Date: Mon, 23 Aug 2010 08:44:15 +0200
From: A.K. <andrej@andrejkoymasky.com>
Subject: The Secret Memories of Lord Moriesson 09/20 (historical and encounters)

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THE SECRET MEMORIES OF LORD MORIESSON
By Andrej Koymasky © 2010
Written on July 27, 2002
Translated by the Author
English text kindly revised by Brian

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USUAL DISCLAIMER

"THE SECRET MEMORIES OF LORD MORIESSON" is a gay story, with some parts
containing graphic scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land,
religion, family, opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be
better not to read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU
don't care, or because you think you really want to read it, please be
my welcomed guest.

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Chapter 9 - How I was chased away for having finally dared to love

When I was twenty-four I met Alfred, a youth one year older than me,
born in the colonies. He was an itinerant actor, touring the colonies
with his troupe. They stopped to perform in our little theatre for three
months, and on their playbill there were both modern plays by modern
authors I didn't know, and also Shakespearean dramas that, I have to
say, they performed in a decorous way.

But I didn't meet Alfred in the theatre. The first time we met, he
stopped me in the street. He was wearing mustard coloured quite tight
breeches decorated with ribbons under the knee, a wide white shirt with
a square collar rimmed with lace, and a light green jacket quilted with
dark green threads. He had a low brown felt hat adorned with white
feathers on the left.

"Forgive me, sir, are you a Providence resident?" he asked me with a
well pitched voice, a courteous tone and greeted me with an elegant
gesture.

"Yes, I have been living here for about three years. May I help you in
some way?" I asked studying him and thinking that I liked this young
man.

"It was said that the bank is in the surrounding area, but I am not able
to find it. Could you kindly show me the way?"

"Willingly. Come, I am going in that direction. You are new here in
Providence, I presume. Are you passing by or thinking to settle here?"

"I just got here. I am a member of an itinerant actors' troupe, the
troupe of William Ingoldsby, and we have a contract for our shows with
your theatre for three months."

"My name is also William, but William Moriesson. And you?"

"My name is Alfred Parnell. How old are youÉ if my question is not
tactless?"

"Not at allÉ twenty-four."

"Ah, just one year less than me. I thought you were youngerÉ"

"Where are you staying?" I asked feeling increasingly attracted by this
handsome young man.

"At the Iron Cock InnÉ"

It was a not expensive inn that I knew well, standing just two blocks
away from my brother Aldous' warehouse.

"Ah, and do you like an iron cock?" I asked him, asking myself if the
actor also knew the usage of that word that was at time used with the
meaning of "penis".

"Sincerely, sir, I like much more a meat cockÉ it is moreÉ agreeable and
tasty." he answered looking at me with a merry expression.

"I fully agree with youÉ especially the cock filled with creamÉ" I then
added in a cunning tone, returning his glance.

"Oh yes, a very good recipeÉ and I adore the creamÉ"

"If you had some free time, I would then like to offer you a generous
tasting. Just to make you appreciate the hospitality of our town." I
said then pushing further on that spicy word play.

"I would be delighted, sir, really delighted. Do you possibly know a
place were we could taste it in all quietness?"

"You have only to accept being my guest and I willÉ cook it in the best
of ways. I have a secret recipe to make also an excellentÉ whipped
cream. And to do to a turn a young cock."

"And will you share with me your secret, William? I would like to
compare my cooking knowledge with yours. I guess you also know how to
hang a cock until it is high and then how to put it in an oven, don't
you?"

"Of course. I am not a really skilled cook, to tell the truth, but when
it is about cocks to hang and to put in ovens, I can assure you that few
people can boast being more skilled than me."

"You are making my mouth water, William. When could we devote ourselves
to this special kind of cookery art, then?" he asked.

"This evening around seven, Alfred, could you arrange that? I can come
to fetch you at your inn with my buggy, to bring you to my place."

"Yes, this evening we don't have rehearsal, therefore it would be just
perfectÉ But in the following days it would be much more convenient for
me in the morningÉ as I ardently hope that there will be a follow up toÉ
to the tasting you are so kindly offering me."

"I too hope so. Anyway this evening we will see if my skills as a cook
please you, and if I would like yoursÉ"

I went to fetch him. He had changed his clothes. He was now wearing a
complete outfit in various nuances of light blue that showed off his
long and soft light brown hair - he wore short trousers and a short
bolero jacket striped with yellow braids from which a white shirt came
out in puffs with a square collar, but without laces, and he wore yellow
leather shoes with blue bows.

He sat near me on my buggy.

"I hope I didn't make you wait too long, William."

"No, even though I waited for this moment all day long."

"You are gallantÉ" he whispered lightly laying a hand on my thigh. I
quivered at that touch. "I too did nothing but think of theÉ feast
awaiting us, do you know?"

"I am glad. I hope not to disappoint you."

"I really doubt you willÉ And if instead of just a cock I could also
taste a stallion, or a young bull, I think I would really enjoy itÉ" he
said me with a warm voice vibrating with anticipation.

I smiled and said, allusive, "For you, I will make ready all the best,
and take care you will sate yourÉ hunger."

"And my thirstÉ" he added with a smile.

We finally reached my house. I left my buggy to Tom and lead Alfred to
the second floor, to my room.

Sem saw us come in, guessed why I was taking my guest there and, with a
bow, asked me, "Do you need anything, master?"

"No, Sem. You can go to the slaves shed."

"Yes, master." the boy said and quick and nimble went away.

I bade Alfred enter in my sleeping room and said, "Here we are, finally
in the dining room!"

"I see that the table is already laid, WilliamÉ we have only to put on
it the courses of our feastÉ"

I turned towards him and started to untie his clothes and he did the
same to me, with bright eyes.

When we were both naked, he stepped back a little and looked at me up
and down with the expression of a real connoisseur and of deep
appreciation, "YesÉ you are really well built and handsome, and your
cock is exactly what I hoped I could taste."

He moved to my bed and sat on its edge, his legs out and well spread,
pulled me to him cupping my buttocks with his hands and opened his
mouth, taking my already well-hard rod completely inside his mouth. Then
with his hands he moved me in a going and coming rhythm so that I fucked
his mouth deeply. I then put my hands to the sides of his head and threw
myself into a good ride, while he skilfully moved his tongue against my
pole, and once in a while looked at me from below, in the eyes, to spy
my reactions.

When he felt I was aroused to the right point, he went onto his knees on
my bed, squatting and jutting out his bottom, turned his head to look at
me with an inviting smile and said, "Now that it is duly hung high, put
it into the ovenÉ and I will duly bake itÉ"

I seized him at his waist andÉ put it into his oven.

"YesÉ soÉ Stronger now, William, you promised me also a stallion and a
bullÉ made them go wild, then!"

That young man had the power to really get me aroused, therefore I set
off in an unbridled gallop taking him with all the vigour of my green
years. He moaned in pleasure, spurred me, and tossed under me with
consummate skill whetting all my sensations, leading me literally to
seventh heaven. He was pushing against me, he lightly tossed his pelvis,
he made his bottom's muscles throb and with a low and hot voice,
terribly excited, he was going on uttering short moans and words of
appreciation.

After a long and really pleasurable ride, I unloaded inside him with a
vigour that left me almost breathless. For some moments we both remained
still, then he emitted a long sigh.

Turning his head to look at me, he said in a hesitant tone, "I'm afraid
I wet all over your bed with my cream, WilliamÉ you gave me such an
intense pleasure that I was not able to control myselfÉ"

I slowly pulled out of him. He got off the bed, turned to face me and
kissed me with heat and passion.

"Will you forgive me?" he asked me in a low voice.

"If you want to be forgiven, Alfred, swear that in these three months
you will stay in Providence, you will come to see me every day!" I said.

He smiled, pleased, "Never has such an oath been extorted with such
easiness, I assure you. I will come to knock at your door every morningÉ
if you will knock at my back door as you just did. MoreoverÉ I didn't
yet have the pleasure of tasting your famous whipped creamÉ Promise me
you will let me taste it, in the next days."

"I promise you!" I said.

We again strongly and deeply kissed, then dressed again. I called Tom
and ordered him to take Alfred back to his inn, and also told him to go
back the following morning early to get him, to bring him to me, and
later, after we had our breakfast together, I would personally take the
handsome Alfred back downtown.

So we met almost every morning, and we enjoyed each other in our
pleasure. I also asked him to "put his young cock into the oven" for me
and Alfred did it, and I enjoyed it, but the young actor told me he
liked better for him to "bake" mine.

He told me he discovered rather late he preferred men to women, that is
when he was eighteen. He went to fish not far from his father's farm,
when he caught two young Indian warriors who were merrily playing with
each other's penis. Made curious, he started to spy on them. When the
two young Indians saw him, they ran after him until they caught him.
They had immobilized, bared him, then put him between them, penetrating
him from both endsÉ So Alfred discovered that he liked much more this
kind of sexual union than doing it with girls, then after that day he
didn't search any more.

He told me that in his opinion Indians are absolutely not uncivilized
and cruel people as the colonists says and that, as he became friend
with those two young warriors, he spent much time in their camp and got
fascinated by their civilizationÉ as well as by their way to have sex
with him.

But the day finally came when the actors left, and we had to say
farewell to each other. He promised me he would come and look for me if
by chance he came again to Providence. But in reality I never had any
more news about him.

Aldous was, in Providence, a much respected and revered person, both
because he was the son of an English Peer, and because in spite of his
young age he owned a flourishing trading company. He therefore often
received invitations from the most conspicuous families of the State and
on those occasions he unfailingly took me with him to the parties.

It was so that, during a party at the residence of the governor, I met
his third son, Francis, a sixteen-year-old boy, who just came back from
England where he studied up to then.

We were in 1676 and I was twenty-five years old. My servant and friend
Sean had had his first son, Lukas, and he was as happy and proud as I
ever saw him before. I gave him a nice present on the occasion of the
christening of his first born, and he asked me to be his godfather, what
I willingly accepted.

But let's go back to Francis. He was a really elegant boy, he brought a
nice wardrobe from England therefore he was dressed in the latest
fashion. He looked more than his sixteen years, as he was tall and well
shaped, moreover he used to spend much of his time fencing, swimming and
riding, and this had strengthened him and gave him a great nimbleness a
beautiful shape to his body. He had soft blond hair long to his
shoulders, and eyes the colour of aquamarine. Nature had endowed him
with soft and beautiful lips, and a perfect noseÉ in short looking at
him was something more than agreeable.

But I noticed that his face and his eyes seemed to be always veiled by a
sense of sadness. During the parties given by his father, he assumed a
careless and mundane air that was anyway unable to fool me. The damsels
made sweet eyes at him, as besides being really a beautiful boy and also
of an aristocratic family, his father was remarkably rich - the boy
would soon be what is usually said to be a "good catch".

It was May, and I had been invited to one of the parties that his father
threw almost every month with the most different pretexts - for a
birthday, to welcome an important visitor from another colony or from
England, to celebrate the birthday of our king Charles IIÉ in spite of
the open liking of our king for the Roman Catholic ChurchÉ

I was in the residence garden, sitting on a bench under a cherry tree,
and was lazily observing a group of sparrows who were hopping and
pecking away on the lawn. I didn't hear Francis come. But all of a
sudden his voice came behind me and made me almost give a start.

"Do you like sparrows, Lord Moriesson?" he asked me.

I turned to look at him, "Yes, very much, as I think they are the most
enchanting little birds in the world."

"The colonies' sparrows are slightly different from those we have in
England." he said walking around the bench and stopping in front of me.
"Because they come from Italy, I was told."

"How much I adore them, I never get to observe them with so much careÉ"
I said to him with a smile.

"I didÉ Don't you miss England?" he asked me then added, in a lower
tone, "May I sit near you?"

"Of courseÉ and this is your houseÉ please. No, I don't miss England, I
feel really fine here."

"The sparrow is a small bird and quite shy, and yet it is always merry.
It doesn't wear showy colours, it doesn't sing in a sublime way, it
doesn't fly with elegant evolutionsÉ and yet it has a natural, lively
elegance that enchants me. The sparrow has its children in this monthÉ I
often think I would like so much being a sparrow, do you know?"

"To have your children too, Francis?" I asked him with a light irony.

He looked at me surprised, "No. I don't want to sire children. What is
the sense to give birth to a new human being and then to offer him just
a life filled with sadness?"

"Not everybody in this world is sad, FrancisÉ although you seem to beÉ
and I often asked myself why you are. You have everything. What do you
miss then so much to make you always feel so sad?"

"It shows so much? I deceived myself thinking I was able to hide it
sufficiently. I have everything you are right, all the material things
one can reasonably desire to have."

"What do you miss, then?"

"Affection. My mother is always so busy in her charitable deeds that she
forgets she has us, her children; my father is always so taken up in
politics, he forgets us tooÉ At least in Oxford I had good friendsÉ but
hereÉ not even them."

"Friends? It is not so difficult to get them, especially for a person of
your social status."

"People that see in me just a means for their social climbing? Or who
see in me just a person with his purse always well filled with money and
whose purse-strings are easy to open? OrÉ If I were a sparrow, at least,
nobody would look at me only for my exterior qualities, can you
understand? A sparrow, as well as the son of a common shop-keeperÉ can
you understand me?"

"I love sparrowsÉ and if you were a sparrow, Francis, I would be surely
aware of youÉ as I became aware of you since you came here to
Providence. Aware of you in spite of the lively colours you wear, in
spite of your noble family, in spite of the elegance of your gaitÉ In my
eyes you areÉ a wonderful little sparrow."

He looked at me almost as if he wanted to read beyond my words then,
after a short silence, he said, "I believe you, Lord MoriessonÉ May I
call you William? Yes, I believe you are sincere. And if I really were a
sparrow, I would come onto your hand without any fear."

"And I would welcome you with respect and tenderness, believe me; as
well as with admiration, because I would be able to see beyond your
external aspect. Do you want to be my friend, Francis, notwithstanding I
am older than you?"

He emitted a long and slow sigh, then said, "I thank youÉ but you
possibly don't know how, or could not, or would not give me what I
really needÉ"

"What makes you think so? Wouldn't it be worth to give it at least a
try?" I said.

Before proceeding in my narration I have to make clear that, although
that boy appealed very much to me, my proposal didn't have any second
aim; to be more explicit, I wasn't thinking at all that I would have
liked having him in my bedÉ

Francis looked at me and for a moment a hard, determined, almost
aggressive light passed through his beautiful eyes. Then it was replaced
but that usual veil of sadness, that so much struck me.

"WilliamÉ in Oxford I had a friend who gave me really all I could need.
I was happy, in those days, I assure you. It is not easy to find such
friends andÉ it could be dangerous looking for oneÉ"

"Dangerous?" I asked without understanding. "Why do you say it could be
dangerous? Because to set up a real, deep friendship one has to totally
open to the other? With me, I pray you to believe me, you would never
run even the least dangerÉ"

"No danger, you say? Well, if just for the sake of an example I told you
that I am a murderer, wouldn't you report me?"

"Never, I swear!" I said impulsively and, I don't know why, in fact in
that moment I certainly didn't think that it was his real problem, I
added, "Not even if you revealed to me that you are a sodomite, I would
never report it to any living soul!"

He had a sad smile, "Well, you hit the mark. The friend to whom I was
referringÉ was my secret lover."

On impulse I hugged him, tight against my chest. Then, fearing that
other people could see us, I let him go and looked around - no there was
nobody in sight.

I then said to him, "If this is your secret, if the fact that you can't
have a lover, to have been separated from your friend makes you so sadÉ
well, you have to know that you are not at all alone, FrancisÉ I too am
a lover of my same sex. I too miss having somebody who accepts my love
and who gives me his love. Therefore, you seeÉ you are not at all
alone."

He looked at me almost unbelieving, then nodded, "Are we therefore two
poor sparrows?"

"No, we are two wonderful sparrows, my friend."

That day the conversation ended, as other people came into the garden
and we had to change the subject. But Francis thought for a long time
about our conversation, and one day he came to look for me at the office
of my brother's store and asked me if we could take a walk to the port.
I asked Aldous if I could be excused for a while and, getting his leave,
I went out with Francis.

"WilliamÉ I want to become your boyfriend!" he said in a whisper as soon
as we were on the street, without looking at me.

I felt like a bang in my heart. I quickly asked myself what I was really
feeling for himÉ and a voice whispered inside my heart thatÉ yes, I was
close to falling in love with him! But another voice told me to be
careful, to behave like an adult, responsible person. Not so much for
myself, but to not risk harming that wounded soul even more.

"Francis, I am flattered by your offerÉ But reflect, I am nine years
older than youÉ"

"Are they so important?" he asked me, this time looking at me and I read
entreaty in his eyes.

"They could be. A close friendship between two people so far away in
their age would be looked at asÉ weirdÉ suspectÉ I am afraid. It would
be different if we were of the same or almost the same age."

"WilliamÉ I need youÉ I need your supportÉ I need your affectionÉ I need
your love, and the love you could give me also in aÉ physical way!"

"Were you in love with your Oxford friend? And was he in love with you?"

"YesÉ ours was true love, and so strong and beautiful that we showed it
to each other with our entire bodyÉ"

"And do you think that this could happen also between us?"

"You told me you need itÉ and I too am feeling that same need. You told
me you like me, and I too like you. We are two sparrows, WilliamÉ we are
two sparrows in an barnyard filled with cats and dogs, with horses and
pigs, with ducks and turkeysÉ if we don't help each other between usÉ if
we don't find love between sparrows, WilliamÉ what else remains for us
to do? I beseech youÉ"

His heartfelt insistence, with which he went on trying to overcome my
resistance, moved me deeply and I felt I was in love with that boy, with
that little, lost sparrow.

"Francis," I said to him then, "if you want to accept my love, I am
ready to give it to youÉ with all my heart, all my soul, and all my
body. If you want to be mine, well, I will be yours."

Francis looked at me and tears trembled in his eyes. With just a hint of
voice he murmured, "Thank you, William. I too am entirely yours!"

So our intimate and wonderful relationship began. The first time we
could finally be alone, in full intimacy in my room, and we could make
love, it was something so sweet, so beautiful that still its memory
doesn't abandon me.

Alfred was hot, Sem was remissive; Francis was at once the one and the
other, the best of each of them, as he filled me with his love.

Francis bloomed again, went back being a lively, merry boy full of joy
of life. His sweetness and his passion moved me deeply. Yes, I totally,
completely, deeply, hopelessly fell in love with him, and I would have
given my life for him, without the least hesitation. I think that it was
the first time in my life when I felt really and totally in love.

But unhappily happiness seems to arouse more suspicion than sadness,
friendship more fears than solitude. Moreover love is like a lighthouse
that, even if the fog or a cloud tries to hide its light, has the only
result to diffuse it and make it even more visible.

So, Francis' father started to have serious doubts, and from doubt he
passed to suspicion, and did so much, in great secret as especially men
devoted to politics are able to do, that he finally came to understand
the real nature of the bond that began between his son and me.

So one day, while we were only embracing each other, wearing all our
clothes in perfect order, just for the pleasure of feeling each the
warmth and the affection of the other, some men of the governor caught
us. The wrath of the man fell on us.

Francis, with the pride characteristic of a young man and of a lover,
not only didn't deny, but confirmed his father's suspicions, believing,
or trying so, to defend the beauty and the honesty of our mutual love.

The governor summoned my brother and ordered him, to avoid a scandal
that would have anyway involved also his family and his "good name", and
to avoid for me a trial for sodomy and an almost certain sentence of
death, to put me as soon as possible onto a ship leaving for England,
ordering me to never again set foot in the American colonies, and
especially in the territory of Rhode Island.

I uselessly beseeched Aldous to let me at least try to meet Francis one
last time, or to allow me to send him just a message - my brother was
clearly scared of the violent reaction of the governor. He therefore
made me prepare my luggage and found passage for me on the first ship
sailing for England.

Sean, with his wife and child, determined not to abandon me, asked me to
take them with me to England. I felt grateful to my servant and friend
for his loyalty and for his choice. I therefore paid for a passage for
them on my same ship, for him and his family. I asked Aldous not to sell
my slaves but to keep them with him, especially the young Sem who, in
his way, had also served me with much devotion. My brother promised me
he would do so.

Before my departure I had a long conversation with my brother, and here
I write only the most noteworthy part.

"So, William, you are addicted to the Greek vice! I would never have
suspected it." he said with a frowning expression.

"No, I am not addicted to a vice, AldousÉ no more than you who lie down
with a married woman. You are following your nature and I mine, you are
trying to avoid the fetters of our society to protect your relationship,
I am doing the same to protect mine. You have been lucky, and I wish you
to go on being lucky; I have been unlucky. Don't talk to me about a
vice, Aldous. I don't feel and am not a vicious man."

"You know that I always loved youÉ and I still do. But, allow me to be
rather astounded. The lifestyle you chose is against the laws of God, of
our King and of common morals. Is it possible, dear friend, that you are
not aware of this?"

"First of all, Aldous, I didn't choose to be as I am. As I didn't choose
to be born, I didn't choose to be the son of our father and of our
mother or to be your brother. But I am such. Don't you think that I
would be the first one to prefer being like the majority of the people
are, if not for anything else, just for the sake of having a quiet life?
Do you think that I like always having a rope hanging at my neck, ready
to close around it as soon as somebody decides to make me hang from it?

"But this is my life, may I like it or not, and I'm just trying to live
it as best as I can. I love Francis and he loves me. Ours is not vice,
ours is love. They forbid us to live it, to give it room, to make it
grow. And more than for myself I am terribly worried for Francis. I
would willingly go to the gallows if I knew that this would be good for
him, if I hoped this could rescue him. Because I really love him,
Aldous. I love him, believe me!"

"I believe you, even though it is not easy for me to understand it. I
believe you and am sorry I can do nothing for you. The only thing I can
do, and I will, is that, as Francis' father wants to avoid a scandal and
therefore he will tell nobody about it, I will also tell nothing to our
father about the real reason why you have to go back to England. You
will just tell him that the colonies climate was not good for you, as I
too will write in the letter I will send him. Our father would never
understand, would never accept such a thing."

"And youÉ do you understand? Do you accept?" I then asked him.

"HonestlyÉ only to a certain degree. I think it is only the affection I
have for you that demands me to not judge you and therefore not to
condemn you. But I think that if it were about a strangerÉ I would have
the same reaction that the majority of people would have in the face of
such a situation."

"So you would think it fair if I were sentenced to death." I concluded,
bitterly.

"I'm afraid I would."

"And don't you think, Aldous, that each of the people sentenced to death
for sodomy has a brother, a father, a son who would suffer as you would
suffer for me? That would not condemn him as you don't condemn me?"

"It is probably soÉ"

"So, then, don't you think, don't you believe you should feel ill at
ease, you should rebel for any person sentenced to death for this
reason, whether you know him or not?"

"But violence can never be excusedÉ"

"So, then let violence be punished, not love. Let be punished violence
of any kind, sexual or moral, physical or spiritual, made for money or
for hateÉ not sodomy in itself. Between Francis and me there has never
been violence, never ever. There has always and only been love, I
swear."

"I believe you, William. I know you enough to know when you are sincere.
What can I tell you, my dear brotherÉ may good luck never desert youÉ
and may you always live your life without too many tragediesÉ"

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CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 10

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In my home page I've put some more of my stories. If someone wants to
read them, the URL is

http://andrejkoymasky.com

If you want to send me feed-back, or desire to help revising my English
translations, so that I can put on-line more of my  stories in English
please e-mail at

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