Tripod Chapter 42

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Tripod -- Chapter 42

"Good morning, students and staff," the Wannabe Voiceover Guy announced in his usual cringe-worthy way, "The Gay-Straight Alliance will be holding its fabulous monthly meeting on Wednesday in the Rainbow Room--just kidding. It will happen in room 2117 at 3:40 PM. And the Drama Club is overrun with emotion to announce that auditions for the spring musical will take place on Thursday at 3:40 PM in the auditorium. How much you wanna bet that those two clubs coordinated to make sure there was no schedule conflict? I mean, if you had to draw a Venn diagram of Drama Club members and Gay-Straight Alliance Members, well, I'd guess that one circle fits tightly inside the other, don't you think?"

My eyes rolled so hard they hurt. Seconds later, my phone vibrated in my pocket:

ASHER: OMG! OMG! 😃😃😃

ME: Let me guess. U wanna try out for the musical?

ASHER: I've been dreaming about this since my coming out party. YES!!

Later that evening, around the dinner table, Asher filled Mom & Dad in about his intentions of becoming a star.

"That's amazing, Asher, but your schedule's already pretty full. Rehearsals take up a lot of time. Do you think you can get in all of your regular school work, all of your tutoring work, and a school musical at the same time?" Dad asked. "I don't think it's such a good idea."

Asher's face fell. He looked like he was going to cry. He took a second to compose himself, then said, "It's only for two months. You know how hard I've been working and what Mr. Choi says about my tutoring stuff. I've already talked to him about it and he said that we can work the tutoring around my schedule. If I have to not sleep for a couple of months to fit everything in, then I will. PLEASE??"

Then Mom joined in the conversation, "Asher, you've still got two whole school years after this one. Maybe you should just wait until the fall to try out for another musical. By then, I think you'll be caught up on your schoolwork and can take it on."

Asher was normally all smiles and more than happy to follow our folks' advice, but this time his lower lip started to tremble. He turned red, then stood up from the table and without saying a word, stormed off and ran down to his room.

"You know, the kid has had his heart set on this for months. He's working his ass off to catch up at school and doing great. Let him do this. If you see that he's falling behind, we can figure something out then, but I'm betting on Asher," I said.

"Jaime, it wouldn't be fair to everyone else if Asher had to quit halfway into rehearsals because he's not keeping up," Dad said.

"Think about all the shit that Asher's been through and how he's survived and pushed ahead. The kid almost never complains and walks around smiling all the time. This is the one thing that he's really, really wanted ever since he found out that musicals are a thing. You've heard him sing. There's no way he's not getting a part. Please. I'll watch over him and make sure he's getting his stuff done. I'll handle the cooking on my own. He doesn't have to help. That'll give him a little more time. I'm already in at Northwestern, so if my grades slip a touch, who cares, right?

Mom and Dad looked at each other and reached an agreement without saying a word. Mom nodded her head.

"I'll go down and tell him, OK?" I said.

"OK, Jaime," Dad added, "this one's on you. Make sure he doesn't get into trouble."

I walked slowly down the stairs because I could hear Asher crying and wanted to give him a second to compose himself. He sat straight up and wiped away the tears but his eyes were red and swollen.

"I straightened Mom & Dad out. You can try out for the musical."

Asher jumped off his bed and was bouncing up and down shouting, "YES! YES! YES!" Then he dove in and hugged me so hard I thought I'd pass out.

"But Asher..."

He dropped me like a hot potato.

"I'm not sure I like the sound of this," he moaned.

"The responsibility is mine to make sure that you stick to your schedules and get all of your work done. You don't want to have to go to summer school, right?"

"Jaime, you're the best brother...really. I'm not gonna disappoint you. Schoolwork and tutoring work will get done. I promise.

"Hey, speaking of tutoring, every Monday, whenever I ask Mr. Choi how his weekend was, he blushes and says he spent it with friends in Chicago. You think maybe he has a boyfriend?"

"Asher, you're not a little kid, so I'm gonna be honest with you. Think back to the Christmas party. Who was Lincoln talking to all night?"

"Uncle Noah and Jermaine."

"And who gave Lincoln a ride home?"

"Noah and Jermaine. Why? What about it? ...OH! Did they...Are they..."

"Instant chemistry, so to speak. They've been inseparable for months now. But you can't tell anyone at school. Please. It might get Lincoln in trouble."

"He's the nicest guy ever and a really, really good teacher. My mouth is sealed shut. I'd never say anything to get him in trouble. Jaime, thanks for realizing I'm old enough to handle that, and thanks for everything. Front-row seats for you on opening night! If I get a part in the show."

"Do you know what the show is anyway? The asshole who does the morning announcements never said".

"It's called Dear Evan Hansen. I've never heard of it but that doesn't mean much. I'm still catching up. Do you know it? Any good?" Asher asked, his innocence in full view.

"Really??!! It's a good show, but God, be prepared to cry. There's a movie of it, you know. You can stream it. You've got a couple of days before auditions, so you can get to know the story and the music. Maybe you'd want to audition with one of the songs? There're probably karaoke versions online."

"Good ideas. It's still early. I can watch the movie now."

"Not so fast. What about your homework? Don't you still have work to do?"

"Boy, you're taking this responsibility thing seriously," Asher grumbled. "Yeah, I have more homework and some stuff to do for Mr. Choi. How about we make a deal..."

"No deals. You finish that stuff first and you do your best. Show me what assignments you have."

Asher dug out his notebook and textbooks.

"Tomorrow morning, you show me your completed work. And if you're not too tired, you can tell me about the movie on the way to school, OK?"

"Yup."

"I know you can sing like a pro but have you ever acted? It's not just singing, you know."

"Oh, puhlease, Jaime, I'm gay. I acted straight for fifteen years. And I had to make up all those words. Playing a part in a show where all the words are already written should be easy."

Asher paused for a second. I could tell he was weighing whether or not to say something. Then he smiled meekly and said, "Hey, can I ask you something? But, it's one of those questions that I'm embarrassed to ask and I wouldn't ever ask anyone but you, OK? So, don't laugh at me."

"You know you can ask me anything."

"In the locker room after PE, when we all shower, uh, I sometimes look at the other boys. You know."

"You check out their dicks, you mean?"

"Yeah. I mean, I'm gay, right? I try not to be too obvious and I don't stare. I mean, I don't want to get..."

"Hard."

"Well, I was going to say, `Made fun of,' but you're right, too," Asher laughed. "I kind of noticed something and I want to be sure I'm OK."

"Asher, as long as your dick gets hard when you're excited, I'm sure it's just fine."

"Jaime, I'm not worried about if it works or not. Believe me, ever since you told me about lube and tissues, I've got that one figured out."

I laughed.

"No, I think that mine's bigger than the other guys' things. Is that bad?"

I had to close my eyes and take a deep breath to keep from bursting out laughing.

"No. It's not. But guys tend to fall into two categories, `Growers' and `Showers.' Some guys are smaller when they're soft but grow a lot when they're hard. I mean double or even triple in length. They call them `Growers' because their dicks grow a lot when they're excited. Then there are some guys who look really big when they're soft but they don't grow that much more when they're hard. They call them `showers' because they show off nicely when they're soft but they don't grow that much more when they're hard. Maybe yours starts out bigger but doesn't grow that much."

"But that's not what's happening. It starts big and keeps getting bigger."

"Well, an average erect penis, I've read, is about five-and-a-half inches long."

"That's it?!" Asher screamed in a panic. "Oh, God. I'm a freak. No one will ever want to be my boyfriend."

"Asher, first of all, if someone loves you, they should love all of you and your penis size shouldn't matter to them, whether it's small, medium, or large. Second, even though it shouldn't be important, some guys like big dicks. I mean, they love big dicks, the bigger, the better. So, I'm sure you'll never have a problem finding someone who wants to be with you. But let me give you some advice, never agree to be with someone just because they want your dick but they don't care about the rest of you. Even if they get totally turned on by the size of you, you're still attached to it and you deserve to be treated just how you want to be treated. OK?"

"You must really like big ones," Asher laughed.

"Actually, that would be Darius." Oops. I let the secret slip. No going back now.

"Jaime, you're just a little guy. It can't be that big. I bet it just looks big because you're short."

"Trust me, my brother, all of the advice I've given you is from firsthand experience. It's huge and you're right, it looks even bigger because I'm so short."

"Well, if five-and-a-half inches is average, what, maybe eight inches?"

"We don't need to go into the specifics but it's about time you figured out that `Tripod' has nothing to do with my videomaking skills."

Asher fell over laughing. "Are you serious? It's that big?"

"It actually hangs most of the way to my knees soft and comes up to my nipple when it's hard."

"Well, I'm feeling a lot better now. From what I can tell, you're having fun all the time with Darius and your other friends. I don't think I'll have to worry then. Mine's not THAT big, even though I've never actually measured it."

"Nearly everyone with a penis measures it at some point. There's a tape measure in the kitchen in the center drawer in the island. Just remember that I use it when I roll out dough for cinnamon rolls, so please wipe it off when you're done, OK?"

Asher turned bright red, then laughed. "You can inspect the measuring tape when you review my homework. Now get out of here. I have a movie to watch and a dick to measure."

The following morning Asher and I sat down to a quick breakfast before heading out the door.

"Eight," was the first word out of his mouth.

"So, you used the tape measure?"

"Yes, but that's actually my rating of the movie. You don't really need to know how big my thing is."

"Hah! You're such a tease."

"And I used up half a box of tissues last night, too...and no, it had nothing to do with my penis either. God, I cried and cried. Poor Evan Hansen. I could really relate. I've already memorized some of the songs."

"OK, let's see your homework first."

"Yes, Mr. Parole Officer. Here you go, sir."

I took a minute to review. Neatly done and from what I could tell, perfect.

"Can I sing now?" Asher asked impatiently.

"Hit it!"

"Hit what? What are you talking about, Jaime?"

"It's an expression to tell musicians to start playing."

"English is weird."

By the time Asher was two minutes into his acapella version of "Words Fail," tears were streaming down my face and Mom & Dad had come rushing down the stairs. Once he'd wrapped up the five-plus minute song, we were all slobbering messes, including Asher whose angst and remorse were so convincing that it was all I could do to stop myself from jumping up and consoling him. Mom, Dad, and I just looked at each other slack-jawed.

"Well? Don't just sit there. How was it? Do you think I have a chance?" Asher asked, now completely composed and smiling.

"Asher, I don't know what to say," Dad remarked. Dad is never speechless.

Asher's smile instantly disappeared.

"That was astounding," Dad continued. "It was astonishing. I would pay to hear you sing that song night after night."

Mom and I just nodded in agreement, both of us still too choked up to talk.

"Really?! Maybe I'll get into the show. I'd be happy with any part...except maybe the dead kid."

***

"Jaime, Eddie, and Tyler, can I see you for a second after class?" Mr. Choi asked as the bell rang to end our chemistry lecture.

"Can I count on you guys to be at the Gay-Straight Alliance meeting tomorrow? I checked before I scheduled it so that neither the track team nor the gymnastics team has practice on the same day as our meeting. I know you guys have been to a couple of events but never to any of our meetings."

All three of us nodded.

"And bring your friends. I've already told Asher to come and bring his friends, too. We can use some new members. And Jaime, do you feel like baking something?"

"Well, zucchini bread and banana bread were both hits at the coffee house event last year. The gay and bi guys loved the phallic imagery," I added sarcastically.

"Then you're going to have to make dessert tacos to keep the lesbians happy," Tyler joked.

"Well, what would work for trans and non-binary people?" Eddie quipped.

"OK, I think this joke's gone one step too far," Mr. Choi commented. "Brownies without nuts should be just fine for everyone."

"Without nuts! That's it," Eddie laughed. "We've got the trans women covered. How about muffins with the tops removed for the trans guys?"

Eddie, Tyler, and I all laughed. Mr. Choi suppressed a laugh but shot us a dirty look. "You boys are sick. See you tomorrow."

***

At lunch that day, as the usual lunch crew sat around recounting the news of the day, I filled them in on Asher.

"So, Asher finally knows why I'm called `Tripod.'"

"Who told him? That Bentley kid?" Brandon asked.

"You're not gonna believe it. After we talked about him trying out for the school musical, he confessed that he checks out the guys in the locker room when they shower."

"What has that got to do with anything, other than he's a perv like the rest of us?" Tyler asked.

"He's afraid that his cock is too big. Says that when he compares his to the other boys' things, his is a lot bigger."

"Oh, God, Jaime, it must be contagious," Tyler mocked. "He's been in your house for two months now. His cock must have grown to mammoth size by now. Have you had the water analyzed? Maybe it's something in the air in your house beside your legs."

"Ha. Ha. Hey, in all seriousness, I've been in his place. Realizing you're massively different from everyone else is scary. Tyler, you out of all you guys know how tough it was for me when word spread. How I got made fun of."

"Yeah, we all do, Jaime. You know how Eddie and me tried to protect you. What did you tell him?"

"Well, first I explained about `growers' and `showers' but he said that his not only starts out way bigger than the others he's seen but also grows a ton when it gets hard. When I told him that the average dick is about five and a half inches long, he fucking freaked. Couldn't believe it was that small. Said that nobody would want to be with him he was so big. Then I explained about size queens, even though I didn't use that expression. That made him feel better. He thought I was referring to me being one, but then I let it slip that I was talking about Darius, so I had to explain where `Tripod' came from."

"Did you whip it out and make him faint?" Seán asked.

"No. I didn't even give him an exact size. Once I told him in general terms how big it is, after the initial shock wore off, he relaxed and said that his wasn't THAT big and since he knew how much Darius and me, well, all of us, fool around, having a really big dick probably wasn't a terrible thing. Then I told him where the measuring tape was so that he could measure his own."

"So, how big is it?" Brandon asked.

"Why do you want to know? Sho's been keeping you busy."

"Just curious. I'm really competitive," Brandon laughed. "Just keeping an eye on potential competitors."

"Give it up, Brandon," Tyler joked, "Jaime's already got a spot locked up in the Penis Hall of Fame."

"I mean, he's gotta take the top spot in `Penis size as a percentage of body weight," Eddie chimed in. "What is it, Jaime, 40%? 50%?"

"Don't exaggerate. It's only about 20%," I laughed. "Twenty pounds of cock to a hundred pounds of me."

***

Lincoln and I agreed to meet up first thing the next morning so that I could drop off the food for the Gay-Straight Alliance meeting. Always the overachiever, I'd decided to do both brownies and blondies but in a single sheet. It was blondies on one end, brownies on the other end and swirled together in the middle. It was a subtle nod to the idea that the LGBTQI+ community is made up of all races and ethnicities.

"Is there anything you can't do?" Lincoln asked. "This looks really professional."

"Don't ask me to dunk a basketball or put stuff on the top shelf, OK?"

Lincoln laughed. "OK, I promise. Your uncles say hi, by the way."

"How's that going, if it's OK to ask? Noah and Jermaine have been pretty quiet on that front."

"You know, you've gotta live your life with an open mind. I never, ever expected to wind up in a relationship like this. I've always been pretty traditional, if being gay and traditional is a thing, just one boyfriend at a time. I just never found the right one. But now I've found the right two. During the week, when I'm up here in Evanston, I'm looking forward to the weekend so we can all be together again. We all talk almost every night. It's great. I know I can trust you with this, right?"

"Absolutely! I've never even told Eddie or Tyler and I tell them everything. Darius knows but he doesn't go to school here and isn't going to tell anyone. I did tell Asher though."

Lincoln looked a little concerned.

"It's because he asked why you blush every time he wants to know how your weekend was. He swears he won't tell anyone. He thinks you're awesome and would never do anything to get you in trouble. And I trust him, so your secret's safe and I'm really happy for you. Should I be calling you `Uncle Lincoln' now?"

"It's a bit premature and I'm not that much older than you, so calling me `Uncle' would just be weird anyway. You better get going. I don't want you late for homeroom. See you in class later and at the Alliance meeting this afternoon."

***

"OK, everyone, let's get started. For those of you who don't know me, I'm Lincoln Choi. My pronouns are he/him/his and I teach chemistry and physics here at Evanston West. I'm the faculty advisor for this Gay-Straight Alliance chapter. It's amazing to see so many new people here.

"At this meeting, I want to talk about what it means to be an ally, but first I'd like to introduce you to someone who's new here at our school. His name is Asher Gold. I've asked Asher to tell his story today because it highlights how important being an ally is.

"Before I turn it over to Asher, I want to define what an ally is. Anyone want to volunteer?"

Two people raised their hands. Lincoln pointed to Ashley.

"An ally is someone who isn't a member of the LGBTQI+ community but actively supports it," she replied.

"That's right," Lincoln responded, "but that's only part of the story. While straight, cisgender allies are extremely important, I also wanted to point out that as members of the LGBTQI+ community, we can also be our own allies. Let me give you an example. You're a masculine-presenting, bi guy. You may be out, or not. You see a more feminine-presenting gay guy getting teased for how they dress. It's not violent. There are no physical threats but the kid getting teased is clearly uncomfortable. You walk over and tell the bully that what he's doing is wrong and to leave the other kid alone. You are an ally. Trans and non-binary people especially need allies within the community, even more so given today's political atmosphere. If you see a fellow student who is struggling and isolated because of their perceived sexual orientation or gender expression, or for any other reason for that matter, offering your friendship could literally save a life. It doesn't take much effort to be an ally but it can make all the difference in the world."

Brandon's hand shot up.

"Hey, Brandon. What's up?"

Brandon stood up and faced the classroom. He looked pained.

"My name's Brandon Grimes. My pronouns are he/him/his. I'm a former bully and reformed asshole."

The students laughed.

"No, really. I used to tease students who I thought were gay or trans. I said some awful things and made people miserable. I'm really sorry about that. But then my life changed and I found the strength to come out as gay. Instead of getting teased by some of the people who I'd bullied, they became my allies and my closest friends. I'm so much happier now. I have Eddie, Tyler, and especially Jaime to thank for that. I think what I'm trying to say is that most bullies are pretty unhappy themselves and that being an ally is an incredible thing to do."

"Thanks for sharing that, Brandon. Asher, are you ready?"

Asher nodded and stood up. He pulled a paper out of his pocket and as he spoke, only occasionally referred back to it.

"Hi, my name's Asher, and my pronouns are he/him/his. You may notice that I have a little bit of an accent. English isn't my first language. I spent my first fifteen years in an ultra-orthodox Jewish community in West Rogers Park. We spoke Yiddish at home. For anyone who doesn't know, Yiddish is a language that used to be spoken by Jews from Germany, and Central and Eastern Europe. It's still spoken in ultra-orthodox Jewish communities around the world and even here in the US. If you've ever seen men with beards wearing top hats, long coats, white shirts, and black pants they were probably Haredi, that's ultra-orthodox. In that community, being gay or trans is absolutely not accepted. But I had always felt loved and my parents always said how proud they were of me.

"Anyhow, last year in August, I tried coming out to my family. I got thrown out onto the streets with just a small backpack. I wound up in foster care with a kind, older couple who I had nothing in common with. I dressed different and I acted different from everyone else in my new school. I was completely lost. I was petrified to come out as gay but just from the way I dressed, everyone knew I was a Jew in a school that had none. I got teased and beaten up. My life was miserable. I even thought about killing myself. Then I heard about the Rainbow Center for the LGBTQI+ community and decided to go to a youth group meeting. The first couple of meetings were bad. No one wanted anything to do with me there either because I was really different from them, too. You have to realize that I'd never been to a school that had girls in it. I never listened to popular music or watched popular TV shows. I'd never played a video game. I was really lost. Then, at my third meeting, Mr. Choi brought a bunch of kids to volunteer to cook dinner for us. The food was really good, by the way. Thanks, Jaime! Instead of sitting with some of the kids from the Rainbow Center, I asked if I could sit with some of the people from Evanston West. Mr. Choi, Jaime, Ashley, Seán, and Connor all welcomed me and encouraged me to talk to them.

"Jaime and I exchanged emails. Yeah, I know, it's lame but I didn't even have a phone and didn't know how to use one anyway. Then Jaime here invited me for Thanksgiving. I'd never been to a Thanksgiving dinner before. By then, I was getting beaten up almost every day at school for being Jewish. Jaime knew my story and saw that I was in real trouble. His whole family, parents, and grandparents, offered me a hand and a new family to start my life over. That is what being an ally means to me--people who make an effort to help you, even if it doesn't get them anything back.

"I love being here. I have friends and I have a new family, but best of all, I have a new brother who is patient and funny and someone I can look up to, even if he is shorter than me. Jaime told me that he sometimes struggled with loving himself. He felt different and felt like he didn't fit in. But he's had allies who helped him. His family, and Eddie, Tyler, and Brandon, too, made him realize that being different is something to celebrate and not something to be ashamed of.

"Anyhow, what I'm trying to get at is that we should all take turns being allies for someone. Even the littlest thing can make all the difference. Thanks."

Applause rang out around the room...and quite a few sniffles as people fought back the tears while listening to Asher's story.

Lincoln walked over and gave Asher a hug, "That was an amazing story, Asher. Thanks for sharing it.

"Jaime, who's an amazing cook, as Asher said, made the sweets for today's meeting. Feel free to grab a brownie or a blondie or a `browndie' and walk up to someone you don't know and start a conversation. I want you upperclassmen to take the lead. Remember, you don't ask someone where they fit in within the LGBTQI+ community. If they're comfortable sharing that with you, then that person can volunteer it. You, of course, are free to share anything about yourself that you feel comfortable sharing."

"Browndie?" Tyler scoffed, "I was thinking `Blow-me' would get more takers."

"I'd definitely take two," Eddie laughed.

Asher walked over and gave me a hug. "Did I do OK?"

"You did amazing," I said, "Even if you did make fun of me."

"I didn't tell them that you're actually the tallest guy here...lying down," Asher laughed.

Eddie, Tyler and Brandon were laughing so hard that there were tears streaming down their faces.

Once they'd recovered enough, we all walked over to grab a snack. Asher headed off to chat with Ozzie, Bentley, and Reggie. After biting into a brownie, I noticed a kid sitting by himself off to the side of the room. He looked really uncomfortable. He was young, probably a 9^th grader, white, with big, sad brown eyes.

"Walk with me, guys," I motioned.

We headed over to the kid, who looked up as we approached.

"Hi, I'm Jaime. My pronouns are he/him/his and I'm gay. What's your name?"

The kid looked scared as hell.

"We don't bite," Tyler volunteered. "We just came to say hi. I'm Tyler, he/him/his. I'm Pan. And this is...

"Eddie. Same stuff as Tyler. He's my boyfriend."

"And I'm Brandon, but you probably already know that."

"I'm Ethan."

"Is it OK if we sit down and talk?" Eddie asked.

Ethan nodded hesitantly but didn't say anything.

"Did you like what you heard today?" I asked, not wanting to pry into Ethan's life.

"Yeah," Ethan responded.

"You look kind of nervous. Still wanna talk?" I asked.

Ethan took a deep breath and looked like he was about to try to lift a huge weight. "I'm gay," he whispered. "I've never told anyone before. Not even my best friends."

"We've all been where you are now," Tyler said. "Eddie and me have been together since we were thirteen and we were so scared that anyone would find out."

"I saw when you guys got outed," Ethan said. "It scared the shit out of me when I saw what you went through."

"Yeah, it wasn't easy, but, in the end, it was the best thing that could have ever happened," Eddie said. "It even made me realize that I needed to get some professional help for stuff that was going on in my head. I suddenly saw that there were people standing at the edges just waiting to help me but I'd never let them in. And you heard Asher's story, and Brandon's."

"I'm not sure I'm ready to tell anyone else, so please don't say anything, OK?"

"Only you can know when you're ready to come out," I said. "Here's my cell number. Feel free to text whenever you want to talk. I bet my brother would be happy to help, too, and he's still got two and a half years here. All four of us graduate in a few months."

"Do you have anything you want to ask us? Anything we can do to help you?" Brandon asked.

"Is something wrong with me? Is there something I can do to fix this?" Ethan asked softly, choking back a tear.

"You don't need to fix what's not broken, Ethan." Brandon said. "Trust me. I grew up with a dad that hated queer people. I never came out to him because I was sure he'd kill me if he knew. I thought I was a huge mistake and prayed that I could be straight. I finally realized that he was the one with the problem, not me. I'm exactly how I was meant to be. The sooner you accept that you are amazing just the way you are, the happier you'll be and people around you will notice it, too."

"Keep coming to these meetings. Talk to other kids here. You'll realize that there are a ton of kids just like you. You won't feel so alone. What do you like to do for fun?" I asked.

"I like skateboarding and video games," Ethan responded.

"See that kid over there, the one that looks like he just stepped out of a men's cologne ad? His name is Ricardo and he's bi. He's a great skateboarder. You should check out his social. Here, take a look. We helped him to come out online. No one had any idea he was into guys, too, but he said he was tired of hiding. I think he's even more popular now."

"Yeah, I see what you're talking about. Not ugly," Ethan smiled weakly.

"Let me go grab him," Tyler said. He turned and headed to the other side of the room.

"What are your folks like? You think they'd have a problem?" Brandon asked.

"I don't know. It's not something we've ever really talked about but my dad is like Mr. Athlete and is always pushing me into sports. He's always talking about how sports will turn me into a man."

"What about your friends?" I asked.

"I think they'd probably be OK with it but my two best friends are straight guys and I'm afraid about what would happen if they had a problem. We hang out together all the time. I don't want to lose them as friends."

"If they have a problem, then they're not really your friends, are they? Friends support each other. I bet you could find a lot of new friends here," Eddie said.

"Hey, dudes. What's up?" Ricardo said, looking imperfectly perfect, as usual, with his hair looking like he just woke up and the rest of him irresistibly hot.

"How are things going with your dad?" I asked.

"He's coming around. It was a little squirrely when I came out. You know what a jock that dude is, but he's trying at least. We'll get there," Ricardo said.

"This is Ethan. He's a freshman and really into skateboarding and I thought maybe you guys could talk for a while."

"Awesome. Sure. This way, Ethan. Later, dudes."

And with that, Ricardo led a clearly smitten Ethan over toward the brownies, already acting out without a skateboard some of his favorite moves.

We spent the next hour walking around talking to kids we didn't know about our coming out experiences and how we'd helped and supported each other. Then, I grabbed Asher, said goodbye to my friends and we headed out the door for the short walk home.

Asher looked pensive and not his usual talkative self.

"You OK?" I asked.

"Just thinking. If you told me a year ago that I'd be living with another family, not wearing a yarmulke, hanging with other queer kids, and eating bacon, I probably would have laughed, then died of shock. But here I am. It's just sometimes hard on my brain. Everything that tied me to my old world is gone. Sometimes it feels like one of those science fiction shows where the main character wakes up in an alternate universe. But I'll be OK. Every day now, I get to hang out with friends who think I'm cool just the way I am. And every night, I get to go home to a family that loves me. Anyway, I've got a ton of homework to do tonight and have that audition tomorrow and I've done enough thinking about myself for today."

"You did an amazing job of telling your story today. I'm really proud of you, you know."

Asher stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. He reached around and wrapped his arms around me. Despite the four layers of clothing that I was wearing to protect me from the February cold, I could swear that I felt his warmth.

"Yeah, I know," he said.

***

"The cast list should be posted tonight at 7:00 PM on the school website," Asher said, "I'm sooo nervous. I really hope I get a part. I had no idea that the people watching you audition would be so...hard to read."

"Well, it's 6:15. Dinner should be ready by 7:30. I'm making Great Grandma Esther's favorite Friday night roast chicken with potato kugel and tzimmes. There's apple cake for dessert. We wanted to make tonight special for you. It's to celebrate if you get a part and cheer you up if you don't. Mom and Dad have both promised to be home in the next forty-five minutes. Go back downstairs and get some homework done, OK?"

As promised, Dad walked through the door at 6:40 PM followed shortly thereafter by Mom at 6:50 PM.

"Asher, you wanna come up here and bring the laptop?" Mom asked. "We want to be there for you."

"I'll be right there."

Asher sat down and kept nervously refreshing the school's website. At 7:00 PM on the dot he said, "It's there. Let me click on the link."

His eyes went wide but he just sat there, not knowing what to say.

"Well???" I asked. "Are you going to make us beg?"

"I can't believe it," he replied softly. Then his voice raised an octave as he screamed out "I'm Evan Fucking Hanson!!!!"

We all screamed and jumped up and down. Then we enveloped Asher in a group hug, sharing the precise moment when a star was born.

End -- Tripod -- Chapter 42