Date: Wed, 18 May 2005 20:05:55 +0000 From: Jeffrey Fletcher Subject: Two Jubilees...Part44 This is a story that involves sex between males. If such a story is offensive, or illegal for you to read where you live, then do not continue, go and surf elsewhere. This is a work of fiction and in no way draws on the lives of any specific person or persons. If there is any similarity to any real persons or events it is entirely coincidental. The work is copyrighted (c) by the author and may not be reproduced in any form without the specific written permission of the author. It is assigned to the Nifty Archives under the terms of their submission agreement but it may not be copied or archived on any other site without the written permission of the author. My thanks to John who has read this through and made a number of corrections and suggestions. Any remaining errors , grammatical, spelling or historical or whatever are entirely my fault. We are back with a character who speaks with a fairly cockney accent, hence the dropped aitches, and Vs for Ths, and an `ink' in place of `ing' at the end of some words. Thank you to those who have commented on my stories. If you want to comment on the story then do contact me on Jeffyrks@hotmail.com. I aim to reply to all messages. Two Jubilees and One Spitfire. Resume:- Ross, Trevor's partner of over 30 years, has just died in their home at Potter's End. Two Jubilees and One Spitfire. Part 44. It was a quarter to three when Zach looked up at Trevor and nodded. "He's gone." They remained still for several minutes, each lost in his own thoughts. Trevor looked up. "We must move. There are things to be done. I don't know about you, Zach, but I'm thirsty." They laid Ross flat on the bed, and went down stairs. Zach put the kettle on. "What's got to be done, Trev?" "I must ring New Zealand. It will be late this afternoon over there. I think one or two of Ross' family may want to come over. The sooner we let them know the better." "Doctor? Undertaker?" "I think they can wait until a more respectable hour. The doctor, when he last called, said that Ross could go any time. But there is something I would like to do. Something intimate and special." Zach looked at Trevor. "I would like to lay him out myself; and not leave it for some woman or man from the undertakers to do it." "What's involved?" "Washing the body, and dressing it. Ross told me what he wanted to wear for his burial." "Can I help you?" "You sure? It will involve handling his dead body." "I'd like to. I love him, my second Dad. I'd like to do it for you both." "If we do it sooner rather than later it will be easier, before rigor mortis sets in." The kettle boiled and Zach made the tea. He went into the cupboard where the drinks were kept, and got out a bottle of whisky. "I think we need a drop of the hard stuff." "Good idea. I'm going to ring New Zealand. Can you get Ross' washing things, all the things we use when we gave him a bed bath." Trevor went and phoned Ross' brother. "His older brother and his wife are hoping to get a flight." Ross was still warm. They removed Ross' pyjamas, and together they washed and dried him. Ross' body was anointed with their tears. Before they began to dress him Zach kissed Ross' cock, and chest. "Thank you, Ross, for the many wonderful times you gave me." Trevor then kissed Ross in the same way. "Do you know, Zach, though we argued about all sorts of things, we never fell out. We never disagreed over something that really mattered." They dressed Ross in the trousers and shirt that had been agreed before. "Trev, I think we should try to have an hour or two's kip. There will be a lot to do once things get started in the morning." They left a light on, and with a final look closed the door and made their way into the other large bedroom. In silence they undressed and got into bed. Zach snuggled up to Trevor, and held him in his arms. They were both soon asleep. All too soon morning arrived. The next five days passed in a whirl of activity and decisions. The doctor, the undertaker and the vicar all called that first day. Trevor seemed to spend the rest of the day speaking to people on the phone. Zach was kept busy doing various things, and preparing the meals. Neighbours called, some just delivering a card, many with offers of help. Trevor had expected the funeral to be a small affair, but it was soon obvious that there were many planning to come. Ross' brother and his wife were coming from New Zealand. There was his literary agent, and people from his publisher's. There was going to be a representative from the film company in Hollywood. Trevor felt strangely moved when he heard that the New Zealand High Commissioner was also going to be present. Mark and Greg who used to live with Trevor in Leytonstone said that they were coming. Chris and Ian, old friends since they had met Ross and Trevor at their midnight tryst at Stonehenge were also planning to attend. Trevor wanted the refreshments afterwards to be at Russell's. He took up Lizzie's offer to help. She knew exactly what was involved. Zach said his mother, Gloria, would like to come to the funeral, and would also like to help. Young Trevor and Zach came to Trevor with a request. "Uncle Trevor," said godson Trevor, "We'd like to carry the coffin." Trevor looked at them, and tears came into his eyes. All he could do was to nod, and mutter, "Fine! Thanks!" "Adam, would like to do it as well, but we really need a fourth man." They discussed this and decided to ask Greg or Mark. Ross' brother and sister-in-law were met at Heathrow, and brought back to Russell's. Eventually the day of the funeral arrived. It was another cold crisp day. The church was packed, with people standing at the back. Geoff, the vicar, paid tribute to Ross and in his message referred to death as the King of Terrors. Trevor looked up, because he knew he had not used those words in speaking to Geoff. Then he realised that Ross must have mentioned them. A tear formed in his eyes; it was as though Ross was reaching out to care for Trevor from the far side of death. The final hymn sung, the last prayer said, and the cortege made its way out into the church yard. As they approached the empty grave a robin fluttered up from the bare earth, and sat for a moment on a nearby gravestone. There was a brief note of winter song, and it flew further off. The coffin was lowered into the ground. As Geoff said the words of committal Trevor wondered how long it would be before he would be joining Ross. Back at the cottage there were a host of people to be spoken to. Eventually the throng began to thin. Amongst the last to leave were young Trevor and his mother Lizzie. Young Trevor gave his godfather a hug. "Trev, you are coming to us for Christmas, it's all been arranged. Come when you like, and stay over the New Year." Trevor went to open his mouth. "No arguing. It's been arranged. Just bring yourself, nothing more. Understand?" "Yes, Sir," replied Trevor with a smile. Lizzie gave Trevor a kiss. "Nothing more, means no presents. I am sure you've not even given a thought to Christmas. You'll have enough to do, without rushing round trying to think of presents. Just bring yourself, that's the present we all really want." The cottage quietened. Ross' brother and his wife were staying one more night. Zach was to take Gloria home the next day. They all sat exhausted in the sitting room. They began to drift off to bed. Ross' brother and his wife were in the other large bedroom, the intervening double doors were shut and locked. Gloria was in one of the smaller bedrooms. Trevor and Zach made their way upstairs, and through the bathroom. They each undressed in a different way. Zach always began by taking off his upper clothes, any shirt or pullover he was wearing. Trevor began at the other end, taking off his trousers and pants. He sat on the edge of the bed rubbing his the top of his inner left thigh. "You all right?" "I've got a bit of an ache. I have felt it several times recently. It is the old war wound from Korea. The doc in Japan said it might make itself known to me when I got older." "Let me kiss it better." Zach knelt in front of Trevor, and opened his legs. He gently kissed the scar. The close proximity of Zach's face brought a hardening response from Trevor. Zach felt the movement. He looked up at Trevor and grinned. He took hold of Trevor's cock and placed it in his mouth. The full response was immediate. Zach gave full play with lips and tongue. Trevor groaned with pleasure and tried to push Zach's head away. Zach put his arms round Trevor and held on tight. Three minutes later Trevor's love juice was shooting out into Zach's mouth. Zach sucked until Trevor ceased to flow. "You're still in good working order?" "So it would seem. That's the first time for nearly three months." Zach reached up and undid Trevor's shirt. "Adam and I'll make sure that it is never as long as that again." They completed getting undressed and got into bed. "I don't know how I would have got through these last few weeks without you. I shall miss you when you go back to Birmingham the day after tomorrow. But you have your work, and you have Adam. I must thank him too." The next morning Ross' brother and his wife left to visit some of her relatives in the north of England. Just before lunch Gloria was ready to leave. She stood in front of Trevor obviously wanting to say something, but not knowing how. Zach spoke for her. "Mum wants to make a suggestion to you. She does not want you to make a quick decision. She wants you to think it over for at least three months." Trevor wondered whatever was coming. "She says you are going to rattle in this place by yourself. She would like to offer her services as your housekeeper." "Think it over, Trev," said Gloria. "But take your time. There's room for the two of us in this place without our getting under each other's toes. "Thank you for the offer. I shall think carefully. I'll see how it goes being alone here. I don't want to move. I have been so happy here. I know Ross is no longer with me in body; but he'll be here with me in spirit. I'll let you know one way or the other before mid-summer day." He gave Gloria a long hug and a couple of kisses. "I don't know what I'd `ave done without you two." "And where would we be without you," said Gloria, accompanied by nods of agreement from Zach. He took his mother back to Leytonstone, and then came back to the cottage for a final night before returning to Adam. They sat cuddled on the settee for most of the evening, reminiscing, and discussing matters relating to the future. That night they made love. It was lengthy and gentle. "I think Ross was with us giving us his benediction," said Trevor. "I felt he was here too." *** The next few days were busy ones for Trevor. He had many letters to write. He, and young Trevor were executors of Ross' will. The will was simple, and already known to Trevor. . Ross left his share of the cottage to Trevor. There were a few bequests. The rest of his estate was to be divided amongst his siblings. Where a brother or sister had died their share was to be divided amongst the children of that brother or sister. He thought if he could get it all in order then young Trevor and he could confer over Christmas. There was his own will. He had left his share of the cottage, and most of his estate to Ross. He now had to think again. Things had radically changed in the twenty years since he had made his existing will. Trevor motored down to Winchfield on Christmas Eve. He arrived just before lunch. The house was decorated for the festivities, and full of excited children. Young Trevor and his wife had four children, the youngest of whom was just three years old. Young Trevor showed his godfather to his room. He was slightly surprised to see that there was a double and a single bed in the room. "You can choose which ever bed you like to sleep in. You know your way around." When he came out of his room Lizzie was hovering on the staircase. She beckoned to Trevor to follow her. "This is my sitting room." She ushered him in a small cosy room. "It's where I retreat to when the children get too much. Whenever you want to get away, to be alone, or to be quiet, then just come up here. This is grandma's special room, and the children can only come in here when specially invited. It means it is a special treat for one of them to come in here. Would you like a sherry before lunch?" They sat talking quietly, sipping their sherries, until the gong sounded in the hall below. Late that afternoon Trevor and Lizzie were talking together in the large drawing room when they heard the crunch of tyres on the gravel outside. They heard the ring of the door bell and the sound of voices. The door to the room open and young Trevor led in Gloria, Zach and Adam! Afterwards everybody said that Trevor's face was a picture, a mixture of surprise and delight. "When was all this arranged?" "At the funeral." "Whose idea was it?" "Karen's. She whispered the suggestion in my ear, and I just went round arranging it," said young Trevor, with a grin. The children were for about five minutes taken aback by the presence of two very dark skinned people in their home, and one lighter coloured. They had seen very few such people and never spoken to any, let alone in their own home. Once the ice was broken Zach and Adam became the key people in their Christmas celebration. They were shown round the house, presented with favourite toys for inspection, and asked a host of questions. Karen later said that it was an easy Christmas for her, as all the children wanted to do was to be with Zach and Adam. Karen and Lizzie were in charge of the catering. They had no inhibitions about asking for help from Trevor or Gloria in preparing vegetables and other routine tasks. Young Trevor was in overall charge, he was also in charge of the drinks, and laying the table before the meals, and clearing away and washing up afterwards. Adam and Zach said it was both the most enjoyable and exhausting Christmas and New Year they had experienced. The single bed in the bed room was never used, except as a place to put clothes and other things on. "Your godson is very understanding," said Adam to Trevor. Trevor smiled. "Yes, he knows the score. He's like his father, encourages, helps, but you know it's not his scene." Lizzie and Trevor spent a lot of time together. They knew each other's needs as for both of them it was the first Christmas without their partner. "It's a pity that Zach and Adam will never have children of their own. They would've made excellent fathers," observed Lizzie. "I think it has been an eye opener to them both what a delight children can be." "Do you ever wish you could've had children?" Trevor paused before answering. "In some ways I like to think of your Trevor, and of Zach, as my children. They have given me much pleasure, watching them grow up, playing with them in their younger days. Zach sometimes refers to Ross and me as his two Dads. He did when we laid Ross out the night he died." Lizzie reached over and gave Trevor's hand a squeeze. On the last night when they were going to bed Adam was in the bathroom and Trevor and Zach were alone together. It was obvious to Trevor that Zach was itching to tell him something. "Did you know Karen's expecting another baby?" "Yes, Lizzie told me." "Trev has asked me to be godfather!" The broadest of smiles spread across his face. "That's wonderful! The two of you have always had an interesting friendship, coming from such totally different backgrounds, yet getting on so well together." Trevor's face changed to a look of utmost seriousness. "You know the duties? You will be expected to bath the baby regularly, read it stories, give it presents and treats, leave it a fortune in your will, and of course, most important of all, change its nappies!" Zach nodded in agreement with all the duties until Trevor came to the last, when a look of doubt came into his face. It had been a good Christmas, but Trevor missed Ross. *** Trevor found the cottage cold and empty when he returned home. The Christmas and New Year festivities had in some way blunted his sense of loss. Now it all returned. For a couple of days he could not settle at anything. When he realised what was happening he started to pull himself together. In the middle of January he went to his first board meeting for over four months. He had decided to look in on the apartment, just to check that everything was all right. Not that there was any real doubt as it was cleaned every week! The man who had the apartment next to his, joined him in the lift. Trevor knew the man quite well. He was a Labour MP. "Haven't seen you for ages, Trevor." "No. I haven't been up to town for over four months. My partner died in early December." "I am sorry to hear that." He went on to speak about Ross whom he had met three or four times when coming or going from the apartment. "Are you doing anything this evening?" "No. I was not thinking of staying. Why?" "I was going to ask you round for dinner at the House." Trevor smiled. "Can I change my plans and accept?" "Of course." They arranged a time and place to meet. Fred Mabbitt had been an MP since 1983. He was a good host, commenting on Parliamentary life, and passing on some of the rumours and gossip of the place. The Commons were expected to adjourn at 10.00pm, and after they had eaten Trevor was able to go up into the Stranger's Gallery and observe things. It was not an exciting evening, and not many were in the House, but Parliamentary government was not all Prime Minister's Question Time, and crucial voting. Trevor and Fred went back to their apartments together. Fred invited Trevor into his apartment for a night cap, and after half an hour Trevor left to go to bed. Trevor had enjoyed his evening. The next morning he went off to see an exhibition in the Sainsbury Wing of the National Gallery, before making his way back to Potter's End. This was the beginning of a friendship. Fred Mabbitt was a hundred per cent hetero-sexual, but like many Labour MPs was in favour of the lowering of the age of consent, and the repeal of Margaret Thatcher's notorious Clause 28. Whenever Trevor was in town, and when the House was sitting, Trevor and Fred would dine together. When Fred acted as host they dined in the Palace of Westminster; whenever Trevor was host they went to some West End restaurant. But Trevor missed Ross. Trevor also visited his solicitor to change his will. He was increasingly thinking he would take up Gloria's offer to come and be his housekeeper. That would mean that she would give up her flat in Leytonstone, but would be dependant on him for a home. He decided to leave Russell's to Zach, who would take care of his mother in the event of Trevor's death. There were a few bequests he wanted make. The rest of his estate was to be divided between Zach and his godson Trevor. Early February brought the first heralds of Spring. In the orchard the aconites and snowdrops began to bloom. Trevor decided to take a few flowers to put on Ross' grave, as Ross had always loved the Spring flowers, and also Trevor had been notified that the gravestone was now in place. He got his stick. He was now walking with a stick as the old war wound was tending to make itself felt whenever he walked any distance. He picked the tiny posy of flowers, and walked across the green to the church and its graveyard. It was a bright sunny day with a strong wind driving the few clouds in haste across the sky. He went towards the grave. A robin fluttered up from the ground and stood on the headstone, with its head on one side observing Trevor. "Hi, old chap. Are you keeping an eye on him for me?" The bird twittered briefly, and flew onto another nearby grave stone, still watching Trevor. He looked at the stone. It had the words, `Ross James, 1929-1997 Author', inscribed on it. Underneath the lettering was an empty space for the addition of `Trevor Russell, 1932 to ?' and `In death they were not divided.' Trevor bent down and placed the flowers on the grave. He stood in silence remembering. His eyes moistened, but he was not sure if that was not the wind. He decided to go into the church. He went in, shutting the door and went and sat in a pew half way down the aisle. Trevor was immediately conscious of the stillness. There was a silence, yet the noise of the wind soughing in the roof only accentuated the peace in the building. As he sat it seemed that there was a great company of silent people around him. The latch on the door clicked and someone came in. Trevor turned to see Geoff, the vicar, coming down the aisle. "Hello, Trevor. I'm sorry to interrupt you." He came and sat in the pew in front of Trevor and turned round to face him. "Do you come in here often?" "No this is the first time I've come and sat in here like this. I brought some snowdrops and aconites to place of Ross' grave, and also to inspect the headstone." "Is it all right?" "Yea, fine." "I've just popped across to collect something. When you're done in here, come across to the vicarage for a coffee." "Thanks. I'll do that." Trevor sat in the church for a further ten minutes. He found it a therapeutic experience. He made his way across to the vicarage. The vicarage was a new one, built in the 1970s. It was built in what had been a corner of the huge garden of the rambling Victorian vicarage. The old building had been turned into flats. Geoff was a young man, with a young family. His wife helped the family finances by working three nights a week in the hospital in High Wycombe. There were two young children of early school age. Trevor was shown into the kitchen, and was introduced to Geoff's wife, who was about to go upstairs to get some sleep as she was on night duty that coming night. Geoff and Trevor sat at the kitchen table. "It was strange sitting in your church. There was the noise of the wind in the roof. Yet it seemed so quiet. There was no one else there, except for when you came in, and yet the place seemed full of people. Yet it felt comfortable, not spooky. It was welcoming, friendly." Trevor ran out of words. "I know what you mean. There has been a church on that spot for nearly a thousand years. The oldest part of the actual building goes back to the twelfth century. Villagers have been worshipping in that church all that time, getting baptised, getting married, and getting buried. Happy memories, sad memories. It, in some way, rubs off onto the place. Sometimes when I am doing something there I am conscious of my predecessors. Some approving and some not approving," added Geoff with a laugh. They talked further. Trevor told Geoff of his experience of the numinous at Tane Mahuta; though without all the details of what had taken place there. A couple of Sunday later Trevor slipped into the back of the church at the morning service. He was made welcome, as he knew most of the people there. He decided he would probably go again. So it was that Trevor became an occasional church -goer at his parish church. It all helped, but he missed Ross. *** Gradually life assumed a set pattern for Trevor. He continued to attend the two monthly board meetings. He got involved with an AIDS charity. His business visits to London were often combined with a concert, or a theatre visit. He liked to drop into various museums and galleries for an hour. If he wandered around for much longer his leg started to trouble him. Zach and Adam paid regular visits, and he visited them for a weekend or two. He looked forward to their visits. The two of them always brought a great sense of fun and zest for life into the place. There was always a great deal of playfulness, as well as genuine affection, in the love making which was an essential part of their visits. "We come to make sure that you are looking after yourself, and that all the parts are in good working order," remarked Adam on one occasion. "So far so good," replied Trevor with a grin. The two of them were working hard, and doing well. Trevor noticed how there were signs of increasing prosperity with the two men. Their first car had been a second hand clapped out old banger. They got a fresh car each year, always slightly better, larger, and newer than the one they had bought the year before. Then it became two cars, one for each of them. "It is going to be new cars from next year," announced Adam. "I am aim to be into the brand new Merc league before I retire," said Zach. "My target is a chauffeur driven Rolls," capped Adam. "The rate you two are going, I wouldn't be surprised if you achieved that," added Trevor. But he still missed Ross. The Driffield family down at Winchfield continued to keep a caring eye on Trevor. Young Trevor would sometimes pick him up and take him down to Winchfield for a weekend, and bring him back early on a Monday morning. Lizzie and he would phone each other regularly. Trevor decided to accept Gloria's offer to come and housekeep for him. She moved in at the beginning of July. It took them just a couple of weeks to sort out who did what. Gloria did all the housework, and ironing. These were jobs that Trevor disliked doing. He saw to the washing, and the garden. They both liked cooking so they shared that, on the understanding that the person who cooked did not clear away and see to the washing up, though that was largely taken care of by a dishwasher. In the evenings Gloria retreated to her room to watch her soaps, Eastenders, Coronation Street, and Emmerdale Farm. Trevor either did some more work, or listened to music. He was still doing book reviews, writing the occasional article and giving the infrequent lecture. His taste in television was not the same as Gloria's! From the start Gloria had announced that she would be going to church on Sunday. Trevor decided he would go with her. Together they walked over the green to the village church. Gloria was resplendent in her best hat. It was a huge concoction of many colours that would have graced Ladies' Day at Royal Ascot. The rather staid congregation were initially taken aback, especially when Gloria joined with un-Anglican enthusiasm in singing the hymns with a powerful and attractive contralto voice. Within the month she was fully accepted. She had baked cakes for a coffee morning, and volunteered to help with cleaning the church. Public transport at Potter's End was limited. Trevor soon decided that if he was not to become Gloria's chauffeur she would need to drive. He paid for her to have lessons, and longed for the day when she passed her test. This she did on the second attempt. Karen Driffield's baby was born in the middle of July. It was another boy and named Paul, after his grandfather. The baby was baptised in September and Zach was a very proud and ebullient godparent. Christmas was again spent down at Winchfield. Again Adam and Zach were the focus of attention for the children, and Zach was to be seen billing and cooing over young Paul whenever the baby was awake. He also proved to be an accomplished nappy -changer, much to Gloria's amazement. So 1998 ran its course, but Trevor still missed Ross. *** In Mid February Adam and Zach came for one of their weekends. Gloria called these `two bird visits'. "They come and kill two birds with one pebble, Zach sees his Mum, and they give you a good time." When they arrived this weekend it was obvious Zach was not feeling well. "He's been complaining about a sore throat and head ache for the last two days," said Adam. Gloria packed Zach off to bed, a single bed, and proceeded to allow all her motherly instincts come to the fore, and fussed over him. He seemed to spend most of the time asleep. It was just after 10.00 when the others went up to bed. Adam had insisted that Trevor went through the bathroom before him. Trevor came back and sat on the edge of the bed deep in thought while Adam was in the bathroom. "A penny for them," said Adam, as he came back into the room. Trevor looked up. "I was just thinking how thankful I am to you." "In what way." "For sharing Zach. He's your partner." Adam came and sat on the bed alongside Trevor. "I need to thank you too." Trevor looked at him, with a questioning look on his face. "Thank you for Zach. He owes you so much. He often talks about you, and says he doesn't know where he'd be if it wasn't for you." "I only bathed him and read him stories when he was young. Talked to him, played with him a bit." "And that was important. You were his male role model." Adam put an arm round Trevor. "So thank you. Thank you for making room for me in your life. I feel that you love us both equally." Trevor turned and faced Adam. "I think that's true." "You're still missing Ross, aren't you?" Trevor nodded. "A lot." He paused. "Sometimes the loss seems almost a physical pain. I feel so lonely at times. And I feel so guilty when I feel that?" "Why?" "I have four people very close to me, you and Zach, Gloria and godson Trevor. I know how much you all love and care for me. I know you'd do anything for me; it seems so ungrateful to feel down." "I don't know much about these things. I've never lost someone really close, either family or friend. But you lived with Ross for a long while; it seems to me obvious you're going to miss him for a long while." "I suppose so." Adam spoke next with hesitation. "Zach told me something about Ross saying something to him about hoping you'd find someone else." "He said the same to me. But it is not as simple and easy as all that." "No. I can't see you putting an advert in a gay mag asking for a lover. `Retired University professor wants passionate boy friend!' " They both laughed. "No, that's not me. I don't even know how to start looking." "Were you consciously looking when you met Ross?" Trevor laughed again. "No I'd gone away for a few days to do some hard work. The last thing I was thinking about was meeting someone." "What happened." "I used to go for an early morning swim, just as the sun came up out of the Pacific. I was there alone for several mornings. Then along came this Kiwi to do the same. We got talking. We had a couple of meals together, fell in love - and the rest is history." "What about Isaac?" "Surely Zach has told you the story?" "Yes. But were you looking for a lover, father figure, guardian or whatever?" "No. Isaac was just the means of earning a bob or two. But he was different. Kind, treated me as a person, not as a piece of meat." "When did you fall in love with him?" Trevor thought for a moment. "The real early turning point was when he first took my cock into his mouth. I was amazed. We had an old saying, `boys suck, men fuck', it just was not done for a man to suck a boy's cock, he just bent his head down and took me into his mouth." "What about Kundi? How did that start?" "We just drifted into a close friendship, and realised we both like the same thing." Trevor smiled at the memory of that first time in the field in Sherwood Forest. "Anyway what is this inquisition all about?" "All three of the most significant relationships in your life happened when you were not looking for it. I think that if you are ever to find someone else it will just happen. Perhaps when you least expect it. `Someday it may happen.' "I think I would find it hard to start a relationship from square one at my time of life!" "Get on with you! You're not that old." "I'm fast approaching seventy." "And we all love you more than ever." Adam lent towards Trevor and placed a soft kiss on Trevor's lips. Trevor responded, and they exchanged soft lipped kisses. Trevor's arm went round Adam, and pulled him close. Their kisses became stronger, and tongues came into play. Adam's hand went down onto Trevor's thigh. Trevor went back so that he was half lying on the bed, his feet still on the floor. Adam kicked off his slippers and leant over Trevor kissing him, and his hand stroking Trevor's thigh. Trevor struggled free, and kicking off his slippers he pulled himself fully onto the bed. Adam responded by get fully on the bed on top of Trevor. Their crotches thrust at each other, and they continued to kiss. Trevor's hands rubbed Adam's back, and then reached down to his buttocks. He knew that this was something the younger man enjoyed. Adam was wearing jeans, fastened by a belt. Trevor pulled Adam's back shirt tail free of the jeans, and inserted the fingers of one hand into the top of the jeans. He managed to touch the beginning of the valley between Adam's buttocks. At the same time Adam undid a couple of Trevor's shirt buttons and inserted a hand, enjoying the feel of Trevor's hairy chest, and finding one of his nipples to play with. Adam grasped Trevor tightly and rolled over onto his back pulling Trevor on top of him. They thrust at each other. Trevor lifted himself and undid the top five buttons of Adam's shirt. He pulled it aside. Adam had no body hair. Trevor began to kiss his neck and upper chest, and to lick and use his lips on Adam's nipples. These hardened. Trevor got off Adam, undid his belt, and the button at the top of his jeans, and pulled down the zip. He thrust a hand in and felt the hot hardness of Adam's cock. He removed his hand, feeling the elastic at the top of the pants, he worked his hand in so that he could hold Adam's cock. They looked at each other, grinned, and resumed kissing. It was now Adam's turn to take the initiative. He pushed Trevor off himself, and did to Trevor what he had done just a few minutes before. In a state of partial undress they held each other's cock and exchanged kisses. "My cock wants to get alongside yours," said Trevor. He started to push down Adam's jeans and pants. Adam helped, and using his feet pushed them right down and kicked them off onto the floor. Trevor followed suit, and soon his trousers and pants were deposited in an untidy pile on the other side of the bed. It was one of the occasions when Isaac's strict training was not followed to the letter. Their found each other's cock, and thrust together with mounting urgency. Their hands felt, and stroked every inch of each other's body as much as they could reach. There were increasingly frenzied movements as each tried to get closer to the other. First one was one the top, then the other. One would break away to suck the other's cock, but when the one being sucked felt an approaching climax he pushed the other away, and they would reverse roles. Neither wanted to climax before the other. So it went on. Adam was on top with his cock on Trevor's stomach, and Trevor's cock was stuck up behind Adam's balls against his perinaeum. Their spittle mixed with the precum, made everything well lubricated. They thrust other, and kissed in a frenzy of moevemnt. Adam groaned. "Go on. I want it, give me your love juice," asked Trevor. "I want you to come at the same time." "I'm nearly there. Go on; don't stop." Trevor felt Adam's cock convulse and a series of shots of hot cum came out onto his stomach. Then Adam felt Trevor's cock convulse. His spunk did not shoot out as powerfully as it used to, but there was enough for Adam to know that Trevor too had climaxed. They lay on each other, getting their breath back. They kissed and kissed again. "Thanks Adam." "Thank you. That was great. I had forgotten how unpenetrative sex could be so good." Much later that night Zach woke and had to go to the bathroom. He quietly opened the door of the large bedroom, and looked in. In the dim light he saw a dishevelled bed, and Adam and Trevor a tangle of arms and legs. He smiled to himself. Adam stirred, and opened one eye. When he saw who it was he winked at Zach, and raised a hand to give him a slight wave, before going back to sleep. *** In 1999 Trevor's church going became more regular. One reason was the influence of Gloria. `I like to get to church every Sunday, come hell or high tide.' She liked Trevor to go with her. The second reason was a growing friendship with the vicar - Geoff. Trevor found he could talk easily to him, and he could air his opinions and Geoff would listen, smile, and give the other side of the argument when there was a disagreement. Their discussions, arguments, were exceedingly mild when compared with the way he had argued with Ross. But some of the areas they discussed were personal, matters of faith and ethics. Over the months Trevor told Geoff more and more of his story. He realised he could trust Geoff completely. Though Geoff was not particularly High Church, he obviously practised the seal of the confessional even though Trevor never went anywhere near a confessional box. When Trevor told him about his rape by Fred, and the time he worked as a rent boy, he looked across into Geoff's eyes, wondering how he would take that information. He saw love, sympathy and understanding. "Thank you for telling me that. It all fits into place. I just admire you for what you have achieved in life after such a difficult start." "That was largely Isaac's doing. He sorted me out. Educated me, encouraged me, taught me to think, taught me German and French." "And gave you love," said Geoff with a smile. "Yes. Possibly that was the most important of the lot. Even though it involved activities that the majority of human kind thoroughly disapprove of, and could have landed him in gaol." Geoff shrugged his shoulders. "But is was the love you needed. It does not seem to have done you any harm. It was probably far better than it would have been being brought up by a guardian who showed you no physical affection at all." "I've been very fortunate. There have been periods in my life when there has been no one, but Isaac, Ross, and others in between have been a great help." "Are you in one of those periods now? Sorry! I shouldn't `ave asked that. I'm being nosy." Trevor looked fully at Geoff. "My sexual needs are being taken care of by two men." "Zach and Adam?" Trevor nodded. "You guessed?" "I'd wondered. If the three of you are happy, and no one is being hurt, then I'm not going to condemn." "I love them both very much. They are like sons to me. That sounds rather incestuous, in view of what happens when they are around." Trevor grinned. "I miss Ross terribly. Sometimes it is an unbearable ache. I think he thought I'd find someone else. No one has turned up so far. He said I was to go ahead if someone did turn up." "You never know." "Zach and Adam say they are keeping me fit and in good working order for when the right person comes along." They both laughed. Trevor went on three or four short breaks. He went to Prague, a first visit for him. He especially enjoyed seeing Mozart's Don Giovanni in the city for which it was written. He also went to Vienna. He looked up the house where Isaac had been born, and only wished he could have sent a photograph of it to Isaac. He went to Florence, and spent three mornings just going round the Uffizzi Gallery. In September Gloria celebrated her sixtieth birthday. Zach and Trevor laid on a party at Russell's. The Driffields from Winchfield came for the day. A number of local people, mainly from the church, were there. Zach had also arranged for a small coach to bring some of Gloria's Leytonstone friends for the day. It was fortunately one of those days when the bees `think warm days will never cease'. Trevor and Zach had wondered how the two groups would get on together, the well heeled locals from Potter's End, with the folk from what could just be called the East End of London. The locals, without discussion or deliberate intention, decided to make it a `day out' for those from Leytonstone. They waited on the others as guests. The nearest it came to strife was the contest about who was to help clear things away. The people from Leytonstone went home laden with gifts of fruit and vegetables from the gardens of the locals. Geoff, the Vicar came and gave a short speech that showed just how much Gloria was appreciated in her new community. For Gloria it was a wonderful day. She was arrayed in one of her most colourful dresses. At the end of the day she hugged Zach, Adam and Trevor, and tears flowed as she tried to express her thanks to them all. So 1999, the twentieth century, and the second Millenium passed on its way into history. But Trevor still missed Ross. *** Gloria, Trevor, Zach and Adam came back to Potter's End for the New Year, New Century, New Millennium celebrations. A huge bonfire had been constructed on the village green, and there was a fireworks display. Much alcohol was drunk, and nobody stirred until late the following morning. One afternoon when Trevor was staying at Winchfield he was talking to Lizzie. He was telling her about his early days down in Somerset. He talked about Harry. Lizzie detected the warmth there was in Trevor's voice. "Have you thought of trying to trace him?" "I did try once. years ago. I went down to Binchcombe, and asked around. All I could learn was that they had moved away, and some vague information about Eric, Harry's Dad having died, Molly, his widow, had moved up to Birmingham. I have no idea whether he is alive or dead." "Have you thought about seeing if he had died by looking through all the Registers at the Record Office." "That sounds a formidable task." "Not as bad as it sounds. The registers are alphabetical, and quarterly. The death register would give the name and the place where it was registered. It would be a question of ploughing through. For further information you have to buy a copy of the death certificate. I think they cost something like £7.50" "Thanks. I think I might try that." "You could look at telephone directories, and register of electors. They would tell you where he lived, if he was still alive." Trevor decided to do the easiest thing first and check through the Death Registers. These were in London. It was a simple but arduous task. The actual registers were large and heavy volumes. There were usually four volumes for each quarter. He had to get the one containing the H entries, take it over to a reading desk, and look up Hearn. When he had looked he had to place the volume back on the shelf. Hearn is not the most common of names; nowhere near as many as Smith, Brown or Jones. He soon realised he did not remember, if he had ever known, whether Harry was the actual name, or whether he had been baptised Henry, or Harold, or even some totally unrelated name. He did form a short list, but realised that was little help. He did find the death of a Mabel Hearn in Birmingham in 1980, and he thought that that might be the person who had cared for him during those early months of the war. After an hour of doing this his leg began to ache, so he called it a day. He also tried the telephone directories in the reference section of the High Wycombe library. What he did not know was the Harry's names were Eric Harold. He was named after his father, but his first name was never used. Trevor was drawing a blank. There was however one outcome of all this in that Trevor caught the Family History bug and decided to trace his own ancestry. This gave him a new hobby. In the summer Trevor went on a visit to the Norwegian Fiords, up north to the Land of the Midnight Sun. He did not like the idea of being away for so long on his own, so he decided to take Lizzie Driffield with him. They had single cabins, and enjoyed each other's company. There was a German man alone on the cruise. Trevor and Lizzie thought he was in his fifties. As Trevor spoke fluent German he was soon engaged in long conversations with the man. "Is your German friend gay?" asked Lizzie one evening. "I think so. In fact I am sure . How did you tell?" "I think, just women's intuition. I think he rather likes you." Trevor grinned. "You think so?" "I am sure so. Don't let me being with you hold you back." "That is a very naughty suggestion to come from a bishop's wife!" Lizzie laughed. "I'm not a spoil sport." A couple of days later Trevor remarked. "You were right Lizzie. I've been propositioned." "And?" "No go. The chemistry isn't right. I just don't fancy him that way. He's a nice guy, pleasant to talk to, but no further." Later that summer Trevor paid some short visits on his own to some of the northern capitals, Copenhagen, Oslo, Stockholm and Helsinki. Geoff, the vicar, used to call in on Gloria and Trevor from time to time, and Trevor was sometimes asked to `Pop round for a coffee, and have a chat'. "You've been coming to church for some time now, and have become a regular. Have you thought about being confirmed?" "I have thought about it." "And." "I'm not sure. You know my life style. The church does not really approve of what I have been doing all my life." "It does not approve of what ninety-nine per cent of us do in one way or another. None of us is perfect." "All sinners and so on?" "Yes, all." "There are some things in my life, Geoff, that I'd like to change. I think I'd be a better, and more pleasant person if I did. But my sexuality is an essential part of me. If that were changed I'd no longer be me, I'd be a different person. And I'm not sure a better person." "I think I see what you're getting at. I think there are much more serious matters than what two men do together in bed. You're not hurting each other, and there is a lot of love in your relationships, isn't there?" "Yes. A great deal." "I'd be prepared to present you for confirmation. You'd then be able to receive communion. I know you come up for a blessing, but it doesn't seem right." "Do you think I believe enough?" "Well, what do you believe?" Trevor gave a hesitant answer, spelling out some fairly orthodox beliefs. "I know some clergy who have more unorthodox beliefs than that." "But I thought confirmation was just for kids." "Not today. The majority of people who get confirmed round here are adults. I've prepared people older than you for confirmation." Trevor had a number of sessions with Geoff when they discussed matters to do with the Christian faith. He was confirmed at a service in a neighbouring church by the Bishop of Oxford. Lizzie and godson Trevor where there, as well as a joyful Gloria, and a not so certain Zach and Adam. After the service Lizzie came up to Trevor. "Several times Paul said to me how much he would have loved to have been able to give you communion. Pity he did not live to see this day." "I wish he could've confirmed me." "Perhaps he knows." *** So 2000 passed into history and 2001 began to run its course. "How goes it, Trev?" asked Geoff one morning early in the year at the church gate when Trevor had gone to place the now traditional small posy of snowdrops and aconites on Trevor's grave. "I have a strange feeling, Geoff. I feel I am waiting; and I don't know what I'm waiting for." "Is there something you would like to happen?" "No really. I am quite content. I miss Ross, of course. But my life is pleasant. I'm in good health. No aches and pains or problems, except for this old leg that aches a bit if I do too much on in it. I've some wonderful friends. Gloria, would wait on me hand and foot given half a chance. There's the Winchfield crowd, not a week goes by without one or two phone calls. As you know I go down there quite often." "'Count you blessings name them one by one' as the old hymn says. "I do, and there are many. But I feel like winter waiting for spring." "I hope that it comes soon." That summer Trevor took Lizzie on holiday to Italy. They had a week in Venice, and week in Tuscany and a week in Rome. In Sienna Lizzie attracted the attention of an Italian man. "Well Lizzie, what do you think of Vincento?" "He is very nice, very charming, and delightful companion; but nothing more. To use your words from last year, `the chemistry is not right'. The both laughed. Jeff at jeffyrks@hotmail.com Just one more chapter!