Date: Mon, 22 Apr 2013 16:45:43 -0700
From: T J <330am12@gmail.com>
Subject: Woes of Love

And people think that the world will listen to them, wait for them.. earth
waits for nobody. When humans are gone, the world will go on, and so it
goes, that life will go on...

But it's hard to think about you and try not to remember.. You were
beautiful. Maybe you weren't beautiful to everyone. When you smiled; you
never showed your teeth, because you said that everyone had made fun of
your teeth. And you would always keep that sober, or solemn expression of
yours on and I'd ask you to smile... I remember more than I think you
remember. The way you loved to spend time outside where it was sunny
outside, and you'd throw your arms out and yell- "Hey! Come out here and
join me!" But I was stupid and preferred to stay inside instead. I would
pour over textbooks while you soaked up the sun.. and I was envious of you
spending more time with the sun than me.. maybe I wasn't bright enough.

Perhaps I was too foolish, immature to be somewhat of an equal companion.
But I was only seventeen and you were nineteen, a two year age difference.
Yet I hated those two years because I felt like we were solidly separated,
by a wall that would never be seen nor mentioned, because if I did mention
it- you'd deny it.

We would sit in your room and sometimes it felt like hours would pass. We
would listen to your favorite music. I never liked it, but now I often stop
at the record store and buy a copy of the vinyl, because I think of the
warm days in the bedroom; where you gave me love and I gave it in return.
You would help me with my homework of Romeo and Juliet, and I would laugh
and laugh.

Love is gentle, love is kind.. That's what everyone says. Nobody's been
closer to love than me, or so it feels, because love is far from kind.. it
hurts in a way that you've never been hurt before. Love is not a friend,
but something you must only be an audience to.. I loved love, I loathed
love... I stopped seeing you and you stopped seeing me. Girls became more
exciting to you and I don't know what I ever found interest in. My mind
tells me to move on but my heart still waits for you.

Maybe I was too dramatic but if I wanted to be dramatic I would've been in
a drama class.. but I can only speak the truth about you.. and I miss you.