I1950 started very well. Bruno was more and more affectionate and at one with me, and was making remarkable progress in his studies and general education. To the great satisfaction of its owner and staff, my newspaper enjoyed an increased circulation which, besides being gratifying for me, also gave me a salary increase.
Bruno found another job, still moonlighting, as an archivist for a notary, who was a friend of mine. What's curious is that it was not I who found him the job, he looked for and found it by himself; it was only later I discovered that I knew his employer.
Bruno seemed to me more and more handsome. This was due of course in part to the fact that I was in love with him, but also to the fact that both his body and soul were ripening. His body was becoming more mature, more firm, more manly; not that he was becoming more hairy, but more muscular and better-proportioned. He looked more virile, and this attracted me to him even more.
Moreover, as his culture and education were improving, he was also becoming more refined and elegant, and therefore more interesting than ever. I was increasingly able to enjoy an exchange of ideas with him. What I liked in him was that he sustained his points of view with intelligence - it was obvious that he was used to reflecting on things. All this made me love him more and more.
For a while now, he had been lavishing attentions upon me. In the morning he would slip out of bed, careful not to wake me up, get breakfast and bring it to me in bed, waking me up with a shower of light pecks. He also very much liked coming into the bathroom to help me to wash, under the shower or in the bath... and inevitably we ended up getting aroused and making love.
Everything was going well, until a letter arrived from my brother Carlo in England, in which he asked me if I could put up Alexander, his eldest son who was seventeen, for a month. I told Bruno I intended to say no - I didn't want to humiliate Bruno by banishing him from our home for a month. But Bruno said he would be happy to go and live in bed and breakfast, just for a month. We discussed it for a good while and finally reached a compromise: Bruno would sleep in the servant's flat, where we had made love the first few times. Alexander would sleep in the small guest room in the main apartment. I was not really convinced about this solution, but Bruno insisted so much that I finally gave in.
So, in April, my nephew came. He was a handsome boy, with sensual lips, long eyelashes, well-defined eyebrows and a rebellious mane on his forehead. He was a mixture of shy and relaxed, half way between a Latin and an Anglo-Saxon temperament. I remember thinking that, if he had not been my nephew and so young, and above all, if I hadn't had Bruno, I might even have had ideas about him. Bruno came with me to welcome him at the station. To my delight, they immediately showed an instinctive liking for each other, and as my nephew spoke Italian, they were soon getting on very well. So I prepared myself for the month ahead, hoping it would fly by as rapidly as possible.
As Bruno was studying English, I asked Alexander to give him a hand, and my nephew was happy to agree.
He had been with us for about a week, when something happened that I hadn't foreseen. Bruno had been sent out on some errands by the notary. As he had left his watch at home and was passing nearby, he thought he'd call in and get it. He entered by the service door and went upstairs to look for it, but couldn't find it. Thinking he might he have left it in the kitchen at breakfast, he went through into the apartment. Passing by the open door of the guest room, he witnessed a scene that left him agape. Alexander was lying completely naked on his bed, masturbating. Bruno felt upset and was about to leave when my nephew spotted him and called out to him. Bruno replied that he was in hurry, but Alexander insisted, continuing to move his hand up and down on his erect member.
So from the doorway, Bruno said him: "Cover yourself up! What do you want?"
Alexander said temptingly: "Come one, come over here. Don't you feel like a bit of fun? Am I not your type? Don't you fancy me?"
Bruno told him to forget it, but Alexander insisted: "Come on, Bruno, get undressed and come and join me!"
"Forget it, I said. I don't like that sort of things... You are nice, but..."
"Liar! You do it with uncle. So... why not with me? Look what a nice prick I have, and what a nice little ass - doesn't it just make your mouth water?"
Bruno, annoyed, repeated: "Forget it!" and was about to leave, though he was starting to feel aroused and attracted.
But Alexander jumped off his bed and grabbed Bruno by the arm, trying to stop him. Bruno wriggled free, and a brief struggle began. They fell to the floor. Alexander was holding him fast and touching him, until he managed to get his hand on Bruno's fly and felt that he was already aroused. Bruno tried to wriggle away, but he felt a powerful wave of heat suddenly sweep over his whole body, and started to kiss the boy and grope him with desire. Alexander took immediate advantage of this and started to unfasten Bruno's clothes, until was able to slip his hands inside Bruno's singlet. Shuddering at the touch of these warm, tapered hands on his skin, Bruno was fighting with himself to regain his self-control, when Alexander kissed him greedily. The boy's hand caressed his stomach then travelled lower, slipping inside his already half-open trousers. In confusion, Bruno was still thinking that he ought not to be allowing this to happen, that he had to stop the boy, but he felt all ablaze and his determination was rapidly deserting him. Then saw Alexander's head slipping down onto his belly, so he seized the boy's head with both hands, pushing it away from himself, and looked into Alex's face, searching for the words that would convince him to stop; the face seemed to him wonderful, bewitching, and he felt himself lost in the boy's luxurious eyes. Abandonning himself with a sigh, he closed his eyes and surrendered. Then Alexander freed him of his trousers and dived with his head between the strong thighs of a Bruno who was now no longer master of himself. While sucking him off, he skillfully finished undressing him. Soon they were a tangle of shuddering flesh moving with one rhythm, in a pressing yearning, broken only by moans and groans of pleasure.
When Alexander offered himself, Bruno took him with vigour. The boy seemed thrilled at the powerful assault, and welcomed him in with pleasure, thrusting against him and spurring him on. When at last they relaxed, panting, Alex told him that he'd really enjoyed it, and wanted to make love with him again in the days to come. Getting dressed, Bruno replied that it was not possible, that he didn't want to, that he absolutely could not, and that it had been wrong of him to give in even just this once.
Alex looked at him: "So you really are in love with my uncle!"
"What do you know about that?" Bruno answered, upset.
"Well... it's enough just to see the way you two look at each other. It's obvious you're lovers. Is it good fucking with uncle?"
"Sure, wonderful. But it's more than just that. Andrea loves me and I don't want to let him down. I ought not to have done it, I can't understand what happened to me..."
"But you did enjoy it with me, didn't you?"
"That makes no difference. We must never do it again."
"But I want to do it again. And with uncle too. He must have a great body... and a really nice tool."
Bruno finished dressing, feeling shaken: "Please, don't try anything. Don't spoil our relationship."
"I'm only staying here for another three weeks, then I'll be gone. I'm no threat to your relationship. But I do want to have fun. You'll see, it'll be great in a threesome..."
"Listen, Alex, why don't you look for a casual friend? If you want, I'll take you to places where you can easily find all the men you want..."
"But I want you... and uncle!"
"But I... I shouldn't have done it, even just this once."
"But you did do it, and you enjoyed my tight arse."
"Come on, stop it. Forget it." Bruno concluded and left the apartment, putting an end to a discussion that was getting nowhere.
Bruno came straight round to the newspaper to see me. All in one breath, he told me what had just happened. I was still trying to recover from the surprise when there was a knock at the door.
"Come in!"
It was Alex.
"I was sure I'd find you both here. Bruno's already told you everything, right, uncle?"
I nodded.
"So much the better. Listen, uncle, either you persuade him to let us try a threesome, or I'll tell everybody he's your lover and not your nephew, as I hear you've been saying. The choice is yours."
I looked at him nonplussed: "Are you trying to blackmail me?"
"If you want to put it like that... Bruno enjoyed fucking me, even if afterwards he tried to play repentant. And you'll see, you'll enjoy it too. I'm only seventeen, but I know what I'm doing. In London, my dormitory mates are queuing up to fuck with me..."
I looked at Bruno, then at Alex, bewildered. "Don't think you can throw your weight around with me, Alexander. I don't yield to blackmail. So you want to tell everyone that your uncle is a homosexual? Go ahead! But I won't let myself be manipulated by you."
"Just as you like, uncle..."
Then Bruno chipped in with: "Andrea, I don't want you to suffer because of me. I was wrong to give in. Perhaps it would be best if I get lost - I don't deserve you..."
"No, you're staying with me. I don't want to lose you, Bruno. But I don't want to give in to this spoilt brat's blackmail either. And now, my dear Alex, all you have to do is open that door and begin. But you'll get nothing out of Bruno and me."
Alex made for the door. My heart leapt, but I was determined not to yield, whatever the price. But he locked the door and pocketed the key. Then he turned with a sly smile on his lips and without a word, started to undress.
"What the hell are you doing? What's got into you now?" I almost shouted.
Alex didn't answer, but finished undressing and started caressing his body in a sensual way, to tease himself, until he got a full erection. Bruno and I were looking at him, amazed. It was the first time I'd seen Alexander naked, and I must admit he really was a gorgeous boy... and I started to get aroused. I looked across to Bruno and saw that he was looking at Alex in fascination, and was biting his lower lip - he was aroused too.
"Get dressed, Alex, stop being silly." I said dryly.
"No, YOU get undressed..." he said provocatively.
I stood up, went to pick up his clothes and handed them to him: "Stop it, get yourself dressed!"
"No, not until you promise me that tonight at home we can have a threesome."
"Listen, we'll talk about this at home tonight. Now get dressed immediately!"
Alex, satisfied, smiled and got dressed. He unlocked the door again and said: "I'll be waiting for you at home, hunks..." and left.
Once I was alone with Bruno, I looked at him: "You're aroused, aren't you?"
He nodded, feeling terribly ashamed.
"You've nothing to be ashamed off. I'm aroused too. If he hadn't stopped... I can understand how you were unable to resist him, Love. He is an extremely sensual boy. Is he good at making love?"
"Yes... very..."
"And would you like to do it with him again?"
"But I have you! I don't want anyone else. I did wrong, but..."
"But if you didn't have me? Would you do it again?"
"Well... to be honest... I think so."
An idea was forming in my mind: "Listen, Bruno - we both got turned on immediately, just seeing him naked... we both feel attracted by him. And it's already a week that we haven't been able to make love... and I need you. I really need you."
So saying, I embraced, kissed and started to caress him. He shuddered, clinging to me and then parting from me, smiling tenderly, murmured,: "God, Andrea, stop it or I'll get undressed here too... Let's see each other at home... As he knows, we can make love now, can't we?"
"But Alex is at home too, and you know what he wants."
"Would you like a threesome?" he asked.
"I only want to make love with you." I answered.
"But you fancy Alex, you said."
"Not as much as I fancy you, at any rate. Even if I do fancy him, you are my Love."
"But you do fancy him."
"Are you jealous?"
"Are you?"
"Am I what?"
"I made love with him. Are you jealous?"
"It doesn't matter. Do you love me?"
"I love you, you know that."
"So then, why should I be jealous? But what about you?"
"I don't know... perhaps. If we had a threesome, I possibly wouldn't be jealous. But if I knew you were with someone else, I would feel bad. Though it's certainly not for me to say such a thing, after doing what I just did."
"Do you want us to give it a try?"
"Perhaps. But what if it doesn't work?"
"Then we'll tell Alex really to forget it."
"But... what if you liked Alex more than me? Would you tell me to forget it?" he asked, extremely serious.
"Don't talk nonsense, silly boy! Nothing in the world could ever make me leave you."
"Really? Not even if you found somebody better than me?"
"Not even if it was Adonis himself, and not even if he was the most intelligent, or likeable, or the most... anything. And not even if he made love a thousand times better than you - though that would be very difficult. I love you, Bruno, I love you and only you."
Bruno smiled: "Then... shall we try the threesome?"
"Let's try it!"
When I got back home that evening, I found Alex already naked in my bed: "Come on, uncle... I've been waiting for you."
"No, I'm waiting for Bruno."
"So then, you really are in love!"
"Yes. Does that seems so strange to you?"
"Well... a bit. I've never fallen in love. To me fucking is just great fun, end of story."
"You are only seventeen."
"What about you, uncle? When did you fall in love for the first time?"
"I was fourteen."
"How did it happen? Do you feel like telling me?"
I started to tell. Alex listened to me attentively, absorbed. Finally Bruno arrived. He came to me at once and kissed me on the mouth. I returned his kiss and our hands hurried to undress each other, as always. When we were completely naked, Alex came near us - we'd almost forgotten about him. We included him into our embrace. It was an odd sensation for me, feeling at the same time my nephew's fresh and provocative body and Bruno's firm, strong one. To feel all those hands and mouths searching me, almost vying with each other to give me pleasure. Our limbs intertwined untiringly, inextricable. The two boys seemed to be competing to please me...
When at last we had all reached the peak of pleasure, Alex gave us a kiss on our lips, got out of bed and said with a wink: "See you later, lovebirds. I'll leave you two alone for a bit. I'll get our supper."
Once he had left, Bruno and I embraced tenderly. "Bruno... you enjoyed it, didn't you?"
"Yes. But now we're on our own at last."
"Love... you enjoyed taking Alex, didn't you?"
"Yes..."
"Then why have you never done it with me?"
"But you're older than me, like I am with Alex."
"Does that matter? I really would like you to take me."
"But why? We don't need that. For me it's good the way we've always done it."
"Because I want it. And because this way we will be equals in everything. Wouldn't you try with me, at least once?"
"If you really want it, Love, after supper I'll try..."
"Promise?"
"Promise!"
"Now you can stay and sleep with me as well, can't you? There's no need for you to sleep in the other room any more."
"Right. But, listen, I just had an idea - next time we have a threesome, we can make Alex climax quickly, so we can get rid of him and can carry on alone..."
"That's an idea! Why not?"
"It is fun with Alex, but I'm only interested in you. I want to be with you, with you alone, like now..."
"Me too, Love."
We kissed and caressed each other tenderly for a long while, until Alex called that supper was ready. After supper we all went out for a stroll.
Back home, to our surprise, Alex said: "Right, I'm going to hit the sack. Have fun, boys!"
Once in bed, we started making love immediately, full of mutual desire. When Bruno finally took me, I felt utterly happy. He made me his own with youthful impetuosity, and I loved looking at his rapt face. He was a real stallion in heat, and I liked that very much. Then he wanted to swap roles. At last we fell asleep, happily resting against each other.
In the days that followed we adopted the strategy with Alex we'd planned, and it all worked wonderfully. All the more so, as my nephew became aware and finally came to accept that we preferred doing it alone.
Alex wanted to know all about my life, my previous experiences, and he listened to me carefully, asking me a thousand questions.
"But you, uncle, if you were in love with somebody, you'd never cheat on him?"
"No, almost never. I just don't ever feel the need to, the desire. If I'm in love, and if my man loves me, I don't need anything else."
"So you believe in fidelity/"
"No, it isn't that I believe in it. What I mean is, I'm not faithful because I ought to be, but just because I'm in love. Faithfulness is not a value, it's a need you feel. On the other hand, I'm convinced that if either I or my man had an affair, as far as I'm concerned it wouldn't threaten our relationship at all."
"But... do you believe that one relationship can last a whole lifetime?"
"If there are no external obstacles, and if the two really love each other, it's certainly possible."
"To look at you two... it must be great having a steady lover, someone who really loves you."
"And whom you really love."
"Sure. I hope I'll find someone like that one day..."
"Does your family know about you?"
"That'd be the end! They'd never understand. They've never known about you either, have they?"
"No, though it's a pity. I've always felt as if I was wearing a mask, and with the people I most cared for. Your father brought your mother home, then they married and your Mum became part of the family. That was never possible for me, and never will be."
"Well, you can't help it. It's not our fault if they don't understand. There's nothing we can do about it. Sure, it would be great to have a knowing and understanding mother like your English lover's. And a father like that too..."
The month passed, Alexander went back to England. We often wrote to each other, and one day he informed me that he was in love with a school mate, and that his love was returned. I wrote back that I was glad to hear the news. He was able write to me in a clear, explicit way, but I had to be careful so that his parents would not understand, if they should read my letters.
Bruno was continuing his studies seriously and with determination, and with my help he was learning rapidly. Now his studies were becoming more advanced, I found him private teachers for those subjects where I felt less qualified. He would easily have been ready to pass the middle school final exams by the end of 1949, without any problem; but as he was still under-age, he couldn't sit them. He decided to continue with his studies anyway, wanting to learn the subjects of the classical high school. So I enrolled him in a private night school, not officially recognized, where they didn't ask for documents. Here, in '50-'51 he studied the syllabus of the first and second years of high school, covering the two years in one.
1951 passed well too. In the Summer Alex came to Florence again and was our guest for a month. This time there was no problem, as he came with his boyfriend, another eighteen-year-old English boy. We put them up in the servant's flat, where there was a king size bed.
Bruno was now twenty - just one more year and he would finally be of age. He was still working at my friend the notary's and was happy in his job. The notary asked Bruno what he would like to go on to study after high school. Bruno answered that he wasn't yet sure, but would possibly like to study architecture. I liked the idea, so started to buy books and monographs for him about the history of architecture, and about great architects, past and present.
Things were as good as they could have been between Bruno and me, we loved each other more and more. As time passed, instead of dropping into a routine or being tired, we felt increasingly at one and were getting on well together, which made me feel serene and happy. I would tell myself that I had at last found the companion of my life.
Then again, at times I was gripped by a kind of fear: even though they had all been splendid, all my previous relationships had ended. What would happen this time? I tried to drive this disquieting thought away.
At the beginning of '52 I had a serious car accident and was in hospital for two months. Bruno came to visit me every day. I wondered how he could manage for such a long period without physical relations. It was difficult enough for me...
When I asked him, he looked at me almost if he couldn't understand: "If you can do without, so can I!"
"Yes, but it's really hard for me. And I don't have any choice in the matter."
"It is for me too, Love. But we just have to wait. Don't worry, we'll make up for it, and with interest!"
"If you had an affair, I would understand..."
"Don't talk nonsense! Do you think I'm not able to do without a fuck? I've got more self-control than that! And then... there is always the old good system of... doing it by yourself."
"Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you."
"I know. You are always so dear. But I'm not interested in anybody else, get that into your head. When I ran away from home, I was almost desperate. And when I was hustling I felt so... I was ashamed of myself. Then I met you. At first I was scared, you know, because I liked you too much. I didn't want to fall in love, because when everything is too beautiful, you're afraid of having to go back into the darkness. But I couldn't not fall in love with you. And now I feel so happy, I feel like a new man. The other one before was just the ugly duckling. Thanks to you a new life began for me. Thanks to you I discovered the beauty of culture, of education - but above all I discovered the beauty of love. Will I ever be able to thank you enough?"
"It'll be enough for you just to love me. There could be no better thank-you."
Finally I was discharged from the hospital. We picked up our life together again, happier than ever. And we made up abundantly for those two lost months.
1953 arrived. The month of May came, and with it, Bruno's twenty-first birthday. We celebrated the event. The first he did was to the General Registry Office to register his residence at our home, and to get new identity papers at last. Then he hurried to enrol for the high school final exams, so that in July he would be able to get the classical high school leaving certificate. He was as happy as a little child. And when I went with him to enrol at the university, he was almost dancing for joy.
"I'm born again, at last!" he exclaimed, thrilled.
Everything was going full steam ahead, and being together was more and more beautiful. We discovered with relief that the problem of his National Service had miraculously been resolved - his contingent was over-manned, so Bruno's service had been officially discharged; hence there was no comeback for the fact that he'd failed to turn up at the appointed time at army district HQ, since he'd been hiding from his family.
Almost as if to assert his long-awaited freedom, we also added his name to mine on the nameplate for the door and letter-box.
Bruno often brought university pals home to study together, or went to one of their places. They were likeable youths, and I was glad that Bruno could finally meet people of his age freely, without any worry.
Right from the start, he passed his tests rather well - I was proud of him and shared his happiness.
In 1955 we celebrated the sixth year of our life together and I gave him a small runabout as a present.
But I was unaware that there was something slowly brewing, something that was to deeply mark our lives.