"So you didn't sleep with him?" That was the first question Buch asked me after I told them how my first date with Armando had been.

"We didn't even kiss," I said. "And I'm not telling you anything about the date. Maybe later but for now you can know this: we had ice cream."

"Like regular ice cream or are you trying to say that you put ice cream in his crown jewels and then had to lick it off with your to..."

"Buch, he said they did nothing," Captain stopped him, holding Buch by the arm, and I mentally thanked him for it.

Buch sighed and turned towards me. "You really didn't put ice cream in his...?"

"I did not."

"Not even in his lips?"

"I did no... what? His lips?"

Captain, instead of stopping him, actually became interested in what he was saying. "An ice cream kiss? That actually sounds kinda romantic and hot at the same time."

"You haven't done an ice-cream kiss?" Buch looked at us, intrigued. "Not even you, Morgan? Oh my God, please, pause everything, get an ice cream and kiss someone. You really haven't tried it?"

"I have," Captain complained, suddenly mad but still hanging onto Buch's arm.

I shook my head `no'. "Me? Never, but... okay, I'll go on the list. Still. I didn't do any of that with Armando. We just had a nice, romantic date. You know, like in the movies."

Buch opened his mouth. I thought he was going to mock me but instead, he said: "I wish I was more like you," oddly enough, his words, usually spoken in a careless manner, sounded genuine for once, truthful. Even Captain looked at him with a strange face.

"More like me?" I ask, confused.

"So innocent," Buch replied. "And caring, sweet, cute..."

"Okay, enough with the lovey-dovey attitude, stop it," Captain interrupted him, suddenly turning towards me. "When are you going to see him next? I've never seen you fall for anyone like right now with Armando."

"I don't know, we haven't talked about having another date."

"Just make sure he doesn't back out," Captain advised me. What did he mean by that? Why would he back out? "Oh and, of course, if you are still dating him in a few weeks from now, invite him to the Halloween party. If you don't go, Buch won't go and I'll be alone there."

I rolled my eyes and nodded without thinking about it.

It turned out that my second date with Armando would take place the following Sunday. This time I agreed to go to the movies. It was an okay movie, nothing special or memorable but that was okay. What gave Armando major points in my book was his fifty-fifty approach.

After the movie, however, the real action started.

I don't like to admit it but part of me was jealous of Buch and Captain. They were my friends, yeah, but sometimes I wished I was more like them.

Buch dated or slept with at least one boy every two weeks, usually older guys. He was a master at using dating apps and he was also good at getting numbers from clients of the Japanese restaurant he worked at.

Captain was good too, just not as good. He usually dated one guy every two months. Sometimes two, sometimes none. Still, he usually didn't sleep with them although he had done it sometimes.

The Internet, dating apps, social networks, and even the old-fashioned "friend of a friend" seemed to work for them. They had all these tools to get to know people and I... well, I was lucky to have one guy interested in me every six months.

No, I wasn't ugly. Not a supermodel but not bad. However, the looks didn't matter. My problem was that I lacked confidence. I wasn't putting myself out there.

I was proud of myself when Armando approached us and chose to give his phone number to me instead of them. I was falling for him but, to be honest, I was afraid things might not last. What if Armando was like Buch and would run away if he knew I hadn't had sex yet? What if he was like Captain and had an amazing body and would leave me when he found out I was just average?

"Make sure he doesn't back out," Captain's words echoed in my mind.

That's why, after the film ended, my insecurities got the best of me and I said: "Hey, you want to go to my house? My mom isn't home."

Yeah, I'm not going to lie and say I invited him there just because I was insecure. Of course part of me wanted to kiss him passionately on my bed while undressing each other but it wasn't just that. Passion, desire, fear... they all contributed to why I decided to take him home. Plus, I wasn't dumb. I had chosen that cinema because it was near my house and that day my parents weren't home.

"To your house?" Armando asked. "That means I get to see your room?"

"Depends on how well you behave," I teased him.

Armando and I got to my house a few minutes later. Inside, I tried to put my keys on the key rack but they fell to the floor. Usually that's how I lost my keys, it tended to happen when I was nervous. Does this mean I'm nervous now?

After he came in, we went into the living room but, somehow, he took a wrong step and almost tripped on the hall. He is nervous too. That didn't make me feel better, though. I mean, how are you supposed to do those things? It's not like I can just lead him to my bed and take off his clothes without saying a word.

Armando had grown awfully quiet, he was staring out the window. I looked around me, thinking of something to say, something to do to drain the weirdness off the room.

"You want to drink something?" That was the stupidest question ever.

"Yeah, water?

"Sure," I went to the kitchen. Water? Water? Who drinks water these days? I know, healthy people. Actually, that's a very good sign in favor of Armando. It was official, my nerves were about to kill me.

When I gave him a glass full of water he drank it all in one go. Wow, he is nervous too. I refilled the glass and drank it all too. I wondered if we were nervous for the same reason.

"You want to see my room?" I asked next.

"Sure," and we both went up the stairs. The house wasn't big but since mom and I were the only ones living there, we had a lot of extra space to spare. Still, the path from the living room to the bottom of the stairs felt unimaginably short and monumentally eternal at the same time.

As soon as we got to the top, I got paralyzed. A new fear had taken root inside me: what if he doesn't like my room? A pretty stupid thing to worry about, but what if...? I wasn't a big fan of hanging posters or owning a lot of interesting things. It was just an old average room. I had my pictures of forests and lots of camping stuff, but aside from that... What if he thought I was boring?

I let him go first. He was looking all around the place, digging in every detail. He is definitively judging my room. I had no doubt now. What if he makes fun of my stuff? What if he finds something he doesn't like? What if he thinks I'm too boring and leaves? What if...?

He kissed me.

No, I'm not trying to shock you or anything, he really kissed me out of nowhere. Like, one moment I was standing there, drowning in my thoughts, and the next he just jumped into my lips.

I had kissed boys before, two to be exact. One at my 11th birthday party, just a small peck while hidden in the closet, looking for the presents. We never talked about it, then he moved. The second had been a year before Armando, on a date. He was a horrible person but I let him kiss me anyway. I just wanted someone to do it.

Yet, that resignation, that disappointment. None of that was when Armando kissed me. When he kissed me it was... different. It was warm, it was wet, and it took my breath away. He knew how to kiss. His mouth immediately surrounded my lower lip, pressing it with a delicate motion, squeezing the love out of me. He moved around my mouth, making me shiver.

But a kiss, oh a kiss is so much more than just lips. His hands went straight to my lower back, holding me, pulling me towards him, pushing my body against his as our mouths found each other.

Our breathing got heavier and heavier, he clearly knew what he was doing. As his lips moved, his hands did too, bringing me closer and closer to him, running his fingers through my back. Oh, God. There is nothing quite as good as kissing someone who knows how to kiss.

Then, just before he stepped away, I felt something in my lips. I thought it was his tongue but no, it was sharper, harder. It took me a second to realize his teeth were biting my lower lip. It wasn't hard but it wasn't a soft one either. It hurt just enough to make the pain blend into the pleasure, multiplying it. He bit my lip, pulling it before giving me one final peck and stepping away.

I was petrified, trembling. I couldn't move.

"That was..." My mind was blank, still recovering from what had just happened. "Wow, you... you are not a bad kisser, not bad at all."

That made him smile. God, he had the cutest smile. "Thanks, glad to know you are... satisfied."

Oh I was more than satisfied. I threw myself in his arms and kissed him again and again. Is that something people do on their second date? I didn't know but I didn't care and did it anyway. And so, I kissed him. Oh, Lord, I kissed him.

"You said your mom isn't home?" He managed to whisper.

"Uhum," I replied. My hands were dancing all over his body, exploring the back of his head, through his brown hair, pulling him to me.

Armando was holding my waist and -I don't know if he did it on purpose or if it just happened due to all the motion but- suddenly, my shirt had been slightly pulled up, his hands were directly over my skin, touching me. It felt amazing. It was like fire, his touch, his embrace. Nothing beats feeling someone else's skin touching yours.

A part of me was second-guessing. Are you sure? It said. Do you really want to do all this with him, so soon, on your second date? The lust said yes. My mind said no. And my heart, like all hearts, was confused.

I shrugged it off. I kissed him and Armando took care of the rest. His hands slid to my chest and started to unbutton my shirt, one button at a time. It was a melody, a soft ballad, and every time a note played, a button came off. Yet, when he was done, he didn't take my shirt off. Instead, he placed both of his palms on my torso. His hands were warm, my skin was cold, and the mixture drove me crazy.

He sat me down on my bed while, with a single motion, he took off his shirt. Then, with a pop, he unbuttoned his pants. He didn't take them off, he just unbuttoned them, giving me a brief peek at what was hiding underneath.

That image, that single frame right there... was glorious.

Just picture him: Armando, his olive skin, the curly brown hair, long on the top, short on the sides, the smooth face and chest, the lean torso, the eyes of a puppy, and the smile of a devil. I swear, my breath almost went away.

His face was serious, professional, every move was deliberate, every action was a conscious one. He pushed me onto the bed, letting his body fall over mine. When our chests touched, I felt the fire of every inch of his skin over me. I let my hands crawl inside his jeans, feeling the curves of his body, the softness of the fabric, the pulsating warmth of his bulge, still hidden, concealed.

We devoured each other on my bed, feeling up and taking every inch into the other's body, letting our souls melt into one.

I took his jeans, and slowly, softly, pulled them down until he stepped out of them. Some like to see a big throbbing member on their faces, some like to see the whole deal as soon as possible. Me? I liked mystery, I liked foreplay, I liked the lead up. And there, standing in his underwear, was my lead up. I could see all of Armando's body, just not that part, the middle, where through the fabric you could make out the outline of a long, thick pole, slowly moving inside, I could almost feel the heat from there. And, nicely, devilishly, impatiently... there was a tiny wet spot visible though the fabric at the very tip.

"Already wet?" I asked, playfully raising an eyebrow.

"It does that on its own," Armando excused himself, his face serious, pushing me harder against the bed. This time, however, his lips didn't aim at mine but at my neck. At first I thought it was weird but then every inch in my body started trembling. First with confusion, then with pleasure, finally with ecstasy.

"The fuck?" I asked out loud, my hands strongly grabbing the covers, pulling them. The neck, really? That's where my secret place was? Armando kept going, all the way under the chin, above the collarbone, sliding his tongue all through my skin, biting too, like a vampire.

Meanwhile, my hands went to my jeans, unbuttoning them, pushing them down until they left my feet. Now we were both in the minimum amount of clothing but just as I thought we were about to kiss again, he stopped and slid down the bed, his hand taking hold of my underwear, pushing it down.

A wave of insecurity threatened to get to me. It was the first time a boy, any boy, saw me naked. I wasn't precisely shy but I felt exposed, vulnerable. Yet, Armando didn't mention that fact. Instead, he found his face inches away from my boyhood. I raised my head, looking at the scene. He wasn't smiling, he was focused, his eyes stuck to my pulsating member, inches away.

He stayed for a moment like that, waiting, observing. I could feel the scene around me, the unusual heat in my typically chill bedroom, the strange familiarity of my house standing behind the figure of a boy, in my room, having sex with me. That made me smile. A boy in my room? Who knew that would ever happen.

Then, finally, Armando moved towards my shaft. I thought his mouth would taste me, engulfing all of my five inches. But right before his lips touched my skin, he stopped, opened his mouth, and let his breath fall over my boyhood. It was warm, and somehow chilly at the same time, it was tingling and exciting. It made me tremble and it made me oh so much hornier.

How can you describe the sheer amount of pleasure you feel when your dick enters someone's mouth? It was like jumping from a plane, diving through the sky, falling into a cold water pool, while fireworks exploded in the sky.

Soon, the feeling grew intense, too intense. I tried to control myself but the moans started to get out on their own, I was almost screaming out in pleasure. God, who would've said I would be so loud in bed? And, suddenly, I undesrtood why sex was always in everyone's head. Surprisingly, the feeling of Armando sucking me grew stronger and stronger, it was too much.

That's when I put my hand on his side and, with a little force, I pushed him to the bed, me rolling until I was above him. And yes, just like I thought:

"You look so much hotter like this," I said. And he did. There is nothing like having a boy semi-naked under you.

"You like it?" Armando turned his head, teasing me.

I pressed our bodies together as a reply, my hands grabbing his legs, raising them little by little. He was surprised by that move, probably because he thought he'd be the one raising my legs and not the other way around. Well, the world is full of surprises, isn't it?

With his legs in the air, I pushed down my body until I could feel the head of my boyhood touching the fabric of his underwear. Sofly at first but, suddenly, I pressed against his hole. Armando moaned almost instantly, even though the fabric, I could feel the heat, the tremble, his hole calling me, beggin me to be filled.

I did it, I thought then. My first time doing it and it isn't just some random encounter, it's with a boy I genuinely like, someone I can learn to love, this is special. I did it. The nun finally did it.

I pushed my body again, teasing him. I could feel his erect mast, still hidden, against my body. I throbbed against him, rubbing my dick over his hole, kissing him all the while. Until his eyes met mine and, as if speaking in thought... What is better than a semi-naked boy under you? A completely and utterly willing one.

My hands went down until they found the corners of his boxers when he suddenly stood up and backed away. My mind took a second to process what had happened. Not only had he stepped away from me, but now his face seemed different. Something had changed.

Armando crouched, took his shirt, and started putting it back on. I moved to the edge of the bed, confused. "Hey, is everything...?"

"I can't," he cut me. "I'm sorry, John. I can't." He wasn't even looking at me.

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay," I button my shirt. "We don't have to do anything, really. We can just watch a movie, order some food or..."

"Johnny," he stood up, fully dressed now. "I think I'd better go."

"Wait!" I jumped from the bed. "Don't go! We can do something else, we don't have to do it. Really, it's okay!"

Armando walked to the door before stopping for a second. He opened his mouth as if he was about to say something but in the end, he shook his head. "I really enjoyed our first date. Sorry."

I stood there, frozen in the middle of my room as I heard his footsteps as he was going down the stairs and, eventually, the front door closing.

I didn't move, I couldn't. My head remained blank for several seconds. A minute passed, then two. The house was in complete silence. Then I started laughing.

"Fuck," I spat at no one, fire coming out of my eyes. I was angry at no one, angry at the empty house, angry at myself. Told you, you were going too fast! Who does all that on the second date? You scared him off, idiot! Why do you have to make a big deal out of everything! My mind was merciless. What are Buch and Captain going to think? You can't even get laid with a guy!

I lay on my bed, screaming into the pillows.