Date: Sat, 31 Aug 2013 00:18:33 +0000
From: robert goater <winchesterbornbred@hotmail.co.uk>
Subject: Tommy 1923/6

HITLER HAS ONLY GOT ONE BALL
GORING HAS TWO BUT VERY SMALL
HIMLER HAS SOMETHING SIMLER
BUT POOR OLD GOEBBELS HAS NO BALLS AT ALL.

A "classic" ditty sung around the world during the war to the tune of
Colonel Bogey and sung with true feeling!

Knowing you have enjoyed reading this toom, show your appreciation by
donating to nifty please. Thanks.

The usual preamble still applies as I am expecting offers from Bolliwood
any day now!

____________________________________________________________________________

Saving Private Thompson
____________________________________________________________________________


Tommy was delighted and surprised Lord Hunter Morton would write. It was
a long letter and Tommy saw a side to him never seen by anyone before.
He wrote of his sadness that he and Cornwallis had no more contact.
"Tommy I made a great mistake and I would do anything to be able to
reconcile with him. I know he is in the Army, but even I, his father,
cannot find out where he is or what he is doing. I can only assume he is
still alive as surely I would have been notified if any thing happened to
him?Tommy I have no idea what you are up to either, but if you do get
leave you know you will always be welcome to stay at the Manor as my
guest and if you have a friend, do bring him as well." He went on some
more about the farms and gardens. He even mentioned that Simon had gone
elsewhere, but did not know anything more.

Tommy wrote back and among other things said he would love to visit when
ever the Army allowed him leave. He did not mention any thing about a
friend coming.

"Fancy going into town tonight Lee?"

"Well if you go I have to, so yes but i'm broke." Tommy had only spent 10
shillings that Lord H M had given him, so he was loaded not that he would
tell anyone.

"I can buy you a lemonade Lee, that's about as strong as you can take
anyway." Tommy was told to fuck off which was expected and they went for
a shower and got into parade uniform and went to catch the 3 tonner which
did regular runs into town Saturdays and Sundays.

They drank a pint in two pubs then went to the third for another one
before thinking of going back to camp. They were sort of enjoying it, but
Lee more than Tommy. He was not used to drinking and was only out to
break the monotony of camp life. The town was crowded and most were Army
including dozens of Americans. The difference in uniforms was huge. The
Brits in their surge uniforms, thick and not that comfortable and the
Americans in smart gabardine. The comparison was there to see. It was
also obvious who the women preferred, the gabardine and dollars! Surge
and pounds, or rather lack of them, had no chance! Thank God i'm queer
thought Tommy.

"Fucking country. Lousy weather, lousy food, lousy beer and lousy
fucking women. Why the fuck are we in this dump?" A  guy on the next
table was expressing his cultural opinion of Great Briton and
the English. Here we go, thought Tommy and forgot Lee was with him.

"Fuck off then and take that lot with you. Piss off, we wont miss you."

"Thanks Lee you prick, just let him have his say. It's all coming from
his beer glass anyway." Too late, he was having none of it.

"Look you fucking midget. We are here to dig you shits out of trouble
again so shut your mouth or I will." He looked at Tommy. "What you
looking at Limey? Take your boy friend back and fuck him, at least that's
something you cunts wont get wrong." Tommy slammed his glass down
and stood up. "Come outside you faggot." He knew that would hit the spot
and the guy flew into a temper and so in no real state to fight that
well and Tommy knew it. Five minutes later the guy was sitting on the
pavement holding a bloody nose and trying to focus. Tommy turned to his
friends.
"Take him back and fuck him at least that's something you cunts wont
get wrong. Nice being friendly isn't it? He now knows i'm a good boxer
and it's all down to a really great guy and a credit to his country,
America."

"Tommy that was............"

 "SHUT UP and drink up we are going back."

"Ok, your surrounded, I will let off evil farts at you unless you
two surrender, but if you do I will buy the drinks." Tommy was looking at
the quiet one and they laughed with him.

"We surrender and a drink would be good, thanks." He went off to the bar.

"My name is Paul Harding, just want to say sorry about all that
and.........." Tommy stopped him and introduced himself and Lee.

"Look Paul this twat sitting next to me has a bigger mouth than that
guy and if he had not opened his fucking gob, this would not have
happened, well not with me anyway." Tommy looked at Lee and just could
not help himself smile at him.

Tommy changed the subject and they chatted about homes, work, families,
all the usual things strangers break the ice with.

Tommy gave Lee money to get another round which gave Paul the opportunity
to say that he was homosexual "as well" which surprised Tommy no end and
wondered where this was going.

"Don't be angry Tommy and I am not trying to come on to you. I noticed
you two as soon as you came in, you look great together. It's just great
to see guys the same as me. How long have you been together?"

"Why do you think I am the same as you?"

"Experience of being homosexual and meeting many who are. I know the
signs Tommy, the body language, the looks, you cant hide it, well not
from someone who has been around the block too many times! You even
smiled at Lee when you were telling him off!"

"Well, you are right, but I don't know about Lee. We are only together
because we were told we will be permanently together as a team with our
Company. Other than that, nothing between us."

"Oh, ok Tommy. I know you are a nice guy and don't think you will be
offended, but I KNOW both of you wish there was more, particularly Lee. I
now know for some reason you are trying to fight it though."

"Fuck, I hate you Yanks, wanna come outside!?"

"Only for a hug, nothing more ok?" Lee came back and wondered what the
laughing was all about.

 "Paul just wondered if a guy as small as you had a 4 inch cock."

"You did tell him it's 10 inches didn't you?" Without thinking as Tommy
sometimes did, said.

"I wish!"

They said goodbye to their new friend and got the last lorry back to
camp. There was quite a long walk through the lines of billets before
they got to theirs.

"Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Wish I had a 10 inch cock?"

"I could not care less what you got, but I know what size you are, I have
seen it enough times now."

"And you like what you see?"

"Shut up homo hater. Unless all that shit you said when you first came to
the billet was all crap, it's about time you came clean. You know about
me, it's about time I knew about you. We are a team remember." There was
silence until they were a short distance from their billet. Lee stopped
and as they were a team, Tommy had to stop as well.

"I am homo and have know it for a couple of years, my mate showed me I
was when he came to stay a few times. All we did was wank because we
were horny, but when I tried to kiss him he would not even wank me off
anymore. He said only homo's kissed and we became ex mates. That's the
only thing I have ever done with a bloke and never met anyone I wanted to
do it with anyway, until I met you." Tommy was stuck for words, but
thought about what Paul had said to him.

"So all that gobbing off was to cover up?"

"In a nut shell, yes."

"Well, put your nuts in a shell and keep them there, it's late we have to
get to bed." Lee as always had the last word, it was his turn to say.

"I wish!" And Tommy thought about what Paul had said again. He was glad
he had met him.

At exactly 21 30 on Monday,  twelve of them stood outside on the parade
ground and then marched to a hut near the main gate and told to go in.

"Right listen up. All of you strip to your pants and fold everything up
and come back here." They did as instructed and for once neither Tommy or
Lee took any notice of the lovely guy standing next to him. Lee was
feeling sick anyway and wished he was not there.
"There is a rack of clothes there," he pointed at said rack. "It's full
of German uniforms, each of you in turn go to the rack and find your size
and get into it." Half hour later they stood in line looking very German
and not at all happy. Lee could not find one that was small enough and
had to settle for a uniform two sizes too big. He looked comical and at
least gave them all something to laugh at, but not Tommy, he knew it must
be a pain for Lee.

"Right, from here you are going to the cook house where you will be
given a meal and my advise is to eat as much as you can. You will only
have half an hour. You will be picked up and taken on a ride to somewhere
in England." The Sergeant allowed himself a laugh. "When you reach your
dropping off point you will get off and you will make your way back here
and report to the guard room when you do. They have been told to expect
you, so you should not get shot. How you get back is up to you, but you
will know what this is all about and so I will not bother telling you.
The first team back will get a 48 hour pass, the last, a day cleaning
shit houses. Line up outside." (The Army DID tend to have very clean
"shit houses!")

"I cant eat Tommy, I feel like crap."

"Get something down Lee with this gear on we are not going to be
very welcome in any café are we."

They boarded the truck and tried to get comfortable. Tommy did not have
his watch so he would have to guess the time, but more important the
direction they were going in. They were blacked out and could not see
out.

"Don't say fuck all Lee I need to concentrate."

The journey went on and on and Tommy knew they were on side roads because
of the twists and turns that kept coming, but he was sure there were more
right hand turns then left. They were being taken in a big circle, he was
sure of it. Almost as soon as he thought that the truck was turned on to
a dirt track and the thing bounced all over the place at no more than
5mph. Tommy knew it would not be long, but knew there was a big problem
as soon as they got off, it was pouring with rain.

"Tommy, i'm going to be sick!"

"Hang on Lee, we will be off soon. Don't talk."

When it slowed to take a very sharp turn he prayed they would stop soon.
Lee was hoping they would for completely different reasons, his meal was
about to come back up. Just two minutes after the sharp bend the lorry
stopped. They were there, where ever "there" was.

"Just stay with me Lee and do as I say ok?"

"Ok Tommy, but I still feel like shit. I'm going to throw up soon anyway
and need to get out."

"We have arrived you lucky people." They all scrambled out and one good
thing was their eyes were already adjusted to the dark. Tommy looked
around him and knew where that corner was and also noted that it would
take time for the lorry to turn round assuming of course it was not going
on. He looked in that direction and felt certain they would have to turn
round.

"Right, listen out, you will all go to the bottom of the field when I say
and then split up with your team mate. NOBODY goes with anyone else
understood?" Tommy looked down the field and thought they would only be
in sight for half of it. His plan was complete, all he had to do was drag
Lee with him.

"Stay close to me and do as your told ok?" He whispered to Lee. Lee threw
up and the Sergeant saw it.

"I often throw up when i'm excited as well Thompson! Right, fuck off all
of you!" It was bucketing down and every one of them were already wet
through.

Tommy grabbed hold of Lee and ran as fast as he could drag him, the poor
lad did not have a clue what the hell was going on.
Half way down the field and having put distance from the others he
changed course and again pulled Lee towards the last corner the lorry had
gone round. He stopped and could hear the engine revving and was sure
they were still turning round.

"Come on Lee, we are going to get back on the lorry." All Lee could do
was go where Tommy pulled him.

They arrived at the bend and Tommy tried to judge where the truck would
be at it's slowest to get round it. They would have to stay hidden until
it had almost past them then get to the back and hope the canvas flap was
not too tight for him to get it free for them to have space to get in.

It arrived and when almost past them Tommy told Lee to stay with him. He
got to the back and swore. It was too secure. All he could do was
struggle with the cord which by now was wet and therefore even tighter.
The lorry was now half way round the bend, but at last Tommy managed to
loosen the cord and got a couple of feet of it free. He jumped on the
back and then manage to climb into the truck. Lee was about six feet
away running after the truck, but slowing up and at any moment the lorry
would be clear of the bend.

"COME ON LEE! RUN!" Tommy shouted as loud as he could without telling the
whole world they were there. By now Tommy was thinking he would have to
get out again as Lee was struggling.
Lee knew he was running out of steam, but knew he had to get on board and
all he had left was his own fitness that would get him to Tommy's out
stretched arm. He put everything he had left and just managed to get his
arm to Tommy's. Tommy lifted Lee off the ground and got him through the
narrow gap in the flap. They were on board, but Lee was in trouble.

One of the requirements when on these trips was a number of blankets had
to be carried and this was a God send for both of them.Tommy told Lee to
strip off and showed him how by getting naked himself while hanging on
for dear life as they were being thrown all over the place. They were wet
through and by the feel of him Lee was running a high temperature and
very hot. Lee just did as he was told and with Tommy's help got naked
himself. Tommy left him like that as he got blankets and laid two still
folded on the floor and sat Lee on them. He then got two more, spread
them out and wrapped them round their bodies. Lee was shivering, but
boiling at the same time. Tommy was now very worried.

"Look Lee I don't think we are that far from camp. They have taken us on
"B" roads and tracks and my guess is we will soon be on "A" roads. I'm
sure we went north but after an hour we seemed to be going in all sorts
of directions, but my guess is they were turning round in a wide
circle towards camp. Come on mate it wont be long and I can get you to
sick bay. Lee was going in and out of consciousness.

"Hang on Lee we will be back soon. Don't worry every things ok." Even
Tommy did not believe that, but Lee did not hear him anyway.

At last they pulled onto a main road and Tommy knew he was right and was
sure this would not take long. That's what he was praying for anyway. He
was now really frightened for Lee. Fuck, why NOW?"

He spent the whole time talking to Lee trying to encourage him to stay
positive. As he spoke he became aware for the first time that they were
naked and with him sitting behind Lee with his arms around his body this
was the first time like this since William had been there. Despite his
worry about Lee he could not help love the feel of the body he had his
arms around.

Lee came too and spoke. "Fucking hell Tommy I......." then fell back
unconscious. He drifted in and out and remain as hot as ever or maybe
even hotter? Tommy was not sure, but thought he had better open the
blankets other wise Lee would combust! It was a good move. Tommy told
himself if they were not back within 15 minutes he would bang on the cab
and tell them that Lee was in a bad way and needed either to get back to
camp or a hospital.

As if on script the truck slowed and Tommy knew they were back, it had
only taken three quarters of an hour and guessed they had been put off no
more than 5 miles away from camp. "Cleaver shits." He thought. Lee was
still out of it so he did not have to tell him to be quiet and just sat
there listening to the Sergeant and the driver go off.

"Bet those cunts don't know how near they are to us Freddy!" They went
off, "bet two of them do, well one does!"

It was impossible to get Lee dressed, he was a dead weight. So his only
choice was to wrap him in a blanket and carry him to sick bay. That of
course was on the other side of camp, it would be. So, with Lee over his
shoulder wrapped in a blanket looking like a corpse and Tommy in a German
uniform it looked like a scene from a Zombie "B" movie. Luck was on
Tommy's side when a military police jeep pulled up and the MP took them
the rest of the way. Sergeant Brown of the Military Police was great and
knocked up the sleeping medic on duty. He was not best pleased until he
saw Sgt. Brown.

"Get this lad inside and call the M.O. NOW!" The orderly shot off and
rang the duty Medical Officer. Tommy still holding Lee put him on a bed
and waited for the guy to come back. When he did he told Tommy to go back
to his billet.

"No, i'm not leaving him."

"Why not, you suddenly a doctor now?"

"No, we are a team and we have to stay together. I'm not going anywhere."
The orderly shrugged. "Your choice, but he is going to be here some time
mate."

"Fine by me." He left Lee and went into the waiting room where Sgt. Brown
was.

"You on "teams" then Private? Sergeant Brown asked.

"Yes Sarge, just got back from the night walk."

"So I see, the Jerry uniform gave me a clue. You did well to get back so
soon. It normally takes them a day or more to get back." Tommy told him
how they did and impressed the Sergeant.

"Bloody hell you crafty bugger. Well done lad, well fucking done!"

Sergeant Brown stayed with Tommy. Tommy was lucky that it was Brown
who came along, most MP's were out of the same place called "Cuntsville"
and very unpopular with the rest of the military.

"Right young man, you have done well to get Thompson back here when you
did, if you didn't he could have been in serious trouble. He has
pneumonia and will be out of action for a couple of weeks. It is not as
serious as it could be, but only because you have got him here so soon.
You could very well have saved his life."

"It was not so much me sir as an idea of mine. I planned what we would do
long before I realised Lee was sick." Sergeant Brown told the MO what
Tommy had done and someone else was impressed.

"Ok, you might as well go now Torrent, Thompson will be fine." Once again
Tommy had to explain.

"I cant leave him sir, that's our orders, besides I don't want too."

"What if I release you of those orders?"

"Only "Smif.." Col. Smithers can sir." That wasn't exactly true, but
Tommy really did not want to leave Lee.

"Ok Torrent, go find a bed and get some shut eye. Nice uniform by the way
and you need to get out of it, it's wet through!"

Sgt Brown promised Tommy he would book both he and Lee in at the time he
picked them up and get someone to get his and Lee's uniforms.

"You just got yourselves a 48 hour pass son. Good for you."

It soon got round the Company what had happened and even Col. Smithers
almost smiled. He went to the sick bay to look at Lee and talk to Tommy.

"So you cheating bugger, when did you come up with that idea?"

"As soon as we were told what was happening sir. I like walking, but
prefer not to be in Nazi shit."

"Ok and I suppose I had better say well done, but you had better not try
that on again understand?"

"Yes sir." Col. Smithers liked this private, not that he would be one for
much longer if he passed the course on Salisbury Plain. He told Tommy he
was relieved of the "team" until Lee was discharged and then a big
surprise.

"You have both got a 48 hour pass, but I am sending you home for a week's
leave as soon as Thompson is fit." Col. Smithers could have no idea there
were no homes to go to.
He went to see Lee before he left the sick bay the following morning. He
was still fast asleep and Tommy stood there looking down at the smallest
soldier in the British Army and once again thought about what Paul had
said to him in the pub. He went to his billet and wrote to Lord Hunter
Morton.

Tommy held his breath as he opened the letter from his Lordship and
smiled at what was written, "I will be delighted to have you stay Tommy
and your friend. My word the Army giving you a whole week? Has the war
finished then? I will have Jefferies meet you at the station." Tommy read
and reread it many times, not just the content, but the ending. He signed
in his own name, Edward. In his other two letters it had been EHM.

"Now behave and don't let me down. Always call his Lordship, "My Lord" or
"Your Lordship," DONT fucking swear and eat off the fork not the blade of
the knife. Got it?"

"Yes Tommy, got it. What do I call you then? Your Cuntship?
Yes your Cuntship.
REALLY? Your Cuntship?
How simply fascinating your Cuntship.
Would your Cuntship like to suck my dick, again?
How's that Tommy, good enough for his LORDSHIP?" Tommy could not say
anything he was creased up. They were back on "team" and were pleased to
be there. Tommy had been lost for the two weeks Lee was in sick bay.

They were sitting on the grass not far from their billet having a break
from the chore they had been assigned, sweeping the paths leading to the
billets. War is SO fucking boring at times.

"I have never sucked your dick, so why say "again?"

"I know you haven't, but you know I would not stop you either. Tommy you
have William in your head still and I don't have a problem that you
are still in love with him. You two were in love and I can only guess
at what you are going through since he died. I have never been in love so
I don't have a clue what it's like, but i'm going to say one thing Tommy.
All I am trying to do is not for you to think all I want is sex with you.
I would never do that, but what I want is IF you want us to get more
serious I am prepared to wait until you sort your head out and see me for
what I am and not just a replacement. I will NEVER try to do anything
with you, or us until you are ready and if nothing happens? That's
because it was not meant to be in the first place." For Lee that was a
full blown speech and Tommy loved to hear it.

"Thanks Lee. Maybe what's holding me back is that William and my whole
family were killed because of this fucking war and if the same happened
to you? I fucking well know I could not coup with another loss. I know it
Lee." Lee was spot on again of course and cheered and Tommy up.

"Yes your Cuntship!"
____________________________________________________________________________

winchesterbornbred@hotmail.co.uk