A day, a letter came to the Cardinal from Rome, with the request to make propositions for the appointment of a new Bishop. The Cardinal immediately thought about Don Marco, then recalled Don Caselli's prophecy. So, to test that prophecy, he sent the three requested names, excluding the name of Don Marco, to Rome. He had three very good Priests to propose, the Cardinal thought. Anyway Don Marco was still too young, even if the prophecy said that he would become Bishop at the tender age of twenty-seven.
The Cardinal had just sent his letter to Rome, when news came that the war had broken out in Europe. His Eminence was very impressed by the fulfilment of Don Caselli's prophecy. It was a short war that produced many damages and without real winners or losers and that just slightly modified the previous borders. Another message came from Rome. Possibly because of the war, the Cardinal's letter never arrived in Rome. Therefore they were waiting for a new letter proposing the three requested names. The Cardinal, then, sent a new letter, with the same three names that were on the first letter.
An envoy of the Pontiff, travelled from Rome to see the Cardinal, concerning the list of names he submitted for consideration to become Bishop. From the four Bishops of the bordering dioceses, other lists of names were submitted. In all the four lists there was the name of a certain Don Marco Deregibus, he being a Priest of the Cardinal's diocese. This was rather unusual, so Rome wanted to know why the Cardinal didn't insert his name in the list sent to Rome. Did he think that this Priest was not worthy of the consecration to Bishop?
The Cardinal answered that, in his opinion, Don Marco was surely one of the most worthy and deserving Priests. Yet, as he was still so young and moreover his work in the diocese was so precious, he thought not to include him in his list. So, the Cardinal was requesting the Pontiff, through his envoy, to leave Don Deregibus in his diocese. The prelate decided to carry out an inquiry. First he went to Roccasella, then on to the University to gather witnesses and finally to the Parish to meet personally with Don Marco, without telling him the real reason for his visit.
Then the envoy went back to Rome. One month later the Cardinal received the news that His Holiness, after considering the inquiry results, had decided to have Don Marco Deregibus ordained Bishop. His Holiness gave the charge to carry out the rite to the Cardinal and to the four Bishops that had proposed him. The Cardinal was moved because Don Sergio Caselli's prophecy came to pass and he personally went to the rectory to meet Don Marco.
The young Priest was preparing a sermon from the Gospel, "Eminence, come in, please, come in!" he said, surprised for the Cardinal's unforeseen visit.
"How are you, Don Marco?"
"Thanks to God, I am fine."
"Do you feel strong? Are you not too tired?"
"A little, Eminence, but not too much."
"You see, I have to give you a news that, if I know you well, will rather shake you."
"Please tell me," the Priest said, a little tense.
"Well, I have just received a letter from Rome. The Holy Father charges me to tell you that you have been chosen to be consecrated Bishop."
"What? Who, I? Is this a joke?" the Priest merrily said. The Cardinal handed him an envelope with the Pontiff's seal and his expression changed, "You are not... you were not joking, then." he said almost in a whisper.
"Now why would I do that? At my age and with the purple I have on my clothes." the Cardinal kindly said to him. So Don Marco opened the envelope and read the appointment with disbelieving eyes.
"My Lord. Oh, my Lord!" Don Marco exclaimed. He then prostrated himself on the floor, lying down completely and said, "I am not worthy. You know it. I am not worthy of that."
"Stand up, Don Marco. His Holiness believes you are worthy, four Bishops believe you are worthy, and I think you are worthy. Even the good Don Sergio Caselli, just before leaving us. He professed to me, amongst other things that you would be consecrated Bishop by the age of twenty-seven. What more do you need?"
"Don Sergio worshipped me. You let him influence you." Don Marco moaned.
"On the contrary. Even thinking that you are the most worthy Priest in my diocese to become a Bishop, exactly not to be influenced by that prophecy, I didn't send your name to Rome, but it has been useless. You must accept, Don Marco. I beg you with all my heart. We need Bishops like you."
"Bishop, I? But, Eminence, you perfectly know what my problem is. You do..."
"Shush! Silence, enough. I know and our Lord knows. Our Lord wants you amongst his apostles. God, with his finger, wrote your name on the sand..."
"With his finger?" Don Marco murmured while the Cardinal forced him to stand upright. With tears filling up his eye, Don Marco picked up the papers and handed them to the Cardinal and said, "Isn't it funny? Please, read what I was writing before you arrived, Eminence."
The Cardinal read the sermon and smiled: "What do you think if, with some slight changes, you did this sermon on the day of your consecration? It seems it was made right for that occasion."
"But I am not worthy..." Don Marco again, weakly, protested.
"If you asked His Holiness the Pope, do you think he believes he himself to be worthy? No, I'm sure he doesn't. I am not perfect either. You aren't either. When our Lord selected his Apostles, who did He choose? Unworthy people! A stubborn man! A simpleton! Incredulous men, quarrelsome, mean. Frightened people, who sold Him, denied Him, deserted Him... Until He sent them His Spirit. And He will send you too His Spirit, with the consecration rite. I know and I am certain, that you will welcome It in you. Therefore, how much unworthy you can feel, you have to accept. I will not go out from here, until you have accepted!"
Don Marco lightly smiled, "You make me want not to accept, just to force you to remain here with me. Oh, sorry, I didn't intend to be disrespectful to you." he seriously concluded.
"You are a witty man! I'm afraid you will even be able to do that, but I beg you not to. Anyway, please always conserve your good humour and your simplicity. So?"
"What can I say? I am really frightened, but, with the Lord's help... fiat voluntas Domini!"
Don Marco that night couldn't sleep. And yet, he was thinking, he still was in love with Beniamino. But possibly, right that love could shelter him from falling in love again, from other temptations.
"You, Lord, are able to obtain good even from our make mistakes. Now, Your Church wants me Bishop. God, my God! Did You think well about that? ? Not to lack of respect to You, you know that, but... what kind of joke is that? Anyway, if You really want me to be a Bishop, help me to be a good one. I will do my best but where I cannot arrive, please, patch it up."
At the consecration ceremony held at the Cathedral, there were civil authorities, university academics in their gown and mortar board, university students, all the seminary at the great complete and common people. Even a delegation from Roccasella. Don Marco searched the crowd, but couldn't spot Beniamino. He didn't know if it was better that way or not. After the ceremony, there was a party at the Cardinal residence. Here, Maestro Riccardo greeted the new Bishop, "Excellency, what a pleasure to meet you again!"
"It makes me feel so strange being called Excellency, wearing this violet soutane and the golden cross at my neck. How are you, Maestro?"
"Fine, thank you."
"What news from the village?"
"Your work is carried out skilfully, but we missed you."
"And... Beniamino?"
"He is no more in our village. He left last Spring. The last time I saw him, he was fine, serene and cheerful. But I don't know where he went. I can no longer fulfil the promise I gave you."
"He is now nineteen, almost twenty years old. He will be able to take care of himself. Thank you, anyway."
Monsignor Marco took up his new diocese. A small diocese amongst the hills, amongst simple people and in the city seat of the episcopacy there was also a small but ancient university. He liked it. Just, now, his "first parishioners" how he liked to call them, were the Priests. With his usual style, Monsignor Marco went often to visit them, besides his personal care of the University and his active interest in the seminary.
At the beginning of his ministry, Don Marco met some difficulties and was mistrusted, because of his young age. Yet he soon won the liking and the esteem of all the clergy and of the people, with his fascination, his simplicity, his frankness, his deep faith and doctrine but above all the charge of love that emanated from him. His sermons were quite simple but very deep. They continued to inspire more and more people, from the most humble people to the intellectuals.
Each night, when he went to bed, he prayed for Beniamino, and each morning, when he celebrated mass, he prayed for the boy and for the people of Roccasella as he had promised.
Late one evening, just a little over one year into his Diocese, his secretary informed him that the University Chaplain was waiting to see him.
"Certainly, certainly, ask him to enter." Monsignor said, happy to see the young Don Matteo. When the Priest entered, he went towards him with a wide smile, "So, Don Matteo, what brings you to me at such a late hour?"
"Monsignor, please forgive me but... I could not wait until tomorrow."
"Is it so a serious matter?" the Bishop asked, making the young Priest sit in front of him.
"Yes. I do not know where to start, but..." said the young man, fidgeting.
"Well, tell me, I'm listening. What does trouble you?"
"I, Monsignor... I... I have sinned! Heavily sinned!"
"Who is without sin?" the Bishop asked with a smile.
"Monsignor, but I..."
"Would you like to confess to me?" the Bishop gently asked.
"Yes, possibly also, later. But I don't want to seal your decision under the confession's secret."
Marco recalled a similar sentence he did say to the Cardinal many years before, and felt sympathy for the visibly shaken young Priest.
"Good, as you wish. I'm listening to you. But I want you to know that I'm not listening to you as your superior, but as a father, even if little years divide us. Like a brother, like a friend, and that I have for you esteem and respect."
"Will you still have esteem and respect for me, when you will know? But, it is useless to beat about the bush. I did heavily sin with a young university student, a boy..."
"I see. You mean you had a sexual intercourse with this boy?"
"Yes."
"What is this boy to you? Does he have the same feelings towards to you?"
"We... you could not possibly understand, Monsignor, you could possibly not admit that, but we... we are in love for each other."
"You are in love?"
"Yes, Monsignor."
"Are you both sure about that?"
"Yes, Monsignor."
"I see. How long has this been going on?"
"Nine and a half months. Yet today, for the first time... we had physical intercourse."
"So, was it beautiful?" the Bishop asked gently.
Don Matteo raised his eyes. Until then he had kept staring at his own hands tightly intertwined on his lap. He looked in amazement at the Bishop and said, "Beautiful?"
"Yes, beautiful. Would you do it again, if there was the occasion?" the Bishop asked with tender trepidation.
"Oh, Monsignor! I would like to tell you no, but I would do it again. I know that it is a sin, but I would do it again, you see? With him, I would do it again. I cannot, I really cannot refuse his love, and neither what I feel for him. My God! Forgive me, Monsignor, but..."
"You simply told me what you feel, what you think, right Don Matteo?"
"Yes, Monsignor."
"Before falling in love with him, did you feel attracted by others?"
"No, never. I was quiet and very shy. Until I met him... it happened little by little, reciprocally. When we realised what we felt, we tried not to give up to our desires, both of us, honestly. But..."
"Yes, I can understand. And now, what do you think to do? You did a wow..."
"That I violated. And above all, with a man."
"That you violated. If you repent, you know that, the Lord is ready to forgive you. If you want to commit yourself and try (I'm saying to try, not to succeed) to avoid a new fall. But you have to make a choice, between your wow and him. What is more important to you? Are you able to understand it?"
"Monsignor, I... I don't want to renounce him. I cannot. We really love each other, greatly."
"You therefore ask me to untie you from your wow? Are you asking to leave the Priesthood?"
"With pain, Monsignor, but it is so. I cannot have my foot in two stirrups."
"I understand. You are right. But, I would like you to think about your choice a little more. The fact just happened, you are still shaken. Think thoroughly, then come back to me and tell me what you really want."
"Monsignor, he is waiting for me outside on the street. Do you see what that means?"
"Certainly I understand. Then, you both have to think well on the problem."
"Both of us?"
"You and him, certainly. If you love him so much to have doubts you will be able to abide to the wow you did, you have to take your decision with him. Because, you see, giving to him your love, also physical, you are now responsible to him. If instead you were sure you wanted to be faithful to your wow, I would ask you to decide alone."
"Monsignor, asking you to be untied by my wow, living with him I would anyway, I would live in mortal sin."
"Don Matteo, if the Holy Office knew what I'm going to tell you, they would possibly ask the Holy Father to excommunicate me. They would turn to the civil authorities and ask for me to be put into prison. I don't know, but... You see... I am persuaded that love, a real, true love, deep, total, without egoism, could never ever, you see, be occasion of a mortal sin."
"That is... you are saying that..."
"Therefore, think over your love. If it is a giving love, well... 'Ama et fac quod vis', but if it is just a concupiscence love, then, try to reform yourselves."
"Quod vis! Even if it is with someone of the same sex?" the young Priest asked, amazed.
"This is my opinion, in all conscience. If I am wrong, then will the responsibility fall on me. Try to think about it seriously and come back to tell me what is your decision. Now, without your need to repeat all over again, if you want we can consider all you said as your confession."
Don Matteo went back one week later and asked for the dispensation from his wows and for the reduction to the lay state. He and his boyfriend had decided to move elsewhere together, to look for work and to continue to give each other reciprocal love. The Bishop accepted the request. He wanted to meet the university student and, after reducing the young Priest to the lay state, gave them his benediction.
"May God always assist and accompany you, my sons. I bless you, Matteo and Ugo."
When the two young men departed, Monsignor Marco went into his private chapel, prostrated in front of the big crucifix and prayed.
"Lord, I hope I did right... I think I did right, but if on the contrary I was wrong, I ask You that the consequences of their sins fall on me and not onto them. You know that, even if I choose You, I am still in love with Beniamino. Matteo preferred Ugo, it is true, but not because he didn't love You. You know that. But I ask You, Why life has to be so difficult? Why it is not possible to love You and at the same time a human being? Why did you establish marriage just for people of a different gender? Why does love burn in the hearts of two persons of the same gender, if that was evil? Why does Your Church teach so? I can't understand all that, in conscience, Lord. I can't understand. Yes, yes, I perfectly know the theories of the theologians, but they don't persuade me at all. Will the day come when Your Church will be ready to welcome amongst its saints whoever loves, without distinction of gender, as Paul wrote? Or I could not make head or tail of it? And yet, I would like to understand. Certainly, I don't dare to preach against the teaching of Your Church. I don't want to became the scandal stone. I don't want to trouble the simple souls. But I cannot avoid to say what I feel right inside my conscience, to the pained souls. Lord, if what I said and will say in such occasion was wrong, let me understand it, or rather, call me to you..."