Date: Sat, 15 Oct 2005 00:33:43 -0500 From: dragonknight2222@aol.com Subject: Tutoring the Football Jock #10 All the same disclaimers apply, there isn't any sex in this one. Like I said the story is becoming more romantic and serious than I anticipated, but maybe that's for the best. There's no sex in this one, sorry. As always enjoy. "You fucking fag!" Marcus threw me against a tree, pushing me into it by my shoulders, "I'm done trying to be nice," he screamed, "what the fuck is going on?" I just looked at him stunned, my mouth open and silent. We had been walking towards his house for about ten minutes. Taking a long slow route in utter silence. I was wrapped up in thoughts of Keith and our strange uninformative conversation. Marcus had let me brood like he always did when he knew something was wrong. He usually just waited for me to speak, letting me find the right words. Today, was the first time he had ever exploded at me so violently. I looked down at the grass unable to meet his piercing brown eyes. He cursed in Spanish at me. Then he lifted up my face with his hand, forcing our gazes to meet, "Dige me" he said in a much softer tone, "por favor." I still couldn't think of what to say, "Marcus I'm gay and in love with Keith, who just scared the crap out of me..." somehow that didn't sound right. "Alright, I'll try to guess. Is Keith forcing you to let him cheat off of you?" That somewhat snapped me back to reality. "No, why would you think that?" "Well, he got suspended for it last year, don't you remember?" "No." "Melvin Pierce, the short kid with glasses. Keith used to threaten him or something unless Melvin let Keith see his answers. Melvin finally cracked and told one of the history teachers. They compared the tests for the whole year and found their answers and scores were almost identical. Keith got suspended for a week." "Keith would never do that!" I yelled at Marcus, "would he?" I shoved Marcus hands off me. "What the fuck is your problem!" he shouted back. I looked at him angry and hurt and scared. "Fine," Marcus said, he turned and walked away, "adios gringo!" he emphasized the last word, gringo, trying to hurt me. He used to always call me hermano, or brother, gringo meant a white guy that didn't fit in with Hispanics, meaning he no longer considered me part of his family. I watched him go, each step he took made me want Keith more, I wanted my big strong lover to tell me it was all going to be okay. I needed that... "Marcus!" I called, "wait!" he kept walking and so I jogged to catch up to him. He kept walking forward fast paced ignoring me as I ran to keep up with him. "I'm sorry, look we need to talk, this will take awhile, but I'll tell you what's going on, at least as much as I know." He kept walking fast, thinking, I waited practically jogging to keep up. "Por favor, hermano," I stuck out my fist and waited another moment. Marcus finally relented and knocked down my fist with his own, I repeated the action to his. "Can you wait till we get to your house." He nodded, we were only a couple blocks away now. We made it the rest of the way in silence, both thinking. We immediately went into his room ignoring his siblings and mother, he was determined to find out what was wrong. I tossed down my back pack and sat in his computer chair, he sat on his bed facing me, waiting. I looked at the floor shaking, "oh my God, I'm going to tell him I'm gay, what if he hates me, what if he hurts me..." "Steven," his voice was calm and level and almost sweet. "Look, I've known you for years, whatever is going on you can tell me. You know I usually wait for you to tell me when something's wrong on your own, but not this. Something huge is happening to you and I'm worried. I can't wait for you on this one, you've gotta tell me what's going on okay. Whatever it is just say it..." He reached out his hand and placed it on my knee. I was shaking so hard now I felt as though I would fall out of the chair. "Marcus...I...I...You know how I've never had a girlfriend." He nodded, but his eyes revealed nothing about what was going on in his head. "Well, um...I'm always finding something wrong with the girls you try to hook me up with right?" he nodded again, "well the reason is because I've never really wanted a girlfriend." His brow furrowed a bit, "because I'd rather have a boyfriend...does that make sense." He stared at me a minute, unmoving as though I had just turned him to stone. "Marcus," I was shaking so bad I started to stutter, "I'm g-g-g-g-gay." A cacophony of silence descended. Time became a slug that I could feel crawling along my skin, making me shake even more. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, I stood and bolted for the door. I had to get away from him before he told me how much he hated me, how disgusting I was, where was Keith? I tore open the door but too late, Marcus hand came down on my shoulder. I tried to pull away but he was stronger than me. He pulled me back with his left hand slamming the door shut with his right. I feebly pulled away, but his right arm descended around my shoulders. He was going to wrestle me to the ground, strangle me, kill me. But the arm, though tight around my shoulders, was not painful. His left arm came around encircling me. "Its okay, Steven, its okay." I was shaking all over as he pulled me closer, hugging me tightly, like a brother. He continued to comfort me with his mantra, "its okay." I don't know how long we hugged but I remember finally just collapsing on the floor in front of him and clutching the carpet for support. He knealt down with me, finally pulling away and looking at me again. I looked into his eyes and saw them patiently waiting. Waiting for more of my story. "There's more," I said. He nodded, "Keith." And so I began the story, the story of me and Keith, of falling in love, of him fighting for me, our fights, our making up, our nights, everything poured out of me like a tub of strawberries and cream in my heart dumping over. When the subject of Keith was finally over we started going into me. My homosexuality, when did I know? Why didn't I tell him sooner? Did anybody else know(no)? I answered every question as best as I could. Then we went back to Keith. "...so he said something happened today. Something was wrong with him, I could tell. But he said we'd be alright and not to worry about it. Still I can't seem to stop worrying about it and tonight." "Tonight?" "After football practice, Keith is going to take me to a movie." Marcus sighed and leaned back. He had proved himself a good friend today. He had stayed attentive throughout the whole ordeal, listening more than anything else. Silence fell between us. After awhile, "you're sure you're okay about me?" I asked. "You being gay? It's totally cool. Remember Uncle Joe, he's gay too." "Really, I never would've guessed." "The family doesn't talk about it much, but we all know. I'm mad at you for not telling me sooner, although I guess I could've figured it out by now. You do kinda fit the profile." I smiled, "profile? I didn't kill anyone." He smiled back, "so when is your date?" "Sometime after seven." "Well, its showtime then, its seven fifteen." I looked at his watch amazed we had talked so long. "I gotta go, I gotta change, hijole what am I gonna wear, why didn't you tell me it was seven?" He smiled again, "definitely should've guessed." He walked me out of his house which smelled of supper. We stopped just outside of his door. "Good luck tonight Steven. If Keith gives you some really bad news your welcome to come over and talk about it. If I don't hear from you I'll assume the best, that you two are having wild gay sex all night." We laughed louder and longer than the joke called for. Something about the laugh made all the tension between us leave. I'd never tremble in front of him again. We were closer now, than ever before. "Come here vato," he hugged me again, tears were in my eyes as he whispered, "Siempre eres mi hermano." "You'll always be my brother too, Marcus." Just like that I left and ran home, the very incarnation of radiance and joy. Hope you enjoyed this one, sorry it took so long to get it out. I've been really busy and will probably stay so for awhile, but I'll write as soon as I can. Comments are always welcome at dragonknight2222@aol.com