blog- Friday July
22, 2005
Listening
to- Coldplay
Mood-
dreamy
It
is still too kewl to believe. I keep thinking that something’s going to
happen
and it’s all going to fuck up and disappear. David is just the kewlest
person
in the world. He had never read Cyrano, but he had heard of it
and when
I showed it to him last night after dinner, he wanted to read the part
I wrote
about. He was so impressed. Then he saw the note that Dad wrote to me.
He asked
me about it, but I can’t tell him about Dad yet. I don’t want him to
know
anything bad or painful or difficult about me yet. I don’t want to
scare him
away. I like him too much and I’m afraid that if I loose him as a
friend, it
will just be too much for me to take. He understands me and laughs at
my jokes
and he’s kewl. We went out on the balcony while the sun was still up.
His mom
had set up an easel there and wants to paint. He played the violin for
me. I
have no idea what he played, but it was so beautiful and he got into
it. I mean
he like got really emotional, moving around and stroking the violin
like rock
stars do their guitars. It was something. And, he was so beautiful. I
got so
hard watching him, watching his shiny black curls falling back and
forth and his
eyes get so intense one moment and then so dreamy the next. He was
sweating
when he finished playing like he had just run laps. He was panting and
when he
saw the look on my face, he smiled and my heart just exploded. In just
three
days, we have become such good friends that we don’t even have to talk
to each
other to know what the other is thinking. We can just look at each
other.
And, his mom is the
kewlest. She
came over to meet Mom this evening while David and me were up on the
balcony.
She was real polite, but when I got home after dark, Mom said she
thought Mrs.
Rosen was a snob. I told her she’s kewl and that she just wanted to be
friends
and get to know them. She said that she can tell when someone’s talking
down
their nose at her and trying not to sound like it, but doing it anyway.
My mom
is so sensitive, and not in a good way. She doesn’t have a chip on her
shoulder; she had
Anyway, I got to see David
again Thursday
night through his window when he was getting ready for bed. It was
almost like
he was parading around in front of the window just for me. I turned the
light
off in my room again and did it on the floor in the shadow by the door
as I
watched. I did it again later thinking about how totally beautiful it
would be
to lay in bed and love him, how totally beautiful it would be for him
to put
his arms around me and hold me and to gaze into his eyes and and kiss
him.
OK, I’m getting smarmy, I
know. But,
that’s how I feel.
I love David Rosen.
Toby’s
Excellent Blog- Sunday, July
24, 2005
Listening
to- David practice the
violin
Mood-
excited
I
don’t what to say or how to say it, My emotions are a total jumble.
Everything
is just completely weird. It’s like someone put a mixer in my head and
scrambled my brain. My whole world is like upside down.
I am
writing this on Sunday night at David’s. He is letting me use his
computer. He
promised he wouldn’t read my blog. He is the best friend a guy could
ever ask
for.
OK. This
is the situation.
David
spent Saturday with some of his friends from the football team, which
is cool
because he’s a great guy and why wouldn’t anyone want to be his friend.
He
asked me if I wanted to hang with them, but I told him I had plans. I
lied and
I know you don’t lie to your best friend and Cyrano wouldn’t have done
it. He’d
have just come out and said he had other things to do. I didn’t. I just
rode my
bike over to the Gardens and re-read my favorite parts of Cyrano
and dreamed of living in
Saturday
afternoon, late, when David got back from seeing his friends, he told
me he had
rented the video of Cyrano de Bergerac.
He couldn’t find it on DVD, so we watched it on video. Anyway, Mom and
Fuehrer
had just left and Letitia was here. She said she didn’t care if I went
to David’s.
So we watched the movie. It stars Jose Ferrer and it was great. The
ending was
too wonderful. I knew just what was going to happen and when and how
and it was
incredible. I loved it. Nd, so did David. I never thought I would ever
find a
friend who could like the stuff I do. And, here’s one who’s a football
player,
a violin player, and a reader all in one who likes me.
I love
David Rosen.
Anyway,
I had to be home before Mom and Fuehrer got home, so I left just before
midnight and Letitia was sitting on the couch watching the end of Saturday Night Live and drinking more
cranberry juice. She looked at me and asked if I had a good time. I
said yes, I
had a great time and that I was happier than I had ever been.
Then she
said something that totally blew me away.
“You
looked just like your father did, just then.”
I stood
there for a moment and then said, “You knew my father?”
She
nodded and said, “We went to junior high together. He was just like
you, quiet,
intellectual. Never had any friends, except one. The only time I ever
saw him
really smile was in the ninth grade once.”
I couldn’t
believe it. I just stood there.
“You
knew my dad?”
She
nodded.
“He was
a sweet guy. Everyone picked on him. I felt sorry for him. He was so
sweet and there
was no reason for everyone to treat him the way they did.”
I didn’t
know what to say. Dad had never
talked about school. I had asked questions when I was younger about
where he
went and stuff like that and he would give me like general answers, but
he never ever said anything direct to
me about his life in school or what
happened or anything.
Then
Letitia got this really weird look on her face.
“Toby,
you deserve to know the truth.”
I froze.
“What
truth?”
She sat
there and I could tell she couldn’t make up her mind.
“Tell
me! Tell me about my Dad!” I almost screamed.
“There
were a lot of boxes of books when your Dad left and there was one they
didn’t
give you. I don’t know if I should tell you this, but there’s a box up
in the
attic with some things of your father’s that I think you should see.”
I
started to run to the door in the hallway ceiling that swings down from
the
attic when we heard the Odyssey pull up. Letitia thought for a second
and said,
“Go to bed. I’ll tell them your sick and tomorrow when they to church,
you go
up there. OK?”
We
planned it out and I went to bed just as Mom and Fuehrer came in. Mom
came back
and I convinced her I had eaten something bad.
“Well,
Jewish cooking doesn’t always sit well with normal people,” she said. I
didn’t
tell her that Mrs. Rosen was a party and that David and I had ordered
Dominoes.
Well,
this morning, when they left for Hell, I got up and went to the attic.
I found
the box Letitia was talking about. I carried it downstairs to my room.
It’s
incredible. It’s all of Dad journals and writing! Notebook after
notebook of
all of his journals from when he was a kid and the novels he tried to
write
when he was older and pictures and yearbooks and cassette recordings. I
don’t
have a cassette player, but David said we can get one cheap at Target.
Anyway,
Dad was pretty good looking for 1973! His hair was redder than mine and
longer!
He let it go over his ears when he was in high school. It was like a
military
cut in junior high. He had freckles. HE was cute when he was younger,
but he
did look a little nerdy. He used to button the top button sometimes.
There was
one picture of him and this really cute blond kid with their arms
around their
shoulders. I know where the picture was! It was a in front of a small
dogwood
tree in the
There is
just too much stuff.
I couldn’t
look through anything this afternoon after the family got back from
church, but
I am tonight after they go to bed. I am dying to read Dad’s journals.
He kept
journals through junior high and high school. Back then they had junior
high
from 7th to 9th grade and senior high from 10th
to 12th. That would suck, being a sophomore and the low man
on the
totem pole. Anyway, I’ll write more tomorrow or Tuesday.
I hoped you liked Chapter Four of Then and Now. PLEASE write to me. I would like to
read any
comments you might have about the story and would appreciate your
sending email to christopher.macintosh@gmail.com.
I would also invite you to check out my
real blog: Christopher Macintosh.
Thank you.