MIIM
By Malik's eleventh birthday, we had examined about three hundred boys
who seemed suitable to become his select guards, and after the first
selection we were down to just one hundred. After the second selection
the remainder were intended to become not only the personal guards of
the heir prince, but also his companions and probably friends.
Therefore, the we were very careful about the personalities of these
young ones.
One day I asked Amin: "Do you perhaps hope that between Malik and some
of his guards could arise something more than a plain familiarity or
friendship?"
"Maybe. I would be glad if Malik could find among them one as precious
to him as you are to me."
"You would like him to find a lover among his guards?"
"Why not!? But I do not want to tell him that, to force him to make this
choice. If it has to be, so be it. I was really very lucky to find you.
Anyway... it is also for this reason that I did not want any females in
Malik's quarters."
"But it is not certain it will happen. Malik could develop a profound
liking for women, notwithstanding all you may do. And I do not think it
would be wise to block him..."
"No, of course not... But no woman ever could substitute what you are to
me. I mean, no woman can be to Malik what you are to me. You are my
peer, a woman would always be an inferior being, weak... everybody knows
that is for the woman to rely upon the man and not vice versa."
"But sometimes the opposite could happen, do you not think? What
happened to us does not happen to everyone."
"You are right. But the man that relies upon a woman is in an inferior
situation compared to other men, you know that very well. Every man has
a friend on whom he can rely upon in case of need, to trust... even if
he does not always succeed in developing for him that bond that
developed between us. My father had his Visir, and his friends... I have
my Visir who is also my lover. Is not that marvellous?"
"As it is me, I can surely not deny it is marvellous. To me it is
certainly so. But we are not the rule, you know that very well."
"And this is a real pity. We are very lucky, do you not think so?"
"I am lucky, that is certain!"
"Exactly. That is why I hope for the same for Malik. There are some of
the boys that I like very much..."
"Do you not think that lover could try to manoeuvre Malik for his own
sake?"
"Yes, of course. It will be up to my son to avoid that, to look for a
lover who is really controlled by love and not by covetousness. And
anyway you will help me to watch for that, right?"
"I will try. But we must not deceive ourselves. In this world, there are
no two men alike, remember. All that has happened cannot be repeated. We
cannot be sure that your son will follow our example."
"But I hope so. On the other hand it is not rare for wives to attempt to
dominate their husbands. From this point of view, it is not so
different."
Finally the day of the circumcision ceremony and of his investiture to
Heir Prince arrived. His select Guard had been constituted, the twenty
four best boys, and they received their new uniforms. I was moved,
because I had vivid memories of the day of Amin's circumcision and the
pride I had that first day I was at his service, at his side. I was
looking at the boys of the escort of the Heir Prince, almost trying to
discover somebody resembling me... but then I smiled. Under God's
firmament, I said to myself, two creatures alike can not be found. Or
rather, nothing is more dangerous than believing we have found a similar
identity. But it was agreeable to look at the Heir surrounded by that
maniple of adolescents, proud, handsome, and, I hoped, devoted.
Our life was troubled for a short while by a war against a neighbouring
Shaikh having aims of territorial expansion, but we defeated him rather
rapidly and our kingdom was further enlarged. But above all the other
shaikhs saw that we were able to effectively defend ourselves. In fact a
long period of fertile peace followed.
Malik turned fourteen. He was growing well, strong and beautiful, and
with his guard he had established a kind of comradeship that made Amin's
heart rejoice. Sometimes the Prince was out with his guards, riding as a
party towards the desert, or hunting with his favourite falcon. Other
times, at Amin's suggestion, dressed in humble clothes, he went round
the villages incognito. Amin wanted his son to see personally the living
conditions of the humblest people. The sovereign, he often repeated to
the boy, is before all the protector of the humble and the poor, because
the powerful can protect themselves with their strength. The king is the
only strength of the weak. On these occasions Malik was escorted by just
one of the boys of his guard, also disguised in humble clothes.
It was after one of these incognito journeys that Malik asked to talk
with me.
"Nadim, there is something... I do not feel like speaking about it with
my father, but I need to talk with somebody. Do you promise to keep this
a secret?"
"Yes, Prince, you can confide in me without worry."
"During this journey happened to me a strange thing... Aziz, my guard,
withdrew with a girl of the village. Looking for him, I caught him
carnally mating with the girl. Unseen, I spied on them. What I saw
aroused me very much. They seemed to be in another world. They were as
if transformed, while they were performing this act. A deep bliss seemed
to show through their faces. Their bodies were... it was as if they were
emitting light! It was something really beautiful. It was evident they
were experiencing great pleasure. So I desire to experience these
emotions. But I do not know how to go about it... Do you think I am
still too young, as Aziz says, to enjoy these things? And if so, how
long do I have to still wait? If not, what do I have to do in order to
experience this?"
I looked at him with deep tenderness: "I think you could talk about that
with your father. Anyway, as you chose me as your confidant, I will try
to answer you. No, I do not believe you are too young. Soon or later you
have to choose the person with whom to experiment, with whom to share
these emotions and it is not written that you cannot begin... But, you
see, it is one thing to feel this joy on a purely physical level, yet
another to experience them on a spiritual one. One beloved person must
be able to make you experience an unique joy, that contains both of
them... and this is not so simple a thing."
"But... how do I discover that person? How do I know who it is?"
"Sometimes we can deceive ourselves into thinking we have found such a
person. Sometimes we can discover this person only after a long time and
several attempts. The loved one that loves you is a great and precious
treasure. It is someone you know you can trust completely, to whom you
give yourself completely and who becomes completely yours, without
reserve..."
"But comes the day I become Shaikh, I can give myself to noone. I must
be the most important, all others have to be my subjects. How could I
then give myself to someone?"
"If that special someone gives himself completely to you, you remain
their Shaikh, and so that person becomes your Lord. Only love can
perform this miracle. Sex, just to taste the physical pleasure, means
that you use that person and, in some ways, that person uses you."
"So, in your opinion, Aziz used that girl?"
"It is rather likely, and on the other hand she used Aziz for her own
pleasure..."
"And yet they seemed happy... using and being used. It seemed a very
beautiful thing."
"I am sure it was. But what I want to say to you is that there exists
something much more beautiful and worthy."
"Love, you mean."
"Yes, exactly. What those two experienced was just passion, giving vent
to their senses. That can certainly be delicious, but if you asked Aziz
now what that girl represents for him, very likely he would answer to
you that she is just the memory of good fun."
"I asked him, and he said that doing it with her is much better than
doing it alone, with his own hand..."
"Do you give yourself relief with your hand?"
"Sometimes, at night, when I feel strange and my thing becomes hard,
stands up and quivers..."
"Yes, of course, I understand. And you never did it with one of your
servants or your guards?"
"No... at night I am always alone..."
"Do you feel it difficult to be alone at night?"
"At times..."
"And who would you like to have at your side, at night?"
"I do... do not know."
"A friend or a girl?"
"I do not know, really. But someone who likes me... giving me the warmth
of his presence."
I nodded, then asked him: "If you wish I will not talk about this with
anyone, but I think that it would be good if you spoke with your father.
Or, if you ask me to do it, I will speak to him for you. You may be
certain he will understand and will help you find a solution. You know
he loves you dearly and he would do anything to make you happy."
"Yes, you are right. I will tell him."
The same evening Amin said that he and Malik had just had more or less
the same talk as I. We discussed it together. In the end we decided that
Malik would have company in his bed, at his choice a male or a female.
So, choosing from the harem slaves five young and pretty girls, all
willing to cheer up the Prince at night, we created a small private
harem for Malik. Then his father, after showing him the five girls,
said:
"My beloved son, now you have these girls at your orders to unite as you
please. About males, whoever you would choose to cheer up your nights,
you have just to try..."
"I can try with males also, father?" he asked slightly surprised.
"Yes, of course. Sometimes a companion of your sex can give you what no
woman can. But while the five concubines, and any other slave, must come
readily at any time you request, others must agree, and desire it also.
This is the prerogative of the free man, never forget it. No shah, as
powerful he can be, has the right to demand from a free man what he can
demand from a slave or a concubine. But as far as the free person is
concerned, be careful he does not agree to join you in bed just from
ambition or to win from you special favours."
Malik nodded his understanding. And so begun the sexual life of the
Prince.
He tried first with the five girls, then with some young slaves, and
then with some of the youths in his retinue. His bed was no longer
empty, rather I heard that at times in his room there were little
orgies, with the girls, with boys or even with both. And not only in
night time! Amin was a little worried about the intensity of the sexual
life of his son, but Malik seemed happy as never before and fully
satisfied. But, seeing Amin worry, I decided to talk with the Prince.
"Your father and I are a little worried. It seems to us that you have to
find a limit to your sexual activities. Pleasure is a beautiful and
legitimate thing, but it does not exist for that only. The same as with
food, the right amount makes us rejoice, but too much makes us sick. The
true man is recognized by his ability to be temperate."
"Yes, I know, but it is so beautiful! With each one it is different,
each of them gives me different emotions. And I am young, desire often
burns..."
"I agree, and I understand the first days of discovery, but now... There
must be some one you like in a particular way?"
"Well, yes... Fahatma, for her fantasy; she is able to give me very
intense joy, and each time new fantasies. Then my guard Abdel, who has
an inexhaustible energy united to a particular devotion... And also my
black slave Monge, so virile and yet so sweet... how can I make a
choice!?"
"Well... you can at least try to limit yourself to those three.
Moreover, it will be good if you started to look for the right person
with whom to share not only your bed's pleasure, but also your life, do
you not think?"
"I will try, but... I regret to renounce the others."
"Anyway, Malik, now that you have had several experiences, do you prefer
a male or a female companion?"
"Just for pleasure, it is really the same. For friendship I surely
prefer a male. But for pleasure it is also very good to do it in threes
or in fours... What wrong is there in that?"
"Nothing, I believe. But when you find the person to love, you have to
be careful not to hurt that person by conceding yourself too easily
to... anybody. But probably these words are pointless: you will
understand that yourself the day you fall in love."
"You, Nadim, you have fallen in love?"
"Yes, I am, thanks be to Allah!"
"Is it someone I know? You have not yet married... is he perhaps a man?"
"Yes, the most extraordinary and marvellous I ever met in my life. And I
am faithful to him and he is to me."
"I know him? Does he live here at court?"
"I cannot answer you. I have to ask him before if he too agrees to let
you know who he is..."
"That means I know him. But I do not want to embarrass you. I just want
you to know I think that man, whoever he is, is really lucky to have a
lover like you. Do you know that, after my father, you are the person I
most admire, and love, in this world? Even more than my mother?"
"I am very grateful, Prince Malik. I too nourish a special affection for
you, you know..."
"I would like one day to find a lover like you."
"I hope you find him."
I reported this conversation to Amin, and he wanted us to reveal to his
son our relationship. So we called Malik in, and Amin told him
everything. Malik listened with attention then, at the end said with a
smile:
"I guessed so and I am really happy. I hope to have your luck, father.
But I would like to know everything about you two: how did you meet, how
did you realize you were in love..."
It was then that Amin asked me to write these pages with our story, to
dedicate to his son.
This conversation happened when Malik was sixteen. He was a boy of
indescribable beauty, it was a joy for the eyes to see him, and he is
still so now. Malik, following my advice, limited his sexual companions
and mainly united with the three persons he told me about. I also
explained to him it was better not to let word out of his bedroom
anything about his relations, especially with the boys. I explained to
him how people, too often, do not understand nor accept two men giving
each other mutual pleasure, much less love. Malik promised me he would
be careful, and he was.
When he was seventeen we celebrated his first marriage: he married a
princess who was a relative with the Baghdad Khalifa and that soon was
pregnant by him. The princess is not really beautiful, but is a devoted
and obedient wife. She has a natural majestic bearing and grace in the
official ceremonies that impresses the people. But Malik continued to
make love, not only with his favourite concubine, but also with Abdel
and Monge. He elected the first as chief of his guards and the second as
chief of all his slaves. Malik's first male heir was born to his first
wife, and he called his son Ali.
At eighteen Malik decided to go to Hajj to Mecca. The caravan formed, he
left with all his guards and took with him also some of his servants,
and with them also his favoured Monge. For the sake of his safety we
armed the guards with the most modern carbines, as even if the journey
was not really long, they had to cross unsafe territory. The Sultan's
empire was weakening and the predators band were multiplying
dangerously: not all the shaikhs were able to control and to neutralize
them as we had done in our territories. The caravan took the sea road,
as it was wider and safer, and left acclaimed by all the population of
the capital. Many had asked to join the caravan for the pilgrimage, and
that was willingly granted. The outward journey went without any
problem: weather was fine and along the road they had no encounters.
While Malik was absent, Prince Selim came to visit us. He had been to
Jerusalem and before returning home, he decided to come southward to
meet us. We welcomed him with real joy and all honours. Amin, as soon as
we were alone with the Prince, asked him for news about his son Selim.
The Prince answered:
"It is also to talk with you about him that I wanted to come here. He
did not come with me because he is slightly unwell. Apart from that, he
is really all right. He is now a beautiful young man and he resembles
you very much, Amin. Probably this is also one reason why I like him so
much... and I felt for him a physical desire, so, about one year ago, I
asked him to become my lover. To my great joy, he immediately accepted.
He is a very hot lover, passionate, and even if he has a very sweet
aspect, he is really manly. The only slight flaw he has is his most
lively sexuality. In fact, besides delighting me, and carrying on his
duty with his two wives, I know that often he likes to invite in his bed
some of his slaves, both males and females, he bought expressly for his
mixed harem. Not that I can complain, on the contrary: he answers with
real enthusiasm any request I make to him and when he leaves my bed, he
leaves me completely exhausted and fully satisfied, even if he, it
seems, is ready to start all over again..."
"I rejoice for you. But I did not guess you would be pleased by male
company in bed, Prince Selim..."
"In reality I started to think about that possibility when I knew about
you two... At that time I said to you that I liked you very much, Amin.
So I decided to try love with a male. It was agreeable, but it was not
my sole desire because I realised that after all it was you, Amin, whom
I desired, I dreamed about. But I could not tell you. So, when I saw you
in your son and noticed that he was rather... free in his sexuality, I
made my proposition. He is really remarkable in bed, ardent, unwearied."
"My son Malik also has an unbridled sexuality, quite the opposite of
myself, for whom Nadim is all I require. Probably they have inherited
their lust from their blood father, the good Harkat, who also had an
almost bursting sexuality. Another thing they have in common is that,
unlike me, they both like to unite with both women and men. Can you wait
for Malik to return? I would like you to see how well he has grown."
"Yes, I can stay for a while, if my presence here is not a burden."
"Of course not! You are and remain my best friend."
"If you say so, your Nadim will be jealous!" Selim said jokingly.
"No, because my Nadim is not my best friend, he is another self, and he
knows that."
"Your wonderful love is not at all worn by time, I see with pleasure."
"On the contrary. Nowadays I could no more live without him than a man
could live without his heart or his soul."
"I am happy you discovered your mutual love in my little beach. I feel
as if a part of the merit is mine."
"Certainly, if we did not bathe naked in that marvellous beach, quiet
and withdrawn, more years could have passed without us discovering our
love. But that day, with my luck, Nadim was not able to restrain himself
from caressing my naked body..."
"I often ask myself how I could succeed in restraining all the preceding
years. You are so beautiful, my beloved!" I murmured dreamily.
"You know, Nadim, I reflected about one thing: in all the years before
we understood we were in love, neither you nor I have looked for sexual
intercourse with others, although we felt the stimulus. Our minds did
not know, but our hearts did, that we were in love, that we belonged to
each other and so we could belong to no other. You see, my beloved, how
powerful is love, even when you do not yet know his name? Love truly is
the soul of every thing..."
I believe that amongst all poets,
the ones singing of love are the most
praiseworthy.
In fact love is the salt of life, the water that gives comfort,
the sun
that warms, the palm that shelters from the burning heat.
Without love a man is the ghost of himself,
is inconsistent, useless, empty. He is not really a man.
Praise be to Allah for having bestowed this gift to his elects,
to have given us this fire in the night of existence,
to have filled us with his blessing.
Praise be to love and to all loved, glory be to he who loves and to
love,
living spring of any joy and happiness.
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