Date: Sat, 13 Mar 2010 21:35:35 -0500
From: tommyhawk1@aol.com
Subject: The Courting of Maggie O'Shaughnessy

		   THE COURTING OF MAGGIE O'SHAUGHNESSY
			   By Tommyhawk1@AOL.COM
		      WWW.TOMMYHAWKSFANTASYWORLD.COM

     You want the story of your
great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother Maggie's courting, do you?
Well, that's a story well worth the telling and so I'll tell it to you
now. After all, this is Saint Patrick's Day and a day for us Irish
Americans to remember our heritage and our ancestors who now lie buried
back on the Emerald Isle.
     The year was 1843 and in that year, in the village of Crusheen in
County Clare, there was no more beautiful lass to be found than that of
your great-mother Maggie O'Shaughnessy. She had long, beautiful black hair,
a small, round face, with a sharp little nose and pursed lips that were
naturally rosy and begging to be kissed. She was a largish woman, but one
where the extra body to her only makes her more lovely to behold, with
breasts the size of honeydew melons and hips that made you dream of lying
between them. You can imagine that when she became of an age that a woman
thinks of getting herself married, she didn't have any lack of beaus to
choose from.
     But after a year of her dancing herself out every night until dawn,
Maggie discovered that her choices came down to just three men.
     First was Sean Callaghan, a strong brawny man who had grown up working
in his father's brewery. He could carry a 10-gallon beer keg under each arm
and never break a sweat doing it. His hair was curly black, his jaw was
square and bold, his eyes were as blue as finely tempered steel; his skin
was a tawny gold in color and that in the dead of winter when the sun
doesn't show its face once in a fortnight, his laugh was one that welled up
from his soul and could boom out across the lands and startle sheep a mile
away or more. Sean was to inherit his father's brewery when the time came,
that year was likely to be far off as the Elder Callaghan never sampled his
own wares other than professionally. But any lass that married Sean could
count on having plenty of coins to rub together whenever she might need to
rub coins.
     Second was Rorey Quinn, and he was taller and leaner than Sean, but
none the less as strong in his way. If Sean could lift more, Rorey could
lift it better and control it every step of the way to where he was taking
it. On his body, the muscles were longer and more ellipsoid than oval like
Sean's, but his face was the face that you see now five times the size of
life on movie screens, with dark brown hair, deeply liquid brown eyes, a
long but sharply regular nose over thin lips that covered a ready
smile. His fingers were extra long, and there were those that whispered
that his fingers were the only longer-than-average parts of his body, but
not that anyone had seen it that could be trusted in their descriptions, no
two of which were the same in their details. Rorey's father owned a
sizeable chunk of Crusheen and the lands about it, their rents would see to
it that Rorey's wife would never be wanting for food or drink or a place to
lay her weary head.
     And then there was Patrick O'Neill. Two inches shorter than Sean and
six shorter than Rorey, his face was pleasant but not so rugged as Sean's
nor as beautiful as Rorey's, but you didn't turn away with a grimace when
you saw it. His body was...well, a body like any man's, strong enough so
long as you didn't want to pick up a beer keg in one arm. His prospects
were less as well than the other two, as any inheritance he would get from
his father, who owned a small store in Crusheen, would be shared with his
two brothers. A woman who married him would have to roll up her sleeves and
turn to now and then, but she could expect a reasonably happy life so long
as she was willing to help out when needed.
     Which one was your great-to-the-sixth-grandfather? Listen to the
story, lad, and you'll find out. Now, Maggie was an honorable girl and when
she saw she had no choice but to choose or risk bloodshed, she brought all
three of them before her and she spoke only the plainest of truth.
     "It's come down to the three of you." she said, holding her proud head
erect and her bosom thrust forward in a way that drew all three men's eyes
to it. "And I won't be having any more quarrels about which one of you I am
to marry.
     Her proud eyes fixed upon Paddy O'Neill, and said, "I'm sorry to tell
you, Paddy, but of the three of you, you would be my third choice to
marry. I tell you this in all kindness and with much fondness in my heart,
but there it is and I won't have you eating your heart out over what you
think may have been, because it isn't, and never can be."
     Paddy was crushed by this, as you can imagine, but bore up under it
bravely. "Well, then, at least I can begin to looking about again with a
clear heart and mind." he said as gamely as he could, and rose to leave.
     "Please stay a moment longer, if you truly love me, Paddy." Maggie
said. "For it's your help in choosing that I'll be needing for my happiness
and if you can do this for me as a friend, I'll always make you welcome in
my home as a guest even long after your hair has all turned to gray or
fallen away, and the man I do marry will have to accept our friendship for
what it is, based upon our times together and to come."
     So Paddy, somewhat more at ease as you can imagine, took back his
seat, looking at the other two warily.
     "So it's between the two of you." Maggie went on to Sean and
Rorey. "And the truth to tell is, that when it comes down to every measure
a maiden can take of a man, you two come out dead-even. There's only one
more measure that I can think of that a woman should consider before she
takes a husband, and that is whether or not you're going to make me a
properly happy woman in the marriage bed. To put it so bluntly that a
priest would blush, I need to know which of you is the better at making
love."
     Two male mouths opened and her proud, dainty hand rose before either
of the two could speak. "I won't be hearing you sing your own praises." she
said. "For no man thinks he is anything but the very Emperor of lovers, and
I'm not volunteering my body and my maidenhead to find out the answer to
this quandary, so I'll be needing an impartial judge to report to me how
things are. That is why I have asked Paddy for his help. I won't ask
questions of any of you, either now or after I'm married, but the two of
you go with Paddy and among the three of you, figure out a way for him to
decide which of you will make me the better husband when we're lying
together on the mattresses, and that will be the man I will marry."
     A fly wanting to fly in a man's mouth would have had his choice of the
three suitors of Maggie O'Shaughnessy. After a time, Paddy closed his
pie-hole and swallowed, said, "This is a duty I shall take upon one
condition, that Sean and Rorey agree to let me determine the rules of the
test. I shall set up the contest and we'll see which of them can win the
day."
     "You're the best man I can imagine, Paddy O'Neill." Maggie said with a
smile that could make a man think of double-homicide. But the problem with
that was, where could you bury the bodies and not have them smelling up the
village?
     So he could only stand and say, "I'll take these two out and we'll get
you an answer by tomorrow, that's Saturday. Then the man who wins can ask
you one more time and you can say yes and Father O'Flaherty can read the
banns at Sunday morning Mass."
     They were scarcely outside Maggie's door when Sean burst out with his
more-than-ample voice. "Are you cracked in the head, Paddy? You expect me
to put on a show with some lass while you judge me on points? I won't be
doing it!"
     "And how do you plan to have an answer for her by tomorrow?" Rorey
added. "I don't know about you, but I don't know a single woman selling her
body in all of Crusheen."
     "And I'm not so sure but Maggie would forgive the man who is to be her
husband consorting with a soiled dove. I have to wonder if the true test is
for us to refuse to take the test, show our fidelity to her beyond any hope
of holding her."
     "If that were true," Paddy said ruefully, "Then I'm the front runner
here instead of in third and last place. But if either of you wishes to
test out the theory, please do so. I won't be forcing you to perform."
     Sean considered this, then shook his head. "I don't dare to risk
it. Very well, Paddy, I'll do my mattress bounce for you. But I don't
promise to be enjoying it."
     "If you're in this, I have to be as well." Rorey agreed. "Though I
still don't see what you plan that we can take care of tonight."
     "Just leave it to me. We'll take this to my house." Paddy said. "My
parents and brothers are visiting my grandpa over in Ennis and won't be
back until Monday. It'll all be over by then."
     "One way or another." Rorey agreed.
     The two contenders for Maggie O'Shaughnessy's hand followed Paddy into
the house and into the main bedroom, the one his parents used. To their
puzzled looks, he explained, "It's the biggest bed in the house."
     "So what are we to do for you?" Sean asked suspiciously. "Take off our
clothes and get our stovepipes steaming?"
     "That's a good place to start." Paddy agreed.
     To their astonished faces, he explained, "I have the task of figuring
out which one of you is the better lover. That means I have to watch you
having sex. Now be taking off your trousers and shirts and shoes, so I can
be starting the judging."
     What were Sean and Rorey to do, but commence with the unbuttoning and
unlacing. Maggie had placed Paddy in control here, if they wanted her hand,
they had to pass his inspection.
     When Sean stripped out of his drawers, he said, "Well, now I'm wearing
naught but what I was given by my mother at birth and I hope you're happy."
     "If that's all I'll be measuring myself against, I'd say this will all
be over in no time." Rorey was looking at Sean's manhood, which was a
shriveled shadow of its active self. Rorey lowered his own trousers and
undergarments together and the legendary prod was revealed. Even slack, it
was long and thick, a curving banana reaching halfway to his knee. The head
was partially covered with the foreskin, which was a grayish color.
     "Is that your organ or did the butcher drop a salami down your
trousers and it got stuck in your pubic hair?" Sean wanted to know.
     "It looks like, when you were in your mother, she wanted to make sure
that when you were born, your father would know he had a son." Paddy
breathed.
     Rorey just grinned. In the stare of the two other men, his cock jerked
and swelled, rose up slowly.
     Now, I'm not telling you Rorey was your great-father yet, am I? You
have to listen to the entire story here. I'm not giving anything away until
the end, no matter how much you beg. Silence, now, please! To continue...
     Sean breathed a sigh of relief, as he watched the dong raise slowly
upwards. "Ah, it's rising but it's not growing. One of those that are the
same in action and in respose."
     "I'll bet mine is still bigger than yours when it's ready for
stroking." Rorey retorted.
     "You think so!" Sean said, irked. He grabbed his own pud and began to
flog it rapidly. "We'll get mine up and you can compare." His cock rose
quickly, from a combination of anger and the familiar feel of his hand.
     "All right, you're both ready." Paddy said with the tone of a doctor,
or a man examining a horse he was thinking of buying. "Let me judge them."
He looked them over, and said, "Well, it's close all right, but I have to
give the honors to Rorey."
     Sean was upset by that. "I didn't think the test was to be who had the
bigger tool, but who wielded it the better. And if you want to see me in
action, then watch this!" Sean began to pump on his cock again, this time
making long, slow strokes up and down. Putting on a show.
     Not to be outdone, Rorey imitated him, and the pair of prongs made a
quiet, shlorping sound as the precome built up on their glans and was
squelched by the foreskins sliding back and forth.
     "What do you think of this?" panted Sean.
     "When it comes to pounding your own pud, you're the master." agreed
Paddy. "But unless Maggie is a girl that likes watching a man pleasuring
himself, I don't see it as much of a plus for her."
     "So what are you suggesting?"
     "I'm saying the only way to know how well you make love is to watch
you make love." Paddy declared.
     "There still aren't any lasses about." pointed out Rorey.
     "True." Paddy said. "So we'll have to use what we have."
     "And what do we have?" Sean demanded.
     "You have each other."
     "What?" Rorey got it first. "You expect me to take Sean in my arms and
hold and love him as if he were Maggie O'Shaughnessy?"
     "And why not?" Paddy asked. "The test will be to make the other reach
his pleasure. I figure what's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander
or, in this case, what will make Sean pop his cork will make Maggie swoon
in delight."
     The two naked men before Paddy struggled to find some flaw in this
plan of his, and failed. "All right, then." Sean said. "But I'm traveling
to Ennis to make my confession in the morning for sure. After I get Maggie
to say yes when I'm asking her the question."
     "You think you can make me squirt my life's seed before I can do
yours, do you?" Rorey asked incredulously. "If you think that, then you
can....ooh!" That last sound was because Sean had dropped to his knees and
promptly taken Rorey's cock into his mouth and was sucking on it like it
was the tube on a wine-skin.
     "Ooh, ooh, oh!" Rorey gasped. "What are you doing, man?"
     "I'd say he's pulling ahead in the contest." Paddy judged. "The first
man who wins the race for joy tonight is the man who loses tomorrow." And
as Rorey's hand went down to try to pull Sean's head from his crotch, he
added, "And you can't resist the other, no matter what they do. Maggie
won't be pushing her man away after they're married, so you can't do it,
either."
     " Tis a powerful lot of Hail Marys the father will be assigning me on
the morrow." Rorey sighed. "Well, then, if I can't fight him off, I'll have
to match him fair and square." And Rorey disengaged Sean by falling back to
lie on the bed, scooted over so that Sean had to crawl up on the bed to
resume his oral assault on Rorey's dong. And when he scarfed Rorey's prick
down once again, Rorey was around and promptly captured Sean's cock for his
own.
     Paddy had to move around to see the action but then he nodded. "A good
bit of skill you both are showing here." he said. "I'd say that when it
comes to pleasing Maggie with your mouth, you're going to both be
kings. But that's not the way to have little Roreys and little Seans
running about, now is it?"
     Sean lunged about and soon he was straddle of Rorey's chest, both huge
hands holding Rorey's head tight, and he was fucking Rorey's face without
letting the other do anything but hold on tight. Sean's tautly round, hairy
buns flexed and dimpled as he rammed his length into Rorey's mouth, Rorey
grunting but otherwise not complaining.
     "See how...well...I'm fucking...this mouth of his?" he gasped out to
Paddy. "That's how...I'll be...pleasing my...new wife...Maggie!"
     And Rorey surged in his own turn, and managed to bodily lift Sean up
from his kneeling position on his chest, causing the big man to slide down
his body, sending those dimpled cheeks of his right toward the long
scimitar of his spit-lubed dong.
     Sean grunted when the pud made contact, hitting inside the crease
between his buttocks but not doing more than that. "You won't be fucking
me, Rorey Quinn!" he snarled. " Tis I'll be a' doing you!"
     "You can trade off." Paddy intoned, the judge of the damned on his
bench. He was watching the two with a gimlet eye. "A man has to be able to
insert himself in his wife, and so you'll have to let him do so in
you. I'll hold my watch and when ten minutes have passed, I'll insist you
trade off."
     "Ten minutes with a man's tool in my nether box." mourned Sean. "It
won't be Hail Marys I'll be saying, it'll be entire boxes of rosaries."
     "But Maggie is worth it, isn't she?" asked Paddy cunningly.
     Sean growled, and his hand came back and steered Rorey right to the
rosebud of his lower door. "There you go, then." he said. "You be starting
your watch now, Patrick O'Neill, and mark the time well."
     Rorey lurched upwards and Sean threw his head back and hissed. "Ah,
but that's a cruel cross for a man to bear for love." he grunted. "I feel
like that's a battle mace you're shoving in me instead of that tiny little
dong of yours."
     Rorey shoved again and Sean gurgled, moaned. When Rorey rolled him
over to get Sean onto his back, Sean didn't do anything but raise his legs
up and clamp the hairy thighs around Rorey's body. His hands clutched at
Rorey's back. "Come on, then, Rorey, show me what you're offering the
beautiful Maggie O'Shaughnessy for her wedding night!" he grunted. "And
then I'll show you how pathetically little that is!"
     From the way Rorey's hips moved as he fucked Sean's ass, it was
obvious that he was pulling upon every trick of motion and angle that a man
can think of. Sean's hands were clamped upon Rorey's back now not in
aggression, but in desire. He moaned and grunted and thrashed in Rorey's
arms as his eyes closed tight and a grimace on his face showed and stayed
as his head tossed back and forth.
     "Ah, come on, Rorey, faster now, more of that sideways motion you were
using, ah, yeah, like that, and push it in at a little more of an upwards
angle when you dive in deep. Ah, yeah, uh, yeah, hell and fire and
damnation to all the saints, yeah, that's what'll make Maggie croon every
night if she picks you!"
     Paddy watched this joining of male bodies in an astonished awe, so
much that he had to look at his watch, look away, look again and said,
"Time, now, Rorey, you have to stop and let Sean plug you for a time. And
remember, the first man to squirt his load is the one who loses the
beautiful Maggie O'Shaughnessy!"
     "Now I have the chance to show you how to fuck a woman!" Sean grunted
as they changed positions. "Wait, first, let me sit on your chest and you
wet me up again, I've dried out while you were humping my ass like you were
digging for a pot of gold under a fairy's dancing circle. I won't be
ramming you dry here, that would make it more likely for me to lose entire,
you in pain and me with my cock throbbing in anger at being ignored the
last ten minutes here." And it was true that Sean's dick was jumping up and
down like a puppy trying to jump into its master's arms.
     Sean sat on Rorey's chest and Rorey slurped on him with an ardor that
left Sean gasping. "No, no, enough of that!" he groaned after a
time. "Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I'm feeling my balls boiling like a witch's
vat left too long on the fire! My only hope now is to fuck you well enough
to make you cream before I stir my milk into your chocolate tunnel."
     "Big talk for a little man." Rorey smirked. "Now be on to plugging my
ass and I'll win this bet in no time."
     Sean slid his cock into Rorey slow and smoothly. Rorey gasped as his
body was breached, and then his groans of pain turned into grunts of
passion. "There's the length of it in you." Sean said after a while. "And
you can begin to count the ten minutes, because here comes the fucking!"
     Rorey would have protested that the time he was being penetrated
should count against the ten minutes, most likely, but when Sean began to
bounce up and down on him, Rorey lost all power of speech and could only
moan helplessly.
     "Ah, yeah, that's the way Maggie will be doing every night when we're
married." Sean murmured to Rorey. "Feel it, feel how thick and hard and hot
it is inside of you?"
     "Yes, it's hard, so hard, yes, so hot, so hot, yeah!" Rorey groaned.
     "You like my pud in you, don't you, I...urk!" Sean cut off his
words. "Christ on his cross, you're milking at me!" he marveled. "How does
a man do that to...uh, uh, guh!" He moaned.
     Sean's big arms gripped Rorey tight and his powerful ass muscles
plowed Rorey with a vigor that said nothing of a desire to hold of orgasm
as long as possible. Indeed, watching the way the hairy bobbing butt was
pumping up and down, you would have thought that Sean was hurrying to
complete the act rather than prolong it.
     "Ah, ah, ah, gah, yeah, come on, Rorey, shoot your jizz on me, all
over me." Sean groaned. "Pump it on me and then I'll fill your ass full of
my seed. Yeah, come on, yeah, yeah, uh, uh, uh!"
     "Ah, ah, oh, God, oh, oh, God, I'm coming, I'm coming!"
     "Ah, AH-AH-AH-AH!" Sean's ass was a fury of white pumping orbs.
     "I'm coming, UH-HUH-UH, HUHN-HUNNNNNNHHHH!"
     "AH-AH-GUH-UHHHHHH!"
     "AH-AH-ah-ah! Ah-hah! Ah-hah! Ah-hah!"
     "Oh, ah, ah, oh, oh, ohhhh!"
     "Ahhhhhh!"
     "Ohhhhh!
     "Uh, huh, whoosh!"
     "Uh! Huh! Shuhhhh!"
     And Sean slumped down on Rorey's body, exhausted.
     Who do you think won, lad? Was it Rorey or Sean? I'm telling you the
story as it was told to me, word for word. Sean, you say? Well, listen to
the rest of the story and you'll find out.
     Paddy moved in to examine the evidence. "If I hadn't heard it with my
own ears, I would have guessed. Yes, I see." He examined first the
splatters of white goo on Sean's and Rorey's chests, then the puddle of
jizz dribbled onto the sheets from Rorey's ass. "Yes, I'd have to say the
two of you came at the very same time."
     "What are you saying?"
     "I'm saying it's a tie!"
     "It can't be a tie!" exploded Rorey, startling Sean. "I felt his spunk
hit my ass before I started squirting, I know I held off longer than he
did!"
     "Like fun you did!" Sean roared back. "I was groaning, but that was to
make you think I was coming when in fact, I didn't drop a single pearl of
my manhood before you were splashing me with enough spray to make me think
I was standing on a pier at the ocean during a storm!"
     "A tie! We can't have a tie!"
     "You have to make a choice." Sean demanded of Paddy. "Which one of us
won?"
     "I think..." Paddy said.
     "Yes?" Rorey was staring at Paddy as intensely and angrily as Sean.
     "I think...."
     "Spit it out, man!"
     "I think you should rest a wee, then go at it again." Paddy concluded.
     "Again?"
     "Certainly." Paddy said. "The second time around, you will both be in
better control of yourselves. Surely if the other is going to make you
shoot your load, he'll have a bigger chore of it, won't he?"
     There was nothing for the two to do but acquiesce and after an hour's
respite, they renewed their assault on each other. Paddy watched as these
two again managed to muddy the waters of climax once again with twin
orgasms, this time with Rorey plugging Sean's ass. And the third time, as
they sucked each other on and on (Paddy agreeing that he'd seen all the
ass-fucking he needed to see here and limited the contest to a simple
question of who would ejaculate first), they again were moaning together,
groaning together, creaming together, even though they had switched to
their hands on each other for the climaxes. Paddy watched them both.
     "Well." he said wearily. "I have made my selection and will inform
Maggie on the morrow. And now, I must be to my own bed. You two can leave
whenever it suits you."
     The evidence when Paddy awakened the next day was that they had stayed
until dawn, when they'd made themselves breakfast (a still-warm skillet
with scrambled-egg remnants speaking of this clearly) and cleared out.
     He dressed and went to Maggie O'Shaughnessy's house with a heavy
heart. That third time, he had seen it clearly. One of the men's cocks had
dribbled out come a little...just a very little...before the other. The
test was done and there was a winner, clear and true. The only thing left
was to tell Maggie.
     It was Rorey who won, you say? Are you sure? Well, then, I shouldn't
finish the story, should I?
     Who did Maggie O'Shaughnessy marry? She married your
great-to-the-sixth grandfather Paddy O'Neill, that's who! You see, Sean and
Rorey had gone to Maggie before Paddy got there and both told her that they
had decided not to marry her after all. What else could Maggie do but drop
back to her third choice, little Paddy O'Neill?
     So the two married and had a happy enough life, though Maggie had to
put on an apron and work in the store at times to help them make ends
meet. But they had four children and a long life together and nothing I've
heard makes me think she ever regretted settling for her third choice.
     Sean and Rorey became business partners, a store on Rorey's father's
land was converted into a pub, and Sean's family supplied them with the
best beer from their factory at a drastically lower cost than they sold it
to anyone else. The two lived together above the pub and were scarcely
apart after that.
     It was like great-father Paddy always said, "When I came up with the
contest, I expected them to both refuse to take the test at all, and then I
could declare them both the losers by default, and so win Maggie that
way. How was I to know that they'd discover they fancied each other
instead, even over the beautiful Maggie O'Shaughnessy? Still, I won after
all and so I guess I shouldn't complain.
     And the moral of the story is this...even when you're back in the pack
at a race, keep on doing your best. You never can tell just how the race is
going to end, you just may take the prize after all.

				  THE END
		   Comments, complaints or suggestions?
		  E-mail the Author at Tommyhawk1@AOL.COM
		      WWW.TOMMYHAWKSFANTASYWORLD.COM

     [POST-NOTE: I've looked at a map of Ireland and picked an actual small
town's name for the setting for this story and added the last names of
families that live in that general area to give this story a feel of
authenticity. But beyond that simple tip-of-the-hat to the Irish, I haven't
done any further research on the place, and you shouldn't take this story
as anything but fictional--if I've accidentally used anyone's actual
ancestors here, it's sheerly coincidental.]