Little by little I got used to the court life. November came and I remembered the appointment I had with Giacomo. I succeeded in convincing the King to let me go to spend a short period at the castle, in our game preserve. The only thing, he didn't want me to ride a horse. Not yet.
I did not know how to do to get away from you to go to the fishing pond hut where I knew Giacomo would have been, waiting for me. I could manage when I discovered the fowler hut down there towards the forest. Do you remember I told you I wanted to have a nap, and to let me sleep until I woke up by myself? You took with you a rug to spread on the grass, you set it inside the hut as a couch. When you were out, I climbed to the back small window and stole away. I could see you, sitting with your back leaning near the door, unaware and quiet. I ran at breakneck speed. If you became aware of my disappearance... yes, I know, you would have felt like dying. But I had to meet with Giacomo at all cost. I was almost sure he wanted to go back to his Court, and I was ready to make the exchange.
I entered the hut. As I went in, he stood up and went towards me.
He had a radiant smile: "You came, at last! It is five days I come here around this time and wait for you until dusk. I was afraid you wouldn't came any more. This wouldn't have given me any problem, anyway..." he said happily to me.
"How are you?" I asked him.
"Fine, and you? Did you meet problems?"
"No... practically not." I said. He asked me to tell him everything. He laughed amused. He could recognize the people in my descriptions, even without saying their names. Then I wanted to know what happened to him.
Giacomo arranged to be found at night, as we agreed. From his condition, they understood that something had happened and that he had lost his memory. So they took him to my aunt's house and she didn't suspect at all that it was not me. She just asked who had cut his hair and why, but as Giacomo had lost his memory... The day after she brought him to the village doctor - he got my same medical report.
My aunt was a practical woman - Giacomo had to continue to work. So she took him to the inn and explained to the innkeeper the problem.
"I see, poor boy. Well, we will teach him again from the start." the good man said without any hesitation.
For Giacomo, it was easier to insert himself into his new life than it was for me... and he liked that new life, he was happy.
"But..." he told me at a certain point, with a reproaching tone, "you didn't warn me about what there was between you and Timoteo..."
"Oh my god! That's true... what happened?" I asked really alarmed.
"He too was sure I was you... One evening he took me into the cellar and asked me if I truly did remember nothing, really nothing. No, I told him, absolutely nothing of my past... He then puts his hand between my legs and touches me. I felt puzzled, but not knowing what I was presumed to remember, to do, I remained still and, even if I really felt terribly embarrassed, let him do..."
Giacomo didn't yet have any sexual experience. So he didn't understand, but he felt, together with the embarrassment, a confused pleasure. Timoteo, knowing how much I liked being taken by him, continued, self-confident and without any worry. He opened his own breeches and pulled it out, straight and hard.
"Well, then, don't you really remember anything?" he again asked.
"No... I'm sorry..." Giacomo stuttered looking at the turgid Timoteo's pole -- it was the first time he ever saw one and he was fascinated.
"You always sucked it, just as a start. Go on, Giorgio, try it again and you'll see that you'll remember..."
"Sucking at it?" Giacomo asked astounded, "But..."
"Go on, you liked it so much... Come here, take it in your mouth!"
Giacomo, a little fearing to be discovered, a little bit for curiosity, a little because he told himself that if I really did it, he too could do it, crouched in front of Timoteo and received all the snake into his mouth. And with his great surprise, he discovered that he liked that weird thing.
After a while Timoteo made him stand up, lowered Giacomo's breeches, made him turn and, starting to masturbate him, tried to penetrate him. But, contrary to me, he was still virgin, therefore very tight...
Timoteo seemed surprised: "Hey, Giorgio, don't tighten, relax... or I can't put it inside you! What's up? Come on... relax, don't tighten so, relax..." he repeated continuing to try to push it inside his hole.
Giacomo felt confused, excited, embarrassed, fascinated, puzzled -- he didn't know that it was possible to do such things... from Timoteo's words he understood that he and I did that quite often... and that I liked doing it... Therefore, when at last Timoteo started to slip inside him, in spite of the pain, he didn't complain, he didn't try to escape. And he was amazed when, together with the pain, he started to feel a sharp, intense pleasure, as he never experienced before. Timoteo's hands on his genitals, the fact that the young man was biting his neck, the firm rod that now was slipping in and out of him, the intensity of the passion of the young inn keeper, his virile arrogance, subdued him completely.
His initiation to sex was much less gradual than mine but, Giacomo told me, decidedly pleasurable in spite of the pain and of the annoyance of the first times. Timoteo was happy he could fully resume his pastimes with whom he believed was me. He was just a little amazed, but pleasurably, about how much I, that is Giacomo, was (once again) tight...
Giacomo got soon used to that role, and even with pleasure. He told me that he was waiting with longing the moments when Timoteo would find the way to withdraw with him to take him. He discovered the joy of sex. In the Court, nothing like that, he said... So I told him about Fabiano and Manfredo. He looked at me with respect and admiration.
"If you go back," I told him, "you can do it with both of them..."
"But I don't want to go back. I feel too good here, like I am. And you?"
"Well, I too feel great... but how can you like life here at the village? What can you find beautiful in it?"
"And you, then, at Court? I finally feel free. Completely free. It's too great!"
"But don't you miss the fine garments, the food, the comfort?"
"No, not at all. I can swim naked, I can climb trees, I can stuff myself with potatoes and sauerkraut. Nobody controls me, directs me, makes me... No etiquette rules, a simple, spontaneous life..."
"Well, about the etiquette... it is a kind of game, it is a little like acting a part on a stage..."
In short, for common agreement, I went back to the Court life and he to that of a villager. We fixed an appointment for the following Spring. I told him about the fowler hut, and asked him to wait for me there, at our next meeting.
Running at full speed I went back to the hut. You were still there, in front of the door, on watch, unaware. I slipped inside, laid down for a while to resume my breath and, when I felt ready, went out.
"Did you have a good rest, Highness?" you asked solicitously, standing up to attention.
"Yes, thank you. We can go back to the castle, now. I like this place. Did I come here often?"
"Yes, Your Highness. I don't know if exactly to this hut, but you came often to this estate. At times with His Majesty, at times alone. But I was not then at your service."
There at the Castle, for the first time, I saw you naked. There was not the famous screen, there. When you became aware I was looking at you, you blushed and turned your back to me - but also your little ass was a splendid view, especially now that, thanks to Manfredo, I had also learned the pleasure that one can get from it.
I don't know why I didn't dare to do the first step with you, or to be more precise, why it took me so long time. Possibly because I liked you so much, or because I felt you too much of a friend...
Our friendship was born exactly there, at the castle, do you remember? We spent hours strolling in the park and chatting. You told me your life, before at your father's castle, then in the Guards, then at my service... I could not tell you about me. But I told you what I was thinking about the life I was discovering, about the people I was meeting at Court. With full sincerity. I liked your laughter at some of my remarks.
"Oh, Highness, you are absolutely right, the Prime Minister really seems an owl... stuffed with straw! And you are able to perfectly mimic his way to move, to talk..."
Even if in that time we still were talking to each other in a very formal way, little by little we were feeling more and more close, and freer to freely express ourselves with each other.
I still perfectly remember when, alone in the carriage taking us back to the Capital, you told me: "Highness, those days near you at the castle estate, have been splendid. I am a lucky man to have been called to your service!" Your eyes were shining and I really don't know what held me back from embracing you in that moment -- you seemed to me so beautiful, and I desired you more than ever...
Back to the Court, I resumed my life, my tight studies, my secret encounters with Fabiano and Manfredo...
Yes, it was just a little before Christmas that it happened with Ermanno. He was then twenty eight year old, right? He was my secretary (that is, of Giacomo) for three years. At first he seemed somewhat annoyed with your presence near me, he felt he had been displaced, I think.
Ermanno saw me grow up, from an adolescent become a man (even if it was Giacomo) and he took a fancy to me. At first, even if his physical aspect appealed to me, his formal, ceremonious behaviour made me feel him unpleasant. And his notebook with all my official engagements, that little by little were starting again, bothered me very much. Your Highness please don't forget this, has to do that, and in this way, and in that way... Well, he was trying to help me, I know, but I found him boring, pedantic, meticulous...
How did I discover about him? In a rather trivial way. I didn't remember the exact time of one of my engagements but he was somewhere in the Palace. I entered in his small studio, hoping there was his notebook and so I started to rummage in his papers. I was about giving up (can you imagine if he parted from his precious notebook covered in dark green morocco leather!) when I noticed a cabinet, you know, like one of those I had in my rooms, with secret compartments. Also this one had to have one, I thought. Who knows what he hid in it? Where could it be? I tried and tried again to move decorations, to push, pull, but to no avail. It seemed impossible to find the hidden compartment.
But you know that I am a curious type, don't you? And that I don't surrender so easily. So I started again, meticulously, hoping he didn't come back right in the middle of my search. I noticed that one of the decorations seemed a little more shining that the others... I tried to push it, to pull it, to make it shift on the right, on the left, upwards downwards, to no avail. Then I rotated it... and it yielded, and I heard a click. I pushed, pulled, it come out a little. But nothing was happening. I passed my hand on all the surface trying, until a small column moved a little. I pulled and out came a vertical drawer with inside a small copybook.
I excitedly extracted it. It was written with a tiny handwriting, but in a kind of code. Hurriedly I slipped it under my jacket, closed and put all in order, and left. Certainly he would become aware of the disappearance of his copybook, but he couldn't know who took it. And I wanted to discover his secrets.
The code gave me a lot of trouble for several days. Ermanno said nothing about his missing copybook -- or he didn't yet go to take it, or he couldn't guess who could have taken it. One of the teachings I was receiving was about the war and diplomatic codes. So, little by little, I could guess its lecture key. Mainly when I understood that some of the recurring words were dates - it was a kind of diary.
Terribly interesting.
He had recorded on it mainly his amorous life and I became aware, even if the names of his conquests were recorded only with their initial letters, that they unmistakably were all men.
I now invent the dates, as I can't remember exactly. Just the year is right:
April 12th 1824 - I like the Count CBM, and I think he likes me, even if he is so shy. However he is just eighteen. A handsome physic, nicely showed up by his hussar's uniform.
April 27th 1824 - CBM makes me crazy. During the Court ball he never took his eyes from me. But when I tried to approach him, to talk with him, he answered in monosyllables. Off-putting. And yet I am convinced that the young Count feels attracted to me.
May 3rd 1824 - CBM accepted to come riding with me. When I told him that I liked his riding attire, he blushed. What a delight! But he seems to shun the more personal physical contact.
May 16th 1824 - CBM at last lowered his defences. At last and suddenly. I succeeded in making him mine. In his room, while he was changing. I brushed his bare chest, telling him that he was handsome. I brushed his nipple and he sighed, closing his eyes. So I took his nipples between my lips and he pushed himself against me -- he was aroused. I untied his culottes, stripped him naked, pushed him on his bed. He was trembling. I caressed him, he was quivering. He offered himself to me without words, like a sacrificial lamb. So I went on top of him and immersed my sword into his sheath. He took me with him into paradise.
May 18th 1824 - He is the most hot and passionate boy I ever had. But I didn't expect that suddenly he inverted the positions! That he stormed my fortress. He hammered inside me for a long while, like a true young bull. He puffed from his nostrils like a young bull in heat. But then, he gave himself to me again, becoming once again the little, tender and sweet lamb of the day before yesterday. Oh, so good! Oh, so splendid!
May 23rd 1824 - Yes, C is really splendid, but too jealous -- he doesn't want me to look at any other boy. I swore him fidelity, but I already know that I will not be able to keep my promise for a long time. Anyway, it is so good to welcome each other inside ourselves.
He continued in this style, with also hints about what he was feeling for me as I grew older. Then many new conquests, the same amount of separations, desires, disappointments, quarrels and, from time to time, allusions, but more and more frequent, to Giacomo. Then my amnesia. And my different way to look at him -- he became aware that I was interested to him!
December 17th 1829 - HHG seems to be attracted towards me. I really don't think I am wrong, but of course I cannot dare to make the first step. He is becoming more and more beautiful and desirable. It seems almost as the accident did him good -- he seems more cheerful, more open, more spontaneous. If he just made me understand he wants what I am longing for... But possibly I am fantasizing too much.
So, then, I saw rightly -- he was just waiting for a sign from me. From his diary I saw that he was a real Don Juan and that aroused me. So, I decided to uncover the cards.
We were preparing for the following ceremonies, and he was meticulously explaining me what I had to do.
I suddenly said him: "Tell me, marquis, amongst the animals, which one do you prefer?"
He looked at me astounded and answered: "The horse..."
"Ah, really? But... between a young bull and a little lamb, which one seems the most interesting to you?"
He looked at me hesitantly, then answered, slightly uncertain: "Each of them has its interesting qualities, Highness. But... how it comes that you ask me such a question? And why did you choose exactly these two animals?" he asked looking at me with care.
"I read somewhere about little lambs transforming in young bulls, and the thing made me curious. What would you like to be, of these two animals?"
I saw contrasting emotions depicting on his face, then, in a formal and dry voice, he said: "You then... You didn't have any right... Give it back to me."
"Later..." I answered smiling, self-confident.
"Later?" he echoed.
"Yes, you didn't answer to my question. Who of us will be the lamb and who the bull? Or a little of each both of us?"
"Both of us?" he asked widening his eyes.
"Wouldn't you like me to fulfil your desire?" I asked with a provocative tone, looking at him slyly.
"You really... you would be ready... with me..."
"Why not! It seems to me that you have much experience, and I appreciate men with experience... above all in this field. So then?"
"With you... all you wish, Highness... I will be your bull, or your lamb, or both of them, if you prefer..." he said at last with a subdued voice.
"Yes, both of them, possibly..." I said taking his hand.
He lifted my hand and kissed it, then with a passionate voice, kneeling in front of me, he said: "Highness... I am at your feet..."
"I would better like having you in my bed." I said jokingly.
"It will not be easy, I'm afraid. Amongst guards, servants and that orderly of yours, you never are alone..."
"We are alone here, now. Why don't you give me a little sample of your amatory skills?"
He brushed his face against my swollen basket and said: "Oh, Prince Giacomo, your precious sceptre... May I..."
"What are you waiting for? It is yours..." I answered making it palpitate.
He feverishly opened my trousers, pulled it out and started to lick it, to suck it, to kiss it with consummate art. He was much better than Fabiano, much more skilled. In a short time he brought me to the pleasure top and, when I finally unloaded into his hot and agreeable mouth, straight in his throat, he greedily drank all to the last drop.
Licking his lips, looking at me from down, he whispered: "Oh, Highness... How can I express to you my gratitude?"
"Doing it again... and making me feel also other emotions. But above all, locating the place and the way to be able to do it in a bed, safely, with calm... And maybe slacken a little the watch they are keeping on me."
"I don't know how many of these things I could do for you, Highness, but I will try hard, I will do my best!"
Well, you know how it ended -- Ermanno is really skilled for many things. He succeeded in persuading the Court that I was recovering, that a strict watch was no more needed. And prepared for me that room that is officially called "resting place for the Prince". There is no a bed, but that comfortable, wide, thick carpet in front of the fireplace that I used so many times, also you and I.
Good, I now had three lovers, a room where to withdraw to quietly make love, and yet I was not really satisfied.
I felt fine, I was well inserted in the Court life, the people around me, and mainly you and Ermanno, helped me to surpass the last difficulties that at times faced me, but I was still missing something.
I didn't understand what at once, on the contrary, it took me a long time.
The success I had, even if in different ways, with these three men, pushed me to desire to conquer you too. What was attracting me to you? So many things but, above all, you know that, your beautiful smile. They say that the smile is the mirror of the soul -- certainly yours had, and has, something special.
It was not just your beauty, even if remarkable. No, your smile gave me deep emotions. I could feel in it frankness, friendship, warmth, care, admiration, gentleness, protection... and so many more things that it will be too long to list. Your smile always attracted me even more than your body, and I need say no more.
No, I'm not at all saying that you are perfect. But... you seem to have been conceived exactly for me, yes, it is really so.
Even now, to be so with you, to look at your body languidly lying near mine, to lose myself in your smile, in your eyes filled with love, remains an extraordinary experience.
All right, I could be romantic, but you know that this what I feel for you, don't you? You know that I don't tell lies, I am not being rhetoric. Now we do really know each other, intimately.
Anyway, you conquered me little by little, but in an irresistible way. Why do you think I renounced all the others for you, if it was not so? Yes, I conquered you at my turn, this is true. This has been my luck... Yours too, I agree.
How was Ermanno in bed? Remarkable. He really had very much experience. Do you know that he had his first boy when he was just twelve year old? So, when I had him he already had sixteen years of experience on his shoulders!
The fact that you had had little experience, doesn't make miss nothing at all to the beauty of making love with you -- it is not just a question of skill. And then, anyway, you have absolutely nothing to envy to Ermanno. But you have something that him, or the others, don't have -- the ability to love, to really love, deeply, totally.
And to forgive. To understand. To accept...
No, really, I would renounce everything just not to lose you. Really everything.
All right, I'll stop to sing your praise...
What was I telling? Ah, yes, that the marquis Ermanno succeeded in loosen a little the control I had to endure, and to make prepare for me the famous resting place. With that beautiful, thick, soft carpet of white fur. Even better than a bed.
Well, the fact that you, even being always so close to me, didn't suspect anything, is to the credit of my skill to... But no, silly man, you know that now I have no more secrets for you. But at that time it was different. I had to have secrets, to cut away my own space. And you... even if I was feeling you more and more a friend, I didn't really know what you could think on this subject.
Sure thing is, if I think to that now, that there were even four people, assigned to my person, to have my same tendencies about sex. I ask myself how many more could have been so. If we just could live in a more simple way, showing what we feel! All this hypocrisy surrounding us, and not only in the Court...
Yes, Manfredo and Ermanno are married. But you know how it is, don't you? Also Giacomo will have to marry, sooner or later. You and I are lucky men, now -- we can live freely, as we best like. Also thanks to Giacomo, of course, but mainly because we live no more in the Court...
Regrets? Not even just half. Really, not at all. And you? Come on, don't pull my leg, now... All right, it was a silly question, as much as yours, anyway, right?
No, I rather started having regret there at the Court. I began to understand why Giacomo felt tight in his life at Court, why he wanted to run away from it. I started to feel longing for my forest, my open air life, my naked swims with my friends...
At first it was not so strong -- I was still fascinated by many aspects of the sparkling life at Court. And all the things I was learning. And the loves I could allow myself to have.
They thought me (again) to ride -- I liked it very much. To fence, but I liked that less -- the skill to kill the neighbour! Like shooting with a pistol. But I had to learn -- I was little by little becoming aware that the duties of a prince, in some ways, really make him a prisoner. Well, the parties were beautiful -- I liked so much to dance. The ceremonies, little by little became boring. The parades, happily rare, very choreographic but interminable.
Then the lessons were all rather interesting. Especially those of Manfredo, who started to let me read some books that were on the "Index of the Forbidden Books"... Who knows why the most interesting and amusing books are almost all on the Index? And that doesn't prevent those of a certain social level to have them and to read them. Changing the subject, who knows how Manfredo is now? Where did he end up? Could he find someone else giving him what his wife cannot give him?
No, he discovered this kind of pleasure in the years he was attending the university. He was already married, he did it when he was very young. He told me that during a student's party he got drunk. Not so much to lose conscience, but enough not to be able to stand up. So a university fellow took him to his room. Undressed him put him on his bed, and without any ceremony, fucked him. No, Manfredo didn't have any strength left to oppose, he was completely inert, he couldn't avoid it even if he wanted to. His fellow enjoyed him for a long while, all the night long, not caring the feeble complaints of his drunk companion, or rather possibly even aroused by that. So, he had to undergo it, at least at the beginning. Because then, little by little, he discovered he was enjoying it more and more. And very much. Well, better late than never, isn't it?
Ermanno, on the contrary, was twelve year old, yes. Two of cousins, a little older than he was, weaned him. He caught them in the greenhouse and they were having sex. His cousins became aware he was there. So, they blocked any escape and "persuaded" him to join them. He lost his virginity at that time -- the two adolescents took him from both ends, at the same time. But then, he immediately took his revenge blackmailing them -- "or you give me your little back holes, or I'll go to tell your parents what you did me..." And so, one after the other, he went on top of them and took them. He loved both the first experience than this second one...
He "played" with them for a few years but then, around his fifteenth year, he flung himself with enthusiasm to the conquest of the world. First a stable boy, then a kitchen boy, always there at his mansion, then the novice of a monastery where he was a guest of his family, then... one after the other tenths and tenths of men and boys, even when he entered in the Court. He told me that amongst the Guards, there are many more than ready and available... You have to know something about it, I think, don't you?
About Fabiano I know nothing -- we never talked, we just did, and not even for so a long time. Yes, the last times we did it together, there in my private bathroom, I persuaded him to lower his breeches and let me take him... No, no, without any difficulty, on the contrary... I simply lowered them and made him turn. It was evident that I was not the first to visit his back door, and also evident that he liked it. But more than that, I'm not able to tell you. No, he never tried to take me, I don't know if out of respect, or because he didn't like being a top. Certainly I would have been game, if he let me understand he desired to take me!
No, with him I stopped before than with the others. There was no special reason. I simply stopped. With the others on the contrary I stopped because I was falling in love with you. You know that you really bewitched me, don't you?
Who did I like most of them? Well, Ermanno, for many reasons. But also... Yes, Ermanno. He was the most self-assured, and also the most varied amongst the three. He loved having sex, he was really sensual and full of fantasy.
No, it didn't cost me at all to leave him, and anyway you didn't ask me that, it was my inner need to leave all of them, right? When I became aware I was in love with you. It is possible that he remained somewhat disappointed, but he is a lord, a gentleman, even in this -- he didn't complain at all. That's also the reason why we remained in a good relationship.
On the contrary, Manfredo did really feel bad. No, he too was correct, but he regretted very much, I was aware of that. Bah, you know, Ermanno is the man of a thousand adventures. When one ended, he at once looks for the next, or rather at times he carries out even more than one adventure at the same time. Therefore, he doesn't worry so much if one adventure comes to an end. Manfredo was different. He is... how to say... he is monogamous. Yes, all right, bigamous -- his wife and a boy.
When I told him that I had fallen in love, he understood, of course, at least on an intellectual level. But he seemed somewhat crestfallen, like a beaten dog, his tail between his legs, his ears down.
No, I don't think he was in love with me. He simply liked it, and I was enough for him. Manfredo is a simple man, in a way. No, of course not a simpleton, I agree. When, before in the manuscripts room up there in the library, then in my resting room, I invited him to withdraw with me, he just nodded like when I told him that the lesson's time was over. We withdrew. I liked to undress him, and he let me do. But then, little by little he became lively, excited, hot. Especially when I was about taking him... and while I was taking him -- he looked like a different man. Also his expression was different, even his aspect. Like if suddenly he became ten years younger. Like if he lived again his first experiences as an university student... At least, this was my feeling, the feeling he gave me several times.
Do you know that I too asked myself several times what would have happened if Manfredo and Ermanno made love together? Possibly Manfredo could have liked it. Not so much for Ermanno -- in bed he liked an active, lively participation of his partner. That's why he said me that he liked me.
You too, right? Come on, do you want me to continue or...
No, sure...
You know that, don't you?
Yes, Love... sure... I will never be able to say no to you.
Here, come...
Oh, Gualtiero...
Every day more, even if it seems impossible.
That way...
God, how beautiful you are!
Yes...
Yeeeesss...