Date: Thu, 30 Aug 2018 20:34:47 -0400 (EDT) From: Five Hole Punch Subject: The Castle and the Countryside Please contribute to Nifty. The Castle and Countryside The following is an incomplete manuscript that was found in a cache of documents looted by the Nazis from an historical location in western France. It was apparently written by an unnamed, mid-ranked member of the clergy as a private report to a person of high standing in England sometime during the last decades of the 12th century. Likely a Norman with strong ties to England, the author apparently traveled through four or five duchies of Western France during a twelve year period with diplomatic purpose. This document was translated, with a few select redactions, into modern syntax by Allied archivists in 1946 for unknown reasons. The recovered original seems to have been sent to England in 1947 and its current whereabouts remain unknown. It is presented in fragmentary form based more on the relational aspects present between individuals described rather than on the seemingly original geographic division. This is due to large sections which went missing over several centuries. ***** "... the appearance of the boy befits his simple country origins; straight straw blonde hair falling in the traditional round shape of a page, in keeping with his personality, a smiling countenance with a not unpleasant gap in his teeth, a smooth body, he had sufficient sustenance and, as a result, a slightly plump bottom, which remained unused as his companions fancied fish. Tyler was compliant in his simplicity and suffered only a mild embarrassment at being subject to the lusts of his companions. These young apprentices were boys still, although they had shot up in height and, more germane, had lengthened significantly. They had, of course, the surge of vitality that accompanies a Youth at that time of life; they were good for three times in a day. Joseph was a tall gamboling blonde, his father from the eastern mountains, spontaneity and bonhomie comprised his personality. Charles, black hair curled as a Venetian's, was quiet but equally the jester, and nearly as tall as Joseph. These three went about tending to the chores of their station, Tyler the puppy at their heels; I can personally attest to their tender friendship for the younger boy. They were of the same chronological age, but Tyler appeared younger by two journeys about the Sun. As to the pertinent details: it was during the course of the day that the older boys would feel the rise of their randy humours and they availed themselves of their young friend who was not averse and had, it seemed, a natural weakness for the practice. It was reported to me that the lad would, when requested, go to his knees and service each of his friends good-naturedly. They had a man's length and Tyler would only accept but half of the offered prick. He would puff his boyish cheeks as a piper until the older lad's liquor poured forth, the younger drinking it down without complaint. This occurred two or three times during the day. While the boys did so privately, one could see the dancing joy of the older boys and blushing awareness of the younger. It was this innocence of the simple lad that deflected any overt moral hostility by those of a higher station." ***** "The most comical pair of boys that could be observed in the manor proper were known as Pig and Twig. As their epithets imply, one boy was most corpulent, his parents cooks, and the other as skinny as a spring sapling. Little Pig's visage was plump but not overly so. His belly, jiggled above his ample frame and his thighs were packed into his hose like sausages in the larder. His ample hams were a feast for the buggers but, being a household boy, I don't think he had been skewered yet. If ever there were an illustration of the inherent nature of the Deadly Sins it would be Pig's sheer delight at eating. The boy's eyes would glisten and he literally salivated at the sight of, say a meat pie. Gluttony, yes, but for a boy whose balls hadn't dropped, he displayed the lust of a goat before tupping an ewe with food before him. Pig would clench and squeeze his thighs and, with every bite of the fatty treat, he would rock his thighs side to side stimulating his unseen private parts. His body was transported by his consumption. His companion was a Mercury to Pig's Jupiter, never at rest, flitting here and there about the lower chambers and courtyard like a sparrow. A skinny beak and grey eyes always alert, even the boy's light hair was thin and straight. Scrawny as a winter starling, the boy's hose hung threadbare, bony knees the sole interruption twixt flank and ankle. Well ... save one. For such an undeveloped physic, the elf had an ever present pointer leading him hither and yon. It was this that gave the boy his nickname, not his gaunt appearance. No stallion, goat, or hare could rival the constant compass this sprite displayed day and night. His hand was always attending to the "backbone of his cod." His pleasure was as transitory and erratic as a fly; mere seconds, a brief squint of eye signaling his gratification, and off again, upstairs and down. He, of course, was not producing generative fluid and probably would not for many seasons to come allowing him repetitive joys." ***** "As I am sure you are unfamiliar with the mundane in a cleric's path, and my early experience may provide the form, I may mention here that here are some aspects of the scribe's life that appear universal. In early training, it is often the practice to have the young boy sit upon your lap as you lead him through the lessons on forming the letters of text with the proper tools. This is done dry and the boy is led through the motions repeatedly before the use of ink. Of course there are other repeated motions and dry outcomes that are often the result. I well remember my instructor. In the cold of the winter he wore a robe lined with rabbit that was quite comforting. It was also quite arousing when Friar Tom used the sleeve and furred cuff to bring a boy to the height of tickled pleasure. This made the good friar quite popular as an instructor and led to many seeking remedy in their calligraphic technique. Friar Tom curtailed these sessions when the boy arrived at the point of pursuing the wet technique only." ***** "... I am familiar with the term you inquire about. Rather than "The Salty Seat," I have heard the term as "The Salty Saddle." I thought that this was specific to the manor of ----- in Gascony, but I found it not confined to that manor, nor to Gascony as a whole, but it appears in southern Aquitaine as well. It is the practice to discipline squires, and this is for squires alone, no page boys are allowed to be used in this manner, by binding them to an old, inferior saddle and administering a leather strap. As I mentioned, I had heard and seen this measure applied at -----; a little used back area of the saddlery that contained very worn but possibly still useful items was the secluded venue of the procedure. The squire was escorted to this area and subjected to being bound over the older saddle, fundament bared, usually with his wrists tied but sometimes with his ankles in addition, whereupon several strokes of the leather strap, rein, or cinch, were applied with vigor. It should be noted that it was often the case where the squire's lance was "ready for the joust;" many a knight, too. This was usually light-hearted discipline and the squire's knight applied the strokes, reddening the flesh in a delightful rather damaging manner. Indeed, if others were present during the strapping, they often left the knight and his squire to resolve the issue privately, or semi-privately truth be told. As I said, I saw the ceremony first hand. Only occasionally, and this is when the ankle restraints were applied, was this disciplinary measure used for serious effect and it was generally undertaken by a higher chivalric authority than the squire's knight. The name "Salty Saddle" is obviously from the usual outcome of either the initial ceremony or what would follow. Indeed, the dilapidated seat was quite evidently stained with the discharges of numerous squires who were treated in this manner. Afterwards, many an attendant squire and knight were resolved to undertake immediate remedial martial work, lance-handling most often the case, either singly or in pairs." ***** "There was a Germanic boy, Karl, whose countenance was as a very vision of that northern realm. I noted this boy once or twice in the company of Henry; yea, that wicked lad, son of the Roman Janus; sullen and morose one day then impious and irreverent the next. This gentle boy's flaxen hair fell like a helmet on a Saxon warrior, full and straight, delightfully curling inward in a perfect scroll about his neck. His grayish blue eyes gave a gentle contrast to his smooth, cloud- white cheeks. All of this faultless beauty receded, however, given one glimpse of the boy's lips. Troubadours would sing a thousand ballads in honour of the plumped flesh that entreated a taste of their lyrical and harmonious curves. It was an offense to Heaven that these pearls would be profaned by that spawn of the Devil, Henry. This Henry, of some privilege, was holding an impromptu court amongst a half dozen boys as they queued before entering the hall. Dropping some small item, Karl stooped to retrieve this. Having done so, and before rising, he was on his knees in a most suggestive position in relation to the malevolent Henry. Yea, it was my immediate impression of this momentary tableau, a shaft of light striking the kneeling blonde boy as a shadowed Henry stood quite near, of an archetypical prayer to Priapus. The evil boy, superior in rank in his own mind, made a sly comment that made clear to the youthful company and me, who overheard, what had transpired in between these two. "Karl, now isn't the time for that," the black-haired boy mock admonished with affectation. I confess that I thought of this moment in the passage, the genuflection of the sunlit boy, later when the evening grew late. In my time at ----- I briefly spoke to the German boy a few times in passing; I spoke to the raven-souled Henry on more intimate terms. This boy, when not in a melancholic humour, had a wit and intelligence about him. He, though a mere Youth, knew of the nature of men and their affinity for boys. We had a couple of opportunities for a short conversation and this Angel of the Dark made intimations regarding our meeting on more private terms. I was tempted but in consideration of my mission, and the boy's manipulative nature, I smiled and took pleasure in the suggestion alone. Thus ended my fortnight at ----." ***** "... Count ----- had stated the extent and I thought exaggerated the case, but no, it is true. There is a constant undercurrent of these Sodomical practices in this fief. I believe it is derived from the proximity to the sea and the traditions of their sailors going back to ancient times. I had two boys to serve me during my stay and both were very free with their manner. The youngest was of eleven years and was an intimate partner with the older boy, thirteen. Not blood, but brothers in practical fact. I had no taste for the younger boy as his appearance, though smooth, and his demeanor sincere in its amity, was too unpolished for a household. Besides, his generative organs were distinctly immature and did not arouse my goatish nature, a whisker or two is my starting point. The older boy was not only more polished but much more accomplished. His opening was invitingly reddened and loose; it is obvious that many of his activities were not with boys. His limbs were long and his plums had just begun to ripen and were of a rosy hue. He was most familiar and rutted with no more concern than fetching a needed candle. His nature was ignorant and servile but he took pleasure in the moment. The concerns of the Church? There was no guilt in his station and his practical concern for the soul? A prayer a day and he was right with God. Who is to say this is not more in the spirit of Christ than a Papist's formality? This casual ease amongst Breton boys extended along the coastal roads about the Loire. It seemed most every inn had these accommodations available. For example, the innkeeper's lad, thirteen, brought a bed warmer in the evening. He offered to warm me in a more expedient manner if I so desired, I agreed. The boy knew what was required of him and had his garments down and off in no time. His was an agreeable physique, firm and none too lean for a peasant. His generative organs, pleasantly pink with health, were not large but there was but a beginning of the Beard of Priapus, the merest whisps so the boy still had time to grow. He had none of the young goat musk that is such a delight in a maturing Youth; he did have a bit of the barnyard, though. It was necessary to give a swipe or two to clear the path but the benefit was a wet, moist field for plowing. This boy could offer a light sprinkle of moisture to grow my stalk, and did so twice, but nothing to truly seed the ground. The boy seemed delighted with what was apparently familiar and enjoyed not only the grossest movements of the rut but the gentlest osculations which I bestowed at length. He had nothing but smiles for me and no shame whatsoever being before a cleric. Villam in caelis est." ***** These are the only publicly available excerpts from the more extensive document and were revealed quite by accident in the papers of (redacted) who had the ----- logistical command in the post-war inventorying of looted Nazi artifacts. They were withdrawn from public access shortly after they were discovered in military records and are presently unavailable. All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2018.